A good time for that plan to end whaling

Written By: - Date published: 8:31 am, July 6th, 2012 - 58 comments
Categories: Conservation - Tags:

Remember back in February 2010 when John Key announced that he had a super-secret plan to end whaling? I’m sure there’s some real clever strategy behind why nothing has come of it so far and Key never mentions it. But I think, now that he’s called South Korea’s plan to restart ‘scientific whaling’ “abhorrent“, it might be time to unveil the plan. It is real, eh?

58 comments on “A good time for that plan to end whaling”

  1. Clashman 1

    Of course its real but it will only work on ‘Japanese whaling in the Southern Pacific, it couldn’t possibly work on Korea whaling in the North Pacific.’ Wait for it….

  2. Pretty fucking silly, no?

    You expect John Key to be able to stop a sovereign nation from doing what it wants?

    • Kotahi Tane Huna 2.1

      Personally, I expect John Key to be utterly incompetent, to over-promise and under-deliver in every area. So far he has lived up to expectations.

      • Well, whatever. But criticising him for being unable to stop South Korea from whaling is pretty fucking ridiculous.

        • Kotahi Tane Huna

          Having comprehension problems today much? The post criticises him for being a self-aggrandising, attention-seeking lightweight, not for whatever feeble strawman you made up.

        • Psycho Milt

          Actually, they’re criticising him for claiming he had a secret plan to end whaling but not actually having one.

          • TheContrarian

            Yeah because he fucking can’t, no one can.

            • Kotahi Tane Huna

              “Last week the whaling fleet abandoned its annual hunt for a second year in a row.”

              Someone can – not everyone is as utterly ineffectual as that mendacious wretch, the Prime Minister.

              • Perhaps John Key isn’t a very good sailor? 

                (By ‘no one’ I mean no NZ politician is able to dictate terms to foreign power – i.e S.Korea will whale if they wanna)

                • Kotahi Tane Huna

                  I question your logic: a ban on whaling could form part of NZ’s negotiating stance on free trade agreements, for example. That wouldn’t be “dictating terms” but it would apply pressure.

                  But that isn’t the topic of the post: the topic of the post is yet another example of the yawning bottomless – and quite unbridgeable – chasm between John Key’s hype and his true abilities.

                  • I question my logic every time I think it a good idea to comment at The Standard.

                    But that isn’t the topic of the post: the topic of the post is yet another example of the yawning bottomless – and quite unbridgeable – chasm between John Key’s hype and his true abilities.”

                    There are much better examples than this. You know, examples that aren’t nit-picky, pointless and stupid.

                    • Te Reo Putake

                      Jeez, you’re having another bad day, aren’t you? Just because you don’t see the relevance, doesn’t mean there isn’t relevence. Key’s stance on whaling is topical, hence the post; it’s related to a significant news item leading all the media today. That’s how blogging works. You might want to ponder that if you ever want to write a popular blog yourself.
                      Still, it’s good that you have better examples. Would you mind sharing them with us?

                    • I am having a great day. Awesome in fact, I am engaging you fine folk. What could be better.

                      Better examples would be anything that Key actually has control over. Hint: Not South Korea.

                    • Kotahi Tane Huna

                      “…anything that Key actually has control over…”

                      You mean like say, a diplomatic initiative? You know, like the one he claimed to have?

                    • Yeah but South Korea will still say “get fucked” no matter who asks.

                      So I repeat:
                      Better examples would be anything that Key actually has control over. Hint: Not South Korea.  

                    • Te Reo Putake

                      So, despite saying you have examples, you, er, don’t?
                      And you clearly still haven’t worked out what the post is about? Hint: it’s might well be about Key big noting about the things he will do, despite having, as you say, no control over the actual outcomes. And no real intention to follow through anyway.

                    • So, despite saying you have examples, you, er, don’t?
                      Anything that Key actually has control over – take your pick of his failures there are many.

                      And no real intention to follow through anyway. 
                      So you know he didn’t actually do anything, had no plan, didn’t intend to do anything and didn’t fail at it which is why he doesn’t mention it. Amazing stuff!

                    • Kotahi Tane Huna

                      Are you naturally dense, TheContrarian? Or are you faking it?

