Caption Competition
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2:42 pm, April 4th, 2014 - 95 comments
Categories: caption contest, humour -
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95 comments on “Caption Competition ”
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- “That's how I roll”
It's hard times try to make a livingYou wake up every morning in the unforgivingOut there somewhere in the cityThere's people living lives without mercy or pityI feel good, yeah I'm feeling fineI feel better then I have for the longest timeI think these pills have been good for meI ...3 hours ago - “Comity” versus the rule of law
In 1974, the US Supreme Court issued its decision in United States v. Nixon, finding that the President was not a King, but was subject to the law and was required to turn over the evidence of his wrongdoing to the courts. It was a landmark decision for the rule ...10 hours ago - Aotearoa: a live lab for failed Right-wing socio-economic zombie experiments once more…
Every day now just seems to bring in more fresh meat for the grinder. In their relentlessly ideological drive to cut back on the “excessive bloat” (as they see it) of the previous Labour-led government, on the mountains of evidence accumulated in such a short period of time do not ...14 hours ago - Water is at the heart of farmers’ struggle to survive in Benin
This is a re-post from Yale Climate Connections by Megan Valére Sosou Market gardening site of the Itchèléré de Itagui agricultural cooperative in Dassa-Zoumè (Image credit: Megan Valère Sossou) For the residents of Dassa-Zoumè, a city in the West African country of Benin, choosing between drinking water and having enough ...17 hours ago - At a time of media turmoil, Melissa had nothing to proclaim as Minister – and now she has been dem...
Buzz from the Beehive
Melissa Lee – as may be discerned from the screenshot above – has not been demoted for doing something seriously wrong as Minister of ... 19 hours ago - These people are not our friends
Morning in London Mother hugs beloved daughter outside the converted shoe factory in which she is living.Afternoon in London Travelling writer takes himself and his wrist down to A&E, just to be sure. Read more ...20 hours ago - Some advice from our tertiary history for the University Advisory Group
Mike Grimshaw writes – The recent announcement of the University Advisory Group, chaired by Sir Peter Gluckman, makes very clear where the Government’s focus and priorities lie. The remit of the Advisory Group is that Group members will consider challenges and opportunities for improvement in the university sector including: ...22 hours ago - Still no prudential regulation case around climate changeEric Crampton writes – The Reserve Bank of New Zealand desperately wants to find reasons to have workstreams in climate change. It makes little sense. They’ve run another stress test on the banks looking to see if they could find a prudential regulation case. They couldn’t. They ...23 hours ago
- Bernard’s pick ‘n’ mix of the news links for Wednesday, April 24
TL;DR: These six news links stood out to me in the last 24 hours or so onWednesday, April 23:Scoop: 'Released in error': Treasury paper hints at axing $6b flood resilience plan by NZ Herald-$$$ Thomas CoughlanScoop: EY launches new misconduct review amid Fonterra ban. Fonterra tells EY to remove some ...23 hours ago - How National can neutralise serious allegations of corruption should the “Fast Track” Bill becom...Rob MacCullough writes – Pundits from the left and the right are arguing that National’s Fast Track Bill that is designed to speed up infrastructure decisions could end up becoming mired in a cesspool of corruption. Political commentator ...1 day ago
- Cleaning Up After Gabrielle.
Looking at the headlines this morning it’s hard to feel anything other than pessimistic about the future of humanity.Note that I’m not speaking about the future of mankind, but the survival of our humanity. The values that we believe in seem to be ebbing away, by the day.Perhaps every generation ...1 day ago - Gordon Campbell on bird flu, AUKUS entry fees and Cindy Lee
Swabbing mixed breed baby chicks to test for avian influenzaUh oh. Bird flu – often deadly to humans – is not only being transmitted from infected birds to dairy cows, but is now travelling between dairy cows. As of last Friday, Bloomberg News reports, there were 32 American dairy herds ...1 day ago - Tolling Existing Roads
One of the government’s transport policy and agreements with it’s coalition partners made it clear that they were looking at options like tolling and road pricing. This was reinforced in it’s draft Government Policy Statement released at the start of March which made a couple of references to it. Road pricing, ...1 day ago - At a glance – The difference between weather and climateOn February 14, 2023 we announced our Rebuttal Update Project. This included an ask for feedback about the added "At a glance" section in the updated basic rebuttal versions. This weekly blog post series highlights this new section of one of the updated basic rebuttal versions and serves as a ...2 days ago
- More criminal minersWhat is it with the mining industry? Its not enough for them to pillage the earth - they apparently can't even be bothered getting resource consent to do so: The proponent behind a major mine near the Clutha River had already been undertaking activity in the area without a ...2 days ago
- Photos from the road
Photo # 1 I am a huge fan of Singapore’s approach to housing, as described here two years ago by copying and pasting from The ConversationWhat Singapore has that Australia does not is a public housing developer, the Housing Development Board, which puts new dwellings on public and reclaimed land, ...2 days ago - RMA reforms aim to ease stock-grazing rules and reduce farmers’ costs – but Taxpayers’ Union w...Buzz from the Beehive Reactions to news of the government’s readiness to make urgent changes to “the resource management system” through a Bill to amend the Resource Management Act (RMA) suggest a balanced approach is being taken. The Taxpayers’ Union says the proposed changes don’t go far enough. Greenpeace says ...2 days ago
- Luxon Strikes Out.
I’m starting to wonder if Anna Burns-Francis might be the best political interviewer we’ve got. That might sound unlikely to you, it came as a bit of a surprise to me.Jack Tame can be excellent, but has some pretty average days. I like Rebecca Wright on Newshub, she asks good ...2 days ago - In many ways the media that the experts wanted, turned out to be the media they have gotChris Trotter writes – Willie Jackson is said to be planning a “media summit” to discuss “the state of the media and how to protect Fourth Estate Journalism”. Not only does the Editor of The Daily Blog, Martyn Bradbury, think this is a good idea, but he has also ...2 days ago
- The Waitangi Tribunal Summons; or the more things stay the sameGraeme Edgeler writes – This morning [April 21], the Wellington High Court is hearing a judicial review brought by Hon. Karen Chhour, the Minister for Children, against a decision of the Waitangi Tribunal. This is unusual, judicial reviews are much more likely to brought against ministers, rather than ...2 days ago
- Both Parliamentary watchdogs hammer Fast-track bill
Both of Parliament’s watchdogs have now ripped into the Government’s Fast-track Approvals Bill. Photo: Lynn Grieveson / The KākāMy pick of the six newsey things to know from Aotearoa’s political economy and beyond on the morning of Tuesday, April 23 are:The Lead: The Auditor General, John Ryan, has joined the ...2 days ago - India makes a big bet on electric busesThis is a re-post from Yale Climate Connections by Sarah Spengeman People wait to board an electric bus in Pune, India. (Image credit: courtesy of ITDP) Public transportation riders in Pune, India, love the city’s new electric buses so much they will actually skip an older diesel bus that ...2 days ago
- Bernard’s pick ‘n’ mix of the news links at 6:36am on Tuesday, April 23
TL;DR: These six news links stood out in the last 24 hours to 6:36am on Tuesday, April 22:Scoop & Deep Dive: How Sir Peter Jackson got to have his billion-dollar exit cake and eat Hollywood too NZ Herald-$$$ Matt NippertFast Track Approval Bill: Watchdogs seek substantial curbs on ministers' powers ...2 days ago - What is really holding up infrastructureThe infrastructure industry yesterday issued a “hurry up” message to the Government, telling it to get cracking on developing a pipeline of infrastructure projects.The hiatus around the change of Government has seen some major projects cancelled and others delayed, and there is uncertainty about what will happen with the new ...2 days ago
- “Pure Unadulterated Charge”
Hi,Over the weekend I revisited a podcast I really adore, Dead Eyes. It’s about a guy who got fired from Band of Brothers over two decades ago because Tom Hanks said he had “dead eyes”.If you don’t recall — 2001’s Band of Brothers was part of the emerging trend of ...2 days ago - Bernard's six-stack of substacks for Monday, April 22
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- Just trying to stay upright
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- The Government’s new fast-track invitation to corruption
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- All the Green Tech in China.
