Caption competition

Written By: - Date published: 4:05 pm, March 12th, 2015 - 108 comments
Categories: caption contest, phil twyford - Tags: ,

Sometimes life imitates art. This is the picture that Phil Twyford was ejected from question time for displaying. Might as well turn it in to a – caption competition!

pork-barrel

108 comments on “Caption competition ”

  • Comments are now closed

  1. Hayden 1
    12 March 2015 at 4:11 pm

    “The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which.”

    • Sanctuary 1.1
      12 March 2015 at 9:40 pm

      “Bridge or no bridge, he said, life would go on as it had always gone on in Northland–that is, badly.”

  2. tc 2
    12 March 2015 at 4:11 pm

    Snouter was curious at the new additions to his sty but felt relaxed about it as he was good friends with the smelly one requesting a belly rub.

  3. r0b 3
    12 March 2015 at 4:14 pm

    National taking political pork to new levels.

  4. mary_a 4
    12 March 2015 at 4:15 pm

    Natsies playing piggy in the muddle … (insertion of u intentional).

  5. marty mars 5
    12 March 2015 at 4:16 pm

    i’m sick of seeing this bullshit

  6. r0b 6
    12 March 2015 at 4:42 pm

    Key didn’t just make a pig’s ear of banging in that nail, he made a whole pig…

  7. Clemgeopin 7
    12 March 2015 at 4:52 pm

    Like the five eyes, the five pigs club.

  8. irascible 8
    12 March 2015 at 4:52 pm

    John watched frrom behind the hoarding as Steven, Mark and Simon advertised another new trough.

  9. AB 9
    12 March 2015 at 4:52 pm

    Pork and turnip-heads

  10. Steve Cain 10
    12 March 2015 at 4:55 pm

    Pork – what pork? I don’t see any pork!

  11. One Anonymous Bloke 11
    12 March 2015 at 5:09 pm

    Mike Sabin, shapeshifter par excellence.

  12. Atiawa 12
    12 March 2015 at 5:13 pm

    Mike, the first little pig built his house from straw.
    Mark, the second little pig built his house from wood.

  13. te reo putake 13
    12 March 2015 at 5:15 pm

    “Communication in pigs is mainly vocal; there are ~20 different recognized sounds. The grunt is one of the most common sounds, given in response to familiar sounds or while looking for food (rooting). A short grunt is given when the pig is excited, whereas a long grunt is a contact call and normally associated with pleasurable stimuli. When pigs are aroused they may squeal, and they may scream when hurt. Dominant pigs bark at subordinate pigs as a threat.”

    On that basis, there’s a good chance the porker in question is a comms advisor to the PM.

  14. rawshark-yeshe 14
    12 March 2015 at 5:28 pm

    National includes necessary visual recognition tool of actual sow’s ear while they attempt manufacture of their silk purse.

  15. rawshark-yeshe 15
    12 March 2015 at 5:28 pm

    ( and pardon me, but wtf is Sabin doing in any pictures at all ???)

    • jenny kirk 15.1
      12 March 2015 at 6:31 pm

      Well – rawshark-yeshe – his picture hasn’t been banned, only what he’s done !

      • rawshark-yeshe 15.1.1
        12 March 2015 at 7:51 pm

        so they are still happy to have him supporting their campaign ?

        baby cheeses, as tracey would say.

  16. rawshark-yeshe 16
    12 March 2015 at 5:30 pm

    Poor pig called Pearl is confused by swine cast in front of her.

  17. rawshark-yeshe 17
    12 March 2015 at 5:33 pm

    the bible has the best caption of all ..

    Matthew 7:6 : “Do not cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces.”

    Go piggy !

  18. marty mars 18
    12 March 2015 at 5:41 pm

    Failed candidate screams obscenities at picture of his leader and begins destroying own sign after Winston whitewash in Northland.

  19. mac1 19
    12 March 2015 at 5:46 pm

    “You can tell a man that boozes by the company he chooses,”
    Then the pig got up and slowly walked away.

  20. fender 20
    12 March 2015 at 6:05 pm

    No sign of this pig flying.

    Man removes hammer from Keys head after billboard mishap.

    Joyce and Collins attend billboard erection, Garner watches on.

