web analytics
The Standard

ImperatorFish: A statement from John Key

Written By: - Date published: 6:31 pm, May 5th, 2014 - 8 comments
Categories: john key, Satire - Tags:

ImperatorFish generously allows us to repost some of his satire.

I want to make it absolutely clear that the National Party are not in any way under the influence of Big Tobacco.

There’s nothing sinister in the fact that a tobacco lobbyist for Philip Morris has won the National Party selection for the safe seat of Clutha Southland, and will be the electorate’s next MP.

It’s also entirely coincidental that a tobacco lobbyist for Philip Morris is seeking the National Party selection for Hutt South.

What’s the problem here? Aren’t these people entitled to stand for Parliament too? People are too quick to forget that tobacco is a legal product. It may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but people have a right to light up.

They say that smoking kills millions of people around the world every year, but I’m sure I could find an expert who would disagree. In fact, I’ll get young Todd onto it right now. He’s bound to know one.

It’s the hypocrisy of the anti-smoking lobby that gets to me. Even if it’s true that tobacco causes harm to our communities, name me one product that doesn’t. Nowadays even water can kill you. But is anyone talking about banning or restricting the supply of water? Why not? Tens of thousands of people die in drowning accidents around the world every year, but nobody’s demanding we put warning labels on bottled water.

Besides, the tobacco industry creates jobs for Kiwis, and if we banned cigarettes it would only hurt the pockets of decent hard-working folk. Just what do you think would happen to your local corner oncologist if we banned smoking?

This government is not in the business of telling people what to do. If a man chooses to celebrate his sexual potency by enjoying that smooth but invigorating Marlboro flavour, then who are we to stop him?

If a young woman would rather light up and for once in her life be popular with her peers, then surely it would be a crime to deny her that right. What if it turns that the hot guy she’s been trying to attract only goes out with smokers? Would we deny this young woman her chance at happiness?

Look, this isn’t about whether smoking is wrong or right. I’m not trying to say that these tobacco companies are heroes, upholders of our freedoms, fighters for what is good and just, striving valiantly to defeat those who would tell us what to do, how to live, and what we are allowed to think; champions of democracy and freedom; the only people standing in the way of a terrible totalitarian darkness that would last a thousand years.

No, that’s not what I’m saying. Actually, I forget now what I was trying to say.

Oh, yes, these tobacco lobbyists. I don’t see a problem. And the suggestion that we’re in the pocket of Big Tobacco is absurd. How many pockets do you think one political party can fit into? And don’t you think our paymasters at Oravida would have something to say if we jumped into bed with someone else?

Oravida… hey, that gives me an idea. Milk-flavoured cigarettes! Imagine if your pack-a-day habit could also supply all your calcium needs…

This is my best idea ever. Even better than my idea to turn New Zealand into a financial services hub, and that was a pretty good one.

8 comments on “ImperatorFish: A statement from John Key”

  1. Kiwiri 1

    Haha.

    Btw, a little amendment. Not “has won the National Party selection” but “has been gifted the National Party selection”.

    Or “has been sponsored to be given the safe seat”?

  2. Chrissy 2

    A 16,000 majority is quite a thing, and its residues might just be enough to get this boy over the line in Clutha Southland. But it wont be a ‘win’ if the good folk of Clutha Southland do what lots are talking about doing, and vote in significant numbers for the altogether more palatable Labour candidate and public health advocate Liz Craig. There’s plenty of party votes in there too for a Labour party who show themselves altogether more trustworthy on basic community good things… This boy symbolises so much that people are learning not to like about the Nats: let’s not anoint him just yet. Doesnt look from this like the people of Queenstown have. https://www.facebook.com/lizforcluthasouthland

  3. Martin 3

    exactly Imperator Fish!
    This is why John Key has said his government won’t reform the drug act in a meaningful way.

  4. Populuxe1 4

    Well no – fanciful at best. National has shown no sign in the last two terms of reversing progressive taxation on tobacco and is actively pursuing plain packaging, so I think we can safely assume that whatever perfidity they’re about at any given time, they’re not doing it in thrall to the tobacco companies.

