web analytics

Capitalist Ten Commandments

Written By: - Date published: 7:45 pm, September 30th, 2010 - 22 comments
Categories: capitalism, class war, humour - Tags:

From TheCenterForBalance.org via Information Clearing House.

The Capitalist Commandments

1. Do unto others before they do it unto you. Beggar thy neighbor and trade their employments without offset, tariff, or compensation to secure a bountiful profit from the greater slave. Engage the most authoritarian of regimes and let no morality, nor powers of the vast majority, interfere with the greater profits to be had from preserving disparities and all the powers of predation enjoyed by the rich.

2. In all things, see that your capital-defined Efficiency shall remain the only god, and let no morality, freedom nor ecological concern interfere with your divine right to profit and enclose and privatize for your benefit.

3. Thou shalt make money and power thy only god and pursuit, and not suffer any foolish idleness opening one to other occupations or dangerous revelations.

4. To secure thy power, thou shalt not let the people own or control their central banks – despite constitutional purse powers to the contrary – for debt money is the central power and motive force before which all others pale and remain impotent.

5. Thou shalt own and control all media and news dissemination agencies. Let not any editor be elected lest the people influence what they see, hear and read. Let all books, media, and education grow our values exclusively. Let not any fairness doctrine nor any notion of labor-capital “factor” balance interfere with this, our grand design.

6. In all things, thou shalt make Growth and per-capita ruin thy only gods, and defeat Balance at every turn. Thou shalt see that humanity endlessly multiplies. Let no balance of population arise which might serve to pass on the same quantum of freedom, earthly space, natural right and pleasure even to thine own children – as this would destroy our precious and profitable Growth.

7. In all things, thou shalt resist Balance, and both factor and gender equity for I, your male Sky God, have told you so.

8. Let no free commune or cooperative emerge, nor any non-profit venture succeed – for such competition is to be feared and prohibited. Privatize everything as it is your right . Control the reigns of power so the vast majority own no debt-free estate, nor access any means with which they might secure their domestic freedom, independence, and democracy.

9. Let Nature’s realm be conquered and set to your profit purposes. Patent and own all of nature’s pharmacopeia. Change the nature of animals and humans alike to serve your ends. Render off limits those fertile lands and plants by which the masses might enjoy leisure, acquire natural freedom, secure refuge from our Free Market, or stumble upon any revelations of a non-egoic, cooperative, and spiritual nature.

10. Let enclosure reign, for the landless and dependent are fodder for thy greater objectives. Let our Interdependency forever be mediated by the rich and powerful, and secured in the name of an Efficiency serving our ends alone. Seek to destroy any remnants of natural freedom, commonwealth, and domestic independence. Let our Free Market of neo-slavery prevail and thy will profit beyond one’s wildest dreams.

Copyright 2010 – TheCenterForBalance.org

22 comments on “Capitalist Ten Commandments ”

  1. tsmithfield 1

    There have been a number of occasions I have seen people threatened with banning for ascribing opinions on this site to “the standard”. The usual line has been that “the standard” is an inanimate entity that is incapable of opinion. It is the contributors who have the opinions.

    So, just interested in how “the standard” has been attributed with the article above.

    • r0b 1.1

      Sharp spotting there TS! Not much gets by you. Or – does it…


      • tsmithfield 1.1.1

        OK. I get the point. This isn’t the first time. I obviously haven’t picked it up beore.

        Don’t take me wrong, its your site so you can do what you like. However, if “the standard” is simply a blog site, then surely it is a bit weird for it to be capable of opinion?

        I assume that if something is put up by “the standard” it is something that is the unanimous opinion of “the standard’s” authors/owners or whatever. In that case, shouldn’t the credit be given to “the owners of the standard” or whatever?

        • r0b

          it is a bit weird for it to be capable of opinion

          It isn’t capable of opinion – it is capable of reposting the opinions of others. If you look at the link, the other name for “The Standard” author is “Notices and features”. It’s the author for stuff that none of us write (reprinting other people’s articles, announcements, open mike). It’s the author that is used when it isn’t our work / opinions.

          So no, The Standard doesn’t have opinions, but it is a by line for reposting other people’s. I agree that it’s kinda confusing, but that’s the way it is, just one of the odd little quirks of the place. You’ll soon get used to it.

          • tsmithfield

            OK. Fair enough.

          • felix

            Thank Christ tsmithfield thinks it’s fair enough. For a moment there I thought the whole site was going to need taking down.

          • lprent

            I do find that this question gets tiresome as various people ‘discover’ it. The problem is that I cannot think of a better name for what “The Standard” does. It is the catchall for anything that that individual authors (including guest posts) don’t write.

            BTW the commandments are pretty good. But for richness of RWNJ thought, you can’t go past the Rules of Acquisition that guide the ACT party (and their offshoot, the ferengi)

            • felix

              Hmm, maybe just labeling them “Notices and Features” or “Repost” would be a bit clearer.

