web analytics
The Standard

Try hard Key’s audition tape

Written By: - Date published: 1:29 pm, August 6th, 2011 - 37 comments
Categories: Minister for Overseas Holidays, youtube - Tags:

January 2009. Jobs are being lost at 4,000 per week. Key and his government have just come back from a month long holiday. First thing he does: makes an audition tape for Letterman. Notice how all the jokes are taking the mickey out of our country. Makes you real proud.

37 comments on “Try hard Key’s audition tape”

  1. You know that David Letterman’s late show is a comedy show, right? And despite this being pretty weak comedy, it kind of makes sense to try do something that takes the piss out of NZ to get Letterman’s attention, rather than send them a tourism NZ brocuhre?

    Ya’ll can do better than this, not even Goff has a problem with this.

    http://www.3news.co.nz/Goff-not-attacking-Key-over-Letterman-appearance/tabid/419/articleID/221255/Default.aspx

    • Colonial Viper 1.1

      You know that David Letterman’s late show is a comedy show, right?

      Hence it makes sense why Clown PM wanted on, even at cost to the tax payer.

      I would suggest that Key keep his day job, but well, 😈

    • Zetetic 1.2

      James. The question is why the PM is spending his time trying to get on a comedy show when 800 jobs a day are being lost. Not whether his audition tape is good but why he’s making one at all.

      • law 1.2.1

        I am surprised that you are asking that question. The intent of getting on the show was pretty clear, raise the profile of NZ, attract more tourists. More tourists = more jobs. Effectiveness of being on the Lettermen show is what you probably should be questioning, intent is pretty clear.

        • Zetetic 1.2.1.1

          So you honestly think that that makes sense?

          You honestly think that the biggest tool at the PM’s disposal for creating jobs was to get himself (not some other NZer, himself) on to do four minutes of comedy on the number 2 late night TV show in the US. And you think that, after seeing the PM of NZ do dome bad jokes for a few minutes people would say ‘I want to go to that country’? And that would create enough new tourists to create lots of new jobs?

          Any evidence any of that happened?

          Doesn’t that sound like an enormously fucked up way of trying to create jobs?

        • Banter 1.2.1.2

          “Effectiveness of being on the Lettermen show is what you probably should be questioning, intent is pretty clear”

          And if Goff had done the same it would be as equally awesome…..

          • Frank Macskasy 1.2.1.2.1

            “And if Goff had done the same it would be as equally awesome…..”

            We’ll never know. I suspect Goff would have more common sense, or would have been coached better.

  2. gobsmacked 2

    How bad is this video? Let’s ask the PM’s office …

    1) Key kept quiet about it for nearly three years

    2) It was only finally released because they had no choice, under the OIA

    3) It was released on Friday afternoon – the classic “dump and hide”

    4) On YouTube, comments have been disabled

    So they knew what the public would think of it. They were right – check out the avalanche of embarrassment in the comments on Stuff …

    http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/politics/5398470/John-Keys-video-invite-to-Letterman

    Oh dear.

    • Colonial Viper 2.1

      I reckon someone should upload a version on YouTube which has comments activated. People here know how to download youtube videos right? (‘downloadhelper’ add on for Firefox will do it).

    • felix 2.2

      Comments seem to be on now.

  3. queenstfarmer 3

    Cheesy? Yes.

    Naff? Yeah.

    Getting significant publicity for NZ tourism at very low cost? Yes.

    Good on John for doing this.

    • millsy 3.1

      John Key can do no wrong in your eyes can he?

      Even though he is on track to drag down New Zealander’s living standards by 70-80% by:

      Holding down wages and conditions
      Allowing rents to skyrocket by destorying state housing
      selling our power companies and allowing prices to skyrocket

      Etc

      • queenstfarmer 3.1.1

        He can do a lot of things wrong – he’s a politician after all.

        For example if he did any of those things you allege, that would be wrong.

