web analytics
The Standard

Enlightening debate

Written By: - Date published: 11:03 am, June 25th, 2008 - 67 comments
Categories: Environment, humour, slippery - Tags: ,

In Parliament yesterday:

Anderton: “Has the Minister received any reports on how many National Party members it takes to change a light bulb?”

Cullen: “None. Because they like to keep us in the dark.”

67 comments on “Enlightening debate”

  1. Billy 1

    Take my wife…

  2. T-rex 2

    LEGEND!

  3. mike 3

    Yes he may have lost all resprect as a finance Minister but at least he still has his sense of humour – for now

  4. lukas 4

    not quite sure it went down like that Eddy… I believe that Wilson stepped in and stopped the question before Mikey could answer that… we all know that an answer like that is well past Mikey.

  5. Man Jim Anderton rocks! Except for the whole drug wowsery..

    Billy – is that a serious offer?

  6. Except that never happened, in fact it took more than two hours for Cullen to deliver the punch line….real quick wit that!

  7. Whaleoil letting the facts get in the way of a good story? Now, there’s a turn up for the books.

  8. andy 8

    Billy,

    No thanks, trying to cut down..

  9. lukas 9

    No SP… looks like once again you guys are changing the facts to suit your agenda.

    [‘humour’. SP]

  10. Hi Whale. I was looking at Iron Bark stuff the other day. It really is some history of failure you’ve got there. I’m amazed the National Front let a loser like you join…

  11. lukas 11

    Sod… you really do come across as someone obsessed with Whale… I think you need to seek help?

  12. lukas – are you Cameron’s minder or something? Or just his little pet?

    Oh and fool, you don’t put a question mark at the end of a statement (unless you are indicating you don’t know what you think which given your failure to maintain an argument may well be the case.) I think you need to seek literacy training…

  13. ‘Sod, What’s iron bark?

  14. lukas 14

    No Sod, a fair amount of the time I disagree with what he says and does.

    I am starting to have suspicions about your relationship with him though.

    Thanks for the grammar lesson, maybe you should offer lessons to Chris Cater.

  15. Matthew Pilott 15

    That reminds me of Anchorman – “I’m Ron Burgundy?” Dammit who put that question mark there? You know Ron reads everything in front of him!

  16. Tane 16

    “Thanks for the grammar lesson, maybe you should offer lessons to Chris Cater.”

    Now that’s humour. Will you be offering spelling lessons Lukas?

    [‘not’ or ‘now’? SP]
    [Tane: You changed it, you bastard…]

  17. lukas 17

    Maybe Tane, though I think I will see you at the lessons to

  18. Billy 18

    Oh dear, lukas. You mean “too”.

  19. Vanilla Eis 19

    I must say, this is enlightening debate!

    Thank you ‘sod, Tane, lukas and especially Billy for your contributions.

  20. Pascal's bookie 20

    What a train reck

  21. lukas 21

    great, let us have a spelling discussion rather than admit that Eddie just blatantly lied.

    (happy Tane?)

  22. Tane 22

    Lets? How many?

  23. bill brown 23

    yes, let’s

  24. higherstandard 24

    The Speaker intervenes. “Members are on the verge of being silly again.”

    Gosh what a surprise.

    http://www.nzherald.co.nz/category/story.cfm?c_id=280&objectid=10518215

  25. bill brown 25

    Hey it’s no fun having a grammar war when it’s possible to retrospectively fix your mistakes!

  26. Joker 26

    How many civil servants would it take to change a lightbulb?

    Well you would probably need a couple of people going over the strategy of the replacement, long term effects and so on. They would of course need to engage an outside consultatant to reassure them they had come to the right conclusions because they were too gutless to back their own competence.

    Then you would need someone to consult with those effected by the change, discussing different wattage options e.t.c. This person could perhaps consult local Iwi as well.

    A promotional campaign would need to happen. Perhaps some badges for those in direct partnership with the change. These could have cool catchy messages like “im turned on”,”i have the power” and “I love lightbulb changing success”.

    Then there would need to be at least 5 comms staff letting the public know how this lightbulb change helped New Zealand achieve a brighter future by way of an extensive print and media campaign.

    And of course the dude with the ladder who changes the actual lightbulb.

  27. bill brown 27

    You’ve got a long way to go to live up to your name, Joker. Yawn.

  28. lprent 28

    Yeah – I add a 5 minute edit fixer, and people don’t bother to READ their messages to realize that they should fix them. Jez.

  29. lukas 29

    heh I found it funny- mainly because I imagine under Labour that might actually happen!

  30. Tane. It said ‘not’ then I changed it to ‘now’ then I changed it back and added my note because I thought maybe you were being funny.

  31. lprent 31

    Looks like a Trivial Tuesday?

  32. mike 32

    Excellent Joker :-)

  33. lynn… um, it’s wednesday dude.

    And that’s not a question 😉

  34. r0b 34

    Q: How many National Party members it takes to change a light bulb?
    A: None. Because they like to keep us in the dark.

    Q: How many Act Party members it takes to change a light bulb?
    A: Don’t be silly. Act Party members don’t do manual labour.