Sunday was a lazy day. I started watching Jack Tame on Q&A, the interviews are usually good for something to write about. Saying the things that the politicians won’t, but are quite possibly thinking. Things that are true and need to be extracted from between the lines.As you might know ...3 days ago - Western Express SuccessIn our Weekly Roundup last week we covered news from Auckland Transport that the WX1 Western Express is going to get an upgrade next year with double decker electric buses. As part of the announcement, AT also said “Since we introduced the WX1 Western Express last November we have seen ...3 days ago
- Bernard’s pick ‘n’ mix of the news links at 7:16am on Monday, April 22
TL;DR: These six news links stood out in the last 24 hours to 7:16am on Monday, April 22:Labour says Kiwis at greater risk from loan sharks as Govt plans to remove borrowing regulations NZ Herald Jenee TibshraenyHow did the cost of moving two schools blow out to more than $400m?A ...3 days ago - The Kaka’s diary for the week to April 29 and beyond
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- The Folly Of Impermanence.
“You talking about me?” The neoliberal denigration of the past was nowhere more unrelenting than in its depiction of the public service. The Post Office and the Railways were held up as being both irremediably inefficient and scandalously over-manned. Playwright Roger Hall’s “Glide Time” caricatures were presented as accurate depictions of ...5 days ago - A crisis of ambitionRoger Partridge writes – When the Coalition Government took office last October, it inherited a country on a precipice. With persistent inflation, decades of insipid productivity growth and crises in healthcare, education, housing and law and order, it is no exaggeration to suggest New Zealand’s first-world status was ...5 days ago
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- The Bank of our Tamariki and Mokopuna.
Monday left me brokenTuesday, I was through with hopingWednesday, my empty arms were openThursday, waiting for love, waiting for loveThe end of another week that left many of us asking WTF? What on earth has NZ gotten itself into and how on earth could people have voluntarily signed up for ...5 days ago - The worth of it all
Hello! Here comes the Saturday edition of More Than A Feilding, catching you up on the past week’s editions.State of humanity, 20242024, it feels, keeps presenting us with ever more challenges, ever more dismay.Do you give up yet? It seems to ask.No? How about this? Or this?How about this?Full story Share ...5 days ago - What is the Hardest Sport in the World?Determining the hardest sport in the world is a subjective matter, as the difficulty level can vary depending on individual abilities, physical attributes, and experience. However, based on various factors including physical demands, technical skills, mental fortitude, and overall accomplishment, here is an exploration of some of the most challenging ...5 days ago
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- Release: Working together on consistent support for veterans this Anzac Day
Our two-tiered system for veterans’ support is out of step with our closest partners, and all parties in Parliament should work together to fix it, Labour veterans’ affairs spokesperson Greg O’Connor said. ...20 hours ago - Release: Penny drops – but what about Seymour and Peters?Stripping two Ministers of their portfolios just six months into the job shows Christopher Luxon’s management style is lacking, Labour Leader Chris Hipkins said. ...21 hours ago
- Release: Budget blunder shows Nicola Willis could cut recovery fundingIt appears Nicola Willis is about to pull the rug out from under the feet of local communities still dealing with the aftermath of last year’s severe weather, and local councils relying on funding to build back from these disasters. ...2 days ago
- Further environmental mismanagement on the cards
The Government’s resource management reforms will add to the heavy and ever-growing burden this Government is loading on to our environment. ...2 days ago - Release: RMA changes will be a disaster for environmentThe Government is making short-sighted changes to the Resource Management Act (RMA) that will take away environmental protection in favour of short-term profits, Labour’s environment spokesperson Rachel Brooking said today. ...2 days ago
- Release: Labour supports urgent changes to emergency management systemLabour welcomes the release of the report into the North Island weather events and looks forward to working with the Government to ensure that New Zealand is as prepared as it can be for the next natural disaster. ...2 days ago
- Release: Labour calls for New Zealand to recognise PalestineThe Labour Party has called for the New Zealand Government to recognise Palestine, as a material step towards progressing the two-State solution needed to achieve a lasting peace in the region. ...3 days ago
- Release: Three strikes law political posturing of worst kindThe Government is bringing back a law that has little evidential backing just to look tough, Labour justice spokesperson Duncan Webb said. ...3 days ago
- Release: Government cuts unbelievably target child exploitation, violent extremism, ports and airpor...Some of our country’s most important work, stopping the sexual exploitation of children and violent extremism could go along with staff on the frontline at ports and airports. ...3 days ago
- Three strikes has failed before and will fail againResurrecting the archaic three-strikes legislation is an unwelcome return to a failed American-style approach to justice. ...3 days ago
- Release: Environmental protection vital, not ‘onerous’The Government’s Fast Track Approvals Bill will give projects such as new coal mines a ‘get out of jail free’ card to wreak havoc on the environment, Labour Leader Chris Hipkins said today. ...3 days ago
- Release: Govt cuts doctors and nurses in hiring freezeCuts to frontline hospital staff are not only a broken election promise, it shows the reckless tax cuts have well and truly hit the frontline of the health system, says Labour Health spokesperson Ayesha Verrall. ...6 days ago
- Fast-track submissions period must be extendedThe Green Party has joined the call for public submissions on the fast-track legislation to be extended after the Ombudsman forced the Government to release the list of organisations invited to apply just hours before submissions close. ...6 days ago
- Release: Progress on climate will be undone by GovtNew Zealand’s good work at reducing climate emissions for three years in a row will be undone by the National government’s lack of ambition and scrapping programmes that were making a difference, Labour Party climate spokesperson Megan Woods said today. ...6 days ago
- Release: Dark day for Kiwi kids as a third of Govt cuts affect themNews that 1000 jobs at the Ministry of Education and Oranga Tamariki could go is devastating for future generations of New Zealanders. ...1 week ago
- Release: Alarm as Government signals further blow to school lunchesMore essential jobs could be on the chopping block, this time Ministry of Education staff on the school lunches team are set to find out whether they're in line to lose their jobs. ...1 week ago
- Release: Quick, submit – stop Govt’s dodgy approvals billThe Government is trying to bring in a law that will allow Ministers to cut corners and kill off native species, Labour environment spokesperson Rachel Brooking said. ...1 week ago
- Government throws coal on the climate crisis fireThe Government’s policy announced today to ease consenting for coal mining will have a lasting impact across generations. ...1 week ago
- Release: Public transport costs to double as National looks at unaffordable roading project insteadCancelling urgently needed new Cook Strait ferries and hiking the cost of public transport for many Kiwis so that National can announce the prospect of another tunnel for Wellington is not making good choices, Labour Transport Spokesperson Tangi Utikere said. ...1 week ago
- Release: Cost of living in Auckland still not a priorityA laundry list of additional costs for Tāmaki Makarau Auckland shows the Minister for the city is not delivering for the people who live there, says Labour Auckland Issues spokesperson Shanan Halbert. ...1 week ago
