web analytics

ImperatorFish: Government Moves To End Boat People Crisis

Written By: - Date published: 2:28 pm, May 1st, 2012 - 24 comments
Categories: im/migration, same old national - Tags: ,

Scott at Imperator Fish has kindly given us permission to syndicate posts from his blog – the original of this post is here.

The Government has introduced into Parliament a series of amendments to the Immigration Act, in an effort to keep out illegal immigrants. 

John Key announced today that the law would be changed to put a stop to the influx of boatpeople and put an end to the massive crisis threatening to overwhelm New Zealand’s immigration system.

Officials have long been concerned about the potential threat to civilised society that illegal refugees pose.

Although no illegal refugee boats have ever reached New Zealand, the dangers posed to a nation of four and a half million people by a boatload of desperate and wretchedly poor brown people, assuming they survived the immense sea voyage here, is too dreadful for many to countenance.

Experts say that brown people often speak a language other than English, eat different foods, and engage in unusual religious practices.

It is feared that if even one refugee boat managed to somehow make it across thousands of kilometres of difficult seas, the few dozen ragged and desperate brown people that set foot on New Zealand shores would corrupt our morals, destroy our economy with their bludging, and speak all funny funny.

Medical authorities already have contingency plans in place in the event of a refugee boat landing.

Their modelling has shown that the country’s hospital system would quickly be overwhelmed in the event of a boat of brown people arriving here to make a better life, as radio talkback callers all around New Zealand went into sudden seizures, haemorrhaged, or experienced severe chest pains and panic attacks.

Medical plans to protect the population include the creation of special gated communities, and economic measures designed to encourage white people to look down in disdain at the minimum-wage immigrants serving their burgers or cleaning their office toilets.

Mr Key said that the law change was designed to make it tougher for some people to queue jump ahead of genuine applicants.

“Although it is likely that few, if any, refugee boats will ever reach New Zealand, we don’t want to be seen as a soft touch when it comes to immigration.” said Mr Key.

“This is about applying a consistent set of rules across the board. If people don’t like the rules we set down, then there are always alternatives for them. They can choose to settle in another country. Or they can do what some people do when they don’t like the law: pay us to change it.”

24 comments on “ImperatorFish: Government Moves To End Boat People Crisis”

  1. Draco T Bastard 1

    😆

  2. Although this is very tongue and cheek, and I got a laugh out of it, the real reason I believe is to do not with the people on the boat but the criminals that trade in people smuggling. It is quite a serious issue.

    • Bill 2.1

      What about the bastards who hem people into borders; bomb, starve or otherwise sanction the fuck out of them and then criminalise them if and when they are able to find a person who might be able to get them the fuck out of there?

      If you don’t want people smugglers then stop supporting the creation of situations that make them necessary.

      Or even better, demand open borders as many on both the right and the left (for different reasons) advocate.

      • You are right, there are bastards who ‘What about the bastards who hem people into borders; bomb, starve or otherwise sanction the fuck out of them and then criminalise them if and when they are able to find a person who might be able to get them the fuck out of there?” but this is no underground railway. The people sending them on these boats care not for freeing people or for making better life’s. These are awful criminals making a buck from misery.

        I don’t know how anyone could defend people smuggling

        • Bill 2.1.1.1

          Are there unscrupulous, heartless bastards looking to make a buck from peoples’ desperation? Absolutely! Are all people helping others flee unscrupulous, heartless bastards? Nope. But is any media going to highlight cases of people acting on humanitarian grounds? Nope. Not a chance.

          The only ‘good’ people smugglers – to use the common and very loaded phrase – lived during the 1930’s in Germany or Austria or in France in the 40’s etc. And none of them were unscrupulous bastards. Of course.

          • TheContrarian 2.1.1.1.1

            “Are there unscrupulous, heartless bastards looking to make a buck from peoples’ desperation? Absolutely! Are all people helping others flee unscrupulous, heartless bastards? Nope”

            I wholeheartedly agree. But how do you determine whether or not the arriving boat people were smuggled by criminal gangs or not?

