Written By: - Date published: 9:10 am, April 23rd, 2012 - 57 comments
John Key likes to trade on his experience as a, well, trader. You know, he’s the deal maker. The one to steer us through tough economic times, to get our exports growing. He understands the markets and that knowledge will benefit New Zealand. But, how well has he really done? Let’s start this series close to home for Key: the exchange rate.
Written By: - Date published: 6:40 am, April 16th, 2012 - 40 comments
Key is on another holiday trade mission to Indonesia, starting with a round of golf followed by a BBQ. While researching this, I learned something: You know how Key and Boag were both at the same golf tournament when the Nat Civil War blew open? Turns out you and I paid the $500K prize for that tournament. On an unrelated note, we definitely can’t afford to extend paid parental leave.
Written By: - Date published: 1:29 pm, August 6th, 2011 - 37 comments
January 2009. Jobs are being lost at 4,000 per week. Key and his government have just come back from a month long holiday. First thing he does: makes an audition tape for Letterman. Notice how all the jokes are taking the mickey out of our country. Makes you real proud.
Written By: - Date published: 6:29 pm, August 1st, 2011 - 165 comments
Remember John Key’s awful Letterman appearance? Supposedly worth a fortune in tourism. We know that was complete crap. It was a stunt meant to impress us saps. Now we learn that we paid for it. PM’s office pleaded for months to get on Letterman. Try-hard even sent a demo tape. When that didn’t work, they paid a US PR agency $10K to seal the deal.
Written By: - Date published: 9:02 am, July 26th, 2011 - 55 comments
The Right is whining that Key said “If [the Norway massacre] is an act of global terrorism, I think what it shows is no country large or small is immune from that risk and that’s why New Zealand’s played its part in Afghanistan” . ‘IF! Don’t you see, IF!’ Try to get the point, righties. Key opportunistically framed a tragedy for his political purposes.
Written By: - Date published: 11:43 am, July 25th, 2011 - 26 comments
Gotta love the piece in the Herald today about Key[s]‘s meeting with Obama. No mention of what was discussed or achieved (nothing). Just ‘oh they got along. And Key would have made Obama laugh. If Obama wasn’t busy with important stuff’. Best part in this non-bylined article is the list of what makes them such good buddies.
Written By: - Date published: 12:25 pm, July 24th, 2011 - 27 comments
Classic Key on his holiday very important series of very important meetings that were very important and achieved all kinds of important things: “I’ve got to be the luckiest Prime Minister of New Zealand in the last 25 years. I’ve come to Washington and every single person who we’ve met with from the Administration has wanted to see us” Yay! Meetings!
Written By: - Date published: 12:55 pm, July 23rd, 2011 - 261 comments
The bombing and shootings in Norway overshadowed Key’s meeting with Obama. But he was quick to exploit Norway’s tragedy for political gain saying: “I think what it shows is no country large or small is immune from risk [of 'global' terrorism] and that’s why New Zealand plays its part in Afghanistan.” Truth is, the attacker was a rightwing Norwegian.
[Update: more than 80 dead at the camp]
Written By: - Date published: 9:05 am, July 22nd, 2011 - 9 comments
3 days of dinners and walking around looking for a photo-op in LA done, Key’s in DC. But his meetings are being cancelled by people with better stuff to do. Not to worry. The big date is still on: providing “light relief“, in his own words, for Obama. Wonder if he’ll tell him in the one about the national cycleway. Or pull out the ‘brighter future’ gag.
Written By: - Date published: 1:25 pm, July 19th, 2011 - 38 comments
If you’re pissed off about how much you’re paying to fly your to LA PM to eat pavs, you’re just envious.
Written By: - Date published: 10:30 am, July 19th, 2011 - 43 comments
Key’s off on holiday again. 5 days of taxpayer-funded travel and the only real meeting will be half an hour with Obama. But first, he’s in LA solely to have dinner with Warners. Value for our money eh? Key’s more excited about standing in the Oval Office so he can pretend to be powerful than achieving anything solid from his time in the US.
Written By: - Date published: 9:16 am, July 18th, 2011 - 41 comments
Written By: - Date published: 2:08 pm, May 7th, 2011 - 28 comments
“We see you on TV a lot. What else do you do?” – schoolkid to John Key at yet another photo-op.
In other news, Key was lying when he said he doesn’t have any choice over his DPS entourage. Helen Clark dismissed her DPS cover for at least 73 days when on private holidays. Key spent $30K of our money taking the DPS to Hawaii.
Written By: - Date published: 8:56 am, May 1st, 2011 - 14 comments
Pussy Key, pussy Key, where have you been?
I’ve been down to London to visit the Queen.
Pussy Key, pussy Key, what did you there?
Sweet fuck all, but thanks for paying for my holiday
Written By: - Date published: 10:51 am, January 3rd, 2011 - 159 comments
We’ve always said that John Key was only in politics for his personal reward. He just wants to have ‘PM of NZ’ on his CV. He just wants to go around smiling and waving at people who know who he is because of the office he holds. Now, he’s admitted as much by telling the Herald he’ll quit politics if we don’t re-elect him.
Written By: - Date published: 10:10 am, December 22nd, 2010 - 44 comments
It seems we don’t have a government at the moment. John Key is incommunicado in Hawaii. The Acting PM, Bill English, and Key’s press people refuse to speak for him. Someone needs to front up because serious questions are emerging about the honesty of statements Gerry Brownlee and Murray McCully made in Parliament and to the New Zealand people.