                      It’s obvious what this post is about, and it’s been explained to you several times. I don’t really see how anyone can help you other than to suggest that you re-read the thread.

                    • Yes I know and as I said, its fucking stupid.

                      The Standard is full of examples of John Key fucking up on things he has promised that he has some sort of control over. John Key has no control over South Korea.

                      But fuck it, I have a business plan to make cheese from whales milk.

                    • Kotahi Tane Huna

                      As I said, you are having much comprehension problems today.

                      Bignoting, lack of credibility, self-aggrandisement, attention-seeking.


                    • Bignoting, lack of credibility, self-aggrandisement, attention-seeking. 

                      And this is different from any other politician how?

                      This article should just read “Politician has plan, plan failed,  politician no longer talks about plan”.

                    • Kotahi Tane Huna

                      “…this is different from any other politician how?”

                      In scale.

                    • Indeed, John Key is the only Prime Minister to have ever promised a “potential solution” to something and not followed though.

                    • lprent

                      There are much better examples than this.

                      There are two things that interest me about this topic.

                      1. Key has a tendency to be a big note bullshit artist. Like the cycleway and a other examples, this is where he made a throwaway comment about something that he had very little understanding on to try to make himself look like he knew what he was doing. It is very clear that he didn’t.

                        I’d say that kind of stupid dumbarse action is exactly what voters need to know about when they decide if they want to trust him. I’m somewhat puzzled that you think that Key being a bullshitting braggart isn’t important?

                      2. Key seems to have a horrible tendency to pick dingbats that he owes favours to for important jobs. Murray McCully is clearly one of them and he is where the original bullshit probably started. I find that lack of judgement (and control) about his ministers rather surprising. But I guess that I’m used to have a PM who is somewhat more competent than Key.
                    • I’m somewhat puzzled that you think that Key being a bullshitting braggart isn’t important?

                      I never said that. I am trying to point out that Key, regardless of plan worthiness, stated he had a potential solution which may or may not work.
                      Plan didn’t work

                      Happens all the time to every politician, prime minister or president. 

                    • Kotahi Tane Huna

                      “Happens all the time”

                      Perhaps you can recall a single example of Key having a “potential plan” (god forbid an actual one) that has worked.

                      A single aspiration that has been matched in the real world?

                      No-one makes things work 100% of the time, but Key makes things work 0% of the time, and then he’s off on the next aspirational fucking fantasy.

                  • “Perhaps you can recall a single example of Key having a “potential plan” (god forbid an actual one) that has worked.”

                    That’s the fucking point dude, Key’s plans have all failed you say so highlight the ones he can actually control (the economy, education, the exodus to Aus etc etc).

                    Can John Key control a sovereign nations decision  to hunt whale? No.
                    Can John Key better the NZ economy? Yes. 

                    • Kotahi Tane Huna

                      I’ll try again: “topical”. “Significant news item”.

                      Do either of these phrases ring any bells?

                    • They ring no bells. But they do make a buzzing sound which I thought was my phone vibrating.

                    • McFlock

                      You outdo yourself today, cont.
                      Never have so simple points been missed so diligently by someone so convinced of their own intelligence. 

                    • Querying whether the point made is effective or worthwhile =/= misunderstanding.

                    • McFlock

                      You miss the point of the point, was my point. 

                    • My point is that your point about your point is irrelevant to the point at hand which is there is no point

                    • McFlock

                      The pointlessness of debating the point of a point about a point that has a similar point to other points made by the prime pointer could lead one to make comments that are quite pointed about the disappointment one feels at the poverty of perception that the self-appointed point pontificator possesses.
                      Point taken? 

                      [lprent: have you been watching Yes Minister on quickflix? That was like reading Sir Humphrey’s explanation about why a new hospital fully staffed with administrators, but no medical staff was highly efficient. ]

            • QoT

              So … why did he promise to, then? (Wait, sorry, that’s me trying to bring you to the point of the post, carry on and forget I said anything.)

    • Deano 2.2

      The only one who has said that John Key has a plan to stop whaling is…. um.. let me see… oh, yes… John key.

