Caption competition

Written By: - Date published: 2:15 pm, August 26th, 2014 - 82 comments
Categories: caption contest, john key - Tags:

key-throwing-sausage
 
WTF?

82 comments on “Caption competition”

  1. Proudly showing off national’s achievement in solving the housing crisis, Ta daa, a door. Elect us, and over the course of the next three years, we’re aspirational we might have a wall to go with it.

    or

    After the peoples republic seized power. ‘It is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known, as I walk in to the crushinator of destiny’.

  2. key:..and this armpit here..this is where i keep slater…

  3. key hesitates at the doors of perception..

  4. key:..’i told you my shit doesn’t stink’..

  5. key throws a wobbly…

  6. key throws slater to the wolves..

  7. v.r.w.c. meet in a shipping container..

  8. Anne 8

    Come into my boudoir….

  9. joe90 9

    Chucker!.

  10. BLiP 10

    Superstar right-arm spinner John Key deliver’s another “flipper”.

  11. Tel 11

    Homeless man in container taunted with sausage by John Key

  12. Tautoko Viper 12

    This way, Judith! Your transport is waiting for you.

  13. Tel 13

    Spot the garbage.

  14. Tracey 14

    Key throws down another wrongun

    “Im singing in the drain, just singing in the drain, what a glorious awning, im campaigning again

  15. Tracey 15

    First ritchie, now judith in the bin t

  16. minarch 16

    And you stare at me
    In your Jesus Christ pose
    Arms held out
    Like you’ve been carrying a load
    And you swear to me
    You don’t want to be my slave
    But you’re staring at me
    Like I need to be saved
    In your Jesus Christ pose
    Arms held out
    In your Jesus Christ pose
    Thorns and shroud
    Like it’s the coming of the Lord
    And I swear to you
    That I would never feed you pain
    But you’re staring at me
    Like I’m driving the nails
    In your Jesus Christ pose
    And you stare at me
    In your Jesus Christ pose
    Arms held out like it’s
    The coming of the Lord
    And would it pay you more to walk on water
    Than to wear a crown of thorns
    It wouldn’t pain me more to bury you rich
    Than to bury you poor
    In your Jesus Christ pose

  17. minarch 17

    “Bennett ? ” The PM was asked

    “yeah its like throwing sausage into a shipping container”

    He replied

  18. tinfoilhat 18

    Two great quotes from Richie Benaud work well

    “The key thing was to learn the value of economy with words and to never insult the viewer by telling them what they can already see.”

    “Captaincy is 90 per cent luck and 10 per cent skill. But don’t try it without that 10 per cent.”

  19. Jag 19

    Welcome to my country. Please put all your money in the red bins.

  20. tricledrown 20

    Come here i have found Hagers latest cosigment of books!

  21. key pirouettes into a metal-closet…

  22. risildowgtn 22

    Key lets Crusher out

  23. adam 23

    FIGJAM

  24. Clemgeopin 24

    Hey you guys, come over here quick and watch Crusher and Bennie mud wrestling for my office!

  25. Te Reo Putake 25

    It’s not true that Judith Collins has me by the nuts. Look, I’ve got them right here in my hand.

  26. Enough is Enough 26

    Got em

    Yes

    Fuck off Key you are out

  27. repateet 27

    “Tosser spotted on election trail.”

  28. left for dead 28

    Now that I’m known as numbnuts,these kept retracting any way.

  29. Bob 29

    New extradition plan, “Come here Kim, I’ve got a bratwurst for you, I’ll just leave it in here….”

  30. Clemgeopin 30

    Hello Nuwzlund! Come and see my sausage sizzle!
    .
    .
    .

    [Now or never!]
    .
    .
    .

    [Final clearance in 25 days…at the end of the day!]

  31. Thinker 31

    Ah yes, this must the the airport exit door. Now, look here, my man, I’m exceptionally busy, and…

  32. Thinker 32

    JOHN!!!! You forgot to pull the pin on that last one!!!!

  33. Thinker 33

    “Wills, Kate, can I drag you away from this year’s State Barbecue to show you one of our Affordable Homes? It’s this way…”

  34. “Tra-la la, la la-la. Tra-la la,la la-la. I hear nothing. Tra-la la…”

  35. key pretends to lean to the left..but really still hangs onto the right..

  36. key:..’this is where i throw ministers i have fired/tired of..look..!..there’s anne tolley..!’

