Caption contest
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- Date published:
2:10 pm, January 24th, 2014 - 64 comments
Categories: caption contest, election 2014 -
Tags: caption contest
Key’s office yesterday released another of their Dear-Leader graphics, this one featuring an “inspirational” quote on education. Here’s a blank version for you to add your own.
It will be hard to beat this contribution (via Twitter) from Mike Kilpatrick:
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- Referendums for Māori wards a racist step backwardsThe Government's imposed referendum on Māori wards is a racist step backwards for Māori representation, and disregards Te Tiriti o Waitangi. ...3 weeks ago
- PM announces changes to portfolios
Paul Goldsmith will take on responsibility for the Media and Communications portfolio, while Louise Upston will pick up the Disability Issues portfolio, Prime Minister Christopher Luxon announced today. “Our Government is relentlessly focused on getting New Zealand back on track. As issues change in prominence, I plan to adjust Ministerial ...3 hours ago - New catch limits for unique fishery areasRecreational catch limits will be reduced in areas of Fiordland and the Chatham Islands to help keep those fisheries healthy and sustainable, Oceans and Fisheries Minister Shane Jones says. The lower recreational daily catch limits for a range of finfish and shellfish species caught in the Fiordland Marine Area and ...7 hours ago
- Minister welcomes hydrogen milestoneEnergy Minister Simeon Brown has welcomed an important milestone in New Zealand’s hydrogen future, with the opening of the country’s first network of hydrogen refuelling stations in Wiri. “I want to congratulate the team at Hiringa Energy and its partners K one W one (K1W1), Mitsui & Co New Zealand ...22 hours ago
- Urgent changes to system through first RMA Amendment BillThe coalition Government is delivering on its commitment to improve resource management laws and give greater certainty to consent applicants, with a Bill to amend the Resource Management Act (RMA) expected to be introduced to Parliament next month. RMA Reform Minister Chris Bishop has today outlined the first RMA Amendment ...1 day ago
- Overseas decommissioning models consideredOverseas models for regulating the oil and gas sector, including their decommissioning regimes, are being carefully scrutinised as a potential template for New Zealand’s own sector, Resources Minister Shane Jones says. The Coalition Government is focused on rebuilding investor confidence in New Zealand’s energy sector as it looks to strengthen ...1 day ago
- Release of North Island Severe Weather Event InquiryEmergency Management and Recovery Minister Mark Mitchell has today released the Report of the Government Inquiry into the response to the North Island Severe Weather Events. “The report shows that New Zealand’s emergency management system is not fit-for-purpose and there are some significant gaps we need to address,” Mr Mitchell ...1 day ago
- Justice Minister to attend Human Rights CouncilJustice Minister Paul Goldsmith is today travelling to Europe where he’ll update the United Nations Human Rights Council on the Government’s work to restore law and order. “Attending the Universal Periodic Review in Geneva provides us with an opportunity to present New Zealand’s human rights progress, priorities, and challenges, while ...2 days ago
- Patterson reopens world’s largest wool scouring facilityAssociate Agriculture Minister, Mark Patterson, formally reopened the world’s largest wool processing facility today in Awatoto, Napier, following a $50 million rebuild and refurbishment project. “The reopening of this facility will significantly lift the economic opportunities available to New Zealand’s wool sector, which already accounts for 20 per cent of ...2 days ago
- Speech to the Southland Otago Regional Engineering Collective Summit, 18 April 2024Hon Andrew Bayly, Minister for Small Business and Manufacturing At the Southland Otago Regional Engineering Collective (SOREC) Summit, 18 April, Dunedin Ngā mihi nui, Ko Andrew Bayly aho, Ko Whanganui aho Good Afternoon and thank you for inviting me to open your summit today. I am delighted ...2 days ago
- Government to introduce revised Three Strikes lawThe Government is delivering on its commitment to bring back the Three Strikes legislation, Associate Justice Minister Nicole McKee announced today. “Our Government is committed to restoring law and order and enforcing appropriate consequences on criminals. We are making it clear that repeat serious violent or sexual offending is not ...2 days ago
- New diplomatic appointmentsForeign Minister Winston Peters has today announced four new diplomatic appointments for New Zealand’s overseas missions. “Our diplomats have a vital role in maintaining and protecting New Zealand’s interests around the world,” Mr Peters says. “I am pleased to announce the appointment of these senior diplomats from the ...2 days ago
- Humanitarian support for Ethiopia and SomaliaNew Zealand is contributing NZ$7 million to support communities affected by severe food insecurity and other urgent humanitarian needs in Ethiopia and Somalia, Foreign Minister Rt Hon Winston Peters announced today. “Over 21 million people are in need of humanitarian assistance across Ethiopia, with a further 6.9 million people ...2 days ago
- Arts Minister congratulates Mataaho CollectiveMinister for Arts, Culture and Heritage Paul Goldsmith is congratulating Mataaho Collective for winning the Golden Lion for best participant in the main exhibition at the Venice Biennale. "Congratulations to the Mataaho Collective for winning one of the world's most prestigious art prizes at the Venice Biennale. “It is good ...3 days ago