  21. joe90 21
    12 March 2015 at 6:23 pm

    Once upon a time when pigs spoke rhyme
    And Key chewed tobacco,
    And Stephen took snuff to make him tough,
    And Mark went quack, quack, quack, O!

    http://www.pitt.edu/~dash/type0124.html#halliwell

  22. felix 22
    12 March 2015 at 6:58 pm

    “Someone get that disgusting fucking pig out of here”

    “We did, boss. That’s why we’re having a by-election”

  23. b waghorn 23
    12 March 2015 at 7:13 pm

    This little piggy holds the hammer,
    The next little piggy holds his tail,
    This little pigger supervises,
    The next little piggy says poo what’s this smell,
    The last little piggy is in hiding possibly on his way to a cell.

  24. repateet 24
    12 March 2015 at 7:29 pm

    4 tools and an even toed ungulate

  25. Jessica Parsons 25
    12 March 2015 at 8:00 pm

    This little piggy played the markets,
    And this little piggy stayed home,
    This little piggy wants a new job,
    ‘Cause this little piggy has none,
    And this little piggy goes “Wee wee wee, what are all these porkers doing in my home?”

  26. the pigman 26
    12 March 2015 at 8:08 pm

    5 pigs.

    • Clemgeopin 26.1
      12 March 2015 at 9:30 pm

      Did you see ‘the smartest, the cutest, the nicest, the most innocent, the most honest, and the least evil of them all’ in that picture? I did!

  27. Tautoko Mangō Mata 27
    12 March 2015 at 8:37 pm

    Pig: “They really think they are going to bring home the bacon! Time to strap on my wings.”

  28. b waghorn 28
    12 March 2015 at 8:41 pm

    50 years of giving nortland nothing ,we better build them some bridges so they get over it.

  29. Clemgeopin 29
    12 March 2015 at 8:54 pm

    This is what is meant by hitting the nail on its head.

  30. greywarshark 30
    12 March 2015 at 9:00 pm

    Change of flag, change of region names, they’re on our UNACT priority list. Starting with Northland. We’re going to do a Cheshire cat job on this one, slowly fading letters till it’s Notland. That’ll learn them, always grizzling and trying to improve their fiscal portion on the basis of their considered importance. Huh!

  31. Clemgeopin 31
    12 March 2015 at 9:21 pm

    A public erection
    ..for privately created Nat’s by-election.

  32. peterlepaysan 32
    12 March 2015 at 9:40 pm

    A ha! So this is what a “put up” job is!

  33. saveNZ 33
    12 March 2015 at 9:59 pm

    If the Nats had their way the pig would be in a sow crate.

  34. Peter Watt 34
    12 March 2015 at 10:51 pm

    And this little pig went wee, wee, wee all the way home!

  35. Incognito 35
    12 March 2015 at 11:36 pm

    Good Friday is only 3 weeks away and National has been doing a lot of practice hammering nails. I can only assume that Gerry Brownlee is putting his woodwork skills to good use in making The Cross. All eyes were on a Kauri in Titirangi but KDC and Nicky Hager thwarted that idea, the bastards.

  36. ropata:rorschach 36
    12 March 2015 at 11:43 pm

    A more accurate hoarding would read

    Pork O’Barrel
    Irrational
    Covering for
    Mike Sabin

  37. SPC 37
    13 March 2015 at 12:31 am

    Mike, Mark and the gospel of John.

    If it looks like a pig, sounds like a pig and fucks like a pig, its a …

  38. Puckish Rogue 38
    13 March 2015 at 8:14 am

    Introducing the next MP for Northland

  39. jeff 39
    13 March 2015 at 8:36 am

    “Shit Steven. I could have done a better job with that nail, if you hadn’t left my Bob the Builder hat back in the office. “

  40. Sans Cle 40
    13 March 2015 at 9:19 am

    Unveiling Joyce’s master-minded Pigouvian Tax……for the negative externalities created by the National Party. “Sow-Sowrry” he was heard to say.

  41. Clemgeopin 41
    13 March 2015 at 9:23 am

    Bugger me, Stevie! Look, awkshully, to be honest, between you and me, I reckon, that at the end of the day, this pig’s days are hopelessly numbered!