        • millsy 3.1.1.1

          ummmm he kinda is…

        • Colonial Viper 3.1.1.2

          Oh so disingenuous…I thought business people like you preferred a low wage labour market. That’s what you brought him in for, right?

        • bbfloyd 3.1.1.3

          so you havn’t listened to a word key has uttered in the last two years then? or heard that the nats are campaigning on selling state assets, which, strangely enough, include power companies.

          are you using the same source of information as the leader of the conservative party? (hat tip; whaleoil)

    • Colonial Viper 3.2

      Good on John for doing this.

      How matey matey blokey blokey 1st name basis, ol’ John-boy, good lad!

      PM makes himself look like an idiot and makes us look like a land of clowns

      Getting significant publicity for NZ tourism at very low cost? Yes.

      PS mate you’re from Queenstown how are those tourism numbers working out for NZ this year? Yeah, I thought so.

      • queenstfarmer 3.2.1

        How matey matey blokey blokey 1st name basis

        Gosh, on that basis I must best matey mates with Winston, Helen, Phil, Hone…

        Tourism is down globally, has been for a while now, which is why creative efforts to generate publicity for low costs should generally be encouraged.

        • Colonial Viper 3.2.1.1

          RESULTS please not lame excuses for lame comedy appearances.

          I’m pretty sure that Key’s effort drove people off NZ, according to the numbers.

        • Ianupnorth 3.2.1.2

          Tourism is down because the NZ$ is strong and the US$ is weak, hence middle class people suddenly find NZ expensive – and Kiwi’s find Europe more value for money!

          Now if he actually thought about sorting our economy (which he has buggered up!)

    • gobsmacked 3.3

      Getting significant publicity for NZ tourism at very low cost

      But that’s extremely easy to do.

      Key could fart into the microphone at the next APEC conference. He could greet Obama with a selection of show tunes from the ‘Black and White Ministrels.’ He could upstage the leaders’ photo by getting drunk and doing a strip tease. He could make a fool of himself in a hundred different ways. Such as … this video.

      It would all create publicity. But … publicity that makes New Zealand look good? Not really.

      Silvio Berlusconi is rarely out of the headlines these days, for his antics. Meanwhile, Italy is in the poo. Go figure.

    • Queenstfarmer – Key’s appearance on Letterman was cringeworthy.

      But then, Americans are used to entertainers becoming politicians – I guess Key tried to reverse that trend.

      Epic fail.

    • Banter 3.5

      i refer you to my comment above. Im sure you would be falling over yourself to congratulate Phil on a job well done. Or would it be as I suspect, a total embarrassment etc etc blah blah. pi$$ off

      • McFlock 3.5.1

        Because if there’s one thing the NZ left are known for, it’s a unified front of pouring obsequious praise on its leadership no matter how badly they perform?
        Question two: are you a complete fucking moron, or just lying out of desperation?

      • Colonial Viper 3.5.2

        Im sure you would be falling over yourself to congratulate Phil on a job well done.

        Main difference is that Prime Minister Goff would have been invited on to the show by Letterman.

  4. Had Letterman asked Key where he usually spends his main holiday? Hawaii would have been the reply.

  5. prism 5

    Radar is funnier. I’ll vote for Radar for PM – he’s very quick and astute.

  6. randal 6

    yeah well I know where they keep the ham!

  7. felix 7

    Love the way they titled it before release to pretend it’s not an audition tape.

    Also love the way Keys pauses in weird places when he’s reading, like he doesn’t really know which bits are meant to be funny.

    It’s like he’s reading in a language he doesn’t understand.

  8. felix 8

    Spud Bolger is the real winner out of all this.

    He finally looks like a statesman.

  9. millsy 9

    When I first saw this, I actually thought it was someone taking the piss…

    • willie maley 9.1

      millsy, someone sent it to me on FB, I did not watch it at first as i thought it was by that guy who makes piss take videos of Key.
      Was I in for a surprise! The guy has no appreciation for the office he holds in this country, what a bollox.

