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Labour 12% ahead in the polls!

Written By: - Date published: 10:14 am, August 2nd, 2010 - 30 comments
Categories: humour, john key - Tags: ,

As I might have commented before, I don’t get too excited about the polls. It’s all about the one and only turnout on the day that matters. However, I can’t help but being very pleased to report that Labour has leapt to a dramatic 12% lead in the opinion polls over National! It’s looking good for 2011! Bravo Phil Goff and the rest of the Labour team.

What do you mean you don’t believe me?

Look, it’s all very simple. I’m using the same methodology as John Key. Last week he laughably tried to claim that NZ was closing the wage gap with Australia, by comparing the worst point he could find during Labour’s 9 years and the best he could find for the current National government. I’m simply doing the same, comparing the worst result for National in the 9 years of opposition (21% in the 2002 election result) with Labour’s recent 33% poll showing. Result, Labour is 12% ahead!

What do you mean that methodology is a complete and utter crock? What do you mean it would get torn apart by the critics? That didn’t stop John Key trying it on, did it. Why would Nice Mr Key lie to us?

30 comments on “Labour 12% ahead in the polls!”

  1. tsmithfield 1

    Have they got polls out at the moment on the party in the most disarray?

  2. Doug 2

    You should have a poll about the future of Chris Carter in the Labour party.

    • Tigger 2.1

      I’d rather see a poll about why Richard Worth was exited from Parliament – still waiting for an explanation as to why Key dumped him…

      • Lanthanide 2.1.1

        I really wish the media had continued to ask Key why he got rid of Worth, over and over, for months, until he answered.

        • comedy

          Wasn’t it for being a serial rooter ?

          • Tigger

            Was it? If that’s a sackable offence there are others in Parliament who must immediately resign! Or was it who he rooted? Or was it fraud? Or disobedience? Or misrepresentation? I didn’t see Duncan Garner wetting his pants to get the truth on this…

          • felix

            Don’t know, comedy – Key wouldn’t say.

            Shit, he hasn’t even said for sure whether he sacked him or he resigned – I have records of him definitively emphatically saying both (as usual).

      • Cnr Joe 2.1.2

        Now Tigs, you wouldn’t want to force that nice man Mr Key to lie would you?
        With even more practise he could be able tell the electorate any old thing and we’d have to believe him…

  3. BLiP 3

    Ahhh – I’m beginning to see how they could claim ACC was broke too.

    • Draco T Bastard 3.1

      Using the wrong data in such a way as to show what you want?
      It’s part of NACTs psychopathy – The facts (sometimes referred to as “reality”) don’t show what they want them to show so they have to twist them until they do.

      • comedy 3.1.1

        “Using the wrong data in such a way as to show what you want?

        It’s part of a politicians psychopathy The facts (sometimes referred to as “reality’) don’t show what they want them to show so they have to twist them until they do.”

        There fixed the typo for you.

        • Draco T Bastard

          Yeah, you could be right – politicians of all stripes do seem to be unable to grasp the reality of our present psychopathic capitalist society. It’s destroying our world and us along with it.

  4. havoc 4

    How about a poll on what kiwis think of a 5 billion tax cut for those who already earn the top 5% of income, and whether it should be paid for by those who struggle to live a decent and fair life. Oh that’s right wealth ‘trickles down’ …well we all know exactly what is trickling down, and it ain’t that.

    • Don 4.1

      A bit like condensation running down your window if your poor the rich would never have to worry about that

  5. johnbrash 5

    R0B, you’re a very clever analyst. Keep up the fine work

  6. jbanks 6

    OMG!?! All you guys were right & aren’t seriously deluded . . . oh wait

    • Craig Glen Eden 6.1

      Arnt you the one who tried to say National did the free trade deal with China. Whose calling who deluded?

      • jbanks 6.1.1

        Yeah the new trade agreements he made last month.
        New Zealand pavilion? World Expo? Meeting Premier Wen Jiabao? Ringing any bells?
        You should really try getting out a bit.

        Oh & yeah, reality check, Labour Party 30% down 3.5%

        • Craig Glen Eden

          Oh so having a meeting is now doing the trade deal that another Government has already completed. The world expo and trade pavilion are all things set up under our trade missions they have nothing to do with some a mazing bit of skill by Key. Shit talk about disparate,
          next thing you will be telling us he bought down apartheid, your a dreamer jbanks.

          • felix

            Nah, Key has been asked about bringing down apartheid and he doesn’t remember what he thinks, it was so long ago.

          • jbanks

            The FTA was signed two years ago. These are NEW trade agreements and were not guaranteed two years ago. This progress since 2008 is all National baby.

            • loota

              Yeah lets see how well National does with the US FTA now baby

            • Pascal's bookie

              But you claimed National signed a free trade agreement with china. Which is bullshit. And once a FTA is signed, then industry specific things follow quite naturally. You’re giving them big ups for failing to fuck up. Which is probably fair enough.

              • colonelhawhaw

                What is relevant, to me, is how the party deals with the situation ……

                • Pascal's bookie

                  There seems to be an increasing anount of illiteracy in the right wing commenters these days.

                  I suspect it is tactical rather than innate, but without proof I suppose I shouldn’t just assume bad faith.

                  So I’ll have to go with the more charitable hypothesis of them just being pig ignorant arsewipes who couldn’t follow a train of thought if you stitched a tow rope to their straitjacket and chained ’em to the caboose.

      • Joshua 6.1.2

        Hahaha now Labour is trying to pass on their F-ups to National.

        Oh wait thats been going on for years hasn’t it, after 9years they are still blaming the last National Government…

  7. Santi 7

    Is the Standard the new Dim Post?

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