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The Standard

Caption Contest

Written By: - Date published: 12:49 pm, November 23rd, 2012 - 82 comments
Categories: accountability, caption contest, david shearer, leadership - Tags:

82 comments on “Caption Contest”

  1. MikeD 1

    Ah.. um… ahh… well… the … ahh…

  2. bobo 2

    “You looking at me? I said are you looking at me ! “

  3. Treetop 3

    It has been such a l o n g week. TGIF.

  4. “Damn,did i get it all wrong 91″
    ‘Yes,Max, you did”

  5. Jimmie 5

    Is it me or does Shearer have an uncanny resemblance to Rodney Hide? (With a little extra hair of course and a few more wrinkles)

  6. McFlock 6

    “Call me ‘too nice’ now, motherfucker! I dare you – no, I double dare you!”

  7. One Tāne Huna 7

    I was talking to a constituent of mine the other day, and he tells me that David Cunliffe has been painting his roof. He said it wan’t fair and I agreed.

  8. McFlock 8

    “I don’t know what the fuck that is, but it sure looks like something I just scraped off my front bench”

  9. PlanetOrphan 9

    Where’s my magnifying glass ?, I’ve got a “White Ant” to burn 😈
    Gower get over here M8!

  10. Matthew 10

    “Give me wodka, i want to appear socialist”

  11. oscar 11

    I learned this look from the best warlord of Mogadishu… bitch!

  12. McFlock 12

    “I have had enough of these motherfucking snakes in this motherfucking caucus!”

  13. BlueSilver 13

    Why do I keep hearing John Key’s distant laugh ringing in my ears?

  14. Craig Glen Eden 14

    Read my lips, I play the meanest guitar and I write the song cos Im the leader I will always be the leader and I expect you all to pledge your allegiance for as long as you shall live.

  15. weka 15

    I hope those bastards at the Standard don’t find out I’ve got some darkened curtains and a computer screen of my own.

  16. Chalupa Batman 16

    “So David what is best in life?”

    “Crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women”

  17. BM 17

    I’m going to tear you a new arsehole Cunliffe.

  18. Te Reo Putake 18

    David Shearer reads a blog for the first time.

    Jeez, Trevor, who let Lynn Prentice into my conference?

    I can understand Cunliffe’s cheezy grin, but why is Robertson so cheerful?

    Whaddya mean we have no mango skins? How the heck are we going to end poverty then?

    Oi, you, get down off that roof, one of us could get hurt.

    If I try to look like Tony Soprano, do you think Cunliffe will back off?

  19. KhandallaMan 19

    Sh*t, why did I embellish my CV that much?  They believed all the war zone hero crap! Robertson is the only one who knows….I think. Mmmmmmm..should I trust him?

  20. Sunny 20

    The Mr Magoo of speaking ponders his next sound bite.

  21. Mikesh 21

    Hmmm … … … Can’t send the blighter to the Siberian salt mines. I wonder if Stewart Island would be far enough.

  22. Tom Gould 22

    Why is Cunliffe constantly posing, waving into the middle distance, again, like he knows someone in the crowd? Something Brian Edwards suggested he do, I guess?

  23. crashcart 23

    “If I look reeeeaaaaaaaly serious maybe people will take me seriously”

  24. Ant 24

    prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrtttt ……………. pfrrrrt … pfrrt

  25. Rogue Trooper 25

    Committee man keeps his enemies close

  26. fender 26

    Everybody (even Key) is calling me a “nice guy”. I might sound a little simple but I’m not, and I can read between the lines and realise nice guys finish last. I’ll show them I’m as batshit crazy as an Act Party candidate and do some irrational crazy shit wearing this demonic face that even Anthony Dixon couldn’t have done better.

    You WILL dance to my tune or else I’ll smash this guitar over your head.

  27. alex 27

    I think I should grow a beard.

    • Rhinocrates 27.1

      Time for a geek joke. Star Trek: The Next Generation was regarded as pants by Trekkies until Jonathan Frakes (playing 2nd in command Riker), grew a beard. Now “growing a beard” is their shorthand for finally getting your shit together – the opposite of “jumping the shark”.

  28. Mogadishu was never like this.

  29. Populuxe1 29

    Bring me Cunliffe’s heart in this box

  30. Who’s the best man in the front bench now

  31. Luc Hansen 31

    Do you feel lucky, punk?

  32. Tangled up in blue 32

    “Three more months boys, three more months.”

  33. Colonial Viper 33

    ROAR! See, I am the strong man of Labour!

  34. Populuxe1 34

    Mirror, Mirror, on the wall,
    Who is the anointed leader of the Labour Party after all? 

  35. Foreign Waka 35

    Focus, focus, focus, hold still……

  36. Roflcopter 36

    “That’s weird… it feels like there’s something stuck in my back”

  37. calltoaccount 37

    See my forehead? Guess where it’s going…

  38. Clashman 38

    Hi I’m John….no David my er name is er Dave um David.