    • Tracey 4.1

      are they actively pursuing plain packaging? i thought it was on hold until the outcome of the australian case on it… and then there is the suspicion the tpp would make it hard for a nation to deprive them of their branding.

      not definitive statements, trying to recall without searching.

      • Populuxe1 4.1.1

        Hmmm, fair enough, but that’s still several bridges away from the bare minimum of what tobacco companies would want. The progresive tax is proving an incredibly effective public health measure.

        • Tracey 4.1.1.1

          Maybe but tobacco companies, and govts know they are swimming against a certain tide. maintaining the status quo for them, I imagine, is considered a huge success.

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • TPPA people power protests
    It was great to see such a big turnout – at least 15,000 in Auckland by some estimates. That’s a lot of people not buying the National Government’s spin on the TPPA. I was at the Auckland protests along with… ...
    GreensBy Denise Roche MP
    1 day ago
  • Ten Ways We can Honour Te Tiriti
    1. Learn about our history and current issues – Te Tiriti education is powerful, inspiring and available! 2. Learn about where you live and who the manawhenua are and what their issues in rebuilding their culture are. 3. Support manawhenua… ...
    GreensBy Catherine Delahunty MP
    1 day ago
  • “Not one more acre”
    The Public Works Act has too often been used to confiscate Māori land, and Members of Parliament will soon get a chance to vote to stop this. The original Public Works Act was developed in the 1860’s to facilitate… ...
    GreensBy Catherine Delahunty MP
    2 days ago
  • Rules needed so we can swim in Canterbury rivers
    First published in The Press on 1 February 2016 A work colleague recently asked me which rivers and lakes I’d recommend she take her son and nephew swimming during an upcoming visit to Christchurch, somewhere handy to the city. I… ...
    GreensBy Eugenie Sage MP
    4 days ago
  • Rules needed so we can swim in Canterbury rivers
    First published in The Press on 1 February 2016 A work colleague recently asked me which rivers and lakes I’d recommend she take her son and nephew swimming during an upcoming visit to Christchurch, somewhere handy to the city. I… ...
    GreensBy Eugenie Sage MP
    4 days ago
  • Vulnerable women the victims of Govt inaction
    The Government’s failure to address the housing crisis and its refusal to steps to raise wages have led to vulnerable women being exploited, Labour’s spokesperson for Women Ruth Dyson says. “Reports today that women are being offered free rent in… ...
    6 days ago
  • Vulnerable women the victims of Govt inaction
    The Government’s failure to address the housing crisis and its refusal to steps to raise wages have led to vulnerable women being exploited, Labour’s spokesperson for Women Ruth Dyson says. “Reports today that women are being offered free rent in… ...
    6 days ago
  • Vulnerable women the victims of Govt inaction
    The Government’s failure to address the housing crisis and its refusal to steps to raise wages have led to vulnerable women being exploited, Labour’s spokesperson for Women Ruth Dyson says. “Reports today that women are being offered free rent in… ...
    1 week ago
  • Vulnerable women the victims of Govt inaction
    The Government’s failure to address the housing crisis and its refusal to steps to raise wages have led to vulnerable women being exploited, Labour’s spokesperson for Women Ruth Dyson says. “Reports today that women are being offered free rent in… ...
    1 week ago
  • Vulnerable women the victims of Govt inaction
    The Government’s failure to address the housing crisis and its refusal to steps to raise wages have led to vulnerable women being exploited, Labour’s spokesperson for Women Ruth Dyson says. “Reports today that women are being offered free rent in… ...
    1 week ago
  • Vulnerable women the victims of Govt inaction
    The Government’s failure to address the housing crisis and its refusal to steps to raise wages have led to vulnerable women being exploited, Labour’s spokesperson for Women Ruth Dyson says. “Reports today that women are being offered free rent in… ...
