web analytics
The Standard

A modest proposal

Written By: - Date published: 8:52 am, August 8th, 2012 - 25 comments
Categories: health, jobs - Tags:

I plan to start a business. I will be a job creator. 50 people will have jobs thanks to me. The whole community will benefit. My business will make poisoned puppy toys. Don’t get me wrong. They won’t kill every puppy who chews on them every time. Only 50% over the puppies’ lives. 30 puppies a year will die per job created. But – jobs! Does it make it better if I’m only selling the poison puppy toys in Australia?

If this was real, not only would I not be allowed to open my factory, I would probably be lynched. But when a foreign multi-national does exactly this with poison smoking sticks for humans, the mayor shows up to to open the factory.

I guess, what I’m trying to say is that’s f*cken nuts.

25 comments on “A modest proposal”

  1. Roy 1

    Well said…but you forgot that puppies are cute, and people dying of lung cancer in late middle-age are not. Also, there are a number of people in the New Zealand population who foam at the mouth at anything to do with animal welfare, but don’t give a damn about, or actively loathe, their fellow human beings.

  2. Tombstone 2

    I’m a smoker and personally I wish they would bloody well ban the things once and for all because that’ll be that – if I can’t buy ’em over the counter I can’t smoke ’em. All this bullshit about people resorting to buying them through a black market is just alarmist nonsense. As though my mum is gonna pop down to the local gang pad to buy her fags – yeah right!

    • bbfloyd 2.1

      She won’t have to… there will be large numbers of home growers pop up.. there are already people growing their own tobacco…. some of them will just step up production…. it’s safer than cannabis, being illegal to sell it without paying tax on it, not to grow it…..so banning it will make it commercially viable…

      No doubt, someone you know will be able to introduce you to “freinds” who can “help”…

  3. Rosie 3

    Roy, poisonous puppies are a good metaphor for the story. Also it is quite possible to be a supporter of animal welfare AND human rights at the same time. The human brain has a capacity to feel compassion and empathy for all species including it’s own.

    If you have met an animal rights activist and found them to be in any way contemptous of their fellow humans, ask yourself why. Maybe witnessing the cruelty that humans impose upon defenceless animals on a daily basis makes them feel distrusting of and disillusioned by humanity.

    And on the subject of people “who don’t give a damn about, or actively loathe, their fellow human beings”. You don’t have to an animal welfare supporter to display these atttributes. Just look at folks like Shonkey and his cronies. They’ve got no excuse for serving up the hate but still they do and many NZers suffer because of it.

    • deuto 3.1

      +1. Well said, Rosie. With you 100% based on many years involved with an animal welfare organisation.

      • Rosie 3.1.1

        Indeed deuto:-) All those I’ve met, and theres been many, who work with animals in a welfare role, including providing sanctury and rehabilitation have been well adjusted easy going people with a sense of humour. I think this approach must be necessary for work that could easily be depressing. Usually they have better skills of observation than most and therefore are often more empathetic to their fellow human animals too.

  4. Tracey 4

    Interesting that the CEO of the company doesn’t smoke. However the media didn’t have the testicles to ask him why not…

    • Lanthanide 4.1

      As if he wouldn’t have a well-rehearsed “reasonable” answer for that question anyway.

      If you look at some of this statements, he repeatedly used the term “adult smokers”, rather than just saying “smokers”.

  5. Colonial Viper 5

    Your business proposal would be more acceptable if your target market was not predominantly white, but full of coloured people.

  6. Jane 6

    If poisoning puppies was a legal business then I guess you could set it up, buts it not.

    Dosnt alcohol cause more deaths, sickness and social issues? Ban that too?

    I’m in favor of getting rid of smoking all together, but until it is either illegal or just fades away over time then arguing over a legal business expanding seems pointless…

    • Colonial Viper 6.1

      I’m in favor of getting rid of smoking all together, but until it is either illegal or just fades away over time then arguing over a legal business expanding seems pointless…

      But don’t you think that its important for society to develop the discussion and to then present our law makers with appropriate pressure and recommendations?

      If poisoning puppies was a legal business then I guess you could set it up, buts it not.

      It’ll be legal in some target markets, so just sell to those.