              Mind you they’d just find some other reason to avoid discussing the post…

        • lprent

          There never has been a unanimous opinion of the people on standard. It is an acknowledged ‘agree to disagree’ zone

          It is currently run by a trust. The nearest it ever got to being owned was when I was forking out the cash for upgraded servers to cope with load increases. The donations made that a minimal even before the advertising that now pays for it. But then I never have been able to contribute much to the posts because of lack of time, so I keep the server running and spend short time slots on moderating

  2. Kleefer 2

    This is quite possibly the biggest pile of garbage I’ve ever read. I honestly have no idea what this author is on about, most of it doesn’t make any sense and I haven’t a clue what “balance” they are referring to. Also, I can’t for the life of me figure out how or why anyone would “take refuge” from a free market because in a free market nobody can force anyone to do anything. Is this piece an accurate representation of the quality of anti-capitalist thinking or are there socialists who can write a sentence that doesn’t contain at least one vague, woolly term that doesn’t actually mean anything?

    • r0b 2.1

      in a free market nobody can force anyone to do anything

      Yeah, no one can be forced to play by the rules of those who own the market. They always have the choice of starving to death instead.

    • Armchair Critic 2.2

      I honestly have no idea what this author is on about, most of it doesn’t make any sense and I haven’t a clue…
      I had no difficulty with it. There’s bound to be a very good reason why you are having trouble understanding it.

    • KJT 2.3

      Seems very obvious to me.

      Pity that reality has a left wing bias!

  3. tsmithfield 3

    There is a command that’s missing from the list above. That’s the command that says:

    “Capitalists sole purpose in life is to funnel their wealth to those who are too lazy to get off their backsides and generate it for themselves.”

    • Logie97 3.1


      perhaps you can advise us all what John Key’s contribution to the production cycle was. I understand he made his wealth moving money around – and none of it his money – he just took risks with other peoples’ money and charged for the service…

    • Vicky32 3.2

      I am sure you’d like to believe that, ts, so as not to have to damn yourself as a parasite! If there’s another commandment it’d be along the lines of “Thou shalt endeavour to make the case for slavery, but in the event of being unable to do that, thou shalt maintain a sufficiently high level of unemployed people that de facto, slavery is what thou shalt achieve”…

  4. Jeremy Harris 4

    You’re not talking about Capitalists there, just the demanders and receivers of corporate welfare…

    Your talk about central banks reveals that, Capitalists support free currency, or at minimum a gold standard…

    The most important principle of Capitalism is that if a business fails it bears the cost, i.e. no bail outs…

    • Croc 4.1

      That’s just like saying we should still try Communism because the Soviet Union and China were never really truly Communist countries in the purest theoretical sense. The trouble with that analysis though is that pure theory rarely, if ever translates into actual reality when human nature is thrown in the mix. The OG article is assessing how Capitalism actually works in society, not how it is supposed to work theoretically, and is therefore still correct and a lot more useful than abstract theory.

  5. Macro 5

    The 10 commandments of the old testament were replaced by one new commandment in the new – that’s one of the reasons why its called the New Testament.
    “Love one another as you would want others to love you”
    And so I give you all a new commandment.You can chuck out all the others – far too confusing…

    “He who dies with the most toys – wins!”

    Let this be your guiding principle.