    1 week ago
  • Arms Control a priority for the Pacific
    Labour’s Pacific Island Affairs spokesperson Su’a William Sio and Chair of New Zealand’s Parliamentarians for Global Action says his priority will be getting the Pacific to sign up to the Arms Trade Treaty after being appointed by the PGA as… ...
    1 week ago
  • Arms Control a priority for the Pacific
    Labour’s Pacific Island Affairs spokesperson Su’a William Sio and Chair of New Zealand’s Parliamentarians for Global Action says his priority will be getting the Pacific to sign up to the Arms Trade Treaty after being appointed by the PGA as… ...
    1 week ago
  • Arms Control a priority for the Pacific
    Labour’s Pacific Island Affairs spokesperson Su’a William Sio and Chair of New Zealand’s Parliamentarians for Global Action says his priority will be getting the Pacific to sign up to the Arms Trade Treaty after being appointed by the PGA as… ...
    1 week ago
  • Arms Control a priority for the Pacific
    Labour’s Pacific Island Affairs spokesperson Su’a William Sio and Chair of New Zealand’s Parliamentarians for Global Action says his priority will be getting the Pacific to sign up to the Arms Trade Treaty after being appointed by the PGA as… ...
    1 week ago
  • Arms Control a priority for the Pacific
    Labour’s Pacific Island Affairs spokesperson Su’a William Sio and Chair of New Zealand’s Parliamentarians for Global Action says his priority will be getting the Pacific to sign up to the Arms Trade Treaty after being appointed by the PGA as… ...
    1 week ago
  • Arms Control a priority for the Pacific
    Labour’s Pacific Island Affairs spokesperson Su’a William Sio and Chair of New Zealand’s Parliamentarians for Global Action says his priority will be getting the Pacific to sign up to the Arms Trade Treaty after being appointed by the PGA as… ...
    1 week ago
  • National must listen to Maori TPPA concerns
    The National Government must listen to the widespread opposition to the Trans-Pacific Partnership Agreement (TPPA) if it is to retain credibility with Māori, says Labour’s Maori Development spokesperson Kelvin Davis. “The Iwi Leaders Forum met with Trade Minister Todd McClay… ...
    1 week ago
  • National must listen to Maori TPPA concerns
    The National Government must listen to the widespread opposition to the Trans-Pacific Partnership Agreement (TPPA) if it is to retain credibility with Māori, says Labour’s Maori Development spokesperson Kelvin Davis. “The Iwi Leaders Forum met with Trade Minister Todd McClay… ...
    1 week ago
  • National must listen to Maori TPPA concerns
    The National Government must listen to the widespread opposition to the Trans-Pacific Partnership Agreement (TPPA) if it is to retain credibility with Māori, says Labour’s Maori Development spokesperson Kelvin Davis. “The Iwi Leaders Forum met with Trade Minister Todd McClay… ...
    1 week ago
  • National must listen to Maori TPPA concerns
    The National Government must listen to the widespread opposition to the Trans-Pacific Partnership Agreement (TPPA) if it is to retain credibility with Māori, says Labour’s Maori Development spokesperson Kelvin Davis. “The Iwi Leaders Forum met with Trade Minister Todd McClay… ...
    1 week ago
  • National must listen to Maori TPPA concerns
    The National Government must listen to the widespread opposition to the Trans-Pacific Partnership Agreement (TPPA) if it is to retain credibility with Māori, says Labour’s Maori Development spokesperson Kelvin Davis. “The Iwi Leaders Forum met with Trade Minister Todd McClay… ...
    1 week ago
  • National must listen to Maori TPPA concerns
    The National Government must listen to the widespread opposition to the Trans-Pacific Partnership Agreement (TPPA) if it is to retain credibility with Māori, says Labour’s Maori Development spokesperson Kelvin Davis. “The Iwi Leaders Forum met with Trade Minister Todd McClay… ...
    1 week ago
  • Bob Tizard’s passing an end of an era
