web analytics

Caption contest

Written By: - Date published: 2:10 pm, January 24th, 2014 - 64 comments
Categories: caption contest, election 2014 - Tags:

Key’s office yesterday released another of their Dear-Leader graphics, this one featuring an “inspirational” quote on education.  Here’s a blank version for you to add your own.

key-school-blank

 

It will be hard to beat this contribution (via Twitter) from Mike Kilpatrick:

key-school

64 comments on “Caption contest”

  1. Hayden 1

    To borrow from Marty McFly:

    [You’d] better get used to these bars, kids.

    • Hayden 1.1

      Or to go the other way:

      You’re going to want something like this outside your subdivision by the time I’m finished.

  2. Enough is Enough 2

    Welcome to your worst nightmare

    Three more Year of Me

  3. Chooky 3

    “No thanks!….You are too old and ugly!”

  4. One Anonymous Knucklehead 4

    “Vote for me, we’re always looking for people in uniform who can hold a gate open.”

  5. Mainlander 5

    A politician that actually relates to people of all ages, a rare thing indeed

  6. geoff 6

    “Why are you smiling, there’s no bright future for you”

  7. Papa Tuanuku 7

    Bye dad, don’t forget to take your meds.

  8. Shrubbery 8

    Remember for when you grow up – always lock the gate behind you.

  9. Te Reo Putake 9

    Keep him talking, Kylie, security’s on the way.

  10. key:..

    ‘are you with me..?..or agin me..?’..

    phillip ure..

  11. key:..

    ..’have you seen blips’ list of my mincie-pies..?

    ..i’m so naughty..!..

    ..eh..?’

    phillip ure..

  12. key:

    ..’i never got to be a teenager..

    ..’cos i was raised in a state house..

    ..didn’tyaknow..?’

    phillip ure..

  13. key:

    “and then i said..then i said..to obama..’oh yeah..!..hahaha..!..

    ..we txt each other..!..

    ..didn’tyaknow..?..”

    phillip ure..

  14. key:..

    “..can you smell the oil and coal on my breath..?

    ..gotta mint..?..”

    phillip ure..

  15. key:..

    ‘no..!..it’s not true i’m a shape-shifting lizard..

    ..that’s just a green party rumour..!’

    ..phillip ure..

  16. key:..

    “..that way lies communism..!..”

    phillip ure..

  17. McFlock 17

    Our Glorious Leader maintains blokesy demeanour while escorting school fundraisers off his property – his entourage were responding to a “credible” security threat in the swimming pool of his Hawaiian residence.

  18. Skinny 18

    Male student: Hey Mr Key we are studying economics, the MSM are calling our economy a Rock Star economy.

    Key: Actually it’s true, you’ll do well at Crosby/Textor talking like that son.

    Female student: But Mr Key Standard & Poors have just down graded our rating… Ha ha that must make it a ‘Pop’ Star economy?

    Key: Young lady I better introduce you to Paula Bennett she will tell you of her early life..you sound like your heading that way.

  19. irascible 19

    “OK kids, we’ve finished the photo shoot. Make sure you return those uniforms to the Costume Hire shop” (THINKS ). Let’s all hope no one twigs that we had to do this photo using my gate as a school entrance during the school holidays.”

  20. risildowgtn 20

    Would you like a lolly

  21. aerobubble 21

    How did you get to be PM?

    Well I made the poor know they were poorer, the rich think they were richer and the middle look the other way.

  22. fender 22

    Oh I’m just eyeing up the property, can’t help but think it’s a waste of land use and could be better utilised by a mansion or two.

  23. Chooky 23

    I will give you a lolly if you don’t vote for Dotcom

  24. kousei 24

    Who knows what kind of world your children will inherit, long as we are right eh?

  25. ianmac 25

    “Don’t you kids know who I am?”

  26. key:..

    ‘are you on facebook..?

    ..i’m on facebook..’..

    phillip ure

  27. key:..

    “..what’s instagram..?..’

    phillip ure..

  28. Chooky 28

    “You know kids ….Dotcom hasn’t been on the front page of Women’s Weekly yet in his swimming togs….I have…”

  29. Lanthanide 29

    Hey, you kids ever done that ‘planking’ thing? My son Max Key is.

  30. Jenny 30

    Unknown guest seen hanging round at school gates.

    Police would like to talk to anyone who can identify him

  31. Jackal 31

    Now pish off! You’re too young to vote.

  32. greywarbler 32

    Just put your little finger through the bars so I can see if you’re ready for eating, said the Wicked Old Wizard.

