Author Archive

Caption Competition

Written By: - Date published: 3:30 pm, June 19th, 2009 - 58 comments

Get a shave mate, you’re the PM

Written By: - Date published: 4:18 pm, June 4th, 2009 - 47 comments

If you saw last night’s One News piece on the Worth fiasco, you might have noticed Key looking particularly haggard. This photo doesn’t really do justice to how crap he actually looked – grey, sallow, a lot of wrinkles and bags under the eyes, and a serious five o’clock shadow. Johno, if you can’t control your […]

Iz satisfard

Written By: - Date published: 7:18 am, June 4th, 2009 - 2 comments

hattip: Maia, Anthony Karinski

Sweet rides

Written By: - Date published: 10:22 am, June 1st, 2009 - 41 comments

A few weeks back, in the best traditions of tabloid TV, Q+A took time to mention Lockwood’s ride, the macho muscle car Ford Falcon Cobra – a car that screams red-blooded heterosexuality. It got me wondering. I heard Helen Clark used to drive a Mitsi when she was PM. Boring. But what sort of cars would […]

Caption Competition

Written By: - Date published: 7:26 am, May 30th, 2009 - 18 comments

English and Key uncertain of Budget’s focus

Written By: - Date published: 7:46 pm, May 27th, 2009 - 35 comments

If there was ever a phrase that this Government keeps reminding me of, it’s “couldn’t organize a piss-up in a brewery”. Today, on the eve of what will be a particularly important Budget for our country, the Prime Minister and the Minister of Finance aren’t entirely sure just what it is they’re trying to achieve. […]

On Auckland and Leningrad

Written By: - Date published: 3:36 pm, May 24th, 2009 - 17 comments

The modern blitzkrieg [lightning war] was first tested in the Spanish civil war, refined in the invasions of European states that marked the beginning of WWII, and applied successfully in more recent invasions in the Middle East. A blitzkrieg’s success comes from the speed of its prosecution, from which it gets it name. The speed of a blitzkrieg gives attackers […]

Caption competition

Written By: - Date published: 4:30 pm, May 22nd, 2009 - 40 comments

Teflon off: Key gets a mauling at Press Conference

Written By: - Date published: 4:32 pm, May 18th, 2009 - 33 comments

John Key’s performance at this afternoon’s 4pm Press Conference was impressive. I’ve never heard so many, ‘don’t knows’, denials, ‘I can’t tell yous’, prevarications and equivocations in a press conference before. You wonder why he bothered to even turn up, he could’ve just sent along a billboard with ‘No Comment’ on it for all the […]

One of these things is not like the other V

Written By: - Date published: 8:44 pm, May 15th, 2009 - 14 comments

One of these things is not like the other One of these things is not quite the same. Can you guess which one is not like the other Can you tell me before I finish the game?

I can see South Auckland from my house! An interview with Melissa Lee

Written By: - Date published: 5:44 pm, May 14th, 2009 - 16 comments

Did your company use NZ On Air money to produce a National Party promotional video? Look, I didn’t keep records of who was working on what when and it doesn’t work like that the only people who have a problem are disgruntled employees but they were volunteers and we were having fun so it doesn’t […]

Lee down, under; about to be reborn

Written By: - Date published: 9:10 am, May 14th, 2009 - 34 comments

Melissa Lee’s recent interviews on Q+A, TV1, TV3 and RNZ proved once and for all that being able to read an autocue doesn’t mean you’re any good at handling the media. When Lee put her hand up to rob the hapless Ravi Musuku of any chance of ever being rewarded for standing in Mt Albert, I […]

Not my Leaders

Written By: - Date published: 1:14 pm, May 6th, 2009 - 2 comments

Hide and Banks do not strike me as the kind of men you feel safe about having too much power. They never have been and they never will be. Yet so far the ongoing review of the so called ‘Supercity Plan’ has suggested it’s only weakness is that the Lord Mayor wouldn’t have enough power. Instead, […]

One of these things is not like the other IV

Written By: - Date published: 4:00 pm, May 1st, 2009 - 53 comments

One of these things is not like the other… One of these things is not quite the same. Can you guess which one is not like the other… Can you tell me before I finish the game?

One of these things is not like the other III

Written By: - Date published: 7:03 am, April 18th, 2009 - 20 comments

One of these things is not like the other… One of these things is not quite the same. Can you guess which one is not like the other… Can you tell me before I finish the game?

What comes around goes around

Written By: - Date published: 6:55 pm, April 11th, 2009 - 3 comments

It wasn’t so long ago that National’s covert attack organ, the Free Speech Coalition, were squealing about how anti-democratic the last Labour government was, with plenty of snappy billboards like this one. Well now that the tragedy of Fiji’s dictatorship is going from bad to worse, don’t expect to hear any more concern from the […]

One of these things is not like the other II

Written By: - Date published: 8:25 am, April 10th, 2009 - 36 comments

One of these things is not like the other… One of these things is not quite the same. Can you guess which one is not like the other… Can you tell me before I finish the game?

Who’s zooming who?

