Caption competition

Written By: - Date published: 10:22 am, March 7th, 2014 - 82 comments
Categories: brand key - Tags:

Key photo op

82 comments on “Caption competition ”

  1. geoff 1

    “So people who do this for a living get minimum wage?? Haha, losers!!”

  2. freedom 2

    Remember Gerry, lift the corner of the rug first, then sweep

    • Rosie 2.1

      +1, “and Gerry, find the biggest rug you can, we’ve got a jolly big lot to sweep under it”

  3. Pascal's bookie 3

    The Prime Minister swept into Christchurch yesterday to mop up a Gerry Brownlee mess.

  4. karol 4

    Sergeant Schultz smirks at the sloppy work of an unidentified lackey, thinking of the punishment he can use. He doesn’t know the slippery lackey is just creating a diversion for an escape operation.

  5. fender 5

    Key cleans up after Brownlee empties his bladder on the floor again..

    Addict forced to do chores before his methadone is handed out..

    Idiot wanker holds a different pole for a change..

  6. Saarbo 6

    (Through smiling gritted teeth)

    “Grab the other broom and help me you fat lazy prick”

  7. David H 7

    Jezuz Gerry get out of the way, your squeezing too way much water out.

    Fuck I thought I could walk on water.

  8. sweetd 8

    Popular successful PM has his photo taken

    • swordfish 8.1

      Pissed Buffon with unconvincing toupee tries his hand at honest day’s work for first time in life.

      • swordfish 8.1.1

        Drunk PM mops up own stinking pool of diarrhea after mistaking liquid-laxative for Single Malt.

  9. fender 9

    Drunk golfer mistakes pharmacy for putting green..

    Quick thinking pharmacy worker photographs Hawaiian overstayer committing robbery..

  10. Bill 10

    Sweeping the imminent demise of pharmac under the carpet.

  11. captain hook 11

    I thought I was king canute but I’m just a noot!

  12. fender 12

    While picking up daily meds for Key, the pregnant Brownlee’s waters broke..

  13. AB 13

    Hey guys, Gerry left his Huggies at home, but ekshully the Cabinet office says it’s all good. Do I look cool ?

  14. scotty 14

    PM caught redhanded , desparately attempting to sweep the Judith Collins fiasco under the carpet.

  15. Puckish Rogue 15

    PM sweeps yet another lacklustre labour challenger away

  16. key:..

    “..aahh!!..takes me back to my days mopping up all the shit @ merrill-lynch..eh..?..”

    ..phillip ure..

  17. gezza-brownlee assumes his usual public-loo…’wide-stance’…

    phillip ure..

  18. key:..

    ..”..i scrub and i scrub…and yet the stains won’t go away..”

    ..phillip ure..

  19. blue leopard (Get Lost GCSB Bill) 19

    Key provides a visual image of what Labour/Greens will be having to do when they get into power – clean up the mess National have created.

    Brownlee shows what a big joke he thinks the mess is.

  20. gezza-brownlie..(thinks..)

    “..whoar..!..i wish he’d do that to my pole..!”..

    ..phillip ure…

  21. wild-life photographer catches/captures rand-ites at play..

    ..phillip ure..

  22. brownlee rushes..to fill the gap…

    ..phillip ure..

  23. JK 23

    This is just like being back at PlaySkool …..

  24. blue leopard (Get Lost GCSB Bill) 24

    Key shows an example of the type of job he sees fit for the majority of New Zealanders

    Brownlee chuckles as he thinks of Key and Joyce’s latest plans for sabotaging the education system

  25. photographer captures ‘the best side’..

    ..of both key and brownlee..

    ..phillip ure..

  26. AB 26

    Gerry’s not a malicious authoritarian, he let me mop up the dirty water!

  27. key adopts the ‘relaxed’ posture..

    ..and brownlee..seeing/seizing his opportunity..

    ..moves in..

    ..phillip ure..

  28. key:.

    “..her..?..she’s from the gcsb..they’re everywhere..eh..?..”

    phillip ure..

  29. AB 29

    Oops, Gerry laughed a bit too much when I said I had a ‘blind’ trust

  30. key:..

    “..after this..big-gezza and i are going to hit the shelves…

    ..for a bit of mix and match..

    ..this is why we are both grinning ear to ear.

    ..it’s..in expectation..eh..?..”

    ..phillip ure..

  31. key:..

    “..we cant get big enough nappies for him..eh..?..”

    phillip ure..