    Labour Leader Andrew Little has expressed his deepest condolences to the family of former Labour MP and Deputy Prime Minister Bob Tizard who died this afternoon. Robert “Bob” Tizard was a Labour MP for 30 years, representing the seats of… ...
    1 week ago
  • Bob Tizard’s passing an end of an era
    Labour Leader Andrew Little has expressed his deepest condolences to the family of former Labour MP and Deputy Prime Minister Bob Tizard who died this afternoon. Robert “Bob” Tizard was a Labour MP for 30 years, representing the seats of… ...
    1 week ago
  • Bob Tizard’s passing an end of an era
    Labour Leader Andrew Little has expressed his deepest condolences to the family of former Labour MP and Deputy Prime Minister Bob Tizard who died this afternoon. Robert “Bob” Tizard was a Labour MP for 30 years, representing the seats of… ...
    1 week ago
  • Bob Tizard’s passing an end of an era
    Labour Leader Andrew Little has expressed his deepest condolences to the family of former Labour MP and Deputy Prime Minister Bob Tizard who died this afternoon. Robert “Bob” Tizard was a Labour MP for 30 years, representing the seats of… ...
    1 week ago
  • Bob Tizard’s passing an end of an era
    Labour Leader Andrew Little has expressed his deepest condolences to the family of former Labour MP and Deputy Prime Minister Bob Tizard who died this afternoon. Robert “Bob” Tizard was a Labour MP for 30 years, representing the seats of… ...
    1 week ago
  • Differing view on TPPA agreed
    Opposition Leader Andrew Little has given dispensation to MP Phil Goff to take his own position on the Trans Pacific Partnership Agreement due to his historic involvement in negotiating its predecessor, the P4. “Phil has had a longstanding involvement and… ...
    1 week ago
  • Differing view on TPPA agreed
    Opposition Leader Andrew Little has given dispensation to MP Phil Goff to take his own position on the Trans Pacific Partnership Agreement due to his historic involvement in negotiating its predecessor, the P4. “Phil has had a longstanding involvement and… ...
    1 week ago
  • Differing view on TPPA agreed
    Opposition Leader Andrew Little has given dispensation to MP Phil Goff to take his own position on the Trans Pacific Partnership Agreement due to his historic involvement in negotiating its predecessor, the P4. “Phil has had a longstanding involvement and… ...
    1 week ago
  • Differing view on TPPA agreed
    Opposition Leader Andrew Little has given dispensation to MP Phil Goff to take his own position on the Trans Pacific Partnership Agreement due to his historic involvement in negotiating its predecessor, the P4. “Phil has had a longstanding involvement and… ...
    1 week ago
  • Differing view on TPPA agreed
    Opposition Leader Andrew Little has given dispensation to MP Phil Goff to take his own position on the Trans Pacific Partnership Agreement due to his historic involvement in negotiating its predecessor, the P4. “Phil has had a longstanding involvement and… ...
    1 week ago
  • Differing view on TPPA agreed
    Opposition Leader Andrew Little has given dispensation to MP Phil Goff to take his own position on the Trans Pacific Partnership Agreement due to his historic involvement in negotiating its predecessor, the P4. “Phil has had a longstanding involvement and… ...
    1 week ago
  • Scandalous Saudi sheep saga rolls on
    It is scurrilous that the Government is pushing ahead with plans to spend many millions of taxpayer money on an abattoir in Saudi Arabia without knowing who’ll end up owning it, Labour MP David Parker says. “More than $12 million… ...
    1 week ago
  • Scandalous Saudi sheep saga rolls on
    It is scurrilous that the Government is pushing ahead with plans to spend many millions of taxpayer money on an abattoir in Saudi Arabia without knowing who’ll end up owning it, Labour MP David Parker says. “More than $12 million… ...
    1 week ago
  • Scandalous Saudi sheep saga rolls on
    It is scurrilous that the Government is pushing ahead with plans to spend many millions of taxpayer money on an abattoir in Saudi Arabia without knowing who’ll end up owning it, Labour MP David Parker says. “More than $12 million… ...
    1 week ago
  • Scandalous Saudi sheep saga rolls on
