Caption competition
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2:15 pm, August 26th, 2014 - 82 comments
Categories: caption contest, john key -
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82 comments on “Caption competition ”
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Proudly showing off national’s achievement in solving the housing crisis, Ta daa, a door. Elect us, and over the course of the next three years, we’re aspirational we might have a wall to go with it.
or
After the peoples republic seized power. ‘It is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known, as I walk in to the crushinator of destiny’.
lol 100+ The Allen
key:..and this armpit here..this is where i keep slater…
key hesitates at the doors of perception..
key:..’i told you my shit doesn’t stink’..
key throws a wobbly…
key throws slater to the wolves..
v.r.w.c. meet in a shipping container..
Come into my boudoir….
Chucker!.
‘
Superstar right-arm spinner John Key deliver’s another “flipper”.
Homeless man in container taunted with sausage by John Key
This way, Judith! Your transport is waiting for you.
Spot the garbage.
Key throws down another wrongun
“Im singing in the drain, just singing in the drain, what a glorious awning, im campaigning again
First ritchie, now judith in the bin t
And you stare at me
In your Jesus Christ pose
Arms held out
Like you’ve been carrying a load
And you swear to me
You don’t want to be my slave
But you’re staring at me
Like I need to be saved
In your Jesus Christ pose
Arms held out
In your Jesus Christ pose
Thorns and shroud
Like it’s the coming of the Lord
And I swear to you
That I would never feed you pain
But you’re staring at me
Like I’m driving the nails
In your Jesus Christ pose
And you stare at me
In your Jesus Christ pose
Arms held out like it’s
The coming of the Lord
And would it pay you more to walk on water
Than to wear a crown of thorns
It wouldn’t pain me more to bury you rich
Than to bury you poor
In your Jesus Christ pose
“Bennett ? ” The PM was asked
“yeah its like throwing sausage into a shipping container”
He replied
Two great quotes from Richie Benaud work well
“The key thing was to learn the value of economy with words and to never insult the viewer by telling them what they can already see.”
“Captaincy is 90 per cent luck and 10 per cent skill. But don’t try it without that 10 per cent.”
Welcome to my country. Please put all your money in the red bins.
Come here i have found Hagers latest cosigment of books!
key pirouettes into a metal-closet…
Key lets Crusher out
key feeds crusher..?
FIGJAM
Hey you guys, come over here quick and watch Crusher and Bennie mud wrestling for my office!
It’s not true that Judith Collins has me by the nuts. Look, I’ve got them right here in my hand.
@ Te Reo Putake:
Oh No ! This is my sausage ! She must have them after all !
Got em
Yes
Fuck off Key you are out
“Tosser spotted on election trail.”
Now that I’m known as numbnuts,these kept retracting any way.
New extradition plan, “Come here Kim, I’ve got a bratwurst for you, I’ll just leave it in here….”
Hello Nuwzlund! Come and see my sausage sizzle!
.
.
.
[Now or never!]
.
.
.
[Final clearance in 25 days…at the end of the day!]
Ah yes, this must the the airport exit door. Now, look here, my man, I’m exceptionally busy, and…
JOHN!!!! You forgot to pull the pin on that last one!!!!
“Wills, Kate, can I drag you away from this year’s State Barbecue to show you one of our Affordable Homes? It’s this way…”
“Tra-la la, la la-la. Tra-la la,la la-la. I hear nothing. Tra-la la…”
lol
key pretends to lean to the left..but really still hangs onto the right..
key:..’this is where i throw ministers i have fired/tired of..look..!..there’s anne tolley..!’
Ok first batch of illegals, poor, vulnerable,first home buyers,single mothers dispatched to Nauru……next 500 to be squeezed into container please….move to the back!
Gawd, that’s the problem when I do that right handed salute,,,,,,,my arm locks up…bugger
Ohhhhhhhh look poor people! Call Up the Bennet, Unmuzzle Her…….Unleash the Bennet!
Ok I will distract the press with my miming impression…..Collins, Bennet, stay in the dustbins and don’t come out till the election is over!
Nationals answer to the housing shortage in New Zealand…. One container per family!!!