Links to post

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • NZ announces a third P-3 deployment in support of UN sanctions
    The Government has deployed a Royal New Zealand Air Force P-3K2 Orion (P-3) maritime patrol aircraft to support the implementation of United Nations Security Council (UNSC) resolutions imposing sanctions against North Korea, announced Minister of Foreign Affairs Winston Peters and Minister of Defence Ron Mark. “New Zealand has long supported ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Pacific trade and development agreement a reality
    Pacific regional trade and development agreement PACER Plus will enter into force in 60 days now that the required eight countries have ratified it. Trade and Export Growth Minister David Parker welcomed the announcement that the Cook Islands is the eighth nation to ratify this landmark agreement. “The agreement represents ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Securing a pipeline of teachers
    The Government is changing its approach to teacher recruitment as COVID-19 travel restrictions continue, by boosting a range of initiatives to get more Kiwis into teaching. “When we came into Government, we were faced with a teacher supply crisis,” Education Minister Chris Hipkins said. “Over the past three years, we ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Border exceptions for a small number of international students with visas
    The Government has established a new category that will allow 250 international PhD and postgraduate students to enter New Zealand and continue their studies, in the latest set of border exceptions. “The health, safety and wellbeing of people in New Zealand remains the Government’s top priority. Tight border restrictions remain ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • First COVID-19 vaccine purchase agreement signed
    The Government has signed an agreement to purchase 1.5 million COVID-19 vaccines – enough for 750,000 people – from Pfizer and BioNTech, subject to the vaccine successfully completing all clinical trials and passing regulatory approvals in New Zealand, say Research, Science and Innovation Minister Megan Woods and Health Minister Chris Hipkins. ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • International statement – End-to-end encryption and public safety
    We, the undersigned, support strong encryption, which plays a crucial role in protecting personal data, privacy, intellectual property, trade secrets and cyber security.  It also serves a vital purpose in repressive states to protect journalists, human rights defenders and other vulnerable people, as stated in the 2017 resolution of the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Ministry of Defence Biodefence Assessment released
    The Ministry of Defence has today released a Defence Assessment examining Defence’s role across the spectrum of biological hazards and threats facing New Zealand. Biodefence: Preparing for a New Era of Biological Hazards and Threats looks at how the NZDF supports other agencies’ biodefence activities, and considers the context of ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • New Approaches to Economic Challenges: Confronting Planetary Emergencies: OECD 9 October 2020
    New Approaches to Economic Challenges: Confronting Planetary Emergencies: OECD 9 October 2020 Hon David Parker’s response following Thomas Piketty and Esther Duflo. Good morning, good afternoon, and good evening, wherever in the world you might be. I first acknowledge the excellent thought provoking speeches of Thomas Piketty and Esther ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Kaipara Moana restoration takes next step
    A Memorandum of Understanding has been signed today at Waihāua Marae between the Crown, local iwi and councils to protect, restore and enhance the mauri of Kaipara Moana in Northland. Environment Minister David Parker signed the document on behalf of the Crown along with representatives from Ngā Maunga Whakahī, Ngāti ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • New Zealand and Uruguay unite on reducing livestock production emissions
    Agriculture Minister Damien O’Connor and Uruguayan Minister of Livestock, Agriculture and Fisheries Carlos María Uriarte have welcomed the launch of a three-year project that will underpin sustainable livestock production in Uruguay, Argentina, and Costa Rica.  The project called ‘Innovation for pasture management’ is led by Uruguay’s National Institute of Agricultural ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • 3100 jobs created through marae upgrades
    Hundreds of marae throughout the country will be upgraded through investments from the Provincial Growth Fund’s refocused post COVID-19 funding to create jobs and put money into the pockets of local tradespeople and businesses, Regional Economic Development Minister Shane Jones and Māori Development Minister Nanaia Mahuta have announced. “A total ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Health volunteers recognised in annual awards
    Health Minister Chris Hipkins has announced 9 teams and 14 individuals are the recipients of this year’s Minister of Health Volunteer Awards.  “The health volunteer awards celebrate and recognise the thousands of dedicated health sector volunteers who give many hours of their time to help other New Zealanders,” Mr Hipkins ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Community COVID-19 Fund supports Pacific recovery
    The Minister for Pacific Peoples, Aupito William Sio says a total of 264 groups and individuals have successfully applied for the Pacific Aotearoa Community COVID-19 Recovery Fund, that will support Pacific communities drive their own COVID-19 recovery strategies, initiatives, and actions. “I am keen to see this Fund support Pacific ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Community benefits from Māori apprenticeships
    Up to 50 Māori apprentices in Wellington will receive paid training to build houses for their local communities, thanks to a $2.75 million investment from the Māori Trades and Training Fund, announced Employment Minister Willie Jackson today. “This funding will enable Ngāti Toa Rangatira Incorporated to provide its Ngā Kaimahi ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Training fund supports Māori jobseekers
    Rapidly growing sectors will benefit from a $990,000 Māori Trades and Training Fund investment which will see Wellington jobseekers supported into work, announced Employment Minister Willie Jackson today. “This funding will enable Sapphire Consultants Ltd. to help up to 45 Māori jobseekers into paid training initiatives over two years through ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Ruakura Inland Port development vital infrastructure for Waikato
    The Government is investing $40 million to develop an inland port at Ruakura which will become a freight super-hub and a future business, research and residential development for the Waikato, Urban Development and Transport Minister Phil Twyford, and Māori Development Minister Nanaia Mahuta announced today. The funding has been has ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Appointments made to Defence Expert Review Group
    Defence Minister Ron Mark announced today the establishment of an Expert Review Group to review a number of aspects of the New Zealand Defence Force’s (NZDF) structure, information management and record-keeping processes.  The Expert Review Group’s work arises out of the first recommendation from the Report of the Government’s Inquiry ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • No active community cases of COVID-19
    There are no active community cases of COVID-19 remaining in the country after the last people from the recent outbreak have recovered from the virus, Health Minister Chris Hipkins said today. “This is a big milestone. New Zealanders have once again through their collective actions squashed the virus. The systems ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Clean energy upgrade for more public buildings
    More public buildings will be supported by the Government to upgrade to run on clean energy, the Minister for Climate Change James Shaw announced today. Minister Shaw announced that Lincoln and Auckland universities will receive support through the Clean-Powered Public Service Fund to replace fossil fuel boilers. Southern, Taranaki, and ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Schools back donations scheme for the second year
    More schools have opted in to the donations scheme for 2021, compared to 2020 when the scheme was introduced. “The families of more than 447,000 students will be better off next year, with 94% of eligible schools and kura opting into the scheme,” Education Minister Chris Hipkins said. “This is ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Ruapehu cycle trails gets PGF boost
    The spectacular Mountains to Sea cycle trail in Ruapehu District will receive $4.6 million in funding from the Provincial Growth Fund for two additional trails, Regional Economic Development Minister Shane Jones announced today. “This is an exciting development for the local community, and one that will provide significant economic opportunities ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago