The Standard » humour http://thestandard.org.nz The New Zealand labour movement used to have its own newspaper. A group of us thought that now might be a good time for it to be digitally reborn: The Standard v2.0 - now in a new format The Standard v3.0 Sun, 27 May 2012 00:48:14 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 ImperatorFish: Budget’s School Report http://thestandard.org.nz/imperatorfish-budgets-school-report/ http://thestandard.org.nz/imperatorfish-budgets-school-report/#comments Fri, 25 May 2012 02:31:11 +0000 The Standard http://thestandard.org.nz/?p=79647 Budget is a sluggish student who shows no enthusiasm or energy, and must be coaxed into making even the tiniest effort. His attitude is all wrong. He is something of a braggart, repeatedly telling all of his peers how fast he is, even though when challenged to a race he always finds an excuse to back out.

]]> http://thestandard.org.nz/imperatorfish-budgets-school-report/feed/ 5 Caption competition http://thestandard.org.nz/caption-competition-21/ http://thestandard.org.nz/caption-competition-21/#comments Fri, 25 May 2012 00:58:53 +0000 The Standard http://thestandard.org.nz/?p=79621

]]> http://thestandard.org.nz/caption-competition-21/feed/ 39 ImperatorFish: Take Your Medicine http://thestandard.org.nz/imperatorfish-take-your-medicine/ http://thestandard.org.nz/imperatorfish-take-your-medicine/#comments Tue, 22 May 2012 06:54:17 +0000 The Standard http://thestandard.org.nz/?p=79468 Scott at Imperator Fish has kindly given us permission to syndicate posts from his blog – the original of this post is here.
You've probably heard a lot about the National government's austerity measures, and I know you're probably worrying whether this belt-tightening is really worth it.

]]> http://thestandard.org.nz/imperatorfish-take-your-medicine/feed/ 0 ImperatorFish: Good News On Asteroid Front Shows Government On Track http://thestandard.org.nz/imperatorfish-good-news-on-asteroid-front-shows-government-on-track/ http://thestandard.org.nz/imperatorfish-good-news-on-asteroid-front-shows-government-on-track/#comments Mon, 21 May 2012 06:07:20 +0000 The Standard http://thestandard.org.nz/?p=79390 Scott at Imperator Fish has kindly given us permission to syndicate posts from his blog – the original of this post is here.

A guest post from the Finance Minister.

]]> http://thestandard.org.nz/imperatorfish-good-news-on-asteroid-front-shows-government-on-track/feed/ 1 ImperatorFish: New Wiggles Line-up Announced http://thestandard.org.nz/imperatorfish-new-wiggles-line-up-announced/ http://thestandard.org.nz/imperatorfish-new-wiggles-line-up-announced/#comments Fri, 18 May 2012 03:46:04 +0000 The Standard http://thestandard.org.nz/?p=79301 Scott at Imperator Fish has kindly given us permission to syndicate posts from his blog – the original of this post is here.

Friday afternoon fun: Trevor Mallard becomes a Wiggle.

]]> http://thestandard.org.nz/imperatorfish-new-wiggles-line-up-announced/feed/ 8 Emmerson: Is Key mum enough? http://thestandard.org.nz/emmerson-is-key-mum-enough/ http://thestandard.org.nz/emmerson-is-key-mum-enough/#comments Thu, 17 May 2012 00:58:58 +0000 The Standard http://thestandard.org.nz/?p=79226

]]> http://thestandard.org.nz/emmerson-is-key-mum-enough/feed/ 9 Performance pay for ministers to be introduced http://thestandard.org.nz/performance-pay-for-ministers-to-be-introduced/ http://thestandard.org.nz/performance-pay-for-ministers-to-be-introduced/#comments Wed, 16 May 2012 23:46:12 +0000 Zetetic http://thestandard.org.nz/?p=79194 http://thestandard.org.nz/performance-pay-for-ministers-to-be-introduced/feed/ 10 Caption competition http://thestandard.org.nz/caption-competition-20/ http://thestandard.org.nz/caption-competition-20/#comments Fri, 11 May 2012 02:39:41 +0000 The Standard http://thestandard.org.nz/?p=78989