  10. Tel 10

    Well that is definitive proof that the Infinite monkey theorem is wrong, i.e. given enough time, a hypothetical MonKey typing at random would, as part of its output, almost surely produce all of Shakespeare’s plays. All this MonKey typed up was some humourless cue cards for a Chump to read out.

  11. SHG 11

    If it’s embarrassing videos you’re after, check out coverage of Parliament. Sepuloni, Robertson, and Mallard have taken cringeworthiness to a whole new level this week.

    • Mac1 11.1

      SHG, which one of these is our Prime Mincer touting himself around the fairground?

      • SHG 11.1.1

        Translation?

        • Mac1 11.1.1.1

          Which of these three MPs you mention has the responsibility to maintain the dignity and gravitas of the office of Prime Minister, rather than debase it by whoring himself around American entertainment shows or camping it up on catwalks?

          Get that? Because John Key doesn’t, either.

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • Stalled TPP chance for wider discussion
    Failure to get the TPP agreement across the line gives New Zealanders an opportunity to put more pressure on the Government not to sign away our sovereignty, Opposition leader Andrew Little says.“New Zealand land, dairy and medicines are up for… ...
    22 hours ago
  • Will poor TPP dairy outcome stop National selling out our homes?
    After failing to protect the right to stop foreign speculators buying our houses it’s clear the Government is not going to get wins on dairy in their TPP negotiations either, Labour’s Trade and Export spokesperson David Parker says. “Labour has… ...
    2 days ago
  • Feeling aspirational
    Yesterday the Rich List showed the number of people who have over 50 million of wealth had increased by another 15 people since last year. Collectively this group are now worth 55 billion, an increase of over 7% since last… ...
    GreensBy Jan Logie MP
    2 days ago
  • Feeling aspirational
    Yesterday the Rich List showed the number of people who have over 50 million of wealth had increased by another 15 people since last year. Collectively this group are now worth 55 billion, an increase of over 7% since last… ...
    GreensBy Jan Logie MP
    2 days ago
  • Feeling aspirational
    Yesterday the Rich List showed the number of people who have over 50 million of wealth had increased by another 15 people since last year. Collectively this group are now worth 55 billion, an increase of over 7% since last… ...
    GreensBy Jan Logie MP
    2 days ago
  • Bennett’s legacy a test for Tolley
    Former Social Development Minister Paula Bennett has been thrown under the bus by her successor after its been suggested that Ms Bennett gave the green light to an ‘unethical’ observational study of high-risk children, Labour Children’s spokesperson Jacinda Ardern says.… ...
    2 days ago
  • Submission to Greater Christchurch Earthquake Recovery: Transition to Rege...
    Thank you for the opportunity to contribute to the Draft Transition Recovery Plan on behalf of the New Zealand Labour Party.  It is important that the citizens of Canterbury have a voice in the governance of the next step of… ...
    2 days ago
  • Troubled school wanted $25,000 dollars to fence farm
    The troubled Whangaruru charter school asked Hekia Parata for $25,000 to fence the school farm at the expense of spending on teaching, Labour’s Education spokesperson Chris Hipkins says. “This unbelievable revelation comes hard on the heels of Hekia Parata’s decision to… ...
    3 days ago
  • Troubled school wanted $25,000 dollars to fence farm
    The troubled Whangaruru charter school asked Hekia Parata for $25,000 to fence the school farm at the expense of spending on teaching, Labour’s Education spokesperson Chris Hipkins says. “This unbelievable revelation comes hard on the heels of Hekia Parata’s decision to… ...
    3 days ago
  • Government report on sexual & family violence a good first step
    Yesterday the Government released the cabinet paper on progress on the work programme of the Ministerial Group on Family Violence and Sexual Violence. Along with the Human Rights Commissioner and Women’s Refuge, I really welcome the report. I’m relieved that… ...
    GreensBy Jan Logie MP
    3 days ago
  • Government report on sexual & family violence a good first step
    Yesterday the Government released the cabinet paper on progress on the work programme of the Ministerial Group on Family Violence and Sexual Violence. Along with the Human Rights Commissioner and Women’s Refuge, I really welcome the report. I’m relieved that… ...
