Hahahaha, I think his/its thumb would look the same as a builders thumb, except not from being hit by a hammer, but rather from being sucked his/its whole life.
I mean, he really is a SUCKer who is not growing up.
As a Labour party member I see this as lame/petty and probably functions to turn away people from the Labour party. The party still needs to figure out what went so wrong in 2014 and shit like this ain’t going to help. Childish (sorry to children) and lame lame lame. Grow up, look inside the party and figure it out. Stop with this externalizing shit.
[This is not a Labour Party blog, Simon. TRP]
Are you envisaging something along these lines, Simon ?
Scenario One
NZ Labour Party Council member 1: “We need to figure out what went so wrong in 2014 and fast !!!”
NZ Labour Party Council member 2: “Believe me, we’re trying to but a relatively obscure Caption Contest on THE STANDARD blogsite is making it all but impossible !!!”
Scenario Two
Ordinary Punter: “I feel like it’s time to join the Labour Party and get active. I’ve had it up to here with this friggin government.”
Ordinary Punter’s Spouse: “Whoa there !!!, You do realise a Left-leaning Blog has recently posted a relatively obscure Caption Competition illustrated by a photo of John Key bathed in fluorescent blue light ?”
Ordinary Punter: “Awwww, for the love of God !!! They just blew it BIG TIME !!! I’m voting National.”
NZ Labour Party Council Member 1: I wonder why blue collar workers, students, teachers etc. are voting National?
NZ Labour Party Council Member 2: I’m not sure, but what I do know is that it has nothing to do with the widely held perception that we are a dysfunctional party, and the belief that a dysfunctional party will be disastrous for the country.
NZ Labour Party Council Member 3: I agree, the public understands that a collection of career politicians is exactly what the country needs. I mean, just look at the traction that Jacinda Ardern has made on the child poverty issue in the last 7 years. At this rate, it will only be a few decades before the government may be pushed to DEFINE poverty…imagine that.
Ordinary Punter: Nothing like seeing long time Labour party members posting links on twitter to childish caption competitions for the PM. Not at all congruent with the perception that the Labour party is a college of self interested sycophants who seem totally unable to get their collective heads out of their collective asses and do what needs to be done to make the party relevant again.
I find it amusing when people use the word “look” in their sentences. It happens when people are trying to assert a false sense of authority into their words.
I giggle to myself, knowing that the person using it in sentences, is insecure about themselves, so hide that insecurity by ensuring to inject false authority into their speech.
Once again, I just laugh to myself when I hear it.
Instead of a caption, I’ll do some song lyrics (based on the crooked thumb in the image)
Verse 1
There was a crooked man
with a crooked little grin,
He had a crooked shirt
from a crooked rubbish bin,
He had a crooked view
with a crooked little back,
Lets all get together and give the
crooked man the sack.
Verse 2
He had a crooked “friend”
with a crooked little smile,
He had some crooked money
for a crooked little while,
They all lived together on a
crooked little earth
When all is said and done,
he had such little worth.
Verse 3
There was a crooked day
when he sold his crooked soul,
Attaining massive wealth
was his one and only goal,
He pushed all others down just to
put himself on top,
There surely comes a time when
all of this must stop.
Please add your own verse if you can, but make sure it rhymes.
There’ll come a looked for day
when we all will well agree
That we put full and final paid
to this crooked little spree;
We all go down to the polling place
on that day before it’s dark,
and upon the voting paper
we place our crooked mark.
The box for crooked National
We intentionally leave blank,
cos to vote for them we still get all
the same collective wank;
our crooked little tick we place
in some progressive box,
and with red or green or pinkish hue
give blue the crooked pox.
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The growth of Treaty of Waitangi clauses in legislation caused so much worry that a special oversight group was set up by the last government in a bid to get greater coherence in the public service on Treaty matters. When ministers first considered the need for tighter oversight in 2021, there ...
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Kiwis are still waiting for their promised cost of living support after 100 days of a National Government that is taking us backwards, Labour Leader Chris Hipkins said today. ...
The National Government has spent its first 100 days stopping, cutting and reversing. They have scrapped stuff for stuff for the sake of it, without putting up any solutions of their own â and itâs hardworking New Zealanders who will pay for it. ...
100 days of National taking NZ backwardsThe National Government has spent its first 100 days stopping, cutting and reversing. They have scrapped stuff for stuff for the sake of it, without putting up any solutions of their own â and itâs hardworking New Zealanders who will pay for it. ...
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The Governmentâs proposed changes to Firearms Prohibition Orders (FPO) add almost nothing new and are merely an attempt to distract from its plans to loosen gun laws, police spokesperson Ginny Andersen and justice spokesperson Dr Duncan Webb said. ...
The great Victorian era English politician Lord Macauley stood in the British House of Parliament and said, "The gallery in which the reporters sit has become a fourth estate of the realm". He understood and outlined even way back then, the significant role and influence media have in a democracy. ...
The governmentâs attack on MÄori health this week is committing tangata-whenua to a premature death, says Te PÄti MÄori. âThe government have begun their onslaught on MÄori health with the abolishment of the MÄori Health Authority and smokefree laws in the same dayâ said health spokesperson and co-leader, Debbie Ngarewa-Packer. ...