- Supporting better financial outcomes for KiwisThe Government is reforming financial services to improve access to home loans and other lending, and strengthen customer protections, Commerce and Consumer Affairs Minister Andrew Bayly and Housing Minister Chris Bishop announced today. “Our coalition Government is committed to rebuilding the economy and making life simpler by cutting red tape. We are ...3 days ago
- Trade relationship with China remains strong“China remains a strong commercial opportunity for Kiwi exporters as Chinese businesses and consumers continue to value our high-quality safe produce,” Trade and Agriculture Minister Todd McClay says. Mr McClay has returned to New Zealand following visits to Beijing, Harbin and Shanghai where he met ministers, governors and mayors and engaged in trade and agricultural events with the New ...3 days ago
- PM’s South East Asia mission does the businessPrime Minister Christopher Luxon has completed a successful trip to Singapore, Thailand and the Philippines, deepening relationships and capitalising on opportunities. Mr Luxon was accompanied by a business delegation and says the choice of countries represents the priority the New Zealand Government places on South East Asia, and our relationships in ...4 days ago
- $41m to support clean energy in South East AsiaNew Zealand is demonstrating its commitment to reducing global greenhouse emissions, and supporting clean energy transition in South East Asia, through a contribution of NZ$41 million (US$25 million) in climate finance to the Asian Development Bank (ADB)-led Energy Transition Mechanism (ETM). Prime Minister Christopher Luxon and Climate Change Minister Simon Watts announced ...5 days ago
- Minister releases Fast-track stakeholder listThe Government is today releasing a list of organisations who received letters about the Fast-track applications process, says RMA Reform Minister Chris Bishop. “Recently Ministers and agencies have received a series of OIA requests for a list of organisations to whom I wrote with information on applying to have a ...5 days ago
- Judicial appointments announcedAttorney-General Judith Collins today announced the appointment of Wellington Barrister David Jonathan Boldt as a Judge of the High Court, and the Honourable Justice Matthew Palmer as a Judge of the Court of Appeal. Justice Boldt graduated with an LLB from Victoria University of Wellington in 1990, and also holds ...5 days ago
- Education Minister heads to major teaching summit in SingaporeEducation Minister Erica Stanford will lead the New Zealand delegation at the 2024 International Summit on the Teaching Profession (ISTP) held in Singapore. The delegation includes representatives from the Post Primary Teachers’ Association (PPTA) Te Wehengarua and the New Zealand Educational Institute (NZEI) Te Riu Roa. The summit is co-hosted ...5 days ago
- Value of stopbank project proven during cycloneA stopbank upgrade project in Tairawhiti partly funded by the Government has increased flood resilience for around 7000ha of residential and horticultural land so far, Regional Development Minister Shane Jones says. Mr Jones today attended a dawn service in Gisborne to mark the end of the first stage of the ...5 days ago
- Anzac commemorations, Türkiye relationship focus of visitForeign Affairs Minister Winston Peters will represent the Government at Anzac Day commemorations on the Gallipoli Peninsula next week and engage with senior representatives of the Turkish government in Istanbul. “The Gallipoli campaign is a defining event in our history. It will be a privilege to share the occasion ...5 days ago
- Minister to Europe for OECD meeting, Anzac DayScience, Innovation and Technology and Defence Minister Judith Collins will next week attend the OECD Science and Technology Ministerial conference in Paris and Anzac Day commemorations in Belgium. “Science, innovation and technology have a major role to play in rebuilding our economy and achieving better health, environmental and social outcomes ...5 days ago
- Comprehensive Partnership the goal for NZ and the PhilippinesPrime Minister Christopher Luxon held a bilateral meeting today with the President of the Philippines, Ferdinand Marcos Jr. The Prime Minister was accompanied by MP Paulo Garcia, the first Filipino to be elected to a legislature outside the Philippines. During today’s meeting, Prime Minister Luxon and President Marcos Jr discussed opportunities to ...6 days ago
- Government commits $20m to Westport flood protectionThe Government has announced that $20 million in funding will be made available to Westport to fund much needed flood protection around the town. This measure will significantly improve the resilience of the community, says Local Government Minister Simeon Brown. “The Westport community has already been allocated almost $3 million ...6 days ago
- Taupō takes pole positionThe Government is proud to support the first ever Repco Supercars Championship event in Taupō as up to 70,000 motorsport fans attend the Taupō International Motorsport Park this weekend, says Economic Development Minister Melissa Lee. “Anticipation for the ITM Taupō Super400 is huge, with tickets and accommodation selling out weeks ...6 days ago
- Cost of living support for low-income homeownersLocal Government Minister Simeon Brown has announced an increase to the Rates Rebate Scheme, putting money back into the pockets of low-income homeowners. “The coalition Government is committed to bringing down the cost of living for New Zealanders. That includes targeted support for those Kiwis who are doing things tough, such ...6 days ago
- Government backing mussel spat projectThe Coalition Government is investing in a project to boost survival rates of New Zealand mussels and grow the industry, Oceans and Fisheries Minister Shane Jones has announced. “This project seeks to increase the resilience of our mussels and significantly boost the sector’s productivity,” Mr Jones says. “The project - ...6 days ago