  42. David H 42
    13 March 2015 at 9:59 am

    When are these bloody pigs going to leave my Paddock? and take your bloody garbage with you.

  43. risildowgtn 43
    13 March 2015 at 10:27 am

    We’re ready to trough even more
    Even brought our mother

  44. alwyn 44
    13 March 2015 at 10:27 am

    In the background lurked a local Green Party activist.
    As soon as they left he would carry out his party assigned duty defacing National Party billboards.

    • rawshark-yeshe 44.1
      13 March 2015 at 11:18 am

      my my, why so bitterly sour ?

      • alwyn 44.1.1
        13 March 2015 at 11:33 am

        That’s not bitter old chap. This following example is bitter and you loved it.
        Each to his own I suppose.

        ““Someone get that disgusting fucking pig out of here”
        “We did, boss. That’s why we’re having a by-election”

        Reply
        rawshark-yeshe 22.1

        12 March 2015 at 7:53 pm

        love u felix !”

        • rawshark-yeshe 44.1.1.1
          13 March 2015 at 11:59 am

          🙄

        • greywarshark 44.1.1.2
          13 March 2015 at 12:16 pm

          Is that all your own work alwyn at 44.1.1? I don’t think plagiarism is allowed in this caption contest. Something fresh and original from you is what we readers are hoping for.

          • alwyn 44.1.1.2.1
            13 March 2015 at 1:56 pm

            Of course it isn’t old fellow.
            I put it in quotes because it was taken from a little earlier in this post.
            This was the sort of remark that rawshark-yesme seemed to think was clever.
            Then he had the gall to claim that mine was bitter!

      • greywarshark 44.1.2
        13 March 2015 at 2:09 pm

        @ rawshark-yeshe
        I think we should leave alwyn alone as he is a very sensitive little sausage – more a saveloy. And he has the right to have a bitter caption. Commenting on the sensitive goes off the rails.

        • McFlock 44.1.2.1
          13 March 2015 at 2:18 pm

          saveloys are red, at least on the outside 🙂

        • rawshark-yeshe 44.1.2.2
          13 March 2015 at 3:25 pm

          dear ‘old fellow’ greywarshark .. point fairly taken .. signed: old chap rawsharkyeshe
          (who knew this much about either of us :grin:)

          it wasn’t the bitter btw, it was the sourness.

  45. joe90 45
    13 March 2015 at 10:34 am

    FNDC asset manager seeks larger trough.

  46. whateva next? 46
    13 March 2015 at 11:43 am

    Pork, Porkies, porkies and porkers

  47. greywarshark 47
    13 March 2015 at 12:12 pm

    I’ve just come out to have a decko at that there high-up sign. It’s good to see a well-built member of our family grinning proudly and showing how we’re getting on in the world.

  48. Capn Insano 48
    13 March 2015 at 12:50 pm

    “My thumb! I put a nail through my fucking thumb!!”

  49. Clemgeopin 49
    13 March 2015 at 1:25 pm

    Q : How many Nats does it take to hammer a nail?

  50. Clemgeopin 50
    13 March 2015 at 4:31 pm

    Four big swine and a thoughtful little pet apparently!

  51. Ecosse_Maidy 51
    13 March 2015 at 9:16 pm

    National concedes and removes the signs early.

  52. Sable 52
    14 March 2015 at 10:31 am

    Wonder if the pigs wearing lipstick.

  53. Treetop 53
    14 March 2015 at 4:30 pm

    Where is that piggy in the middle Winswine?

    He’s the one I would back to go wee wee wee all the way home.

  54. Ecosse_Maidy 54
    14 March 2015 at 6:39 pm

    Ok, I told you….you were not required here..we can manage…
    Go home Paula!

  55. Ecosse_Maidy 55
    14 March 2015 at 6:41 pm

    The Independent Swine Pig Party representative, was appalled that the Fascist, Bigoted, Homophobic Swine Party had shown up to campaign on their patch

  56. Ecosse_Maidy 56
    14 March 2015 at 6:44 pm

    Peppa The Pig on Vacation, thought they really dont get it, do they? Its not Uber Swine before Swine…Its meant to be Pearls before Swine…Oh Well..

