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Key cheated of his rightful victory!

Written By: - Date published: 4:02 pm, May 8th, 2013 - 35 comments
Categories: humour, International, Media, Minister for International Embarrassment - Tags:

We don’t often take Key’s side here at The Standard, but I think that most of us here would agree that on this occasion John Key has been cheated out of a victory that was rightfully his:

John Key third on ‘most ridiculous world leader’ list

key-3-way-handhakePrime Minister John Key has taken out third place in BuzzFeed’s list of 15 Most Ridiculous World Leaders of All Time.

BuzzFeed placed Key in third place on the list behind Boris Johnson the Mayor of London and Mayor Stubbs the Mayor of Talkeetna, Alaska.

Key gets points for thinking that a three way handshake is somehow possible. The unusual handshake took place between All Black captain Richie McCaw and International Rugby Board chairman Bernard Lapasset at the 2011 Rugby World Cup celebrations. [Watch it here]

The glory-hogging handshake is just one small act in John Key’s circus of embarrassments. There is so much less to Key than there seems. By all rights he should have won a clear first place on the Buzzfeed list. You’ll show them next year John!

35 comments on “Key cheated of his rightful victory!”

  1. Populuxe1 1

    I think you really are underestimating how ridiculous and embarassing Boris Johnson is. He isn’t even able to hide the fact that he’s a buffoon. Key is at least able to manage a certain slickness until he cracks.

  2. Hayden 2

    How about a list?

    1: Delivering a few weak jokes on Letterman, not even making it to the couch.

    • Enough is Enough 2.1

      2. Planking

    • BLiP 2.2

      Oooh . . . what fun. I love lists.

      1: Delivering a few weak jokes on Letterman, not even making it to the couch.

      2: Planking

      3: Falling off the stage and breaking his wrist at a Chinese New Year celebration

      4: Making cannibal jokes when talking about the Tuhoe

      5: Slobbering over Liz Hurley

      6: Calling his own staff a bunch of muppets

      7: describing his wife as a Hobbit

      8: redefining a Prime Minister’s contribution to social media – http://www.listener.co.nz/commentary/the-internaut/john-keys-three-greatest-social-media-photographs/

      • felix 2.2.1

        9. Prime Mincing

      • TheContrarian 2.2.2

        “3: Falling off the stage and breaking his wrist at a Chinese New Year celebration”

        To his credit though he continued business with a broken arm, not wrist. Must of hurt like hell

        • felix

          Yeah that’s actually pretty cool. Probably didn’t hurt that much until he sobered up though.

          • TheContrarian

            Of course he was drunk. It must be true because you asserted it without evidence.

            • felix

              Of course he wasn’t drunk. He never is.

              • Colonial Viper

                Uh felix, I’m not entirely sure you realise what you did there, you asserted without any evidence that Key is never drunk…

                which according to the Contrarian means that Key must ALWAYS be drunk


              • TheContrarian

                Felix said it, I believe it, that settles it.

                Pffft, so called “evidence” and “proof” can suck my dick.

    • Enough is Enough 2.3

      3. Gangnam on the Edge

  3. infused 3

    Isn’t it funny how you remember all this? Good marketing eh.

    • One Anonymous Knucklehead 3.1

      Yep, that’s exactly what it is. Vacuous to a fault.

    • BLiP 3.2

      Well, its certainly a parade of distractions from the fact that John Key has opened the back door to the New Zealand economy for his bankster mates.

    • emergency mike 3.3

      Yeah we’ve noticed that John Key is a snakey conman because of… ‘marketing’.

      Please, no marketing team could keep up with his constant stream of brain-fades, arrogance, and above listed alarming concept of appropriate behaviour in social situations outside of backroom deals with slimy rich pricks.

    • QoT 3.4

      Ah, you’re one of those adolescent males who still thinks all attention is good attention.

      • Colonial Viper 3.4.1

        ooooohh!!! That girl actually scowled at me!!!!! I’M COOOOOOOOL

    • infused 3.5

      God I love this place 😀

  4. Blue 4

    Yet he’s still more popular than any person the left can get up their hind legs. Sad that even in the face of, in your opinion, such a terrible man, the policies of the left still fail to resonate.

    • Jackal 4.1

      I mainly put that down to a biased media rather than there being anything intrinsically wrong with the policies themselves.

      Today for instance it was revealed that 327,000 false applications were made to purchase Mighty River Power shares. This revelation has been met with very little media coverage. However yesterday it was revealed that there were 100,000 illegitimate signatures on the asset sales petition, and didn’t we hear all about it?

      John Key even said Labour and the Greens had misled the public over the petition and should accept defeat and give up on it. This despite the right wing claiming they have a mandate to sell because of the amount of interest that was registered in MRP shares outnumbering signatures gathered in a petition against privatisation.

      ‘ASSET SALES PETITION FAILS’ read the headlines, when the truth of the matter is that there’s two months to get another 16,500 legitimate signatures, and no more time left to ensure MRP receives a good price. In contrast the MSM is reporting on the MRP share price, and very little else.

      As an aside, the amount of legitimate signatures on the stop the asset sales petition is 292,000 compared to the 113,000 who ended up buying shares in MRP. 61% more people so far have signed the petition than bought shares.

      Contrast that 25% declined signatures on the petition with the almost 74% fake MRP registrations, and the subsequent amount of media coverage each issue has received… Then tell me the MSM isn’t biased?

      • Blue 4.1.1

        Yes yes it’s all about bias, that old leftie chestnut. The media world is against you. There, there. But do remember signing a petition is free, buying shares costs money. It certainly cost me. There is no return on a pointless petition that try’s to deny a democratic mandate.

        • Jackal

          Ha! It was the right wing that was claiming they had a mandate because there was apparently more interest in MRP shares than the petition. Now you’re saying that’s not the case because of the money it costs to buy shares?

          The mandate issue hasn’t been resolves despite many years of debate. However I would say this… National has the support of only 24% of New Zealanders when the asset sales will adversely affect many generations to come. Let’s see if they really do have a mandate to sell our assets by having a referendum.

          You’re wrong on another point as well blue… There is a return from the petition if it causes a referendum to be held that will assuredly confirm a large majority of New Zealand voters don’t want those assets partially privatised. The return is in the form of lower power prices… Not to mention securing government revenue to ensure that taxes don’t have to be increased to cover the shortfall.

          The return is also in the form of National looking bad if they don’t allow the democratic process of a referendum to go ahead. Be assured that any media bias that exists won’t be able to protect the right wing from the ensuing political fallout from such a stupid decision.

  5. peggity gwes 5

    ha ha John Key what a card !

  6. BrucetheMoose 6

    If George Bush Jnr was still about he would have challenged Key for third surely.

    • freedom 6.1

      Brucethe Moose, you saw it was Of All Time, right?
      Of All Time

      The Bush family may be hard drinking coke snorting thigh slapping warmongering bloodthirsty drug peddling harbingers of doom, but in the high stakes game of Ridiculous World Leader, they have nothing on John Key

  7. felix 7

    In case you don’t know, and you were thinking 3rd ain’t that bad, 2nd place winner Mayor Stubbs of Talkeetna, Alaska, is a cat.

    Just to put in in perspective.

  8. Chris 8

    To be honest I think a list with Key at number three yet without Silvio Burlusconi anywhere in the top 15 does not deserve to be taken seriously.

  9. joe90 9

    Toronto mayor Rob Ford has sizeable hate club.


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