  33. greywarbler 33

    Hi I’m John Key.
    You’re Primo Minister.
    Always evolving, protean and plastic.
    A fun guy.
    A funguy
    A fungi

  34. key:..

    ..”..i never got to be a teenager..

    ..’cos..ackshully…i was studying ayn rand..

    ..have you read ‘atlas shrugged’..?..”

    phillip ure..

  35. key:..

    “..do you think poor people are yucky..?

    ..i think poor people are yucky..”

    ..phillip ure..

  36. girl:..

    ..”..who are you..?..”

    phillip ure..

  37. key:..

    “..what do you mean you don’t know who david letterman is..?..”

    phillip ure..

  38. boy to girl:

    “..quick..!..run..!..”

    phillip ure..

  39. key to girl:..

    “..no i’m not wearing a wig..?..”

    .phillip ure..

  40. David H 40

    EEEeeewwwww Who was that old perv ? tried to give me a Business card, he called it a selfie.

  41. Will@Welly 41

    “You’re leaving, so soon. Oh, for a brighter future, me too.”

  42. Whateva next? 42

    Welcome to planet Key, there’s room for just a couple more…

  43. Policy Parrot 43

    “So when are you two off on your OE? – mine starts in November”.

  44. Jenny 44

    “Please don’t hurt me Mr.”

  45. Jenny 45

    Finally, a job I can do.

  46. floyd 46

    You two are my idea of an egalitarian society. All the rich are equal and all the rest…. weeelll…..who cares.

  47. ropata 47

    JK: “Sorry kids, there are no toilets on Planet Key”

    Students: “That’s OK Sir, we just crapped in your BMW”

    JK: “Oh yeah? Well I have already crapped on your future, now f*ck off”

    Students: “No worries, we are f*cking off to Australia pretty soon”

  48. Martha 48

    “You make us laugh, is it true you’re Winston’s puppet?”

  49. happynz 49

    Several minutes after the photo shoot…

    Student A: About that bloke’s toupee…whaddya reckon?

    Student B: OMG it’s, like, sooooooo I dunno…erm…different…ha ha ha.

  50. Yossarian 50

    Student A: ” I dont care if this is a photo Op, take your left hand off my arse”
    Student B: ” You heared her You Perv or I head Butt You!”
    Keys: “This never happens in photo Ops with My Mate Barack”

  51. Craig Y 51

    Key: Ah, fine upstanding industrious young people! So, tell me, you’ve just turned eighteen, who are you going to vote for this year?

    Female student: Not sociopathic right-wingers, thank you. And please tell Colin Craig that his tinfoil hat isn’t at all fashionable.

    Male student: Please, Prime Minister, don’t privatise my grandmother!

  52. democracy 52

    It will cost you five bucks each to come thru this gate plus gst- John

    Kids awe shit u mate

  53. ecossemaid 53

    Ok Which of you sods super glued my hand to this gate?

  54. ecossemaid 54

    Awww Dad do we have to go see Auntie Paula again?
    Dad I have heard she drinks her own urine ..she’s not human!
    Now Now children she’s not that bad
    The Tree: ” Oh Children I am here……It’s Your Auntie Paula, don’t you recognize me?”

  55. tricledrown 55

    Girls welcome to the brighter future of gated communities!

  56. tricledrown 56

    Girls welcome to the brighter future of gated communities!