    It is scurrilous that the Government is pushing ahead with plans to spend many millions of taxpayer money on an abattoir in Saudi Arabia without knowing who’ll end up owning it, Labour MP David Parker says. “More than $12 million… ...
    1 week ago
  • Scandalous Saudi sheep saga rolls on
    It is scurrilous that the Government is pushing ahead with plans to spend many millions of taxpayer money on an abattoir in Saudi Arabia without knowing who’ll end up owning it, Labour MP David Parker says. “More than $12 million… ...
    1 week ago
  • Scandalous Saudi sheep saga rolls on
    It is scurrilous that the Government is pushing ahead with plans to spend many millions of taxpayer money on an abattoir in Saudi Arabia without knowing who’ll end up owning it, Labour MP David Parker says. “More than $12 million… ...
    1 week ago
  • Joyce destroys Government rail link certainty
    Infrastructure Minister Steven Joyce has destroyed the certainty the Prime Minister gave private sector investors in his State of the Nation announcement on the City Rail Link, Labour’s Auckland Issues spokesperson Phil Twyford says.   “Steven Joyce has again poured… ...
    1 week ago
  • Joyce destroys Government rail link certainty
    Infrastructure Minister Steven Joyce has destroyed the certainty the Prime Minister gave private sector investors in his State of the Nation announcement on the City Rail Link, Labour’s Auckland Issues spokesperson Phil Twyford says.   “Steven Joyce has again poured… ...
    1 week ago
  • Joyce destroys Government rail link certainty
    Infrastructure Minister Steven Joyce has destroyed the certainty the Prime Minister gave private sector investors in his State of the Nation announcement on the City Rail Link, Labour’s Auckland Issues spokesperson Phil Twyford says.   “Steven Joyce has again poured… ...
    1 week ago
  • Joyce destroys Government rail link certainty
    Infrastructure Minister Steven Joyce has destroyed the certainty the Prime Minister gave private sector investors in his State of the Nation announcement on the City Rail Link, Labour’s Auckland Issues spokesperson Phil Twyford says.   “Steven Joyce has again poured… ...
    1 week ago
  • Joyce destroys Government rail link certainty
    Infrastructure Minister Steven Joyce has destroyed the certainty the Prime Minister gave private sector investors in his State of the Nation announcement on the City Rail Link, Labour’s Auckland Issues spokesperson Phil Twyford says.   “Steven Joyce has again poured… ...
    1 week ago
  • Joyce destroys Government rail link certainty
    Infrastructure Minister Steven Joyce has destroyed the certainty the Prime Minister gave private sector investors in his State of the Nation announcement on the City Rail Link, Labour’s Auckland Issues spokesperson Phil Twyford says.   “Steven Joyce has again poured… ...
    1 week ago
  • Pasifika caucus visit as Kiribati water crisis deepens
    Water supplies are deteriorating in Kiribati as Labour’s  Pasifika climate change task force prepares to head there and Tuvalu, says Labour’s Pacific Climate Change Spokesperson Su’a William Sio.  “There is a growing crisis on the atolls due to water supplies… ...
    1 week ago
  • Pasifika caucus visit as Kiribati water crisis deepens
    Water supplies are deteriorating in Kiribati as Labour’s  Pasifika climate change task force prepares to head there and Tuvalu, says Labour’s Pacific Climate Change Spokesperson Su’a William Sio.  “There is a growing crisis on the atolls due to water supplies… ...
    1 week ago
  • Pasifika caucus visit as Kiribati water crisis deepens
    Water supplies are deteriorating in Kiribati as Labour’s  Pasifika climate change task force prepares to head there and Tuvalu, says Labour’s Pacific Climate Change Spokesperson Su’a William Sio.  “There is a growing crisis on the atolls due to water supplies… ...
    1 week ago
  • Pasifika caucus visit as Kiribati water crisis deepens
    Water supplies are deteriorating in Kiribati as Labour’s  Pasifika climate change task force prepares to head there and Tuvalu, says Labour’s Pacific Climate Change Spokesperson Su’a William Sio.  “There is a growing crisis on the atolls due to water supplies… ...
    1 week ago

