web analytics
The Standard

Our boat is faster than theirs

Written By: - Date published: 2:32 pm, October 3rd, 2013 - 27 comments
Categories: activism, greens, humour, labour, national, Politics, polls, Satire - Tags: , , ,

In the wake of the astounding victory of the NZ team in San Diego, Scott at Imperator Fish offers these words of sage advice. He has kindly given us permission to syndicate posts from his blog – the original of this post is here.

keep-calm-and-do-nothingThe latest two political polls have revealed that Labour and the Greens will win the next election.

I’m always a bit cautious about political polls, but two polls in a row? That’s a major trend.

And even if the next Roy Morgan poll (which must be due out soon) shows a dip in Labour’s fortunes, two polls out of three is still a trend.

But that’s not what the Roy Morgan poll will say. Labour down? Won’t happen. Can’t you feel it? The electricity? The excitement? These two polls confirm what everyone I know has been telling me. Pretty much every Labour and Green person I’ve spoken to has told me they’ve had it with John Key.

In the coming weeks and months we’ll be told by our leaders on the left that there’s still much work to be done, that polls go up and down, and that we can’t afford to get ahead of ourselves.

Well they’re wrong, of course. It’s in the bag. I’m so confident that we’ve got it won that I can’t really see any more point in offering my services to the Labour Party, at least until after the election. Why waste all that energy when there’s no way we can blow it from here? They won’t even need people like me to stick flyers in letterboxes, and I really can’t see the party bothering to put up any hoardings during the election campaign. I may even urge people to vote National, just to give the suckers a fighting chance. The poor bastards.

It’s a wonderful feeling, knowing that the only question now remaining about the next election is how much we’ll win it by.

If you had asked me a couple of weeks ago what our chances were I would have been pessimistic. I would have pointed to the Labour Party’s astonishing ability to turn victory into defeat, and I would have scoffed at any prediction of Labour victory in 2014.

But not now. This is different. All the stars are in alignment. Everyone now loves Labour. They can do no wrong. The Labour caucus is filled with lovely and remarkable people. I may even learn to love Clayton Cosgrove. Come on, Clayton, give us a big hug! Aw, you too, Trev!

So please, party activists, stop wasting your energy. It’s won. No, really. Look, if you will insist on changing the world then why not rescue some distressed animals, or donate blood? It’s won, and you’re starting now to look like a bit of a try-hard. Don’t you think all your earnest efforts are getting a bit embarrassing?

27 comments on “Our boat is faster than theirs”

  1. Dr Terry 1

    There is truth in the saying that trying too hard evokes negative outcomes. Each person does well to be true to his or her inner Being in the Now. Results will come.

  2. I saw Sue Moroney in the supermarket the other night, and when I congratulated her on her voting for DC and resultant promotion, she said thanks, and that the whole party has been lifted and re-energised by his victory.

    I can’t help but sense NZ is feeling it a bit too.

    Lots to work on, and I’m sure nobody will be complacent about it, but it is a trend and looking good.

  3. I often see Anne Tolley in the supermarket but I avoid making eye contact as I am afraid I might elicit a smile from her (a vote for me smile). Sorry National, but I am Labour to the bone. And great news regarding the above article and the new poll.

    • fender 3.1

      Even if she’s pushing one I’ll believe she’s off her Trolley.

      Don’t make eye contact unless you want to be turned to stone.

      • The Al1en 3.1.1

        Homer, not Simpson wrote

        “Lest for my daring Persephone the dread,
        From Hades should send up an awful monster’s grisly head.”

  4. Ramsay 4

    Careful – a lot of people here have got Pauline Kael syndrome (finding it hard to believe Nixon had won in ’72, as no one she knew had voted for him).

    Of course there were plenty of people who said the same thing in 2011…

  5. Anne 5

    Satire, properly done, is a good way to send a message. Scott Yorke is a good satirist.

