web analytics
The Standard

John Key: The invisible man

Written By: - Date published: 7:52 am, December 12th, 2013 - 47 comments
Categories: john key, Minister for International Embarrassment, Minister for Photo-ops, Satire - Tags:

Fresh from his comedy career on Letterman, his rolling over puppy imitation for Warner Brothers, and other such high profile appearances. John Key has now taken to reprising the role of “The Man with No Name”.

3 News reported yesterday.

Key_Cameron_mandela_1200

Prime Minister John Key has been labelled an “unidentified guest” at Nelson Mandela’s memorial service in a photograph published by a US media outlet.

The photo of Mr Key and British Prime Minister David Cameron appeared in a gallery on the New York Daily News website among a number of moving pictures from this morning’s ceremony.

It was captioned: “British Prime Minister David Cameron (R) laughs with an unidentified guest as he attends the official ceremony for the late South African president Nelson Mandela.”

Personally I think that the Queen of Thorns put it much more succinctly with this image

The kitten and John Key

He is a bit like that old advertisement for L&P – “World famous in New Zealand”.

47 comments on “John Key: The invisible man”

    • lprent 1.1

      Nah, just amused the hell out of me when I was reading the feed this morning.

      Let me see. He is the PM of NZ and Minister of Tourism. So some journos in one of our primary tourist sources know him as “Unidentified Guest”. They damn well knew who Helen Clark was.

      • infused 1.1.1

        She had a 24/7 sour face, so it was pretty hard to miss her.

        http://www.frontpagemag.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/clark4.gif

        • Arfamo 1.1.1.1

          True. And Key has one of those faces you struggle to remember & describe when he’s just mugged you.

          • greywarbler 1.1.1.1.1

            arfamo
            :grin:

            • Arfamo 1.1.1.1.1.1

              Yeah, I dunno officer. He snuck up on me from behind, out of nowhere. He was wearing a pinstrip suit and a blue tie. He said something about a brighter future and then hit me over the head with a pokie machine. I saw a flash, so maybe that was the brighter future. I dunno. Anyway, before I knew what was happening I was on the ground, reeling, and the bugger was going through my wallet muttering about funding tax cuts this way and increasing gst, and selling government asses (or it might’ve been assets, I think he has a speech impediment). Then the bastard kicked my wife’s legs from under her, nicked the kids’ lunches, and disappeared at a fair rate of knots up the national cycleway.

              I saw the bugger again just yesterday in some photo taken at Mandela’s memorial service but whoever took that photo doesn’t know who the hell he is either. Good luck trying to catch him. He’s pretty slippery.

              • blue leopard (Get Lost GCSB Bill)

                :lol:

                • Arfamo

                  There were two witnesses, but I dunno if they’ll be any use to you. One of them said his name was Shearer but he said he missed the whole thing because he was playing his guitar at the time and umm…ahhh…suddenly remembered he usually played it the other way round.

                  The other was some bloke Cunliffe, but he said he was too busy on his cellphone trying to get hold of Parker and Goff and telling them to shut up for chrissakes than to pay attention to what was actually happening to a voter at the moment. He said he liked the guy’s suit but wasn’t all that impressed with his legwork.

                  • blue leopard (Get Lost GCSB Bill)

                    I daresay there were other people trying to help you too and I’ll bet the ‘unidentified man’ muttered something about money and rent-a-crowds – what a nuisance that people always gather around objecting to his muggings…same people…must be being paid to do that…mutter mutter….

                    • Arfamo

                      Initially I thought the mugger might’ve been drunk. He kept saying “act shilly, act shilly”. I said, I’m not fuckin acting silly you bastard, you’ve hit me over the head with a pokie machine and I’m tryin to figure out wtf you’re up to with my wallet while I’m still seein stars…

                    • blue leopard (Get Lost GCSB Bill)

                      :lol: Tania (below) said it best – just sums it up

                  • greywarbler

                    Then they found the guy Cunliffe reeling saying that he had seen a double rainbow and what did it mean? Seems a nice guy but still a bit confused. When he settles down and works out the rainbow thing he’ll probably sharpen up.

              • Tania

                lol I love this Arfamo just sums it up lol

        • greywarbler 1.1.1.2

          infused
          She [Helen Clark} had a 24/7 ‘serious’ face….FIFY
          She took the job seriously, and within the limitations of the neo lib culture she was trying to maneourvre within, and the damaged Labour Party she was emerging from, she did a good job at holding the bridge against the ravaging NACT hordes. They were armed with slings and arrows, and any weapon that their cunning and narrow., power-focussed minds could conceive. What a Rosemary’s Baby that was.

