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Latest poll is good/bad for Labour/National/Winston

Written By: - Date published: 7:00 pm, July 23rd, 2013 - 32 comments
Categories: polls, spin - Tags:

A Mumble News poll published last night [confirms/refutes] the trend seen in recent weeks [in favour of/against] David Shearer.

This is a [great result/terrible result] for the [embattled/inspirational/total failure of a] leader, who has [faced criticism/received praise] [in the press/on the blogs] over his [decision/lack of decisive action] [in support of/opposing] [controversial/mainstream] policies.

[It clearly reflects the impact of !event / It is obvious that !event has had no impact] on people’s perceptions.

Previous polls have shown he has [gained traction/failed to gain any traction] against [the Prime Minister/the Greens/Winston Peters], and is [set to lead Labour/incapable of leading Labour] to an [historic/marginal/Pyrrhic] [victory/defeat] in 2014, in coalition with the [Greens/Mana/NZ First/ALCP].

This result just confirms everything I’ve been saying.  David Shearer is the [best man/worst man] to lead the Labour Party.  The public of New Zealand [are behind him/despise him/don’t know who he is] and he’s [putting forward great Labour policies which are capturing people’s imaginations / stumbling drunkenly from failure to failure].

Everyone who’s said that the polls show otherwise should apologise right now.  Their opinions just aren’t supported by the numbers.  It’s now clear that David Shearer [has momentum/is dead in the water], and everyone must unite behind [him/David Cunliffe/Shane Jones/Hone Harawira].

Ofcourseit’sjustonepollandit’sreallythelongtermtrendthatmatters.

32 comments on “Latest poll is good/bad for Labour/National/Winston”

  1. RedLogix 1

    [Whoopee/fck]

  2. lurgee 2

    “… he’s [putting forward great Labour policies which are capturing people’s imaginations / stumbling drunkenly from failure to failure]” should read “… he’s [putting forward great Labour policies which are capturing people’s imaginations / stumbling drunkenly from failure to failure / being continually sabotaged and undermined by self interested wreckers in caucus who won’t actually make a whit of difference no matter how much their supporters on blogs like to think otherwise]”?

    The fact the polls are dire is only a little bit Shearer’s fault. It is mostly John Key’s fault as he’s managed to avoid almost all the censure and contempt due to him; mostly because the Labour party seems intent on disembowelling itself.

    • QoT 2.1

      The fact the polls are fantastic is only a little bit the Greens’ fault. It is mostly Colin Craig’s fault as he’s managed to attract almost all the praise due to him; mostly because the Mana party seems intent on building itself up.

  3. Colonial Viper 3

    You have solid career prospects in this field, QoT.

  4. King Kong 4

    [QoT: Sorry, you don’t get to ruin my fun tonight.]

  5. George D 5

    This is why The Standard is [great/terrible].

  6. Paul 6

    And because of these good/bad results for Tweedledee/Tweedledum, we are expecting you to vote for/not vote as you can see the Tweedledee Party is likely to win.
    Now go back to sleep, New Zealand. X Factor is on and that’s something we like to see you voting on.

  7. George D 7

    This poll proves that the “man ban” [is desperately needed/places ideology ahead of success] and that [Shearer/those who proposed it] should [resign/ignore criticism].

    • QoT 7.1

      I [totally agree with this comment/think this comment is ridiculous] and further [wish to subscribe to your newsletter/can’t believe the mods allow this kind of derailing.]

  8. ianmac 8

    Brilliant I say! In just one post QoT you have covered every brand and every expert commentators livelihood is now defunct. Take that whaleoil and John Armstrong and trotter. You are all fired.
    And what is more endless carping about Leadership on the Standard is now rendered obsolete. A new dawn is upon us! Born again! Alleluia!

    • QoT 8.1

      Shit. I haven’t done myself out of a job, have I?

      • Colonial Viper 8.1.1

        You just have to set up an AI engine to automate the process, then sit back and let the Google ad royalties roll in.