Today marks a tragic milestone for New Zealanders as the Coalition Government side with big tobacco to repeal the Smokefree Environments and Regulated Products (Smoked Tobacco) Amendment Act 2022, Labour Leader Chris Hipkins and Labour Health spokesperson Ayesha Verrall said. ...
New Zealandâs social workers are qualified, experienced, and more representative of the communities they serve, Social Development and Employment Minister Louise Upston says. âI want to acknowledge and applaud New Zealandâs social workers for the hard work they do, providing invaluable support for our most vulnerable. âTo coincide with World ...
Cabinet has agreed to a reduced road user charge (RUC) rate for plug-in hybrid electric vehicles (PHEVs), Transport Minister Simeon Brown says. Owners of PHEVs will be eligible for a reduced rate of $38 per 1,000km once all light electric vehicles (EVs) move into the RUC system from 1 April. ...
Minister of Agriculture and Trade, Todd McClay, says that todayâs opening of Riverland Foods manufacturing plant in Christchurch is a great example of how trade access to overseas markets creates jobs in New Zealand. Speaking at the official opening of this state-of-the-art pet food factory the Minister noted that exports ...
Minister of Foreign Affairs Winston Peters met with Chinese Foreign Minister Wang Yi in Wellington today. âIt was a pleasure to host Foreign Minister Wang Yi during his first official visit to New Zealand since 2017. Our discussions were wide-ranging and enabled engagement on many facets of New Zealandâs relationship with China, including trade, ...
KÄinga Ora â Homes & Communities has been instructed to end the Sustaining Tenancies Framework and take stronger measures against persistent antisocial behaviour by tenants, says Housing Minister Chris Bishop. âEarlier today Finance Minister Nicola Willis and I sent an interim Letter of Expectations to the Board of KÄinga Ora. ...
TÄna koutou katoa. Greetings everyone. Thank you to the Auckland Chamber of Commerce and the Honourable Simon Bridges for hosting this address today. I acknowledge the business leaders in this room, the leaders and governors, the employers, the entrepreneurs, the investors, and the wealth creators. The coalition Government shares your ...
Minister Winston Peters completed the final leg of his visit to South and South East Asia in Singapore today, where he focused on enhancing one of New Zealandâs indispensable strategic partnerships. Â Â Â âSingapore is our most important defence partner in South East Asia, our fourth-largest trading partner and a ...
Minister of Internal Affairs and Workplace Relations and Safety, Hon. Brooke van Velden, will travel to the Republic of Korea to represent New Zealand at the Third Summit for Democracy on 18 March. The summit, hosted by the Republic of Korea, was first convened by the United States in 2021, ...
ICNZ Speech 7 March 2024, Auckland Acknowledgements and opening MĆrena, ngÄ mihi nui. Ko Andrew Bayly aho, Nor Whanganui aho. Good morning, itâs a privilege to be here to open the ICNZ annual conference, thank you to Mark for the Mihi Whakatau My thanks to Tim Grafton for inviting me ...
Prime Minister Christopher Luxon and Lead Coordination Minister Judith Collins have expressed their deepest sympathy on the five-year anniversary of the Christchurch terror attacks. âMarch 15, 2019, was a day when families, communities and the country came together both in sorrow and solidarity,â Mr Luxon says. âToday we pay our respects to the 51 shuhada ...
Speech for Financial Advice NZ Conference 5 March 2024 Acknowledgements and opening Morena, Nga Mihi Nui. Ko Andrew Bayly aho, Nor Whanganui aho. Thanks Nate for your Mihi Whakatau Good morning. Itâs a pleasure to formally open your conference this morning. What a lovely day in Wellington, What a great ...
Foreign Minister Winston Peters held discussions in Jakarta today about the future of relations between New Zealand and South East Asiaâs most populous country. Â âWe are in Jakarta so early in our new governmentâs term to reflect the huge importance we place on our relationship with Indonesia and South ...
Deputy Prime Minister and Minister of Foreign Affairs Winston Peters has announced that the Foreign Minister of China, Wang Yi, will visit New Zealand next week. âWe look forward to re-engaging with Foreign Minister Wang Yi and discussing the full breadth of the bilateral relationship, which is one of New Zealandâs ...
Transport Minister Simeon Brown has today opened the new Auckland Rail Operations Centre, which will bring together KiwiRail, Auckland Transport, and Auckland One Rail to improve service reliability for Aucklanders. âThe recent train disruptions in Auckland have highlighted how important it is KiwiRail and Aucklandâs rail agencies work together to ...
The Government is proud to support the 10th edition of Crankworx Rotorua as the Crankworx World Tour returns to Rotorua from 16-24 March 2024, says Minister for Economic Development Melissa Lee. âOver the past 10 years as Crankworx Rotorua has grown, so too have the economic and social benefits that ...
Legislation implementing coalition Government tax commitments and addressing long-standing tax anomalies will be progressed in Parliament next week, Finance Minister Nicola Willis says. The legislation is contained in an Amendment Paper to the Taxation (Annual Rates for 2023â24, Multinational Tax, and Remedial Matters) Bill issued today. âThe Amendment Paper represents ...
