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New heights of childishness

Written By: - Date published: 7:25 am, November 8th, 2012 - 33 comments
Categories: Minister for International Embarrassment - Tags:

Yesterday, Key denied calling David Beckham “thick as batshit”. Specifically, he denied using the word ‘batshit’. While it’s enlightening to see Key remembers quips to schoolgirls better than he does briefings from his spies, couldn’t he just have manned up and told us exactly what insult he did use against the football star who was nice enough to spend them with his kid? Oh, and then do the adult thing and apologise.

33 comments on “New heights of childishness”

  1. mike e 1

    Batshit is runny as shonkeys mouth.
    Maybe its his vampire capitalist background!

  2. Tom Gould 2

    Slippery John, up to his old tricks again. Seems he can now recall that he can recall what he said, verbatum.

  3. Jackal 3

    What he actually said was David Beckham is “ash fick ash bashit”. See! All fixed now.

  4. vto 4

    Good to see “Planet Key” catching on as in the cartoon..

    So what word did John Key use to enhance his “thick” description?

    Thick as catshit?
    Thick as batnuts?
    Thick as my bat cave?
    Thick as rat shit?
    Thick as bullshit?
    Thick as a plank?
    Thick as two planks?
    Thick as three planks?
    Maybe just thick?

    Someone should ask him. I am sure that being the nice genuine friendly laugh-a-minute joking kinda guy he is, and that he had no hesitation in telling the schoolgirls anyway, he will have no problem in telling everybody.. surely.. I mean, you know, it was just a light-hearted throw-away line.. so what’s the problem, ay John? So tell us.

    I suppose someone could ask the schoolgirls too..

    • weka 4.1

      “Someone should ask him.”
       
      After Key stated ‘categorically’ in Parliament yesterday that he didn’t use the phrase, Peters asked what he actually said at the high school. The speaker refused the question.

      • Tony Webb 4.1.1

        He said “thick as pigshit”.

        Even John Key knows that the batshit phrase it “Batshit Crazy”.

        • mike e 4.1.1.1

          Tony that most likely what mumble mouth said but he thought pigs can fly!
          Given this school is full of farmers daughters that would not offend many of them!

  5. kea 5

    I have a problem. It is not that I disagree with you guys .. although Key’s PR and legal team is trying to extract him from the mire while furiously muddying the waters .. but that when I see such astounding unanimity I keep thinking of a lynch mob.

    It would not be a good look to get a writ for defamation from Beckham’s legal team. It may still happen, as Key’s curt statement this morning suggests.

    Put yourself in the seat of the National Party strategos, err .. strategist.

    Key has been their prime electoral assett with his youthful bravado and goofy Reaganesque charm hiding .. I’m not sure what.

    Ask any stand-up comedian. The gag will only work for so long. At some point the crowd will walk away.

    But someone needs to keep this waka afloat.

    • vto 5.1

      John Key has no effect on the floatability of our waka.

    • gobsmacked 5.2

      Why are you thinking of a “lynch-mob”, Kea?

      If 80% of the voters support one party, we can start worrying about “astounding unanimity”. That’s hardly the case in NZ now.

      If you mean that almost everybody says John Key was stupid to say what he said, and/or deny it, then yes, almost everybody is right.

  6. One Tāne Huna 6

    What he actually said was “…thick as thieves with Posh”.

    The problem is that when our Prime Minister mumblefucks the above phrase it sounds to everyone else like he said “batshit”.

    • Rodel 6.1

      OTH Ha ! Well said.

      I await our PM’s comments on next week’s visit by a well known UK celebrity and his ‘wife’. Christopher Hitchen’s references to jug ears and horses are old hat.

      He should ask his kids for fresh, witty, adolescent expressions that will win friends and influence people, but won’t endanger his knighthood.

  7. Blue 7

    What a dick. The time to deny saying it was nearly a week ago when he was first accused of saying it. Trying to pretend he didn’t say it now is just lame.

    A quick recap of Johnny’s defences:

    I’m not going to respond to what some journalist thinks they heard me say
    It was a private conversation
    He’s made more money than me so he must be smart
    I did not say that (referring to batshit) (but refusing to rule out that he did use a swearword)
    Becks would be really flattered if he heard the rest of the conversation (as if Becks cares…)
    No, I won’t repeat what I actually did say

    What sort of loser flails around for a week gathering bad press before they open their mouth and dig a deeper hole for themselves?