  • Maori are amongst the biggest beneficiaries of TPP
    In the lead up to Waitangi celebrations and the signing of the Trans Pacific Partnership in New Zealand this week, much is being made of Maori opposition to the TPP due to a lack of consultation and a perceived loss… ...
    1 day ago
  • Maori are amongst the biggest beneficiaries of TPP
    In the lead up to Waitangi celebrations and the signing of the Trans Pacific Partnership in New Zealand this week, much is being made of Maori opposition to the TPP due to a lack of consultation and a perceived loss… ...
    1 day ago
  • More than 27,000 new Kiwis in 2015
    This Waitangi Day, New Zealand will roll out the welcome mat to 24 new citizens at Government House, and acknowledge over 27,000 people who were granted citizenship last year. ...
    1 day ago
  • Demolition of 32 & 36 Glendevere Terrace
    Demolition of 32 & 36 Glendevere Terrace Land Information New Zealand (LINZ) and Southern Response today announced that the demolitions of 32 and 36 Glendevere Terrace, Redcliffs, Christchurch will begin next week. ...
    1 day ago
  • Next step in 2GP process
    Dunedin (Friday, 5 February 2016) – The next step in the process of establishing a new Dunedin City District Plan will be underway when further submissions are called for from 10 February. ...
    1 day ago
  • Next step in 2GP process
    Dunedin (Friday, 5 February 2016) – The next step in the process of establishing a new Dunedin City District Plan will be underway when further submissions are called for from 10 February. ...
    1 day ago
  • Report into diplomat debacle shows Ministers’ failures
    The report into the treatment of a diplomat found guilty of indecent assault highlights a failure of Government Ministers to show political leadership over sexual violence, the Green Party said today. ...
    1 day ago
  • Report into diplomat debacle shows Ministers’ failures
    The report into the treatment of a diplomat found guilty of indecent assault highlights a failure of Government Ministers to show political leadership over sexual violence, the Green Party said today. ...
    1 day ago
  • TPP Good News for New Zealand
    TPP Good News for New Zealand by Dr Llew Richards, chief executive of IANZ We all like to travel. We all buy stuff from overseas. But sometimes we pay up to twice the price for something in New Zealand that… ...
    1 day ago
  • TPP Good News for New Zealand
    TPP Good News for New Zealand by Dr Llew Richards, chief executive of IANZ We all like to travel. We all buy stuff from overseas. But sometimes we pay up to twice the price for something in New Zealand that… ...
    1 day ago
  • Council seeks submissions on bylaw amendment
    Palmerston North City Council is calling for submissions on a proposed amendment to the Signs and Use of Public Places Bylaw for Election Signs. ...
    1 day ago
  • Credit Ratings Agency Blackmails Christchurch City Council
    Credit Ratings Agency Blackmails Christchurch City Council on Asset Sales This story slipped by without comment from anyone in the Christmas rush. Better late than never. On December 8th the Press reported that: “Ratings agency Standard & Poor’s ...
    1 day ago
  • Ministry welcomes release of Whitehead Report
    The Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Trade has welcomed the public release of the Whitehead report. ...
    1 day ago
  • TPP Agreement bad for democracy
    International Trade Union Confederation TPP Agreement bad for democracy, rights, public services and health Brussels, 4 February 2016 (ITUC OnLine): The ITUC has called the Trans-Pacific Partnership Agreement (TPP) a major setback for employment ...
    1 day ago
  • TPP Agreement bad for democracy
    International Trade Union Confederation TPP Agreement bad for democracy, rights, public services and health Brussels, 4 February 2016 (ITUC OnLine): The ITUC has called the Trans-Pacific Partnership Agreement (TPP) a major setback for employment ...
    1 day ago
  • Peru signed the Trans-Pacific Partnership in NZ
    Thursday 4 February 2016 Press Release Peru's Foreign Trade and Tourism Minister Magali Silva has signed the Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP) agreement in New Zealand's city of Auckland today along with her counterparts from 11 Pacific countries. The ...
    1 day ago
  • Peru signed the Trans-Pacific Partnership in NZ
    Thursday 4 February 2016 Press Release Peru's Foreign Trade and Tourism Minister Magali Silva has signed the Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP) agreement in New Zealand's city of Auckland today along with her counterparts from 11 Pacific countries. The ...
    1 day ago
  • Protesters project giant message onto SkyCity
