Our boat is faster than theirs

Written By: - Date published: 2:32 pm, October 3rd, 2013 - 27 comments
Categories: activism, greens, humour, labour, national, Politics, polls, Satire - Tags: , , ,

In the wake of the astounding victory of the NZ team in San Diego, Scott at Imperator Fish offers these words of sage advice. He has kindly given us permission to syndicate posts from his blog – the original of this post is here.

keep-calm-and-do-nothingThe latest two political polls have revealed that Labour and the Greens will win the next election.

I’m always a bit cautious about political polls, but two polls in a row? That’s a major trend.

And even if the next Roy Morgan poll (which must be due out soon) shows a dip in Labour’s fortunes, two polls out of three is still a trend.

But that’s not what the Roy Morgan poll will say. Labour down? Won’t happen. Can’t you feel it? The electricity? The excitement? These two polls confirm what everyone I know has been telling me. Pretty much every Labour and Green person I’ve spoken to has told me they’ve had it with John Key.

In the coming weeks and months we’ll be told by our leaders on the left that there’s still much work to be done, that polls go up and down, and that we can’t afford to get ahead of ourselves.

Well they’re wrong, of course. It’s in the bag. I’m so confident that we’ve got it won that I can’t really see any more point in offering my services to the Labour Party, at least until after the election. Why waste all that energy when there’s no way we can blow it from here? They won’t even need people like me to stick flyers in letterboxes, and I really can’t see the party bothering to put up any hoardings during the election campaign. I may even urge people to vote National, just to give the suckers a fighting chance. The poor bastards.

It’s a wonderful feeling, knowing that the only question now remaining about the next election is how much we’ll win it by.

If you had asked me a couple of weeks ago what our chances were I would have been pessimistic. I would have pointed to the Labour Party’s astonishing ability to turn victory into defeat, and I would have scoffed at any prediction of Labour victory in 2014.

But not now. This is different. All the stars are in alignment. Everyone now loves Labour. They can do no wrong. The Labour caucus is filled with lovely and remarkable people. I may even learn to love Clayton Cosgrove. Come on, Clayton, give us a big hug! Aw, you too, Trev!

So please, party activists, stop wasting your energy. It’s won. No, really. Look, if you will insist on changing the world then why not rescue some distressed animals, or donate blood? It’s won, and you’re starting now to look like a bit of a try-hard. Don’t you think all your earnest efforts are getting a bit embarrassing?

27 comments on “Our boat is faster than theirs ”

  1. Dr Terry 1

    There is truth in the saying that trying too hard evokes negative outcomes. Each person does well to be true to his or her inner Being in the Now. Results will come.

  2. I saw Sue Moroney in the supermarket the other night, and when I congratulated her on her voting for DC and resultant promotion, she said thanks, and that the whole party has been lifted and re-energised by his victory.

    I can’t help but sense NZ is feeling it a bit too.

    Lots to work on, and I’m sure nobody will be complacent about it, but it is a trend and looking good.

  3. I often see Anne Tolley in the supermarket but I avoid making eye contact as I am afraid I might elicit a smile from her (a vote for me smile). Sorry National, but I am Labour to the bone. And great news regarding the above article and the new poll.

    • fender 3.1

      Even if she’s pushing one I’ll believe she’s off her Trolley.

      Don’t make eye contact unless you want to be turned to stone.

      • The Al1en 3.1.1

        Homer, not Simpson wrote

        “Lest for my daring Persephone the dread,
        From Hades should send up an awful monster’s grisly head.”

  4. Ramsay 4

    Careful – a lot of people here have got Pauline Kael syndrome (finding it hard to believe Nixon had won in ’72, as no one she knew had voted for him).

    Of course there were plenty of people who said the same thing in 2011…

  5. Anne 5

    Satire, properly done, is a good way to send a message. Scott Yorke is a good satirist.

    We should have compassion for poor Matty Hoots after his tragic melt down on RNZ. You see, every now and then a pollie comes along who’s got what it takes and Labour has found such a pollie. Look what happened to the members and affiliates. One speech and one flash of that cheeky Cunliffe smile and most were goners. Now Matty boy knows there’s every chance that will be repeated when the voters at large get to see Cunliffe in operation. Hence his big brain fart and there’s lots more coming…

    Edit: every time I wish to comment I have to fill in my details. Getting to be a nuisance.

    • GregJ 5.1

      Anne – I always feel sorry for Little Hoot! 😈

      • Hami Shearlie 5.1.1

        And to the question that many may ask , “Will You Ever Grow Up Little Hoot” – I guess the answer would have to be a big fat “NO”!