]]> http://thestandard.org.nz/caption-competition-20/feed/ 53 Sinking homicide rate justifies murder spree – PM http://thestandard.org.nz/sinking-homicide-rate-justifies-murder-spree-pm/ http://thestandard.org.nz/sinking-homicide-rate-justifies-murder-spree-pm/#comments Wed, 09 May 2012 00:21:01 +0000 Zetetic http://thestandard.org.nz/?p=78847 The Government's 'sinking lid' on homicides means that John Key can personally garotte 3-5 enemies and the overall number of killings will still decrease, a smiling Prime Minister told journalists today. "On current trends, the number of murders is dropping by half a dozen a year. Which means no-one should mind if I bump off a few annoying arseholes" said Mr Key

]]> http://thestandard.org.nz/sinking-homicide-rate-justifies-murder-spree-pm/feed/ 15 Kim Dotcom – John Banks Song http://thestandard.org.nz/kim-dotcom-john-banks-song/ http://thestandard.org.nz/kim-dotcom-john-banks-song/#comments Sun, 06 May 2012 21:09:57 +0000 The Standard http://thestandard.org.nz/?p=78764 Amnesia is a song about the John Banks donation saga in New Zealand - from "MrKimDotcom" on YouTube. Help it go viral...

]]> http://thestandard.org.nz/kim-dotcom-john-banks-song/feed/ 48 ImperatorFish: A Statement By John Banks http://thestandard.org.nz/imperatorfish-a-statement-by-john-banks/ http://thestandard.org.nz/imperatorfish-a-statement-by-john-banks/#comments Mon, 30 Apr 2012 03:33:56 +0000 The Standard http://thestandard.org.nz/?p=78443 Scott at Imperator Fish has kindly given us permission to syndicate posts from his blog – the original of this post is here.

On Sunday morning I made it clear to Paul Holmes on TVNZ's Q&A current affairs show that I didn't come up the river on a cabbage boat. I am aware that a number of my enemies are trying to catch me out, so in order to "front-foot" this matter I am making the following statement...

]]> http://thestandard.org.nz/imperatorfish-a-statement-by-john-banks/feed/ 50 ImperatorFish: Booze-busting Banks Divides ACT http://thestandard.org.nz/imperatorfish-booze-busting-banks-divides-act/ http://thestandard.org.nz/imperatorfish-booze-busting-banks-divides-act/#comments Tue, 24 Apr 2012 02:42:35 +0000 The Standard http://thestandard.org.nz/?p=78067 Scott at Imperator Fish has kindly given us permission to syndicate posts from his blog – the original of this post is here.
A bitter fight has erupted within the ACT Party over the decision by leader John Banks to vote against keeping the alcohol purchasing age at 18.

]]> http://thestandard.org.nz/imperatorfish-booze-busting-banks-divides-act/feed/ 3 Economic genius http://thestandard.org.nz/economic-genius/ http://thestandard.org.nz/economic-genius/#comments Sat, 21 Apr 2012 21:58:08 +0000 Anthony R0bins http://thestandard.org.nz/?p=77970 Behold the economic genius of John Key.

]]> http://thestandard.org.nz/economic-genius/feed/ 41 ImperatorFish: Key Explains Sky City Deal http://thestandard.org.nz/imperatorfish-key-explains-sky-city-deal/ http://thestandard.org.nz/imperatorfish-key-explains-sky-city-deal/#comments Fri, 20 Apr 2012 03:25:20 +0000 The Standard http://thestandard.org.nz/?p=77938 Scott at Imperator Fish has kindly given us permission to syndicate posts from his blog – the original of this post is here.

Scott organises a guest column from JK about the fabulous deal with award winning entertainment venue Sky City.

]]> http://thestandard.org.nz/imperatorfish-key-explains-sky-city-deal/feed/ 11 ImperatorFish: This Week’s Political Gallery http://thestandard.org.nz/imperatorfish-this-weeks-political-gallery/ http://thestandard.org.nz/imperatorfish-this-weeks-political-gallery/#comments Thu, 12 Apr 2012 02:06:40 +0000 The Standard http://thestandard.org.nz/?p=77566 Scott at Imperator Fish has kindly given us permission to syndicate posts from his blog – the original of this post is here.

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