    Q: How many NZF Party members it takes to change a light bulb?
    A: I’m sorry, Winston won’t be answering questions submitted by bloggers.

    Q: How many Green Party members it takes to change a light bulb?
    A: Are you sure you wouldn’t rather use a candle?

    Q: How many Progressive Party members it takes to change a light bulb?
    A: Both of them.

    Q: How many UF Party members it takes to change a light bulb?
    A: One.

    Q: How many Labour Party members it takes to change a light bulb?
    A: Three, all of them members of the electricians union.

    Q: How many Maori Party members it takes to change a light bulb?
    A: Tahi, but with full whanau support if needed.

  35. Matthew Pilott 35

    Joker, you forgot to mention that they’d fail to actually install the lightbulb, and it would take a year of cunsulting to negotiate a fix.

    “How many right wingers does it take to change a light bulb?

    None, #^&% off and change it yourself, parasite.”

    Oh, while we’re at the grammar, it’s “affected” not “effected”. You can effect a change, thus making it happen, or be affected by a change, having said change have some impact upon yourself.

  36. lprent 36

    lynn um, it’s wednesday dude.

    Damn I lost a day again. They seem to disappear whenever I get non-trivial simple mutex locking bugs across threads. So what rhymes with wednesday? I thought of a couple but they were a bit crude.

    captcha: ment cummings
    WTF!

  37. Tane 37

    r0b – brilliant.

  38. r0b: Hilarious! 😉

    One comment: The Green one would be better if they insisted the replacement be a CFL. Greens aren’t luddites. They are trying to drag people FORWARD to better, more sustainable technologies. 😉

    Candles produce carbon dioxide, doncha know….

  39. r0b 39

    Too kind. Edit at will, make a better list. Here’s another option for Act for example:

    Q: How many Act Party members does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: If we cut taxes then the light bulb will be motivated to change itself.

    And an improvement for Progressives:

    Q: How many Progressive Party members does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Both of them. Jim holds the ladder.

  40. Phil 40

    Do bloggers at The Standard ever change a lightbulb?

    No – because Steve’s always posting on how National failed the lightbulb in the 1990’s, Tane’s commenting on the injustice that the lightbulb has no rights to determine its hours of work or pay, and Lynn’s fiddling with the electrical infrastructure to make future lightbulb replacement more user friendly

    IrishBill says: hey what about “and IrishBill banned lightbulbs for a week for making jokes about the Standard (humourless bastard)”?

    [lprent: Phil – that is funny. But I never have to change lightbulbs because it is easier to do it once and never have to do it again. Do it once and do it right is my (usual) motto.

    Biggest hassle around here is that I feel like a RB forecaster. Whatever I guess on the traffic around here, it is always too little. You realise I had to scan 12 pages of comments this morning.]

  41. I get it; keep it light an simple and lots of comments preferably about nothing and if we reach 7000 hits or so we’re going to be number 1 on the blogophere list instead of Farrar and kiwiblog. Yeez, and here was me thinking that this site was about quality not quantity.

    Captcha: weakfish Lower ?

  42. T-rex 42

    Jealous much there Travellerev? Cheer up, you’ve had 9 comments on your awesome ‘blog in the last two weeks and only 8 of them were completely vacuous – you’re on your way to stardom just keep at it!

  43. Billy 43

    Ev,

    “light and simple”

    “blogosphere”

    Geez”

  44. How many National MPs?

    The whole caucus. One to change the bulb while the rest tell us all how much better the light bulbs are in Australia.

  45. Stephen 45

    You didn’t seriously ban Phil for *that*?

  46. T-rex 46

    I think he was kidding.

    I HOPE you were kidding Irish!

  47. T-rex,

    I’m very happy with my blog and how it’s progressing. For an anonymous female Dutch blogger to be, within 4 months of asking Tim Selwyn to put me on the blogosphere list, on number 44 next to John Key’s 43 mr. New Prime minister with only two hits on average less than one of the most well known politicians? You’ve got be kidding me to call that a failure. I never intended it to be a comment blog. And seeing the comments here I think I’ll keep it that way. Who needs a bunch of wankers trolling every post you put up. Do you have a blog or is writing crap on this site all you’re capable off and what about the you wouldn’t comment on my comments any more.

    I think it’s you who is jealous. Loser.

  48. IrishBill 48

    It was a joke! Crikey, do you lot really think I’m that bad tempered?

  49. Stephen 49

    Tempers seem to flare every now and then. Hard to really tell with all in text form though isn’t it? In light of this new and compelling testimony, it would seem that the “(humourless bastard)” comment was directed at yourself and not Phil.

  50. Q: How many Progressive Party members does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Both of them. Jim holds the ladder, ready to pull it away if need be.

    Q: How many UnitedFuture Party members does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: A reasonable number

  51. T-rex,

    Visiting my blog? and counting comments? Man I must have touched a raw nerve. LOL

  52. T-rex 52

    Travellerev – Yeah, you’re right, my bad. You’re clearly the next Robert Fisk. You should be careful, if you become any bigger newscorp will probably offer to buy you out and you’ll lose all credibility.