            I would also hazard the suggestion that those who are genuinely trying to help wouldn’t stick them on a boat and send them thousands of miles into open water from a country like Indonesia (for example).

            • Bill 2.1.1.1.1.1

              If ‘our’ governments treated people on boats who have travelled however many miles on open oceans with respect and a bit of humanity, rather than as some form of floating scum then the influence of the gangs might diminish.

              I honestly don’t know the pro’s and con’s of an ocean journey versus a land crossing. I don’t know how many sea worthy boats make the journey that we don’t hear about. And I don’t know how many people are fleeced and then faced with boarding a floating coffin.

              But while people seeking to flee really fucked up and terrible situations are viewed as somehow ‘dodgy’ and that perception is underscrored again and again by the propaganda we get while legal barriers are put in their way, then they are going to have no option other than to escape by any means necessary…probably almost always illegally and often with massive associated risks.

              And I’d guess many are aware that they may well be fleeced and ‘dispatched’ without ever seeing a boat. Or that they might wind up on a sinking piece of shit that was never properly provisioned in the first place. That’s a mark of their utter desperation.

              You want rid of the gangs and an end to the drownings? Drop the bullshit propaganda and let these people out. It’s that simple.

              • “If ‘our’ governments treated people on boats who have travelled however many miles on open oceans with respect and a bit of humanity, rather than as some form of floating scum then the influence of the gangs might diminish.”

                Who are “our” governments? If you mean the NZ government I fail to see how treating the boat in any poorer or better way can diminish the influence of gangs.

                “But while people seeking to flee really fucked up and terrible situations are viewed as somehow ‘dodgy’ and that perception is underscrored again and again by the propaganda we get while legal barriers are put in their way, then they are going to have no option other than to escape by any means necessary…probably almost always illegally and often with massive associated risks.”

                This paragraph doesn’t make sense – do you mean viewed as dodgy by their own governments? Because if you mean dodgy by the NZ governments the sentence reads as if boat people are escaping NZ!

                “You want rid of the gangs and an end to the drownings? Drop the bullshit propaganda and let these people out. It’s that simple.”

                Let these people out of where? Who isn’t letting them out?

                • Bill

                  That’s the most abyssmal of non-responses.

                  • Non-responses? You made a conflicting statements that made very little sense and I asked you to clarify a few things to which you call a non-response.

                    OK…sure. Whatever.

  3. Colonial Viper 3

    A “massive crisis” threatening NZ yet no illegal refugee boats have ever made it here.

    Yes this is more controlling, fear mongering bullshit from Wellington.

  4. Campbell Larsen 4

    Now that we have established that all those that travel by boat are criminals and terrorists it shouldn’t take long to eliminate them – the solution is obvious, we must destroy all boats – there is clearly a causative effect at work here.

    • Te Reo Putake 4.1

      Au contraire, Campbell. It’s not the boats that are the problem, clearly the common link is the sea. If we just polluted our oceans and made them as unpleasant to live in or sail on as soon as possible, then the problem would go away. Luckily, BP are already way ahead of us and have already solved the boat people problem in Texas. Gisborne’s next!

      • DJL 4.1.1

        Or we could make the wages and living conditions worse here than where they are fleeing from..wait a sec the nacts are already onto that.

  5. Janice 5

    This bill was publicised as a distraction from Shonkey supporting Banksie.

  6. bad12 6

    Yes how dare those naughty boat people pay good money to people smugglers to convey them from one country to another,

    Don’t those naughty people know that they are supposed to pay a previous Minister of Immigration an exorbitant fee to arrange for them to be allowed to enter the country after having payed an even larger fee to the Government to be allowed to enter…

  7. Carol 7

    If people could freely immigrate, then governments in wealthier countries today would be less inclined to stay wealthy by exploiting poorer countries. Countries around the globe would behave more responsibly and work for more equality across countries. International aid wouldn’t be organised with strings attached that promoted the business and economic interests of the donor countries.

