web analytics
The Standard

The Woodhouse Family

Written By: - Date published: 3:35 pm, May 21st, 2014 - 32 comments
Categories: humour, national - Tags:

woodhouse woodhousenotfamily

Veterans Affairs Minister Michael Woodhouse sees the family resemblance above (presumably white males in collars with no missing facial features), so he now feels a greater closeness to Gallipoli.

Unfortunately for him, Trooper Frank Woodhouse’s real great-nephew is able to disprove Michael’s lineage.

Still Michael’s a Woodhouse from Otago so he’s sure he must be some sort of relation and has only issued a “sort of apology” to the family if they’re offended…

Not satisfied with the glory-seeking minister’s ways, those trolls and bottom-dwellers on Twitter have managed to dig up a few more relatives for him to claim:

woodhousefamily2

woodhouse family1

32 comments on “The Woodhouse Family”

  1. greywarbler 1

    Lovely photos. What a great family. Lots of fun but there is a serious, noble side to him too. Someone, Bunji? did a great job illustrating this fresh-faced NACToids story. Do NACTs have a panel checking them for camera presentability when applying to be seedylings? And perhaps wardrobe advisors, hair too.

    He is Minister of Immigration as well as Veterans Affairs so he will know how important having the right connections are. He was with the ACC for some years – Michael held senior management positions with ACC, where he was instrumental in implementing ACC’s Elective Services Contracting framework and many years in hospital management.
    http://www.beehive.govt.nz/minister/biography/michael-woodhouse

    But while thinking of the Woodhouse name, the name of Sir Owen Woodhouse who died on 15 April 2014 should be at the top of the list. I don’t think that this young fellow is closely connected to the 97 year old one. Sir Owen was responsible for the policy introducing no fault ACC. He thought that the distinction between being incapacitated by accident or illness should not exist. In 2012 he was advocating for pay as you go ACC instead of the fully funded for the future model. (That’s a form of compulsory saving, that the gummint should acknowledge. That should be available for investment in this country.) His obituary – http://www.nzherald.co.nz/hawkes-bay-today/news/article.cfm?c_id=1503462&objectid=11240448
    and
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Owen_Woodhouse

  2. Clemgeopin 2

    Mother Theresa I can believe, but that chick with the light eyes in the second picture is unlikely because she is blond, gay, not from Otago and she definitely does not enjoy any wood house, unlike Woodhouse.

    More recent news about him:
    Woodhouse-grilled-over-immigration-meeting:

    http://www.3news.co.nz/Woodhouse-grilled-over-immigration-meeting/tabid/1607/articleID/343342/Default.aspx

  3. bad12 3

    Woodhouse’s false claim isn’t quite up there with buying a couple of medals never won and then wearing them on ANZAC parades but it sure is in the same vein,

    This fraud is the Minister for Veterans affairs and manages to insult all of them and the family He half inched the great-uncle from, pathetic plonker should do the decent thing and resign…

  4. Chris 4

    It’s understandable Woodhouse would say what he did because with a face like that it’s clear he likes a drop out of a clean glass and not just occasionally so I’d say his judgement is clouded most of the time.

  5. JAK 5

    Your puerile false photos mitigate trampling the honour of a family name.

    • get a grip..!

      ..you with the shouty-name…

      (and do you bask in the glow of ‘the honour of a family name’..?

      ..d’ya..?

      ..and what utter bullshit..eh..?

      ..it was nothing you did..eh..?

    • greywarbler 5.2

      Whose family? Michael’s or the dead soldier’s or the august person of Sir Owen Woodhouse.

  6. no ‘woody’-pic..?..from toy story..?

  7. Populuxe1 7

    Someone please explain how this is any more worth getting hysterical over than Cunliffe stuffing up his grandfather and great uncle?

    • i wouldn’t so much describe it as ‘hysteria’..

      ..more of an easy-target piss-take…eh..?..