Yis, I’ve had a good chew of this over the past 10 days, so now watch me chuck it away….
At the new national government policy of stone the poor,,,, Emperor Keys was unsure to give the thumbs up or perhaps the thumbs down? decisions decisions he thought.
Ok,,,,we need moreeeeeeeeeeeee people to get Pete Georges Ego out of that shipping container!
Keys pointed the way to Chinese delegation to buy the whole of the south island,,,after he put their poor into the shipping container.
As Labour had no access to SIS info on their opponents,,,Cunliffe and Goff resorted to hiding in bins to listen to Keys,,and hoped the red topped bin would not give game away.
Bloke at back portacom….Oh gawd fellas…….that fuck wit is back
Another porkie from the PM.
With new govt cutbacks to the New Zealand armed forces,,,,,,Keys proudly showed off the remaining military personnel left,,,,whilst he threw the new stealth hand grenade……..
Fella at back of in portacom…ok,,,I have enough of that poseur….fellas fill those bins with ice cold water and pour it over him..that way he might go away.
Rock, paper, scissors or more cuts?
Animal, vegetable, mineral or Bennet?
Body guard in shades behind keys….”Base code one, he’s shit himself again”
One two three………………….. plie..Pirouettes next week John!
Nothing to see here….move along move..We are just putting the stockpiles on that awkward book into the shipping container……..Now move along.
‘Those feral buggers in Christchurch are forever whinging about their housing problems. Send this lousy container to one of the scum. That will teach them!’
‘Meat is expensive, they say? Let them eat sausage! Look at me! And that will learn them!’
finally losing his cool after repeated questions about his role in ‘Dirty Politics’, key attempted to punch the nearest reporter
John throws another crumb of hope to the adoring masses waiting below with tumbrils and knitting.
Sailing away!
Metal door tries desperately to avoid the shame of being photographed with unhinged corporate raider.
LOL! Brilliant!
Disgraced outgoing PM John Key feeds his poor as mystery man lights his pants on fire.
And in other news: Does anyone know if One News is going to be releasing data from Vote Compass on average voter position relative to party position pre election? If the issue specific stuff they have released so far is anything to go by I think it might help some people wake up, have the confidence to vote on policy and help change the government.
Disclaimer: I know it is unlikely he would ever actually feed his poor.
http://www.patheos.com/blogs/rockbeyondbelief/2013/08/16/youre-supposed-to-actually-toss-the-grenade-away-from-yourself/
You’re Supposed to Actually Toss the Grenade Away from Yourself!
Ensure you are able to throw the grenade far enough away to not get yourself or some unintended target hurt…ya know like a victim whose name will more than likely be made public because there are no such protections in a libel suit.
Key throws bbq left overs to rabbid press!
to try and contain the bad news!
before the door shuts on his corrupt political career!
Just practicing my bowling action to be as good as that thicko, Batsh*t Beckham!
Emperor in New Clothes !
Throws away his barbequed beef because its not cooked in Whale oil!
John key proves to the press he has solved the problem of the homeless and starving in New Zealand by tossing in a piece of half eaten sausage he no longer wants to those people he has moved into a set of old rusty shipping containers rented to them by a family trust partly belonging to his wife and children.
xox
Hey you Guys! ( scummy media types)
” Ready for my Ascension to Planet Key photograph?”
xox
Don’t look back John, you’re being shadowed.
xox
Sausage in the Sea! Are you a total illiterate?
ALIEN ALERT: Key’s devilspawn trident tail revealed on camera for first time.
Hey Paula come and look, Judith’s swamp kauri coffins back from China.
Now I’ll just chuck in some tax cuts. Hey Bill, the policy containers still pretty empty.
I’m throwing bullshit to my followers, they love it. Plenty more to come o ye faithful.
There’s John Key standing at leg slip with his legs wide apart, waiting for a tickle…….
In response to the revelations about the links between the Right Wing Whale Oil blogsite and the National Party, John Key stands at the door of a well known centrist website and tries to throw mud at it.
Yes I think I think I have created a new CARGO CULT out of the NZ voter
They still believe my Trickledown bullshit is real
Smiling puppet obediently serves ruling class masters.