- Government focused on getting people into workBenefit figures released today underscore the importance of the Government’s plan to rebuild the economy and have 50,000 fewer people on Jobseeker Support, Social Development and Employment Minister Louise Upston says. “Benefit numbers are still significantly higher than when National was last in government, when there was about 70,000 fewer ...6 days ago
- Clean energy key driver to reducing emissionsThe Government’s commitment to doubling New Zealand’s renewable energy capacity is backed by new data showing that clean energy has helped the country reach its lowest annual gross emissions since 1999, Climate Change Minister Simon Watts says. New Zealand’s latest Greenhouse Gas Inventory (1990-2022) published today, shows gross emissions fell ...6 days ago
- Earthquake-prone buildings review brought forwardThe Government is bringing the earthquake-prone building review forward, with work to start immediately, and extending the deadline for remediations by four years, Building and Construction Minister Chris Penk says. “Our Government is focused on rebuilding the economy. A key part of our plan is to cut red tape that ...6 days ago
- Thailand and NZ to agree to Strategic PartnershipPrime Minister Christopher Luxon and his Thai counterpart, Prime Minister Srettha Thavisin, have today agreed that New Zealand and the Kingdom of Thailand will upgrade the bilateral relationship to a Strategic Partnership by 2026. “New Zealand and Thailand have a lot to offer each other. We have a strong mutual desire to build ...7 days ago
- Government consults on extending coastal permits for portsRMA Reform Minister Chris Bishop and Transport Minister Simeon Brown have today announced the Coalition Government’s intention to extend port coastal permits for a further 20 years, providing port operators with certainty to continue their operations. “The introduction of the Resource Management Act in 1991 required ports to obtain coastal ...1 week ago
- Inflation coming down, but more work to doToday’s announcement that inflation is down to 4 per cent is encouraging news for Kiwis, but there is more work to be done - underlining the importance of the Government’s plan to get the economy back on track, acting Finance Minister Chris Bishop says. “Inflation is now at 4 per ...1 week ago
- School attendance restored as a priority in health adviceRefreshed health guidance released today will help parents and schools make informed decisions about whether their child needs to be in school, addressing one of the key issues affecting school attendance, says Associate Education Minister David Seymour. In recent years, consistently across all school terms, short-term illness or medical reasons ...1 week ago
- Unnecessary bureaucracy cut in oceans sectorOceans and Fisheries Minister Shane Jones is streamlining high-level oceans management while maintaining a focus on supporting the sector’s role in the export-led recovery of the economy. “I am working to realise the untapped potential of our fishing and aquaculture sector. To achieve that we need to be smarter with ...1 week ago
- Patterson promoting NZ’s wool sector at International CongressAssociate Agriculture Minister Mark Patterson is speaking at the International Wool Textile Organisation Congress in Adelaide, promoting New Zealand wool, and outlining the coalition Government’s support for the revitalisation the sector. "New Zealand’s wool exports reached $400 million in the year to 30 June 2023, and the coalition Government ...1 week ago
- Removing red tape to help early learners thriveThe Government is making legislative changes to make it easier for new early learning services to be established, and for existing services to operate, Associate Education Minister David Seymour says. The changes involve repealing the network approval provisions that apply when someone wants to establish a new early learning service, ...1 week ago
- RMA changes to cut coal mining consent red tapeChanges to the Resource Management Act will align consenting for coal mining to other forms of mining to reduce barriers that are holding back economic development, Resources Minister Shane Jones says. “The inconsistent treatment of coal mining compared with other extractive activities is burdensome red tape that fails to acknowledge ...1 week ago
- McClay reaffirms strong NZ-China trade relationshipTrade, Agriculture and Forestry Minister Todd McClay has concluded productive discussions with ministerial counterparts in Beijing today, in support of the New Zealand-China trade and economic relationship. “My meeting with Commerce Minister Wang Wentao reaffirmed the complementary nature of the bilateral trade relationship, with our Free Trade Agreement at its ...1 week ago
- Sexual assault victims give evidence in court, but alleged perpetrators don’t have to. Bruce Lehrm...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Kelly Saunders, PhD Candidate, University of Canberra There has been much analysis and praise of Justice Michael Lee’s recent judgement in Bruce Lehrmann’s defamation case against Channel Ten. Many people were openly relieved to read Lee’s “forensic” and “nuanced” application of law ...29 mins ago - What’s the difference between ADD and ADHD?Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Kathy Gibbs, Program Director for the Bachelor of Education, Griffith University zEdward_Indy/Shutterstock Around one in 20 people has attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). It’s one of the most common neurodevelopmental disorders in childhood and often continues into adulthood. ADHD is diagnosed ...29 mins ago
- Watch: Government's 'wheels are falling off already', Hipkins says, after minsters de...