        • yeshe 1.1.1.3

          Infused: What a vile comment you make. This elegant and erudite woman is mourning the loss of a friend. Perhaps you have no empathy for how that might feel.

          • The Gormless Fool formerly known as Oleolebiscuitbarrell 1.1.1.3.1

            You guys have to stop living in the past.

            The Glorious Reign is over.

            • Arfamo 1.1.1.3.1.1

              The Glorious Reign is over? You’re the one living in the past. Everybody knows Clark’s long gone. The country’s now being run by Louis XVI’s jester.

        • Pascal's bookie 1.1.1.4

          Frontpage mag eh?

          And you shall know them by their links.

  1. One Anonymous Knucklehead 2

    :lol: @ QoT.

    Interesting body language in the other pic.

    • lprent 2.1

      Almost worth a caption contest…

      “Milly just expressed her opinion on my hand..”
      “Don’t touch the suit..”

      • One Anonymous Knucklehead 2.1.1

        “Don’t touch the suit” – spot on. “They’re getting so good at imitating us. God I hate these things, such a bore”.

  2. geoff 3

    Fuck he’s a try hard. A natural brown-noser.

  3. greywarbler 4

    I wonder if the black man in front is a South African Who Is Not Amused at the white pollies in the background. The constituency they represent are not their whole countries, but the ones whose minds go when Mandela is referred to, ‘Do I Care? I’ve just remembered that I don’t care, but have you heard the one about a black man, a white goat and a vuvuzela?

    • Colonial Viper 4.1

      As an aside, it seems Mugabe was very well received by the crowd. Interesting the different perspective we get delivered over here in the west huh.

  4. Steve 5

    I think the photo of Abbott,Key and Cameron on the TV3 site would be best for a caption contest.They are all having a cuppa,Abbott and Cameron are laughing and Key(in the middle) looks unimpressed.http://www.3news.co.nz/Politics.aspx check out popular.

  5. Puckish Rogue 6

    So David Cunliffe should have no problems becoming more popular then John Key then

    • Arfamo 6.1

      No he might have some problems there. John Key’s only popular with a minority of electors though. Let’s see what next year brings.

    • felix 6.2

      Hey Puck, Cunliffe hasn’t been desperately trying to convince NZ that he’s everyone’s best mate.

  6. Tracey 7

    Seems a trvial thing to devote a thread to. Unless they were laughing “cos the terrorist is finally gone” …. I apologise if I recall incorectly that cameron considered ma
    ndela a terrorist

  7. Will@Welly 8

    So our dear leader is worth………. nothing on the world stage. That appears about right for this egotistical moron. With Parliament breaking for the summer recess, I wont be surprised if he hardly acknowledges the outcome of the referendum, instead talking up how important and influential it was to be at Mandela’s funeral – if only he could remember.

  8. Brian 9

    I wish I could forget him so easily. Ah well – Cameron will be in opposition after the next election and Key will be somewhere else but not here. Silver linings

  9. Tracey 10

    How his popularity cld have jumped if he had said. I was pro tour. I was young and stupid. I realised the greatness of mandela and the cause when I became a man.

    I was 15 in 81. I believed what my parents believed that if half of nz wanted to play then that was democracy. Within a few short years I had changed my view.

  10. Tracey 11

    Caption should have read

    you should see what I have up my sleeve

  11. captain hook 12

    next year he will disappear completely and forever.
    abracadabra begone.

  12. Will@Welly 13

    Caption this: John Key arrives at Parliament on his first day, with “lunch.” Gareth Morgan nods approvingly in the background.

  13. ghostrider888 14

    Invisible? if only he’d disappear .

  14. adam 15

    John Doe!!!

    Thank my cuz for that one :)

  15. Craig Y 16

    Sadly, Key later fed Milly the Kitten to Gerry Brownlee.