- Greens look to fast-track submissions on harmful lawThe Green Party has today launched a step-by-step guide to help New Zealanders make their voice heard on the Government’s democracy dodging and anti-environment fast track legislation. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Govt should stop making people’s lives harder and build more homesThe National Government’s proposed changes to the Residential Tenancies Act will mean tenants can be turfed from their homes by landlords with little notice, Labour housing spokesperson Kieran McAnulty said. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Melissa Lee missing in action on mediaThe action Melissa Lee promised to protect democracy and the media sector is missing, Media and Communications spokesperson Willie Jackson said. ...2 weeks ago
- Landlord Government leaves little hope for rentersThe Government’s announcement on tenancy rules prove that it does not care about renters. ...2 weeks ago
- Opportunity to build a more sustainable economyGreen Party co-leader Marama Davidson is calling on all parties to support a common-sense change that’s great for the planet and great for consumers after her member’s bill was drawn from the ballot today. ...2 weeks ago
- Significant step forward in fixing cruel and unjust pastA significant milestone has been reached in the fight to strike an anti-Pasifika and unfair law from the country’s books after Teanau Tuiono’s members’ bill passed its first reading. ...2 weeks ago
- Missed opportunity but NZ will surely one day recognise the right to a sustainable environmentNew Zealand has today missed the opportunity to uphold the right to a clean, healthy, and sustainable environment, says James Shaw after his member’s bill was voted down in its first reading. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Don’t cut our lunches – clear message sent to GovernmentTens of thousands of people are demanding the Government commits to fully funding free and healthy school lunches. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Govt makes U-turn on Suicide Prevention OfficeLabour welcomes the Government’s U-turn on the closure of the Suicide Prevention Office, says Labour Mental Health spokesperson Ingrid Leary. ...2 weeks ago
- CCC issues warning over further climate delayToday’s advice from the Climate Change Commission paints a sobering reality of the challenge we face in combating climate change, especially in light of recent Government policy announcements. ...2 weeks ago
- Luxon targets lame and lousy example of leadershipIf talk is cheap, Chris Luxon’s “targets” are bankrupt. ...2 weeks ago
- Luxon targets are lousy example of leadershipIf talk is cheap, Chris Luxon’s “targets” are bankrupt. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Commitment to disability communities missing from Govt prioritiesMinister for Disability Issues Penny Simmonds appears to have delayed a report back to Cabinet on the progress New Zealand is making against international obligations for disabled New Zealanders. ...2 weeks ago
- Methane target review is dangerous duplicationThe Government’s newly announced review of methane emissions reduction targets hints at its desire to delay Aotearoa New Zealand’s urgent transition to a climate safe future, the Green Party said. ...3 weeks ago
- Release: Government must commit to school building project for disabled studentsThe Government must commit to the Maitai School building project for students with high and complex needs, to ensure disabled students from the top of the South Island have somewhere to learn. ...3 weeks ago
- PM announces changes to portfolios
Paul Goldsmith will take on responsibility for the Media and Communications portfolio, while Louise Upston will pick up the Disability Issues portfolio, Prime Minister Christopher Luxon announced today. “Our Government is relentlessly focused on getting New Zealand back on track. As issues change in prominence, I plan to adjust Ministerial ...23 hours ago - New catch limits for unique fishery areasRecreational catch limits will be reduced in areas of Fiordland and the Chatham Islands to help keep those fisheries healthy and sustainable, Oceans and Fisheries Minister Shane Jones says. The lower recreational daily catch limits for a range of finfish and shellfish species caught in the Fiordland Marine Area and ...1 day ago
- Minister welcomes hydrogen milestoneEnergy Minister Simeon Brown has welcomed an important milestone in New Zealand’s hydrogen future, with the opening of the country’s first network of hydrogen refuelling stations in Wiri. “I want to congratulate the team at Hiringa Energy and its partners K one W one (K1W1), Mitsui & Co New Zealand ...2 days ago
- Urgent changes to system through first RMA Amendment BillThe coalition Government is delivering on its commitment to improve resource management laws and give greater certainty to consent applicants, with a Bill to amend the Resource Management Act (RMA) expected to be introduced to Parliament next month. RMA Reform Minister Chris Bishop has today outlined the first RMA Amendment ...2 days ago
- Overseas decommissioning models consideredOverseas models for regulating the oil and gas sector, including their decommissioning regimes, are being carefully scrutinised as a potential template for New Zealand’s own sector, Resources Minister Shane Jones says. The Coalition Government is focused on rebuilding investor confidence in New Zealand’s energy sector as it looks to strengthen ...2 days ago
- Release of North Island Severe Weather Event InquiryEmergency Management and Recovery Minister Mark Mitchell has today released the Report of the Government Inquiry into the response to the North Island Severe Weather Events. “The report shows that New Zealand’s emergency management system is not fit-for-purpose and there are some significant gaps we need to address,” Mr Mitchell ...2 days ago
- Justice Minister to attend Human Rights CouncilJustice Minister Paul Goldsmith is today travelling to Europe where he’ll update the United Nations Human Rights Council on the Government’s work to restore law and order. “Attending the Universal Periodic Review in Geneva provides us with an opportunity to present New Zealand’s human rights progress, priorities, and challenges, while ...3 days ago
- Patterson reopens world’s largest wool scouring facilityAssociate Agriculture Minister, Mark Patterson, formally reopened the world’s largest wool processing facility today in Awatoto, Napier, following a $50 million rebuild and refurbishment project. “The reopening of this facility will significantly lift the economic opportunities available to New Zealand’s wool sector, which already accounts for 20 per cent of ...3 days ago
- Speech to the Southland Otago Regional Engineering Collective Summit, 18 April 2024Hon Andrew Bayly, Minister for Small Business and Manufacturing At the Southland Otago Regional Engineering Collective (SOREC) Summit, 18 April, Dunedin Ngā mihi nui, Ko Andrew Bayly aho, Ko Whanganui aho Good Afternoon and thank you for inviting me to open your summit today. I am delighted ...3 days ago
- Government to introduce revised Three Strikes lawThe Government is delivering on its commitment to bring back the Three Strikes legislation, Associate Justice Minister Nicole McKee announced today. “Our Government is committed to restoring law and order and enforcing appropriate consequences on criminals. We are making it clear that repeat serious violent or sexual offending is not ...3 days ago
- New diplomatic appointmentsForeign Minister Winston Peters has today announced four new diplomatic appointments for New Zealand’s overseas missions. “Our diplomats have a vital role in maintaining and protecting New Zealand’s interests around the world,” Mr Peters says. “I am pleased to announce the appointment of these senior diplomats from the ...3 days ago
- Humanitarian support for Ethiopia and SomaliaNew Zealand is contributing NZ$7 million to support communities affected by severe food insecurity and other urgent humanitarian needs in Ethiopia and Somalia, Foreign Minister Rt Hon Winston Peters announced today. “Over 21 million people are in need of humanitarian assistance across Ethiopia, with a further 6.9 million people ...3 days ago