Written By: - Date published: 11:32 am, April 5th, 2009 - 27 comments

The Herald reports: Last week John Key used poor United States sales of the new BMW 7-series – 10 were sold in February, compared with more than 1500 in the same 2008 month – as an example of how much other countries were hurting in the economic crisis. But New Zealand…  sales of the top-of-the-line […]

One of these things is not like the other

Written By: - Date published: 4:30 pm, April 3rd, 2009 - 64 comments

One of these things is not like the other… One of these things is not quite the same. Can you guess which one is not like the other… Can you tell me before I finish the game?

Mayday Mayday, Worth’s bought it and I’m losing altitude – Groser out

Written By: - Date published: 6:00 am, April 1st, 2009 - 36 comments

Richard Worth, OBE, is now in very serious trouble having been snared in what looks like untruths about using his Ministerial portfolio to further the interests of a company he had a private commercial interest in. It’s pretty blatant and really Key won’t be able to get away with keeping him on for much longer. […]

Strings attached

Written By: - Date published: 12:18 pm, March 20th, 2009 - 20 comments

I’d always thought Westies were the type to do things their own way, so this seems more appropriate in light of today’s RNZ interview discussed in the following story from Tane…

90 axed at TVNZ

Written By: - Date published: 6:00 pm, March 16th, 2009 - 56 comments

In what’s turning out to be the gift that just keeps on giving for National, the Recession Bogeyman is now being blamed for a need to axe 90 staff from TVNZ. The Minister for Broadcasting reckons the cuts are necessary to make sure TVNZ keeps returing a fat dividend, even in these extraordinary times, even […]

The guy’s tired already

Written By: - Date published: 1:55 pm, March 13th, 2009 - 65 comments

If there’s one thing that strikes you about John Key’s post-cabinet press conference this week, it isn’t the scintillating prose or erudite diction. It isn’t even the brilliant plans brimming with enthusiasm, intelligence and vision. What’s remarkable is that the guy looks exhausted. He’s been in the job all of 3 months, extended holidays in Hawaii not withstanding, […]

PM eyes fetching tiara

Written By: - Date published: 6:14 pm, March 8th, 2009 - 61 comments

The world may be going to hell in a hand-basket and National may have been pretty derelict so far in coming up with any real plan to combat the recession, but clearly they’ve been busy focusing on the really important business of dragging us back into the past. The British titles of Knights and Dames […]

Meat and Wool NZ: “Job Summit Disappointing”

Written By: - Date published: 12:45 pm, March 6th, 2009 - 18 comments

It’s been said by some of the Government’s supporters that criticism of the Job Summit is nothing more than rantings of the embittered Left. Well, I may be doing Chairman of Meat and Wool NZ Mike Petersen a great disservice, but I’m willing to gamble that he’s not a hardcore lefty. Here’s what Petersen had […]

Some cold day in hell

Written By: - Date published: 1:10 pm, March 5th, 2009 - 30 comments

Observant msm spectators may have noticed this gem from TV1 news last night: ‘A radical shake-up of the controversial Seabed and Foreshore Act is on the cards it could result in new powers for Maori to test their rights in court, but John Key is vowing no New Zealander will lose their access to the […]

Right desperate to sully Clark legacy

Written By: - Date published: 10:41 am, February 8th, 2009 - 39 comments

When John Key was elected he was wise enough to be magnanimous in victory, acknowledging Helen Clark’s considerable skill and integrity throughout her term as one of our longest serving Prime Ministers. Since that time however, Key’s underlings have begun another death by a thousands cuts campaign – this time on the public’s memory and […]

Rainbows tame Waitangi

Written By: - Date published: 2:25 pm, February 7th, 2009 - 7 comments

Gosh what a difference a few years can make when it comes to symbols of national identity. Not so long ago National had a leader happy to springboard off dog-whistling race-divisive carping about the Treaty Grievance Industry in speeches and billboards. More recently National campaigned on abolition of the Maori seats, at least until it became […]

Fonterra set to simmer

Written By: - Date published: 12:10 pm, February 4th, 2009 - Comments Off on Fonterra set to simmer

Lawyer Stephen Price has rubbished Fonterra’s claim that the Chinese sub judice status of the Sanlu case prevents Fonterra releasing documentation of their communications. Price also doubts any discussion of the issues here would influence the outcome of Sanlu Chairwoman Tian Wenhau’s appeal. The criticism comes after Fonterra claimed it advised Sanlu only 0% melamine was acceptable […]

Car crushing fist of the State

Written By: - Date published: 12:45 pm, February 3rd, 2009 - 32 comments

Despite being remarkably quiet throughout a spate of serious police controversies, Police Minister Judith Collins has finally risen to the challenge of leadership over the so-called Boy Racer issue. Collins has suggested crushing the impounded cars of those deemed to be acting like ‘Boy Racers’ in reaction to a Christchurch incident last week when a […]

So that’s the plan

Written By: - Date published: 1:30 pm, February 2nd, 2009 - 41 comments

Well it may not have been particularly self-evident just what National have been doing since the election, but clearly John has some kind of plan. The TradeMe auction of Key’s arm cast, acquired after an inauspicious Chinese New Year trip, has begun. Worried perhaps that the auction might also fall flat on its face, John has […]

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