The Labour leader says the demotion of two ministers today shows the PM "didn't have particularly good judgement". ...39 mins ago - Anti-Poverty Groups Urge New Minister For Disability Issues To Reverse Funding Cuts
The Fairer Future coalition of anti-poverty groups say Whaikaha must be properly funded going forward, and that to argue that poor financial management of the new Ministry is a red herring by the Prime Minister. ...1 hour ago - New Media Minister Must Rule Out State Intervention In Private MediaThe Taxpayers’ Union is today congratulating Hon. Paul Goldsmith on his appointment as Minister for Media and Communications and urges him to rule out state intervention in the private media sector. ...1 hour ago
- OPM leader’s open letter condemns Australia’s ‘treachery’ over PapuaAsia Pacific Report The West Papuan resistance OPM leader has condemned Australian Prime Minister Anthony Albanese and US President Joe Biden, accusing their countries of “six decades of treachery” over Papuan independence. The open letter was released today by OPM chairman Jeffrey P Bomanak on the eve of ANZAC Day ...1 hour ago
- ‘Emily Dickinson made me into a writer’: Lauren Groff on the power of reading
Welcome to The Spinoff Books Confessional, in which we get to know the reading habits and quirks of New Zealanders at large. This week: writer and one of Time Magazine’s 100 most influential people of 2024, Lauren Groff. The book I wish I’d written If I wish I’d written a ...2 hours ago - Watch live: Chris Hipkins speaks after ministers Melissa Lee, Penny Simmonds lose portfoliosThe Labour leader speaks from Parliament after the prime minister's sudden Cabinet reshuffle. ...2 hours ago
- What kind of diner are you? 6 types of diners who avoid plant-based meat dishesSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By David Fechner, Research Fellow, Social Marketing, Griffith University mavo/Shutterstock Imagine having dinner at a restaurant. The menu offers plant-based meat alternatives made mostly from vegetables, mushrooms, legumes and wheat that mimic meat in taste, texture and smell. Despite being given that ...2 hours ago
- Auckland University Criminologist Slams ‘Racist’ Three Strikes Law“Three Strikes is a dead-end policy proposed by a dead-end government. The Three Strikes law ignores the causes of crime, instead just brutalising people already crushed by the cost of living.” ...2 hours ago
- Australia-born judge facing potential deportation from KiribatiBy Don Wiseman, RNZ Pacific senior journalist An Australian-born judge in Kiribati could well face deportation later this week after a tribunal ruling that he should be removed from his post. The tribunal’s report has just been tabled in the Kiribati Parliament and is due to be debated by MPs ...2 hours ago
- Can Body-Worn Cameras Work In Australia And New Zealand? Lessons From Milestone’s Denmark SurveyWith its clear mandate for police use, political nuances, and nuanced public trust, Denmark's insights provide valuable considerations for Australia and New Zealand. ...2 hours ago
- Media Minister Melissa Lee demoted from Cabinet, Penny Simmonds stripped of portfolioMelissa Lee has been stripped of the Media portfolio, while Penny Simmonds has lost the Disability Issues role. Follow as the PM explains. ...2 hours ago
- Climate change and human rights: how a landmark legal victory in Europe could affect NZSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Vernon Rive, Associate Professor of Law, University of Auckland, Waipapa Taumata Rau Getty Images A seven-year campaign by a group of over 2,000 Swiss women – average age 73 – recently ended with a European Court of Human Rights decision variously ...3 hours ago
- Page-turning rural gothic: Ash by Louise Wallace, reviewedBooks editor Claire Mabey reviews poet Louise Wallace’s debut novel. A famous poet once said to me that he’s always suspicious when a poet publishes a novel. I never really understood why but maybe it’s something to do with cheating on your first form. Louise Wallace is a poet. She’s ...3 hours ago
- Lower catch limits in force for Fiordland, Chatham IslandsNew catch limits in Fiordland mean recreational fishers will only be able to take much smaller bags of finfish and shellfish. ...4 hours ago
- New emergency management legislation delayed after bill pulled by GovernmentThe bill was introduced by the previous government in June last year. ...5 hours ago
- ‘It was my Eras tour’: Meet the world’s biggest TrueBliss fansFor a few months at the turn of the millennium, TrueBliss burned bright as the biggest pop stars in the country. Alex Casey chats to two superfans who still hold the flame. During a humble backyard wedding in Nelson, 1999, one of the cordially invited guests had to excuse themselves ...5 hours ago
- No more Census forms? Stats NZ mulls form of future surveysThe traditional Census form could become a thing of the past, as Stats NZ starts to rely more heavily on administrative data. ...6 hours ago
- The voices that vanish in a decimated newsroom How will the recent wave of job cuts impact ethnic diversity in the media? In November last year, I was working a very busy day in the newsroom of a large online news site, interviewing whānau about their concerns over the imminent closure of one of the few puna reo ...7 hours ago
