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Caption contest

Written By: - Date published: 2:10 pm, January 24th, 2014 - 64 comments
Categories: caption contest, election 2014 - Tags:

Key’s office yesterday released another of their Dear-Leader graphics, this one featuring an “inspirational” quote on education.  Here’s a blank version for you to add your own.



It will be hard to beat this contribution (via Twitter) from Mike Kilpatrick:


64 comments on “Caption contest”

  1. Hayden 1

    To borrow from Marty McFly:

    [You’d] better get used to these bars, kids.

    • Hayden 1.1

      Or to go the other way:

      You’re going to want something like this outside your subdivision by the time I’m finished.

  2. Enough is Enough 2

    Welcome to your worst nightmare

    Three more Year of Me

  3. Chooky 3

    “No thanks!….You are too old and ugly!”

  4. One Anonymous Knucklehead 4

    “Vote for me, we’re always looking for people in uniform who can hold a gate open.”

  5. Mainlander 5

    A politician that actually relates to people of all ages, a rare thing indeed

  6. geoff 6

    “Why are you smiling, there’s no bright future for you”

  7. Papa Tuanuku 7

    Bye dad, don’t forget to take your meds.

  8. Shrubbery 8

    Remember for when you grow up – always lock the gate behind you.

  9. Te Reo Putake 9

    Keep him talking, Kylie, security’s on the way.

  10. key:..

    ‘are you with me..?..or agin me..?’..

    phillip ure..

  11. key:..

    ..’have you seen blips’ list of my mincie-pies..?

    ..i’m so naughty..!..


    phillip ure..

  12. key:

    ..’i never got to be a teenager..

    ..’cos i was raised in a state house..


    phillip ure..

  13. key:

    “and then i said..then i said..to obama..’oh yeah..!..hahaha..!..

    ..we txt each other..!..


    phillip ure..

  14. key:..

    “..can you smell the oil and coal on my breath..?

    ..gotta mint..?..”

    phillip ure..

  15. key:..

    ‘no..!..it’s not true i’m a shape-shifting lizard..

    ..that’s just a green party rumour..!’

    ..phillip ure..

  16. key:..

    “..that way lies communism..!..”

    phillip ure..

  17. McFlock 17

    Our Glorious Leader maintains blokesy demeanour while escorting school fundraisers off his property – his entourage were responding to a “credible” security threat in the swimming pool of his Hawaiian residence.

  18. Skinny 18

    Male student: Hey Mr Key we are studying economics, the MSM are calling our economy a Rock Star economy.

    Key: Actually it’s true, you’ll do well at Crosby/Textor talking like that son.

    Female student: But Mr Key Standard & Poors have just down graded our rating… Ha ha that must make it a ‘Pop’ Star economy?

    Key: Young lady I better introduce you to Paula Bennett she will tell you of her early life..you sound like your heading that way.

  19. irascible 19

    “OK kids, we’ve finished the photo shoot. Make sure you return those uniforms to the Costume Hire shop” (THINKS ). Let’s all hope no one twigs that we had to do this photo using my gate as a school entrance during the school holidays.”

  20. risildowgtn 20

    Would you like a lolly

  21. aerobubble 21

    How did you get to be PM?

    Well I made the poor know they were poorer, the rich think they were richer and the middle look the other way.

  22. fender 22

    Oh I’m just eyeing up the property, can’t help but think it’s a waste of land use and could be better utilised by a mansion or two.

  23. Chooky 23

    I will give you a lolly if you don’t vote for Dotcom

  24. kousei 24

    Who knows what kind of world your children will inherit, long as we are right eh?

  25. ianmac 25

    “Don’t you kids know who I am?”

  26. key:..

    ‘are you on facebook..?

    ..i’m on facebook..’..

    phillip ure

  27. key:..

    “..what’s instagram..?..’

    phillip ure..

  28. Chooky 28

    “You know kids ….Dotcom hasn’t been on the front page of Women’s Weekly yet in his swimming togs….I have…”

  29. Lanthanide 29

    Hey, you kids ever done that ‘planking’ thing? My son Max Key is.

  30. Jenny 30

    Unknown guest seen hanging round at school gates.

    Police would like to talk to anyone who can identify him

  31. Jackal 31

    Now pish off! You’re too young to vote.

  32. greywarbler 32

    Just put your little finger through the bars so I can see if you’re ready for eating, said the Wicked Old Wizard.

  33. greywarbler 33

    Hi I’m John Key.
    You’re Primo Minister.
    Always evolving, protean and plastic.
    A fun guy.
    A funguy
    A fungi

  34. key:..

    ..”..i never got to be a teenager..

    ..’cos..ackshully…i was studying ayn rand..

    ..have you read ‘atlas shrugged’..?..”

    phillip ure..

  35. key:..

    “..do you think poor people are yucky..?

    ..i think poor people are yucky..”

    ..phillip ure..

  36. girl:..

    ..”..who are you..?..”

    phillip ure..

  37. key:..

    “..what do you mean you don’t know who david letterman is..?..”

    phillip ure..

  38. boy to girl:


    phillip ure..

  39. key to girl:..

    “..no i’m not wearing a wig..?..”

    .phillip ure..

  40. David H 40

    EEEeeewwwww Who was that old perv ? tried to give me a Business card, he called it a selfie.

  41. Will@Welly 41

    “You’re leaving, so soon. Oh, for a brighter future, me too.”

  42. Whateva next? 42

    Welcome to planet Key, there’s room for just a couple more…

  43. Policy Parrot 43

    “So when are you two off on your OE? – mine starts in November”.

  44. Jenny 44

    “Please don’t hurt me Mr.”

  45. Jenny 45

    Finally, a job I can do.

  46. floyd 46

    You two are my idea of an egalitarian society. All the rich are equal and all the rest…. weeelll…..who cares.

  47. ropata 47

    JK: “Sorry kids, there are no toilets on Planet Key”

    Students: “That’s OK Sir, we just crapped in your BMW”

    JK: “Oh yeah? Well I have already crapped on your future, now f*ck off”

    Students: “No worries, we are f*cking off to Australia pretty soon”

  48. Martha 48

    “You make us laugh, is it true you’re Winston’s puppet?”

  49. happynz 49

    Several minutes after the photo shoot…

    Student A: About that bloke’s toupee…whaddya reckon?

    Student B: OMG it’s, like, sooooooo I dunno…erm…different…ha ha ha.

  50. Yossarian 50

    Student A: ” I dont care if this is a photo Op, take your left hand off my arse”
    Student B: ” You heared her You Perv or I head Butt You!”
    Keys: “This never happens in photo Ops with My Mate Barack”

  51. Craig Y 51

    Key: Ah, fine upstanding industrious young people! So, tell me, you’ve just turned eighteen, who are you going to vote for this year?

    Female student: Not sociopathic right-wingers, thank you. And please tell Colin Craig that his tinfoil hat isn’t at all fashionable.

    Male student: Please, Prime Minister, don’t privatise my grandmother!

  52. democracy 52

    It will cost you five bucks each to come thru this gate plus gst- John

    Kids awe shit u mate

  53. ecossemaid 53

    Ok Which of you sods super glued my hand to this gate?

  54. ecossemaid 54

    Awww Dad do we have to go see Auntie Paula again?
    Dad I have heard she drinks her own urine ..she’s not human!
    Now Now children she’s not that bad
    The Tree: ” Oh Children I am here……It’s Your Auntie Paula, don’t you recognize me?”

  55. tricledrown 55

    Girls welcome to the brighter future of gated communities!

  56. tricledrown 56

    Girls welcome to the brighter future of gated communities!

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