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Caption contest

Written By: - Date published: 5:16 pm, December 10th, 2012 - 36 comments
Categories: caption contest, Judith Collins - Tags: ,

This one almost captions itself!

36 comments on “Caption contest”

  1. One Tāne Viper 1

    Vacuous incompetent poses unconvincingly for camera.

  2. mike 2

    Leaked photo from secret National caucus Satan summoning.

  3. mike 3

    Man makes effective horror film with just one photograph.

  4. bobo 4

    “Hello Clarice…”

  5. bobo 5

    TVNZ introduces “Tory Kitchen Nightmares” in which MP Judith Collins is not invited (but goes anyway) by the owners to spend a week with a thriving restaurant in an attempt to ruin the business.

  6. Akldnut - ASP 6

    There you go – I’ve saved you the trouble

  7. Conor 7

    Garlic Crusher Collins.

  8. Akldnut - ASP 8

    Newsbreak: A Mad Cow has just broken out of the shed….. last seen wearing an apron….. anyone seeing this mad beast is urged to take great care. (Mugshot supplied)

  9. karol 9

    No denying times is hard, sir!
    Even harder than the worst pies in Nat-land.
    Only lard and nothing more-
    Is that just revolting?
    All greasy and gritty?
    It looks like it’s molting!
    And tastes like…well pity.
    A woman alone…with limited wind
    And the worst pies in Nat-land!
    -[with apologies to Sweeney Todd]

  10. xtasy 10

    Welcome to my barbie, sweety.

    Would you like grilled bull’s testicles or leader’s testicles with chips?

    There’s a beer besides John’s famous Tui board to grab as well.

    Have a good time!

  11. felixviper 11

    Some of the most exciting bio-tech work is in the field of “intelli-fabrics”. This garment, called the “Freudian Slip”, contains bio sensors to “read” the wearer’s thoughts and display them dynamically as a word cloud.

  12. IrishBill 12

    And that was the last anyone ever saw of Steven Joyce.

  13. NoseViper (The Nose knows) 13

    I don’t mind dropping my sweetness mask for a short while. It just shows that I can wear whatever abuse that may be thrown at me and still come up smiling. I think all the put-downs the crowd knows are on there, they haven’t enough imagination for Abuse 202..

  14. geoff 14

    Argh that picture is too large and too collinsy

  15. I was told UFO’s and big rigs were coming from outer space, stopping off at beehive looking for some food to eat. I didn’t want to disappoint them

  16. fender/same sentiment less eloquent Viper 16

    This is a good photo of me, the lighting is good as it highlights my forehead implants. However my blouse is being sued for defamation by grannys curtains.

  17. Skinny 17

    Walking proof “you can’t make/bake/fake a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.” literally!

  18. fender/same sentiment less eloquent Viper 18

    After debilitating Key with her taser the Mad Cow prepares “Dear Leader Boil-up” while wearing his favourite “gay shirt”.

    It’s out with the “Smiling Assassin” and in with the “Maddest Butcher”.

  19. Skinny 19

    Cut “umm Mrs Piggy Collins… make room for the frog… Kermit Joyce… he has a new snake oil recipe for the gullible New Zealand public.”

  20. “Judas…..my precious…..”

  21. Huginn all God's Vipers 21

    No caption needed. Just print it out and send it to John Key as a Christmas card.

  22. CnrJoe 22

    has she been butchering…flowers..?

  23. post-colonial viper 23

    Underneath this portable word cloud, I’m an emotional pink and white – a bit like chromatophores on a squid. Crusher Collins ? That was yesterday. Vote for me at the leadership spill and the snap election for an aotearoan republic.

    The serfs would never guess.

    I love confronting journalistic cliches. Quiche, anyone ? Squid pie ?


    .. what’s a nice girl like me doing in a place like this ?

  24. marsman 24

    ‘bullshit pie anyone?’

  25. David Viperious H 25

    See I can be one of the boy’s, just like John. Yuk how do they drink that Beer stuff.

  26. post-colonial viper 26

    This image was originally captioned as

    “The ACC’s new cowshed safety apron. I’ve told them to get a woman farmers one next.”

    Source: Twitter feed on top left of photo, above.

  27. aerobubble 27

    Moral of the story, don’t walk in on your dead family, as all you will see is my smiling face.

  28. Tracey 28

    … and that’s just my breakfast

  29. post-colonial viper 29

    Independence of the judiciary ? Uneconomic. I have Canadian judges for breakfast. Now, what was that small matter about Erebus ?

  30. fender Viper 30

    While I’m pleased my blouse wont get covered in my dribble, I don’t agree with what is printed on my new apron. NO! close your eyes I’m not letting you read it.

  31. Pakeha-Jaffa 31

    It’s all white meat now

  32. Canuck Vipers for Justice 32

    I’m negotiating pork belly futures prices with my friend Miss Piggy ..

  33. Bowels in or bowels out?

  34. ANDRE 34

    I am here to serve the public… but my friends will be served first….

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