- Half our colleagues suffer pain and discomfort from periods. But they’re still a taboo subject at ...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Ruth Knight, Researcher, Queensland University of Technology Have you ever felt sick at work? Perhaps you had food poisoning or the flu. Your belly hurt, or you felt tired, making it hard to concentrate and be productive. How likely would you be ...7 hours ago
- 'We're going to be banning gang patches' – Police Minister adamantDespite heavy criticism and an ongoing select committee process, the Police Minister says the Government will forge ahead with a ban on gang patches. ...7 hours ago
- Is it possible to ‘objectively’ judge music? We asked 5 expertsSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Sam Whiting, Lecturer – Creative Industries, University of South Australia Shutterstock Everyone has a favourite band, or a favourite composer, or a favourite song. There is some music which speaks to you, deeply; and other music which might be the current ...7 hours ago
- Gloomy vibe from infrastructure sector as RMA changes unveiledA new survey says ‘outlook not great’ for those charged with building infrastructure, while RMA changes delight farmers and depress environmentalists, writes Anna Rawhiti-Connell in this excerpt from The Bulletin, The Spinoff’s morning news round-up. To receive The Bulletin in full each weekday, sign up here. First RMA changes announced ...7 hours ago
- From Gallipoli to Gaza: remembering the Anzacs not as a ‘coming of age’ tale but as a lesson for...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Olli Hellmann, Associate Professor of Political Science, University of Waikato Getty Images When New Zealanders commemorate Anzac Day on April 25, it’s not only to honour the soldiers who lost their lives in World War I and subsequent conflicts, but also ...7 hours ago
- The end of the Census? Stats NZ to look at whether survey is still neededThe traditional Census survey could become a thing of the past as Stats NZ starts to rely more heavily on administrative data. ...8 hours ago
- Leaked document reveals millions of dollars of cuts at Te Whatu Ora
A leaked document shows the Canterbury/Waitaha arm of health agency Te Whatu Ora is scurrying to save $13.3 million by July. The “financial sustainability target”, which was “allocated” to Waitaha, is consistent with what’s happening in other districts, says Sarah Dalton, executive director of the Association of Salaried Medical Specialists. ...9 hours ago - Hiring freeze leaves Oranga Tamariki with no lawyers in Gisborne or SouthlandThe ministry's lawyers work with vulnerable children across the country, often in the youth and family courts. ...10 hours ago
- Is KiwiBuild finally on its last legs?A look at the state of the previous government’s affordable housing scheme, and what could come next. Remind me: What’s KiwiBuild again? First announced in 2012, KiwiBuild was a flagship policy of the Labour Party heading into both its 2014 and 2017 election campaigns. With Jacinda Ardern as prime minister, ...11 hours ago
- Labour has forgotten it was in governmentLabour in opposition will be shocked to learn which party had six years in power but squandered any chance to make real change. Grant Robertson’s valedictory speech was a predictably entertaining trip down memory lane. The acid-tongued incoming Otago University chancellor administered a sick burn to the coalition government. He ...11 hours ago
- Lessons identified must become lessons learned for emergency preparednessOpinion: It cost too much, apparently, to implement a ‘common operational picture’ The post Lessons identified must become lessons learned for emergency preparedness appeared first on Newsroom. ...11 hours ago
- The state of Taiwan’s silicon shieldTaiwan’s semiconductor industry is seen some as its ‘silicon shield’ against invasion – but how will overseas expansion affect that protection? The post The state of Taiwan’s silicon shield appeared first on Newsroom. ...11 hours ago
- Quake rules in for a shake-upThere’s relief for building owners bending under the weight of earthquake strengthening rules – and costs – that came into force seven years ago. Building and Construction Minister Chris Penk has announced a scheduled 2027 review of the earthquake-prone building regulations will now start this year. Owners will also get ...11 hours ago
- Kiwis are learning how to fight climate change – pollsBucking a common misconception, NZers no longer say recycling is the most effective action they can take to reduce climate pollution The post Kiwis are learning how to fight climate change – polls appeared first on Newsroom. ...11 hours ago
- Daily crossword, Wednesday 24 AprilThe post Daily crossword, Wednesday 24 April appeared first on Newsroom. ...11 hours ago
- Child protection decimation a ‘callous razor gang response’Opinion: It has been announced that nine percent of roles at Oranga Tamariki will be disestablished, presumably to help fund the tax cuts promised by the coalition Government. I am reminded of the graphics used to illustrate pandemic events, where five thousand people are standing in a field and then ...11 hours ago