    Community organisations representing more than five and a half million people around the world have united to take joint action and express global opposition to the Trans-Pacific Partnership, as Trade Ministers sign the deal at SkyCity in Auckland. ...
    1 day ago
  • Protesters project giant message onto SkyCity
    Community organisations representing more than five and a half million people around the world have united to take joint action and express global opposition to the Trans-Pacific Partnership, as Trade Ministers sign the deal at SkyCity in Auckland. ...
    1 day ago
  • Reserve Bank highlights importance of market discipline
    Reserve Bank highlights importance of market discipline The Reserve Bank today highlighted the importance of market discipline as one of three pillars that help maintain the stability of financial institutions. In a speech this evening hosted by the NZ Bankers… ...
    1 day ago
  • Infrastructure to underpin development of the Northland regi
    “The release today of the Tai Tokerau Northland Economic Action Plan is strongly endorsed by the New Zealand Council for Infrastructure Development (NZCID) and will drive much needed employment, investment and growth in the region,” says NZCID ...
    2 days ago
  • Infrastructure to underpin development of the Northland regi
    “The release today of the Tai Tokerau Northland Economic Action Plan is strongly endorsed by the New Zealand Council for Infrastructure Development (NZCID) and will drive much needed employment, investment and growth in the region,” says NZCID ...
    2 days ago
  • Kiwis reject the TPPA
    Around 15,000 Kiwis marched down Queen Street today to protest against the signing of the TPPA. The march was loud, diverse, family-friendly, peaceful and passionate in its opposition to the TPPA. ...
    2 days ago
  • Kiwis reject the TPPA
    Around 15,000 Kiwis marched down Queen Street today to protest against the signing of the TPPA. The march was loud, diverse, family-friendly, peaceful and passionate in its opposition to the TPPA. ...
    2 days ago
  • NZ-US Council welcomes the signature of the TPP
    NZ-US Council welcomes the signature of the TPP The Executive Director of the NZ-US Council, Fiona Cooper Clarke, has welcomed the signature of the Trans Pacific Partnership (TPP) agreement in Auckland today. “We are delighted that the TPP has been… ...
    2 days ago
  • NZ-US Council welcomes the signature of the TPP
    NZ-US Council welcomes the signature of the TPP The Executive Director of the NZ-US Council, Fiona Cooper Clarke, has welcomed the signature of the Trans Pacific Partnership (TPP) agreement in Auckland today. “We are delighted that the TPP has been… ...
    2 days ago
  • Let Quake Outcasts Move on Says Human Rights Commissioner
    Let Quake Outcasts Move on Says Chief Human Rights Commissioner The Chief Human Rights Commissioner David Rutherford is calling on the Government yet again to settle the Quake Outcasts case following yesterday’s announcement that the Outcasts have ...
    2 days ago
  • Kiwifruit winner in TPP Agreement
    The Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP) Agreement will generate significant value for the New Zealand kiwifruit industry and Zespri welcomes the signing of the Agreement today in Auckland. Zespri Chief Executive Lain Jager explains the TPP will eliminate ...
    2 days ago
  • Kiwifruit winner in TPP Agreement
    The Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP) Agreement will generate significant value for the New Zealand kiwifruit industry and Zespri welcomes the signing of the Agreement today in Auckland. Zespri Chief Executive Lain Jager explains the TPP will eliminate ...
    2 days ago
  • Waihi Dam Update
    Waihi Dam Update Hawke’s Bay Regional Council is hopeful the discharge of sediment from the Waihi Dam into the Waiau River will cease by the end of next week. HBRC staff met with Eastland Group staff and contractors yesterday to… ...
    2 days ago
  • Waihi Dam Update
    Waihi Dam Update Hawke’s Bay Regional Council is hopeful the discharge of sediment from the Waihi Dam into the Waiau River will cease by the end of next week. HBRC staff met with Eastland Group staff and contractors yesterday to… ...
    2 days ago
  • Campaigners vow “final battle” to prevent massive deal
    As TPP is signed in Auckland casino, campaigners vow “final battle” to prevent massive deal being ratified ...
    2 days ago
  • Paddling Cape to Cape for a Cause
    A mission that will see him spend three week on stand up paddle board, paddling from the South Cape to the top of the East Cape of the North Island. ...
    2 days ago
  • Trust applauds $4m government funding for art centre
    Today's announcement of central government support, made by Minister of Economic Development Steven Joyce, provides a key step forward in funding for Whangarei’s Hundertwasser Art Centre & Wairau Maori Art Gallery. ...