Written By: - Date published: 10:00 pm, November 16th, 2010 - 23 comments
Judged by his own terms, what has John Key actually achieved on trade? He talked big about Japan’s trade barriers – no-one paid him any attention. Russian FTA talks were announced – it’ll be worth just $27 million. Key’s meeting with ‘good mate’ Obama – actually sitting “pretty much next to” him during a play. And still no White House invite.
Written By: - Date published: 11:00 am, November 15th, 2010 - 29 comments
What’s so great about free trade negotiations with Russia? We export only $180 million a year to them, most of it butter. That’s 2% of our exports to the US and Japan and Key’s made no progress on their trade barriers. Rising oil costs will soon make our butter uncompetitive vs Russian dairy farmers. Key got his photo op – but not with Obama.
Written By: - Date published: 11:51 am, November 13th, 2010 - 31 comments
John Key has been on holiday in Japan for the last few days ahead of APEC while the real international leaders are in Korea for the G20. Key is keen to have a ‘pull-aside’ with Obama but, now, disaster: the US has limited the number of Kiwi media that can cover the smiling and waving. Key has leaped into action.
Written By: - Date published: 2:22 pm, November 12th, 2010 - 12 comments
John Key got to Japan for his Apec meeting a couple of days ago, and he’s been telling the Japanese they need to drop their tariffs, and the US he’d like to have a chat with Obama on the sidelines of a meeting, any meeting, please… But nobody else is there. They’re all still at the G20, across the ditch in Korea. What’s John Key doing?
Written By: - Date published: 5:05 pm, November 7th, 2010 - 34 comments
This NAct government is so anti-worker that they have managed to re-arrange the calendar so that we get 5 fewer holidays in this government’s term than the last Labour one. And that’s before they sell off our 4th week.
Written By: - Date published: 11:45 am, October 8th, 2010 - 26 comments
The Christchurch earthquake required the suspension of democracy nationwide for 18 months. But Key had time to take a week in Hawaii. And the Social Development Minister is able to go off on a ‘study’ holiday in the US. And Gerry Brownlee, who needed all those powers to rush through laws, has spare time to intervene in The Hobbit dispute.
Written By: - Date published: 11:45 am, October 1st, 2010 - 40 comments
Why does our Minister of Tourism always take his holidays overseas?
Written By: - Date published: 6:45 am, September 30th, 2010 - 65 comments
Despite Bill English’s firm statement that “unemployment has peaked”, jobs are still being lost in large numbers. 1500 council workers in Auckland. 150 mushroom workers in Morrinsville. 500 workers whose quake hit employers are closing down in Christchurch. From John Key’s Hawaiian beach chair these worries must seem very far away.
Written By: - Date published: 10:00 am, September 7th, 2010 - 28 comments
I didn’t want to be the first to say it. Since John Armstrong now has, I will ask the question too: why the hell is the John Key planning to go for a holiday weekend with the Queen and a chat with his carbon-copy David Cameron when our second-largest city is a disaster zone? It seems he doesn’t appreciate the responsibilities of his job and just wants to be Minister for Overseas Holidays.
Written By: - Date published: 9:15 pm, August 30th, 2010 - 12 comments
Self-styled ‘Jokemeister-in-chief’ John Key has been selected from a host of eager clowns, buffoons, and slapstick artists (known as the National Party) to perform for Queen Elizabeth the Second for a weekend next month. Asked if he has any nerves ahead of the big show, Key whipped out his old catchphrase saying “nah, I’m pretty relaxed”.
Written By: - Date published: 9:08 am, July 8th, 2010 - 19 comments
Is $175 an hour to hire a clown a good deal? Because you and I might think we are paying $350,000 a year plus expenses for a Prime Minister but it seems not. Yesterday, he spnt his time opening a pizza place. Next week: Key attends opening of letter.
Written By: - Date published: 2:05 pm, June 9th, 2010 - 18 comments
So John Key is going to get to fly over and see the All Whites at the World Cup. Maybe he could do a match report for Radio New Zealand whilst he’s there. The World’s biggest sporting event by far, the Football World Cup, features New Zealand for the first time in 28 years. Can Radio New Zealand afford to send someone to cover this major story for our country? No.
Written By: - Date published: 8:35 am, April 18th, 2010 - 94 comments
Pete Bethune is one of New Zealand’s heroes. He’s been a successful entrepreneur and gone on to use his wealth to fight the big guys on the grounds of principle. As skipper of the New Zealand flagged hi-tech boat Earthrace, his circumnavigation attempts showcased kiwi ingenuity to the world and demonstrated the value of bio-fuels to …
Written By: - Date published: 9:56 am, April 17th, 2010 - 41 comments
If you want to read something vomit-inducing this morning, there’s no need to go any further than Audrey Young’s interview with Key about his overseas trip. Key talks about touching Barack Obama, sharing secrets with Stephen Harper, discussing Berlusconi’s boat, and how Angela Merkel knew Helen Clark quite well. If only Audrey Young were taking the piss, it wouldn’t be so yellow and chunky.
Written By: - Date published: 10:23 am, March 9th, 2010 - 45 comments
There are 276,000 jobless Kiwis. The seasonally-adjusted trend on dole numbers is still on the rise. Many other people fall through the gaps and are unable to get public assistance in their time of need.
What better time for the Minister for Social Development to bugger off for five weeks?
Comments