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

1 2 3 8

  • John Key now admits no broad support for RMA changes
    John Key has now been forced to admit that he never had the broad political support to gut the Resource Management Act, says Labour’s Environment spokesperson Megan Woods. “Cornerstone legislation such as the RMA should never be changed without genuine… ...
    9 hours ago
  • National’s changes leave student bodies in chaos
    The chaos created by National’s scrapping of compulsory student association membership may force the 86-year old Union of Students Association to fold, Labour’s Tertiary Education spokesperson David Cunliffe says. “National’s 2011 Voluntary Student Membership Act has left student associations with… ...
    10 hours ago
  • Tragedy must be impetus for better training
    The Police Minister needs to explain why unsworn and inadequately trained custody officers were put in a situation of caring for a medically unwell prisoner on a busy Saturday night, Labour’s Police spokesperson Kelvin Davis says. Commenting on an IPCA… ...
    3 days ago
  • Government must be more transparent on investor state clauses
    The Government must be more transparent around the draft investor state dispute settlements in the TPPA, says David Parker, Labour’s Export Growth and Trade spokesperson. “Labour is pro trade, and is proud of the FTA we negotiated with China, which… ...
    4 days ago
  • Protect university staff and student voices
    The Green Party believes ensuring student and staff representation on university councils is important. National recently passed a law reducing the size of university governance councils while increasing the proportion of the members nominated by, guess who… Steven Joyce. The… ...
    GreensBy Gareth Hughes MP
    4 days ago
  • C’mon Nick what’s the truth on the RMA
     “Nick Smith has got to fess up and tell us what is happening to his much vaunted RMA reform, Labour’s Environment spokesperson Megan Woods says.  “With just a day and a half to go before the polls open in Northland,… ...
    4 days ago
  • SSC salaries sink National’s spending spin
    Massive pay rises at the State Services Commission prove National’s claims of clamping down on spending in the public sector are simply fantasy, Labour’s State Services spokesman Kris Faafoi says. “Salaries in this one department are almost $70,000 more than… ...
    4 days ago
  • We can fix Christchurch and keep our assets
    The Christchurch City Council is seeking public feedback on its proposed 10 year plan for Council revenue and spending. This is probably one of the most significant 10 year plans ever to be written by a local council because of… ...
    GreensBy Eugenie Sage MP
    4 days ago
  • Epidemic of serious assaults in our prisons
    Labour wants stab proof vests and pepper spray for all corrections officers to keep them safe from the epidemic of serious prison assaults that are occurring around the country’s jails, says Labour’s Corrections Spokesperson Kelvin Davis.  “There have been five… ...
    4 days ago
  • Listen to the locals Hekia!
    Minister Hekia Parata needs to understand what consultation is, Port Hills MP Ruth Dyson says. “It means you have to listen to what people say in their submissions and then be able to demonstrate you have considered their views when… ...
    5 days ago
  • Thanking our caregivers
    Let’s celebrate and thank our caregivers. This week is caregivers’ week. It’s a chance to acknowledge the thousands of women, and occasional other person, who are caring for the elderly and disabled in our country. They hold people’s lives in… ...
    GreensBy Jan Logie MP
    5 days ago
  • Mana Post shop the best outcome for community
    Labour MP for Mana Kris Faafoi has welcomed the move to place the services from the Mana Post shop to a local small business. “This is the best outcome for the community we could ask for. All the vital services… ...
    5 days ago
  • Labour looks to put the tea back into entitlements
    Labour is moving to restore the rights of Kiwis to take tea and rest breaks, Leader Andrew Little says. “Within months of the Government’s Employment Relations Amendment Bill becoming law we are already seeing some of our largest companies, including… ...
    5 days ago
  • Desperate money grab to keep Ruataniwha afloat
    The Hawke’s Bay Regional Investment Company’s decision to borrow $4 million to keep the Ruataniwha project afloat is a case of throwing ratepayer’s good money after bad, says Labour’s Water spokesperson Meka Whaitiri and Napier MP Stuart Nash.   “This bridging… ...
    6 days ago
  • Roundup: UN finds it “probably” causes cancer
    At last the UN has spoken out against the widely-used weedkiller Roundup. The UN’s International Agency for Research on Cancer has identified glyphosate, the principle ingredient in Roundup, as a probable carcinogen. They also include as probable carcinogens the insecticides… ...
    GreensBy Steffan Browning MP
    6 days ago
  • Invermay petition delivered to Parliament