    • felix 7.2

      Well Pop, for a start they were actually Cunliffe’s grandfather and great uncle…

      • Colonial Viper 7.2.1

        The difference between being direct blood relatives and simply sharing a name in different phone books is complex and difficult to grasp.

        • felix 7.2.1.1

          Yeah I can see how Pop has trouble with such delicate nuance.

          • Populuxe1 7.2.1.1.1

            Not really. This is New Zealand, population not quite four million with a very high probability of being related to someone with the same last name if your family has been here more than a few generations. I’m sorry you’re a spiteful moron.

            • fender 7.2.1.1.1.1

              Get it right

              p.s. not being spiteful or a moron

            • wtl 7.2.1.1.1.2

              Actually every living person is related to every other living person, only to different degrees. It is therefore nonsensical to claim a relation to another person without some kind of actual family tree or genealogy proving the degree that you are related, as there is no reason for you to be more related to that person than any other person. The point about sharing the same family name is largely irrelevant – it would only apply if a single founding family with that name migrated to New Zealand and never any others over many years of migration to New Zealand. This would be pretty uncommon except for the rarest names. Even then, others that don’t share the same name could still be more closely related to that person through a maternal lineage.

              tldr version: Sharing a family name tells you nothing about how related you are to a person, even in New Zealand.

            • Tracey 7.2.1.1.1.3

              i have not met a single person who has assumed they are related to someone with the same surname, just cos they share the name.

              most people i know would ask and or research before making a public proclamation of association.

              • Populuxe1

                Which largely goes to underscore what a boring and pedantic person you are

                • Tracey

                  nice personal attack there populuxe, i shall chalk that up as you conceding defeat on this one.

                  • Once was Tim

                    Be fair Tracey …. Populuxe is incapable of conceding anything on account of a gigantic ego and a wipe it up wipe it up with XLO surface cleaner that allows a new ‘truth’ to pop up tomorrow (probably dressed in whatever drag is necessary to make it sound convincing).
                    (Pledge @ Pop! it’s a combined pragmatic cleaner and lubricant all in one) – I’ve got 4 litres of industrial package if you’re in desperate need – which it sounds like you are)
                    ….. missing you already Pop

  8. Stuart Munro 8

    I love it – the ‘Woodlouse declaration’ is a pretty good indication of the level of Gnat desperation.

  9. fender 9

    He’s not “dissimilar” to this Woodhouse either, the “shared DNA” is obvious..

  10. swordfish 10

    Well, yes, yes, Michael may not exactly be “related” to this Gallipoli veteran in terms of bloodlines and researchable, verifiable fact. But, as he’s implied, there’s a kind of artistic or literary truth to what he’s claiming. It has a sort of emotional human truthiness to it.

  11. Don't worry be happy 11

    Wee Mikey Woodhouse, pathetic little man, grasping for heroes where only poor frightened kids sent to slaughter for the King and the Empire can be found. Like his tiny little Boss’s fixation with big burly rugger players, seems like feelings of inadequacy as man to me. Gallipoli was a blood soaked scandalous mistake and should be mourned not celebrated. I have read women were banned from dawn parades on Anzac Day for years because their weeping disrupted the patriotic flag waving. War is always a lie…a hugely profitable lie. Time to take Anzac Day off the sociopaths….

  12. this really funny thing happened re woodhouse over a week ago..

    ..and i am still chuckling about it..

    ..there is this unrelenting booze-pimp/pusher..(who is also a walking example/warning of over-consumption of his product..)

    ..who is a panelist on the mora show on rnz..

    ..(millar is his name..i think..)

    ..he is also a rightwing trout/apologist..

    ..anyway..he said something about ten days ago..and i can’t ‘loose’ it..

    ..he made a political-prediction that ‘woody’ is a rising star in the national party..(!)

    ..(i know..!..i know..!..)

    .and that he will be the next deputy-leader of the party..(!)