Associate Environment Minister Andrew Hoggard has today announced that the Government has agreed to suspend the requirement for councils to comply with the Significant Natural Areas (SNA) provisions of the National Policy Statement for Indigenous Biodiversity for three years, while it replaces the Resource Management Act (RMA).âAs it stands, SNAs ...
Agriculture Minister Todd McClay has classified the drought conditions in the Marlborough, Tasman, and Nelson districts as a medium-scale adverse event, acknowledging the challenging conditions facing farmers and growers in the district. âParts of Marlborough, Tasman, and Nelson districts are in the grip of an intense dry spell. I know ...
The Government is helping farmers eradicate the significant impact of facial eczema (FE) in pastoral animals, Agriculture Minister Todd McClay announced. âA $20 million partnership jointly funded by Beef + Lamb NZ, the Government, and the primary sector will save farmers an estimated NZD$332 million per year, and aims to ...
Foreign Minister Winston Peters has completed a successful visit to India, saying it was an important step in taking the relationship between the two countries to the next level.  âWe have laid a strong foundation for the Coalition Governmentâs priority of enhancing New Zealand-India relations to generate significant future benefit for both countries,â says Mr Peters, ...
Cabinet has agreed to provide $7 million to ensure the 2024 ski season can go ahead on the Whakapapa ski field in the central North Island but has told the operator Ruapehu Alpine Lifts it is the last financial support it will receive from taxpayers. Cabinet also agreed to provide ...
Health Minister Dr Shane Reti says the launch of a new mobile breast screening unit in Counties Manukau reinforces the coalition Governmentâs commitment to drive better cancer services for all New Zealanders. Speaking at the launch of the new mobile clinic, Dr Reti says itâs a great example of taking ...
Health Minister Dr Shane Reti says the launch of a new mobile breast screening unit in Counties Manukau reinforces the coalition Governmentâs commitment to drive better cancer services for all New Zealanders. Speaking at the launch of the new mobile clinic, Dr Reti says itâs a great example of taking ...
Unlocking economic growth and land for housing are critical elements of the Governmentâs plan for our transport network, and planned upgrades to State Highway 29 (SH29) near Tauriko will deliver strongly on those priorities, Transport Minister Simeon Brown says. âThe SH29 upgrades near Tauriko will improve safety at the intersections ...
Unlocking economic growth and land for housing are critical elements of the Governmentâs plan for our transport network, and planned upgrades to State Highway 29 (SH29) near Tauriko will deliver strongly on those priorities, Transport Minister Simeon Brown says. âThe SH29 upgrades near Tauriko will improve safety at the intersections ...
Lower fruit and vegetable prices are welcome news for New Zealanders who have been doing it tough at the supermarket, Finance Minister Nicola Willis says. Stats NZ reported today the price of fruit and vegetables has dropped 9.3 percent in the 12 months to February 2024. âLower fruit and vege ...
TÄnÄ koutou katoa and greetings to you all. Chair, I am honoured to address the sixty-eighth session of the Commission on the Status of Women. I acknowledge the many crises impacting the rights of women and girls. Heightened global tensions, war, climate related and humanitarian disasters, and price inflation all ...
TÄnÄ koutou katoa and greetings to you all. Chair, I am honoured to address the 68th session of the Commission on the Status of Women. I acknowledge the many crises impacting the rights of women and girls. Heightened global tensions, war, climate related and humanitarian disasters, and price inflation all ...
The coalition Government is supporting farmers to enhance land management practices by investing $3.3 million in locally led catchment groups, Agriculture Minister Todd McClay announced. âFarmers and growers deliver significant prosperity for New Zealand and itâs vital their ongoing efforts to improve land management practices and water quality are supported,â ...
Good evening everyone and thank you for that lovely introduction.  Thank you also to the Honourable Simon Bridges for the invitation to address your members. Since being sworn in, this coalition Government has hit the ground running with our 100-day plan, delivering the changes that New Zealanders expect of us. ...
Recommendations from the Climate Change Commission for New Zealand on the Emissions Trading Scheme (ETS) auction and unit limit settings for the next five years have been tabled in Parliament, Climate Change Minister Simon Watts says. âThe Commission provides advice on the ETS annually. This is the third time the ...
The coalition Government is beginning its fight to lower building costs and reduce red tape by exempting minor building work from paying the building levy, says Building and Construction Minister Chris Penk. âCurrently, any building project worth $20,444 including GST or more is subject to the building levy which is ...
Proposed changes to tax legislation to prevent the over-taxation of low-earning trusts are welcome, Finance Minister Nicola Willis says. The changes have been recommended by Parliamentâs Finance and Expenditure Committee following consideration of submissions on the Taxation (Annual Rates for 2023â24, Multinational Tax, and Remedial Matters) Bill. âOne of the ...