    It’s totally wrong that the wealthy can buy residency in countries of their choice, while the poor are restricted to live in the ghettos they were born into.

    Once anyone could move freely across geographic regions….. then along came capitalism.

    • “Once anyone could move freely across geographic regions….. then along came capitalism.”

      That is really reaching. In communist states there was no freedom of movement for example.
      Also, but this is going from memory, there have been many examples in history of freedom of movement being restricted by nationality and religion.

  8. Kiwi Pete 8

    This non-issue is a complete smokescreen to divert attention away from the heat the govt is feeling over the Banks and ACC issues.

    • Campbell Larsen 8.1

      Smokescreen or no, peoples liberty is at stake – I/S sums it up in Channeling Howard

      • mike e 8.1.1

        anyone who can sail a dodgy boat from southeast Asia to NZ should be given automatic citizenship and immediately signed up to team NZ for the America’s cup

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • Wellington Town Belt Bill becomes law
    The Wellington Town Belt will grow by 120 hectares after the passing today of the Wellington Town Belt Bill, Labour MP for Wellington Central Grant Robertson says. “The Town Belt is loved by Wellingtonians as a green and open space… ...
    14 hours ago
  • Wellington Town Belt Bill becomes law
    The Wellington Town Belt will grow by 120 hectares after the passing today of the Wellington Town Belt Bill, Labour MP for Wellington Central Grant Robertson says. “The Town Belt is loved by Wellingtonians as a green and open space… ...
    14 hours ago
  • 26 weeks paid parental leave the best Mother’s Day present
    If National truly values motherhood, they would drop their threat to scupper 26 weeks paid parental leave, says Labour MP Sue Moroney. “As New Zealand prepares to celebrate Mother’s Day on Sunday, John Key should remove his threat to… ...
    15 hours ago
  • 26 weeks paid parental leave the best Mother’s Day present
    If National truly values motherhood, they would drop their threat to scupper 26 weeks paid parental leave, says Labour MP Sue Moroney. “As New Zealand prepares to celebrate Mother’s Day on Sunday, John Key should remove his threat to… ...
    15 hours ago
  • Peering through the Huntly coal smokescreen
    Energy Minister Simon Bridges revealed in Parliament this week he has no idea what majority state-owned power companies are up to, when he wrongly claimed that Genesis Energy would not burn coal at Huntly unless there was a shortage of… ...
    GreensBy Gareth Hughes
    16 hours ago
  • Peering through the Huntly coal smokescreen
    Energy Minister Simon Bridges revealed in Parliament this week he has no idea what majority state-owned power companies are up to, when he wrongly claimed that Genesis Energy would not burn coal at Huntly unless there was a shortage of… ...
    GreensBy Gareth Hughes
    16 hours ago
  • Burger King dumps caged eggs!
    I’m not a fan of fast food companies, but a few days ago I was thrilled to see fast food multinational Burger King announcing that they are going to dump caged eggs in New Zealand. They join other food companies,… ...
    GreensBy Mojo Mathers
    19 hours ago
  • Burger King dumps caged eggs!
    I’m not a fan of fast food companies, but a few days ago I was thrilled to see fast food multinational Burger King announcing that they are going to dump caged eggs in New Zealand. They join other food companies,… ...
    GreensBy Mojo Mathers
    19 hours ago
  • Smoke and Mirrors on Pharmac funding
    Today’s announcement by John Key and Jonathan Coleman on Pharmac funding is a classic piece of financial jiggery-pokery, says Labour’s Health spokesperson Annette King.  “While I welcome any boost to the Pharmac budget this does not go far enough. ...
    20 hours ago
  • Firearms Inquiry calling for submissions.
    Parliament’s Law and Order select committee (of which I am a member) has today called for public submissions to its firearms inquiry. This conversation should have been live since last year, when the Police Association started talking about their concerns… ...
    GreensBy David Clendon
    21 hours ago
  • Firearms Inquiry calling for submissions.