    Looks like he just doesn’t give a damn anymore.

  8. Dr Terry 8

    Did Radio NZ not record the speech? In future absolutely every thing he says and does MUST be recorded on radio or videotape. Otherwise he is allowed over and again to lie and slide out from under.

    • Rosie 8.1

      Maybe one of the girls had their cell phone on ‘record’. Maybe Keys men took a few days to check this out, then confiscate the phone(s) containing the evidence, hence the lag before Key finally denied he said it? Or then, maybe they learnt from cuppa incident and keys men swept the room for devices prior to allowing him to speak with members of the public, or with anyone in a public space. Maybe his minders should tape his mouth shut.

      I’m just waiting for someone to publish a comedy booklet of Keyisms. Maybe that could be a project for http://www.lolnats.co.nz Great stocking filler for your RW or nat voting friends and family at xmas.

      • weka 8.1.1

        The five day gap between the statement being made and Key for the first time categorically denying he made the statement is certainly suspicious. Almost like someone needed time to make sure there were no recordings (or to deal with any recordings that existed).

        • Rosie 8.1.1.1

          Hi Weka. I was half joking when I posted that comment. Half joking because the idea seemed so absurd and somewhat desparate that there would be a check for recording devices and subsequent evidence, after the fact. However, we can only guess at why there was such a delay in coming out with a denial. In the case of the “gay red shirt” he had to front up as it was on the radio where as in the “batshit” case there may have been uncertainty around the statement being on record. Certianly is suspicious though, I agree.

  9. Uturn 9

    The reported quote is:

    “Beckham is handsome and a really nice guy to spend that long with my son, but is also “thick as batshit” “.

    What he really said was,

    “Beckham is handsome and a really nice guy to spend that long with my son, but is also quick at hat tricks.”

    It makes perfect sense. The audience were teenage girls, and Key, presumably being a hetro guy, thought they would like mention of Beckham’s appearance. Cunningly deducing there were no feminists in his audience and since looks aren’t everything to a girl on the pull, he made careful note that Beckham was also nice. Then he implies that spending time with kids slows you down, and being slow is not good, especially if you’re a soccer player on the field. Other people may get a goal while you dawdle about. So Key was careful to add, noticing the sight grimace of his soccer-mad audience, that Beckham was also “quick” at hat-tricks. Of course this is a joke that only soccer connoisseurs would appreciate. Beckham has never scored a hat trick, but in 2002 he was denounced as pulling a “hat trick” when he wore a hat to a press conference made by a rival brand to England’s official kit supplier. With this insider joke, Key actually endorsed the business nous, bob-each-way, rascally individualistic nature of Beckham.

    I don’t know how anyone could have missed this. Key is smarter than we gave him credit for and his sense of humour reaches deep into the heart of school girls and both the common and elite sportsman. If he must apologise for anything, it is only for being too damn accomodating by taking an interest in sports he doesn’t even like.

  10. ianmac 10

    http://youtu.be/RiCfbln84x8
    Thanks to Brian Edwards he is pointing to a clip by Greg Goodyer (Key). Note the very last few seconds.
    Hope it is the right clip.

  11. Fortran 11

    Boring – can nothing of importance be put forward ?
    Is this the best that this blog can do?

  12. burt 12

    A PM apologise…. lol….

  13. aerobubble 13

    Hansard 6th Nov.
    Kevin Hague: Does he agree that standard economic theory suggests that profit-maximising firms will always prioritise profitability over safety, unless the Government, as regulator, ensures the safety of workers?

    Rt Hon JOHN KEY: I think that is a ridiculous statement. That is saying that a company is prepared to risk the deaths of its employees and the reputation of the company for the sole purpose of making money, and even from the most hardened socialist I find that something difficult to believe. In the case of the Pike River mine, let us argue just for a moment that the Pike River Coal company was halfway through its mining operations, and was a successful operation that was operating well. An explosion of the magnitude that took place back in 2010 would have then completely and utterly collapsed that company. That would have made no economic sense to anyone.

    #
    Key was clear in his defense of business executives,
    he does not believe any executive intentional loses
    money and cost workers their lives. Fraud, Greed, Incompetence,
    has never been ever discovered in any company boardroom.