  32. AB 32

    It would be cool to do this for the median wage – that’s $75k pa right? Easy money!

  33. key:..

    “..no..my hairpiece is not ‘lifting-off’..”

    phillip ure..

  34. key:..

    ..”..i just imagine it is all that money sloshing into my ‘blind'(heh-heh!)-trusts..”

    ..phillip ure..

  35. AB 35

    $14/hour! Jeez, productive work sucks compared to speculation!

  36. AB 36

    The $9.70 I’ll get paid for this is the only part of my 50mil I really deserve – Haha

  37. AB 37

    If I gaze at the water I can see my face! Ah one more time, if I gaze at…

  38. AB 38

    Which do I love more – redistributing wealth upwards or sweeping sh*t downwards?

  39. Papa Tuanuku 39

    Brownlee invisible pony stresses out.

  40. Papa Tuanuku 40

    Key digs nation into even bigger hole.

  41. mikesh 41

    Water, water, everywhere … … say, Gerry, didn’t we have plans to privatize the stuff at some point.

  42. AB 42

    This is my vision of your brighter future

  43. AB 43

    Gerry – when did we join “the underclass”

  44. AB 44

    “one may smile and smile and be a villain”

  45. AB 45

    Gerry – we suspended ECan, so can I steal this water too?

  46. JanM 46

    Look, Gerry, it doesn’t matter what crawls out of the woodwork, just do as I do and sweep it under the carpet!

  47. Puckish Rogue 47

    “See Phil this is how you do a photoshoot”

  48. The moment before mr key’s pole dance demonstration for a social media photo opportunity went very wrong…

  49. Plotkin 49

    Mopping up some of David’s lies of last week. Pass me a bigger bucket, please.

  50. mac1 50

    “So, I was told to come down to Christchurch to get a handle on the crisis.”

  51. Stuart Munro 51

    “Some people don’t like slime but I feel right at home.”

  52. ianmac 52

    Key floods Christchurch so that he can get his photo op. Goes to extraordinary lengths that Machivellian chap.

    • blue leopard (Get Lost GCSB Bill) 52.1

      lol

    • weka 52.2

      Key floods Christchurch so that he can get his photo op. Goes to extraordinary lengths that Machivellian chap.

      “I knew trickledown had to be of some use!”

  53. Tracey 53

    Having run out of carpet the pm started stuffing secrets down brownlees undies

  54. ropata 54

    GB: “See John, I will be the management, you pretend to be the worker”
    JK: “Hi ho, hi ho, this ‘working’ lark is a piece of piss, give me another hit of that morphine stuff”

  55. risildowgtn 55

    I have pills in my pocket! Yum

  56. whatever next? 56

    “Here’s another fine mess you’ve gotten me into”….actually, could it be….it’s spooky how much they resemble Laurel and Hardy when I look at them

  57. ‘Aren’t floods fun?!’

  58. Concerned 58

    Well somebody has to clean up Cunliffe’s mess….

    • AB 58.1

      Tory troll shows lack of wit when viewing picture of Year 1 woodwork student cleaning Mr Brownlee’s [cl]ass

      • Concerned 58.1.1

        Can’t handle the truth eh AB…suck it in…truth does hurt…Your leader’s mess is all over the place and all over the newspapers and media…

        • AB 58.1.1.1

          Aah – not a caption methinks just a weak insult. And btw I have no ‘leader’. Tories do tend to fetishise ‘leadership’ though, probably because they are natural authoritarians

  59. xtasy 59

    Hah, last night I watched a speech by Mr Goebbels, and I saw a video of “Mein Fuehrer”, and hey, it gave me ideas, get a broom or something, pretend you are one of “the people”, and your votes and coming electoral victory are “ensured”. Hence here I am , pushing shit for shits sake, to make shit happen, for my own shit purpose, for a shit PM that runs a shit country! Easy goes, it is all in “good hands”.

  60. Claris Moses 60

    Fly in. Fly out.

  61. NZ Jester 61

    Key laughs at the fact nature has delivered him another another great photo opportunity while the deputy leader of National eyes the spot in his back he is thinking about inserting his knife should the opportunity arrive for him to try for the top spot as leader of the National Party!

  62. emergency mike 62

    “You see Gerry, every natural disaster is an easy photo-op win. Just remember to grin at the camera like an idiot, the munters love it. You gonna get a broom and help or just standing there laughing at the absurdity of it? Yes of course I’m joking. Excuse me Miss? Can you pour a bucket of water here please, it doesn’t look wet enough.”