- Arts Minister congratulates Mataaho CollectiveMinister for Arts, Culture and Heritage Paul Goldsmith is congratulating Mataaho Collective for winning the Golden Lion for best participant in the main exhibition at the Venice Biennale. "Congratulations to the Mataaho Collective for winning one of the world's most prestigious art prizes at the Venice Biennale. “It is good ...4 days ago
- Supporting better financial outcomes for KiwisThe Government is reforming financial services to improve access to home loans and other lending, and strengthen customer protections, Commerce and Consumer Affairs Minister Andrew Bayly and Housing Minister Chris Bishop announced today. “Our coalition Government is committed to rebuilding the economy and making life simpler by cutting red tape. We are ...4 days ago
- Trade relationship with China remains strong“China remains a strong commercial opportunity for Kiwi exporters as Chinese businesses and consumers continue to value our high-quality safe produce,” Trade and Agriculture Minister Todd McClay says. Mr McClay has returned to New Zealand following visits to Beijing, Harbin and Shanghai where he met ministers, governors and mayors and engaged in trade and agricultural events with the New ...4 days ago
- PM’s South East Asia mission does the businessPrime Minister Christopher Luxon has completed a successful trip to Singapore, Thailand and the Philippines, deepening relationships and capitalising on opportunities. Mr Luxon was accompanied by a business delegation and says the choice of countries represents the priority the New Zealand Government places on South East Asia, and our relationships in ...5 days ago
- $41m to support clean energy in South East AsiaNew Zealand is demonstrating its commitment to reducing global greenhouse emissions, and supporting clean energy transition in South East Asia, through a contribution of NZ$41 million (US$25 million) in climate finance to the Asian Development Bank (ADB)-led Energy Transition Mechanism (ETM). Prime Minister Christopher Luxon and Climate Change Minister Simon Watts announced ...6 days ago
- Minister releases Fast-track stakeholder listThe Government is today releasing a list of organisations who received letters about the Fast-track applications process, says RMA Reform Minister Chris Bishop. “Recently Ministers and agencies have received a series of OIA requests for a list of organisations to whom I wrote with information on applying to have a ...6 days ago
- Judicial appointments announcedAttorney-General Judith Collins today announced the appointment of Wellington Barrister David Jonathan Boldt as a Judge of the High Court, and the Honourable Justice Matthew Palmer as a Judge of the Court of Appeal. Justice Boldt graduated with an LLB from Victoria University of Wellington in 1990, and also holds ...6 days ago
- Education Minister heads to major teaching summit in SingaporeEducation Minister Erica Stanford will lead the New Zealand delegation at the 2024 International Summit on the Teaching Profession (ISTP) held in Singapore. The delegation includes representatives from the Post Primary Teachers’ Association (PPTA) Te Wehengarua and the New Zealand Educational Institute (NZEI) Te Riu Roa. The summit is co-hosted ...6 days ago
- Value of stopbank project proven during cycloneA stopbank upgrade project in Tairawhiti partly funded by the Government has increased flood resilience for around 7000ha of residential and horticultural land so far, Regional Development Minister Shane Jones says. Mr Jones today attended a dawn service in Gisborne to mark the end of the first stage of the ...6 days ago
- Anzac commemorations, Türkiye relationship focus of visitForeign Affairs Minister Winston Peters will represent the Government at Anzac Day commemorations on the Gallipoli Peninsula next week and engage with senior representatives of the Turkish government in Istanbul. “The Gallipoli campaign is a defining event in our history. It will be a privilege to share the occasion ...6 days ago
- Minister to Europe for OECD meeting, Anzac DayScience, Innovation and Technology and Defence Minister Judith Collins will next week attend the OECD Science and Technology Ministerial conference in Paris and Anzac Day commemorations in Belgium. “Science, innovation and technology have a major role to play in rebuilding our economy and achieving better health, environmental and social outcomes ...6 days ago
- Comprehensive Partnership the goal for NZ and the PhilippinesPrime Minister Christopher Luxon held a bilateral meeting today with the President of the Philippines, Ferdinand Marcos Jr. The Prime Minister was accompanied by MP Paulo Garcia, the first Filipino to be elected to a legislature outside the Philippines. During today’s meeting, Prime Minister Luxon and President Marcos Jr discussed opportunities to ...7 days ago
- Government commits $20m to Westport flood protectionThe Government has announced that $20 million in funding will be made available to Westport to fund much needed flood protection around the town. This measure will significantly improve the resilience of the community, says Local Government Minister Simeon Brown. “The Westport community has already been allocated almost $3 million ...7 days ago
- Taupō takes pole positionThe Government is proud to support the first ever Repco Supercars Championship event in Taupō as up to 70,000 motorsport fans attend the Taupō International Motorsport Park this weekend, says Economic Development Minister Melissa Lee. “Anticipation for the ITM Taupō Super400 is huge, with tickets and accommodation selling out weeks ...7 days ago
- Cost of living support for low-income homeownersLocal Government Minister Simeon Brown has announced an increase to the Rates Rebate Scheme, putting money back into the pockets of low-income homeowners. “The coalition Government is committed to bringing down the cost of living for New Zealanders. That includes targeted support for those Kiwis who are doing things tough, such ...7 days ago
- Government backing mussel spat projectThe Coalition Government is investing in a project to boost survival rates of New Zealand mussels and grow the industry, Oceans and Fisheries Minister Shane Jones has announced. “This project seeks to increase the resilience of our mussels and significantly boost the sector’s productivity,” Mr Jones says. “The project - ...7 days ago
- Government focused on getting people into workBenefit figures released today underscore the importance of the Government’s plan to rebuild the economy and have 50,000 fewer people on Jobseeker Support, Social Development and Employment Minister Louise Upston says. “Benefit numbers are still significantly higher than when National was last in government, when there was about 70,000 fewer ...1 week ago
- Clean energy key driver to reducing emissionsThe Government’s commitment to doubling New Zealand’s renewable energy capacity is backed by new data showing that clean energy has helped the country reach its lowest annual gross emissions since 1999, Climate Change Minister Simon Watts says. New Zealand’s latest Greenhouse Gas Inventory (1990-2022) published today, shows gross emissions fell ...1 week ago
- Earthquake-prone buildings review brought forwardThe Government is bringing the earthquake-prone building review forward, with work to start immediately, and extending the deadline for remediations by four years, Building and Construction Minister Chris Penk says. “Our Government is focused on rebuilding the economy. A key part of our plan is to cut red tape that ...1 week ago
- Thailand and NZ to agree to Strategic PartnershipPrime Minister Christopher Luxon and his Thai counterpart, Prime Minister Srettha Thavisin, have today agreed that New Zealand and the Kingdom of Thailand will upgrade the bilateral relationship to a Strategic Partnership by 2026. “New Zealand and Thailand have a lot to offer each other. We have a strong mutual desire to build ...1 week ago
- Government consults on extending coastal permits for portsRMA Reform Minister Chris Bishop and Transport Minister Simeon Brown have today announced the Coalition Government’s intention to extend port coastal permits for a further 20 years, providing port operators with certainty to continue their operations. “The introduction of the Resource Management Act in 1991 required ports to obtain coastal ...1 week ago