    • GregJ 5.2

      Edit: every time I wish to comment I have to fill in my details. Getting to be a nuisance.

      I had the same thing on my first comment – seems OK now though.

  6. stuart 6

    there is plenty to do unregistered voters to sign up extra hording sites general intelligence gathiering strategic campaigns its all hands onboard and starts sooner with the referendom kicking it all off

    • GregJ 6.1

      Yep – and add in policy development, candidate selection, list ranking, Conference, Christchurch East by-election. There is a tremendous amount to be done to organise & build toward the General Election (& beyond) – much of which should have been done over the last few years and now has to be squeezed into 12-14 months.

  7. Tracey 7

    Is it true that clare curran is resigning to join hootens consultancy?

    • Steve Bradley 7.1

      Maybe it’s just me, but I believe in democracy and I can’t view the General Election as a horse race or sporting contest, to be won or lost. I won’t prejudge how the electors will cast their ballot as far away as 12 months from now. If Labour has the policies which resonate with most electors real needs, puts them out there in time for people to recognise their worth, and helps supporters to organise a grand turn-out, there will be a popular effect. That swelling wave of voting citizens, propelled by hope, will deliver a Parliament favourable for social progress in these islands. Meanwhile there’s plenty of campaigning to go on with.
      Cheers.

  8. Sable 8

    I’ll be the first to celebrate if the vile little dictator gets toppled but lets wait and see. Meantime DONT BE COMPLACENT!!!

    • Ramsay 8.1

      So how is a New Zealand Prime Minister a dictator?

      • Sable 8.1.1

        Never heard of of the “elected dictatorship”. Why do you think we voted in MMP. Futile gesture but was worth a try…

        • Ramsay 8.1.1.1

          Ok. I was labouring under the impression that the last election was carried out using MMP.

          • McFlock 8.1.1.1.1

            Hence the use of the words “futile gesture”.

            “Elected dictatorship” refers to the fact that, regardless of the opinions of the citizenry, the elected government can legalise warrantless interception of citizens’ communications, remove the defendant’s intent or even the defendant’s actual actions from the consideration of guilt for certain “crimes” against foreign conglomerates, and sell assets regardless of the citizenry’s wishes as clearly expressed via referendum.

  9. Bill 9

    The managerial swaparoo of the past 30 years has (set rhinocrates on them if it’s not the case) gone now. That’s the difference. And in the twelve months from now to then, that’s all that needs to be highlighted. So yeah…it’s in the bag.

  10. Winifred Kiddle 10

    Is this comment for real? labour are nowhere near out of the woods and the stunt with the 23 year old wanting to buy a $500,000 house ? Not sure if that came across very well. What about those about to get their homes bulldozed, what about those with no homes? Get back to the grass roots I say and leave the centre to worry about their $500,000 purchases. It’s not as if they don’t know who they will vote for and they will vote

    • Sable 10.1

      +1 dead right

    • Bill 10.2

      Yup. The comment is ‘for real’. (excuse me if your comment was in reference to the satirical post and not my comment) There has been, I believe, a fundamental shift in NZs social democratic political environment. And as more people become aware of that, they will re-engage and make demands on the back of that change. So sure, it requires work to get the word out. But that’s somewhat easier than convincing people to be enthusiastic over some change the managerial style to be applied to the formally unquestioned neo-liberal consensus.

      As for the $500 000 house buyer….so what? Why can’t such a person be brought ‘on board’?

      Maybe you believe politics have to be about ‘either/or’ rather than about ‘this/and’?

  11. Win Kiddle 11

    Sure the $500,000 purchaser should be brought on board but
    i need to be brought on board as well. Would have been great to see public acknowledgement of what is happening with the proposed Auckland motorway. Haven’t seen that yet. Labour has the ability to make a broad sweep – centre to left. Shouldn’t get caught up in one place. The housing crisis is in part a crisis for those who want to buy homes in the more ‘acceptable’ suburbs. I am watching and waiting to see who was lying and who was telling the truth. It should be clear soon.

  12. Win Kiddle 12

    Bill I am not against encouraging a 23 year who is able to afford a $500,000 investment property to vote for Labour. While in the same city the city council is wanting to bulldoze people’s houses to make way for a motorway. It may not be high finance and only focused on people who do not have the means to purchase any house, there was still the opportunity or Labour show support for these people. They too could also be new Labour voters. No one’s convincing me to return to the fold – yet – but I am watching and waiting for real evidence of Labour’s intentions.