    GreensBy Jan Logie MP
    3 days ago
  • Prisoner voting disqualification and the Bill of Rights Act
    In 2010, National rammed the Electoral (Disqualification of Sentenced Prisoners) Amendment Bill through Parliament. Paul Quinn’s Member’s Bill existed because Paul Quinn thought anyone who’d been imprisoned was a serious offender, and serious offenders had ‘forfeited’ their right to vote.… ...
    GreensBy David Clendon MP
    3 days ago
  • Mainfreight ‘appalled’ by Government’s rail madness
    The Government has been given a serve by New Zealand-based international trucking and logistics firm Mainfreight which says it lacks a national transport strategy, and has treated rail badly, Labour's Transport spokesperson Phil Twyford says. The company has told shareholders it… ...
    4 days ago
  • National’s Health and Safety Reform Bill: less safety and fewer rights at...
    The New Zealand Council of Trade Unions is embarking on a campaign to fight the changes that weaken the Health and Safety Reform bill. As part of the campaign the CTU has organised vigils with the display of 291 crosses… ...
    GreensBy Denise Roche MP
    4 days ago
  • All options need to be put on meat sector table
    Farmers must be given every assurance that all potential risks have been considered before Silver Fern Farms opens its door to foreign equity, Labour’s Primary Industries spokesperson Damien O’Connor says. “The ongoing saga involving the meat sector and amalgamation has… ...
    4 days ago
  • Flag the referendum if 50% or more don’t vote
    Labour has moved to have the second flag referendum canned if the first attracts fewer than half the eligible number of voters, Opposition Leader Andrew Little says. “John Key has already wasted more than $8 million on his vanity project… ...
    4 days ago
  • 90,000 cars reclassified in botched ACC ratings
    New figures obtained by Labour show the ACC Minister’s botched motor vehicle levy system has resulted in 90,000 vehicles having to be reclassified so far – at a cost of $6 million, Labour’s ACC spokesperson Sue Moroney says. “Nikki Kaye’s… ...
    4 days ago
  • Brutal health cuts confirmed, crucial services suffer
    Chronic under-funding by National has seen the health budget slashed by $1.7 billion in just five years, Labour’s Health spokesperson Annette King says. A report by Infometrics, commissioned by Labour, shows health funding has been cut in four of the… ...
    5 days ago
  • Meth ring under Serco’s nose
    The news that two Serco inmates have been arrested for helping to run a methamphetamine ring from prison should be the final straw and see their contract cancelled, says Labour’s Corrections Spokesperson Kelvin Davis. “National has stood by Serco despite… ...
    5 days ago
  • Ministers failing women and their own targets
    New figures showing just five Ministers have met the Government’s own reduced targets for appointing women to state sector boards is evidence National is failing Kiwi women, Labour’s Women’s Affairs spokesperson Sue Moroney says. “The Ministry for Women’s 2015 Gender… ...
    5 days ago
  • Charges up for some as funding up for grabs
    A proposal being considered by the Government would see some people having to pay more for health care and district health boards forced to fight amongst themselves to fund regional health services, Labour’s Health spokesperson Annette King says “Information leaked… ...
    5 days ago
  • Stop experimenting on kids
    The trouble with the Charter school model is that it is a publicly funded experiment on children. The National Government has consistently put its desire to open charter schools ahead of the safety of the children in them, ignoring repeated… ...
    GreensBy Catherine Delahunty MP
    6 days ago
  • Bank puts the squeeze on mid Canterbury farmers
    News that an unnamed bank in Ashburton has put a receiver on notice over financially vulnerable farmers will send a chill through rural New Zealand, says Labour’s Finance Spokesperson Grant Robertson. “The Government needs to work with  New Zealand’s banks… ...
    6 days ago
  • Key is trading away New Zealand land and homes
    John Key yesterday admitted what National dishonestly refused to confirm in Parliament last week – he is trading away New Zealand’s right to control who buys our homes and land, says Opposition leader Andrew Little. “The Prime Minister must now… ...