    Parliament’s Law and Order select committee (of which I am a member) has today called for public submissions to its firearms inquiry. This conversation should have been live since last year, when the Police Association started talking about their concerns… ...
    GreensBy David Clendon
    21 hours ago
  • National playing politics with children’s lives
    John Key’s Government is playing political games with the lives of children by refusing to support a bill which will ensure every home in the country is warm and dry, Leader of the Opposition Andrew Little says. “National says that… ...
    22 hours ago
  • Unemployment rise demands Budget response
    The rise in unemployment shows the Budget must contain concrete plans for job growth that deliver for all New Zealanders, not just the few at the top, says Labour’s Finance spokesperson Grant Robertson. “After eight years under National it is… ...
    22 hours ago
  • School funding falls by $150 per student
    Parents are having to fork out even more for their kids’ education after the Government cut school funding per student by $150 in the past year, Labour’s Education spokesperson Chris Hipkins says. “According to the Education Ministry, its total per… ...
    24 hours ago
  • School funding falls by $150 per student
    Parents are having to fork out even more for their kids’ education after the Government cut school funding per student by $150 in the past year, Labour’s Education spokesperson Chris Hipkins says. “According to the Education Ministry, its total per… ...
    24 hours ago
  • Government must clamp down on dodgy PTEs
    The Government must ensure all international students coming to New Zealand are legitimate after a survey of those approved in Mumbai found only 9 per cent had genuine intentions and met English language requirements, Labour’s Education spokesperson Chris Hipkins says.… ...
    2 days ago
  • Government must clamp down on dodgy PTEs
    The Government must ensure all international students coming to New Zealand are legitimate after a survey of those approved in Mumbai found only 9 per cent had genuine intentions and met English language requirements, Labour’s Education spokesperson Chris Hipkins says.… ...
    2 days ago
  • Chance to crack down on foreign speculators
    If John Key is serious about stopping foreign speculators driving house prices out of the reach of Kiwi families, he will support Labour’s Member’s Bill to ban offshore investors from buying existing homes, Labour’s Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford says. “My… ...
    2 days ago
  • IRD had foreign trusts review on action plan
    The IRD was so ready to review foreign trusts it had the review on its action plan in November 2014, just before the Revenue Minister met with John Key’s lawyer, says the Leader of the Opposition Andrew Little. “The IRD… ...
    2 days ago
  • IRD had foreign trusts review on action plan
    The IRD was so ready to review foreign trusts it had the review on its action plan in November 2014, just before the Revenue Minister met with John Key’s lawyer, says the Leader of the Opposition Andrew Little. “The IRD… ...
    2 days ago
  • Child Youth and Family Review and Māori
    I wrote this blogpost sitting in Parliament listening to the Attorney General’s first reading speech on the Tauranga Moana Iwi Collective Redress and Ngā Hapū o Ngāti Ranganui Claims Settlement Bill. He has acknowledged the impact of colonisation that made… ...
    GreensBy Jan Logie
    2 days ago
  • Rebuilding Christchurch – a lost opportunity?
    In rebuilding Christchurch, the city has a rare chance to build in a sustainable, creative and people-centred way. We can create a city that is so much more than a simple re-construction of buildings and transport links. Christchurch could be… ...
    GreensBy Eugenie Sage
    3 days ago
  • Rebuilding Christchurch – a lost opportunity?
    In rebuilding Christchurch, the city has a rare chance to build in a sustainable, creative and people-centred way. We can create a city that is so much more than a simple re-construction of buildings and transport links. Christchurch could be… ...
    GreensBy Eugenie Sage
    3 days ago
  • Minister must ensure 111 issue is fixed
    The Police Minister must ensure the 111 fault is fixed as an urgent priority as a 40 minute wait can be the difference between life and death, says Labour’s Police spokesperson Stuart Nash. “The Police have said the fault lies… ...
    3 days ago