    Go and read my commitment again, I said “on that thread”. I also meant, but didn’t say “on that topic”. Which I really hope the mods delete if you threadjack with anywhere else.

    Irish – I thought you were pretty mellow actually, which is why I was surprised when stephen mentioned it!

    Steve – Ha!

  53. T-rex 53

    Hey, don’t get catty, I probably doubled your hits for this week – god willing you might edge past Key!

  54. How many Kiwis does it take to change a light bulb:
    National voting Kiwi’s will tell you: “If its broken it must be Labours fault, if we had been in power all the light bulbs would have worked famously, after we had reduced the number of unnecessary light bulbs of course.”
    Labour voting Kiwi’s will tell you:” Yes, the bulb is broken but it would have been worse under National, there would have been no more bulbs to replace.”

  55. T-rex 55

    Q: How many Family Party MP’s does it take to change a lightbulb?

    A: Never happen, social conservatives hate changing anything.

  56. r0b 56

    Q: How many UnitedFuture Party members does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: A reasonable number

    Indeed! My answer for that one was modelled on an obscure version (from a web site I saw once, the Dull Men’s Club) –
    Q: How many dull men does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: One.
    It’s the dullest, most sensible answer.

    (The DMC had plenty of dull jokes: http://www.dullmen.com/home.html )

    Edit: T-rex – excellent!

  57. Stephen 57

    I’m a sensitive lad…

  58. T-rex,

    At least I get my ratings on content and yes, the stuff I write myself gets the most hits so back off. And no I don’t need your patronising pseudo science crap to up my hits.

  59. darryl p 59

    Best thread on the standard ever. Right and Left come out of their trenches to kick the football around on Christmas DAy.

  60. Matthew Pilott 60

    How many anti-climaxes does it take to change a lightbulb?

    Four.

  61. T-rex 62

    Over my head sorry matt…

  62. outofbed 63

    How many Farrar s does it take to change a Light bulb ?
    None , he just asks lightbulb girl

  63. Phil 64

    How many John Key’s does it take to change a light bulb?

    Well, erm… we don’t think that there should be any, umm… specific cap put in place which, you know… limits the choice of the individual bulb to, ahh… decide for itself whether or not it wants to change. What National is commited to is, erm… reducing the waste within government so that, umm… this ordinary kiwi bulb can keep more of the rewards for it’s own, ahh… effort through our program of tax cuts.

  64. Phil 65

    How many Whaleoil’s does it take to change a lightbulb?

    One to blog how the previous lights departure is clearly a sign of the corruption within the Labour government driving bulbs away from NZ. And, one to post pictures of the blub with a naked chick so that you can guess what type of bulb it was.

  65. Lew 66

    How many political bloggers does it take to change a lightbulb?

    One to change the lightbulb, a dozen to congratulate him for doing so, a dozen to tell him how he ought to have changed it, and a dozen more to complain that it didn’t need changing in the first place.

