web analytics
The Standard

ImperatorFish: Blame Labour

Written By: - Date published: 12:30 pm, September 25th, 2012 - 11 comments
Categories: john key, labour, national - Tags:

Scott at Imperator Fish has kindly given us permission to syndicate posts from his blog – the original of this post is here.

The week has started badly for John Key. Yesterday we learned that National are down in the latest political poll, and today we hear that our intelligence folk may have been allegedly acting unlawfully. The last bit of news is a bit of a problem for John Key, since he’s the guy in charge of that particular area of government. It’s going to be difficult for him to say “oh I didn’t bother to read the report.”

Today Solid Energy also announced the loss of hundreds of jobs. Solid Energy is an SOE. So that’s our own government throwing people onto the scrapheap. Many of these people will head over to Australia, increasing the number of New Zealanders seeking their brighter futures elsewhere.

But now is not the time to panic. National has a plan to deal with the crisis. Tomorrow will probably see another welfare crackdown, although with the number of groups left to target rapidly diminishing, could it be the turn of one-legged Dutchmen to feel Paula’s wrath? Insomniac redheads maybe?

But if that plan doesn’t work, National has another up its sleeve: blame Labour.

Go on, sing along.

Blame Labour

My gal gone left me and my dog done died
Blame Labour.
My house burned down and I just got fired
Blame Labour.
My kids’ got no food and they’re hungry at school
I can’t pay the rent and the power bill’s due
Blame Labour.

There’s trouble in Afghanistan and problems in Iraq
Blame Labour.
My national cricket team totally suck
Blame Labour.
The neighbours with their parties are driving me mad
I can’t get no girls and my ass is getting fat
Blame Labour.

No matter who, no matter what, what no matter where-er
It’s all because of David  F**king Shearer
Blame Labour

My car’s engine performance is less that I might like
Blame Labour
My legs are sore after I went riding on my bike
Blame Labour.
The Gallipoli campaign did not go as planned
I didn’t realise Dame Edna was a man
Blame Labour.

No matter who, no matter what, what no matter where-er
It’s all because of David  F**king Shearer
Blame Labour.

The second Star Wars trilogy was a pile of shite
Blame Labour.
There’s just not enough marmite
Blame Labour.
My Google Maps don’t work no more
Athens lost the Peloponnesian War
Blame Labour.

No matter who, no matter what, what no matter where-er
It’s all because of David  F**king Shearer
Blame Labour.

11 comments on “ImperatorFish: Blame Labour”

  1. ianmac 1

    I suppose it is Labour’s fault really, because if Labour wasn’t there there would be no need to blame Labour. Or so it is on Key’s Planet.

  2. blue leopard 2

    Or how about?

    My mouth is always lyin’ and it wouldn’t be a bad thing but Opposition just won’t let up and that’s no lie
    We spent many nights devising all our failed distractions From our deceptions becoming so blatant we kissed our popularity goodbye.

    No matter!

    “Don’t blame it on our useless policies
    Don’t blame it on our endless lying
    Don’t blame it on our disingenuity
    Blame it on Labour

    Thanks MJ

  3. Populuxe1 3

    Today Solid Energy also announced the loss of hundreds of jobs. Solid Energy is an SOE. So that’s our own government throwing people onto the scrapheap. Many of these people will head over to Australia, increasing the number of New Zealanders seeking their brighter futures elsewhere.

    Given that coal is bad and mining is bad, shouldn’t we be scaling back anyway? I don’t recall similar concern for the fishery jobs that would be lost if the Maui’s Dolphin resolution had gone ahead.

    • Colonial Viper 3.1

      Were there really 300-400 fishing jobs to be lost there? I think you are greatly exaggerating.

      • Populuxe1 3.1.1

        At a guess, quite likely – you would lose fisheries along the west coast of the North Island and most of the South Island except for Fiordland, and then there are all the support jobs, processing and so forth, and the flow on impact to the coastal communities. 

        • mike e 3.1.1.1

          Pop the Maui’s dolphin is only found of the coast of Taranaki and the raglan coastal district maybe 20 or 30 jobs lost in total !
          Maybe 20 to 30 jobs found in eco tourism!

          • Populuxe1 3.1.1.1.1

            The whole range of Hector’s Dolphin has to be taken into account – we know so little about Maui’s Dolphins that we can’t be sure there aren’t populations elsewhere.
            In any case there is a ban on trawling and set nets from Maunganui Bluff to Hawera out to two nautical miles from shore, just not in the harbours. it’s not like nothing has been done.
             

    • Draco T Bastard 3.2

      We should, as a matter of fact, be scaling back. If we don’t use it in NZ then we shouldn’t be digging it up or fishing it. That, though, would require NZ to actually develop more businesses than just farms and no government going back to 1984 seems to have wanted to do that.