  13. We bring you great customer service to meet all your cheap cabin boats needs. Our customers will surely enjoy the experience they can have with us. Allmand Boats is a new boat and factory direct provider. You can have the cheap cabin boats that you’re looking for. We provide you with a variety of boat models, from sail outboards, to cabin cruisers, cheap cabin boats, affordable cabin boats, and US made Cabin Cruiser, we have it all here for you. You can ask for information about our prices and models for sale. Be assured of our attentiveness to our dear cheap cabin boats customers. For more information please visit here: http://www.newaffordableboats.com

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • $41m to support clean energy in South East Asia
    New Zealand is demonstrating its commitment to reducing global greenhouse emissions, and supporting clean energy transition in South East Asia, through a contribution of NZ$41 million (US$25 million) in climate finance to the Asian Development Bank (ADB)-led Energy Transition Mechanism (ETM). Prime Minister Christopher Luxon and Climate Change Minister Simon Watts announced ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 hours ago
  • Minister releases Fast-track stakeholder list
    The Government is today releasing a list of organisations who received letters about the Fast-track applications process, says RMA Reform Minister Chris Bishop. “Recently Ministers and agencies have received a series of OIA requests for a list of organisations to whom I wrote with information on applying to have a ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 hours ago
  • Judicial appointments announced
    Attorney-General Judith Collins today announced the appointment of Wellington Barrister David Jonathan Boldt as a Judge of the High Court, and the Honourable Justice Matthew Palmer as a Judge of the Court of Appeal. Justice Boldt graduated with an LLB from Victoria University of Wellington in 1990, and also holds ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 hours ago
  • Education Minister heads to major teaching summit in Singapore
    Education Minister Erica Stanford will lead the New Zealand delegation at the 2024 International Summit on the Teaching Profession (ISTP) held in Singapore. The delegation includes representatives from the Post Primary Teachers’ Association (PPTA) Te Wehengarua and the New Zealand Educational Institute (NZEI) Te Riu Roa.  The summit is co-hosted ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 hours ago
  • Value of stopbank project proven during cyclone
    A stopbank upgrade project in Tairawhiti partly funded by the Government has increased flood resilience for around 7000ha of residential and horticultural land so far, Regional Development Minister Shane Jones says. Mr Jones today attended a dawn service in Gisborne to mark the end of the first stage of the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 hours ago
  • Anzac commemorations, Türkiye relationship focus of visit
    Foreign Affairs Minister Winston Peters will represent the Government at Anzac Day commemorations on the Gallipoli Peninsula next week and engage with senior representatives of the Turkish government in Istanbul.    “The Gallipoli campaign is a defining event in our history. It will be a privilege to share the occasion ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 hours ago
  • Minister to Europe for OECD meeting, Anzac Day
    Science, Innovation and Technology and Defence Minister Judith Collins will next week attend the OECD Science and Technology Ministerial conference in Paris and Anzac Day commemorations in Belgium. “Science, innovation and technology have a major role to play in rebuilding our economy and achieving better health, environmental and social outcomes ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    8 hours ago
  • Comprehensive Partnership the goal for NZ and the Philippines
    Prime Minister Christopher Luxon held a bilateral meeting today with the President of the Philippines, Ferdinand Marcos Jr.  The Prime Minister was accompanied by MP Paulo Garcia, the first Filipino to be elected to a legislature outside the Philippines. During today’s meeting, Prime Minister Luxon and President Marcos Jr discussed opportunities to ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    20 hours ago
  • Government commits $20m to Westport flood protection
    The Government has announced that $20 million in funding will be made available to Westport to fund much needed flood protection around the town. This measure will significantly improve the resilience of the community, says Local Government Minister Simeon Brown. “The Westport community has already been allocated almost $3 million ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Taupō takes pole position
    The Government is proud to support the first ever Repco Supercars Championship event in Taupō as up to 70,000 motorsport fans attend the Taupō International Motorsport Park this weekend, says Economic Development Minister Melissa Lee. “Anticipation for the ITM Taupō Super400 is huge, with tickets and accommodation selling out weeks ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Cost of living support for low-income homeowners
    Local Government Minister Simeon Brown has announced an increase to the Rates Rebate Scheme, putting money back into the pockets of low-income homeowners.  “The coalition Government is committed to bringing down the cost of living for New Zealanders. That includes targeted support for those Kiwis who are doing things tough, such ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Government backing mussel spat project
    The Coalition Government is investing in a project to boost survival rates of New Zealand mussels and grow the industry, Oceans and Fisheries Minister Shane Jones has announced. “This project seeks to increase the resilience of our mussels and significantly boost the sector’s productivity,” Mr Jones says. “The project - ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Government focused on getting people into work