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • New Zealand a world leader – in unaffordable housing
    The National Government has made New Zealand a world leader – in unaffordable housing, Labour’s Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford says. “The latest International Monetary Fund report shows New Zealand had the world’s second fastest growth in house prices at the… ...
    41 mins ago
  • New Zealand a world leader – in unaffordable housing
    The National Government has made New Zealand a world leader – in unaffordable housing, Labour’s Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford says. “The latest International Monetary Fund report shows New Zealand had the world’s second fastest growth in house prices at the… ...
    41 mins ago
  • Hospital meals making you sick
    I don’t know about you but I felt a bit sick watching Health Minister Jonathon Coleman eat supposed Dunedin hospital food last week.  Dunedin people have tolerated a crumbling hospital, lower access to services, longer waiting times and gross food… ...
    GreensBy Metiria Turei
    2 hours ago
  • Hospital meals making you sick
    I don’t know about you but I felt a bit sick watching Health Minister Jonathon Coleman eat supposed Dunedin hospital food last week.  Dunedin people have tolerated a crumbling hospital, lower access to services, longer waiting times and gross food… ...
    GreensBy Metiria Turei
    2 hours ago
  • Key needs to stop shifting and come clean
    John Key’s position on his lawyer’s offshore trusts lobbying has changed yet again with the Prime Minister admitting he told Todd McClay that Ken Whitney had approached him, says Labour’s Finance spokesperson Grant Robertson. “Yet again information has to be… ...
    4 hours ago
  • Key needs to stop shifting and come clean
    John Key’s position on his lawyer’s offshore trusts lobbying has changed yet again with the Prime Minister admitting he told Todd McClay that Ken Whitney had approached him, says Labour’s Finance spokesperson Grant Robertson. “Yet again information has to be… ...
    4 hours ago
  • Revolutionary art in Palmerston North
    Last night I was a judge at the May Day Cup, an annual theatrical event which celebrates International Workers Day. The event was organised by stalwart unionist Dion Martin and included a range of performers competing for the Cup. This year… ...
    GreensBy Catherine Delahunty
    1 day ago
  • Revolutionary art in Palmerston North
    Last night I was a judge at the May Day Cup, an annual theatrical event which celebrates International Workers Day. The event was organised by stalwart unionist Dion Martin and included a range of performers competing for the Cup. This year… ...
    GreensBy Catherine Delahunty
    1 day ago
  • Andrew Little visits Zaatari refugee camp
    Leader of the Opposition, Andrew Little, has visited the largest Syrian refugee camp in the world, Zaatari in Jordan, a day after seeing New Zealand troops at Camp Taji in Iraq. Mr Little spent several hours in the camp, meeting… ...
    2 days ago
  • Com Com’s Z Energy decision anti-competitive
    The Commerce Commission’s decision to allow Z Energy to buy Caltex can only undermine the competition in the fuel industry that is needed to ensure New Zealanders pay the lowest price for petrol, Labour’s Consumer Affairs spokesperson David Shearer says.… ...
    2 days ago
  • Com Com’s Z Energy decision anti-competitive
    The Commerce Commission’s decision to allow Z Energy to buy Caltex can only undermine the competition in the fuel industry that is needed to ensure New Zealanders pay the lowest price for petrol, Labour’s Consumer Affairs spokesperson David Shearer says.… ...
    2 days ago
  • OAG raps Govt over the knuckles on HNZ contracts
    The Government has been rapped over the knuckles by the Auditor General over its failure to properly manage $2.3m of contracts and conflicts of interest in relation to a merchant banker advising them on the state house sell-off, says Labour’s… ...
    3 days ago
  • OAG raps Govt over the knuckles on HNZ contracts
    The Government has been rapped over the knuckles by the Auditor General over its failure to properly manage $2.3m of contracts and conflicts of interest in relation to a merchant banker advising them on the state house sell-off, says Labour’s… ...
    3 days ago
  • Brownlee must step in as EQC spin exposed
    Gerry Brownlee needs to step in after EQC’s desperate spin in the wake of yesterday’s landmark settlement has been exposed by its own documents, says Labour’s Canterbury spokesperson Megan Woods. “Yesterday’s settlement showed that thousands of homes may not have… ...
    3 days ago
  • Brownlee must step in as EQC spin exposed
    Gerry Brownlee needs to step in after EQC’s desperate spin in the wake of yesterday’s landmark settlement has been exposed by its own documents, says Labour’s Canterbury spokesperson Megan Woods. “Yesterday’s settlement showed that thousands of homes may not have… ...
    3 days ago
  • OIO must explain Argentine pollution prosecutions
    The Overseas Investment Office (OIO)has questions to answer about how it safeguarded our sensitive land by allowing foreign investors with criminal prosecutions to purchase Onetai Station in Taranaki, says Labour’s Land Information spokesperson David Cunliffe.   “Rafael and Federico Grozovsky… ...
    3 days ago
  • Aussie banks in NZ should ban lending to offshore buyers