    Of course the same day his minister massively
    decreased her productivity, keeping her income
    stagnant by dropping off a ministry portfolio,
    so she had less work and so ‘was’ making a statement
    about her feelings over the death of 29 on ‘her watch’.

    Key is clouded by the hogwash of neo-liberalism, they take
    the positive result of their policies, then turn that into an
    assumption, from which to push impractical and counter-productive
    policies that harm the positive outcome.

    Take the tax payer who recently argued that bludgers had no right
    to stay in their home, in their communities, being that the goal of
    social housing is to provide social cohesion. Get it. The assumption
    under pinning social welfare is to provide everyone the safety that
    is provided those in work, in order to protect those in work from
    the detrimental effects of poverty, crime, disease, civic unrest, that
    would over run the ability of society to provide security to those in
    work, who thanks to neo-liberalism, thoughtless reiterate the
    self-destruction that maintains their own social security.

    Very proud of the ancestors who stood up to fascism,
    we should be vigilent that fascists do not swap out
    democracy and replace government with rule of rightwing
    commerisars. National MP was rightly angered for the obvious connection
    his government and its ChCh putsch.

    But hell! when we live in a nation that is exporting its skilled young, is
    it any wonder National Radio are running quotes from benefit bashers
    as reasonable positions of the raging right-wing social fascism systemic
    and implicit to neo-liberalism.

    Digitial rollout designed to provide rentee seekers
    incomes streams by turning a commodity into a service.
    Again backwards, neo-liberal thinking, digital rollout will eventually
    provides rent seekers with income streams, but in
    order to create competition front loading winners
    never works. Small business are hurting, they’d like
    to use skype not have to get a landline bundle, whereas
    big business has the choice. Key government is harming small
    business by forcing landlines on homeowners.

  14. fisiani 14

    How do you convince 27 Leftists to waste hours of time and effort on a trivial and pointless cul-de-sac that fails to score a single point. See above.
    I must write to John Key and ask him to make several more comments that provoke hours of faux outrage

    • Colonial Viper 14.1

      I must write to John Key and ask him to make several more comments that provoke hours of faux outrage

      Don’t waste your time, Key doesn’t need an excuse to make dickhead comments.

    • infused 14.2

      Pretty much. Yet Labour can’t work out why they are not getting traction.

  15. Chris 15

    Key,adult.apologise!!!!All in the same sentence! Ha ha ha.

  16. Chris 16

    I was waiting for lockwood smith to give him the answer to give when Winnie was asking the question. (Like he did with parata)However he did manage to stall the questioning.He is just a key enabler. No wonder the sub species in blue are so complacent.