    We should have compassion for poor Matty Hoots after his tragic melt down on RNZ. You see, every now and then a pollie comes along who’s got what it takes and Labour has found such a pollie. Look what happened to the members and affiliates. One speech and one flash of that cheeky Cunliffe smile and most were goners. Now Matty boy knows there’s every chance that will be repeated when the voters at large get to see Cunliffe in operation. Hence his big brain fart and there’s lots more coming…

    Edit: every time I wish to comment I have to fill in my details. Getting to be a nuisance.

    • GregJ 5.1

      Anne – I always feel sorry for Little Hoot! 😈

      • Hami Shearlie 5.1.1

        And to the question that many may ask , “Will You Ever Grow Up Little Hoot” – I guess the answer would have to be a big fat “NO”!

    • GregJ 5.2

      Edit: every time I wish to comment I have to fill in my details. Getting to be a nuisance.

      I had the same thing on my first comment – seems OK now though.

  6. stuart 6

    there is plenty to do unregistered voters to sign up extra hording sites general intelligence gathiering strategic campaigns its all hands onboard and starts sooner with the referendom kicking it all off

    • GregJ 6.1

      Yep – and add in policy development, candidate selection, list ranking, Conference, Christchurch East by-election. There is a tremendous amount to be done to organise & build toward the General Election (& beyond) – much of which should have been done over the last few years and now has to be squeezed into 12-14 months.

  7. Tracey 7

    Is it true that clare curran is resigning to join hootens consultancy?

    • Steve Bradley 7.1

      Maybe it’s just me, but I believe in democracy and I can’t view the General Election as a horse race or sporting contest, to be won or lost. I won’t prejudge how the electors will cast their ballot as far away as 12 months from now. If Labour has the policies which resonate with most electors real needs, puts them out there in time for people to recognise their worth, and helps supporters to organise a grand turn-out, there will be a popular effect. That swelling wave of voting citizens, propelled by hope, will deliver a Parliament favourable for social progress in these islands. Meanwhile there’s plenty of campaigning to go on with.
      Cheers.

  8. Sable 8

    I’ll be the first to celebrate if the vile little dictator gets toppled but lets wait and see. Meantime DONT BE COMPLACENT!!!

    • Ramsay 8.1

      So how is a New Zealand Prime Minister a dictator?

      • Sable 8.1.1

        Never heard of of the “elected dictatorship”. Why do you think we voted in MMP. Futile gesture but was worth a try…

        • Ramsay 8.1.1.1

          Ok. I was labouring under the impression that the last election was carried out using MMP.

          • McFlock 8.1.1.1.1

            Hence the use of the words “futile gesture”.

            “Elected dictatorship” refers to the fact that, regardless of the opinions of the citizenry, the elected government can legalise warrantless interception of citizens’ communications, remove the defendant’s intent or even the defendant’s actual actions from the consideration of guilt for certain “crimes” against foreign conglomerates, and sell assets regardless of the citizenry’s wishes as clearly expressed via referendum.

  9. Bill 9

    The managerial swaparoo of the past 30 years has (set rhinocrates on them if it’s not the case) gone now. That’s the difference. And in the twelve months from now to then, that’s all that needs to be highlighted. So yeah…it’s in the bag.

  10. Winifred Kiddle 10

    Is this comment for real? labour are nowhere near out of the woods and the stunt with the 23 year old wanting to buy a $500,000 house ? Not sure if that came across very well. What about those about to get their homes bulldozed, what about those with no homes? Get back to the grass roots I say and leave the centre to worry about their $500,000 purchases. It’s not as if they don’t know who they will vote for and they will vote

    • Sable 10.1

      +1 dead right

    • Bill 10.2

      Yup. The comment is ‘for real’. (excuse me if your comment was in reference to the satirical post and not my comment) There has been, I believe, a fundamental shift in NZs social democratic political environment. And as more people become aware of that, they will re-engage and make demands on the back of that change. So sure, it requires work to get the word out. But that’s somewhat easier than convincing people to be enthusiastic over some change the managerial style to be applied to the formally unquestioned neo-liberal consensus.

      As for the $500 000 house buyer….so what? Why can’t such a person be brought ‘on board’?

      Maybe you believe politics have to be about ‘either/or’ rather than about ‘this/and’?