      • Jane 6.1.1

        Yes, that is what needs to happen, and to some extent it is, the easiest way to reduce smoking is to keep increasing the tax, more and more people will quit as they head towards 30 bucks a pack, not all but many.

        Picking on a legitimate business and comparing it with poisoning puppies when the country is desperate for jobs and exports seems extreme.

        In the markets where puppy poisoning toys are legal it would be possible to setup.

      • Jane 6.1.2

        Yes, that is what needs to happen, and to some extent it is, the easiest way to reduce smoking is to keep increasing the tax, more and more people will quit as they head towards 30 bucks a pack, not all but many.

        Picking on a legitimate business and comparing it with poisoning puppies when the country is desperate for jobs and exports seems extreme.

        • Rosie 6.1.2.1

          Hi Jane.
          “Picking on a legitimate business and comparing it with poisoning puppies when the country is desparate for jobs and exports seems extreme”.
          I’m unemployed and desparate for work but theres no way I’d go and work at a fag factory as I’d then be in some way responsible for the illness and death of others. Believe me I’ve done unpleasant work out of desparation before but not work that harms others. Jobs at any cost, ie, setting up a cancer stick factory and creating jobs that way, isn’t a smart approach to reducing unemployment.

          • Draco T Bastard 6.1.2.1.1

            +1

            Of course, this government is setting it up so that people who are unemployed will be so desperate that they’ll work anywhere for as little as the employer can get away with paying.

  7. Tracey 7

    The only way to make something currently legal, illegal is to talk about it and raise the issue. Not discussing stuff is usually the slowest way to create a law change.

    I would like to see alcohol and cigarette smoking put on the same level as marajuana. If we’re going to be hypocrites let’s do it properly and tax the shit.

  8. Tracey 8

    Prostitution is no longer illegal, will a mayor attend a brothel opening on the grounds it provides employment opportunities for young unemployed women????

  9. McFlock 9

    Why would your dog-endangering chew toy be illegal? I mean, if it said “healthy life-extending chew toy” it would be a lie and consumer guarantees come into play. But if it had half the pack devoted to pictures of dead dogs, what law would it break?
             
     

  10. Tracey 10

    Animal Welfare Act and the Code for Dogs (2010) which includes 3.1.2 Risky foods and objects, and 7.9 Owners and persons in charge of dogs must take all practical steps to ensure that
    dogs are not exposed to poisons and harmful substances.

    • McFlock 10.1

      Interesting. But a single exposure to the puppy toy will not cause suffering or endanger the life of the puppy at any appreciable level, so wouldn’t count as a “poison” or “ill treatment” at any stretch of the imagination.   
               
      60 toys a day for an extended period of years, on the other hand, will.
                 
      One might argue where that acceptable dividing line is, or even put it in a code of conduct, but the point is that dogs don’t make decisions for themselves. We do.
           
      Oh, and the other difference is that we are obliged to give dogs a lethal injection when they finally get an incurable and painful condition.

    • Roy 10.2

      Obviously not enforced or moronic owners who let their dogs wander in areas where 1080 has been dropped would be prosecuted for animal cruelty. Instead they get portrayed as victims on TV.

      • Moreen 10.2.1

        No Roy the dog is the victim. I have a nice local farmer who sprays 24D directly onto me and my house and my tank water and fruit trees (which explains why after 10 years they have not fruited) he did this while I was at work and did not know he did this till I was made redundent 3 years ago and he is allowed to as it is a discretionary activity and just in case you wonder why I would buy a home near an agrichemical air strip, the answer is easy, they are not required to meet any health or safety standards or apply for resource consent, and so they sell off the land and do not disclose the airfield hey presto they have their quick buck and the goverment feels they are the back bone of New Zealand economy and they can do no wrong. They have been legally killing Nzers since 1950’s, just like tobacco company’s, just not as regulated

  11. Ray Wallace introducing Guy McPherson a few weeks ago in Petone
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZCNlXPlwmw&feature=plcp

    Clearly for Ray to say this ……….

    This morning Lower Hutt mayor Ray Wallace switched on a German-made Protos 80IR cigarette making machine – capable of churning out 8000 cigarettes a minute – marking the official opening of Imperial’s $45 million factory upgrade.