    ASB, Westpac and ANZ must confirm whether or not they will continue to fund the over-heated property market by lending to non-resident offshore home buyers, Labour’s Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford says. “This issue has arisen because their parent banks have… ...
    3 days ago
  • Aussie banks in NZ should ban lending to offshore buyers
    ASB, Westpac and ANZ must confirm whether or not they will continue to fund the over-heated property market by lending to non-resident offshore home buyers, Labour’s Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford says. “This issue has arisen because their parent banks have… ...
    3 days ago
  • Murray McCully needs to come clean over Tokelau ferry debacle
    Foreign Minister Murray McCully needs to come clean on why a New Zealand aid-funded vessel intended to service the Tokelau Islands is delayed, over budget and failed its sea trials, Labour’s Foreign Affairs spokesperson David Shearer says. “The new ship… ...
    3 days ago
  • Full independent inquiry needed to save New Zealand’s reputation
    Revelations that John Key's personal lawyer and trust advisor led a lobbying campaign to shut down a review of New Zealand's foreign trust regime makes the case for a full scale independent inquiry a matter of urgency, Labour's Finance spokesperson… ...
    3 days ago
  • Full independent inquiry needed to save New Zealand’s reputation
    Revelations that John Key's personal lawyer and trust advisor led a lobbying campaign to shut down a review of New Zealand's foreign trust regime makes the case for a full scale independent inquiry a matter of urgency, Labour's Finance spokesperson… ...
    3 days ago
  • Andrew Little visits NZ troops in Iraq and refugees in Jordan
    Opposition Leader Andrew Little has visited New Zealand troops at Camp Taji, Iraq. Mr Little also met with Iraqi Defence Minister Khaled Al-Obedih and senior military officials from the Coalition forces in Iraq. He now heads to Jordan to see… ...
    4 days ago
  • Workplace death toll still too high
    It’s a damning indictment on the Government that as workers gather to remember their lost workmates on Worker’s Memorial Day, New Zealand’s workplace death toll is still far too high, Labour’s Workplace Relations and Safety spokesperson Iain Lees-Galloway says. “At… ...
    4 days ago
  • Workplace death toll still too high
    It’s a damning indictment on the Government that as workers gather to remember their lost workmates on Worker’s Memorial Day, New Zealand’s workplace death toll is still far too high, Labour’s Workplace Relations and Safety spokesperson Iain Lees-Galloway says. “At… ...
    4 days ago
  • Minister must come clean on implications of landmark settlement
    Gerry Brownlee has urgent and serious questions to answer in the wake of today’s landmark EQC settlement, which potentially has major implications for thousands of Cantabrians, says Labour’s Canterbury spokesperson Megan Woods. ...
    4 days ago
  • Mossack Fonseca links to OIO approvals must be investigated
    The Minister for Land Information must investigate and disclose how many applications to the Overseas Investment Office (OIO) have links to Mossack Fonseca, says Labour’s Land Information spokesperson David Cunliffe. “Labour can now reveal the OIO approved an application from… ...
    4 days ago
  • Mossack Fonseca links to OIO approvals must be investigated
    The Minister for Land Information must investigate and disclose how many applications to the Overseas Investment Office (OIO) have links to Mossack Fonseca, says Labour’s Land Information spokesperson David Cunliffe. “Labour can now reveal the OIO approved an application from… ...
    4 days ago
  • Govt complacency leaves RB no room to cut
    The Government has put the economy in a holding pattern, leaving the Reserve Bank Governor with little room to manoeuvre as he tries to balance a rampant housing market with non-existent inflation, says Labour’s Finance spokesperson Grant Robertson. “Graeme Wheeler… ...
    4 days ago
  • Govt complacency leaves RB no room to cut
    The Government has put the economy in a holding pattern, leaving the Reserve Bank Governor with little room to manoeuvre as he tries to balance a rampant housing market with non-existent inflation, says Labour’s Finance spokesperson Grant Robertson. “Graeme Wheeler… ...
    4 days ago
  • Dam not out of doldrums yet
    Ruataniwha Dam promoters Hawke’s Bay Regional Investment Company (HBRIC) still has hurdles to clear and a lot of work to do before ratepayers and taxpayers will have confidence in the scheme, says Labour’s MP for Ikaroa-Rāwhiti Meka Whaitiri.“We need sustainable… ...
    4 days ago
  • New study shows Smith’s insulation fails Kiwi kids
    A new Otago University study shows Nick Smith’s inadequate insulation standards will see hundreds of children unnecessarily hospitalised for housing-related illnesses every year, Labour’s Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford says. ...
    5 days ago
  • Government out of touch on foreign trusts
    John Key’s poor handling of the foreign trusts issue is starkly revealed in a poll today which shows the majority of Kiwis are worried about the country being a tax haven and almost half think the issue has been badly… ...
    5 days ago
  • Government out of touch on foreign trusts
    John Key’s poor handling of the foreign trusts issue is starkly revealed in a poll today which shows the majority of Kiwis are worried about the country being a tax haven and almost half think the issue has been badly… ...
    5 days ago
  • Biggest trade deficit for 7 years a warning for Govt
