web analytics
The Standard
Advertising

John Key discovers new word. Country celebrates.

Written By: - Date published: 12:09 pm, February 23rd, 2010 - 17 comments
Categories: humour, john key, Satire - Tags: , , , , , ,

This morning the DomPost ran an article by Tracy Watkins about several ministers misusing their ministerial credit cards for personal entertainment. They obtained the information by doing OIAs (Official Information Act requests). Now I’ve come to expect that NACT ministers will do (in John Keys words) “stupid” things in office. But what I found significant was that John Key appears to have discovered the use of a new word “disappointment”. This is a major advance for the NACT political vocabulary.

Previously he has been known to extensively use the word “relaxed” about most of the antics that his ministers get up to. However he has been known to use the word “concerned” on very special occasions – most notably when Richard Worth left office and eventually parliament for unknown reasons.

However we appear to be entering a new epoch where the Prime Minister is taking his duties to the country more seriously. He is now “disappointed” in the behaviour of his ministers using credit cards provided by taxpayers to pay for drinks and lunch. However since I think that he is in charge of his ministers, perhaps he should start getting disappointed in his own performance as well.

Labour leader Phil Goff said the improper use of the cards and the failure of Ministerial Services to challenge questionable spending indicated bad management by Mr Key.

“You can’t use your government credit card to buy wine for your National Party mates and put it on the governments bill. That’s quite clearly improper. John Key promised high standards from his administration. He now needs to deliver on that.”

Indeed…… Speaking of that copyrighted phrase, it will be interesting watching DPF spin this on behalf of the government.

The ministers in trouble are Phil Heatley the housing minister, and Gerry Brownlee, the minister in charge of mining conservation lands and large lunches. Gerry has surrendered his credit card, which will be a great relief to all taxpayers.

But it is good to see our current Prime Minister slowly expanding his vocabulary. Soon he may be able to articulate what he means for some of his great ideas in documents longer than small slogans like “3000 jobs from cycleway” and “north of fifty dollars a week in tax cuts” so we will be in a position to evaluate how well he is doing his job. But in reality one shouldn’t expect so much from our clueless prime minister.

17 comments on “John Key discovers new word. Country celebrates.”

  1. Rich 1

    Strikes me that Brownlee could just have claimed that all that lunch was for his personal feeding and nobody would have ever suspected.

    [lprent: Cruel – but probably an accurate observation. He could try this high protein diet that Lyn has got me on… ]

  2. Santi 2

    Acutually, what does Key do? Lazy to te extreme, he seems.

  3. gobsmacked 3

    Phil Heatley, quoted in the Herald:

    “I should have known the rules much better around the credit card use, and it has cost me dearly.”

    Cost you what, Phil? Money? No. Your job? No. The Herald goes on:

    “Mr Heatley said he was doing a good job of overseeing his ministerial portfolios, including fisheries, and had not considered resigning.”

    I don’t think it’s a resigning matter myself, but spare us the violins, Phil. Doing a quick mea culpa is hardly a punishment.

    • Clarke 3.1

      Of course it’s cost him dearly – apparently he had to repay the $70! And nothing defines a true Conservative like money – actually having to give money back to the taxpayer must have cut him to the quick.

  4. Pascal's bookie 4

    Mr Brownlee said he had now returned his ministerial credit card “so there can be no future confusion over what is and is not ministerial business. I accept I have made a mistake and I have apologised to the Prime Minister”.

    ieck.

    it’s all fun and games making teh funnies about how conservatives tend to have a few bats free in the belfrey,

    and/or Freud camping in the back passage and what have you,

    but I’m not sure what’s weirder.

    Key treating his Cabinet like children, or his Cabinet treating him like daddy.

    • Tigger 4.1

      You’d think they were puppies that peed on the rug… I can imagine he smacked them on the nose with a newspaper and put them outside for the night.

  5. Lprent you forgot Sloppy. Personally I think Sloppy describes these people better. Mr Sloppy leader of the sloppy and stupid cabinet.

  6. randal 6

    new words eh?
    how about unambitious?
    (rod oram; rnz this morning).
    this is administration is fast becoming a government of small change artists and imcompetent air heads.

  7. Santi 7

    And Farrar, National’s number 2 spin doctor, continues to earn his salary by defend the government.

  8. tc 8

    Behold our fearless and respected PM….how many of his ministers have been caught either ignoring his directives, like free spouse travel o’seas, or pretending they made a mistake.

    All this and he’s re-written rules to accomodate Blinglish and co……all bow down before your leader says the PM…..certainly say the cabinet but where are crosby textor to comply.

  9. @Santi: “And Farrar, National’s number 2 spin doctor, continues to earn his salary by defend the government.”

    At the risk of being, you know, fair to DPF, his comment on this was “This is basically unacceptable, no ifs, no buts.”
    http://www.kiwiblog.co.nz/2010/02/ministerial_credit_cards.html

    And yes, yes – I know that had this happened under Labour it would have been evidence of the end of civilisation, but he DOES support National, you know!

    • lprent 9.1

      Thanks for the link. I tend to not read much at KB these days. I did a scan today as I wrote the post, but obviously didn’t scroll down far enough.