    • felix 2.3

      One paragraph, TheContrarian, one paragraph of three and a half lines. Even you ought to be able to navigate the intricacies of that.

      • If I ever meet you in person I am going to vomit on you

        [lprent: I’d class that a incipient threat. Confine yourself to opinion rather than describing your actions towards someone else, and please make a point to go with the abuse (see the policy) ]

        • bbfloyd

          Little cont….. the place to work out your problems is in the offices of a qualified psychiatrist… As far as i can tell, the standard doesn’t offer counselling services for severe emotional damage, and it’s subsequent symptoms….

          I think you may be ringing the wrong number…….

    • mike e 2.4

      TCespecially when he can’t stop himself lying

  3. higherstandard 3

    The full plan in all its glory is here.

  4. vto 4

    Hmmm, seems Key did suggest that he has a solution… and I think I’ve got it…

    Use some asset sales income to buy a big chunk of earthquake wrecked Canterbury land near the sea (say, Pines Beach beside the Waimak river), Bypass all RMA requirements and dig out a gigantic hole in the ground which gets flooded with seawater each tide. Install some large gates similar to the ones on his own houses, go borrow Free Willy and a mate for a couple seasons and VOILA …. a whale farm!

    He is a clever man John Key and, using all his previous career experience with building and creating useful things for his fellow manwoman, he will certainly be able to be so entrepreneurial.

    Where would we be with John Key? This is the question…

  5. What plans will Labour/Greens/Winston have following their win in 2014, to counteract all Whaling, which I think is abhorrant.

    • bbfloyd 5.1

      They aren’t that hard to find if you wish to ask them yourself…..It would be more useful than just wasting time with over used, and rather transparent diversionary tactics…

      Is it my imagination, or do tories not possess a gram of independent thought? Or the ability to speak their own words?

      • McFlock 5.1.1

        more to the point, they are probably more realistic about how much impact NZ alone can have – although we should certainly do what we can.
        King Canute attempted to turn back the tide to demonstrate that there is only so much a human being (even a king) can do.
        Prime Minister Key promises to turn back the tide in the early evening, then when the appointed hour arrives he is busy promising sunny weather the next morning, then when morning arrives and it’s raining he promises to stop the roof leaking, and instead of fixing the roof he blames the French (or rather in this case, the Greeks).

    • mike e 5.2

      Winston will scamper over their and smoke them out.

  6. Sunny 6

    I sort of remember that Muldoon used to say that he too had a ‘secret plan’…it was to negotiate an end to the French nuclear testing in the Pacific. (Lies of course but he used to say it when other people with real plans, and principles, were actively doing something about it)

  7. Rusty Shackleford 7

    Koreans don’t like or eat that much whale anyway. It’s already available in most cities if you want to eat it, but I’ve never seen anyone eating it when I’ve passed those restaurants. It’s considered a Japanese thing and the average Korean hates Japanese people.

    So, yes. The article is correct. John Key is a politician (ie. makes a lot of noise. Over promises, under delivers). But, we already knew that. The impact on reality will be nil. This isn’t going to cause millions of whales to be plucked from the sea. Likely, it will merely legitimise the few that are currently being caught. Which is probably a good thing from a health and safety perspective.

    And, whale tastes like shit. The Japanese only continue to push the point because western powers say they are not allowed to catch them. Gotta save face and all that. If we just ignored them they would probably mostly stop doing it.

    Hardly anyone eats whale because it’s expensive and tastes like shit.

  8. mike e 8

    RS Yeah is that why it commands top dollar Koreans will sell it to the Japanese idiot.As we’ve seen with National and Korean fishing boats their quite happy to let them plunder our fisheries until it becomes to unpopular.But even then they just get the slap with the wet bus ticket from National and told you can carry on for the next 4 years and get away with what ever they can .

  9. captain hook 9

    the ROK thinks that because they can make cheap cars then that gives them the right to plunder the earths resources.
    Their rationale is that because of their culture and heritage then it is ok.
    Well let them tell us about their culture and heritage.
    we dont know so lets hear it then.

    • Rusty Shackleford 9.1

      haha, I don’t even really know what this means, but I still kind of agree. 

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