    2 days ago
  • Horticulture Welcomes TPP Signing
    New Zealand’s peak body for commercial fruit and vegetable growers, Horticulture New Zealand, has welcomed the official New Zealand signing of the Trans Pacific Partnership agreement today. Horticulture is New Zealand’s fourth largest export earner, sending ...
    2 days ago
  • Attitude change to sexual violence needed, council says
    The National Council of Women of New Zealand says the commentary around Malaysian diplomat Muhammad Rizalman bin Ismail's assault on Tania Billingsley should be a wakeup call for New Zealanders to change their attitudes to violence. ...
    2 days ago
  • Hundertwasser Art Centre receives Government boost
    Prosper Northland has welcomed today’s announcement of a $4 million contribution by Central Government to the Hundertwasser Art Centre (HAC) project in Whangarei. ...
    2 days ago
  • National Policy Statement a powerful tool under the RMA
    Property Council believes there is an urgent and pressing need for a National Policy Statement (NPS) on urban development under the Resource Management Act (RMA). ...
    2 days ago
  • National Policy Statement a powerful tool under the RMA
    Property Council believes there is an urgent and pressing need for a National Policy Statement (NPS) on urban development under the Resource Management Act (RMA). ...
    2 days ago
  • TPPA – The People Prefer Accountability
    The Conservative Party are by no means opposed to trade agreements with other countries, but the secrecy surrounding the negotiations and the lack of disclosure of real detail with regard to the TPPA, accompanied by the fobbing off of serious… ...
    2 days ago
  • TPPA – The People Prefer Accountability
    The Conservative Party are by no means opposed to trade agreements with other countries, but the secrecy surrounding the negotiations and the lack of disclosure of real detail with regard to the TPPA, accompanied by the fobbing off of serious… ...
    2 days ago
  • TPP casino signing gambles with our future
    OTTAWA – Trade ministers from 12 nations have chosen a casino and convention centre for the signing of the Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP), leading to criticism from fair trade advocates like the Council of Canadians that governments are gambling ...
    2 days ago
  • TPP casino signing gambles with our future
    OTTAWA – Trade ministers from 12 nations have chosen a casino and convention centre for the signing of the Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP), leading to criticism from fair trade advocates like the Council of Canadians that governments are gambling ...
    2 days ago
  • TPPA Still Needs an Independent Health Impact Assessment
    TPPA Still Needs an Independent Health Impact Assessment The New Zealand Medical Students’ Association (NZMSA) urges the Government to facilitate an independent Health Impact Assessment (HIA) on the recently agreed Trans-Pacific Partnership Agreement ...
    2 days ago
  • TPPA Still Needs an Independent Health Impact Assessment
    TPPA Still Needs an Independent Health Impact Assessment The New Zealand Medical Students’ Association (NZMSA) urges the Government to facilitate an independent Health Impact Assessment (HIA) on the recently agreed Trans-Pacific Partnership Agreement ...
    2 days ago
  • Neo-Kalashnikovs join TPPA protest
    Auckland indie band The Neo-Kalashnikovs are issuing a challenge to all others bands to stand up in protest against the TPPA. They performed at the Protestival on 31st January and will be on the protest march down Queen St. ...
    2 days ago
  • Neo-Kalashnikovs join TPPA protest
    Auckland indie band The Neo-Kalashnikovs are issuing a challenge to all others bands to stand up in protest against the TPPA. They performed at the Protestival on 31st January and will be on the protest march down Queen St. ...
    2 days ago
  • Federated Farmers welcomes TPP signing
    Federated Farmers welcomes today's signing in Auckland of the Trans Pacific Partnership (TPP) agreement as a significant milestone for the New Zealand economy and a positive deal for the agriculture sector. ...
    2 days ago
  • Federated Farmers welcomes TPP signing
    Federated Farmers welcomes today's signing in Auckland of the Trans Pacific Partnership (TPP) agreement as a significant milestone for the New Zealand economy and a positive deal for the agriculture sector. ...
    2 days ago
  • Rail and maritime workers’ condemn TPPA signing
    The Trans-Pacific Partnership Agreement (TPPA) puts the rights and wellbeing of working people at risk, says Rail and Maritime Transport Union (RMTU) General Secretary Wayne Butson. ...
    2 days ago

Public service advertisements by The Standard

Current CO2 level in the atmosphere