  • New Zealand a world leader – in unaffordable housing
    The National Government has made New Zealand a world leader – in unaffordable housing, Labour’s Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford says. “The latest International Monetary Fund report shows New Zealand had the world’s second fastest growth in house prices at the… ...
    3 days ago
  • New Zealand a world leader – in unaffordable housing
    The National Government has made New Zealand a world leader – in unaffordable housing, Labour’s Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford says. “The latest International Monetary Fund report shows New Zealand had the world’s second fastest growth in house prices at the… ...
    3 days ago
  • Hospital meals making you sick
    I don’t know about you but I felt a bit sick watching Health Minister Jonathon Coleman eat supposed Dunedin hospital food last week.  Dunedin people have tolerated a crumbling hospital, lower access to services, longer waiting times and gross food… ...
    GreensBy Metiria Turei
    3 days ago
  • Hospital meals making you sick
    I don’t know about you but I felt a bit sick watching Health Minister Jonathon Coleman eat supposed Dunedin hospital food last week.  Dunedin people have tolerated a crumbling hospital, lower access to services, longer waiting times and gross food… ...
    GreensBy Metiria Turei
    3 days ago
  • Key needs to stop shifting and come clean
    John Key’s position on his lawyer’s offshore trusts lobbying has changed yet again with the Prime Minister admitting he told Todd McClay that Ken Whitney had approached him, says Labour’s Finance spokesperson Grant Robertson. “Yet again information has to be… ...
    3 days ago
  • Key needs to stop shifting and come clean
    John Key’s position on his lawyer’s offshore trusts lobbying has changed yet again with the Prime Minister admitting he told Todd McClay that Ken Whitney had approached him, says Labour’s Finance spokesperson Grant Robertson. “Yet again information has to be… ...
    3 days ago
  • Revolutionary art in Palmerston North
    Last night I was a judge at the May Day Cup, an annual theatrical event which celebrates International Workers Day. The event was organised by stalwart unionist Dion Martin and included a range of performers competing for the Cup. This year… ...
    GreensBy Catherine Delahunty
    4 days ago
  • Revolutionary art in Palmerston North
    Last night I was a judge at the May Day Cup, an annual theatrical event which celebrates International Workers Day. The event was organised by stalwart unionist Dion Martin and included a range of performers competing for the Cup. This year… ...
    GreensBy Catherine Delahunty
    4 days ago
  • Andrew Little visits Zaatari refugee camp
    Leader of the Opposition, Andrew Little, has visited the largest Syrian refugee camp in the world, Zaatari in Jordan, a day after seeing New Zealand troops at Camp Taji in Iraq. Mr Little spent several hours in the camp, meeting… ...
    5 days ago
  • Com Com’s Z Energy decision anti-competitive
    The Commerce Commission’s decision to allow Z Energy to buy Caltex can only undermine the competition in the fuel industry that is needed to ensure New Zealanders pay the lowest price for petrol, Labour’s Consumer Affairs spokesperson David Shearer says.… ...
    5 days ago
  • Com Com’s Z Energy decision anti-competitive
    The Commerce Commission’s decision to allow Z Energy to buy Caltex can only undermine the competition in the fuel industry that is needed to ensure New Zealanders pay the lowest price for petrol, Labour’s Consumer Affairs spokesperson David Shearer says.… ...
    5 days ago
  • OAG raps Govt over the knuckles on HNZ contracts
    The Government has been rapped over the knuckles by the Auditor General over its failure to properly manage $2.3m of contracts and conflicts of interest in relation to a merchant banker advising them on the state house sell-off, says Labour’s… ...
    6 days ago
  • OAG raps Govt over the knuckles on HNZ contracts
    The Government has been rapped over the knuckles by the Auditor General over its failure to properly manage $2.3m of contracts and conflicts of interest in relation to a merchant banker advising them on the state house sell-off, says Labour’s… ...
    6 days ago
  • Brownlee must step in as EQC spin exposed