  11. Win Kiddle 11

    Sure the $500,000 purchaser should be brought on board but
    i need to be brought on board as well. Would have been great to see public acknowledgement of what is happening with the proposed Auckland motorway. Haven’t seen that yet. Labour has the ability to make a broad sweep – centre to left. Shouldn’t get caught up in one place. The housing crisis is in part a crisis for those who want to buy homes in the more ‘acceptable’ suburbs. I am watching and waiting to see who was lying and who was telling the truth. It should be clear soon.

  12. Win Kiddle 12

    Bill I am not against encouraging a 23 year who is able to afford a $500,000 investment property to vote for Labour. While in the same city the city council is wanting to bulldoze people’s houses to make way for a motorway. It may not be high finance and only focused on people who do not have the means to purchase any house, there was still the opportunity or Labour show support for these people. They too could also be new Labour voters. No one’s convincing me to return to the fold – yet – but I am watching and waiting for real evidence of Labour’s intentions.

  13. We bring you great customer service to meet all your cheap cabin boats needs. Our customers will surely enjoy the experience they can have with us. Allmand Boats is a new boat and factory direct provider. You can have the cheap cabin boats that you’re looking for. We provide you with a variety of boat models, from sail outboards, to cabin cruisers, cheap cabin boats, affordable cabin boats, and US made Cabin Cruiser, we have it all here for you. You can ask for information about our prices and models for sale. Be assured of our attentiveness to our dear cheap cabin boats customers. For more information please visit here: http://www.newaffordableboats.com