      Don’t have the time to get around all of the blogs, email and facebook links I’d like. It interferes enough with work time already. KB has gotten a bit turgid without the dog-whistling available to the opposition, and the uber-partisan way that the sewer section operates means that the material in the posts doesn’t get turned over and examined in any detail. It is all a bit boring.

  10. Anne 10

    This National cabinet would collectively be one of the wealthiest ever, yet some rip off the tax-payer by way of accomodation rorts, and others illicitly use government credit cards for personal spending. Do they get sacked? NO WAY.

    A former Labour PM donated a painting for charity. She was too busy running the country (heard that recently?) so she arranged for someone else to paint it for her. After all it was in a good cause. She was bawled out by all and sundry as though she had committed the ultimate in crimes. In another era when physical force as a form of punishment in schools was acceptable, an ex-Labour cabinet minister administered his version that wouldn’t be acceptable today. He was hounded out of office and parliament altogether.

    Talk about double standards!

  11. Anne 11

    I should have included the fact that the Labour cabinet minister was hounded out of office… about twenty years after the incident occurred.

  12. aj 12

    I guess they feel emboldened by the fact that blinglish goes the full monty when it comes to claiming allowances

  13. Anne 13

    Saw Phil Heatley on TV tonight all but weeping into his hankie with remorse. What’s the bet the real reason was because he’d just had a bollocking from JK who probably told him to “go front the media and lay it on with a shovel.” Bear in mind this is the same cabinet minister who was implicated in the accommodation scam and who subsequently expressed his “deep remorse” only a few short months ago. He’s got a very short memory hasn’t he…

    Btw, is he related to the ultra rich Craig Heatley who – together with Alan Gibbs and a couple of others – bankrolled Act into existence and kept them solvent for the first few years?