- Inflation coming down, but more work to doToday’s announcement that inflation is down to 4 per cent is encouraging news for Kiwis, but there is more work to be done - underlining the importance of the Government’s plan to get the economy back on track, acting Finance Minister Chris Bishop says. “Inflation is now at 4 per ...1 week ago
- School attendance restored as a priority in health adviceRefreshed health guidance released today will help parents and schools make informed decisions about whether their child needs to be in school, addressing one of the key issues affecting school attendance, says Associate Education Minister David Seymour. In recent years, consistently across all school terms, short-term illness or medical reasons ...1 week ago
- Unnecessary bureaucracy cut in oceans sectorOceans and Fisheries Minister Shane Jones is streamlining high-level oceans management while maintaining a focus on supporting the sector’s role in the export-led recovery of the economy. “I am working to realise the untapped potential of our fishing and aquaculture sector. To achieve that we need to be smarter with ...1 week ago
- Patterson promoting NZ’s wool sector at International CongressAssociate Agriculture Minister Mark Patterson is speaking at the International Wool Textile Organisation Congress in Adelaide, promoting New Zealand wool, and outlining the coalition Government’s support for the revitalisation the sector. "New Zealand’s wool exports reached $400 million in the year to 30 June 2023, and the coalition Government ...1 week ago
- Removing red tape to help early learners thriveThe Government is making legislative changes to make it easier for new early learning services to be established, and for existing services to operate, Associate Education Minister David Seymour says. The changes involve repealing the network approval provisions that apply when someone wants to establish a new early learning service, ...1 week ago
- RMA changes to cut coal mining consent red tapeChanges to the Resource Management Act will align consenting for coal mining to other forms of mining to reduce barriers that are holding back economic development, Resources Minister Shane Jones says. “The inconsistent treatment of coal mining compared with other extractive activities is burdensome red tape that fails to acknowledge ...1 week ago
- McClay reaffirms strong NZ-China trade relationshipTrade, Agriculture and Forestry Minister Todd McClay has concluded productive discussions with ministerial counterparts in Beijing today, in support of the New Zealand-China trade and economic relationship. “My meeting with Commerce Minister Wang Wentao reaffirmed the complementary nature of the bilateral trade relationship, with our Free Trade Agreement at its ...1 week ago
- If plastic manufacturing goes up 10%, plastic pollution goes up 10% – and we’re set for a huge ...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Kathryn Willis, Postdoctoral Researcher, CSIRO Xavier Boulenger/Shutterstock In the two decades to 2019, global plastic production doubled. By 2040, plastic manufacturing and processing could consume as much as 20% of global oil production and use up 15% of the annual carbon ...37 mins ago - Governor-General's Anzac Day Dawn Service Address
With our collective remembrance, and steadfast belief in our common humanity, we strengthen our hope and resolve to do what we can to foster dialogue and understanding, and to heal divisions in our pursuit of peace. ...37 mins ago - Angling-Conservation Group Sees Fast Track Bill As UndemocraticPrincipal reasons for the opposition is the loss of the public’s democratic right to have “a fair say” and the vital need for a government free from corruption, said Casey Cravens of Dunedin, president of the New Zealand Federation of Freshwater ...1 hour ago
- Remembering the great TrueBliss vs Bardot national anthem sing-off
Never mind the scoreboard – in the 2000 Bledisloe Cup decider, the real trans-Tasman battle was won before kickoff. First published in 2016. The dawn of the new millennium was a dark time for the All Blacks. Their final game pre-Y2K was a 22-18 loss to South Africa in the ...1 hour ago - Help Me Hera: Do I even want the public sector job I might be about to lose?I’m on the wrong side of 40, I never pursued creative work and now my job is killing my soul. Help! Want Hera’s help? Email your problem to helpme@thespinoff.co.nz Dear Hera, May I start with the least original conversation opener you’re likely to hear around the motu at the moment, particularly in Wellington: ...3 hours ago
- ANZAC Day Wreath Calls For No Future Deaths From AUKUS“Never again - No AUKUS” was the message of the wreath laid at this morning’s national ANZAC Day commemorative service at Pukeahu National War Memorial Park this morning by the Stop AUKUS group. ...4 hours ago
- Swimmer does everything and more to get to Paris
Until this month, Auckland swimmer Hazel Ouwehand had never met a qualifying time in an Olympic event for a New Zealand team, even as a junior. Now she’s very likely off to the Paris Olympics after swimming well under the qualifying standard in the 100m butterfly twice – both in ...6 hours ago - Seize the dayWhile Anzac Day has experienced a resurgence in recent years, our other day of remembrance has slowly faded from view. The Sunday Essay is made possible thanks to the support of Creative New Zealand. Original illustrations by Hope McConnell. First published in 2022. The high school’s head girl and ...6 hours ago
- The first, forgotten Anzacs, more than 50 years before GallipoliAustralian and New Zealand volunteers fought together in the Waikato War, yet still its place in the Anzac tradition is unacknowledged by our defence forces or Returned Services Association. First published in 2018. When I was a boy cub I attended Anzac Day services in the South Auckland suburb of ...6 hours ago
- Poem for Anzac Day: ‘Hoki Mai’ by Tayi TibbleA poem by Wellington writer Tayi Tibble. Hoki Mai She kisses him goodbye with her eyes still wet and alight from their last swim in the Awatere river. At the train station celebration, she leads the Kapa Haka but her voice keeps breaking under and over itself like waves. ...7 hours ago
- Poem for Anzac Day: ‘My World War I Poem’ by Bill ManhireA poem from Bill Manhire’s 2017 book of verse Some Things to Place in a Coffin. My World War I Poem Inside each trench, the sound of prayer. Inside each prayer, the sound of digging. Image courtesy of Auckland War Memorial Museum. ...7 hours ago
- Book of the Week: Talia Marshall on living legend Ngāhuia Te AwekōtukuThere are three books I have wolfed down in one sitting over the last two years. Colleen Maria Lenihan’s gorgeous and sad debut Kōhine, Noelle McCarthy’s memoir Grand about becoming her mother and then unbecoming her, and now Hine Toa, a staunch yet gentle self-portrait by living legend Ngāhuia te ...7 hours ago
- Newsroom daily quiz, Thursday 25 AprilLoading…(function(i,s,o,g,r,a,m){var ql=document.querySelectorAll('A[quiz],DIV[quiz],A[data-quiz],DIV[data-quiz]'); if(ql){if(ql.length){for(var k=0;k<ql.length;k++){ql[k].id='quiz-embed-'+k;ql[k].href="javascript:var i=document.getElementById('quiz-embed-"+k+"');try{qz.startQuiz(i)}catch(e){i.start=1;i.style.cursor='wait';i.style.opacity='0.5'};void(0);"}}};i['QP']=r;i[r]=i[r]||function(){(i[r].q=i[r].q||[]).push(arguments)},i[r].l=1*new Date();a=s.createElement(o),m=s.getElementsByTagName(o)[0];a.async=1;a.src=g;m.parentNode.insertBefore(a,m)})(window,document,'script','https://take.quiz-maker.com/3012/CDN/quiz-embed-v1.js','qp'); Got a good quiz question? Send Newsroom your questions. The post Newsroom daily quiz, Thursday 25 April appeared first on Newsroom. ...7 hours ago
- Daily crossword, Thursday 25 AprilThe post Daily crossword, Thursday 25 April appeared first on Newsroom. ...7 hours ago
- High Court overturns Waitangi Tribunal summons to Minister for Children Karen Chhour
The minister was due to give evidence on Friday regarding the government's plans to repeal section 7AA of the Oranga Tamariki Act ...15 hours ago - Sydney University students set up Gaza solidarity camp as war marks 200 daysAsia Pacific Report Students and activist staff at Australia’s University of Sydney (USyd) have set up a Gaza solidarity encampment in support of Palestinians and similar student-led protests in the United States. The camp was pitched as mass graves, crippled hospitals, thousands of civilian deaths and the near-total destruction of ...15 hours ago