  39. fustercluck 39

    Looking to the Left. With obvious distaste and suspicion.

  40. PlanetOrphan 40

    Caption contest on “The Standard” ? ya say …. yeah sure M8, any publicity etc (*wink*)
    OK how’s this look? …..
    Do you see a “Leader”?

  41. Rhinocrates 41

    Cunlife… smirking all the time…bastard. I’ll get him. Got to make a show of my authority. Robertson… smirking a lot too… don’t like him. Bastard. I’ll deal to him too. What’s Hipkins doing on telly? Hogging the limelight, that’s what. Bastard. I’ll get him next. Make a show of it. King? Been around, knows too much. Get her. Goff… clearly thinking of a comeback. Bastard. I’ll get him too. Mallard, now him… been there all the time, undermining everyone… I’ll get him. Bastard. Now about Shearer? Who’s that guy? Can’t pin him down. Doesn’t seem to believe in anything. clearly incompetent too – and paranoid. I’ll get him too. Bastard.

  42. Tim G. 42

    Jeez, I sure hope Hooten’s having another BBQ this summer, I could use some more advice.

  43. ‘Make my day Cunliffe,go on, vote for the 40/40/20 split,i dare you’

  44. Dr Terry 44

    I am in great fear – have I gagged everybody?

  45. Mary 45

    Okay, you’ve got me. It started out as a simple prank that got out of control – I really am Wayne Rooney posing as a Labour MP. It’s not my fault you fell for it and made me leader.

  46. geo 46

    “read my lips”

  47. mike e 47

    That fing little weasal gower

  48. Blue 48

    Take me to your leader.

  49. mac1 49

    “Am C D F
    Am C E7 E7
    Am C D F
    Am E7 Am”

  50. jaymam 50

    Do I look like a smiling assassin?

  51. RedBaron 51

    Loser

  52. Vicky32 52

    I see the babies are playing blogosphere again! :)
     
    (Not QoT’s this, is it? Or she’ll jump on me with her size 15 Doc Martins, and flatten me but good.) 😀

    • QoT 52.1

      Vicky, you’ll go far in life if you learn how to fucking read.

      Right up there? Under the big bold letters at the top of the post? It says “By: THE SPROUT”.

      This is how you and all the other Standard readers can tell who has made a particular post.

      I’m sorry I’m talking to you like you’re stupid, but the alternative explanation is that once again you just couldn’t help but make a pathetic dig at me for no actual reason, in a thread I’m not even involved in, because you have a truly infantile vendetta against me. So I figured “stupid” was the best conclusion to come to.

      • Vicky32 52.1.1

        but the alternative explanation is that once again you just couldn’t help but make a pathetic dig at me for no actual reason, in a thread I’m not even involved in, because you have a truly infantile vendetta against me.

        Sorry, I couldn’t resist! :)
        To misquote Alexei Sayle, “I prick pretension, but QoT is a pretentious prick”..

        • fender 52.1.1.1

          Seek help from a medical professional, you have an unhealthy obsession.

          • Vicky32 52.1.1.1.1

            Seek help from a medical professional, you have an unhealthy obsession.

            If you mean me. then get a sense of humour! Do you know what the crazy woman said and did the other day? That deserves me poking at her sense of self-importance a bit, hey?

  53. jaymam 53

    Oh all politicians look alike after they’ve been a leader for a while:
    http://i50.tinypic.com/2ev9kia.jpg

  54. xtasy 54

    THIS is NOT a LEADER, he is a “roof-painter’s enemy”!

  55. Ant 55

    ROOF SHOUT

  56. fender 56

    I can burn your portfolio just by staring real hard like this, but please don’t make me do it too often, ‘cos as you can see it makes my skin go all blotchy.

  57. Jim Nald 57

    ” If I am the answer for leading the Labour Party going into the general elections of 2014, what is the question ? “

  58. Saarbo 58

    Well um , I guess I seem to look OK, and ahh, my back story is strong but…… I don’t have any substance and wont really be any good for your long term well being…..”HONEY PUFFS!”

  59. newsense 59

    oho- Spidey sense- the Standard is running a caption contest on me this time! Success! Only 723 to catch Johnny boy…

  60. Ben 60

    Mogadishu, I lost a platoon of men there. They were ambushed and before I could say f…f…f…f…f…f…fire it was all over.

  61. CG 61

    Look!…I am left leaning!

  62. Binders full of women 62

    At least I’m not called a “top of the bus Herne Bay wigger” Nat Radio Sunday am.

  63. Ben 63

    I’ve sorted out Cunliffe, Mangogan style.

  64. Chooky 64

    Hmmmm…..I thought I heard Matthew Hooton say I was Leader of the National Party….Is Matthew going mad?….. or was I just hearing things ?

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