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  • Access to gender reassignment surgery essential
    I was frankly disgusted to hear the Minister for Health say that funding gender reassignment surgeries is a “nutty idea”. A recent study found that in New Zealand 1% of young people identified themselves as transgender, and 3% were unsure… ...
    GreensBy Jan Logie MP
    3 days ago
  • Global milk prices now lowest in 6 years
    The latest fall in the global dairy price has brought it to the lowest level in six years and shows there must be meaningful action in tomorrow’s Budget to diversify the economy, says Labour’s Finance spokesperson Grant Robertson. “Dairy prices… ...
    3 days ago
  • Big risks as CYF checks stopped
    Revelations that Child, Youth and Family is no longer assisting home-based early childhood educators by vetting potential employees should set alarm bells ringing, Labour Children’s spokesperson Jacinda Ardern says. “Doing away with an extra mechanism for checking potential new employees… ...
    4 days ago
  • Housing crisis about real people not numbers
    The Government’s continued failure to tackle the housing crisis is seeing thousands of vulnerable Kiwis being kept off social housing waiting lists, while others, who are on the list, are being forced to live in cars and garages, says Labour’s… ...
    4 days ago
  • Housing crisis about real people not numbers
    The Government’s continued failure to tackle the housing crisis is seeing thousands of vulnerable Kiwis being kept off social housing waiting lists, while others, who are on the list, are being forced to live in cars and garages, says Labour’s… ...
    4 days ago
  • State of origin
    Kiwis are increasingly concerned about the food they give their families. New Zealand consumers have the right to know where their food has come from, particularly when it involves animals, and should be able to expect our Government to label… ...
    GreensBy Steffan Browning MP
    4 days ago
  • Relationships Aotearoa
    It is disturbing that Relationships Aotearoa, a voluntary organisation set up in 1949 to help couples struggling with their relationships following the upheavals of World War II, may be forced to close, says Acting Spokesperson for the Voluntary and Community… ...
    4 days ago
  • An economy that is just working for some is an economy that is not working
    The National Party presents itself as a great manager of the economy, but if the economy is only working for some we really need to question that assertion. Alongside the perpetually elusive surplus, the levels of risk in our economy are… ...
    GreensBy Jan Logie MP
    4 days ago
  • An economy that is just working for some is an economy that is not working
    The National Party presents itself as a great manager of the economy, but if the economy is only working for some we really need to question that assertion. Alongside the perpetually elusive surplus, the levels of risk in our economy are… ...
    GreensBy Jan Logie MP
    4 days ago
  • House prices to a crack $1 million in 17 months
    The average Auckland home is on track to cost $1 million in 17 months’ time if nothing substantial is done to rein in soaring price rises, Labour’s Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford says. “Auckland’s house prices have skyrocketed 63 per cent… ...
    4 days ago
  • Vital support services can’t be left in lurch
    The National Government has big questions to answer about how a provider of services to thousands of vulnerable New Zealanders is set to fold, Labour’s Finance spokesperson Grant Robertson says. Relationships Aotearoa which provides support and counselling to families, individuals… ...
    5 days ago
  • Treasury and IRD on a capital gains tax
    Both the Treasury and IRD have been advising the National Government on the benefits of a capital gains tax. Documents released to the Green Party under an Official Information Act request show that John Key has been selective with the… ...
    GreensBy Russel Norman MP
    5 days ago
  • Charity legislation needs review
    It is unacceptable that the big corporate based charities claim  millions in annual income tax exemptions, while small community based and operated non-profit organisations  struggle to gain official charity status, Labour’s acting spokesperson for the Voluntary and Community Sector Louisa… ...
    5 days ago
  • John’s panic-Key response to housing crisis
    John Key needs to tell New Zealanders what caused his sudden change of heart that led to the Government’s scrambled and last-minute housing measures, Opposition Leader Andrew Little says. “The Prime Minister’s sudden rush of blood to his head followed… ...
    5 days ago
  • Keep our Assets Christchurch Campaign: An update
    I recently presented my submission to keep Christchurch Council assets at the Christchurch City Council’s public hearings on its 10 year plan on 13 May. The hearings are live-streamed and recorded so you can watch them on www.ccc.govt.nz. The Council’s… ...
    GreensBy Eugenie Sage MP
    5 days ago
  • John Key finally admits there’s a housing crisis
    John Key’s weak measures to rein in the astronomical profits property speculators are making are an admission – finally – that there is a housing crisis, Labour Leader Andrew Little says. “But yet again National is tinkering with the housing… ...
    6 days ago
  • Government stifles voices in CYFs review
    The Government’s exclusion of the Māori Women’s Welfare League in a panel on the future of CYFs is a cynical ploy to stifle views, says Labour’s Māori Development Spokesperson Nanaia Mahuta. “It's unbelievable that a significant review on the future… ...
    1 week ago
  • Speech to the Otago Chamber of Commerce
    Thank you very much for the opportunity to be here today. It’s a pleasure as always to be back in the town that raised me. Growing up in St Kilda meant that there was one thing that was a big… ...
    1 week ago
  • Key can’t just be Prime Minister for Parnell