    Mr Wallace said since opening more than 80 years ago, the factory had provided ”thousands” of jobs and was now one of the Lower Hutt’s leading employers and ratepayers.

    ”Unlike other industry’s that have gone by the wayside, this one hasn’t. The fact that they have stayed here in Petone rather than go to Asia is a positive thing,” Wallace said.

    ”This level of expansion and investment is very rare in these economic times and I think we have to grab every opportunity.”

    Wallace, who has never tried smoking, said he respected Mrs Turia’s views, but saw smoking as a personal choice and he would support legitimate businesses who invested in the city.

    ”I’m here today as mayor to support one of our largest ratepayers, one of our biggest employers in this city, because that’s what the mayor needs to do along with the council, we need to be seen to be supporting the rate payers and our business that put substantial  investment in this city.
    ———————————————————————————

    He wasn’t listening, he also didn’t listen when he attended the first Peak Oil talk given in New Zealand back in 2000, just another useless so called leader.

  12. AmaKiwi 12

    Public versus private values. Should there be a difference?

    If someone knocked on my door and said she/he wanted to brainwash my children to buy their brand of fast food, I would throw them off the property (if I hadn’t decked them first). Same for someone selling cigarettes or booze.

    Yet we allow these low-life scum bags into our homes constantly via television. Why? Some b.s. called the free market.

    I tried to teach my children if they advertise it, you don’ need it. Because if you really need it, they don’t have to spend money convincing you to buy it.

    One of the benefits of another Great Depression will be to help society focus on what is essential, what is trivial, and what is harmful. Great Depression 2 is already undeway. By the time it hits bottom let’s hope the advertising industry is ruined.