- ‘Lesser Spotted Kiwi’ survives one of world’s toughest racesAfter more than two sleepless days, running through savage terrain, Greig Hamilton didn’t know if he was going to finish one of the most gruelling psychological assaults in sport. He was metres away from the finish line, a yellow gate made famous in a Netflix documentary; a race he’d dreamed ...11 hours ago
- Newsroom daily quiz, Wednesday 24 AprilLoading…(function(i,s,o,g,r,a,m){var ql=document.querySelectorAll('A[quiz],DIV[quiz],A[data-quiz],DIV[data-quiz]'); if(ql){if(ql.length){for(var k=0;k<ql.length;k++){ql[k].id='quiz-embed-'+k;ql[k].href="javascript:var i=document.getElementById('quiz-embed-"+k+"');try{qz.startQuiz(i)}catch(e){i.start=1;i.style.cursor='wait';i.style.opacity='0.5'};void(0);"}}};i['QP']=r;i[r]=i[r]||function(){(i[r].q=i[r].q||[]).push(arguments)},i[r].l=1*new Date();a=s.createElement(o),m=s.getElementsByTagName(o)[0];a.async=1;a.src=g;m.parentNode.insertBefore(a,m)})(window,document,'script','https://take.quiz-maker.com/3012/CDN/quiz-embed-v1.js','qp'); Got a good quiz question? Send Newsroom your questions. The post Newsroom daily quiz, Wednesday 24 April appeared first on Newsroom. ...11 hours ago
- ‘I was in awe of Germaine Greer’s face, her neck, her hands’The following interview with former Green Party MP Sue Kedgley came about because she features in the new memoir Hine Toa by activist Ngāhuia te Awekōtuku; the two knew each other at the University of Auckland in the early 70s, when they were both took on leadership roles in the ...11 hours ago
- Can social investment shift the dial on welfare and wellbeing?Exploring the arguments for and against a social investment approach The post Can social investment shift the dial on welfare and wellbeing? appeared first on Newsroom. ...11 hours ago
- Murray Horton: Get tough on Israel – we’ve done it before over spiesCOMMENTARY: By Murray Horton New Zealand needs to get tough with Israel. It’s not as if we haven’t done so before. When NZ authorities busted a Mossad operation in Auckland 20 years ago, the government didn’t say: “Oh well, Israel has the right to defend itself.” No, it arrested, prosecuted, ...14 hours ago
- Fiji journalism – starting with the people and ending with the peopleNEWSMAKERS: By Vijay Narayan, news director of FijiVillage Blessed to be part of the University of Fiji (UniFiji) faculty to continue to teach and mentor those who want to join our noble profession, and to stand for truth and justice for the people of the country. I was privileged to ...14 hours ago
- Beyond the spin, beyond the handouts, here’s how to get a handle on what’s really happening on b...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Peter Martin, Visiting Fellow, Crawford School of Public Policy, Australian National University Three weeks from now, some of us will be presented with a mountain of budget papers, and just about all of us will get to hear about them on radio, ...16 hours ago
- West Antarctica’s ice sheet was smaller thousands of years ago – here’s why this matters todaySource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Dan Lowry, Ice Sheet & Climate Modeller, GNS Science Hugh Chittock/Antarctica New Zealand, CC BY-SA As the climate warms and Antarctica’s glaciers and ice sheets melt, the resulting rise in sea level has the potential to displace hundreds of millions of ...16 hours ago
- 'We can't forget those people': Public sector job cuts not just impacting WellingtonAt least 400 of the thousands of jobs on the line so far are outside Wellington, according to the Public Service Association. ...17 hours ago
- 'There's no evidence that three strikes reduces crime' – lawyersThe government's plan to reintroduce a three strikes regime is being strongly opposed by lawyers, who argue there is no evidence it reduces crime or helps people rehabilitate. ...19 hours ago
- Elon Musk vs Australia: global content take-down orders can harm the internet if adopted widelySource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Dan Jerker B. Svantesson, Professor specialising in Internet law, Bond University Do Australian courts have the right to decide what foreign citizens, located overseas, view online on a foreign-owned platform? Anyone inclined to answer “yes” to this question should perhaps also ask ...21 hours ago
- Elon Musk says ‘disc replacement’ worked for him. But evidence this surgery helps chronic pain i...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Giovanni E Ferreira, NHMRC Emerging Leader Research Fellow, Institute of Musculoskeletal Health, University of Sydney Last week in a post on X, owner of the platform Elon Musk recommended people look into disc replacement if they’re experiencing severe neck or back pain. ...21 hours ago
- The NSW treasurer says a slashed share of GST will cost his state $11.9 billion. But where did he ge...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By David Hayward, Emeritus Professor of Public Policy, RMIT University anek.soowannaphoom/Shutterstock NSW Treasurer Daniel Mookhey caught the headlines yesterday, courtesy of a blistering speech condemning the latest GST carve-up. New South Wales, he claimed, would be A$11.9 billion worse off over the ...21 hours ago