    L

  66. Phil
    LOL on John Key changing light bulb

Links to post

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • Waitangi 2016
    I have been to Waitangi every Waitangi Day except one since 2000. As usual, the good news and positive political events were ignored by many media. The Greens, for example, had a very good reception at Te Tii Marae. We… ...
    GreensBy Catherine Delahunty MP
    7 hours ago
  • Waitangi 2016
    I have been to Waitangi every Waitangi Day except one since 2000. As usual, the good news and positive political events were ignored by many media. The Greens, for example, had a very good reception at Te Tii Marae. We… ...
    GreensBy Catherine Delahunty MP
    7 hours ago
  • TPPA people power protests
    It was great to see such a big turnout – at least 15,000 in Auckland by some estimates. That’s a lot of people not buying the National Government’s spin on the TPPA. I was at the Auckland protests along with… ...
    GreensBy Denise Roche MP
    4 days ago
  • Ten Ways We can Honour Te Tiriti
    1. Learn about our history and current issues – Te Tiriti education is powerful, inspiring and available! 2. Learn about where you live and who the manawhenua are and what their issues in rebuilding their culture are. 3. Support manawhenua… ...
    GreensBy Catherine Delahunty MP
    4 days ago
  • “Not one more acre”
    The Public Works Act has too often been used to confiscate Māori land, and Members of Parliament will soon get a chance to vote to stop this. The original Public Works Act was developed in the 1860’s to facilitate… ...
    GreensBy Catherine Delahunty MP
    5 days ago
  • Rules needed so we can swim in Canterbury rivers
    First published in The Press on 1 February 2016 A work colleague recently asked me which rivers and lakes I’d recommend she take her son and nephew swimming during an upcoming visit to Christchurch, somewhere handy to the city. I… ...
    GreensBy Eugenie Sage MP
    1 week ago
  • Rules needed so we can swim in Canterbury rivers
    First published in The Press on 1 February 2016 A work colleague recently asked me which rivers and lakes I’d recommend she take her son and nephew swimming during an upcoming visit to Christchurch, somewhere handy to the city. I… ...
    GreensBy Eugenie Sage MP
    1 week ago
  • Vulnerable women the victims of Govt inaction
    The Government’s failure to address the housing crisis and its refusal to steps to raise wages have led to vulnerable women being exploited, Labour’s spokesperson for Women Ruth Dyson says. “Reports today that women are being offered free rent in… ...
    1 week ago
  • Vulnerable women the victims of Govt inaction
    The Government’s failure to address the housing crisis and its refusal to steps to raise wages have led to vulnerable women being exploited, Labour’s spokesperson for Women Ruth Dyson says. “Reports today that women are being offered free rent in… ...
    1 week ago
  • Vulnerable women the victims of Govt inaction
    The Government’s failure to address the housing crisis and its refusal to steps to raise wages have led to vulnerable women being exploited, Labour’s spokesperson for Women Ruth Dyson says. “Reports today that women are being offered free rent in… ...
    1 week ago
  • Vulnerable women the victims of Govt inaction
    The Government’s failure to address the housing crisis and its refusal to steps to raise wages have led to vulnerable women being exploited, Labour’s spokesperson for Women Ruth Dyson says. “Reports today that women are being offered free rent in… ...
    1 week ago
  • Vulnerable women the victims of Govt inaction
    The Government’s failure to address the housing crisis and its refusal to steps to raise wages have led to vulnerable women being exploited, Labour’s spokesperson for Women Ruth Dyson says. “Reports today that women are being offered free rent in… ...
    1 week ago
  • Vulnerable women the victims of Govt inaction
    The Government’s failure to address the housing crisis and its refusal to steps to raise wages have led to vulnerable women being exploited, Labour’s spokesperson for Women Ruth Dyson says. “Reports today that women are being offered free rent in… ...
    1 week ago
  • Arms Control a priority for the Pacific
    Labour’s Pacific Island Affairs spokesperson Su’a William Sio and Chair of New Zealand’s Parliamentarians for Global Action says his priority will be getting the Pacific to sign up to the Arms Trade Treaty after being appointed by the PGA as… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Arms Control a priority for the Pacific
    Labour’s Pacific Island Affairs spokesperson Su’a William Sio and Chair of New Zealand’s Parliamentarians for Global Action says his priority will be getting the Pacific to sign up to the Arms Trade Treaty after being appointed by the PGA as… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Arms Control a priority for the Pacific
    Labour’s Pacific Island Affairs spokesperson Su’a William Sio and Chair of New Zealand’s Parliamentarians for Global Action says his priority will be getting the Pacific to sign up to the Arms Trade Treaty after being appointed by the PGA as… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Arms Control a priority for the Pacific
    Labour’s Pacific Island Affairs spokesperson Su’a William Sio and Chair of New Zealand’s Parliamentarians for Global Action says his priority will be getting the Pacific to sign up to the Arms Trade Treaty after being appointed by the PGA as… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Arms Control a priority for the Pacific