Assalaamu alaikum. ۧÙŰłÙÙÙÙŰ§Ù ŰčÙÙÙÙ In light of the holy month of Ramadan, I want to extend my warmest wishes to our Muslim community in New Zealand. Ramadan is a time for spiritual reflection, renewed devotion, perseverance, generosity, and forgiveness. Itâs a time to strengthen our bonds and appreciate the diversity ...
Former Transport Minister and CEO of the Auckland Business Chamber Hon Simon Bridges has been appointed as the new Board Chair of the New Zealand Transport Agency (NZTA) for a three-year term, Transport Minister Simeon Brown announced today. âSimon brings extensive experience and knowledge in transport policy and governance to the role. He will ...
Good morning all, it is a pleasure to be here as Minister of Science, Innovation and Technology. It is fantastic to see how connected and collaborative the life science and biotechnology industry is here in New Zealand. I would like to thank BioTechNZ and NZTech for the invitation to address ...
Regional Development Minister Shane Jones says he is looking forward to the day when three key water projects in Northland are up and running, unlocking the full potential of land in the region. Mr Jones attended a community event at the site of the Otawere reservoir near Kerikeri on Friday. ...
Associate Finance Minister David Seymour has today announced that the Government has agreed to restore deductibility for mortgage interest on residential investment properties. âHelp is on the way for landlords and renters alike. The Governmentâs restoration of interest deductibility will ease pressure on rents and simplify the tax code,â says ...
Sport and Recreation Minister Chris Bishop will travel to Switzerland today to attend an Executive Committee meeting and Symposium of the World Anti-Doping Agency (WADA). Mr Bishop will then travel on to London where he will attend a series of meetings in his capacity as Infrastructure Minister. âNew Zealanders believe ...
This yearâs Pacific Language Weeks celebrate regional unity and the contribution of Pacific communities to New Zealand culture, says Minister for Pacific Peoples Dr Shane Reti. Dr Reti announced dates for the 2024 Pacific Language Weeks during a visit to the Pasifika festival in Auckland today and says thereâs so ...
The band has asked their record label to issue a cease and desist to stop the NZ First leader using their 1997 hit to support his âmisguided political viewsâ. âI get knocked down, but I get up again,â blared through the speakers on Sunday as Winston Peters took the stage ...
By Lydia Lewis, RNZ Pacific journalist Food rationing is underway in remote areas in Papua New Guineaâs Highlands following torrential rain and flash flooding. More than 20 people have been reported dead in Chimbu Province. In nearby Enga Province, the centre of last monthâs massacre, a 15-year-old boy has been ...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Andrew Hughes, Lecturer, Research School of Management, Australian National University After months of debate and intrigue, the AFLâs 19th and newest team, the Tasmania Devils, finally launched its jumper, logo and colours in Devonport this week. The Devils will wear green, ...
Brannavan Gnanalingam reviews the debut novel by Saraid de Silva.One of the most baffling things for children who move to a new country is what their parentsâ (or grandparentsâ) lives were like prior to moving â for kids in particular, theyâre too busy trying to fit in in their ...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Stephen Gaunson, Associate Professor in Cinema Studies, RMIT University Narelle Portanier/Binge âIf you donât know who your mob are, you donât know who you are,â Detective Andrea âAndieâ Whitford (played by Leah Purcell) is told early into the new crime ...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Elise Klein, Associate professor, Australian National University Itâs commonly accepted that women do the vast majority of caregiving in Australian society. But less appreciated is that Indigenous women do larger amounts of unpaid care than any other group. Working with the Aboriginal ...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Adrian Beaumont, Election Analyst (Psephologist) at The Conversation; and Honorary Associate, School of Mathematics and Statistics, The University of Melbourne Joe Biden and Donald Trump have both secured their partiesâ nominations for the November 5 United States general election by winning a ...
Comment: There has been a striking contrast in trans-Tasman interest about Chinese foreign minister Wang Yiâs visit to New Zealand and Australia. While the Australian press has been full of articles about the visit â including his curious decision to meet with former prime minister and China booster Paul Keating ...
After years of pressuring banks and other institutions to stop investing in fossil fuels, climate campaigners are making some progress. So how does divestment work?For years, climate activists have been pushing banks and other big institutions to divest from fossil fuels. New research from climate advocacy group 350 Aotearoa ...
For Boba, Ethan and Ashley, K-pop is a place to belong, a way to express themselves, and a bridge to connect with others. The three young Polynesians are part of a K-pop fan community in TÄmaki Makaurau. Itâs one of many that have sprung up worldwide as K-pop has gone ...
For Boba, Ethan and Ashley, K-pop is a place to belong, a way to express themselves, and a bridge to connect with others. This one-off documentary presents three intimate portraits of young Polynesians who are pulled into a Korean cultural phenomenon. K-POLYS is directed by Litia Tuiburelevu, Produced by Hex ...
Thereâs ample evidence demonstrating free school lunch programmes provide wide benefits across schools, households and communities according to public health researchers. ACT Minister David Seymour wants to reduce the spending on Aotearoa New Zealandâs ...
By Wata Shaw in Suva Fiji is facing an exodus of Fijians as many are leaving for overseas seeking employment and education and others are migrating, says Opposition MP Viliame Naupoto. Speaking in Parliament, he said: âHis Excellencyâs speech (Ratu Wiliame Katonivere) comes after a little over one year of ...