- Anti-gang laws faces heavy criticism at select committeeWhile police are "broadly in favour", the government's proposed anti-gang laws are facing pushback from lawyers, rights groups and former gang members. ...22 hours ago
- Anti-gang laws face heavy criticism at select committeeWhile police are "broadly in favour", the government's proposed anti-gang laws are facing pushback from lawyers, rights groups and former gang members. ...22 hours ago
- PNG’s PM Marape to ‘give hand to his bro’ Albanese on Kokoda TrailBy Miriam Zarriga in Port Moresby Australian Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has arrived at Kokoda Station, Northern province, at the start of his state visit to Papua New Guinea. Both Albanese and Prime Minister James Marape will meet with the locals and the Northern Provincial government before they begin their ...23 hours ago
- Ministry of Social Development accepts 200 voluntary redundancies – PSAThe Public Service Association says further job cuts are likely. ...23 hours ago
- Many Australians face losing their homes right now. Here’s how the government should helpSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Chris Wallace, Professor, School of Politics Economics & Society, Faculty of Business Government & Law, University of Canberra Shutterstock An important principle was invoked by Prime Minister Anthony Albanese last week in defence of the government’s Future Made in Australia industry ...23 hours ago
- French security forces in Nouméa ahead of two opposing marches todayBy Patrick Decloitre, RNZ Pacific correspondent French Pacific desk Security forces reinforcements were sent from France ahead of two rival marches in the capital Nouméa today, at the same time and only two streets away one from the other. One march, called by Union Calédonienne party (a component of the ...1 day ago
- Just 1 In 6 Oppose ‘Three Strikes’ – PollA poll last August found that just 16% of New Zealanders oppose bringing back the ‘Three Strikes’ law. The nationwide poll of 1,000 New Zealanders was commissioned by Family First NZ and carried out by Curia Market Research. ...1 day ago
- Scattergun: After the Death of Rūaumoko reveals the frightening talent of Ana ScotneyThe solo show from Ana Scotney is both sprawling and intimate, and a must-see, writes Mad Chapman. In the opening moments of Scattergun: After the Death of Rūaumoko, writer and performer Ana Scotney lays out the groundwork, literally. Silently moving around the square stage, Scotney is not so much dancing ...1 day ago
- Curious Kids: who makes the words? Who decides what things like ‘trees’ and ‘shoes’ are call...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Kate Burridge, Professor of Linguistics, Monash University Who makes the words? Why are trees called trees and why are shoes called shoes and who makes the names? – Elliot, age 5, Eltham, Victoria Good question Elliot! Let’s start with ...1 day ago
- We’re only using a fraction of health workers’ skills. This needs to changeSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Stephen Duckett, Honorary Enterprise Professor, School of Population and Global Health, and Department of General Practice and Primary Care, The University of Melbourne at am Rawpixel.com/Shutterstock Roles of health professionals are still unfortunately often stuck in the past. That is, before the ...1 day ago
- Malcolm Evans: A new low in NZ media’s record of bias over PalestineCOMMENTARY: By Malcolm Evans Last week’s leaked New York Times staff directive, as to what words can and cannot be used to describe the carnage Israel is raining on Palestinians, is proof positive, since those reports are published verbatim here in New Zealand, that our understanding of the conflict is ...1 day ago
- New Zealand Survey Finds 65 Percent Agree The Economy Is “rigged To Advantage The Rich And Powerfu...In the case of New Zealand, the results confirm that there is no popular support for the vicious austerity program being imposed by the National Party-led government, which is backed in all fundamental respects by the opposition Labour Party. ...1 day ago
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To borrow from Marty McFly:
Or to go the other way:
Welcome to your worst nightmare
Three more Year of Me
“No thanks!….You are too old and ugly!”
“Vote for me, we’re always looking for people in uniform who can hold a gate open.”
+1
A politician that actually relates to people of all ages, a rare thing indeed
FTFY.
+1
“Why are you smiling, there’s no bright future for you”
Bye dad, don’t forget to take your meds.
Remember for when you grow up – always lock the gate behind you.
Keep him talking, Kylie, security’s on the way.
key:..
‘are you with me..?..or agin me..?’..
phillip ure..
key:..
..’have you seen blips’ list of my mincie-pies..?
..i’m so naughty..!..
..eh..?’
phillip ure..
hahahahahahahaahahhahaha
key:
..’i never got to be a teenager..
..’cos i was raised in a state house..
..didn’tyaknow..?’
phillip ure..
key:
“and then i said..then i said..to obama..’oh yeah..!..hahaha..!..
..we txt each other..!..
..didn’tyaknow..?..”
phillip ure..
key:..
“..can you smell the oil and coal on my breath..?
..gotta mint..?..”
phillip ure..
key:..