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • Broadband failure sucks up more cash
    The Commerce Committee has blocked an inquiry into the $300 million rural broadband initiative (RBI) despite mounting evidence it’s a massive policy failure and waste of money, says Labour’s ICT spokesperson Clare Curran. “The Government is about to spend an… ...
    2 hours ago
  • TISA – Another secret trade deal you may never have heard of
      This post first appeared on The Daily Blog You’ve probably heard of the Trans-Pacific Partnership Agreement (TPPA) by now and the widespread concerns around it but what about the Trade in Services Agreement (TISA) also being currently negotiated by… ...
    GreensBy Gareth Hughes MP
    7 hours ago
  • Health chickens coming home to roost as Dunedin loses right to train doctor...
    News today that Dunedin Hospital has lost orthopaedic training accreditation is a major blow and proves the Government’s prevarication is having devastating consequences, Labour’s Health spokesperson Annette King says. “Losing orthopaedic advanced training is serious. There is a knock on… ...
    1 day ago
  • $74,000 quarterly rise shows crisis out of control
    New figures out today showing Auckland house prices have spiked by a massive $74,000 in the past quarter is further evidence the city’s housing crisis has spiralled out of control, Labour’s “In spite of constant announcements and photo opportunities from… ...
    1 day ago
  • Democracy for Nauru now
    Murray McCully must send the strongest possible message to the Nauruan Government that New Zealand does not condone its actions given the disturbing developments there, Labour’s Foreign Affairs spokesperson David Shearer says. “Right now we are seeing Nauru stripped of… ...
    1 day ago
  • Recovery needs more than a rebrand
    Today’s announcement of new governance arrangements for Canterbury seems to be nothing more than a fresh coat of paint on the same old approach, says Labour’s Canterbury Earthquake Recovery spokesperson Ruth Dyson. “The Canterbury Recovery has been too slow, with… ...
    1 day ago
  • Copper decision a victory for status quo, not Kiwi households
    New Zealanders hoping for cheaper copper broadband will be disappointed by the Commerce Commission’s latest decision in the long running saga to determine the price of copper, Labour’s ICT spokesperson Clare Curran says. “In an apparent attempt to appease everyone,… ...
    1 day ago
  • It’s time for hard decisions in the Bay
     The Ruataniwha dam project is turning into a huge white elephant as the economics fail to stack up, says Labour’s Water spokesperson Meka Whaitiri.  “Ruataniwha simply doesn’t make economic sense when you look at other major irrigation schemes around the… ...
    1 day ago
  • More testing won’t lift student achievement
    Hekia Parata’s latest plan to subject school students to even more testing and assessment won’t do anything to lift the educational achievement of the kids who are struggling, Labour’s Education spokesperson Chris Hipkins says. “New Zealand school students are already… ...
    1 day ago
  • Bad week for NZ economy gets worse
    The bad news for the New Zealand economy got worse this morning with the 8th successive drop in dairy prices at this morning’s global dairy auction, again exposing the absence of any Plan B from the National Government, Labour’s Finance… ...
    1 day ago
  • System failing to protect women and children from family violence
    Last week we called for mandatory child safety investigations in domestic violence cases. This came after the coronial inquiry into the deaths of Bradley and Ellen Livingstone and the verdict in the trial of the west Auckland boys charged with… ...
    GreensBy Jan Logie MP
    2 days ago
  • Backers banking on social bonds cash?
    The Government is refusing to say what the $29 million it has set aside for its controversial social bonds programme is for, raising suspicions it is an upfront payment to the project backers, Labour’s Health spokesperson Annette King says. A… ...
    2 days ago
  • Plastic Free July
    Today is the start of Plastic Free July. Since its inception in Perth, Western Australia four years ago, more and more people and organisations from around the world have joined the call to refuse single use plastic products. Nearly all… ...
    GreensBy Denise Roche MP
    2 days ago
  • State house sell off Bill gives extraordinary powers
    The Government is about to give Ministers extraordinary powers to take direct personal control of selling state houses, exempting Ministers from normal legal requirements and leaving the sale process wide open for corruption, Labour's Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford says. The… ...
    2 days ago
  • Cash for charter schools, mould for state schools
    At a time when state schools are struggling in old, cold, mouldy buildings and can barely make ends meet, the National Government is shovelling cash at charter schools which aren’t even spending the funding on kids’ education, Labour’s Education spokesperson… ...
    2 days ago
  • New Zealand needs a wise response to climate change
    Today in Parliament I got to hear from a group of New Zealanders who are concerned for the future of our country. Called Wise Response, the group is a broad coalition of academics, engineers, lawyers, artists, sportspeople and others who… ...
    GreensBy Russel Norman MP
    2 days ago
  • No alternative as waste scheme trashed
    Nick Smith must explain how he is going to prevent contamination of New Zealand’s ground and water with liquid and hazardous waste after scrapping the only monitoring scheme and offering no replacement, says Labour’s Environment Spokesperson Megan Woods. “From today,… ...