  4. Dr Terry 4

    ImperatorFish, “This week has started badly for John Key”. Tell me which week has NOT started badly for him since the election? I am tired of hearing it, and noting that his bad behaviour loses him precious little popularity! I hardly think Key is bothered a bit by Shearer. No, sorry, but I cannot sing along with Key/National. I would much prefer to see him confined to “Sing Sing”.

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • The Grinch that stole the Waitangi Day public holiday
    It’s been a busy summer for AFFCO Talley’s as they toil away tirelessly in their attempts to bust the union at their Rangiuru site in Wairoa. Not content with locking out some of their employees who belong to the Meat… ...
    GreensBy Denise Roche MP
    1 day ago
  • Waitangi 2016
    I have been to Waitangi every Waitangi Day except one since 2000. As usual, the good news and positive political events were ignored by many media. The Greens, for example, had a very good reception at Te Tii Marae. We… ...
    GreensBy Catherine Delahunty MP
    3 days ago
  • Waitangi 2016
    I have been to Waitangi every Waitangi Day except one since 2000. As usual, the good news and positive political events were ignored by many media. The Greens, for example, had a very good reception at Te Tii Marae. We… ...
    GreensBy Catherine Delahunty MP
    3 days ago
  • TPPA people power protests
    It was great to see such a big turnout – at least 15,000 in Auckland by some estimates. That’s a lot of people not buying the National Government’s spin on the TPPA. I was at the Auckland protests along with… ...
    GreensBy Denise Roche MP
    7 days ago
  • Ten Ways We can Honour Te Tiriti
    1. Learn about our history and current issues – Te Tiriti education is powerful, inspiring and available! 2. Learn about where you live and who the manawhenua are and what their issues in rebuilding their culture are. 3. Support manawhenua… ...
    GreensBy Catherine Delahunty MP
    1 week ago
  • “Not one more acre”
    The Public Works Act has too often been used to confiscate Māori land, and Members of Parliament will soon get a chance to vote to stop this. The original Public Works Act was developed in the 1860’s to facilitate… ...
    GreensBy Catherine Delahunty MP
    1 week ago
  • Rules needed so we can swim in Canterbury rivers
    First published in The Press on 1 February 2016 A work colleague recently asked me which rivers and lakes I’d recommend she take her son and nephew swimming during an upcoming visit to Christchurch, somewhere handy to the city. I… ...
    GreensBy Eugenie Sage MP
    1 week ago
  • Rules needed so we can swim in Canterbury rivers
    First published in The Press on 1 February 2016 A work colleague recently asked me which rivers and lakes I’d recommend she take her son and nephew swimming during an upcoming visit to Christchurch, somewhere handy to the city. I… ...
    GreensBy Eugenie Sage MP
    1 week ago
  • Vulnerable women the victims of Govt inaction
    The Government’s failure to address the housing crisis and its refusal to steps to raise wages have led to vulnerable women being exploited, Labour’s spokesperson for Women Ruth Dyson says. “Reports today that women are being offered free rent in… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Vulnerable women the victims of Govt inaction
    The Government’s failure to address the housing crisis and its refusal to steps to raise wages have led to vulnerable women being exploited, Labour’s spokesperson for Women Ruth Dyson says. “Reports today that women are being offered free rent in… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Vulnerable women the victims of Govt inaction
    The Government’s failure to address the housing crisis and its refusal to steps to raise wages have led to vulnerable women being exploited, Labour’s spokesperson for Women Ruth Dyson says. “Reports today that women are being offered free rent in… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Vulnerable women the victims of Govt inaction
    The Government’s failure to address the housing crisis and its refusal to steps to raise wages have led to vulnerable women being exploited, Labour’s spokesperson for Women Ruth Dyson says. “Reports today that women are being offered free rent in… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Vulnerable women the victims of Govt inaction
    The Government’s failure to address the housing crisis and its refusal to steps to raise wages have led to vulnerable women being exploited, Labour’s spokesperson for Women Ruth Dyson says. “Reports today that women are being offered free rent in… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Vulnerable women the victims of Govt inaction
    The Government’s failure to address the housing crisis and its refusal to steps to raise wages have led to vulnerable women being exploited, Labour’s spokesperson for Women Ruth Dyson says. “Reports today that women are being offered free rent in… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Arms Control a priority for the Pacific
    Labour’s Pacific Island Affairs spokesperson Su’a William Sio and Chair of New Zealand’s Parliamentarians for Global Action says his priority will be getting the Pacific to sign up to the Arms Trade Treaty after being appointed by the PGA as… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Arms Control a priority for the Pacific
    Labour’s Pacific Island Affairs spokesperson Su’a William Sio and Chair of New Zealand’s Parliamentarians for Global Action says his priority will be getting the Pacific to sign up to the Arms Trade Treaty after being appointed by the PGA as… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Arms Control a priority for the Pacific