  57. Ecosse_Maidy 57
    14 March 2015 at 6:44 pm

    Right we have managed that with two of us…Lets get back to HQ and see if the three of us can replace that fooking light bulb!

  58. Ecosse_Maidy 58
    14 March 2015 at 6:45 pm

    Christ…if only I had bloody wings I could get away from these *********!

  59. Ecosse_Maidy 59
    14 March 2015 at 6:50 pm

    Lads,,,,I don’t want to be the bearer of very bad news…yet that car that whizzed past..
    Its Pete George
    Hes come to help and fact check on the campaign!!!!

    Let’s call John and tell him to concede as the campaign is now truly lost

  60. Ecosse_Maidy 60
    14 March 2015 at 6:50 pm

    Peppa, thought what a bunch of morons, even she knew its meant to be pin the tail on the donkey, not nail the candidate..Bloody Humans!

  61. Ecosse_Maidy 61
    14 March 2015 at 6:54 pm

    Pig thought, i knew it,,,I can smell **** from miles away!

  62. Ecosse_Maidy 62
    14 March 2015 at 6:56 pm

    Fellas I ain’t being funny,, that looks nothing like replacing a bridge as we were ordered

    • b waghorn 62.1
      14 March 2015 at 7:47 pm

      Once this elections out of the way we will re use this sign as a bridge, that way we’ll achieve surplus in 2117

  63. Ecosse_Maidy 63
    14 March 2015 at 6:59 pm

    Jabba Keys & Jabba Osbourne show of their promotional mug shots that were going to be used in Star wars The Pre Sequel.

  64. Ecosse_Maidy 64
    14 March 2015 at 7:00 pm

    Fellas,whos standing back….. please don’t take the piss out of me, I am looking at them both,,,
    ,I cant see any difference between either of them, they both look complete bastards to me!

  65. Ecosse_Maidy 65
    14 March 2015 at 7:07 pm

    That’s enough!
    Us Pigs have rights too!

    I am damaged beyond belief to be in the same photo as those dickheads……

    I am not a number I am a living thoughtful being

  66. Ecosse_Maidy 66
    14 March 2015 at 7:11 pm

    I am a Pig,
    if I try I can lick my own arse, bet you lot cant…
    oh oh, i take that back…

    You probably can..

  67. Ecosse_Maidy 67
    14 March 2015 at 7:12 pm

    You can tell a man by the company he keeps..and with that the pig got up and walked away.
    (with that the Pig got on her Harley and zoomed off to the nearest bar)

  68. Ecosse_Maidy 68
    14 March 2015 at 7:14 pm

    After a long search Karol was found safe and well

    • greywarshark 68.1
      15 March 2015 at 2:27 pm

      e M
      Better leave Karol out – she may not choose to mix with this company.

  69. Ecosse_Maidy 69
    14 March 2015 at 7:15 pm

    Right, I am putting in a complaint to my agent
    …I was told I was to star in Babe Four…..Not …..Nazis Come To Northland

  70. Ecosse_Maidy 70
    14 March 2015 at 7:17 pm

    I am a Pig, I can push, come to shove, think and use tools……

    So whats your lots excuse?

  71. Ecosse_Maidy 71
    14 March 2015 at 7:19 pm

    Of all the fields in all the fields in CasaNorthland, you bastards had to come in my joint………….

    Nail it again Sam

  72. Ecosse_Maidy 72
    14 March 2015 at 7:22 pm

    Peppa Pig……….”You lot are telling Porkie Pies and I cant even see the fooking poster!”

  73. Ecosse_Maidy 73
    14 March 2015 at 7:25 pm

    Jesus Kylie you have changed, how did the latest cosmetic surgery go?

  74. Ecosse_Maidy 74
    14 March 2015 at 7:27 pm

    Shouldn’t we get that Pig out of the photo shot?
    No its ok Mate, its one of our under cover GCB agents..

    .phewwww that’s ok then

  75. Ffloyd 75
    14 March 2015 at 7:51 pm

    Mark Osbourne! Porking for Northland!

  76. Clemgeopin 76
    15 March 2015 at 3:19 pm

    The Old Wise Winston had a farm,

    E-I-E-I-O.