- Most bees don’t die after stinging – and other surprising bee factsSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By James B. Dorey, Lecturer in Biological Sciences, University of Wollongong Australian teddy bear bees are cute and fluffy, but get a look at that massive (unbarbed) stinger! James Dorey Photography Most of us have been stung by a bee and we ...16 hours ago
- How Anzac deaths changed the way we mourn to this daySource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Jen Roberts, Senior Lecturer, School of Humanities and Social Inquiry, University of Wollongong Aussie~mobs/Flickr Victor Farr, a private in the 1st Infantry Battalion, was among the first to land at Anzac Cove just before dawn on April 25 1915. Victor Farr ...16 hours ago
- Sugar gums have a reputation as risky branch-droppers but they’re important to bees, parrots and p...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Gregory Moore, Senior Research Associate, School of Ecosystem and Forest Sciences, The University of Melbourne Gregory Moore I had the good fortune to care for the sugar gum at The University of Melbourne’s Burnley Gardens in Victoria where I worked for ...16 hours ago
- Inflation is slowly falling, while student debt is climbing: 6 graphs that explain today’s CPISource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By John Hawkins, Senior Lecturer, Canberra School of Politics, Economics and Society, University of Canberra BagzhanSadvakassov/Upsplash, CC BY-SA Australia’s inflation rate has fallen for the fifth successive quarter, and it’s now less than half of what it was back in late 2022. ...16 hours ago
- Our housing system is broken and the poorest Australians are being hardest hitSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Rachel Ong ViforJ, ARC Future Fellow & Professor of Economics, Curtin University Just when we think the price of rentals could not get any worse, this week’s Rental Affordability Snapshot by Anglicare has revealed low-income Australians are facing a housing crisis like ...16 hours ago
- ‘It bucked our lads up wonderfully’: the lightning-quick WWI battle that marked the birth of the...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Meighen McCrae, Associate Professor of Strategic & Defence Studies, Australian National University American and Australian stretcher bearers working together near the front line during the Battle of Hamel in 1918. Australian War Memorial While the AUKUS alliance is new, the Australian-American partnership ...16 hours ago
- Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Tracey Holmes, Professorial Fellow in Sport, University of Canberra When the news broke last weekend that 23 Chinese swimmers had tested positive to a banned drug in early 2021 and were allowed to compete at the Tokyo Olympic Games six months later ...16 hours ago
- First Nations Anzacs sacrificed life and limb for Country. Why aren’t their stories shown onscreen...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Cally Jetta, Senior Lecturer and Academic Lead; College for First Nations, University of Southern Queensland Australian War Memorial Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander readers are advised this article contains names and images of deceased people, as well as sensitive historical information ...16 hours ago
- NZ’s Media Minister Melissa Lee demoted after Newshub crisisRNZ News Melissa Lee has been ousted from New Zealand’s coalition cabinet and stripped of the Media portfolio, and Penny Simmonds has lost the Disability Issues portfolio in a reshuffle. Climate Change and Revenue Minister Simon Watts will take Lee’s spot in cabinet. Simmonds was a minister outside of cabinet. ...16 hours ago
- Our tall, wet forests were not open and park-like when colonists arrived – and we shouldn’t be b...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By David Lindenmayer, Professor, Fenner School of Environment and Society, Australian National University laurello/Shutterstock Some reports and popular books, such as Bill Gammage’s Biggest Estate on Earth, have argued that extensive areas of Australia’s forests were kept open through frequent burning by ...17 hours ago
- Aces in their places: Luxon plays coy over ministers' competenceAnalysis - Christopher Luxon framing the demotion of two ministers as the portfolios getting "too complex" is a charitable way of saying they weren't up to the job. ...17 hours ago
- Politics with Michelle Grattan: Economist Chris Richardson on an ‘ugly’ inflation result and the...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Michelle Grattan, Professorial Fellow, University of Canberra With Jim Chalmers’s third budget on May 14, Australians will be looking for some more cost-of-living relief – beyond the tax cuts – although they have been warned extra measures will be modest. As ...17 hours ago
- Melissa Lee’s media Hail Mary comes up shortAnalysis: Melissa Lee has lost the media portfolio and her spot in Cabinet after multiple failed attempts to find solutions for a media industry in crisis. On Wednesday, the Prime Minister announced Lee would be losing her spot in Cabinet along with her media and communications ministerial portfolio. The job ...17 hours ago
- Northland council continues four-year Māori ward fight in face of government changesA council that played a key role in getting Māori ward polling removed is now lobbying against government plans to reinstate binding referendums. ...18 hours ago
- Education Ministry cuts: Roles providing support for disabled kids among those proposed to be axedLeaked documents show which divisions will bear the brunt of hundreds of proposed job cuts at the Ministry of Education. ...18 hours ago
- Land Information New Zealand proposes 57 job cutsIt is the latest department to announce job cuts as part of the government's cost-cutting measures. ...19 hours ago
- Watch: Government's 'wheels are falling off already', Hipkins says, after ministers d...The Labour leader says the demotion of two ministers today shows the PM "didn't have particularly good judgement". ...19 hours ago
- The stories of Australia’s Muslim Anzacs have long been forgotten. It’s time we honour themSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Simon Wilmot, Senior Lecturer, Film, Deakin University Among the many Australian who served during the second world war, there is a small group of people whose stories remain largely untold. These are the Muslim men and women who, while small in number, ...20 hours ago
- National emergency response facing 26 separate inquiries: What have we learnedThe country's emergency response is besieged by inquiries, despite years of reviews and efforts to make laws that deliver. ...20 hours ago
- Sexual assault victims give evidence in court, but alleged perpetrators don’t have to. Bruce Lehrm...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Kelly Saunders, PhD Candidate, University of Canberra There has been much analysis and praise of Justice Michael Lee’s recent judgement in Bruce Lehrmann’s defamation case against Channel Ten. Many people were openly relieved to read Lee’s “forensic” and “nuanced” application of law ...21 hours ago
- What’s the difference between ADD and ADHD?Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Kathy Gibbs, Program Director for the Bachelor of Education, Griffith University zEdward_Indy/Shutterstock Around one in 20 people has attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). It’s one of the most common neurodevelopmental disorders in childhood and often continues into adulthood. ADHD is diagnosed ...21 hours ago
- Watch: Government's 'wheels are falling off already', Hipkins says, after minsters de...The Labour leader says the demotion of two ministers today shows the PM "didn't have particularly good judgement". ...21 hours ago
- Anti-Poverty Groups Urge New Minister For Disability Issues To Reverse Funding CutsThe Fairer Future coalition of anti-poverty groups say Whaikaha must be properly funded going forward, and that to argue that poor financial management of the new Ministry is a red herring by the Prime Minister. ...21 hours ago