    2 days ago
  • Flawed system rates death traps as safe
    ACC Minister Nikki Kaye needs to come clean about what really lies behind the reclassification of 18 vehicles in her new motor vehicle registration system introduced today, Labour’s ACC spokesperson Sue Moroney says. "New Zealanders deserve the truth about the… ...
    2 days ago
  • Tiwai Smelter and 800 workers left in limbo
     Workers at Tiwai smelter and the people of Southland have once again been left in limbo over their future in the ongoing debacle over whether the plant stays open, says Labour’s Leader Andrew Little.  “It’s not good enough that after two years of… ...
    2 days ago
  • New twist in state house sell-off saga
    The Government has opened the door to buyers of state houses simply being landlords and not required to provide social services, Labour’s Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford says. The Prime Minister said at his post-Cabinet press conference buyers would not “have… ...
    2 days ago
  • Government fees will hit charities hard
    National’s decision to ignore the concerns of charities will see the voluntary sector face hundreds of thousands of dollars in new costs if the Policing (Cost Recovery) Amendment Bill passes, says Labour's Community and Voluntary Sector spokesperson Poto Williams. “National’s… ...
    3 days ago
  • Four out of ten for Simon’s Bridges
    The Transport Authority’s decision to fund only four of the 10 bridges promised in National’s shameless Northland by-election bribe is a huge embarrassment for Transport Minister Simon Bridges, Labour’s Transport spokesperson Phil Twyford says. “After one by-election poll showed they… ...
    3 days ago
  • Falling consents adding to Auckland housing woes
    Falling numbers of building consents being issued in Auckland will add to the city’s housing shortfall and fuel skyrocketing house prices, Labour’s Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford “The Productivity Commission found there was a shortfall of around 32,000 houses by the… ...
    3 days ago
  • So Mr English, do you have a plan?
    DIpping confidence about jobs, wages and shrinking exports are highlighting the lack of a plan from the government to diversify the economy and build sustainable growth, Grant Robertson  Labour’s Finance Spokesperson said. " Data released over the last week… ...
    3 days ago
  • Serious risks to tenants and assets in sell-off
    Overseas evidence shows there are serious risks around the Government's plan to sell off state houses to social housing providers, Opposition Leader Andrew Little says. “In the Netherlands – where community housing providers supply the majority of social housing –… ...
    3 days ago
  • Land of milk and money
    Kiwi families are paying over the top prices for their milk and someone is creaming off big profits, says Labour’s Consumer Affairs spokesperson David Shearer. “In 2011 the Government told us high New Zealand milk prices were a natural result… ...
    5 days ago
  • MoBIE largesse doesn’t stop with TVs and hair-straighteners
    The number of MoBIE staff earning more than $150,000 has risen 23 per cent in just a year, Labour’s Economic Development Spokesperson David Clark says. Documents obtained from the Ministry of Business, Innovation and Employment show there are now nearly… ...
    5 days ago
  • English wants to flog state houses to Aussies
    Bill English’s admission that he would sell hundreds of New Zealand’s state houses to the Australians is the latest lurch in the Government’s stumbling, half-baked housing policy, Labour’s housing spokesperson Phil Twyford says. “Bill English should face reality and admit his… ...
    6 days ago
  • Exports continue to fall as Government fails to diversify
    The Government quickly needs a plan to diversify our economy after new figures show that exports are continuing to fall due to the collapse in dairy exports, Labour's Finance Spokesperson Grant Robertson says. “Dairy exports fell 28 per cent compared… ...
    1 week ago
  • Government inaction leads to blurring of roles
    The Treasury wouldn’t have had to warn the Reserve Bank to stick to its core functions if the Government had taken prompt and substantial measures to rein in skyrocketing Auckland house prices, Labour’s Finance spokesperson Grant Robertson says. “The problems… ...
    1 week ago
  • Courthouse closures hitting regions
    The Government’s decision to shut down up to eight regional courthouses, some supposedly only temporarily for seismic reasons, looks unlikely to be reversed, Labour’s Justice spokesperson Jacinda Ardern says.“The move has hit these regions hard, but appears to be a… ...
    1 week ago
  • A Victory for Te Tiriti o Waitangi
    This week my partner, who has a number of professions, was doing an archaeological assessment for a District Council. He showed me the new rules around archaeologists which require them to demonstrate “sufficient skill and competency in relation to Māori… ...
    GreensBy Catherine Delahunty MP
    1 week ago
  • Tough bar set for Ruataniwha dam
     Today’s final decision by the Tukituki Catchment Board of Inquiry is good news for the river and the environment, says Labour’s Water spokesperson Meka Whaitiri. “Setting a strict level of dissolved nitrogen in the catchment’s waters will ensure that the… ...
    1 week ago
  • Minister for Women and National missing the mark – part two
    The Minister for Women was in front of the select committee yesterday answering questions about her plans for women. Some useful context is that we used to have a Pay and Employment Equity Unit within the then Department of Labour… ...