  63. the pigman 63

    Unidentified golfer mishandles croquet mallet; human hoop pulls derp face in response.

  64. The Real Matthew 64

    Key sweeps Labour aside to win Election

  65. Redzone 65

    Two unidentified politicians rush to yet another Christchurch crisis for yet another photo op. Wish they’d just piss off!

  66. red blooded 66

    Hey, no worries – after so many years in the National Party I’m used to being surrounded by this stuff. This is nothing: most of the time I have to push it uphill!

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • EV road user charges bill passes
    Transport Minister Simeon Brown has welcomed the passing of legislation to move light electric vehicles (EVs) and plug-in hybrid electric vehicles (PHEVs) into the road user charges system from 1 April.  “It was always intended that EVs and PHEVs would be exempt from road user charges until they reached two ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 hours ago
  • Bill targets illegal, unregulated fishing in international waters
    New Zealand is strengthening its ability to combat illegal fishing outside its domestic waters and beef up regulation for its own commercial fishers in international waters through a Bill which had its first reading in Parliament today. The Fisheries (International Fishing and Other Matters) Amendment Bill 2023 sets out stronger ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 hours ago
  • Reserve Bank appointments
    Economists Carl Hansen and Professor Prasanna Gai have been appointed to the Reserve Bank Monetary Policy Committee, Finance Minister Nicola Willis announced today. The Monetary Policy Committee (MPC) is the independent decision-making body that sets the Official Cash Rate which determines interest rates.  Carl Hansen, the executive director of Capital ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 hours ago
  • Stronger protections for apartment owners
    Apartment owners and buyers will soon have greater protections as further changes to the law on unit titles come into effect, Housing Minister Chris Bishop says. “The Unit Titles (Strengthening Body Corporate Governance and Other Matters) Amendment Act had already introduced some changes in December 2022 and May 2023, and ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    9 hours ago
  • Travel focused on traditional partners and Middle East
    Foreign Minister Winston Peters will travel to Egypt and Europe from this weekend.    “This travel will focus on a range of New Zealand’s traditional diplomatic and security partnerships while enabling broad engagement on the urgent situation in Gaza,” Mr Peters says.   Mr Peters will attend the NATO Foreign ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    9 hours ago
  • Keep safe on our roads this Easter
    Transport Minister Simeon Brown is encouraging all road users to stay safe, plan their journeys ahead of time, and be patient with other drivers while travelling around this Easter long weekend. “Road safety is a responsibility we all share, and with increased traffic on our roads expected this Easter we ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    12 hours ago
  • Cost of living support for over 1.4 million Kiwis
    About 1.4 million New Zealanders will receive cost of living relief through increased government assistance from April 1 909,000 pensioners get a boost to Superannuation, including 5000 veterans 371,000 working-age beneficiaries will get higher payments 45,000 students will see an increase in their allowance Over a quarter of New Zealanders ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    12 hours ago
  • Tenancy reviews for social housing restart
    Ensuring social housing is being provided to those with the greatest needs is front of mind as the Government restarts social housing tenancy reviews, Associate Housing Minister Tama Potaka says. “Our relentless focus on building a strong economy is to ensure we can deliver better public services such as social ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    12 hours ago
  • Kermadec Ocean Sanctuary plan halted
    The Kermadec Ocean Sanctuary will not go ahead, with Cabinet deciding to stop work on the proposed reserve and remove the Bill that would have established it from Parliament’s order paper. “The Kermadec Ocean Sanctuary Bill would have created a 620,000 sq km economic no-go zone,” Oceans and Fisheries Minister ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    13 hours ago
  • Cutting all that dam red tape
    Dam safety regulations are being amended so that smaller dams won’t be subject to excessive compliance costs, Minister for Building and Construction Chris Penk says. “The coalition Government is focused on reducing costs and removing unnecessary red tape so we can get the economy back on track.  “Dam safety regulations ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    13 hours ago
  • Drought support extended to parts of North Island
    The coalition Government is expanding the medium-scale adverse event classification to parts of the North Island as dry weather conditions persist, Agriculture Minister Todd McClay announced today. “I have made the decision to expand the medium-scale adverse event classification already in place for parts of the South Island to also cover the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    15 hours ago
  • Passage of major tax bill welcomed
    The passing of legislation giving effect to coalition Government tax commitments has been welcomed by Finance Minister Nicola Willis.  “The Taxation (Annual Rates for 2023–24, Multinational Tax, and Remedial Matters) Bill will help place New Zealand on a more secure economic footing, improve outcomes for New Zealanders, and make our tax system ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Lifting economy through science, tertiary sectors