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • Bullying contributes to Auckland being stripped of ICU training
    Complaints of bullying and harassment by supervisors which have contributed to Auckland’s critical care department losing its training accreditation are further evidence of the appalling culture at executive level, Labour’s Health spokesperson Annette King says. “The department had its accreditation… ...
    9 hours ago
  • Broadband failure sucks up more cash
    The Commerce Committee has blocked an inquiry into the $300 million rural broadband initiative (RBI) despite mounting evidence it’s a massive policy failure and waste of money, says Labour’s ICT spokesperson Clare Curran. “The Government is about to spend an… ...
    1 day ago
  • TISA – Another secret trade deal you may never have heard of
      This post first appeared on The Daily Blog You’ve probably heard of the Trans-Pacific Partnership Agreement (TPPA) by now and the widespread concerns around it but what about the Trade in Services Agreement (TISA) also being currently negotiated by… ...
    GreensBy Gareth Hughes MP
    1 day ago
  • Health chickens coming home to roost as Dunedin loses right to train doctor...
    News today that Dunedin Hospital has lost orthopaedic training accreditation is a major blow and proves the Government’s prevarication is having devastating consequences, Labour’s Health spokesperson Annette King says. “Losing orthopaedic advanced training is serious. There is a knock on… ...
    2 days ago
  • $74,000 quarterly rise shows crisis out of control
    New figures out today showing Auckland house prices have spiked by a massive $74,000 in the past quarter is further evidence the city’s housing crisis has spiralled out of control, Labour’s “In spite of constant announcements and photo opportunities from… ...
    2 days ago
  • Democracy for Nauru now
    Murray McCully must send the strongest possible message to the Nauruan Government that New Zealand does not condone its actions given the disturbing developments there, Labour’s Foreign Affairs spokesperson David Shearer says. “Right now we are seeing Nauru stripped of… ...
    2 days ago
  • Recovery needs more than a rebrand
    Today’s announcement of new governance arrangements for Canterbury seems to be nothing more than a fresh coat of paint on the same old approach, says Labour’s Canterbury Earthquake Recovery spokesperson Ruth Dyson. “The Canterbury Recovery has been too slow, with… ...
    2 days ago
  • Copper decision a victory for status quo, not Kiwi households
    New Zealanders hoping for cheaper copper broadband will be disappointed by the Commerce Commission’s latest decision in the long running saga to determine the price of copper, Labour’s ICT spokesperson Clare Curran says. “In an apparent attempt to appease everyone,… ...
    2 days ago
  • It’s time for hard decisions in the Bay
     The Ruataniwha dam project is turning into a huge white elephant as the economics fail to stack up, says Labour’s Water spokesperson Meka Whaitiri.  “Ruataniwha simply doesn’t make economic sense when you look at other major irrigation schemes around the… ...
    2 days ago
  • More testing won’t lift student achievement
    Hekia Parata’s latest plan to subject school students to even more testing and assessment won’t do anything to lift the educational achievement of the kids who are struggling, Labour’s Education spokesperson Chris Hipkins says. “New Zealand school students are already… ...
    2 days ago
  • Bad week for NZ economy gets worse
    The bad news for the New Zealand economy got worse this morning with the 8th successive drop in dairy prices at this morning’s global dairy auction, again exposing the absence of any Plan B from the National Government, Labour’s Finance… ...
    2 days ago
  • System failing to protect women and children from family violence
    Last week we called for mandatory child safety investigations in domestic violence cases. This came after the coronial inquiry into the deaths of Bradley and Ellen Livingstone and the verdict in the trial of the west Auckland boys charged with… ...
    GreensBy Jan Logie MP
    3 days ago
  • Backers banking on social bonds cash?
    The Government is refusing to say what the $29 million it has set aside for its controversial social bonds programme is for, raising suspicions it is an upfront payment to the project backers, Labour’s Health spokesperson Annette King says. A… ...
    3 days ago
  • Plastic Free July
    Today is the start of Plastic Free July. Since its inception in Perth, Western Australia four years ago, more and more people and organisations from around the world have joined the call to refuse single use plastic products. Nearly all… ...
    GreensBy Denise Roche MP
    3 days ago
  • State house sell off Bill gives extraordinary powers
    The Government is about to give Ministers extraordinary powers to take direct personal control of selling state houses, exempting Ministers from normal legal requirements and leaving the sale process wide open for corruption, Labour's Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford says. The… ...
    3 days ago
  • Cash for charter schools, mould for state schools
    At a time when state schools are struggling in old, cold, mouldy buildings and can barely make ends meet, the National Government is shovelling cash at charter schools which aren’t even spending the funding on kids’ education, Labour’s Education spokesperson… ...
    3 days ago
  • New Zealand needs a wise response to climate change
    Today in Parliament I got to hear from a group of New Zealanders who are concerned for the future of our country. Called Wise Response, the group is a broad coalition of academics, engineers, lawyers, artists, sportspeople and others who… ...