The Taxpayersâ Union is welcoming comments from Christopher Luxon this morning recommitting to âno new taxesâ as part of Budget 2024. âMr Luxonâs refusal at the Post-Cabinet press conference yesterday to repeat the âno new taxesâ promise ...
SAFE is urgently calling on the Environment Committee to reject the Governmentâs Fast-Track Approvals Bill, and is urging New Zealanders to rally behind the call. The proposed Bill, currently under consideration with the Environment select committee, ...
Teammates who spend all their time picking fights with spectators are only helpful for the other team, writes Madeleine Chapman. Anyone who has ever played a team sport competitively, particularly as a child and particularly, for some reason, basketball, will know that thereâs a lot of politics involved. While there ...
The long-running Wellington music festival is too focused on the Jim Beam-ness and not enough on the Homegrown-ness.There is something about Homegrown thatâs difficult to place. A barely perceptible-ness. Like feeling a ghost is watching you from the corner of the room but when you look, thereâs nothing there. ...
The latest Ipsos New Zealand Issues Monitor reveals that fewer New Zealanders believe crime / law and order is one of the top issues facing our country. In 2018, Ipsos New Zealand started tracking the key issues facing New Zealand. In this wave ...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Kate Griffiths, Deputy Program Director, Budgets and Government, Grattan Institute Australiaâs political donations rules are woefully inadequate, but donations reform is finally on the agenda. The federal government has signalled its interest in reform and will soon begin briefing MPs on its ...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Mark Patrick Taylor, Chief Environmental Scientist, EPA Victoria; Honorary Professor, School of Natural Sciences, Macquarie University Naiyana Somchitkaeo/Shutterstock A recent study published in the prestigious New England Journal of Medicine has linked microplastics with risk to human health. The study ...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Albert Van Dijk, Professor, Water and Landscape Dynamics, Fenner School of Environment & Society, Australian National University Global climate records were shattered in 2023, from air and sea temperatures to sea-level rise and sea-ice extent. Scores of countries recorded their hottest year ...
As part of our series exploring how New Zealanders live and our relationship with money, a teacher explains why he and his partner are in frugal mode â and how theyâre making it work. Gender: Male Age: 35Ethnicity: PÄkehÄ Role: I am an intermediate school teacher and my partner is ...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Sarah Bendall, Senior Lecturer, Institute for Humanities and Social Sciences, Australian Catholic University Binge Mary & George, the new British television drama series, depicts the real-life story of Mary Villiers and her son George, and their social climbing at the ...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Jason Nassios, Associate Professor, Centre of Policy Studies, Victoria University This article is part of The Conversationâs series examining the housing crisis. Read the other articles in the series here. Australian state and federal governments spend money in many ways to ...
The finance minister is denying that thereâs a $5.6b shortfall in paying for the governmentâs campaign promises, including tax cuts. At his post-cabinet press conference yesterday, the PM refused to rule out new taxes to pay for the cuts, writes Anna Rawhiti-Connell in this excerpt from The Bulletin, The Spinoffâs ...
KÄinga Ora tenants abused by their neighbours are doubting the government's crackdown on disruptive tenants will make a difference on their behaviour. ...
KÄinga Ora is New Zealandâs biggest residential landlord, housing more than 180,000 vulnerable people in more than 67,000 properties. Yesterday the government announced a crackdown on its tenants who fall behind on rent. One longtime KÄinga Ora tenant shares her experience.For 18 years I lived in a 1960s standalone ...
Why does this myth persist, and whatâs the real reason our skin is suffering?Itâs one of the biggest international grievances New Zealanders hold, up there with the sinking of the Rainbow Warrior and 1981âs underarm incident. Weâre quick to tell international travellers that the worldâs pollution led to the ...
SailGPâs races feature in-your-face action, with agile, hydro-foiling catamarans tacking and jibing for the title over several days. However, public comments ahead of the global seriesâ return to New Zealand have left this past yearâs controversy in the shadows, as a key appointment attracts criticism from dolphin advocates. A year ...
Opinion: We are fast approaching a fundamental change in prisons. As the number of people on custodial remand looks set to overtake the number of sentenced prisoners, the main function of prisons in New Zealand may become incarcerating un-sentenced people who may not be guilty of offending. We have already ...
A huge seven months lies in store for the White Ferns, beginning this week with the visit of England and culminating with the T20 World Cup in Bangladesh in September and October. Starting on Tuesday in Dunedin, the world ranked No. 2 visitors will play five T20s and three ODIs, ...
Opinion: In a move that has shocked road safety advocates across the country, the new Minister of Transport, Simeon Brown, is poised to abandon the previous government’s speed limit reduction policy, particularly around schools. Even more alarmingly, he wants school speed limits to be variable rather than full-time, arguing ...
Auckland Council is opposing a fast-track development backed by Sir John Kirwan and Spark NZ, because it doesn’t meet stringent new climate adaptation requirements The post Surf-data centre faces new 3.8C climate warming rules appeared first on Newsroom. ...