  37. Ecosse_Maidy 37

    Ok first batch of illegals, poor, vulnerable,first home buyers,single mothers dispatched to Nauru……next 500 to be squeezed into container please….move to the back!

  38. Ecosse_Maidy 38

    Gawd, that’s the problem when I do that right handed salute,,,,,,,my arm locks up…bugger

  39. Ecosse_Maidy 39

    Ohhhhhhhh look poor people! Call Up the Bennet, Unmuzzle Her…….Unleash the Bennet!

  40. Ecosse_Maidy 40

    Ok I will distract the press with my miming impression…..Collins, Bennet, stay in the dustbins and don’t come out till the election is over!

  41. Ecosse_Maidy 41

    Nationals answer to the housing shortage in New Zealand…. One container per family!!!

  42. Yis, I’ve had a good chew of this over the past 10 days, so now watch me chuck it away….

  43. Ecosse_Maidy 43

    At the new national government policy of stone the poor,,,, Emperor Keys was unsure to give the thumbs up or perhaps the thumbs down? decisions decisions he thought.

  44. Ecosse_Maidy 44

    Ok,,,,we need moreeeeeeeeeeeee people to get Pete Georges Ego out of that shipping container!

  45. Ecosse_Maidy 45

    Keys pointed the way to Chinese delegation to buy the whole of the south island,,,after he put their poor into the shipping container.

  46. Ecosse_Maidy 46

    As Labour had no access to SIS info on their opponents,,,Cunliffe and Goff resorted to hiding in bins to listen to Keys,,and hoped the red topped bin would not give game away.

  47. Ecosse_Maidy 47

    Bloke at back portacom….Oh gawd fellas…….that fuck wit is back

  48. Inky 48

    Another porkie from the PM.

  49. Ecosse_Maidy 49

    With new govt cutbacks to the New Zealand armed forces,,,,,,Keys proudly showed off the remaining military personnel left,,,,whilst he threw the new stealth hand grenade……..

  50. Ecosse_Maidy 50

    Fella at back of in portacom…ok,,,I have enough of that poseur….fellas fill those bins with ice cold water and pour it over him..that way he might go away.

  51. Ecosse_Maidy 51

    Rock, paper, scissors or more cuts?

  52. Ecosse_Maidy 52

    Animal, vegetable, mineral or Bennet?

  53. Ecosse_Maidy 53

    Body guard in shades behind keys….”Base code one, he’s shit himself again”

  54. Ecosse_Maidy 54

    One two three………………….. plie..Pirouettes next week John!

  55. Ecosse_Maidy 55

    Nothing to see here….move along move..We are just putting the stockpiles on that awkward book into the shipping container……..Now move along.

  56. Ben Adam 56

    ‘Those feral buggers in Christchurch are forever whinging about their housing problems. Send this lousy container to one of the scum. That will teach them!’

    ‘Meat is expensive, they say? Let them eat sausage! Look at me! And that will learn them!’

  57. finally losing his cool after repeated questions about his role in ‘Dirty Politics’, key attempted to punch the nearest reporter

  58. Mac1 58

    John throws another crumb of hope to the adoring masses waiting below with tumbrils and knitting.

  59. JanM 59

    Sailing away!

  60. the pigman 60

    Metal door tries desperately to avoid the shame of being photographed with unhinged corporate raider.

  61. Toby 61

    Disgraced outgoing PM John Key feeds his poor as mystery man lights his pants on fire.

    And in other news: Does anyone know if One News is going to be releasing data from Vote Compass on average voter position relative to party position pre election? If the issue specific stuff they have released so far is anything to go by I think it might help some people wake up, have the confidence to vote on policy and help change the government.

    Disclaimer: I know it is unlikely he would ever actually feed his poor.

  62. A Ken Shuns Joy 62

    http://www.patheos.com/blogs/rockbeyondbelief/2013/08/16/youre-supposed-to-actually-toss-the-grenade-away-from-yourself/

    You’re Supposed to Actually Toss the Grenade Away from Yourself!

    Ensure you are able to throw the grenade far enough away to not get yourself or some unintended target hurt…ya know like a victim whose name will more than likely be made public because there are no such protections in a libel suit.

  63. tricledrown 63

    Key throws bbq left overs to rabbid press!
    to try and contain the bad news!
    before the door shuts on his corrupt political career!

  64. Ben Adam 64

    Just practicing my bowling action to be as good as that thicko, Batsh*t Beckham!