    GreensBy Russel Norman MP
    3 days ago
  • No alternative as waste scheme trashed
    Nick Smith must explain how he is going to prevent contamination of New Zealand’s ground and water with liquid and hazardous waste after scrapping the only monitoring scheme and offering no replacement, says Labour’s Environment Spokesperson Megan Woods. “From today,… ...
    3 days ago
  • Flawed system rates death traps as safe
    ACC Minister Nikki Kaye needs to come clean about what really lies behind the reclassification of 18 vehicles in her new motor vehicle registration system introduced today, Labour’s ACC spokesperson Sue Moroney says. "New Zealanders deserve the truth about the… ...
    3 days ago
  • Tiwai Smelter and 800 workers left in limbo
     Workers at Tiwai smelter and the people of Southland have once again been left in limbo over their future in the ongoing debacle over whether the plant stays open, says Labour’s Leader Andrew Little.  “It’s not good enough that after two years of… ...
    3 days ago
  • New twist in state house sell-off saga
    The Government has opened the door to buyers of state houses simply being landlords and not required to provide social services, Labour’s Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford says. The Prime Minister said at his post-Cabinet press conference buyers would not “have… ...
    3 days ago
  • Government fees will hit charities hard
    National’s decision to ignore the concerns of charities will see the voluntary sector face hundreds of thousands of dollars in new costs if the Policing (Cost Recovery) Amendment Bill passes, says Labour's Community and Voluntary Sector spokesperson Poto Williams. “National’s… ...
    4 days ago
  • Four out of ten for Simon’s Bridges
    The Transport Authority’s decision to fund only four of the 10 bridges promised in National’s shameless Northland by-election bribe is a huge embarrassment for Transport Minister Simon Bridges, Labour’s Transport spokesperson Phil Twyford says. “After one by-election poll showed they… ...
    4 days ago
  • Falling consents adding to Auckland housing woes
    Falling numbers of building consents being issued in Auckland will add to the city’s housing shortfall and fuel skyrocketing house prices, Labour’s Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford “The Productivity Commission found there was a shortfall of around 32,000 houses by the… ...
    4 days ago
  • So Mr English, do you have a plan?
    DIpping confidence about jobs, wages and shrinking exports are highlighting the lack of a plan from the government to diversify the economy and build sustainable growth, Grant Robertson  Labour’s Finance Spokesperson said. " Data released over the last week… ...
    4 days ago
  • Serious risks to tenants and assets in sell-off
    Overseas evidence shows there are serious risks around the Government's plan to sell off state houses to social housing providers, Opposition Leader Andrew Little says. “In the Netherlands – where community housing providers supply the majority of social housing –… ...
    4 days ago
  • Land of milk and money
    Kiwi families are paying over the top prices for their milk and someone is creaming off big profits, says Labour’s Consumer Affairs spokesperson David Shearer. “In 2011 the Government told us high New Zealand milk prices were a natural result… ...
    6 days ago
  • MoBIE largesse doesn’t stop with TVs and hair-straighteners
    The number of MoBIE staff earning more than $150,000 has risen 23 per cent in just a year, Labour’s Economic Development Spokesperson David Clark says. Documents obtained from the Ministry of Business, Innovation and Employment show there are now nearly… ...
    6 days ago
  • English wants to flog state houses to Aussies
    Bill English’s admission that he would sell hundreds of New Zealand’s state houses to the Australians is the latest lurch in the Government’s stumbling, half-baked housing policy, Labour’s housing spokesperson Phil Twyford says. “Bill English should face reality and admit his… ...
    1 week ago
  • Exports continue to fall as Government fails to diversify
    The Government quickly needs a plan to diversify our economy after new figures show that exports are continuing to fall due to the collapse in dairy exports, Labour's Finance Spokesperson Grant Robertson says. “Dairy exports fell 28 per cent compared… ...
    1 week ago
  • Government inaction leads to blurring of roles
    The Treasury wouldn’t have had to warn the Reserve Bank to stick to its core functions if the Government had taken prompt and substantial measures to rein in skyrocketing Auckland house prices, Labour’s Finance spokesperson Grant Robertson says. “The problems… ...
    1 week ago
  • Courthouse closures hitting regions
    The Government’s decision to shut down up to eight regional courthouses, some supposedly only temporarily for seismic reasons, looks unlikely to be reversed, Labour’s Justice spokesperson Jacinda Ardern says.“The move has hit these regions hard, but appears to be a… ...
    1 week ago
  • A Victory for Te Tiriti o Waitangi
    This week my partner, who has a number of professions, was doing an archaeological assessment for a District Council. He showed me the new rules around archaeologists which require them to demonstrate “sufficient skill and competency in relation to Māori… ...
    GreensBy Catherine Delahunty MP
    1 week ago
  • Tough bar set for Ruataniwha dam
     Today’s final decision by the Tukituki Catchment Board of Inquiry is good news for the river and the environment, says Labour’s Water spokesperson Meka Whaitiri. “Setting a strict level of dissolved nitrogen in the catchment’s waters will ensure that the… ...