    ..(i know..!..i know..!..fucken hilarious..!..eh..?..mora seemed somewhat gobsmacked at this orifice-pluck..saying:.’we will remember you said that..’..

    ..(indeed..!..moras’ prediction is true for me..i can’t fucken forget it..millars’ new benchmark in shark-jumping..)

    ..my first thought at this farcical/laughable-claim was:..’whoar..!..that’s a doozy..!.’..

    ..my second was that the national party must have a talent pool as deep as a petrie-dish…

    ..my third thought was:..’they must be companions in booze’..

    ..one piss-head reaching out to another..?..

    • fender 12.1

      +1 Phillip

      That “craft beer” regurgitating Millar is so boring and predictable I often confuse him with Jordon Williams the union hating taxpayers union dork..

  13. Wonderpup 13

    And now the poor love can’t remember who he blames for telling the story that he was mistaken.

    “Veterans’ Affairs Minister Michael Woodhouse says he cannot recollect whether he blamed the Otago Daily Times for publishing a case of mistaken identity.”

    http://www.odt.co.nz/news/dunedin/303134/mp-unsure-whether-he-blamed-odt

    A new Rowley Birkin QC in the making. perhaps?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJVGuxj7AWQ

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • Worker safety top of mind tomorrow and beyond
    Workers’ Memorial Day, commemorated tomorrow, is both a time to reflect and to encourage a better safety culture in all workplaces, says Labour’s spokesperson for Labour Issues Iain Lees-Galloway.“On Worker’s Memorial Day, working people across New Zealand will remember those… ...
    16 hours ago
  • Communities forced to stomach water woes
    Confirmation by Health Minister Jonathan Coleman that he is to wind up a water quality improvement scheme will leave thousands of Kiwis with no alternative but to continue boiling their drinking water, Labour’s Health spokesperson Annette King says. The Drinking… ...
    21 hours ago
  • Labour calls for immediate humanitarian aid for Nepal
    The Government should act immediately to help with earthquake relief efforts in Nepal, Labour’s Foreign Affairs spokesperson David Shearer says. “The Nepalese Government is appealing for international assistance following yesterday’s massive quake. The full impact is only now being realised… ...
    21 hours ago
  • New holiday reflects significance of Anzac Day
    Anzac Day now has the full recognition that other public holidays have long enjoyed, reflecting the growing significance it has to our sense of identity and pride as a nation, Labour MP David Clark says.“The importance of the 100th Gallipoli… ...
    21 hours ago
  • Housing crisis hurting export growth
    If Steven Joyce wants to revive his failing export growth target he needs to make sure the Government gets to grips with the housing crisis, says David Parker, Labour’s Export Growth and Trade spokesperson. “Our exporters are struggling to compete… ...
    4 days ago
  • Gallipoli’s lesson: never forget, never repeat
     A special monument to one of our greatest war heroes should be a priority for the new Pukeahu National War Memorial Park, Labour Leader Andrew Little says.  “This will honour the spirit of Lieutenant Colonel William Malone, who led 760… ...
    4 days ago
  • Minister for who? Women, or Team Key?
    Louise Upston yesterday broke her silence on John Key’s repeated unwanted touching of a woman who works at his local café, to jump to the defence of her Boss. Upston repeated Key’s apology but, according to media reports “she refused… ...
    GreensBy Jan Logie MP
    4 days ago
  • Taxpayer bucks backing US billionaire
    Kiwis will be horrified to know they are backing a Team Oracle subsidiary owned by a US billionaire, Labour’s Sports and Recreation spokesperson Trevor Mallard says. It has been revealed today that a Warkworth boat building company, which is wholly… ...
    5 days ago
  • English’s sins of omission: ‘Nothing left to be done’ on housing
    When Bill English said ‘there is nothing left to be done’ on the Auckland housing crisis he had overlooked a few things – a few things, Labour’s Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford says.  “He’s right if you ignore: ...
    5 days ago
  • Climate change now hurts Kiwis
    Kiwis have twice been given timely and grave warnings on how climate change will hit them in their hip pockets this week, says Climate Change spokesperson Megan Woods.  “The first is the closure of the Sanford mussel plant and the… ...
    5 days ago
  • Clean, green and chocolate!