    GreensBy Jan Logie MP
    1 week ago
  • Lavish penthouse spend confirms culture of extravagance
    At the same time thousands of New Zealanders are being locked out of the property market, the Government is spending up on a lavish New York penthouse for its diplomats, Labour’s Foreign Affairs spokesperson David Shearer says. News that taxpayers… ...
    1 week ago
  • Māori Television exodus cause for concern
    The shock departure of yet another leading journalist from the Native Affairs team raises further concern the Board and Chief Executive are dissatisfied with the team’s editorial content, says Labour’s Māori Development spokesperson Nanaia Mahuta. “Annabelle Lee is an experienced… ...
    1 week ago
  • Million-plus car owners to pay too much ACC
    More than a million car owners will pay higher ACC motor vehicle registration than necessary from July, Labour’s ACC spokesperson Sue Moroney says. “During a select committee hearing this morning it was revealed that car owners would have been charged… ...
    1 week ago
  • Bill will restore democracy to local councils
    A new Labour Member’s Bill will restore democracy to local authorities and stop amalgamations being forced on councils. Napier MP Stuart Nash’s Local Government Act 2002 (Greater Local Democracy) Bill will be debated by Parliament after being pulled from the… ...
    1 week ago
  • Minister for Women again misses the mark – part one
    Yesterday I asked the Minister for Women about the government’s poor performance on it’s own target of appointing women to 45% of state board positions. I challenged why she’d put out a media release celebrating progress this year when the… ...
    GreensBy Jan Logie MP
    1 week ago
  • Banks enter Dragon’s Den in pitch for Government’s mental health experi...
    Overseas banks and their preferred providers were asked to pitch their ideas for bankrolling the Government’s social bonds scheme to a Dragon’s Den-style panel, Labour’s Health spokesperson Annette King says. Dragon’s Den was a reality television series where prospective ‘entrepreneurs’… ...
    1 week ago
  • Global Mode bullying won’t stop people accessing content
    It’s disappointing that strong-arm tactics from powerful media companies have meant Global Mode will not get its day in court. Today a settlement was reached terminating the Global Mode service, developed in New Zealand by ByPass Network Services and used… ...
    GreensBy Gareth Hughes MP
    1 week ago
  • More questions – why was the Former National Party President involved wit...
    Today in Parliament Murray  McCully said the reason Michelle Boag was involved in 2011 in the Saudi farm scandal was in her capacity as a member of the New Zealand Middle East Business Council. The problem with that answer is… ...
    1 week ago
  • Minister must explain Maori TV interference
    Te Ururoa Flavell must explain why he told Maori TV staff all complaints about the CEO must come to him – months before he became the Minister responsible for the broadcaster, Labour’s Broadcasting Spokesperson Clare Curran says. “Sources have told… ...
    1 week ago
  • KiwiSaver takes a hammering after the end of kick-start
    National seems hell bent on destroying New Zealand’s saving culture given today’s news that there has been a drop in new enrolments for KiwiSaver, says Labour’s Finance spokesperson Grant Robertson.  “New enrolments for the ANZ Investments KiwiSaver scheme have plunged… ...
    1 week ago
  • Straight answers needed on CYF role
    The Government needs to explain the role that Child, Youth and Family plays in cases where there is evidence that family violence was flagged as a concern, Labour’s Children’s spokesperson Jacinda Arden says. “The fact that CYF is refusing to… ...
    1 week ago
  • Prime Minister confuses his political interests with NZ’s interest
    The Prime Minister’s statement in Parliament yesterday that a Minister who paid a facilitation payment to unlock a free trade agreement would retain his confidence is an abhorrent development in the Saudi sheep scandal, Opposition leader Andrew Little says.  ...
    1 week ago
  • #raisethequota
    Last Saturday was World Refugee Day. I was privileged to spend most of my day with the amazing refugee communities in Auckland. Their stories have been inspiring and reflect the ‘can-do’ Kiwi spirit, even though they come from all different… ...
    GreensBy Denise Roche MP
    1 week ago
  • Dairy conversions causing more pollution than ever, report shows
    The Parliamentary Commissioner for the Environment (PCE) released two reports on freshwater quality and management last Friday. The water quality report shows that dairy conversions are hurting water quality and says that despite great efforts with fencing and planting, large… ...
    GreensBy Catherine Delahunty MP
    1 week ago
  • Employers want urgent action on health and safety
    Moves by National to water down health and safety reforms have been slammed by employers – the very group the Government claims is pushing for change, says Labour’s spokesperson for Labour Relations Iain Lees-Galloway. “The Employers and Manufacturers’ Association has… ...
    1 week ago
  • Labour calls on all parties to end coat-tailing
    Labour MP Iain Lees-Galloway is encouraging all parties to support his Bill to end the coat-tailing provision when it is debated in Parliament this week.  “New Zealanders have sent MPs a clear message. An opinion poll found more than 70… ...
    1 week ago

Public service advertisements by The Standard

Current CO2 level in the atmosphere