    6 days ago
  • Razor gang takes scalpel to health
    Plans by the Government to take a scalpel to democratically elected health boards are deceitful and underhand, coming just months after an election during which they were never signalled, Labour’s Health spokesperson Annette King says “Leaked documents reveals a radical… ...
    6 days ago
  • Spin lines show a department in chaos
    Corrections Spin Doctors sending their place holder lines to journalists instead of responding to serious allegations shows the scale of chaos at the department over the Serco scandal, says Labour’s Corrections Spokesperson Kelvin Davis. “As more and more serious allegations… ...
    1 week ago
  • Court ruling shows law should never have been passed
    A High Court ruling that a law banning prisoners from voting is inconsistent with a properly functioning democracy should be a wake-up call for the Government, Labour’s Justice spokesperson Jacinda Ardern says. In an unprecedented ruling Justice Paul Heath has… ...
    1 week ago
  • Judicial Review Gamble Pays Off for Problem Gambling Foundation
    Congratulations are due to the Problem Gambling Foundation (PGFNZ) who have won their legal case around how the Ministry of Health decided to award their contracts for problem gambling services to another service provider. Congratulations are due not just for… ...
    GreensBy Denise Roche MP
    1 week ago
  • Environmental Protection Agency appoints GE advocate as new CEO
    This week, the Environmental Protection Authority Amendment Bill passed its first reading in Parliament. The Bill puts protection of the environment into the core purpose of the Environmental Protection Authority. This month, Dr Allan Freeth, the former Chief Executive of… ...
    GreensBy Steffan Browning MP
    1 week ago
  • Charanpreet Dhaliwal death demands genuine health and safety reform
    The killing of a security guard on his first night on the job is exactly the kind of incident that National’s watered-down health and safety bill won’t prevent, says Te Atatu MP Phil Twyford. The coronial inquest into 22-year-old Charanpreet… ...
    1 week ago
  • Arbitrary sanctions hit children hardest
    Increasing numbers of single parents are being penalised under a regime that is overly focussed on sanctions rather than getting more people into work, Labour’s Social Development spokesperson Carmel Sepuloni says. “Figures, obtained through Parliamentary questions show 3000 more sanctions,… ...
    1 week ago
  • Hekia just won’t face the facts
    Hekia Parata’s decision to keep troubled Whangaruru Charter school open despite being presented with a catalogue of failure defies belief, goes against official advice and breaks a Government promise to close these schools if they were failing, says Labour’s Education… ...
    1 week ago
  • No more silent witnesses
    Yesterday I attended the launch of a new initiative developed by and for Asian, Middle eastern and African youth to support young people to name and get support if there is domestic violence at home. The impact on children of… ...
    GreensBy Jan Logie MP
    1 week ago
  • Single Use Plastic Bags campaign – Some wins and some green-washing
    As we near the end of Plastic Free July I’m nearing the conclusion of my Say No To Plastic Bag tour when I will have completed all 30 of my public meetings. The campaign was designed to work with community… ...
    GreensBy Denise Roche MP
    1 week ago
  • Single Use Plastic Bags campaign – Some wins and some green-washing
    As we near the end of Plastic Free July I’m nearing the conclusion of my Say No To Plastic Bag tour when I will have completed all 30 of my public meetings. The campaign was designed to work with community… ...
    GreensBy Denise Roche MP
    1 week ago
  • Minister must take responsibility for problem gambling debacle
    The Government’s handling of the Problem Gambling Foundation’s axing in a cost-cutting exercise has been ham-fisted and harmful to some of the most vulnerable people in society, Associate Health Labour spokesperson David Clark says.“Today’s court ruling overturning the axing of… ...
    1 week ago
  • Labour will not support TPP if it undermines NZ sovereignty
    The Labour Party will not support the Trans Pacific Partnership Agreement unless key protections for New Zealanders are met, Opposition leader Andrew Little says.“Labour supports free trade. However, we will not support a TPP agreement that undermines New Zealand’s sovereignty. ...
