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Enlightening debate

Written By: - Date published: 11:03 am, June 25th, 2008 - 67 comments
Categories: Environment, humour, slippery - Tags: ,

In Parliament yesterday:

Anderton: “Has the Minister received any reports on how many National Party members it takes to change a light bulb?”

Cullen: “None. Because they like to keep us in the dark.”

67 comments on “Enlightening debate”

  1. Billy 1

    Take my wife…

  2. T-rex 2

    LEGEND!

  3. mike 3

    Yes he may have lost all resprect as a finance Minister but at least he still has his sense of humour – for now

  4. lukas 4

    not quite sure it went down like that Eddy… I believe that Wilson stepped in and stopped the question before Mikey could answer that… we all know that an answer like that is well past Mikey.

  5. Man Jim Anderton rocks! Except for the whole drug wowsery..

    Billy – is that a serious offer?

  6. Except that never happened, in fact it took more than two hours for Cullen to deliver the punch line….real quick wit that!

  7. Whaleoil letting the facts get in the way of a good story? Now, there’s a turn up for the books.

  8. andy 8

    Billy,

    No thanks, trying to cut down..

  9. lukas 9

    No SP… looks like once again you guys are changing the facts to suit your agenda.

    [‘humour’. SP]

  10. Hi Whale. I was looking at Iron Bark stuff the other day. It really is some history of failure you’ve got there. I’m amazed the National Front let a loser like you join…

  11. lukas 11

    Sod… you really do come across as someone obsessed with Whale… I think you need to seek help?

  12. lukas – are you Cameron’s minder or something? Or just his little pet?

    Oh and fool, you don’t put a question mark at the end of a statement (unless you are indicating you don’t know what you think which given your failure to maintain an argument may well be the case.) I think you need to seek literacy training…

  13. ‘Sod, What’s iron bark?

  14. lukas 14

    No Sod, a fair amount of the time I disagree with what he says and does.

    I am starting to have suspicions about your relationship with him though.

    Thanks for the grammar lesson, maybe you should offer lessons to Chris Cater.

  15. Matthew Pilott 15

    That reminds me of Anchorman – “I’m Ron Burgundy?” Dammit who put that question mark there? You know Ron reads everything in front of him!

  16. Tane 16

    “Thanks for the grammar lesson, maybe you should offer lessons to Chris Cater.”

    Now that’s humour. Will you be offering spelling lessons Lukas?

    [‘not’ or ‘now’? SP]
    [Tane: You changed it, you bastard…]

  17. lukas 17

    Maybe Tane, though I think I will see you at the lessons to

  18. Billy 18

    Oh dear, lukas. You mean “too”.

  19. Vanilla Eis 19

    I must say, this is enlightening debate!

    Thank you ‘sod, Tane, lukas and especially Billy for your contributions.

  20. Pascal's bookie 20

    What a train reck

  21. lukas 21

    great, let us have a spelling discussion rather than admit that Eddie just blatantly lied.

    (happy Tane?)

  22. Tane 22

    Lets? How many?

  23. bill brown 23

    yes, let’s

  24. higherstandard 24

    The Speaker intervenes. “Members are on the verge of being silly again.”

    Gosh what a surprise.

    http://www.nzherald.co.nz/category/story.cfm?c_id=280&objectid=10518215

  25. bill brown 25

    Hey it’s no fun having a grammar war when it’s possible to retrospectively fix your mistakes!

  26. Joker 26

    How many civil servants would it take to change a lightbulb?

    Well you would probably need a couple of people going over the strategy of the replacement, long term effects and so on. They would of course need to engage an outside consultatant to reassure them they had come to the right conclusions because they were too gutless to back their own competence.

    Then you would need someone to consult with those effected by the change, discussing different wattage options e.t.c. This person could perhaps consult local Iwi as well.

    A promotional campaign would need to happen. Perhaps some badges for those in direct partnership with the change. These could have cool catchy messages like “im turned on”,”i have the power” and “I love lightbulb changing success”.

    Then there would need to be at least 5 comms staff letting the public know how this lightbulb change helped New Zealand achieve a brighter future by way of an extensive print and media campaign.

    And of course the dude with the ladder who changes the actual lightbulb.

  27. bill brown 27

    You’ve got a long way to go to live up to your name, Joker. Yawn.

  28. lprent 28

    Yeah – I add a 5 minute edit fixer, and people don’t bother to READ their messages to realize that they should fix them. Jez.