- New Media Minister Must Rule Out State Intervention In Private MediaThe Taxpayers’ Union is today congratulating Hon. Paul Goldsmith on his appointment as Minister for Media and Communications and urges him to rule out state intervention in the private media sector. ...21 hours ago
- OPM leader’s open letter condemns Australia’s ‘treachery’ over PapuaAsia Pacific Report The West Papuan resistance OPM leader has condemned Australian Prime Minister Anthony Albanese and US President Joe Biden, accusing their countries of “six decades of treachery” over Papuan independence. The open letter was released today by OPM chairman Jeffrey P Bomanak on the eve of ANZAC Day ...21 hours ago
- ‘Emily Dickinson made me into a writer’: Lauren Groff on the power of readingWelcome to The Spinoff Books Confessional, in which we get to know the reading habits and quirks of New Zealanders at large. This week: writer and one of Time Magazine’s 100 most influential people of 2024, Lauren Groff. The book I wish I’d written If I wish I’d written a ...22 hours ago
- Watch live: Chris Hipkins speaks after ministers Melissa Lee, Penny Simmonds lose portfoliosThe Labour leader speaks from Parliament after the prime minister's sudden Cabinet reshuffle. ...22 hours ago
- What kind of diner are you? 6 types of diners who avoid plant-based meat dishesSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By David Fechner, Research Fellow, Social Marketing, Griffith University mavo/Shutterstock Imagine having dinner at a restaurant. The menu offers plant-based meat alternatives made mostly from vegetables, mushrooms, legumes and wheat that mimic meat in taste, texture and smell. Despite being given that ...22 hours ago
- Auckland University Criminologist Slams ‘Racist’ Three Strikes Law“Three Strikes is a dead-end policy proposed by a dead-end government. The Three Strikes law ignores the causes of crime, instead just brutalising people already crushed by the cost of living.” ...22 hours ago
- Australia-born judge facing potential deportation from KiribatiBy Don Wiseman, RNZ Pacific senior journalist An Australian-born judge in Kiribati could well face deportation later this week after a tribunal ruling that he should be removed from his post. The tribunal’s report has just been tabled in the Kiribati Parliament and is due to be debated by MPs ...22 hours ago
- Can Body-Worn Cameras Work In Australia And New Zealand? Lessons From Milestone’s Denmark SurveyWith its clear mandate for police use, political nuances, and nuanced public trust, Denmark's insights provide valuable considerations for Australia and New Zealand. ...23 hours ago
- Media Minister Melissa Lee demoted from Cabinet, Penny Simmonds stripped of portfolioMelissa Lee has been stripped of the Media portfolio, while Penny Simmonds has lost the Disability Issues role. Follow as the PM explains. ...23 hours ago
- Climate change and human rights: how a landmark legal victory in Europe could affect NZSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Vernon Rive, Associate Professor of Law, University of Auckland, Waipapa Taumata Rau Getty Images A seven-year campaign by a group of over 2,000 Swiss women – average age 73 – recently ended with a European Court of Human Rights decision variously ...23 hours ago
- Page-turning rural gothic: Ash by Louise Wallace, reviewedBooks editor Claire Mabey reviews poet Louise Wallace’s debut novel. A famous poet once said to me that he’s always suspicious when a poet publishes a novel. I never really understood why but maybe it’s something to do with cheating on your first form. Louise Wallace is a poet. She’s ...24 hours ago
- Lower catch limits in force for Fiordland, Chatham IslandsNew catch limits in Fiordland mean recreational fishers will only be able to take much smaller bags of finfish and shellfish. ...24 hours ago
- New emergency management legislation delayed after bill pulled by GovernmentThe bill was introduced by the previous government in June last year. ...1 day ago
- ‘It was my Eras tour’: Meet the world’s biggest TrueBliss fansFor a few months at the turn of the millennium, TrueBliss burned bright as the biggest pop stars in the country. Alex Casey chats to two superfans who still hold the flame. During a humble backyard wedding in Nelson, 1999, one of the cordially invited guests had to excuse themselves ...1 day ago
- No more Census forms? Stats NZ mulls form of future surveysThe traditional Census form could become a thing of the past, as Stats NZ starts to rely more heavily on administrative data. ...1 day ago
- The voices that vanish in a decimated newsroom How will the recent wave of job cuts impact ethnic diversity in the media? In November last year, I was working a very busy day in the newsroom of a large online news site, interviewing whānau about their concerns over the imminent closure of one of the few puna reo ...1 day ago
- Half our colleagues suffer pain and discomfort from periods. But they’re still a taboo subject at ...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Ruth Knight, Researcher, Queensland University of Technology Have you ever felt sick at work? Perhaps you had food poisoning or the flu. Your belly hurt, or you felt tired, making it hard to concentrate and be productive. How likely would you be ...1 day ago
- 'We're going to be banning gang patches' – Police Minister adamantDespite heavy criticism and an ongoing select committee process, the Police Minister says the Government will forge ahead with a ban on gang patches. ...1 day ago
- Is it possible to ‘objectively’ judge music? We asked 5 expertsSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Sam Whiting, Lecturer – Creative Industries, University of South Australia Shutterstock Everyone has a favourite band, or a favourite composer, or a favourite song. There is some music which speaks to you, deeply; and other music which might be the current ...1 day ago
- Gloomy vibe from infrastructure sector as RMA changes unveiledA new survey says ‘outlook not great’ for those charged with building infrastructure, while RMA changes delight farmers and depress environmentalists, writes Anna Rawhiti-Connell in this excerpt from The Bulletin, The Spinoff’s morning news round-up. To receive The Bulletin in full each weekday, sign up here. First RMA changes announced ...1 day ago
- From Gallipoli to Gaza: remembering the Anzacs not as a ‘coming of age’ tale but as a lesson for...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Olli Hellmann, Associate Professor of Political Science, University of Waikato Getty Images When New Zealanders commemorate Anzac Day on April 25, it’s not only to honour the soldiers who lost their lives in World War I and subsequent conflicts, but also ...1 day ago
- The end of the Census? Stats NZ to look at whether survey is still neededThe traditional Census survey could become a thing of the past as Stats NZ starts to rely more heavily on administrative data. ...1 day ago
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“3 sticks to bash benes with”
Three harmless nutters and a dangerous sociopath.
Like.
Bennett’s office staff pose with remnants of the ladder she pulled up behind her.
clapping both of yours….
I caught these 3 over-paid beneficiaries trying to fly under the radar, out of NZ.
Three wizards and one witch.
Ha!
Minister announces extension of policy cancelling benefits for overseas travellers to those travelling by broomstick.
Budget cuts to Diplomatic Protection Squad have adverse affect on Ministerial Security
chuckle
I make as much sense as these guys, but my spells really stuff with poor peoples lives!
The Minister of Social Development and her closest advisers.
National sends feelers out to Wizard Party for co-alition negotiations
Green Party representatives in their formal wear, share with Paula Bennett their economic policy.
“No, you fucking idiots, I said you’ll need an innocent sacrifice!”
Tutor and government minister, Paula Bennett poses with the first graduates of the inaugural Masters course in the ‘Dark Arts of Capitalism’ at the University of Auckland.
“I am the future of NZ – have handbag and my own personal diplomatic protection squad!”
Eye of Newt and spleen of Sharnelle: beneficiary organ harvesting discussion group meets to consider strategies.
this kernel of truth.
SCENE I. A cavern. In the middle, a boiling cauldron.