Important links

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

1 2 3 7

  • Housing Accord not working – prices continue skyward
      The Government's Auckland Housing Accord isn't working as house prices continue to go through the roof, Labour's Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford says. “The average Auckland house has gone up by $110,000 since the Accord came into effect 15 months… ...
    16 hours ago
  • Justice for Teina Pora long overdue
    The Privy Council’s decision to quash Teina Pora’s convictions for the rape and murder of Susan Burdett could be the final chapter in a case that should have been closed years ago, Labour’s Justice Spokesperson Jacinda Ardern says. “Teina Pora… ...
    21 hours ago
  • Ministers must answer questions on IRD blowout
    The current and previous Revenue Ministers must front up and explain how the child support system had a budget blowout from $30 million to $210 million in just four years, says Labour’s Revenue spokesperson Clayton Cosgrove. “Peter Dunne was Revenue… ...
    2 days ago
  • Curb stratospheric public CEO salaries
    A review of the way MPs’ pay is set should also look at ways to curb excessive rises in the salaries of public service chief executives, Labour Leader Andrew Little says. “Some of these CEOs have had stratospheric pay increases… ...
    2 days ago
  • 50 cents? Makes no sense.
    The minimum wage rose by 50 cents this month from 14.25 to 14.75. While it’s a small step towards ensuring minimum workers get a fair share, it’s important to remember that real wages only rose 1.5% while productivity rose by… ...
    GreensBy Denise Roche MP
    3 days ago
  • The Serco corrections circus
    It should seem obvious to employers, private or public, that it’s important to do what you can to retain your best, most experienced staff. They make life easier for you because they’re effective, attentive and often respected by those around… ...
    GreensBy David Clendon MP
    3 days ago
  • Time for NZ to prohibit the killing of great apes
    That ban was widely hailed, and spurred efforts in other countries to get similar bans. However, apes are still being exploited, abused and killed, both in captivity and in the wild. Examples of cruelty, neglect and abuse abound. Apes are… ...
    GreensBy Mojo Mathers MP
    6 days ago
  • Auckland building consents: Tragic
    The only word to describe the latest building consent figures for Auckland is ‘tragic’, Labour’s Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford says. “Whatever the Government is doing to address the Auckland housing crisis, it is clearly not working. ...
    6 days ago
  • A whiff of a new biosecurity scandal?
    A pest which could create havoc for New Zealand’s horticulture and agriculture sector must be as much a focus for the Government as hunting out fruit flies, Labour’s Biosecurity spokesperson Damien O’Connor says. “While the Ministry for Primary Industries is… ...
    6 days ago
  • Government shrugs off health sector crisis
    Despite new evidence showing that cuts to health spending are costing lives the Government continues to deny the sector is struggling, Labour’s Health spokesperson Annette King says. “Health services in New Zealand are in crisis. ...
    7 days ago
  • Parata lowered the bar for failing charter school
    When Hekia Parata became aware that the Whangaruru charter school was experiencing major problems her first action was to drop standards by reducing the number of qualified teachers they had to employ, Labour’s Education spokesperson Chris Hipkins has revealed. “Hekia… ...
    7 days ago
  • National not being straight about the economy
    John Key and Bill English need to be straight with New Zealanders about the damage their failure to diversify the economy is doing, after new figures show export growth plunged due to a collapse in dairy exports, says Grant Robertson.… ...
    7 days ago
  • Mind the Gap
    This week the International Monetary Fund released a report on the wider economic value in closing the gender pay gap. When even the bastions of free-market economics start to raise concerns about gender pay gaps, we have to realise how… ...
    GreensBy Jan Logie MP
    7 days ago
  • Labour will hold National to parental leave promise
    Labour will hold National to its promise to increase the support given to new parents of premature, multiple birth and babies born with disabilities, Labour’s paid parental leave campaigner Sue Moroney says. "I am naturally disappointed that after battling for… ...
    1 week ago
  • It was all just pillar talk
    Steven Joyce’s confession that he can no longer guarantee a pillar-free design for the New Zealand International Convention Centre shows the Government has abandoned its dream of creating an ‘iconic’ ‘world-class’ structure, says Labour Economic Development spokesperson David Clark. “Steven… ...
    1 week ago
  • Australians move on offshore speculators
    John Key might want to have a quiet word with Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott about Canberra's just-announced crack down on offshore speculators when he visits New Zealand this week, Labour's Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford says."Tony Abbott's centre right government… ...
    1 week ago
  • Government at odds on overseas driver crashes
    National backbencher Jacqui Dean has spoken out about overseas driver crashes, putting herself at odds with Prime Minister John Key who is on record as saying it’s not a big issue, Labour’s Transport spokesperson Phil Twyford says. “I’m not surprised… ...
    1 week ago
  • Human Rights and the Palestine Crisis
    Last week I heard two Palestinians speak at Wellington events about the ongoing crisis in their country. Samar Sabawi spoke to a full house about the history of Palestine and gave us a lucid and disturbing account of the situation… ...
    GreensBy Catherine Delahunty MP
    1 week ago
  • Time to take real care of our kids
    An Amnesty International report has once again criticised New Zealand’s track record on looking after our kids, Labour’s Children’s spokesperson Jacinda Ardern says. The annual report, which looks at global human rights abuses highlights not only the fact that high… ...
    1 week ago
  • John Key wrong about Labour’s war vote
    John Key’s desperate claims that the former Labour Government didn’t put combat troop deployment to a Parliamentary vote are simply wrong, Labour’s Defence spokesperson Phil Goff says. “It was disgraceful that the Prime Minister ran rough shod over democracy and… ...
    1 week ago
  • Manus Island and the New Zealand Government
    This week the Greens have participated in awareness activity about Manus Island, the refugee camp on an island in Papua New Guinea where Australia dumps asylum seekers. John Key says that he has every confidence in the Australian Government’s claim… ...
    GreensBy Catherine Delahunty MP
    2 weeks ago
  • Election Inquiry – Getting accessible voting on the agenda
    James Shaw has been doing a series of blogs on the Election Inquiry into last year’s general election.  I thought this was a great opportunity to raise an issue very dear to me – accessible voting. Last year’s general election… ...
    GreensBy Mojo Mathers MP
    2 weeks ago
  • RMA changes no solution to Christchurch housing
    Housing will continue to be a big issue in 2015. The latest Consumer Price Index, released last month, shows both good news and bad news on the housing front. After years of being the most expensive place to build a… ...
    GreensBy Eugenie Sage MP
    2 weeks ago
  • Saving kokako in South Auckland’s Hunua Ranges
    It is amazing that you can hear the song of the endangered North Island kokako in South Auckland’s Hunua Ranges, less than 50 kms from the central city. A heavy schedule of policy workshops at the Green Party’s Policy… ...
    GreensBy Eugenie Sage MP
    2 weeks ago
  • Let’s not turn a blind eye to human rights
    The Cricket World Cup has just opened in New Zealand, and it’s an opportunity for us to shine on the world stage. International sport can be a chance for us to build relationships with other countries, and examine what it… ...
    GreensBy Catherine Delahunty MP
    2 weeks ago
  • Its Just Not Cricket
    This week it was my privilege to work with Sri Lankan Tamil communities in this country and host Australian journalist and human rights advocate Trevor Grant. I knew a bit about Trevor from his biography but I didn’t know just… ...
    GreensBy Catherine Delahunty MP
    3 weeks ago
  • Time for NZ to #BeCrueltyFree
    The Government is about to progress the final stages of the Animal Welfare Amendment bill. This will be our last opportunity to get changes made to improve the bill to ensure a better outcome for animals. I have put forwards… ...
    GreensBy Mojo Mathers MP
    3 weeks ago
  • We want access!
    Access to buildings is a big issue for many New Zealanders. It looks like that, due to the hard work and persistence of people in the disability community, the Government may finally be starting to take access to buildings seriously.… ...
    GreensBy Mojo Mathers MP
    3 weeks ago
  • Greens call on Super Fund to divest from fossil fuels
    The Green Party today called on the New Zealand Superannuation Fund (the Fund) to divest from fossil fuels, starting immediately with coal. The call was accompanied with a new report, Making money from a climate catastrophe: The case for divesting… ...
    GreensBy Russel Norman MP
    3 weeks ago

Removed at the request of The Daily Blog.
Public service advertisements by The Standard

Current CO2 level in the atmosphere