    Labour’s Economic Development spokesperson David Clark handed over a 12,450 signature Save Invermay petition to Dunedin South MP Clare Curran on the steps of Parliament today.  “The level of support that the petition has received across New Zealand is overwhelming,”… ...
    6 days ago
  • Redcliffs School closure plan wrong
    The Government’s proposal to consult on the closure of Redcliffs School not only goes against the best geotechnical advice, but more importantly goes against the best educational outcomes for Redcliffs children and the health of our community, Port Hills MP… ...
    6 days ago
  • Cotton On first to test the tea breaks law
    Australian corporate Cotton On, the first major business operating in New Zealand to exploit the new tea breaks law, could walk away from negotiations if it doesn’t get its own way, says Labour Party Labour Relations spokesperson Iain Lees-Galloway.  “Cotton… ...
    1 week ago
  • World water day: eight rivers in one day
    Our photo journey started by the Waioweka (also known as Waioeka) River which flows from Te Urewera to Opotiki, and is surrounded by beautiful forest. The water looked great! Kopeopeo Canal It contrasted greatly with the Kopeopeo Canal near Whakatane,… ...
    GreensBy Catherine Delahunty MP
    1 week ago
  • Council can stop Port’s encroachment on harbour
    As owner of the Port of Auckland, Council can stop the wharf extension and reclamation if it wants to, says Labour’s Auckland Issues spokesperson Phil Goff. ‘As owner the council is custodian of the port and harbour on behalf of… ...
    1 week ago
  • We all benefit when education meets everyone’s needs
    As Dyslexia week comes to a close,  Dyslexia NZ have reminded us that around 10% of our citizens are dyslexic and are entitled to better support. One of their strongest arguments is that failure to provide identification and support for… ...
    GreensBy Catherine Delahunty MP
    1 week ago
  • Big change starts small
    Today marks Race Relations Day in New Zealand. Race Relations Day coincides with the International Day for the Elimination of Racial Discrimination.  The United Nations General Assembly chose this day as it marks the day in 1960 when 69 peaceful… ...
    GreensBy Denise Roche MP
    1 week ago
  • Israel, Palestine and the question of statehood
    The knife-edge election in Israel complicates the Middle East situation, even more than usual. The Prime Minister-elect, Binyamin Netanyahu, is moving to form a government. Netanyahu has indicated that, during his term, a Palestinian state would not be established. That… ...
    GreensBy Kennedy Graham MP
    1 week ago
  • Christchurch transport goes backwards
    The Green Party has a vision of a liveable, accessible Christchurch with a sense of identity and strong connected communities. Instead, 2013 census figures released by Statistics New Zealand reveal a fractured community, and tell a story of frustrated Christchurch commuters… ...
    GreensBy Eugenie Sage MP
    1 week ago
  • Super Fund should divest $140 million in high risk coal
    The Green Party is calling on the New Zealand Super Fund to divest their $140 million investment in coal companies that are vulnerable to becoming financially stranded according to a damning new report from Oxford University. The Smith School of… ...
    GreensBy Russel Norman MP
    2 weeks ago
  • Learn to count with Mark Osborne: 0 + 1 = ?
    The adage about the first casualty of war being truth is one that might often be applied to the political battle for hearts and minds, and of course votes. A rather unfortunate example of this has been arriving in the… ...
    GreensBy David Clendon MP
    2 weeks ago
  • Is it still a safety net when the holes are this big?
    Over the last few weeks I’ve been wondering how safe our income support system is for people, especially those with cognitive or learning disabilities. I’ve been trying to support a young man who was severely injured in a workplace accident… ...
    GreensBy Jan Logie MP
    2 weeks ago
  • Pasifika – protecting the Pacific needed now more than ever.
    Over the weekend thousands of Aucklanders flocked to celebrate our city’s diverse Pacific communities and cultures at the annual Pasifika festival and the Greens were there to join them. The Pasifika festival has been held every year for 23… ...
    GreensBy Denise Roche MP
    2 weeks ago
  • Sounds Stakeholders Seek a Sustainable Future
    It was heartening to see a large number of people who care about the Marlborough Sounds come together at the Marlborough Marine Futures’ forum in Picton on March 8. Fellow Green MP Steffan Browning, who lives in Marlborough, and I… ...
    GreensBy Eugenie Sage MP
    2 weeks ago
  • Solid Energy, who will clean up the mess?
    What can you say? This state-owned coal miner is facing some very serious problems. They haven’t run a profit in years, have required two Government bailouts, laid-off more than 700 staff and look like they need a third injection of… ...
    GreensBy Gareth Hughes MP
    3 weeks ago

Removed at the request of The Daily Blog.
Public service advertisements by The Standard

Current CO2 level in the atmosphere