    The biggest trade deficit for seven years shows the Government can’t be so complacent about the economy and must take action to diversify and encourage exports, says Labour’s Finance spokesperson Grant Robertson. “The biggest driver has been the fall in… ...
    5 days ago
  • Biggest trade deficit for 7 years a warning for Govt
    The biggest trade deficit for seven years shows the Government can’t be so complacent about the economy and must take action to diversify and encourage exports, says Labour’s Finance spokesperson Grant Robertson. “The biggest driver has been the fall in… ...
    5 days ago
  • Government’s record on climate change under fire
      The Royal Society’s latest report on climate change has made it clear that it believes the Government’s current approach to climate change is inadequate, says Labour’s spokesperson on Climate Change Megan Woods.  “The report, ‘Transition to a low-carbon economy… ...
    5 days ago
  • Government’s record on climate change under fire
      The Royal Society’s latest report on climate change has made it clear that it believes the Government’s current approach to climate change is inadequate, says Labour’s spokesperson on Climate Change Megan Woods.  “The report, ‘Transition to a low-carbon economy… ...
    5 days ago
  • Mainfreight director agrees with Labour on rail funding
    Richard Prebble – in the past accused of ruining rail and now a director of Mainfreight – agrees with Labour that secure funding for KiwiRail is the best way to minimise congestion in our major cities, says Labour’s SOEs spokesperson… ...
    5 days ago
  • Mainfreight director agrees with Labour on rail funding
    Richard Prebble – in the past accused of ruining rail and now a director of Mainfreight – agrees with Labour that secure funding for KiwiRail is the best way to minimise congestion in our major cities, says Labour’s SOEs spokesperson… ...
    5 days ago
  • Government to Reserve Bank – Rock or Hard Place?
    The Government’s complacency on the housing crisis and the economy has put the Reserve Bank Governor in a no-win position as he contemplates the OCR tomorrow, says Labour’s Finance spokesperson Grant Robertson. “Graeme Wheeler is stuck between a rock and… ...
    5 days ago
  • Government to Reserve Bank – Rock or Hard Place?
    The Government’s complacency on the housing crisis and the economy has put the Reserve Bank Governor in a no-win position as he contemplates the OCR tomorrow, says Labour’s Finance spokesperson Grant Robertson. “Graeme Wheeler is stuck between a rock and… ...
    5 days ago
  • John Key’s land tax could push up rents
    A land tax proposed by John Key as the answer to the housing crisis could push up rents and risks having no effect on skyrocketing prices, Labour’s Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford says. “The Government needs to explain why the thousands… ...
    6 days ago
  • Government should ban foreign speculators
    The Prime Minister’s musings about a land tax on non-resident buyers is just more tinkering, and the Government should just ban foreign speculators as the Australian Government has done, says Labour’s Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford. “This is classic John Key.… ...
    6 days ago
  • Government must protect Pharmac as promised
    John Key must tell New Zealanders that he will not bow to pressure from wealthy drug companies or their US negotiators and put Kiwi lives at risk, Labour’s Health spokesperson Annette King says.   “News reports today have the drug… ...
    6 days ago
  • Action not words, needed on housing speculation
    John Key should be taking action to crack down on speculation in our overheated housing market, instead of random musings on land tax, Labour Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford said.  "John Key suggested today on TVNZ's Q and A programme that… ...
    1 week ago
  • Tertiary education cost rising 7x faster than inflation
    New figures show the cost of tertiary education is rising seven times faster than inflation, putting post-school education out of the reach of many, Opposition Leader Andrew Little says.  “Figures release this week show how much more students or their… ...
    1 week ago
  • Buying Lotto is not an arts funding strategy
    The Government must rethink the way the arts are funded after falling Lotto sales has left the sector with declining resources and increasingly vulnerable, Labour’s Arts, Culture and Heritage spokesperson Jacinda Ardern says.  “Our arts sector is in a sorry… ...
    1 week ago
  • Parents hit in pocket by Government under-funding
    Parents and families are left forking out more and more for their kids’ education as a direct result of Government under-funding, Labour’s Education spokesperson Chris Hipkins says.  “The latest data shows that the cost to families of primary and secondary… ...
    1 week ago
  • Scientists ‘gasping for oxygen’ under National
     Steven Joyce's claims to be creating a science and innovation hub in New Zealand are a sham based on PR fluff, says Labour's Science and Innovation Spokesperson David Cunliffe.  “A damning critique of the science funding model by the New… ...
    1 week ago
  • Scientists ‘gasping for oxygen’ under National
     Steven Joyce's claims to be creating a science and innovation hub in New Zealand are a sham based on PR fluff, says Labour's Science and Innovation Spokesperson David Cunliffe.  “A damning critique of the science funding model by the New… ...
    1 week ago

Public service advertisements by The Standard

Current CO2 level in the atmosphere