Thunder. Enter the three Witches
First Witch
Thrice the brinded cat hath mew’d.
Second Witch
Thrice and once the hedge-pig whined.
Third Witch
Harpier cries ‘Tis time, ’tis time.
Thunder. Enter the Wizard of Christchurch
Wizard of Christchurch
Sex is not for men at all! Sex is for women!
The only men who like sex are HOMOSEXUALS! OR TEENAGERS! OR AMERICANS! …..
The Witches of Westwick
Wicked Witch of the West and 3 dudes dressed like wizards.
Each of the houses was represented by a Hogwarts graduate.
Pick the Slytherin representative.
do go on…
“They told me it was mufti day”
I never had sex with that woman!
Dishonest Hypocrite
Privacy trouble
Come September.
We’ ll pop this foul bubble
PB:
If Bad12 says so much as a word, I’ll chin him.
Lol. Not a trough in sight, so she’ll be right.
what does jay leno have to do with it?
TV3 reports no conflict of interest over ministers flying visit to Hogwarts
National Party social policy workshop no.7
Paula: “My handbag gave me just quarter of an acid tab and now Johnnie Steven and Bill are just amazingly bearded.”
Junior wizards receive C- for “Demon Summoning” assignment, while the Wizard of Christchurch is annoyed at effect that this will have on his National Standards scorecard.
Third wizard has yet to realise that the knob has just fallen off his staff.
September 20th you say – you’ll never guess what I’ve got up my sleeve….
Wizards with staves finally locate missing knob.
They’re here too, HELP!?
“Miramar homicide: Police searching for witch costume.” -Herald.
Connectivity???
Who is the REAL wizard, who are the pretend wizards? ….and why is THAT woman with them?
Real WIZARD to himself…”OMG how did I get here with this rum lot?!”.
Question:..which one is the REAL wizard?
I think the one with the orange cardigan is the WICKED WITCH of the NACT WEST
“Sorry, when someone said there was a queue for people who need to learn spelling, John told me to sign up so he wouldn’t have to keep drawing me pictures.”
Like!
The cops are looking for costumes like those!!!
Identity parade for beneficiary bashing case.
The victim identified the assailant as the hirsute individual in black, second from the right.
The handbag? No, I’m not trying to send a message to the PM.
Fake smile spell works well on the mean-spirited Thatcherite holding the oversized handbag/beneficiary body bag.
PB: ” National has an evidence-based social and economic policy”
PB: “This is such an important meeting I brought along 3 Treasury advisors”
Xox
I told you it would take at least 3 wizards to turn her into a frog!
Breaking News: Voldemort Survives the Deathly Hallows!
Three of them have dicks
The other one is a dick
All four grow facial hair
But only one shaves
The men are wearing dresses
The witch is wearing pants
This handbag is made from the foreskins of my enemies!
The 3 most powerful wizards of Aotearoa cannot stop me!!
Now smile for the camera like good little boys or your souls are mine AHAAHAHAAAAA
Bene bashing bitch turns up at witches conference instead of bitches conference.
Three works of Art and one piece of work.
interesting
If only I could get these three to replace Key, English and Joyce, then I could fight it out to be leader against Parata and Collins in the Battle of the (hand) Bags.
Bennett “They’re the only friends I’ve got”
Paula benebasher highers new “staff” to demonize beneficeries.
Bennett bene basher shows off new ” staff “member to her left his rod hasn’t been broken in like the other 2 .
Bennett says new carrot and stick approach to welfare their will be a lot more stick and less carrot.
Like Orange is the new Black dearies.
Paula steels wizards thunder downunder
Another spelling mistake on The Standard…
Bennett…”Jezzus, They told me that smoking & inhaling that synthetic cannabis, has no effects…..Oh well I better try a proper toke on the joint…..and the witches will go”
Blimey!since we privatised Air New Zealand, they have really come on, I do like the new staff uniforms”
The patients of cheapo cosmetic surgery pose for group photo
“Has anyone seen Karol?”
Paula would of had her own staff…but she lost it by shuving it through the heart of a single mother on benefits.
GOD!!!!! I know I said I needed body guards but when I said come undercover……………..
Pb, “Is this really what happens when you lose yr virginity and sell yr soul”?
Pete George (wizard.. far left) hoped the cunning disguise would hold good.Otherwise his latest switch of allegiance would become apparent.
Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble!
More stick, less carrot. With Rogering Sticks at the ready WINZ staff sport their latest weapons used in the “War On Bennies.” Minister refuses to reveal what she did with hers. . .
In spite of what other people said…PB thought her evening at the speed dating was a stunning success.
Bennett cannot hold her glee as three senior national cabinet ministers fall for the old, “It’s mufti day tomorrow” trick.
First wizard to other wizards.
“Have we disappeared her⁉
Nah, she’s still here.
Bugger, must-have the weight to spell ratio wrong.
Needs the triple whammy.
Altogether!!!!!!!!!
First wizard to other wizards…..Look Lads..Its my fooking stag night!!….I may be half pissed…Yet even I can see, that’s she a cheap stripper/lap dancer…You could of spent a few more bucks couldn’t you?You cheap bastards!!!…
The four men of the apocalypse arrived at Auckland International Airport on a fact finding tour ..Unfortunately one had forgotten its uniform…
3rd wizard to other wizards, look I told you fellas.We cant take the dog on the flight..That will never get past customs.
better
Ms Bennett was introduced to her new outsourced, under minimum wage, privatised, team of cleaners for her ministerial office.
2nd Wizard from Left..”You have no idea what I am doing with my left hand… all I can say is its stuck and I can’t get it out….HELP!”
Paula Dildo salesmen, tried to look happy in their newly found WINZ assisted jobs.
Paula commented..”Now that’s what I call real economic growth!”
Any smile, you can smile I can do better. Compliments of the taxpayers of course.!!!!
The pinata at this year’s surprise Beneficieries Bash Back gala didn’t suspect a thing…
Witchygoo Fark.
Somewhere In Deepest Middle Wellington.
Centre Wizard To Wizard On Right.
“That’s Its Lprent, I Have Had ENOUGH
This Is The Bloody Third Time This Week You Have Directed Us To The Wrong Destination!
Oh Its Always Excuses With You Lprent Isnt It?
The Broom Sat Nav Is Not Working Properly,
You Need To Go To Another Appointment At Specsavers,
You Put Regular Instead of UnLeaded In The Broomsticks,
Well Enough is Enough!
When We Get Back To The Witch Academy Your Busted To An Elf!
Because,
This Is NOT FOOKING KANSAS!
This Tub Of Lard That’s Attached Itself To Me ISN’T BLOODY DOROTHY!
Also That Dog You Ate Whole, WAS NOT FRIGGIN TOTO! It Was A Passing Guide Dog YOU MORON!”
“Ok Mickey We Are Gonna Have To Get The Fook Out Of Here,
On The Count Of 3,,, Tell The Devils Own Tub Of Lard,
That You Smell The Scent Of First Born Babies Being Cooked Coming From The Keys Office,?
When She Starts To Foam At Mouth And Takes Off, Run Like Fook To The Taxi Rank?
We Will Meet You There…Its Ok Lprent Is Paying!
Lets Do This Thing!
1, 2, 3!”
Professor Umbridge and the Ministry of Magic
The new Washington Wizards fan club with Voo Doo Mama. drmrs 4/10/2014