    Benefit figures released today underscore the importance of the Government’s plan to rebuild the economy and have 50,000 fewer people on Jobseeker Support, Social Development and Employment Minister Louise Upston says. “Benefit numbers are still significantly higher than when National was last in government, when there was about 70,000 fewer ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Clean energy key driver to reducing emissions
    The Government’s commitment to doubling New Zealand’s renewable energy capacity is backed by new data showing that clean energy has helped the country reach its lowest annual gross emissions since 1999, Climate Change Minister Simon Watts says. New Zealand’s latest Greenhouse Gas Inventory (1990-2022) published today, shows gross emissions fell ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Earthquake-prone buildings review brought forward
    The Government is bringing the earthquake-prone building review forward, with work to start immediately, and extending the deadline for remediations by four years, Building and Construction Minister Chris Penk says. “Our Government is focused on rebuilding the economy. A key part of our plan is to cut red tape that ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Thailand and NZ to agree to Strategic Partnership
    Prime Minister Christopher Luxon and his Thai counterpart, Prime Minister Srettha Thavisin, have today agreed that New Zealand and the Kingdom of Thailand will upgrade the bilateral relationship to a Strategic Partnership by 2026. “New Zealand and Thailand have a lot to offer each other. We have a strong mutual desire to build ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Government consults on extending coastal permits for ports
    RMA Reform Minister Chris Bishop and Transport Minister Simeon Brown have today announced the Coalition Government’s intention to extend port coastal permits for a further 20 years, providing port operators with certainty to continue their operations. “The introduction of the Resource Management Act in 1991 required ports to obtain coastal ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Inflation coming down, but more work to do
    Today’s announcement that inflation is down to 4 per cent is encouraging news for Kiwis, but there is more work to be done - underlining the importance of the Government’s plan to get the economy back on track, acting Finance Minister Chris Bishop says. “Inflation is now at 4 per ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • School attendance restored as a priority in health advice
    Refreshed health guidance released today will help parents and schools make informed decisions about whether their child needs to be in school, addressing one of the key issues affecting school attendance, says Associate Education Minister David Seymour. In recent years, consistently across all school terms, short-term illness or medical reasons ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Unnecessary bureaucracy cut in oceans sector
    Oceans and Fisheries Minister Shane Jones is streamlining high-level oceans management while maintaining a focus on supporting the sector’s role in the export-led recovery of the economy. “I am working to realise the untapped potential of our fishing and aquaculture sector. To achieve that we need to be smarter with ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Patterson promoting NZ’s wool sector at International Congress
    Associate Agriculture Minister Mark Patterson is speaking at the International Wool Textile Organisation Congress in Adelaide, promoting New Zealand wool, and outlining the coalition Government’s support for the revitalisation the sector.    "New Zealand’s wool exports reached $400 million in the year to 30 June 2023, and the coalition Government ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Removing red tape to help early learners thrive
    The Government is making legislative changes to make it easier for new early learning services to be established, and for existing services to operate, Associate Education Minister David Seymour says. The changes involve repealing the network approval provisions that apply when someone wants to establish a new early learning service, ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • RMA changes to cut coal mining consent red tape
    Changes to the Resource Management Act will align consenting for coal mining to other forms of mining to reduce barriers that are holding back economic development, Resources Minister Shane Jones says. “The inconsistent treatment of coal mining compared with other extractive activities is burdensome red tape that fails to acknowledge ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • McClay reaffirms strong NZ-China trade relationship
    Trade, Agriculture and Forestry Minister Todd McClay has concluded productive discussions with ministerial counterparts in Beijing today, in support of the New Zealand-China trade and economic relationship. “My meeting with Commerce Minister Wang Wentao reaffirmed the complementary nature of the bilateral trade relationship, with our Free Trade Agreement at its ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Prime Minister Luxon acknowledges legacy of Singapore Prime Minister Lee
    Prime Minister Christopher Luxon today paid tribute to Singapore’s outgoing Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong.   Meeting in Singapore today immediately before Prime Minister Lee announced he was stepping down, Prime Minister Luxon warmly acknowledged his counterpart’s almost twenty years as leader, and the enduring legacy he has left for Singapore and South East ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • PMs Luxon and Lee deepen Singapore-NZ ties
    Prime Minister Christopher Luxon held a bilateral meeting today with Singapore Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong. While in Singapore as part of his visit to South East Asia this week, Prime Minister Luxon also met with Singapore President Tharman Shanmugaratnam and will meet with Deputy Prime Minister Lawrence Wong.  During today’s meeting, Prime Minister Luxon ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Antarctica New Zealand Board appointments