    Labour’s Pacific Island Affairs spokesperson Su’a William Sio and Chair of New Zealand’s Parliamentarians for Global Action says his priority will be getting the Pacific to sign up to the Arms Trade Treaty after being appointed by the PGA as… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Arms Control a priority for the Pacific
    Labour’s Pacific Island Affairs spokesperson Su’a William Sio and Chair of New Zealand’s Parliamentarians for Global Action says his priority will be getting the Pacific to sign up to the Arms Trade Treaty after being appointed by the PGA as… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • National must listen to Maori TPPA concerns
    The National Government must listen to the widespread opposition to the Trans-Pacific Partnership Agreement (TPPA) if it is to retain credibility with Māori, says Labour’s Maori Development spokesperson Kelvin Davis. “The Iwi Leaders Forum met with Trade Minister Todd McClay… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • National must listen to Maori TPPA concerns
    The National Government must listen to the widespread opposition to the Trans-Pacific Partnership Agreement (TPPA) if it is to retain credibility with Māori, says Labour’s Maori Development spokesperson Kelvin Davis. “The Iwi Leaders Forum met with Trade Minister Todd McClay… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • National must listen to Maori TPPA concerns
    The National Government must listen to the widespread opposition to the Trans-Pacific Partnership Agreement (TPPA) if it is to retain credibility with Māori, says Labour’s Maori Development spokesperson Kelvin Davis. “The Iwi Leaders Forum met with Trade Minister Todd McClay… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • National must listen to Maori TPPA concerns
    The National Government must listen to the widespread opposition to the Trans-Pacific Partnership Agreement (TPPA) if it is to retain credibility with Māori, says Labour’s Maori Development spokesperson Kelvin Davis. “The Iwi Leaders Forum met with Trade Minister Todd McClay… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • National must listen to Maori TPPA concerns
    The National Government must listen to the widespread opposition to the Trans-Pacific Partnership Agreement (TPPA) if it is to retain credibility with Māori, says Labour’s Maori Development spokesperson Kelvin Davis. “The Iwi Leaders Forum met with Trade Minister Todd McClay… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • National must listen to Maori TPPA concerns
    The National Government must listen to the widespread opposition to the Trans-Pacific Partnership Agreement (TPPA) if it is to retain credibility with Māori, says Labour’s Maori Development spokesperson Kelvin Davis. “The Iwi Leaders Forum met with Trade Minister Todd McClay… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Bob Tizard’s passing an end of an era
    Labour Leader Andrew Little has expressed his deepest condolences to the family of former Labour MP and Deputy Prime Minister Bob Tizard who died this afternoon. Robert “Bob” Tizard was a Labour MP for 30 years, representing the seats of… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Bob Tizard’s passing an end of an era
    Labour Leader Andrew Little has expressed his deepest condolences to the family of former Labour MP and Deputy Prime Minister Bob Tizard who died this afternoon. Robert “Bob” Tizard was a Labour MP for 30 years, representing the seats of… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Bob Tizard’s passing an end of an era
    Labour Leader Andrew Little has expressed his deepest condolences to the family of former Labour MP and Deputy Prime Minister Bob Tizard who died this afternoon. Robert “Bob” Tizard was a Labour MP for 30 years, representing the seats of… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Bob Tizard’s passing an end of an era
    Labour Leader Andrew Little has expressed his deepest condolences to the family of former Labour MP and Deputy Prime Minister Bob Tizard who died this afternoon. Robert “Bob” Tizard was a Labour MP for 30 years, representing the seats of… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Bob Tizard’s passing an end of an era
    Labour Leader Andrew Little has expressed his deepest condolences to the family of former Labour MP and Deputy Prime Minister Bob Tizard who died this afternoon. Robert “Bob” Tizard was a Labour MP for 30 years, representing the seats of… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Differing view on TPPA agreed
    Opposition Leader Andrew Little has given dispensation to MP Phil Goff to take his own position on the Trans Pacific Partnership Agreement due to his historic involvement in negotiating its predecessor, the P4. “Phil has had a longstanding involvement and… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Differing view on TPPA agreed
    Opposition Leader Andrew Little has given dispensation to MP Phil Goff to take his own position on the Trans Pacific Partnership Agreement due to his historic involvement in negotiating its predecessor, the P4. “Phil has had a longstanding involvement and… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Differing view on TPPA agreed
    Opposition Leader Andrew Little has given dispensation to MP Phil Goff to take his own position on the Trans Pacific Partnership Agreement due to his historic involvement in negotiating its predecessor, the P4. “Phil has had a longstanding involvement and… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Differing view on TPPA agreed