    1 week ago
  • Coleman can’t ignore latest warnings
    Resident doctors have advised that a severe staffing shortage at North Shore Hospital is putting patients’ lives at risk, Labour’s Health spokesperson Annette King says. “They say a mismatch between staffing levels and patient workloads at North Shore has… ...
    1 week ago
  • ACC must remove barriers to appeals
    The Government must prioritise removing barriers to justice for ACC claimants following a damning report by Acclaim Otago, Labour’s ACC spokesperson Sue Moroney says. “ACC Minister Nikki Kaye must urgently scrap her flawed plan to remove claimant’s right to redress… ...
    1 week ago
  • Six months’ paid parental leave back on the agenda
    Six months’ paid parental leave is back on the agenda and a step closer to reality for Kiwi parents after Labour’s new Member’s Bill was pulled from today’s ballot, the Bill’s sponsor and Labour MP Sue Moroney says. “My Bill… ...
    1 week ago
  • Sole parents at risk of having no income
    New requirements for sole parents to undertake a reapplication process after a year is likely to mean a large number will face benefit cancellations, but not because they have obtained work, Labour’s Social Development spokesperson Carmel Sepuloni says. “Increasing numbers… ...
    1 week ago
  • Juking the Welfare Stats Again
    Last week the government’s major initiative to combat child poverty (a paltry $25 increase) was exposed for what it is, a lie. The Government, through the Budget this year, claims to be engaging in the child poverty debate, but instead,… ...
    GreensBy Jan Logie MP
    1 week ago
  • OCR rate cut a result of flagging economy
    The Reserve Bank's decision to cut the Official Cash Rate to 3 per cent shows there is no encore for the so-called 'rock star' economy, says Labour's Finance Spokesperson Grant Robertson.   "Today's interest rate cut comes off the back… ...
    1 week ago
  • Reboot to an innovation economy, an Internet economy and a clean economy
    In my short 33 years on this planet we’ve seen phenomenal technological, economic and social change, and it’s realistic to expect the next 33 will see even more, even faster change. You can see it in the non-descript warehouse near… ...
    GreensBy Gareth Hughes MP
    2 weeks ago
  • Bill that puts the environment into the EPA passes first hurdle
    A Bill that puts the environment squarely into legislation governing the Environmental Protection Authority passed its first reading today, says Meka Whaitiri.  “I introduced this member’s bill as the current law doesn’t actually make protecting the environment a goal of… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Key’s KiwiSaver deception exposed
    KiwiSaver statistics released today expose John Key's claim that the cutting of the kickstart payment "will not make a blind bit of difference to the number of people who join KiwiSaver” to be duplicitous, says Labour Finance Spokesperson Grant Robertson.  “Official… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Minimum Wage Amendment Bill to protect contractors
    All New Zealanders should be treated fairly at work. Currently, the law allows non-employment relationships to be used to get around the minimum wage. This is unfair, says Labour MP David Parker. “The Minimum Wage (Contractor Remuneration) Amendment Bill, a… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Bill raises bar to protect Kiwi farmland
    The Government’s rubber-stamping of every one of the nearly 400 applications from overseas investors to buy New Zealand farm land over the last three years proves tougher laws are needed, Labour MP Phil Goff says. “In the last term of… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Costly flag referendum should be dumped
    John Key must ditch the flag referendum before any more taxpayer money is wasted, Opposition Leader Andrew Little says. “Millions of dollars could be saved if the Prime Minister called a halt to this hugely expensive, and highly unpopular, vanity… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Nats letting Serco off scot free
    Government members have prevented Parliament’s Law and Order select committee from getting answers out of a senior Serco director about the fight clubs being run at Mt Eden prisons, says Labour’s Corrections Spokesperson Kelvin Davis. “At today’s Law and Order… ...
    2 weeks ago

Public service advertisements by The Standard

Current CO2 level in the atmosphere