Written By: notices and features - Date published: 2:42 pm, April 4th, 2014 - 95 comments
Categories: caption contest, humour -
“3 sticks to bash benes with”
Three harmless nutters and a dangerous sociopath.
Bennett’s office staff pose with remnants of the ladder she pulled up behind her.
clapping both of yours….
I caught these 3 over-paid beneficiaries trying to fly under the radar, out of NZ.
Three wizards and one witch.
Minister announces extension of policy cancelling benefits for overseas travellers to those travelling by broomstick.
Budget cuts to Diplomatic Protection Squad have adverse affect on Ministerial Security
I make as much sense as these guys, but my spells really stuff with poor peoples lives!
The Minister of Social Development and her closest advisers.
National sends feelers out to Wizard Party for co-alition negotiations
Green Party representatives in their formal wear, share with Paula Bennett their economic policy.
“No, you fucking idiots, I said you’ll need an innocent sacrifice!”
Tutor and government minister, Paula Bennett poses with the first graduates of the inaugural Masters course in the ‘Dark Arts of Capitalism’ at the University of Auckland.
“I am the future of NZ – have handbag and my own personal diplomatic protection squad!”
Eye of Newt and spleen of Sharnelle: beneficiary organ harvesting discussion group meets to consider strategies.
this kernel of truth.
SCENE I. A cavern. In the middle, a boiling cauldron.
Thunder. Enter the three Witches
Thrice the brinded cat hath mew’d.
Thrice and once the hedge-pig whined.
Harpier cries ‘Tis time, ’tis time.
Thunder. Enter the Wizard of Christchurch
Wizard of Christchurch
Sex is not for men at all! Sex is for women!
The only men who like sex are HOMOSEXUALS! OR TEENAGERS! OR AMERICANS! …..
The Witches of Westwick
Wicked Witch of the West and 3 dudes dressed like wizards.
Each of the houses was represented by a Hogwarts graduate.
Pick the Slytherin representative.
do go on…
“They told me it was mufti day”
I never had sex with that woman!
We’ ll pop this foul bubble
If Bad12 says so much as a word, I’ll chin him.
Lol. Not a trough in sight, so she’ll be right.
what does jay leno have to do with it?
TV3 reports no conflict of interest over ministers flying visit to Hogwarts
National Party social policy workshop no.7
Paula: “My handbag gave me just quarter of an acid tab and now Johnnie Steven and Bill are just amazingly bearded.”
Junior wizards receive C- for “Demon Summoning” assignment, while the Wizard of Christchurch is annoyed at effect that this will have on his National Standards scorecard.
Third wizard has yet to realise that the knob has just fallen off his staff.
September 20th you say – you’ll never guess what I’ve got up my sleeve….
Wizards with staves finally locate missing knob.
They’re here too, HELP!?
“Miramar homicide: Police searching for witch costume.” -Herald.
Who is the REAL wizard, who are the pretend wizards? ….and why is THAT woman with them?
Real WIZARD to himself…”OMG how did I get here with this rum lot?!”.
Question:..which one is the REAL wizard?
I think the one with the orange cardigan is the WICKED WITCH of the NACT WEST
“Sorry, when someone said there was a queue for people who need to learn spelling, John told me to sign up so he wouldn’t have to keep drawing me pictures.”
The cops are looking for costumes like those!!!
Identity parade for beneficiary bashing case.
The victim identified the assailant as the hirsute individual in black, second from the right.
The handbag? No, I’m not trying to send a message to the PM.
Fake smile spell works well on the mean-spirited Thatcherite holding the oversized handbag/beneficiary body bag.
PB: ” National has an evidence-based social and economic policy”
PB: “This is such an important meeting I brought along 3 Treasury advisors”
I told you it would take at least 3 wizards to turn her into a frog!
Breaking News: Voldemort Survives the Deathly Hallows!
Three of them have dicks
The other one is a dick
All four grow facial hair
But only one shaves
The men are wearing dresses
The witch is wearing pants
This handbag is made from the foreskins of my enemies!
The 3 most powerful wizards of Aotearoa cannot stop me!!
Now smile for the camera like good little boys or your souls are mine AHAAHAHAAAAA
Bene bashing bitch turns up at witches conference instead of bitches conference.
Three works of Art and one piece of work.