    Opposition Leader Andrew Little has given dispensation to MP Phil Goff to take his own position on the Trans Pacific Partnership Agreement due to his historic involvement in negotiating its predecessor, the P4. “Phil has had a longstanding involvement and… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Differing view on TPPA agreed
    Opposition Leader Andrew Little has given dispensation to MP Phil Goff to take his own position on the Trans Pacific Partnership Agreement due to his historic involvement in negotiating its predecessor, the P4. “Phil has had a longstanding involvement and… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Differing view on TPPA agreed
    Opposition Leader Andrew Little has given dispensation to MP Phil Goff to take his own position on the Trans Pacific Partnership Agreement due to his historic involvement in negotiating its predecessor, the P4. “Phil has had a longstanding involvement and… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Scandalous Saudi sheep saga rolls on
    It is scurrilous that the Government is pushing ahead with plans to spend many millions of taxpayer money on an abattoir in Saudi Arabia without knowing who’ll end up owning it, Labour MP David Parker says. “More than $12 million… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Scandalous Saudi sheep saga rolls on
    It is scurrilous that the Government is pushing ahead with plans to spend many millions of taxpayer money on an abattoir in Saudi Arabia without knowing who’ll end up owning it, Labour MP David Parker says. “More than $12 million… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Scandalous Saudi sheep saga rolls on
    It is scurrilous that the Government is pushing ahead with plans to spend many millions of taxpayer money on an abattoir in Saudi Arabia without knowing who’ll end up owning it, Labour MP David Parker says. “More than $12 million… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Scandalous Saudi sheep saga rolls on
    It is scurrilous that the Government is pushing ahead with plans to spend many millions of taxpayer money on an abattoir in Saudi Arabia without knowing who’ll end up owning it, Labour MP David Parker says. “More than $12 million… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Scandalous Saudi sheep saga rolls on
    It is scurrilous that the Government is pushing ahead with plans to spend many millions of taxpayer money on an abattoir in Saudi Arabia without knowing who’ll end up owning it, Labour MP David Parker says. “More than $12 million… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Scandalous Saudi sheep saga rolls on
    It is scurrilous that the Government is pushing ahead with plans to spend many millions of taxpayer money on an abattoir in Saudi Arabia without knowing who’ll end up owning it, Labour MP David Parker says. “More than $12 million… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Joyce destroys Government rail link certainty
    Infrastructure Minister Steven Joyce has destroyed the certainty the Prime Minister gave private sector investors in his State of the Nation announcement on the City Rail Link, Labour’s Auckland Issues spokesperson Phil Twyford says.   “Steven Joyce has again poured… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Joyce destroys Government rail link certainty
    Infrastructure Minister Steven Joyce has destroyed the certainty the Prime Minister gave private sector investors in his State of the Nation announcement on the City Rail Link, Labour’s Auckland Issues spokesperson Phil Twyford says.   “Steven Joyce has again poured… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Joyce destroys Government rail link certainty
    Infrastructure Minister Steven Joyce has destroyed the certainty the Prime Minister gave private sector investors in his State of the Nation announcement on the City Rail Link, Labour’s Auckland Issues spokesperson Phil Twyford says.   “Steven Joyce has again poured… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Joyce destroys Government rail link certainty
    Infrastructure Minister Steven Joyce has destroyed the certainty the Prime Minister gave private sector investors in his State of the Nation announcement on the City Rail Link, Labour’s Auckland Issues spokesperson Phil Twyford says.   “Steven Joyce has again poured… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Joyce destroys Government rail link certainty
    Infrastructure Minister Steven Joyce has destroyed the certainty the Prime Minister gave private sector investors in his State of the Nation announcement on the City Rail Link, Labour’s Auckland Issues spokesperson Phil Twyford says.   “Steven Joyce has again poured… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Joyce destroys Government rail link certainty
    Infrastructure Minister Steven Joyce has destroyed the certainty the Prime Minister gave private sector investors in his State of the Nation announcement on the City Rail Link, Labour’s Auckland Issues spokesperson Phil Twyford says.   “Steven Joyce has again poured… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Pasifika caucus visit as Kiribati water crisis deepens
    Water supplies are deteriorating in Kiribati as Labour’s  Pasifika climate change task force prepares to head there and Tuvalu, says Labour’s Pacific Climate Change Spokesperson Su’a William Sio.  “There is a growing crisis on the atolls due to water supplies… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Pasifika caucus visit as Kiribati water crisis deepens
    Water supplies are deteriorating in Kiribati as Labour’s  Pasifika climate change task force prepares to head there and Tuvalu, says Labour’s Pacific Climate Change Spokesperson Su’a William Sio.  “There is a growing crisis on the atolls due to water supplies… ...
    2 weeks ago