    And on that farm came some dirty pigs,

    E-I-E-I-O.

    With a oink bribe here,
    And a oink bribe there,
    Here a bribe, there a bribe,
    Everywhere a bloody bribe!

    E-I-E-I-O.

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    Local Government Minister Simeon Brown has announced an increase to the Rates Rebate Scheme, putting money back into the pockets of low-income homeowners.  “The coalition Government is committed to bringing down the cost of living for New Zealanders. That includes targeted support for those Kiwis who are doing things tough, such ...
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    1 week ago

  • Government backing mussel spat project
    The Coalition Government is investing in a project to boost survival rates of New Zealand mussels and grow the industry, Oceans and Fisheries Minister Shane Jones has announced. “This project seeks to increase the resilience of our mussels and significantly boost the sector’s productivity,” Mr Jones says. “The project - ...
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  • Government focused on getting people into work
    Benefit figures released today underscore the importance of the Government’s plan to rebuild the economy and have 50,000 fewer people on Jobseeker Support, Social Development and Employment Minister Louise Upston says. “Benefit numbers are still significantly higher than when National was last in government, when there was about 70,000 fewer ...
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    1 week ago

  • Clean energy key driver to reducing emissions
    The Government’s commitment to doubling New Zealand’s renewable energy capacity is backed by new data showing that clean energy has helped the country reach its lowest annual gross emissions since 1999, Climate Change Minister Simon Watts says. New Zealand’s latest Greenhouse Gas Inventory (1990-2022) published today, shows gross emissions fell ...
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    1 week ago

  • Earthquake-prone buildings review brought forward
    The Government is bringing the earthquake-prone building review forward, with work to start immediately, and extending the deadline for remediations by four years, Building and Construction Minister Chris Penk says. “Our Government is focused on rebuilding the economy. A key part of our plan is to cut red tape that ...
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    1 week ago

  • Thailand and NZ to agree to Strategic Partnership
    Prime Minister Christopher Luxon and his Thai counterpart, Prime Minister Srettha Thavisin, have today agreed that New Zealand and the Kingdom of Thailand will upgrade the bilateral relationship to a Strategic Partnership by 2026. “New Zealand and Thailand have a lot to offer each other. We have a strong mutual desire to build ...
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    1 week ago

  • Government consults on extending coastal permits for ports
    RMA Reform Minister Chris Bishop and Transport Minister Simeon Brown have today announced the Coalition Government’s intention to extend port coastal permits for a further 20 years, providing port operators with certainty to continue their operations. “The introduction of the Resource Management Act in 1991 required ports to obtain coastal ...
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    1 week ago

  • Inflation coming down, but more work to do
    Today’s announcement that inflation is down to 4 per cent is encouraging news for Kiwis, but there is more work to be done - underlining the importance of the Government’s plan to get the economy back on track, acting Finance Minister Chris Bishop says. “Inflation is now at 4 per ...
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    1 week ago

  • School attendance restored as a priority in health advice
    Refreshed health guidance released today will help parents and schools make informed decisions about whether their child needs to be in school, addressing one of the key issues affecting school attendance, says Associate Education Minister David Seymour. In recent years, consistently across all school terms, short-term illness or medical reasons ...
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    1 week ago

  • Unnecessary bureaucracy cut in oceans sector
    Oceans and Fisheries Minister Shane Jones is streamlining high-level oceans management while maintaining a focus on supporting the sector’s role in the export-led recovery of the economy. “I am working to realise the untapped potential of our fishing and aquaculture sector. To achieve that we need to be smarter with ...
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    1 week ago

  • Patterson promoting NZ’s wool sector at International Congress
    Associate Agriculture Minister Mark Patterson is speaking at the International Wool Textile Organisation Congress in Adelaide, promoting New Zealand wool, and outlining the coalition Government’s support for the revitalisation the sector.    "New Zealand’s wool exports reached $400 million in the year to 30 June 2023, and the coalition Government ...
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  • Removing red tape to help early learners thrive
    The Government is making legislative changes to make it easier for new early learning services to be established, and for existing services to operate, Associate Education Minister David Seymour says. The changes involve repealing the network approval provisions that apply when someone wants to establish a new early learning service, ...
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    1 week ago

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