    1 week ago
  • Minister for Women and National missing the mark – part two
    The Minister for Women was in front of the select committee yesterday answering questions about her plans for women. Some useful context is that we used to have a Pay and Employment Equity Unit within the then Department of Labour… ...
    GreensBy Jan Logie MP
    1 week ago
  • Lavish penthouse spend confirms culture of extravagance
    At the same time thousands of New Zealanders are being locked out of the property market, the Government is spending up on a lavish New York penthouse for its diplomats, Labour’s Foreign Affairs spokesperson David Shearer says. News that taxpayers… ...
    1 week ago
  • Māori Television exodus cause for concern
    The shock departure of yet another leading journalist from the Native Affairs team raises further concern the Board and Chief Executive are dissatisfied with the team’s editorial content, says Labour’s Māori Development spokesperson Nanaia Mahuta. “Annabelle Lee is an experienced… ...
    1 week ago
  • Million-plus car owners to pay too much ACC
    More than a million car owners will pay higher ACC motor vehicle registration than necessary from July, Labour’s ACC spokesperson Sue Moroney says. “During a select committee hearing this morning it was revealed that car owners would have been charged… ...
    1 week ago
  • Bill will restore democracy to local councils
    A new Labour Member’s Bill will restore democracy to local authorities and stop amalgamations being forced on councils. Napier MP Stuart Nash’s Local Government Act 2002 (Greater Local Democracy) Bill will be debated by Parliament after being pulled from the… ...
    1 week ago
  • Minister for Women again misses the mark – part one
    Yesterday I asked the Minister for Women about the government’s poor performance on it’s own target of appointing women to 45% of state board positions. I challenged why she’d put out a media release celebrating progress this year when the… ...
    GreensBy Jan Logie MP
    1 week ago
  • Banks enter Dragon’s Den in pitch for Government’s mental health experi...
    Overseas banks and their preferred providers were asked to pitch their ideas for bankrolling the Government’s social bonds scheme to a Dragon’s Den-style panel, Labour’s Health spokesperson Annette King says. Dragon’s Den was a reality television series where prospective ‘entrepreneurs’… ...
    1 week ago
  • Global Mode bullying won’t stop people accessing content
    It’s disappointing that strong-arm tactics from powerful media companies have meant Global Mode will not get its day in court. Today a settlement was reached terminating the Global Mode service, developed in New Zealand by ByPass Network Services and used… ...
    GreensBy Gareth Hughes MP
    1 week ago
  • More questions – why was the Former National Party President involved wit...
    Today in Parliament Murray  McCully said the reason Michelle Boag was involved in 2011 in the Saudi farm scandal was in her capacity as a member of the New Zealand Middle East Business Council. The problem with that answer is… ...
    1 week ago
  • Minister must explain Maori TV interference
    Te Ururoa Flavell must explain why he told Maori TV staff all complaints about the CEO must come to him – months before he became the Minister responsible for the broadcaster, Labour’s Broadcasting Spokesperson Clare Curran says. “Sources have told… ...
    1 week ago
  • KiwiSaver takes a hammering after the end of kick-start
    National seems hell bent on destroying New Zealand’s saving culture given today’s news that there has been a drop in new enrolments for KiwiSaver, says Labour’s Finance spokesperson Grant Robertson.  “New enrolments for the ANZ Investments KiwiSaver scheme have plunged… ...
    1 week ago
  • Straight answers needed on CYF role
    The Government needs to explain the role that Child, Youth and Family plays in cases where there is evidence that family violence was flagged as a concern, Labour’s Children’s spokesperson Jacinda Arden says. “The fact that CYF is refusing to… ...
    1 week ago
  • Prime Minister confuses his political interests with NZ’s interest
    The Prime Minister’s statement in Parliament yesterday that a Minister who paid a facilitation payment to unlock a free trade agreement would retain his confidence is an abhorrent development in the Saudi sheep scandal, Opposition leader Andrew Little says.  ...
    1 week ago
  • #raisethequota
    Last Saturday was World Refugee Day. I was privileged to spend most of my day with the amazing refugee communities in Auckland. Their stories have been inspiring and reflect the ‘can-do’ Kiwi spirit, even though they come from all different… ...
    GreensBy Denise Roche MP
    2 weeks ago
  • Dairy conversions causing more pollution than ever, report shows
    The Parliamentary Commissioner for the Environment (PCE) released two reports on freshwater quality and management last Friday. The water quality report shows that dairy conversions are hurting water quality and says that despite great efforts with fencing and planting, large… ...
    GreensBy Catherine Delahunty MP
    2 weeks ago
  • Employers want urgent action on health and safety
    Moves by National to water down health and safety reforms have been slammed by employers – the very group the Government claims is pushing for change, says Labour’s spokesperson for Labour Relations Iain Lees-Galloway. “The Employers and Manufacturers’ Association has… ...
    2 weeks ago

Public service advertisements by The Standard

Current CO2 level in the atmosphere