When the Criminal Proceeds (Recovery) Act was introduced in 2009 it was firmly targeted at gangs and drugs. The legislation means police no longer need a conviction to seize assets that criminals can’t prove were paid for legitimately, as long as their alleged offences are punishable by more than a ...
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Bobâs relationship with certain members of Lincolnâs academic staff continued to deteriorate in the 1990s. Others supported him publicly, though articles such as Roland Clarkâs 1993 piece in Growing Today cannot have pleased the university management. Clark wrote that Bob was selling onions from the Biological Husbandry Unit to a ...
The letters, which were published last week, were addressed to Indonesian Democratic Party of Struggle (PDI-P) Chairperson Megawati Sukarnoputri, National Democrat Party (NasDem) Chairperson Surya Paloh, National Awakening Party (PKB) Chairperson Muhaimin Iskandar, Justice and Prosperity Party (PKS) President Ahmad Syaikhu and United Development Party (PPP) Chairperson Muhammad Mardiono. In ...
Evicting more people from state housing is ignorant to the consequences of poverty, the Greens say, but the Housing Minister says it's a privilege that can be taken away if abused. ...
Evicting more people from state housing is ignorant to the consequences of poverty, the Greens say, but the Housing Minister says it's a privilege that can be taken away if abused. ...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Emerald L King, Lecturer in Humanities, University of Tasmania IMDB Between Netflixâs 2023 live-action version of One Piece, and its latest take on Avatar: The Last Airbender, fans are once again asking: why are live-action anime adaptations so tricky to ...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Emerald L King, Lecturer in Humanities, University of Tasmania IMDB Between Netflixâs 2023 live-action version of One Piece, and its latest take on Avatar: The Last Airbender, fans are once again asking: why are live-action anime adaptations so tricky to ...
The government says it still intends to deliver tax cuts by July, but will not lock them in until they have got them past their coalition partners. ...
Kiingi Tuheitia Pootatau Te Wherowhero VII has hosted members of the Green Party Caucus at Tuurangawaewae Marae in Ngaaruawahia. The audience follows the Kingâs Hui-aa-Motu on 20 January, where more than 10,000 people gathered to discuss national ...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Dr Rachael Potter, Research Associate and Lecturer in Work and Organisational Psychology, University of South Australia Ground Picture/Shutterstock Pregnant women and workers with children are often unfairly treated by their bosses and colleagues, despite laws to protect against workplace discrimination ...
Reacting to Prime Minister Christopher Luxonâs refusal to rule out introducing new taxes at the budget, Taxpayersâ Union Campaigns Manager, Connor Molloy, said: âTodayâs refusal to rule out new taxes suggests the Government is nothing more ...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Stephen Duckett, Honorary Enterprise Professor, School of Population and Global Health, and Department of General Practice and Primary Care, The University of Melbourne Aila Images/Shutterstock Aged-care workers will receive a significant pay increase after the Fair Work Commission ruled they ...
Heâs bringing âSophieâ back, yeah. Goodshirtâs âSophieâ music video is one of the most instantly recognisable New Zealand music videos of all time. Featuring a woman listening to the song on headphones while her entire house is burgled behind her, the video won the New Zealand music award for Best ...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By John Blaxland, Professor, Strategic and Defence Studies Centre, Australian National University A year ago, the AUKUS agreement was formally announced between Australian and UK Prime Ministers Anthony Albanese and Rishi Sunak and US President Joe Biden. The agreement mapped out the âoptimal ...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Andreas Helwig, Associate Professor, Electro-Mechanical Engineering, University of Southern Queensland SmartS/Shutterstock Steam locomotives clattering along railway tracks. Paddle steamers churning down the Murray. Dreadnought battleships powered by steam engines. Many of us think the age of steam has ended. ...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Carrie Leonetti, Associate Professor of Law, University of Auckland, Waipapa Taumata Rau Victims who experience family violence in Aotearoa New Zealand are treated differently, depending on which part of the justice system they turn to for help. But a new memberâs bill ...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Peter Tesch, Visiting Fellow at the ANU Centre for European Studies, Australian National University In perhaps the least surprising news of the year, Vladimir Putin has triumphed at the Russian ballot box and been enthroned for the fifth time as president. He ...
The Papua New Guinea Supreme Court has stopped a byelection for the Madang Open seat being held until an appeal filed by former MP Bryan Kramer is concluded. Kramer had appealed to the Supreme Court over a National Court decision not to review his application of the Leadership Tribunal decision ...
By Miriam Zarriga in Port Moresby Despite a âhistoricâ ceasefire agreement in Papua New Guinea between Enga authorities and tribal leaders after months of bitter warfare, a young woman has been found brutally killed near Kaekin village, Wapenamanda. Despite the peace agreement and signing concluded in Port Moresby last Thursday ...
The second season of Ryan Murphyâs Feud is a sadder and slower entry into his canon of true story-telling, leaning heavily on a verdict about the cost of a single work of art. Hollywood heavyweight Ryan Murphy has had a bit of âickâ about him in the last few years. ...