    Labour’s Pacific Island Affairs spokesperson Su’a William Sio and Chair of New Zealand’s Parliamentarians for Global Action says his priority will be getting the Pacific to sign up to the Arms Trade Treaty after being appointed by the PGA as… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Arms Control a priority for the Pacific
    Labour’s Pacific Island Affairs spokesperson Su’a William Sio and Chair of New Zealand’s Parliamentarians for Global Action says his priority will be getting the Pacific to sign up to the Arms Trade Treaty after being appointed by the PGA as… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Arms Control a priority for the Pacific
    Labour’s Pacific Island Affairs spokesperson Su’a William Sio and Chair of New Zealand’s Parliamentarians for Global Action says his priority will be getting the Pacific to sign up to the Arms Trade Treaty after being appointed by the PGA as… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Arms Control a priority for the Pacific
    Labour’s Pacific Island Affairs spokesperson Su’a William Sio and Chair of New Zealand’s Parliamentarians for Global Action says his priority will be getting the Pacific to sign up to the Arms Trade Treaty after being appointed by the PGA as… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • National must listen to Maori TPPA concerns
    The National Government must listen to the widespread opposition to the Trans-Pacific Partnership Agreement (TPPA) if it is to retain credibility with Māori, says Labour’s Maori Development spokesperson Kelvin Davis. “The Iwi Leaders Forum met with Trade Minister Todd McClay… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • National must listen to Maori TPPA concerns
    The National Government must listen to the widespread opposition to the Trans-Pacific Partnership Agreement (TPPA) if it is to retain credibility with Māori, says Labour’s Maori Development spokesperson Kelvin Davis. “The Iwi Leaders Forum met with Trade Minister Todd McClay… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • National must listen to Maori TPPA concerns
    The National Government must listen to the widespread opposition to the Trans-Pacific Partnership Agreement (TPPA) if it is to retain credibility with Māori, says Labour’s Maori Development spokesperson Kelvin Davis. “The Iwi Leaders Forum met with Trade Minister Todd McClay… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • National must listen to Maori TPPA concerns
    The National Government must listen to the widespread opposition to the Trans-Pacific Partnership Agreement (TPPA) if it is to retain credibility with Māori, says Labour’s Maori Development spokesperson Kelvin Davis. “The Iwi Leaders Forum met with Trade Minister Todd McClay… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • National must listen to Maori TPPA concerns
    The National Government must listen to the widespread opposition to the Trans-Pacific Partnership Agreement (TPPA) if it is to retain credibility with Māori, says Labour’s Maori Development spokesperson Kelvin Davis. “The Iwi Leaders Forum met with Trade Minister Todd McClay… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • National must listen to Maori TPPA concerns
    The National Government must listen to the widespread opposition to the Trans-Pacific Partnership Agreement (TPPA) if it is to retain credibility with Māori, says Labour’s Maori Development spokesperson Kelvin Davis. “The Iwi Leaders Forum met with Trade Minister Todd McClay… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Bob Tizard’s passing an end of an era
    Labour Leader Andrew Little has expressed his deepest condolences to the family of former Labour MP and Deputy Prime Minister Bob Tizard who died this afternoon. Robert “Bob” Tizard was a Labour MP for 30 years, representing the seats of… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Bob Tizard’s passing an end of an era
    Labour Leader Andrew Little has expressed his deepest condolences to the family of former Labour MP and Deputy Prime Minister Bob Tizard who died this afternoon. Robert “Bob” Tizard was a Labour MP for 30 years, representing the seats of… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Bob Tizard’s passing an end of an era
    Labour Leader Andrew Little has expressed his deepest condolences to the family of former Labour MP and Deputy Prime Minister Bob Tizard who died this afternoon. Robert “Bob” Tizard was a Labour MP for 30 years, representing the seats of… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Bob Tizard’s passing an end of an era
    Labour Leader Andrew Little has expressed his deepest condolences to the family of former Labour MP and Deputy Prime Minister Bob Tizard who died this afternoon. Robert “Bob” Tizard was a Labour MP for 30 years, representing the seats of… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Bob Tizard’s passing an end of an era
    Labour Leader Andrew Little has expressed his deepest condolences to the family of former Labour MP and Deputy Prime Minister Bob Tizard who died this afternoon. Robert “Bob” Tizard was a Labour MP for 30 years, representing the seats of… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Differing view on TPPA agreed
    Opposition Leader Andrew Little has given dispensation to MP Phil Goff to take his own position on the Trans Pacific Partnership Agreement due to his historic involvement in negotiating its predecessor, the P4. “Phil has had a longstanding involvement and… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Differing view on TPPA agreed
    Opposition Leader Andrew Little has given dispensation to MP Phil Goff to take his own position on the Trans Pacific Partnership Agreement due to his historic involvement in negotiating its predecessor, the P4. “Phil has had a longstanding involvement and… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Differing view on TPPA agreed