    Like many people I absolutely love chocolate! But until recently I hadn’t given much thought to how it was grown and produced. Fair trade and ethical food production are core Green Party principles, so yesterday Steffan Browning and I were… ...
    GreensBy Mojo Mathers MP
    5 days ago
  • National admits loan shark law not up to it
    National has admitted new laws to crack down on loan sharks, truck shops and dodgy credit merchants aren’t up to the task of protecting vulnerable consumers, Labour’s Commerce spokesperson Kris Faafoi says. “Paul Goldsmith has acknowledged the laws might just… ...
    5 days ago
  • Power and the Prime Minister
    I’d like to acknowledge the young woman* who has publically told her story. It was a very brave thing to do. She kept her story very simple and focussed on her experience of what happened. It told of unwanted attention… ...
    GreensBy Jan Logie MP
    5 days ago
  • Extra holiday offers time to reflect
    The Mondayisation of Anzac Day provides New Zealanders with an opportunity to spend more time with their families and their communities, Dunedin North Labour MP David Clark says. “This is the first time legislation I introduced, to have Anzac and… ...
    5 days ago
  • More angst and anguish for red zone locals
    Local residents will be bitterly disappointed by the Government’s cherry picking of the Supreme Court’s decision regarding compensation for red zoned property owners, Labour Canterbury Earthquake Recovery spokesperson and Port Hills MP Ruth Dyson says. “Home owners have taken all… ...
    6 days ago
  • Australia shows why we need a sovereign wealth fund now
    Australia has not managed its great mining boom well, says HSBC’s chief economist for Australia and New Zealand, Paul Bloxham. When times are good, governments need to save for the bad times that will inevitably follow, and this can be… ...
    GreensBy Russel Norman MP
    6 days ago
  • Pure Water- pure rip off
    New Zealanders’ rights to fresh water must be protected before commercial allocations are given, but the Government is allowing resources to be taken, says Kelvin Davis MP for Te Tai Tokerau.  “The Government needs to resolve the issue of water… ...
    6 days ago
  • Cabinet paper reveals weak case for Iraq deployment
    A heavily redacted copy of a Cabinet paper on New Zealand’s military deployment to Iraq reveals how weak the case is for military involvement in that conflict, says Labour’s Defence spokesperson Phil Goff.  The paper warns that given the failure… ...
    6 days ago
  • Malaysia’s booty is Kiwis’ lost homeownership dream
    It’s unsurprising the Auckland property market is so overheated when Malaysians are being told they can live large on Kiwi’s hard-earned rent money, Labour’s Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford says. “A Malaysian property website lists nearly 4000 New Zealand houses and… ...
    6 days ago
  • Ministry’s food safety resources slashed to the bone
    The Ministry for Primary Industries’ failure to monitor toxic and illegal chemicals in red meat is a dereliction of duty, Labour’s Primary Industries and Food Safety spokesperson Damien O’Connor says. “MPI compliance officer Gary Orr today admitted National’s much-vaunted super… ...
    6 days ago
  • Ministry must protect organic food industry
    The Ministry for Primary Industries must take urgent action to protect New Zealand’s $150 million organic food and beverage industry by establishing a certification regime, Labour’s Primary Industries spokesperson Damien O’Connor says. “Despite working with Organics Aotearoa on the issue… ...
    7 days ago
  • Tony Abbott, indigenous rights, and refugees
    This week, Tony Abbott has visited Aotearoa New Zealand, bringing with him his racist policies against indigenous Australians and his appalling record on refugee detention camps. Abbott has launched a policy “to close” remote aboriginal communities, which is about as… ...
    GreensBy Catherine Delahunty MP
    7 days ago
  • PM’s housing outburst bizarre
    Labour’s Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford has described the Prime Minister’s latest comments on the Auckland housing crisis as bizarre. “John Key is deep in denial. He must be one of the only people left who are not concerned about the risk… ...
    1 week ago
  • Deflation: Another economic headache linked to housing crisis
    National’s housing crisis is causing even further damage with the second consecutive quarter of deflation a genuine concern the Reserve Bank can do little about, as it focusses on Auckland house prices, says Labour’s Finance spokesperson Grant Robertson. “This is… ...
    1 week ago
