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Thanks DPF for my laugh of the day

Written By: - Date published: 11:18 am, November 12th, 2012 - 60 comments
Categories: blogs, dpf, humour, The Standard - Tags: , ,

Someone tipped me off about this Kiwiblog post where DPF tries to play the wise ‘ol political insider:

The war against Shearer

The Standard has done three posts in two days calling for David Shearer to go, and on who should replace him.

While each is by a different author, I have been around politics far too long to think for a second that this is not part of a co-ordinated strategy to destabilise Shearer in the leadup to the Labour conference. …

Again, if you think this is a coincidence, I have a bridge for sale. Someone has decided to push the button.

Tee hee!

Alas the increasingly irrelevant one’s political instincts (which were never good) now seem to have failed him completely. I can state with utmost certainty that (1) The Standard is a loose collective of leftie authors, who (2) are “led” or instructed by no one, and (3) frequently disagree with each other, and (4) have not had any “button” pushed to orchestrate a campaign against Shearer.

DPF also conveniently ignores the posts that don’t support his theory – and is taken to task for it in the first comment on his post.

I can see how Farrar would make such a mistake, being more used to a command and control structure for his Nat blog. Interesting to note in this interview that National nearly closed Kiwiblog down, and it “was probably quite lucky to survive”. Well well. But here at The Standard we don’t take orders from anyone. We frequently disagree, on Shearer and on many other issues. Long live free speech eh?

60 comments on “Thanks DPF for my laugh of the day”

  1. Matt Fairhurst 1

    You mean you’re not a team of leftist sleeper agents controlled by a shadowy cabal headed by David Cunliffe? Last time I read THIS blog.

    • Hehe Matt.

      I think the evidence you are looking for is here … 

      • lprent 1.1.1

        Cracked me up. We’ll have to see about getting that here. The PG 5000 was ummm interesting. I wonder how he will take the joke?

        • mickysavage

          I am sure he would have been delighted.

          I am a bit disappointed though.  Apparently to some in Caucus I am satan’s mouthpiece and everything I say and do is at his bidding and is part of his neferious plans of world domination.  Yet I did not even get a mention.  I feel robbed … 

          • PlanetOrphan

            Welcome too Hell M8! , no more loitering @ the Gate in ya go …. o-:

          • lprent

            :) Yes Scott was somewhat remiss. Tell you what, I’ll help make it up for you. I’m about to test a RSS feed on the right hand side. I’ll stick waitakerenews in on the first test.

              • Anne

                Apparently to some in Caucus I am satan’s mouthpiece

                That is the strongest indication yet what I have suspected for some time:

                A worrying degree of cerebral instability has afflicted some Caucus members. We can only hope it isn’t catching…

  2. karol 2

    And today makes it 2 posts for Shearer, 3 against.  So DPF’s comment was a little premature…. unless, of course, he includes Tapu Misa in the conspiracy?

  3. Tracey 3

    Perhaps he should blame Hooten, he seemed to be advising the dumping of Shearer in a few threads here recently

    • Anne 3.1

      Ahhh Hooton:
      He announced to the world 15 mins ago on Radio NZ that a coup is underway as we speak. He knows this cos someone told him at the beginning of the year that the coup would be in November.

      We’ve been lining up the ducks all year apparently and we’re ready to move folks!

      When questioned by the indefatigable Kathryn how he knew all this, he said (and I paraphrase) that the architects of this conspiracy have already given the Dom. journos a head up…

      I turned off my natural audio antennae.

      • Uturn 3.1.1

        Of course, the ducks!

        I knew there was a mole in the Labour party, maybe even a a vole, but now the ducks lining up settles it.

        • prism

          Ducks carefully placed, so tasteful. Perhaps Baron Munchhausen has been whispering in DPF’s or Hooten’s ear. Baron M was great at tall stories. Shot a flock of ducks so neatly that he recovered a hastily-utilised bullet, a diamond at hand, from the last one of the line. Good story eh, stand up to any from the political mai mais.

          And stupid comments about concerted pusch so time-wasteful. Who are we to be led by – General Dissatisfaction? Or Major Concern.

      • Tracey 3.1.2

        Yes Hooten, mentioned Labour’s part int he pike river mine disaster and when whoever was on the panel countered with something about National he smugly stated “but that’s politicising this…” and moved on. I like Kat Ryan but Hooten really does tend to control his own interviews.

        At least it wasnt Geoff Robinson…

        • karol

          Meanwhile Josie Pagani, head in sand, was continuing to cheer-lead for Shearer.  And she claimed that most (or was it a lot?) of the people commenting against Shearer on blogs are not Labour Party supporters – or words to that effect.

          But Josie seems totally unaware of how offensive it is to many women and lesbians/gays (of diverse social classes) that she is arguing for the reinstatement of Tamihere to reconnect with the working classes.

          • Tracey

            she may be right, that they are not Labour supporters now, but they probably used to be…

            • Dr Terry

              True, Tracey. I was a member in his electorate and felt badly let down. I am consequently a very happy member of the Greens.

