Written By: notices and features - Date published: 5:16 pm, December 10th, 2012 - 36 comments
Categories: caption contest, Judith Collins -
Tags: caption contest, judith collins
This one almost captions itself!
Vacuous incompetent poses unconvincingly for camera.
Leaked photo from secret National caucus Satan summoning.
Man makes effective horror film with just one photograph.
TVNZ introduces “Tory Kitchen Nightmares” in which MP Judith Collins is not invited (but goes anyway) by the owners to spend a week with a thriving restaurant in an attempt to ruin the business.
There you go – I’ve saved you the trouble
Garlic Crusher Collins.
Newsbreak: A Mad Cow has just broken out of the shed….. last seen wearing an apron….. anyone seeing this mad beast is urged to take great care. (Mugshot supplied)
No denying times is hard, sir!
Even harder than the worst pies in Nat-land.
Only lard and nothing more-
Is that just revolting?
All greasy and gritty?
It looks like it’s molting!
And tastes like…well pity.
A woman alone…with limited wind
And the worst pies in Nat-land!
-[with apologies to Sweeney Todd]
Welcome to my barbie, sweety.
Would you like grilled bull’s testicles or leader’s testicles with chips?
There’s a beer besides John’s famous Tui board to grab as well.
Have a good time!
Some of the most exciting bio-tech work is in the field of “intelli-fabrics”. This garment, called the “Freudian Slip”, contains bio sensors to “read” the wearer’s thoughts and display them dynamically as a word cloud.
And that was the last anyone ever saw of Steven Joyce.
Superb – I literally laughed out loud at that one.
I don’t mind dropping my sweetness mask for a short while. It just shows that I can wear whatever abuse that may be thrown at me and still come up smiling. I think all the put-downs the crowd knows are on there, they haven’t enough imagination for Abuse 202..
Argh that picture is too large and too collinsy
I was told UFO’s and big rigs were coming from outer space, stopping off at beehive looking for some food to eat. I didn’t want to disappoint them
This is a good photo of me, the lighting is good as it highlights my forehead implants. However my blouse is being sued for defamation by grannys curtains.
Walking proof “you can’t make/bake/fake a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.” literally!
After debilitating Key with her taser the Mad Cow prepares “Dear Leader Boil-up” while wearing his favourite “gay shirt”.
It’s out with the “Smiling Assassin” and in with the “Maddest Butcher”.
Cut “umm Mrs Piggy Collins… make room for the frog… Kermit Joyce… he has a new snake oil recipe for the gullible New Zealand public.”
No caption needed. Just print it out and send it to John Key as a Christmas card.
has she been butchering…flowers..?
Underneath this portable word cloud, I’m an emotional pink and white – a bit like chromatophores on a squid. Crusher Collins ? That was yesterday. Vote for me at the leadership spill and the snap election for an aotearoan republic.
The serfs would never guess.
I love confronting journalistic cliches. Quiche, anyone ? Squid pie ?
.. what’s a nice girl like me doing in a place like this ?
‘bullshit pie anyone?’
See I can be one of the boy’s, just like John. Yuk how do they drink that Beer stuff.
This image was originally captioned as
“The ACC’s new cowshed safety apron. I’ve told them to get a woman farmers one next.”
Source: Twitter feed on top left of photo, above.
Moral of the story, don’t walk in on your dead family, as all you will see is my smiling face.
… and that’s just my breakfast
Independence of the judiciary ? Uneconomic. I have Canadian judges for breakfast. Now, what was that small matter about Erebus ?
While I’m pleased my blouse wont get covered in my dribble, I don’t agree with what is printed on my new apron. NO! close your eyes I’m not letting you read it.
It’s all white meat now
I’m negotiating pork belly futures prices with my friend Miss Piggy ..
Bowels in or bowels out?
I am here to serve the public… but my friends will be served first….
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