Are you deeply passionate about sharing MÄori stories? Weâre on the hunt for an experienced writer/editor to lead coverage in our Ätea section.Ätea is a deeply valued section of The Spinoff site, offering MÄori perspectives and insights across politics, current affairs and culture. We are thrilled to be looking ...
By Aisha Azeemah in Suva With the lights on one of his sneakers blinking as he ran through the gallery, a little boy looked up at several works of art. One of them was a sculpture of his grandfather: the man who changed how we see the Pacific â Epeli ...
WHAT: Uber drivers are holding a rally outside the Court of Appeal in Wellington tomorrow, as the company begins its appeal against 2022âs Employment Court verdict (in a case taken jointly by FIRST Union and E tĆ«) that four drivers were permanent ...
RNZ Pacific The Fiji Meteorological Service has a heavy rain warning still in place for the whole of the country after a weekend of flooding, although some floodwaters have receded. Flood and flash flood warnings and alerts are also in place, including a warning for all flash flood-prone areas, small ...
jeepers John, but the label said there might be a blue tinge from those pills ….
“It’s a recessive gene trait, John, called hitchhiker’s thumb; you’ll be needing it in 2017.”
They said that in 2008, and 2011, and 2014 …. its getting old.
Remember though, James, that this is Simon Bridges saying it…….. đ
The other Smurfs preferred not to talk about Evil Smurf with strangers.
New Zealand Prime Minister John Key tries Colloidal silver in a bid to reverse his near-terminal rampant narcissism.
You may like the following book very much…
http://manipulism.com/
or
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLfNI5HyhCb7uHKFF7YKYGEJniWb-A2xI_
You have the choice of paperback, ebook, or audio-book.
Enjoy.
Beam me up E.T I’m all done here with exterminating the human race!
“So John you know how it goes… the temptation was too much…so I just grabbed her ponytail and just cut it like this.’
“Oh nice…not only are you a great pollster David but your very creepy too.. I like your style.”
Key laughs off a real builder’s thumb with “mine looks a lot worse than that!”
Hahahaha, I think his/its thumb would look the same as a builders thumb, except not from being hit by a hammer, but rather from being sucked his/its whole life.
I mean, he really is a SUCKer who is not growing up.
“Willy Wonka’s? Never heard of the place!”
JK preparing for new role in Las Vegas
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aEWEHJuowLA
But Blue Man Group believe in climate change …
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snPdEl0Duoo
John Key demonstrates his firefly GE patch.
Admits that Bronwyn may problems sleeping, but says that he is relaxed about that.
Prime Minister stuck inside Novopay system in real life TRON thriller.
Its the worse case of “Blue Balls” they had ever seen.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hL4DgUwfy2k
Better to have the Blues than be green with envy.
As a Labour party member I see this as lame/petty and probably functions to turn away people from the Labour party. The party still needs to figure out what went so wrong in 2014 and shit like this ain’t going to help. Childish (sorry to children) and lame lame lame. Grow up, look inside the party and figure it out. Stop with this externalizing shit.
[This is not a Labour Party blog, Simon. TRP]
Are you envisaging something along these lines, Simon ?
Scenario One
NZ Labour Party Council member 1: “We need to figure out what went so wrong in 2014 and fast !!!”
NZ Labour Party Council member 2: “Believe me, we’re trying to but a relatively obscure Caption Contest on THE STANDARD blogsite is making it all but impossible !!!”
Scenario Two
Ordinary Punter: “I feel like it’s time to join the Labour Party and get active. I’ve had it up to here with this friggin government.”
Ordinary Punter’s Spouse: “Whoa there !!!, You do realise a Left-leaning Blog has recently posted a relatively obscure Caption Competition illustrated by a photo of John Key bathed in fluorescent blue light ?”
Ordinary Punter: “Awwww, for the love of God !!! They just blew it BIG TIME !!! I’m voting National.”
NZ Labour Party Council Member 1: I wonder why blue collar workers, students, teachers etc. are voting National?
NZ Labour Party Council Member 2: I’m not sure, but what I do know is that it has nothing to do with the widely held perception that we are a dysfunctional party, and the belief that a dysfunctional party will be disastrous for the country.
NZ Labour Party Council Member 3: I agree, the public understands that a collection of career politicians is exactly what the country needs. I mean, just look at the traction that Jacinda Ardern has made on the child poverty issue in the last 7 years. At this rate, it will only be a few decades before the government may be pushed to DEFINE poverty…imagine that.
Ordinary Punter: Nothing like seeing long time Labour party members posting links on twitter to childish caption competitions for the PM. Not at all congruent with the perception that the Labour party is a college of self interested sycophants who seem totally unable to get their collective heads out of their collective asses and do what needs to be done to make the party relevant again.
PM or Blue Waffle
I want you to roll John Beaurgarde into the boat and take him along to the Juicing Room at once. ‘Kay?
PM eyes up thumb now that ponytail out of bounds.
+1 vote for this
Good TPPA deal? John Key Blue it
+ 100% – best caption yet, R@DS
John Key denies taking the money even though the dye pack discharge was sort of obvious.
