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Capitalist Ten Commandments

Written By: - Date published: 7:45 pm, September 30th, 2010 - 22 comments
Categories: capitalism, class war, humour - Tags:

From TheCenterForBalance.org via Information Clearing House.

The Capitalist Commandments

1. Do unto others before they do it unto you. Beggar thy neighbor and trade their employments without offset, tariff, or compensation to secure a bountiful profit from the greater slave. Engage the most authoritarian of regimes and let no morality, nor powers of the vast majority, interfere with the greater profits to be had from preserving disparities and all the powers of predation enjoyed by the rich.

2. In all things, see that your capital-defined Efficiency shall remain the only god, and let no morality, freedom nor ecological concern interfere with your divine right to profit and enclose and privatize for your benefit.

3. Thou shalt make money and power thy only god and pursuit, and not suffer any foolish idleness opening one to other occupations or dangerous revelations.

4. To secure thy power, thou shalt not let the people own or control their central banks – despite constitutional purse powers to the contrary – for debt money is the central power and motive force before which all others pale and remain impotent.

5. Thou shalt own and control all media and news dissemination agencies. Let not any editor be elected lest the people influence what they see, hear and read. Let all books, media, and education grow our values exclusively. Let not any fairness doctrine nor any notion of labor-capital “factor” balance interfere with this, our grand design.

6. In all things, thou shalt make Growth and per-capita ruin thy only gods, and defeat Balance at every turn. Thou shalt see that humanity endlessly multiplies. Let no balance of population arise which might serve to pass on the same quantum of freedom, earthly space, natural right and pleasure even to thine own children – as this would destroy our precious and profitable Growth.

7. In all things, thou shalt resist Balance, and both factor and gender equity for I, your male Sky God, have told you so.

8. Let no free commune or cooperative emerge, nor any non-profit venture succeed – for such competition is to be feared and prohibited. Privatize everything as it is your right . Control the reigns of power so the vast majority own no debt-free estate, nor access any means with which they might secure their domestic freedom, independence, and democracy.

9. Let Nature’s realm be conquered and set to your profit purposes. Patent and own all of nature’s pharmacopeia. Change the nature of animals and humans alike to serve your ends. Render off limits those fertile lands and plants by which the masses might enjoy leisure, acquire natural freedom, secure refuge from our Free Market, or stumble upon any revelations of a non-egoic, cooperative, and spiritual nature.

10. Let enclosure reign, for the landless and dependent are fodder for thy greater objectives. Let our Interdependency forever be mediated by the rich and powerful, and secured in the name of an Efficiency serving our ends alone. Seek to destroy any remnants of natural freedom, commonwealth, and domestic independence. Let our Free Market of neo-slavery prevail and thy will profit beyond one’s wildest dreams.

Copyright 2010 – TheCenterForBalance.org

22 comments on “Capitalist Ten Commandments ”

  1. tsmithfield 1

    There have been a number of occasions I have seen people threatened with banning for ascribing opinions on this site to “the standard”. The usual line has been that “the standard” is an inanimate entity that is incapable of opinion. It is the contributors who have the opinions.

    So, just interested in how “the standard” has been attributed with the article above.

    • r0b 1.1

      Sharp spotting there TS! Not much gets by you. Or – does it…

      http://thestandard.org.nz/author/notices%20and%20features/

      • tsmithfield 1.1.1

        OK. I get the point. This isn’t the first time. I obviously haven’t picked it up beore.

        Don’t take me wrong, its your site so you can do what you like. However, if “the standard” is simply a blog site, then surely it is a bit weird for it to be capable of opinion?

        I assume that if something is put up by “the standard” it is something that is the unanimous opinion of “the standard’s” authors/owners or whatever. In that case, shouldn’t the credit be given to “the owners of the standard” or whatever?

        • r0b 1.1.1.1

          it is a bit weird for it to be capable of opinion

          It isn’t capable of opinion – it is capable of reposting the opinions of others. If you look at the link, the other name for “The Standard” author is “Notices and features”. It’s the author for stuff that none of us write (reprinting other people’s articles, announcements, open mike). It’s the author that is used when it isn’t our work / opinions.