      • lprent 3.1.3

        Yep. Sounds like more retrospective bullshit.

  4. What, you mean you are not all blogging from the wine cellar beneath Cunliffes multi million dollar Herne bay mansion?

    • r0b 4.1

      As previously revealed, The Standard secret bunker is buried beneath Parliament itself – with a super secret entrance via the kitchen at Bellamy’s.

    • lprent 4.2

      BB: You should really look at a map and at least be geographically accurate if nothing else. I’m pretty sure that David Cunliffe doesn’t live in Herne Bay when he is here in Auckland. He lives in St Marys Bay.

      Next thing you’ll be telling me is that John Key’s Paritai Drive mansion that he lives in whilst up here is located in his Helensville electorate rather than on the Parnell street where my sister’s dog craps on a daily basis.

      • Shady 4.2.1

        I think you are the one in need of a map LPrent. John Key lives in Parnell (St Stephens Ave), not Paratai Drive which is in Orakei and is separated from Parnell either by an expanse of water and causeway, or a drive through Remuera. According to all media reports, David Cunliffe does live in Herne Bay. Maybe (according to you) he does live in St Mary’s Bay – which is even further from his electorate than Herne Bay. Proud moment for you that your sister’s dog craps in the same street as John Key’s mansion… so was that Paratai Drive or St Stephens Ave. A really long walk.

        • Fortran

          Cannot be St Mary’s Bay as that is where Winston lives – neighbours I do not think.

        • lprent

          Well my sister lives in Parnell so I’d guess that would be right. I tend to stay on the other side of the city. I’ve seen both Key and his house over there when my sister and the dog are trying to kill me with their “gentle” walks after I’d had a wee heart problem..

  5. Uturn 5

    Oh my gosh, someone has decided to push the button!

  6. Andrew Scobie 6

    what i find funny is that the person taking him to task over the balance of his post is none other than Pete George, who has been treated like shit by most of you :)

    • Tracey 6.1

      I dont consider I have treated him like shit, however I hope you are not saying that I have to agree with everything a person says if I agree with one thing they say?

      • Andrew Scobie 6.1.1

        i certainly don’t mean that everyone treated him like shit, but unfortunately whenever pete said anything, good or bad, there were a bunch of people that would deliberately jump into the thread to try and wind him up. that’s why the threads got hard to read.

        anyway …

        • Jackal

          You know, there’s some truth to what you’re saying there Andrew Scobie. But the problem is that Pete George wrote a lot of really really stupid stuff. On the balance of things, I would say that around 50% of what he wrote was wrong, 25% was trivial and 25% was worthwhile reading. Generous eh!

          It didn’t take long for people to become critical of everything he wrote because of that 50% that was clearly wrong! Even when presented with the facts, Pete George would continue proclaiming he was right. That resulted in long and extensive debates, where nothing was resolved. They were therefore rather pointless! This pissed a lot of people off, including myself.

          Its human nature to let what you don’t like about what somebody says or does cloud anything good about them. In fact with politicians it’s often even worse, with people closing themselves off to the good in what they say because they don’t agree with one particular aspect of their politics. These judgements can even be made because of what another politician in the same party has said years ago. It can be even worse than that, with people not giving others a chance purely based on prejudices of race, sex or religion etc.

          That’s not why I gave Pete George a hard time though. My prejudice against him and Peter Dunne are in my opinion entirely justified and a result of the stupid things they believe in and try to foist onto others.

          Thankfully Pete George has improved a lot recently… In fact his comments are often the only ones of value on the entire KB general debate threads. So perhaps he has learnt something worthwhile from his Standard experience… Which is more than can be said about some closed minds out there.

    • r0b 6.2

      Don’t believe I’ve ever treated him like shit – though I do disagree with him most of the time.

      Someone banned Pete (don’t recall who or why), and though I might get beaten up in comments, I think it was a decision that could be reviewed some time.

      • karol 6.2.1

        For me it wasn’t so much the content of PG’s comments, but the amount.  He was flooding discussions with comments, making it a little more difficult than necessary to follow the main threads of a discussion.

        • mike e

          I have no shame and gave him everything he deserved but when he was sensible which was rare I did praise him as well!
          But Hootten is one slippery operator I don’t know how he manages to sit in a chair properly!
          Excuses followed by excuses on behalf of Nationals failure on their promises.
          The hosing bubble is stopping our productive sector in its tracks and now we have an unorthodox reserve bank governor allowing this to happen speculators are having a tax free ride at the expense of the productive sector.
          Hands off bullshit for once Pagani got stuck in a bit but allowed Hootten to shout her down
          to much deregulation is whats stuffing our economy!
          We need the housing bubble burst sooner than later once those manufacturing jobs have gone they go forever the countries that pick them up know better than us !

      • lprent 6.2.2

        Someone banned Pete (don’t recall who or why)…

        Me. I got tired of giving him short bans for trying to tell us how we should be running our site. When he started to try to lawyer his way through the rules I got pissed off and permanently banned him.