  29. lukas 29

    heh I found it funny- mainly because I imagine under Labour that might actually happen!

  30. Tane. It said ‘not’ then I changed it to ‘now’ then I changed it back and added my note because I thought maybe you were being funny.

  31. lprent 31

    Looks like a Trivial Tuesday?

  32. mike 32

    Excellent Joker :-)

  33. lynn… um, it’s wednesday dude.

    And that’s not a question ;)

  34. r0b 34

    Q: How many National Party members it takes to change a light bulb?
    A: None. Because they like to keep us in the dark.

    Q: How many Act Party members it takes to change a light bulb?
    A: Don’t be silly. Act Party members don’t do manual labour.

    Q: How many NZF Party members it takes to change a light bulb?
    A: I’m sorry, Winston won’t be answering questions submitted by bloggers.

    Q: How many Green Party members it takes to change a light bulb?
    A: Are you sure you wouldn’t rather use a candle?

    Q: How many Progressive Party members it takes to change a light bulb?
    A: Both of them.

    Q: How many UF Party members it takes to change a light bulb?
    A: One.

    Q: How many Labour Party members it takes to change a light bulb?
    A: Three, all of them members of the electricians union.

    Q: How many Maori Party members it takes to change a light bulb?
    A: Tahi, but with full whanau support if needed.

  35. Matthew Pilott 35

    Joker, you forgot to mention that they’d fail to actually install the lightbulb, and it would take a year of cunsulting to negotiate a fix.

    “How many right wingers does it take to change a light bulb?

    None, #^&% off and change it yourself, parasite.”

    Oh, while we’re at the grammar, it’s “affected” not “effected”. You can effect a change, thus making it happen, or be affected by a change, having said change have some impact upon yourself.

  36. lprent 36

    lynn um, it’s wednesday dude.

    Damn I lost a day again. They seem to disappear whenever I get non-trivial simple mutex locking bugs across threads. So what rhymes with wednesday? I thought of a couple but they were a bit crude.

    captcha: ment cummings
    WTF!

  37. Tane 37

    r0b – brilliant.

  38. r0b: Hilarious! ;-)

    One comment: The Green one would be better if they insisted the replacement be a CFL. Greens aren’t luddites. They are trying to drag people FORWARD to better, more sustainable technologies. ;-)

    Candles produce carbon dioxide, doncha know….

  39. r0b 39

    Too kind. Edit at will, make a better list. Here’s another option for Act for example:

    Q: How many Act Party members does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: If we cut taxes then the light bulb will be motivated to change itself.

    And an improvement for Progressives:

    Q: How many Progressive Party members does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Both of them. Jim holds the ladder.

  40. Phil 40

    Do bloggers at The Standard ever change a lightbulb?

    No – because Steve’s always posting on how National failed the lightbulb in the 1990’s, Tane’s commenting on the injustice that the lightbulb has no rights to determine its hours of work or pay, and Lynn’s fiddling with the electrical infrastructure to make future lightbulb replacement more user friendly

    IrishBill says: hey what about “and IrishBill banned lightbulbs for a week for making jokes about the Standard (humourless bastard)”?

    [lprent: Phil – that is funny. But I never have to change lightbulbs because it is easier to do it once and never have to do it again. Do it once and do it right is my (usual) motto.

    Biggest hassle around here is that I feel like a RB forecaster. Whatever I guess on the traffic around here, it is always too little. You realise I had to scan 12 pages of comments this morning.]

  41. I get it; keep it light an simple and lots of comments preferably about nothing and if we reach 7000 hits or so we’re going to be number 1 on the blogophere list instead of Farrar and kiwiblog. Yeez, and here was me thinking that this site was about quality not quantity.

    Captcha: weakfish Lower ?

  42. T-rex 42

    Jealous much there Travellerev? Cheer up, you’ve had 9 comments on your awesome ‘blog in the last two weeks and only 8 of them were completely vacuous – you’re on your way to stardom just keep at it!

  43. Billy 43

    Ev,

    “light and simple”

    “blogosphere”

    Geez”

  44. How many National MPs?

    The whole caucus. One to change the bulb while the rest tell us all how much better the light bulbs are in Australia.

  45. Stephen 45

    You didn’t seriously ban Phil for *that*?

  46. T-rex 46

    I think he was kidding.

    I HOPE you were kidding Irish!