Smurfin’ USSA
“I have worn the National Ring of Power on for so long now⊔
I’m bluer than blue…..
http://www.metrolyrics.com/bluer-than-blue-lyrics-barry-manilow.html
man takes love of Avatar to absurd lengths with permanent full body paintjob – when asked he said, “Nahfin to she hay mate”.
‘The Blue Man, also known as Eternal Evil, is a 1985 Canadian film directed by George Mihalka.’
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BinWA0EenDY
Ear worm
Look, at the end of the day, there wont be any side effects from the TPPA to worry about, I’m very comfortable with that.
Buy the way, luvin that fully erect thumb mate…
I find it amusing when people use the word “look” in their sentences. It happens when people are trying to assert a false sense of authority into their words.
I giggle to myself, knowing that the person using it in sentences, is insecure about themselves, so hide that insecurity by ensuring to inject false authority into their speech.
Once again, I just laugh to myself when I hear it.
Navi expelled from the tribe for deviance have their hair cut off, and can no longer form Tsaheylu.
I’m fine if I sit on a rock in the sun every morning for a hour or so…..
King Kull is here to see me? No, I’m not nervous in the least…
Wanker meets muppet
There’s no global warming, honest, look
Breaking news: Smurfs acquire rights to Nightmare on Elm Street franchise.
http://smurfs.wikia.com/wiki/Greedy_Smurf
http://smurfs.wikia.com/wiki/Clumsy_Smurf
“Whatever. We kiwis only take yeah, nah, maybe for an answer” – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2uCNd1AVJo
Or
“In the Court of the Blue King” – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MnQATA2jPXY
Cat’s foot iron claw
Neuro-surgeons scream for more
At paranoia’s poison door.
Twenty first century schizoid man.
Blood rack barbed wire
Politicians’ funeral pyre
Innocents raped with napalm fire
Twenty first century schizoid man.
Death seed blind man’s greed
Poets’ starving children bleed
Nothing he’s got he really needs
Twenty first century schizoid man
Cameron thanks Key for lenient tax laws with part in new Avatar movie.
Do I look bald in this light?
Instead of a caption, I’ll do some song lyrics (based on the crooked thumb in the image)
Verse 1
There was a crooked man
with a crooked little grin,
He had a crooked shirt
from a crooked rubbish bin,
He had a crooked view
with a crooked little back,
Lets all get together and give the
crooked man the sack.
Verse 2
He had a crooked “friend”
with a crooked little smile,
He had some crooked money
for a crooked little while,
They all lived together on a
crooked little earth
When all is said and done,
he had such little worth.
Verse 3
There was a crooked day
when he sold his crooked soul,
Attaining massive wealth
was his one and only goal,
He pushed all others down just to
put himself on top,
There surely comes a time when
all of this must stop.
Please add your own verse if you can, but make sure it rhymes.
There’ll come a looked for day
when we all will well agree
That we put full and final paid
to this crooked little spree;
We all go down to the polling place
on that day before it’s dark,
and upon the voting paper
we place our crooked mark.
The box for crooked National
We intentionally leave blank,
cos to vote for them we still get all
the same collective wank;
our crooked little tick we place
in some progressive box,
and with red or green or pinkish hue
give blue the crooked pox.
Haha, nice one.
chorus,………..
Ah ha
Oh oh don’t let the public know
Ah ah
Oh oh don’t let the public know
Ah ha
Oh oh don’t let the pubic know..
Oh yes Johns truths got a hole in it and John will frown.
Oh yes Johns truths got hole in it to bring him down.
Anything to Please Gargamel
ACT is not the only party with a holographic leader!
John Key doing an uncanny improvisation of âlying till youâre blue in the faceâ.
The Hitchhiker to the Galaxy trying to get away from John Key reciting Vogon poetry.
John Key overindulged on Fonterraâs blue cheese.
Reptilians prefer blue light.
Eyes are windows to the Soul.
John Key sees the Invisible Hand for the first time!
Dennis Hopper hooks his thumb left and says, “Get the fuck out of my movie”.
Robert A. Heinlein was right, as John Keys corporate alien puppet-master exposed in blue light of Trans Pacific Partnership Alert-ray beam.
You Muppets,,,I said i wanted to appear in a Blue Movie……!
Keys penis enhancement operation, went a tad awry!
Blue Loon, you saw me standing alone,
Without a dream in my heart
Without a love of my own…….
Keys set a very bad example,,after not donning his protective goggles at the sun bed convention
Take 34, Phewww, Lets try again John? Rock, Paper, Scissors???? Come on John…u must have a clue?
Flunkey offers privilege of rank to Keys…..Suck on My Thumb John……not your own!!!
Speak to the thumb John!!!!!!!
Only a few more minutes to go John…..Keep holding!!!!……..1001 1002 1003………….keep holding 1004 1005 1006 1007……………..
John relieves himself at new human Urinal and get the auto thumbs up to shake…
Noooooo it isn’t a book or a film of a play…..its you!…the thumb’s a dickhead.
RhapCatasophy In Blue
NZ PM, first to get Fired on The PM’s of the World Apprentice..show
Right John….if i add one thumb to one thumb and i take away one thumb what am i left with?
Now think!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68ugkg9RePc