  • Taxpayers’ Union Applauds Gareth Morgan’s Generous Offer
    The Taxpayers’ Union is delighted that Gareth Morgan has today offered to top up the crowd sourcing campaign to purchase the beach adjacent to the Awaroa inlet in the South Island. Taxpayers’ Union Executive Director, Jordan Williams, says: ...
    5 hours ago
  • Bill’s Pluses Far Outweigh the Minuses
    The industry umbrella group for New Zealand’s natural products manufacturers and marketers says consumers stand to lose in the long run if erroneous claims about the Natural Health and Supplementary Products (NH&SP) Bill end up stalling its ...
    6 hours ago
  • Motorcycle riders over 40 at risk
    ACC and NZ Police are calling upon motorcyclists and drivers to do more to keep safe on the road. ...
    7 hours ago
  • Closure of Governance Review Ushers in a New Way
    A three-year review of the governance and representation structure of Waikato-Tainui has been brought to a close with the announcement of a new name for its representation body. ...
    9 hours ago
  • No further Tau flies found and restrictions now lifted
    The Ministry for Primary Industries (MPI) confirms that all restrictions on the movement of fruit and vegetables in Manurewa, Auckland, due to the Tau fly, have been lifted as of 2.26pm on Sunday 7 February. ...
    9 hours ago
  • Dame Claudia Orange blasted for cultural insens
    Iwi leader threatens Police involvement Ngapuhi leader David Rankin has stated he will call the Police if necessary over sacred artefacts which he lent to the new Waitangi Museum, but which he claims have been treated “like items at a… ...
    9 hours ago
  • Unintentional Child Injuries Declining
    According to Safekids Aotearoa’s recently released report Child Unintentional Deaths and Injuries in New Zealand, and Prevention Strategies, overall unintentional injury death rates have declined by 19% between 2001 and 2010. Leading causes of ...
    9 hours ago
  • Sexting as concerning for kiwi parents as cyberbullying
    Teenagers sharing naked pictures of themselves has become a number one concern for kiwi parents – with sexting emerging as the most-viewed topic on the digi-parenting.co.nz website. Since July last year, almost 10,000 people per month have visited www.digi-parenting.co.nz ...
    10 hours ago
  • Local lifeguards to assist in refugee crisis
    Local lifeguards to assist in refugee crisis On ANZAC weekend, six members of the Bethells Beach Surf Lifesaving Patrol will head to the Greek Island of Lesvos to assist current operations attempting to decrease the drowning rates for desperate ...
    10 hours ago
  • Awaroa Beach: Little Restraint From Labour
    The Taxpayers’ Union is telling politicians to butt out of the tremendous community effort to purchase a beach next to the Awaroa inlet in the Abel Tasman National Park after Labour Leader Andrew Little called upon the Government to stump… ...
    10 hours ago
  • McCully’s Condemnation of Satellite Launch Sadly Predictable
    Foreign Minister Murray McCully’s condemnation of North Korea’s launch of an earth observation satellite was predictable - he never strays far from American guidance. It was also sadly short-sighted. As a small country it is in our long-term interest ...
    11 hours ago
  • Draft Chapter on Proposed Reform of Te Ture Whenua Māori Act
    WAITANGI TRIBUNAL RELEASES DRAFT CHAPTER ON CLAIMS CONCERNING THE PROPOSED REFORM OF TE TURE WHENUA MĀORI ACT 1993 ...
    11 hours ago
  • Treaty of Waitangi – Found in Translation
    Wellington, New Zealand - Today, the New Zealand Society of Translators and Interpreters (NZSTI) announces the launch of the Treaty Times Thirty project. ...
    11 hours ago
  • Governor-General’s Waitangi Day Address
    Kia ora huihui tātou katoa. To the many, many people who have come at our invitation to celebrate this sacred day for the Treaty of Waitangi, I welcome you to Government House Auckland. I extend my greetings to all who… ...
    11 hours ago
  • Are You Ready to Vote in the Final Flag Referendum?
    Are You Ready to Vote in the Final Flag Referendum? The second referendum on the New Zealand flag is just a few weeks away, and the Electoral Commission wants to ensure all eligible New Zealanders are enrolled and ready to… ...
    12 hours ago
  • Bledisloe Garden Reception cancelled at Government House
    Rain has forced Government House Auckland to cancel the Bledisloe Garden Reception, which was due to start at 4pm this afternoon. The Governor-General, Sir Jerry Mateparae, will still be marking Waitangi Day with a special citizenship ceremony for 25 people… ...
    3 days ago
  • Call for Child Sex Abuse Inquiry
    6th February 2016 “We just haven’t had a Rolf Harris or Jimmy Savile to bring our own dirty laundry out into the open but the time bomb is ticking and powder-keg will ignite.” McVicar ...
    3 days ago
  • Maori are amongst the biggest beneficiaries of TPP
    In the lead up to Waitangi celebrations and the signing of the Trans Pacific Partnership in New Zealand this week, much is being made of Maori opposition to the TPP due to a lack of consultation and a perceived loss… ...
    4 days ago
  • Maori are amongst the biggest beneficiaries of TPP
    In the lead up to Waitangi celebrations and the signing of the Trans Pacific Partnership in New Zealand this week, much is being made of Maori opposition to the TPP due to a lack of consultation and a perceived loss… ...
    4 days ago
  • More than 27,000 new Kiwis in 2015
    This Waitangi Day, New Zealand will roll out the welcome mat to 24 new citizens at Government House, and acknowledge over 27,000 people who were granted citizenship last year. ...
    4 days ago
  • Demolition of 32 & 36 Glendevere Terrace
    Demolition of 32 & 36 Glendevere Terrace Land Information New Zealand (LINZ) and Southern Response today announced that the demolitions of 32 and 36 Glendevere Terrace, Redcliffs, Christchurch will begin next week. ...
    4 days ago
  • Next step in 2GP process
    Dunedin (Friday, 5 February 2016) – The next step in the process of establishing a new Dunedin City District Plan will be underway when further submissions are called for from 10 February. ...
    4 days ago
  • Next step in 2GP process
    Dunedin (Friday, 5 February 2016) – The next step in the process of establishing a new Dunedin City District Plan will be underway when further submissions are called for from 10 February. ...
    4 days ago
  • Report into diplomat debacle shows Ministers’ failures
    The report into the treatment of a diplomat found guilty of indecent assault highlights a failure of Government Ministers to show political leadership over sexual violence, the Green Party said today. ...
    4 days ago
  • Report into diplomat debacle shows Ministers’ failures
    The report into the treatment of a diplomat found guilty of indecent assault highlights a failure of Government Ministers to show political leadership over sexual violence, the Green Party said today. ...
    4 days ago
  • TPP Good News for New Zealand
    TPP Good News for New Zealand by Dr Llew Richards, chief executive of IANZ We all like to travel. We all buy stuff from overseas. But sometimes we pay up to twice the price for something in New Zealand that… ...