  65. tricledrown 65

    Emperor in New Clothes !
    Throws away his barbequed beef because its not cooked in Whale oil!

  66. NZJester 66

    John key proves to the press he has solved the problem of the homeless and starving in New Zealand by tossing in a piece of half eaten sausage he no longer wants to those people he has moved into a set of old rusty shipping containers rented to them by a family trust partly belonging to his wife and children.

  67. philj 67

    xox

    Hey you Guys! ( scummy media types)

    ” Ready for my Ascension to Planet Key photograph?”

  68. philj 68

    xox
    Don’t look back John, you’re being shadowed.

  69. philj 69

    xox
    Sausage in the Sea! Are you a total illiterate?

  70. yeshe 70

    ALIEN ALERT: Key’s devilspawn trident tail revealed on camera for first time.

  71. Jag 71

    Hey Paula come and look, Judith’s swamp kauri coffins back from China.

  72. Jag 72

    Now I’ll just chuck in some tax cuts. Hey Bill, the policy containers still pretty empty.

  73. rod 73

    I’m throwing bullshit to my followers, they love it. Plenty more to come o ye faithful.

  74. Ecosse_Maidy 74

    There’s John Key standing at leg slip with his legs wide apart, waiting for a tickle…….

  75. Jenny 75

    In response to the revelations about the links between the Right Wing Whale Oil blogsite and the National Party, John Key stands at the door of a well known centrist website and tries to throw mud at it.

  76. the voter 76

    Yes I think I think I have created a new CARGO CULT out of the NZ voter
    They still believe my Trickledown bullshit is real

  77. Andrew 77

    Smiling puppet obediently serves ruling class masters.