        I figured that he could expend the time on his own site where he could criticize how we do things without me having to exert any effort. And that is exactly what he has done.


        Recently he has been taking us to task for things that commentators write. He really is a bit confused. Better him doing it on his site than wasting my time.

  7. RRM 7

    And who “Took DPF to task”…?

    None other than Pete George, who is banned from commenting on The Standard…

    It’s funny how the seasons change, isn’t it?

  8. On one hand I don’t mind whether he stays or goes. But on the other the NZ Herald seems to be cheerleeding the government today and turning a blind eye to the increase in unemployment and poverty in their ‘score card’ ( http://www.nzherald.co.nz/politics/news/article.cfm?c_id=280&objectid=10846807 ); while attacking the welfare state and carrying on beneficiary bashing ( http://www.nzherald.co.nz/politics/news/article.cfm?c_id=280&objectid=10846690 ).

  9. the sprout 9

    Once again, the only people supporting Shearer are the rightwingers. What a joke

  10. the sprout 10

    And tumeke, dimpost, and public address – pretty much all of the larger left blogs are calling for Shearer to go.

  11. There has been huge action on Ipredict today.  Shearer’s gone by Christmas stock has doubled in price and there are a number of protective bids put in.  Turnover right now is 2,340 against an average daily turnover of 40.  I know that it is silly and Hooton profits from it but it is interesting …

    • Matthew Hooton 11.1

      micky, it would be more accurate to say that i lose money from it ….

    • felix 11.2

      “Doubled in price”, sure, or to put it another way it was worth bugger-all last week, then dropped to sod-all a few days ago, then rose dramatically to half-a-bucket-of-fuck-all today.

  12. Cricklewood 12

    I do like the slightly mischevious quote ‘was lucky to survive’ when the full quote was ‘ I was lucky to survive’ as in himself working for the nats… selective quoting straight out of dpf’s own playbook…. And rather apt given the mornings posts

    • r0b 12.1

      I try not to do “selective quoting”. I thought it was clear from the context that the “I” refered to Kiwiblog, but I see that yes there is another reading. Either way the point remains – Nats assumed the power to close the blog down. Here for the record is the full quote:

      During the year Farrar was working for his party and actively blogging, “there actually were attempts to close it down from some people in the National caucus because sometimes I was saying things that weren’t totally in line there”. He shakes his head sorrowfully. “I was probably quite lucky to survive.”

  13. felix 13

    Hahaha I see that terminal fool InventedTory2 is in the thread pretending to know the identities of several of The Standard’s authors. With near absolute certainty too.

    What a dick.

    • r0b 13.1

      What thread?

      • felix 13.1.1

        The Kiwiblog thread.

        • r0b

          Still can’t see it. Never mind – just more random idiot witterings I expect. ‘night.

          • weka

            I can’t see it either. What’s the name of the thread felix?
            I see DF updated his post though:

            I should clarify something relating to my earlier post. I never suggested The Standard has a group view on Shearer. I know each author is independent. What I focused on is the fact that two (now three) of the most longest serving and prolific authors have all called for Shearer to go – BEFORE he even gets to the first party conference. The fact a couple of other authors have disagreed does not change the significance of this.
            My statement that this was no coincidence was not referring to a co-ordinated effort between The Standard authors as a bloc. I meant that it was being co-ordinated by one or more MPs who have chosen to try and force the issue before conference.

            Is it just me, or does that not make any sense either?

            • r0b

              DPF does seem to be a bit agitated about all this doesn’t he. The size of his conspiracy has now shrunk to embarrassingly small proportions.

              But he’s still peddling a conspiracy, still claiming that (1) Labour MPs know who the authors are, and (2) MPs have some control over authors. So I guess my response is still the same. Hah!

              • lprent

                MP’s are more likely to get their hand bitten off with a story about attempts at undue influence written by me and in my usual style. Or now I think about it, even worse would probably be a gentle word from Mike.

                But our authors tend towards being somewhat ummm awkward individuals to budge (actually bloody minded and stubborn comes to mind). You can count the nice ones on a single hand.

                Amongst the current band – You of course, probably Karol (don’t know enough), James maybe?, umm ummm…… Ben. Ah Mike (but he is more nice in person than anything else). And then of course there are the really even tempered ones (but probably not in the way that most people mean) like myself, Irish, Fuckity Fuck Fuck :twisted:, and even RedLogix when he gets fired up. The rest of the authors tend to be sort of between the extrmes.

                The best any MP can do is what they always have to do – figure out a good story and try to charm it with personality or logic. I have no idea if any authors have blabbed to MP’s. But we got in the mode of being cautious quite early. That was mostly due to the Farrar and his cohorts. But since most of the original authors are no longer with us most of those they may have known are no longer writing.

                But they sure as hell don’t approach me trying to tell me what would be good to write. Usually they just put me on mailing lists for their material.

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