          So no, The Standard doesn’t have opinions, but it is a by line for reposting other people’s. I agree that it’s kinda confusing, but that’s the way it is, just one of the odd little quirks of the place. You’ll soon get used to it.

          • tsmithfield 1.1.1.1.1

            OK. Fair enough.

          • felix 1.1.1.1.2

            Thank Christ tsmithfield thinks it’s fair enough. For a moment there I thought the whole site was going to need taking down.

          • lprent 1.1.1.1.3

            I do find that this question gets tiresome as various people ‘discover’ it. The problem is that I cannot think of a better name for what “The Standard” does. It is the catchall for anything that that individual authors (including guest posts) don’t write.

            BTW the commandments are pretty good. But for richness of RWNJ thought, you can’t go past the Rules of Acquisition that guide the ACT party (and their offshoot, the ferengi)

            • felix 1.1.1.1.3.1

              Hmm, maybe just labeling them “Notices and Features” or “Repost” would be a bit clearer.

              Mind you they’d just find some other reason to avoid discussing the post…

        • lprent 1.1.1.2

          There never has been a unanimous opinion of the people on standard. It is an acknowledged ‘agree to disagree’ zone

          It is currently run by a trust. The nearest it ever got to being owned was when I was forking out the cash for upgraded servers to cope with load increases. The donations made that a minimal even before the advertising that now pays for it. But then I never have been able to contribute much to the posts because of lack of time, so I keep the server running and spend short time slots on moderating

  2. Kleefer 2

    This is quite possibly the biggest pile of garbage I’ve ever read. I honestly have no idea what this author is on about, most of it doesn’t make any sense and I haven’t a clue what “balance” they are referring to. Also, I can’t for the life of me figure out how or why anyone would “take refuge” from a free market because in a free market nobody can force anyone to do anything. Is this piece an accurate representation of the quality of anti-capitalist thinking or are there socialists who can write a sentence that doesn’t contain at least one vague, woolly term that doesn’t actually mean anything?

    • r0b 2.1

      in a free market nobody can force anyone to do anything

      Yeah, no one can be forced to play by the rules of those who own the market. They always have the choice of starving to death instead.

    • Armchair Critic 2.2

      I honestly have no idea what this author is on about, most of it doesn’t make any sense and I haven’t a clue…
      I had no difficulty with it. There’s bound to be a very good reason why you are having trouble understanding it.

    • KJT 2.3

      Seems very obvious to me.

      Pity that reality has a left wing bias!

  3. tsmithfield 3

    There is a command that’s missing from the list above. That’s the command that says:

    “Capitalists sole purpose in life is to funnel their wealth to those who are too lazy to get off their backsides and generate it for themselves.”

    • Logie97 3.1

      @ts

      perhaps you can advise us all what John Key’s contribution to the production cycle was. I understand he made his wealth moving money around – and none of it his money – he just took risks with other peoples’ money and charged for the service…

    • Vicky32 3.2

      I am sure you’d like to believe that, ts, so as not to have to damn yourself as a parasite! If there’s another commandment it’d be along the lines of “Thou shalt endeavour to make the case for slavery, but in the event of being unable to do that, thou shalt maintain a sufficiently high level of unemployed people that de facto, slavery is what thou shalt achieve”…

  4. Jeremy Harris 4

    You’re not talking about Capitalists there, just the demanders and receivers of corporate welfare…

    Your talk about central banks reveals that, Capitalists support free currency, or at minimum a gold standard…

    The most important principle of Capitalism is that if a business fails it bears the cost, i.e. no bail outs…

    • Croc 4.1

      That’s just like saying we should still try Communism because the Soviet Union and China were never really truly Communist countries in the purest theoretical sense. The trouble with that analysis though is that pure theory rarely, if ever translates into actual reality when human nature is thrown in the mix. The OG article is assessing how Capitalism actually works in society, not how it is supposed to work theoretically, and is therefore still correct and a lot more useful than abstract theory.

  5. Macro 5

    The 10 commandments of the old testament were replaced by one new commandment in the new – that’s one of the reasons why its called the New Testament.
    “Love one another as you would want others to love you”
    And so I give you all a new commandment.You can chuck out all the others – far too confusing…

    “He who dies with the most toys – wins!”

    Let this be your guiding principle.

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