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    Property developers think there is an "oversupply" of houses in Auckland:High turnover rates and falling prices may be a sign that there are too many new houses going in to some parts of Auckland, commentators say. [...] Property developer David Whitburn said there was a "bit of an oversupply" in ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • Australia to Pacific: “Fuck you, you can all drown”
    World leaders are meeting in New York in two weeks for the 2019 Climate Action Summit, where they are expected to announce new and more ambitious targets to stop the world from burning. But the Australian Prime Minister won't be there, despite being in the USA at the time:Scott Morrison ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • Implausible ignorance
    Labour Party president Nigel Haworth resigned yesterday over the party's sexual assault scandal. But while that's good news, its unlikely to take away the stench of a coverup. Because according to Paula Bennett in Parliament yesterday, pretty much everyone in the Prime Minister's office was involved as well:I have been ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • Labour’s Fatal Flaw.
     Two-Faced? Labour insiders' commitment to the neoliberal status quo puts them at odds with their party’s membership; its trade union affiliates; and a majority of Labour voters, but this only serves to strengthen the perception they have of themselves as a special elite. Among the lesser breeds, they’ll talk up a ...
    1 week ago
  • Ten reasons the Tories do NOT want an election
    There has been a lot of talk about Boris Johnson wanting an election, and he has blustered with great gusto about 'chicken' Jeremy Corbyn refusing one, but I think there are many reasons why he is secretly glad he has been refused the opportunity:The Tories are an utter rabble,tearing themselves ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Prorogation Illegal, rule Scottish judges
    Scottish appeal court judges have declared that Boris Johnson’s decision to suspend parliament in the run-up to the October Brexit deadline is unlawful. The three judges, chaired by Lord Carloway, Scotland’s most senior judge, overturned an earlier ruling that the courts did not have the powers to interfere in the prime ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Let me explain what I meant by Everyday New Zealanders
    By Simon Bridges. The following is a press release from the office of Simon Bridges, leader of The National Party. Key ora, New Zealand. Happy Maori Language Week. Look, I’m writing to you today because I want to clear something up. There’s been a lot of kerfuffle around some things ...
    The CivilianBy admin
    2 weeks ago
  • Yes, the SIS is subject to the Public Records Act
    I understand there's some stuff going round about how the SIS "was removed from the list of public offices covered by the Public Records Act in 2017". The context of course being their records derived from US torture, which will be disposed of or sealed. The good news is that ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • An evidence-based discussion of the Canadian fluoride/IQ study
    Dr. Christopher Labos and Jonathan Jarry discuss the recent Canadian fluoride/IQ research. They provide an expert analysis of the paper and its problems. Click on image to go to podcast. The critical debate about the recent ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Climate Change: Australia in denial
    Australia is burning down again, and meanwhile its natural disaster minister is denying climate change:Australia’s minister responsible for drought and natural disasters, David Littleproud, has said that he doesn’t “know if climate change is manmade”. Clarifying earlier comments that the question is “irrelevant” when considering the Coalition government’s response to ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • Philippines activist speaking on the Duterte tyranny
    Auckland Philippines Solidarity is excited to host Professor Judy Taguiwalo for a speaking tour of NZ in September. She is a well-known activist in the Philippines and was a political prisoner under the Marcos dictatorship. Professor Taguiwalo briefly served as a Cabinet member under President Duterte but was forced from ...
    RedlineBy Daphna
    2 weeks ago
  • Disgust
    I have no special insights to offer on the Labour sexual assault coverup. All I have is disgust. Disgust that an organisation could fail its people so badly. Disgust that they punished the victims rather than the perpetrator. Disgust that its party hacks are apparently blaming the victims for demanding ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • Speak Up for Women calls out Greens’ censorship
    This open letter to the Green Party was penned after an opinion piece by Jill Abigail, a feminist and founding member of the party, was censored by the Greens’ leadership. (Redline has reprinted her article here).The intolerance of the Green Party leaders and their acceptance of the misogyny of gender ...
    RedlineBy Daphna
    2 weeks ago
  • Member’s Day: End of Life Choice, part 3
    Today is a Member's day, and David Seymour's End of Life Choice Bill continues its slow crawl through its committee stage. They're spending the whole day on it today, though the first hour is likely to be spent on voting left over from last time. After that they'll move on ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • Flight to Los Angeles turned back after passengers decide they don’t want to go anymore
    An ambitious plan to fly to Los Angeles petered out into a brief sight-seeing trip and a desire to return home and get some sleep before work tomorrow. Air New Zealand has confirmed a flight to Los Angeles last night was turned back about a quarter of the way into ...
    The CivilianBy admin
    2 weeks ago
  • Indigenous Futures: defuturing and futuring – an analytical framework for policy development?
    There appears to be consensus – by omission – that the concept of indigenous futures should be accepted at face value. So I scavenged the internet to see if I could locate an academic descriptor or a framework around how we think about it as a concept, and whether it ...
    EllipsisterBy Ellipsister
    2 weeks ago
  • Cadbury rumoured to be releasing the Pineapple Trump
    Here’s another novelty chocolate to shove in your gob, New Zealand Cadbury could be seeking to make itself great again with a rumoured new release: Pineapple Trumps, a spin on its classic chocolate-encased pineapple treat and do-it-yourself tooth remover. The global confectionery manufacturer and bumbling “before” character in an infomercial, ...
    The CivilianBy admin
    2 weeks ago
  • The coming resource war.
    During my time in the Pentagon I had the privilege of sitting down with military leaders and defence and security officials from a variety of Latin American nations. Sometimes I was present as a subordinate assistant to a senior US defence department official, sometimes as part of a delegation that ...
    KiwipoliticoBy Pablo
    2 weeks ago
  • Māori Language Week with The Civilian
    Kia ora, Aotearoa. It’s that magical time of year. Te Wiki o te Reo Māori. In English, the week that frightens talk radio. As you probably know by now, all your favourite media outlets are participating, some more successfully than others. Stuff has changed its name to Puna for the ...
    The CivilianBy admin
    2 weeks ago
  • Will Horizons act on climate change?
    Local body elections are coming up next month. And it looks like all Palmerston North candidates for Horizons (the Manawatu-Whanganui Regional Council) want to take action on climate change:Climate change is set to be a key issue in Palmerston North for the next three years if those wanting to get ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • BORA reform is stalled
    Eighteen months ago, the government promised to strengthen the Bill of Rights Act, by explicitly affirming the power of the courts to issue declarations of inconsistency and requiring Parliament to formally respond to them. So how's that going? I was curious, so I asked for all advice about the proposal. ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • Corbyn and Brexit
    As the Brexit saga staggers on, the focus is naturally enough on the Prime Minister and his attempts to achieve Brexit “do or die”. But the role played by the Leader of the Opposition is of almost equal interest and complexity. The first problem for Jeremy Corbyn is that he ...
    Bryan GouldBy Bryan Gould
    2 weeks ago
  • A ditch for him to die in
    Last week, English Prime Minister Boris Johnson boldly declared that he would rather die be dead in a ditch than delay Brexit. Unfortunately for him, the UK parliament accepted the challenge, and promptly dug one for him. The "rebellion bill" requires him to ask for and secure yet another temporary ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago

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