    Gerry Brownlee needs to step in after EQC’s desperate spin in the wake of yesterday’s landmark settlement has been exposed by its own documents, says Labour’s Canterbury spokesperson Megan Woods. “Yesterday’s settlement showed that thousands of homes may not have… ...
    6 days ago
  • Brownlee must step in as EQC spin exposed
    Gerry Brownlee needs to step in after EQC’s desperate spin in the wake of yesterday’s landmark settlement has been exposed by its own documents, says Labour’s Canterbury spokesperson Megan Woods. “Yesterday’s settlement showed that thousands of homes may not have… ...
    6 days ago
  • OIO must explain Argentine pollution prosecutions
    The Overseas Investment Office (OIO)has questions to answer about how it safeguarded our sensitive land by allowing foreign investors with criminal prosecutions to purchase Onetai Station in Taranaki, says Labour’s Land Information spokesperson David Cunliffe.   “Rafael and Federico Grozovsky… ...
    6 days ago
  • Aussie banks in NZ should ban lending to offshore buyers
    ASB, Westpac and ANZ must confirm whether or not they will continue to fund the over-heated property market by lending to non-resident offshore home buyers, Labour’s Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford says. “This issue has arisen because their parent banks have… ...
    6 days ago
  • Aussie banks in NZ should ban lending to offshore buyers
    ASB, Westpac and ANZ must confirm whether or not they will continue to fund the over-heated property market by lending to non-resident offshore home buyers, Labour’s Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford says. “This issue has arisen because their parent banks have… ...
    6 days ago
  • Murray McCully needs to come clean over Tokelau ferry debacle
    Foreign Minister Murray McCully needs to come clean on why a New Zealand aid-funded vessel intended to service the Tokelau Islands is delayed, over budget and failed its sea trials, Labour’s Foreign Affairs spokesperson David Shearer says. “The new ship… ...
    6 days ago
  • Full independent inquiry needed to save New Zealand’s reputation
    Revelations that John Key's personal lawyer and trust advisor led a lobbying campaign to shut down a review of New Zealand's foreign trust regime makes the case for a full scale independent inquiry a matter of urgency, Labour's Finance spokesperson… ...
    6 days ago
  • Full independent inquiry needed to save New Zealand’s reputation
    Revelations that John Key's personal lawyer and trust advisor led a lobbying campaign to shut down a review of New Zealand's foreign trust regime makes the case for a full scale independent inquiry a matter of urgency, Labour's Finance spokesperson… ...
    6 days ago
  • Andrew Little visits NZ troops in Iraq and refugees in Jordan
    Opposition Leader Andrew Little has visited New Zealand troops at Camp Taji, Iraq. Mr Little also met with Iraqi Defence Minister Khaled Al-Obedih and senior military officials from the Coalition forces in Iraq. He now heads to Jordan to see… ...
    7 days ago
  • Workplace death toll still too high
    It’s a damning indictment on the Government that as workers gather to remember their lost workmates on Worker’s Memorial Day, New Zealand’s workplace death toll is still far too high, Labour’s Workplace Relations and Safety spokesperson Iain Lees-Galloway says. “At… ...
    7 days ago
  • Workplace death toll still too high
    It’s a damning indictment on the Government that as workers gather to remember their lost workmates on Worker’s Memorial Day, New Zealand’s workplace death toll is still far too high, Labour’s Workplace Relations and Safety spokesperson Iain Lees-Galloway says. “At… ...
    7 days ago
  • Minister must come clean on implications of landmark settlement
    Gerry Brownlee has urgent and serious questions to answer in the wake of today’s landmark EQC settlement, which potentially has major implications for thousands of Cantabrians, says Labour’s Canterbury spokesperson Megan Woods. ...
    7 days ago
  • Mossack Fonseca links to OIO approvals must be investigated
    The Minister for Land Information must investigate and disclose how many applications to the Overseas Investment Office (OIO) have links to Mossack Fonseca, says Labour’s Land Information spokesperson David Cunliffe. “Labour can now reveal the OIO approved an application from… ...
    7 days ago

Public service advertisements by The Standard

Current CO2 level in the atmosphere