  • Pot calling the kettle black over fossil fuel subsidies.
    Over the weekend alongside nine other countries the New Zealand Government has endorsed a statement that supports eliminating inefficient subsidies on fossil fuels. Fossil fuel subsidies are a big driver of increasing emissions. Good on the Government for working internationally… ...
    GreensBy Gareth Hughes MP
    1 week ago
  • At last – a common sense plan for Christchurch
    The Common Sense Plan for Christchurch released by The People’s Choice today is a welcome relief from the shallow debate about rates rises versus asset sales, Labour’s Christchurch MPs say. "Local residents – who have spent weeks trawling through the… ...
    1 week ago
  • National must lead by example on climate change
    The National Government must meet its own climate change obligations before it preaches to the rest of the world, Labour's Climate Change spokesperson Megan Woods says. "Calls today by Climate Change Minister Tim Groser for an end to fossil fuel… ...
    1 week ago
  • Biosecurity rethink a long time
    The Government has opened New Zealand’s borders to biosecurity risks and its rethinking of bag screening at airports is an admission of failure, Labour’s Primary Industries spokesperson Damien O’Connor says. Nathan Guy today announced a review of biosecurity systems in… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Chinese rail workers must be paid minimum wage
    KiwiRail must immediately stop further Chinese engineers from working here until they can guarantee they are being paid the New Zealand minimum wage, Labour’s MP for Hutt South Trevor Mallard says. The Ministry of Business, Innovation and Employment today released… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Better consultation needed on Christchurch asset sales
    The Christchurch City Council (CCC) should be promoting wide and genuine public consultation on its draft ten year budget and plan given the serious implications for the city’s future of its proposed asset sales, outlined in the plan. Instead, it… ...
    GreensBy Eugenie Sage MP
    2 weeks ago
  • ‘Healthy Families’ a good start but not enough to tackle obesity relate...
    Today the Government is making a the meal out of the launch of its ‘Healthy Families’ package to promote ‘healthier decisions’ and ‘changing mindsets’ over nutrition, physical activity and obesity. Great! The programme is based on a successful model from… ...
    GreensBy Kevin Hague MP
    2 weeks ago
  • ‘Healthy Families’ a good start but not enough to tackle obesity relate...
    Today the Government is making a the meal out of the launch of its ‘Healthy Families’ package to promote ‘healthier decisions’ and ‘changing mindsets’ over nutrition, physical activity and obesity. Great! The programme is based on a successful model from… ...
    GreensBy Kevin Hague MP
    2 weeks ago
  • No more sweet talk on obesity
    The Government should be looking at broader measures to combat obesity rather than re-hashing pre-announced initiatives, Labour’s Health spokesperson Annette King says.  “While it is encouraging to see the Government finally waking from its slumber and restoring a focus on… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Government two-faced on zero-hour contracts
    The Government should look to ban zero-hour contracts in its own back yard before getting too high and mighty about other employers using them, Labour’s Health spokesperson Annette King says. “Information collated by Labour shows at least three district health… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Scrutiny of battlefield deaths should continue
    As New Zealand troops head to Iraq under a shroud of secrecy, the Government is pushing ahead with legislation to remove independent scrutiny of incidents where Kiwi soldiers are killed in hostile action overseas, Labour’s Defence spokesperson Phil Goff says.… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Damp-free homes a right for tenants
    Labour is urging tenants to use a little known rule which gives them the right to live in damp-free rental homes. Otago University researchers have today highlighted the Housing Improvement Regulations 1947 as a way tenants can force landlords to… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • National must take action on speculators
    The Government must take action on property speculators who are damaging the housing market and shutting families and young people out of the home ownership dream, Labour Leader Andrew Little says.  “There are a number of options the Government could… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Milk price halves: A $7b economic black hole