    Science, Innovation and Technology Minister Judith Collins and Tertiary Education and Skills Minister Penny Simmonds today announced plans to transform our science and university sectors to boost the economy. Two advisory groups, chaired by Professor Sir Peter Gluckman, will advise the Government on how these sectors can play a greater ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Government announces Budget priorities
    The Budget will deliver urgently-needed tax relief to hard-working New Zealanders while putting the government’s finances back on a sustainable track, Finance Minister Nicola Willis says.  The Finance Minister made the comments at the release of the Budget Policy Statement setting out the Government’s Budget objectives. “The coalition Government intends ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Government to consider accommodation solution
    The coalition Government will look at options to address a zoning issue that limits how much financial support Queenstown residents can get for accommodation. Cabinet has agreed on a response to the Petitions Committee, which had recommended the geographic information MSD uses to determine how much accommodation supplement can be ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Government approves extension to Royal Commission of Inquiry into Abuse in Care
    Cabinet has agreed to a short extension to the final reporting timeframe for the Royal Commission into Abuse in Care from 28 March 2024 to 26 June 2024, Internal Affairs Minister Brooke van Velden says.                                         “The Royal Commission wrote to me on 16 February 2024, requesting that I consider an ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • $18m boost for Kiwis travelling to health treatment
    The coalition Government is delivering an $18 million boost to New Zealanders needing to travel for specialist health treatment, Health Minister Dr Shane Reti says.   “These changes are long overdue – the National Travel Assistance (NTA) scheme saw its last increase to mileage and accommodation rates way back in 2009.  ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • PM’s Prizes for Space to showcase sector’s talent
    The Government is recognising the innovative and rising talent in New Zealand’s growing space sector, with the Prime Minister and Space Minister Judith Collins announcing the new Prime Minister’s Prizes for Space today. “New Zealand has a growing reputation as a high-value partner for space missions and research. I am ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Concerns conveyed to China over cyber activity
    Foreign Minister Winston Peters has confirmed New Zealand’s concerns about cyber activity have been conveyed directly to the Chinese Government.     “The Prime Minister and Minister Collins have expressed concerns today about malicious cyber activity, attributed to groups sponsored by the Chinese Government, targeting democratic institutions in both New ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Independent Reviewers appointed for School Property Inquiry
    Independent Reviewers appointed for School Property Inquiry Education Minister Erica Stanford today announced the appointment of three independent reviewers to lead the Ministerial Inquiry into the Ministry of Education’s School Property Function.  The Inquiry will be led by former Minister of Foreign Affairs Murray McCully. “There is a clear need ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Brynderwyns open for Easter
    State Highway 1 across the Brynderwyns will be open for Easter weekend, with work currently underway to ensure the resilience of this critical route being paused for Easter Weekend to allow holiday makers to travel north, Transport Minister Simeon Brown says. “Today I visited the Brynderwyn Hills construction site, where ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Speech to the Infrastructure Funding & Financing Conference
    Introduction Good morning to you all, and thanks for having me bright and early today. I am absolutely delighted to be the Minister for Infrastructure alongside the Minister of Housing and Resource Management Reform. I know the Prime Minister sees the three roles as closely connected and he wants me ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Parliamentary network breached by the PRC
    New Zealand stands with the United Kingdom in its condemnation of People’s Republic of China (PRC) state-backed malicious cyber activity impacting its Electoral Commission and targeting Members of the UK Parliament. “The use of cyber-enabled espionage operations to interfere with democratic institutions and processes anywhere is unacceptable,” Minister Responsible for ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • NZ to provide support for Solomon Islands election
    Foreign Minister Winston Peters and Defence Minister Judith Collins today announced New Zealand will provide logistics support for the upcoming Solomon Islands election. “We’re sending a team of New Zealand Defence Force personnel and two NH90 helicopters to provide logistics support for the election on 17 April, at the request ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • NZ-EU FTA gains Royal Assent for 1 May entry to force
    The European Union Free Trade Agreement Legislation Amendment Bill received Royal Assent today, completing the process for New Zealand’s ratification of its free trade agreement with the European Union.    “I am pleased to announce that today, in a small ceremony at the Beehive, New Zealand notified the European Union ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • COVID-19 inquiry attracts 11,000 submissions
    Public consultation on the terms of reference for the Royal Commission into COVID-19 Lessons has concluded, Internal Affairs Minister Hon Brooke van Velden says.  “I have been advised that there were over 11,000 submissions made through the Royal Commission’s online consultation portal.” Expanding the scope of the Royal Commission of ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Families to receive up to $75 a week help with ECE fees