    4 days ago
  • TPP Good News for New Zealand
    TPP Good News for New Zealand by Dr Llew Richards, chief executive of IANZ We all like to travel. We all buy stuff from overseas. But sometimes we pay up to twice the price for something in New Zealand that… ...
    4 days ago
  • Council seeks submissions on bylaw amendment
    Palmerston North City Council is calling for submissions on a proposed amendment to the Signs and Use of Public Places Bylaw for Election Signs. ...
    4 days ago
  • Credit Ratings Agency Blackmails Christchurch City Council
    Credit Ratings Agency Blackmails Christchurch City Council on Asset Sales This story slipped by without comment from anyone in the Christmas rush. Better late than never. On December 8th the Press reported that: “Ratings agency Standard & Poor’s ...
    4 days ago
  • Ministry welcomes release of Whitehead Report
    The Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Trade has welcomed the public release of the Whitehead report. ...
    4 days ago
  • TPP Agreement bad for democracy
    International Trade Union Confederation TPP Agreement bad for democracy, rights, public services and health Brussels, 4 February 2016 (ITUC OnLine): The ITUC has called the Trans-Pacific Partnership Agreement (TPP) a major setback for employment ...
    4 days ago
  • TPP Agreement bad for democracy
    International Trade Union Confederation TPP Agreement bad for democracy, rights, public services and health Brussels, 4 February 2016 (ITUC OnLine): The ITUC has called the Trans-Pacific Partnership Agreement (TPP) a major setback for employment ...
    4 days ago
  • Peru signed the Trans-Pacific Partnership in NZ
    Thursday 4 February 2016 Press Release Peru's Foreign Trade and Tourism Minister Magali Silva has signed the Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP) agreement in New Zealand's city of Auckland today along with her counterparts from 11 Pacific countries. The ...
    4 days ago
  • Peru signed the Trans-Pacific Partnership in NZ
    Thursday 4 February 2016 Press Release Peru's Foreign Trade and Tourism Minister Magali Silva has signed the Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP) agreement in New Zealand's city of Auckland today along with her counterparts from 11 Pacific countries. The ...
    4 days ago
  • Protesters project giant message onto SkyCity
    Community organisations representing more than five and a half million people around the world have united to take joint action and express global opposition to the Trans-Pacific Partnership, as Trade Ministers sign the deal at SkyCity in Auckland. ...
    4 days ago
  • Protesters project giant message onto SkyCity
    Community organisations representing more than five and a half million people around the world have united to take joint action and express global opposition to the Trans-Pacific Partnership, as Trade Ministers sign the deal at SkyCity in Auckland. ...
    4 days ago
  • Reserve Bank highlights importance of market discipline
    Reserve Bank highlights importance of market discipline The Reserve Bank today highlighted the importance of market discipline as one of three pillars that help maintain the stability of financial institutions. In a speech this evening hosted by the NZ Bankers… ...
    4 days ago
  • Infrastructure to underpin development of the Northland regi
    “The release today of the Tai Tokerau Northland Economic Action Plan is strongly endorsed by the New Zealand Council for Infrastructure Development (NZCID) and will drive much needed employment, investment and growth in the region,” says NZCID ...
    5 days ago
  • Infrastructure to underpin development of the Northland regi
    “The release today of the Tai Tokerau Northland Economic Action Plan is strongly endorsed by the New Zealand Council for Infrastructure Development (NZCID) and will drive much needed employment, investment and growth in the region,” says NZCID ...
    5 days ago
  • Kiwis reject the TPPA
    Around 15,000 Kiwis marched down Queen Street today to protest against the signing of the TPPA. The march was loud, diverse, family-friendly, peaceful and passionate in its opposition to the TPPA. ...
    5 days ago
  • Kiwis reject the TPPA
    Around 15,000 Kiwis marched down Queen Street today to protest against the signing of the TPPA. The march was loud, diverse, family-friendly, peaceful and passionate in its opposition to the TPPA. ...
    5 days ago
  • NZ-US Council welcomes the signature of the TPP
    NZ-US Council welcomes the signature of the TPP The Executive Director of the NZ-US Council, Fiona Cooper Clarke, has welcomed the signature of the Trans Pacific Partnership (TPP) agreement in Auckland today. “We are delighted that the TPP has been… ...
    5 days ago
  • NZ-US Council welcomes the signature of the TPP
    NZ-US Council welcomes the signature of the TPP The Executive Director of the NZ-US Council, Fiona Cooper Clarke, has welcomed the signature of the Trans Pacific Partnership (TPP) agreement in Auckland today. “We are delighted that the TPP has been… ...
    5 days ago
  • Let Quake Outcasts Move on Says Human Rights Commissioner
    Let Quake Outcasts Move on Says Chief Human Rights Commissioner The Chief Human Rights Commissioner David Rutherford is calling on the Government yet again to settle the Quake Outcasts case following yesterday’s announcement that the Outcasts have ...
    5 days ago
  • Kiwifruit winner in TPP Agreement
    The Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP) Agreement will generate significant value for the New Zealand kiwifruit industry and Zespri welcomes the signing of the Agreement today in Auckland. Zespri Chief Executive Lain Jager explains the TPP will eliminate ...
    5 days ago
  • Kiwifruit winner in TPP Agreement
    The Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP) Agreement will generate significant value for the New Zealand kiwifruit industry and Zespri welcomes the signing of the Agreement today in Auckland. Zespri Chief Executive Lain Jager explains the TPP will eliminate ...
    5 days ago
  • Waihi Dam Update
    Waihi Dam Update Hawke’s Bay Regional Council is hopeful the discharge of sediment from the Waihi Dam into the Waiau River will cease by the end of next week. HBRC staff met with Eastland Group staff and contractors yesterday to… ...
    5 days ago
  • Waihi Dam Update
    Waihi Dam Update Hawke’s Bay Regional Council is hopeful the discharge of sediment from the Waihi Dam into the Waiau River will cease by the end of next week. HBRC staff met with Eastland Group staff and contractors yesterday to… ...
    5 days ago
  • Campaigners vow “final battle” to prevent massive deal
    As TPP is signed in Auckland casino, campaigners vow “final battle” to prevent massive deal being ratified ...
    5 days ago
  • Paddling Cape to Cape for a Cause
    A mission that will see him spend three week on stand up paddle board, paddling from the South Cape to the top of the East Cape of the North Island. ...
    5 days ago

Public service advertisements by The Standard

Current CO2 level in the atmosphere