    John Key must show New Zealanders in next week’s Budget that he is more than the Prime Minister for Parnell, and is also the Prime Minister for Pine Hill, Putararu and Palmerston North, Labour’s Finance spokesperson Grant Robertson says. In… ...
    1 week ago
  • Stop the conversions
    This week, some Waikato locals took me and intrepid photographer Amanda Rogers on a tour of some  lakes and waterways in their region, and up to the massive dairy conversions in the upper catchment of the Waikato River. It… ...
    GreensBy Catherine Delahunty MP
    1 week ago
  • More regional jobs go in Corrections reshape
    News that 194 Corrections staff are to lose their jobs will have ramifications not only for them and their families but for the wider community, Labour’s Corrections spokesperson Kelvin Davis says. Prison units at Waikeria, Tongariro and Rimutaka face closure… ...
    1 week ago
  • Government’s climate meetings off to a bumpy start
    On Wednesday, I attended a hui and an evening meeting that the Government had organised in Nelson as part of its climate change consultation tour, to support the Nelson community telling the Government to take meaningful action on climate change.… ...
    GreensBy Steffan Browning MP
    1 week ago
  • Taxpayers the only ones left feeling blue
    Ministry of Social Development bosses could have saved themselves thousands of dollars in consultants’ fees by providing staff with rose-tinted spectacles, Labour’s State Services spokesperson Kris Faafoi says. A report out today reveals the Ministry is spending over half a… ...
    1 week ago
  • Why are the regions still facing restrictions?
    Labour's Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford is questioning why the regions should continue to be saddled with LVR lending restrictions announced by the Reserve Bank today. “Labour has been calling for the regions to be exempted from LVRs for the best… ...
    1 week ago
  • The high costs of weak environmental regulation
    Te Waihora/Lake Ellesmere is described on the Department of Conservation website as “Canterbury’s largest and New Zealand’s fifth largest [lake], and an internationally important wildlife area.” But the lake is also polluted by nutrients leaching from farms in the catchment.… ...
    GreensBy Eugenie Sage MP
    1 week ago
  • Submissions to Wellington City Council on their Gambling Venues Policy
    Every three years Councils across the country are required to check that their gambling venue policies are still fit for purpose and they can choose to consult on their policy if they are thinking of making changes. Councils don’t have… ...
    GreensBy Denise Roche MP
    1 week ago
  • Reserve Bank action shows Govt out of touch and out of ideas
    The Reserve Bank’s unprecedented measures today show it understands the serious risks of the overheating housing market – in complete contrast to John Key’s refusal to acknowledge the crisis, Labour’s Finance spokesperson Grant Robertson says. “The Bank is right to… ...
    1 week ago
  • Send us your snaps: 25 Years of the Green Party
    This year we've hit a milestone. We're turning 25.To help celebrate a quarter of a century, please send us your photos from the last 25 years of the Green Party Aotearoa New Zealand! Note: Photos must be jpg, gif or… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • 25 Years of the Green Party
    This year the Green Party sends 25. To help us celebrate a quarter of a century please send us you photos of 25 years of the Green Party!Photos must be jpg,gif or png and smaller than 2MB. If you are… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Bay growth plan too little too late
    Today’s Bay of Plenty growth study from MBIE is another example of Government spin - lots of talk but little action, says Labour’s Regional Development spokesperson David Cunliffe.  “This is a region that desperately needs to develop the downstream processing… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Government bows to ACC pressure
     The Government has finally buckled to pressure from Labour and the New Zealand public in making a half billion dollar cut to ACC levies, but the full benefits are two years away,” says Opposition Leader Andrew Little.  “$500 million over… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • False figures cloud Auckland transport facts
    The Prime Minister should apologise and issue a correction after both he and Transport Minister Simon Bridges have been caught out misrepresenting facts on Auckland’s transport spending, Labour’s Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford says. "Both John Key and Simon Bridges have… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Govt books confirm National can’t post surplus
    The last publication of the Government’s books before the budget shows National will break its promise of seven years and two election campaigns and fail to get the books in order, says Labour’s Finance Spokesperson Grant Robertson. “The Government is… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • US state joins NZ with GE food labelling
    New Zealand has a similar law making the labelling of many GE foods compulsory, but the Government seems to let it slide.  Because the government has not monitored or enforced our GE food labelling laws since 2003, it seems the… ...
    GreensBy Steffan Browning MP
    2 weeks ago
  • Labour Pays Tribute to Erima Henare
    “E ua e te ua tata rahi ana, Ko te hua i te kamo taheke i runga raa. No reira e te rangatira Erima takoto mai I roto I te ringa o Ihowa o nga Mano e moe e.” ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Labour Pays Tribute to Erima Henare
    “E ua e te ua tata rahi ana, Ko te hua i te kamo taheke i runga raa. No reira e te rangatira Erima takoto mai I roto I te ringa o Ihowa o nga Mano e moe e.” ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Labour Pays Tribute to Erima Henare
    “E ua e te ua tata rahi ana, Ko te hua i te kamo taheke i runga raa. No reira e te rangatira Erima takoto mai I roto I te ringa o Ihowa o nga Mano e moe e.” ...
    2 weeks ago

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