    Foreign Minister Winston Peters has made further appointments to the Board of Antarctica New Zealand as part of a continued effort to ensure the Scott Base Redevelopment project is delivered in a cost-effective and efficient manner.  The Minister has appointed Neville Harris as a new member of the Board. Mr ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Finance Minister travels to Washington DC
    Finance Minister Nicola Willis will travel to the United States on Tuesday to attend a meeting of the Five Finance Ministers group, with counterparts from Australia, the United States, Canada, and the United Kingdom.  “I am looking forward to meeting with our Five Finance partners on how we can work ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Pet bonds a win/win for renters and landlords
    The coalition Government has today announced purrfect and pawsitive changes to the Residential Tenancies Act to give tenants with pets greater choice when looking for a rental property, says Housing Minister Chris Bishop. “Pets are important members of many Kiwi families. It’s estimated that around 64 per cent of New ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Long Tunnel for SH1 Wellington being considered
    State Highway 1 (SH1) through Wellington City is heavily congested at peak times and while planning continues on the duplicate Mt Victoria Tunnel and Basin Reserve project, the Government has also asked NZ Transport Agency (NZTA) to consider and provide advice on a Long Tunnel option, Transport Minister Simeon Brown ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • New Zealand condemns Iranian strikes
    Prime Minister Christopher Luxon and Foreign Minister Winston Peters have condemned Iran’s shocking and illegal strikes against Israel.    “These attacks are a major challenge to peace and stability in a region already under enormous pressure," Mr Luxon says.    "We are deeply concerned that miscalculation on any side could ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Huge interest in Government’s infrastructure plans
    Hundreds of people in little over a week have turned out in Northland to hear Regional Development Minister Shane Jones speak about plans for boosting the regional economy through infrastructure. About 200 people from the infrastructure and associated sectors attended an event headlined by Mr Jones in Whangarei today. Last ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Health Minister thanks outgoing Health New Zealand Chair
    Health Minister Dr Shane Reti has today thanked outgoing Health New Zealand – Te Whatu Ora Chair Dame Karen Poutasi for her service on the Board.   “Dame Karen tendered her resignation as Chair and as a member of the Board today,” says Dr Reti.  “I have asked her to ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Roads of National Significance planning underway
    The NZ Transport Agency (NZTA) has signalled their proposed delivery approach for the Government’s 15 Roads of National Significance (RoNS), with the release of the State Highway Investment Proposal (SHIP) today, Transport Minister Simeon Brown says.  “Boosting economic growth and productivity is a key part of the Government’s plan to ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Navigating an unstable global environment
    New Zealand is renewing its connections with a world facing urgent challenges by pursuing an active, energetic foreign policy, Foreign Minister Winston Peters says.   “Our country faces the most unstable global environment in decades,” Mr Peters says at the conclusion of two weeks of engagements in Egypt, Europe and the United States.    “We cannot afford to sit back in splendid ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • NZ welcomes Australian Governor-General
    Prime Minister Christopher Luxon has announced the Australian Governor-General, His Excellency General The Honourable David Hurley and his wife Her Excellency Mrs Linda Hurley, will make a State visit to New Zealand from Tuesday 16 April to Thursday 18 April. The visit reciprocates the State visit of former Governor-General Dame Patsy Reddy ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Pseudoephedrine back on shelves for Winter
    Associate Health Minister David Seymour has announced that Medsafe has approved 11 cold and flu medicines containing pseudoephedrine. Pharmaceutical suppliers have indicated they may be able to supply the first products in June. “This is much earlier than the original expectation of medicines being available by 2025. The Government recognised ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • NZ and the US: an ever closer partnership
    New Zealand and the United States have recommitted to their strategic partnership in Washington DC today, pledging to work ever more closely together in support of shared values and interests, Foreign Minister Winston Peters says.    “The strategic environment that New Zealand and the United States face is considerably more ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Joint US and NZ declaration
    April 11, 2024 Joint Declaration by United States Secretary of State the Honorable Antony J. Blinken and New Zealand Minister of Foreign Affairs the Right Honourable Winston Peters We met today in Washington, D.C. to recommit to the historic partnership between our two countries and the principles that underpin it—rule ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • NZ and US to undertake further practical Pacific cooperation
    Foreign Minister Winston Peters has announced further New Zealand cooperation with the United States in the Pacific Islands region through $16.4 million in funding for initiatives in digital connectivity and oceans and fisheries research.   “New Zealand can achieve more in the Pacific if we work together more urgently and ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago

Page generated in The Standard by Wordpress at 2024-04-19T06:12:53+00:00