  9. Rosetinted 9

    Very well put QoT. A very clear exposition of the position at this point in time or perhaps next year – confusing.

    One might ask – if it is so confusing, is it quantum politics?
    1. A theory in physics based on the principle that matter and energy have the properties of both particles and waves, created to explain the radiation of energy from a blackbody, the photoelectric effect, and the Bohr theory, and now used to account for a wide range of physical phenomena, including the existence of discrete packets of energy and matter, the uncertainty principle, and the exclusion principle.

    Or perhaps one should bring the Uncertainty principle to bear:
    Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle relates to how we affect a particle we’re attempting to measure. Learn about Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle.

    Frankly, I would posit that it is. But then perhaps chaos theory could apply.
    Chaos theory is the study of nonlinear dynamics, in which seemingly random events are actually predictable from simple deterministic equations.

    • QoT 9.1

      I’m going with 1, and the waveform collapses on election day.

      • McFlock 9.1.1

        And then you find out whether the politician killed the cat in the box.

        • Bob 9.1.1.1

          Just read the polls, if they say the politician should have killed schrodinger’s cat, then the cat shall be executed forth with, if polls say people would like the safe release of the cat, then you can expect a quick release and every political party racing to release their own policy to make sure cats never end up being put in boxes again!

          • alwyn 9.1.1.1.1

            I think that QoT is adopting Everett’s “Many worlds” interpretation of quantum mechanics.
            Everything that can happen does happen, and the universe splits at each possible point where chance says something could happen to a world where the event did happen and one where the other possibility occured..
            Thus in an infinity of possible worlds Labour is leading in the polls and, in fact has won every one of the last twenty elections.
            In an infinity of other worlds, inhabited by the contributers to this blob National won the last two elections and looks likely to win the next.
            If you aren’t happy with this world just keep in mind that in an infinity of other worlds all your dreams are coming true.
            Your commentary of course covers the universe just before it splits.

      • David H 9.1.2

        I’m going with 2 the Uncertainty principle. The uncertains will just stay home on Election day. And the thieving megalomaniacs will have 3 more years to pillage NZ.

    • Murray Olsen 9.2

      I’d go for chaos, which according to conventional wisdom, makes it all classical. Quantum mechanics is usually agreed to be linear. The problem is that we don’t know the equations, nor the initial conditions.

  10. keith ross 10

    great article, the sad thing is that the caucus that support/don’t support the idiot /brilliant leader still get their great pay and perks no matter what. They don’t give a toss, which to me is one of the main problems with the party/fizzer.

  11. Santi 11

    Very witty and truthful. Congratulations.

  12. Matthew Hooton 12

    The DimPost will be worried about the competition!
    And the script will be very useful over the next 16 months …

    • QoT 12.1

      Well there’s more than enough room for a few satirists in the blogosphere, Matthew. And all of that room is taken up by the Civilian.

    • felix 12.2

      “the script will be very useful over the next 16 months”

      :roll:

    • lurgee 12.3

      Hooton LIES! As ALWAYS! The ‘DimPost’ will not be worried! Hooton IS the DimPost and is promoting it here in violation of RULES! And the ‘Script’ will NOT be useful. And Hooton wrote it and is promoting IT HERE in violation OF site rules! And HOOTON is shamelessly promoting the concept of MONTHS. Tell me, Matthew, are you in anyway involved in months? Do you have any connection, involvement or interest in the calendar or the passage of time?

    • David H 12.4

      Hootens out of a Job. I am sure QOT can adapt it for right wing horse shit.

      • QoT 12.4.1

        I don’t know, David, there’s this really fine line to walk when you’re parodying Matthew. You have to sound like you’re trying to sound really sincere, and almost like you believe your own bullshit, but with the ever-so-slight giveaways that you’re completely insincere.

  13. Tracey 13

    Fabulous. Clever. Witty. Kudos to you QoT

  14. Faux news does it well.

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