    Hardworking families are set to benefit from a new credit to help them meet their early childcare education (ECE) costs, Finance Minister Nicola Willis says. From 1 July, parents and caregivers of young children will be supported to manage the rising cost of living with a partial reimbursement of their ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Unlocking a sustainable, low-emissions future
    A specialised Independent Technical Advisory Group (ITAG) tasked with preparing and publishing independent non-binding advice on the design of a "green" (sustainable finance) taxonomy rulebook is being established, Climate Change Minister Simon Watts says.  “Comprising experts and market participants, the ITAG's primary goal is to deliver comprehensive recommendations to the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Chief of Army thanked for his service
    Defence Minister Judith Collins has thanked the Chief of Army, Major General John Boswell, DSD, for his service as he leaves the Army after 40 years. “I would like to thank Major General Boswell for his contribution to the Army and the wider New Zealand Defence Force, undertaking many different ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Minister to meet Australian counterparts and Manufacturing Industry Leaders
    25 March 2024 Minister to meet Australian counterparts and Manufacturing Industry Leaders Small Business, Manufacturing, Commerce and Consumer Affairs Minister Andrew Bayly will travel to Australia for a series of bi-lateral meetings and manufacturing visits. During the visit, Minister Bayly will meet with his Australian counterparts, Senator Tim Ayres, Ed ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Government commits nearly $3 million for period products in schools
    Government commits almost $3 million for period products in schools The Coalition Government has committed $2.9 million to ensure intermediate and secondary schools continue providing period products to those who need them, Minister of Education Erica Stanford announced today. “This is an issue of dignity and ensuring young women don’t ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Speech – Making it easier to build.
    Good morning, it’s great to be here.   First, I would like to acknowledge the New Zealand Institute of Building Surveyors and thank you for the opportunity to be here this morning.  I would like to use this opportunity to outline the Government’s ambitious plan and what we hope to ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Pacific youth to shine from boost to Polyfest
    Minister for Pacific Peoples Dr Shane Reti has announced the Government’s commitment to the Auckland Secondary Schools Māori and Pacific Islands Cultural Festival, more commonly known as Polyfest. “The Ministry for Pacific Peoples is a longtime supporter of Polyfest and, as it celebrates 49 years in 2024, I’m proud to ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • 2024 Ngarimu VC and 28th (Māori) Battalion Memorial Scholarships announced
    ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Speech to Breast Cancer Foundation – Insights Conference
    Before moving onto the substance of today’s address, I want to recognise the very significant and ongoing contribution the Breast Cancer Foundation makes to support the lives of New Zealand women and their families living with breast cancer. I very much enjoy working with you. I also want to recognise ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Kiwi research soars to International Space Station
    New Zealand has notched up a first with the launch of University of Canterbury research to the International Space Station, Science, Innovation and Technology and Space Minister Judith Collins says. The hardware, developed by Dr Sarah Kessans, is designed to operate autonomously in orbit, allowing scientists on Earth to study ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Speech to the New Zealand Planning Institute
    Introduction Thank you for inviting me to speak with you today and I’m sorry I can’t be there in person. Yesterday I started in Wellington for Breakfast TV, spoke to a property conference in Auckland, and finished the day speaking to local government in Christchurch, so it would have been ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Support for Northland emergency response centre
    The Coalition Government is contributing more than $1 million to support the establishment of an emergency multi-agency coordination centre in Northland. Emergency Management and Recovery Minister Mark Mitchell announced the contribution today during a visit of the Whangārei site where the facility will be constructed.  “Northland has faced a number ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Celebrating 20 years of Whakaata Māori
    New Zealanders have enjoyed a broader range of voices telling the story of Aotearoa thanks to the creation of Whakaata Māori 20 years ago, says Māori Development Minister Tama Potaka. The minister spoke at a celebration marking the national indigenous media organisation’s 20th anniversary at their studio in Auckland on ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • Some commercial fishery catch limits increased
    Commercial catch limits for some fisheries have been increased following a review showing stocks are healthy and abundant, Ocean and Fisheries Minister Shane Jones says. The changes, along with some other catch limit changes and management settings, begin coming into effect from 1 April 2024. "Regular biannual reviews of fish ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago

Page generated in The Standard by Wordpress at 2024-03-28T09:26:03+00:00