If only I could get these three to replace Key, English and Joyce, then I could fight it out to be leader against Parata and Collins in the Battle of the (hand) Bags.
Bennett “They’re the only friends I’ve got”
Paula benebasher highers new “staff” to demonize beneficeries.
Bennett bene basher shows off new ” staff “member to her left his rod hasn’t been broken in like the other 2 .
Bennett says new carrot and stick approach to welfare their will be a lot more stick and less carrot.
Like Orange is the new Black dearies.
Paula steels wizards thunder downunder
Another spelling mistake on The Standard…
Bennett…”Jezzus, They told me that smoking & inhaling that synthetic cannabis, has no effects…..Oh well I better try a proper toke on the joint…..and the witches will go”
Blimey!since we privatised Air New Zealand, they have really come on, I do like the new staff uniforms”
The patients of cheapo cosmetic surgery pose for group photo
“Has anyone seen Karol?”
Paula would of had her own staff…but she lost it by shuving it through the heart of a single mother on benefits.
GOD!!!!! I know I said I needed body guards but when I said come undercover……………..
Pb, “Is this really what happens when you lose yr virginity and sell yr soul”?
Pete George (wizard.. far left) hoped the cunning disguise would hold good.Otherwise his latest switch of allegiance would become apparent.
Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble!
More stick, less carrot. With Rogering Sticks at the ready WINZ staff sport their latest weapons used in the “War On Bennies.” Minister refuses to reveal what she did with hers. . .
In spite of what other people said…PB thought her evening at the speed dating was a stunning success.
Bennett cannot hold her glee as three senior national cabinet ministers fall for the old, “It’s mufti day tomorrow” trick.
First wizard to other wizards.
“Have we disappeared her⁉
Nah, she’s still here.
Bugger, must-have the weight to spell ratio wrong.
Needs the triple whammy.
First wizard to other wizards…..Look Lads..Its my fooking stag night!!….I may be half pissed…Yet even I can see, that’s she a cheap stripper/lap dancer…You could of spent a few more bucks couldn’t you?You cheap bastards!!!…
The four men of the apocalypse arrived at Auckland International Airport on a fact finding tour ..Unfortunately one had forgotten its uniform…
3rd wizard to other wizards, look I told you fellas.We cant take the dog on the flight..That will never get past customs.
Ms Bennett was introduced to her new outsourced, under minimum wage, privatised, team of cleaners for her ministerial office.
2nd Wizard from Left..”You have no idea what I am doing with my left hand… all I can say is its stuck and I can’t get it out….HELP!”
Paula Dildo salesmen, tried to look happy in their newly found WINZ assisted jobs.
Paula commented..”Now that’s what I call real economic growth!”
Any smile, you can smile I can do better. Compliments of the taxpayers of course.!!!!
The pinata at this year’s surprise Beneficieries Bash Back gala didn’t suspect a thing…
Somewhere In Deepest Middle Wellington.
Centre Wizard To Wizard On Right.
“That’s Its Lprent, I Have Had ENOUGH
This Is The Bloody Third Time This Week You Have Directed Us To The Wrong Destination!
Oh Its Always Excuses With You Lprent Isnt It?
The Broom Sat Nav Is Not Working Properly,
You Need To Go To Another Appointment At Specsavers,
You Put Regular Instead of UnLeaded In The Broomsticks,
Well Enough is Enough!
When We Get Back To The Witch Academy Your Busted To An Elf!
This Is NOT FOOKING KANSAS!
This Tub Of Lard That’s Attached Itself To Me ISN’T BLOODY DOROTHY!
Also That Dog You Ate Whole, WAS NOT FRIGGIN TOTO! It Was A Passing Guide Dog YOU MORON!”
“Ok Mickey We Are Gonna Have To Get The Fook Out Of Here,
On The Count Of 3,,, Tell The Devils Own Tub Of Lard,
That You Smell The Scent Of First Born Babies Being Cooked Coming From The Keys Office,?
When She Starts To Foam At Mouth And Takes Off, Run Like Fook To The Taxi Rank?
We Will Meet You There…Its Ok Lprent Is Paying!
Lets Do This Thing!
1, 2, 3!”
Professor Umbridge and the Ministry of Magic
The new Washington Wizards fan club with Voo Doo Mama. drmrs 4/10/2014