    Global milk prices have halved since the peak last year, creating an economic black hole of almost $7 billion that will suck in regions reliant on dairy, crucial industries and the Government’s books, says Labour’s Finance Spokesperson Grant Robertson. “The… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Kitchen plan set to swallow up health boards’ funds
    The financial impacts of implementing a proposal to outsource hospital food, forced on them by a crown-owned company which is now facing an auditor-general’s inquiry, are being felt by district health boards across the country, Labour’s Health spokesperson Annette King… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Reserve Bank scathing of Government
    The Reserve Bank’s most scathing critique to date of National’s inability to handle the housing crisis shows the Bank is sick of having to pick up the pieces, Labour Leader Andrew Little says.  “John Key continues to deny there is… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Time for McDonald’s to upsize work hours
    Labour is calling on McDonald’s to have more respect for their workers and offer them more guaranteed work hours. McDonald’s is proposing to guarantee its workers 80 per cent of their rostered hours, Labour’s spokesperson for Labour Issues Iain Lees-Galloway… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Brownlee misses the boat on asbestos
    Gerry Brownlee has once again missed an opportunity to improve the lives of Cantabrians post-earthquakes, Labour’s Canterbury Earthquake Recovery spokesperson Ruth Dyson says. A new report from the Royal Society of New Zealand and the Prime Minister’s Chief Science Adviser,… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Government must come clean on troop deployment and protections
    New Zealanders deserve more than to hear about their troops’ deployment overseas from Australian media, Opposition Leader Andrew Little says. “News from Australia that Kiwi troops are on their way to Iraq this week is another example of the culture… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Cancer prevention calls gain momentum
    Research showing bowel cancer treatment sucks up more public health dollars than other cancers once again highlights the need for a national screening programme, Labour’s Health spokesperson Annette King says. A study by Otago University, which found colon cancer is… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Burger King shows zero-hour contracts not needed
    The abandonment of zero-hour contracts by Burger King is further evidence good employers do not need to use them, Labour’s spokesperson on Labour Issues Iain Lees-Galloway says. "Congratulations to the Unite Union and Burger King for settling an employment agreement… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Kiwis deserve more than reheats
    The Government looks set to rely on regurgitated announcements for this year’s Budget if today’s speech is anything to go by, Labour Leader Andrew Little says. “National has been building up to this Budget for seven long years, promising a… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Landlords not cashing in on insulation schemes
    The fact so few landlords have taken up the generous taxpayer subsidy for retrofitting shows it is time to legislate minimum standards, says Labour’s Associate Housing spokesperson Poto Williams. “Many landlords aren’t using Government insulation schemes because they don’t want… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Zero excuses, end zero hour contracts now
    It’s time Workplace Relations Minister Michael Woodhouse cut the weasel words and banned zero hour contracts, Labour Leader Andrew Little says. “Michael Woodhouse today acknowledged zero hour contracts are unfair. ...
    2 weeks ago
  • We’ve reached Peak Key with ‘artificial target’
    John Key’s attempt to redefine his cornerstone promise of two election campaigns as an artificial target suggests his other promises are works of fiction, says Labour’s Finance spokesperson Grant Robertson. “For seven years and two election campaigns, John Key has… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Top 10 need to know facts on climate change
    All the numbers and stats around climate change can be confusing, so we’ve put together a handy list of the top 10 numbers about climate change that we should all know- and then do something about. You can sign up here to… ...
    GreensBy Frog
    3 weeks ago

Public service advertisements by The Standard

Current CO2 level in the atmosphere