‘no..!..it’s not true i’m a shape-shifting lizard..
..that’s just a green party rumour..!’
..phillip ure..
key:..
“..that way lies communism..!..”
phillip ure..
phillip ure ….you should be a comedian
…..btw….hows your horse loving , powerful p…. Vegan Sauasge?
it’s fine thank you..
..seeing as you are asking..
..how’s yours’..?
..phillip ure..
lol….i dont have a Vegan sausage yet….but i am thinking about it
Our Glorious Leader maintains blokesy demeanour while escorting school fundraisers off his property – his entourage were responding to a “credible” security threat in the swimming pool of his Hawaiian residence.
Male student: Hey Mr Key we are studying economics, the MSM are calling our economy a Rock Star economy.
Key: Actually it’s true, you’ll do well at Crosby/Textor talking like that son.
Female student: But Mr Key Standard & Poors have just down graded our rating… Ha ha that must make it a ‘Pop’ Star economy?
Key: Young lady I better introduce you to Paula Bennett she will tell you of her early life..you sound like your heading that way.
“OK kids, we’ve finished the photo shoot. Make sure you return those uniforms to the Costume Hire shop” (THINKS ). Let’s all hope no one twigs that we had to do this photo using my gate as a school entrance during the school holidays.”
Would you like a lolly
How did you get to be PM?
Well I made the poor know they were poorer, the rich think they were richer and the middle look the other way.
Oh I’m just eyeing up the property, can’t help but think it’s a waste of land use and could be better utilised by a mansion or two.
I will give you a lolly if you don’t vote for Dotcom
Who knows what kind of world your children will inherit, long as we are right eh?
“Don’t you kids know who I am?”
key:..
‘are you on facebook..?
..i’m on facebook..’..
phillip ure
key:..
“..what’s instagram..?..’
phillip ure..
“You know kids ….Dotcom hasn’t been on the front page of Women’s Weekly yet in his swimming togs….I have…”
Hey, you kids ever done that ‘planking’ thing? My son Max Key is.
Unknown guest seen hanging round at school gates.
Police would like to talk to anyone who can identify him
Now pish off! You’re too young to vote.
Just put your little finger through the bars so I can see if you’re ready for eating, said the Wicked Old Wizard.
Hi I’m John Key.
You’re Primo Minister.
Always evolving, protean and plastic.
A fun guy.
A funguy
A fungi
key:..
..”..i never got to be a teenager..
..’cos..ackshully…i was studying ayn rand..
..have you read ‘atlas shrugged’..?..”
phillip ure..
key:..
“..do you think poor people are yucky..?
..i think poor people are yucky..”
..phillip ure..
girl:..
..”..who are you..?..”
phillip ure..
key:..
“..what do you mean you don’t know who david letterman is..?..”
phillip ure..
boy to girl:
“..quick..!..run..!..”
phillip ure..
key to girl:..
“..no i’m not wearing a wig..?..”
.phillip ure..
EEEeeewwwww Who was that old perv ? tried to give me a Business card, he called it a selfie.
“You’re leaving, so soon. Oh, for a brighter future, me too.”
Welcome to planet Key, there’s room for just a couple more…
“So when are you two off on your OE? – mine starts in November”.
“Please don’t hurt me Mr.”
Finally, a job I can do.
You two are my idea of an egalitarian society. All the rich are equal and all the rest…. weeelll…..who cares.
JK: “Sorry kids, there are no toilets on Planet Key”
Students: “That’s OK Sir, we just crapped in your BMW”
JK: “Oh yeah? Well I have already crapped on your future, now f*ck off”
Students: “No worries, we are f*cking off to Australia pretty soon”
“You make us laugh, is it true you’re Winston’s puppet?”
Several minutes after the photo shoot…
Student A: About that bloke’s toupee…whaddya reckon?
Student B: OMG it’s, like, sooooooo I dunno…erm…different…ha ha ha.
Student A: ” I dont care if this is a photo Op, take your left hand off my arse”
Student B: ” You heared her You Perv or I head Butt You!”
Keys: “This never happens in photo Ops with My Mate Barack”
Key: Ah, fine upstanding industrious young people! So, tell me, you’ve just turned eighteen, who are you going to vote for this year?
Female student: Not sociopathic right-wingers, thank you. And please tell Colin Craig that his tinfoil hat isn’t at all fashionable.
Male student: Please, Prime Minister, don’t privatise my grandmother!
It will cost you five bucks each to come thru this gate plus gst- John
Kids awe shit u mate
Ok Which of you sods super glued my hand to this gate?
Awww Dad do we have to go see Auntie Paula again?
Dad I have heard she drinks her own urine ..she’s not human!
Now Now children she’s not that bad
The Tree: ” Oh Children I am here……It’s Your Auntie Paula, don’t you recognize me?”
Girls welcome to the brighter future of gated communities!
Girls welcome to the brighter future of gated communities!