  47. T-rex,

    I’m very happy with my blog and how it’s progressing. For an anonymous female Dutch blogger to be, within 4 months of asking Tim Selwyn to put me on the blogosphere list, on number 44 next to John Key’s 43 mr. New Prime minister with only two hits on average less than one of the most well known politicians? You’ve got be kidding me to call that a failure. I never intended it to be a comment blog. And seeing the comments here I think I’ll keep it that way. Who needs a bunch of wankers trolling every post you put up. Do you have a blog or is writing crap on this site all you’re capable off and what about the you wouldn’t comment on my comments any more.

    I think it’s you who is jealous. Loser.

  48. IrishBill 48

    It was a joke! Crikey, do you lot really think I’m that bad tempered?

  49. Stephen 49

    Tempers seem to flare every now and then. Hard to really tell with all in text form though isn’t it? In light of this new and compelling testimony, it would seem that the “(humourless bastard)” comment was directed at yourself and not Phil.

  50. Q: How many Progressive Party members does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Both of them. Jim holds the ladder, ready to pull it away if need be.

    Q: How many UnitedFuture Party members does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: A reasonable number

  51. T-rex,

    Visiting my blog? and counting comments? Man I must have touched a raw nerve. LOL

  52. T-rex 52

    Travellerev – Yeah, you’re right, my bad. You’re clearly the next Robert Fisk. You should be careful, if you become any bigger newscorp will probably offer to buy you out and you’ll lose all credibility.

    Go and read my commitment again, I said “on that thread”. I also meant, but didn’t say “on that topic”. Which I really hope the mods delete if you threadjack with anywhere else.

    Irish – I thought you were pretty mellow actually, which is why I was surprised when stephen mentioned it!

    Steve – Ha!

  53. T-rex 53

    Hey, don’t get catty, I probably doubled your hits for this week – god willing you might edge past Key!

  54. How many Kiwis does it take to change a light bulb:
    National voting Kiwi’s will tell you: “If its broken it must be Labours fault, if we had been in power all the light bulbs would have worked famously, after we had reduced the number of unnecessary light bulbs of course.”
    Labour voting Kiwi’s will tell you:” Yes, the bulb is broken but it would have been worse under National, there would have been no more bulbs to replace.”

  55. T-rex 55

    Q: How many Family Party MP’s does it take to change a lightbulb?

    A: Never happen, social conservatives hate changing anything.

  56. r0b 56

    Q: How many UnitedFuture Party members does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: A reasonable number

    Indeed! My answer for that one was modelled on an obscure version (from a web site I saw once, the Dull Men’s Club) –
    Q: How many dull men does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: One.
    It’s the dullest, most sensible answer.

    (The DMC had plenty of dull jokes: http://www.dullmen.com/home.html )

    Edit: T-rex – excellent!

  57. Stephen 57

    I’m a sensitive lad…

  58. T-rex,

    At least I get my ratings on content and yes, the stuff I write myself gets the most hits so back off. And no I don’t need your patronising pseudo science crap to up my hits.

  59. darryl p 59

    Best thread on the standard ever. Right and Left come out of their trenches to kick the football around on Christmas DAy.

  60. Matthew Pilott 60

    How many anti-climaxes does it take to change a lightbulb?

    Four.

  61. T-rex 62

    Over my head sorry matt…

  62. outofbed 63

    How many Farrar s does it take to change a Light bulb ?
    None , he just asks lightbulb girl

  63. Phil 64

    How many John Key’s does it take to change a light bulb?

    Well, erm… we don’t think that there should be any, umm… specific cap put in place which, you know… limits the choice of the individual bulb to, ahh… decide for itself whether or not it wants to change. What National is commited to is, erm… reducing the waste within government so that, umm… this ordinary kiwi bulb can keep more of the rewards for it’s own, ahh… effort through our program of tax cuts.

  64. Phil 65

    How many Whaleoil’s does it take to change a lightbulb?

    One to blog how the previous lights departure is clearly a sign of the corruption within the Labour government driving bulbs away from NZ. And, one to post pictures of the blub with a naked chick so that you can guess what type of bulb it was.

  65. Lew 66

    How many political bloggers does it take to change a lightbulb?

    One to change the lightbulb, a dozen to congratulate him for doing so, a dozen to tell him how he ought to have changed it, and a dozen more to complain that it didn’t need changing in the first place.

    L

  66. Phil
    LOL on John Key changing light bulb

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