    Opposition Leader Andrew Little has given dispensation to MP Phil Goff to take his own position on the Trans Pacific Partnership Agreement due to his historic involvement in negotiating its predecessor, the P4. “Phil has had a longstanding involvement and… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Differing view on TPPA agreed
    Opposition Leader Andrew Little has given dispensation to MP Phil Goff to take his own position on the Trans Pacific Partnership Agreement due to his historic involvement in negotiating its predecessor, the P4. “Phil has had a longstanding involvement and… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Differing view on TPPA agreed
    Opposition Leader Andrew Little has given dispensation to MP Phil Goff to take his own position on the Trans Pacific Partnership Agreement due to his historic involvement in negotiating its predecessor, the P4. “Phil has had a longstanding involvement and… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Differing view on TPPA agreed
    Opposition Leader Andrew Little has given dispensation to MP Phil Goff to take his own position on the Trans Pacific Partnership Agreement due to his historic involvement in negotiating its predecessor, the P4. “Phil has had a longstanding involvement and… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Scandalous Saudi sheep saga rolls on
    It is scurrilous that the Government is pushing ahead with plans to spend many millions of taxpayer money on an abattoir in Saudi Arabia without knowing who’ll end up owning it, Labour MP David Parker says. “More than $12 million… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Scandalous Saudi sheep saga rolls on
    It is scurrilous that the Government is pushing ahead with plans to spend many millions of taxpayer money on an abattoir in Saudi Arabia without knowing who’ll end up owning it, Labour MP David Parker says. “More than $12 million… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Scandalous Saudi sheep saga rolls on
    It is scurrilous that the Government is pushing ahead with plans to spend many millions of taxpayer money on an abattoir in Saudi Arabia without knowing who’ll end up owning it, Labour MP David Parker says. “More than $12 million… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Scandalous Saudi sheep saga rolls on
    It is scurrilous that the Government is pushing ahead with plans to spend many millions of taxpayer money on an abattoir in Saudi Arabia without knowing who’ll end up owning it, Labour MP David Parker says. “More than $12 million… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Scandalous Saudi sheep saga rolls on
    It is scurrilous that the Government is pushing ahead with plans to spend many millions of taxpayer money on an abattoir in Saudi Arabia without knowing who’ll end up owning it, Labour MP David Parker says. “More than $12 million… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Scandalous Saudi sheep saga rolls on
    It is scurrilous that the Government is pushing ahead with plans to spend many millions of taxpayer money on an abattoir in Saudi Arabia without knowing who’ll end up owning it, Labour MP David Parker says. “More than $12 million… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Joyce destroys Government rail link certainty
    Infrastructure Minister Steven Joyce has destroyed the certainty the Prime Minister gave private sector investors in his State of the Nation announcement on the City Rail Link, Labour’s Auckland Issues spokesperson Phil Twyford says.   “Steven Joyce has again poured… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Joyce destroys Government rail link certainty
    Infrastructure Minister Steven Joyce has destroyed the certainty the Prime Minister gave private sector investors in his State of the Nation announcement on the City Rail Link, Labour’s Auckland Issues spokesperson Phil Twyford says.   “Steven Joyce has again poured… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Joyce destroys Government rail link certainty
    Infrastructure Minister Steven Joyce has destroyed the certainty the Prime Minister gave private sector investors in his State of the Nation announcement on the City Rail Link, Labour’s Auckland Issues spokesperson Phil Twyford says.   “Steven Joyce has again poured… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Joyce destroys Government rail link certainty
    Infrastructure Minister Steven Joyce has destroyed the certainty the Prime Minister gave private sector investors in his State of the Nation announcement on the City Rail Link, Labour’s Auckland Issues spokesperson Phil Twyford says.   “Steven Joyce has again poured… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Joyce destroys Government rail link certainty
    Infrastructure Minister Steven Joyce has destroyed the certainty the Prime Minister gave private sector investors in his State of the Nation announcement on the City Rail Link, Labour’s Auckland Issues spokesperson Phil Twyford says.   “Steven Joyce has again poured… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Joyce destroys Government rail link certainty
    Infrastructure Minister Steven Joyce has destroyed the certainty the Prime Minister gave private sector investors in his State of the Nation announcement on the City Rail Link, Labour’s Auckland Issues spokesperson Phil Twyford says.   “Steven Joyce has again poured… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Pasifika caucus visit as Kiribati water crisis deepens
    Water supplies are deteriorating in Kiribati as Labour’s  Pasifika climate change task force prepares to head there and Tuvalu, says Labour’s Pacific Climate Change Spokesperson Su’a William Sio.  “There is a growing crisis on the atolls due to water supplies… ...
    2 weeks ago

Public service advertisements by The Standard

Current CO2 level in the atmosphere