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Caption competition

Written By: - Date published: 2:50 pm, March 18th, 2015 - 49 comments
Categories: caption contest - Tags: ,

Courtesy of Bryce Edwards. (See also here, here, and the truly horrifying here.)

key-golf

49 comments on “Caption competition”

  1. tc 1

    goddammit, another one to the left

  2. Anno1701 2

    Wheres some lightning when you need it ?

  3. Ant 3

    I’m losing my grip.

  4. Sans Cle 4

    Shafted

  5. risildowgtn 5

    you should see my hammer skills..

  6. infused 6

    John Key. A man in control.

  7. McFlock 7

    Ahem…
    “It’s not the length of the club, it’s the technique of the stroke”

  8. ianmac 8

    I can hit a ball any old how because I have fans who will put my balls in just the way I like it.

  9. Brian 9

    Ah! swipe.

  10. ianmac 10

    Modelled on Putin?

  11. ropata 11

    on planet key i am a scratch golfer, who needs practice or technique ?

  12. greywarshark 12

    Seconds after this picturesque shot, john’s club swung back on an arc, struck him on the head knocking him to the ground and fatally injuring him. Golfers should take notice of this sad event. Stance is everything, and balance, and unfortunately John had swung too far to the Right.

    (My captions always grow beyond the few words intended at the start.)

  13. Puckish Rogue 13

    Not a caption but still funny

    “This crowd has gone deadly silent, a Cinderella story outta nowhere. Former greenskeeper and now about to become the masters champion. Cinderella story. Outta nowhere. A former greenskeeper, now, about to become the Masters champion. It looks like a mirac… It’s in the hole! It’s in the hole! It’s in the hole!”

    ok still not a caption but even funnier

    “So I jump ship in Hong Kong and I make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas.”

    “A looper?”

    “A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I’m a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald… striking. So, I’m on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one – big hitter, the Lama – long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga… gunga, gunga-lagunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he’s gonna stiff me. And I say, “Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.” And he says, “Oh, uh, there won’t be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.” So I got that goin’ for me, which is nice.”

  14. Clemgeopin 14

    “My boy, the 220 pounds iron pumper, the ‘builder of scores of bridges over troubled waters’, O for Orsome, will get, at the end of the day on the 28th, a h0le, in one, just like this drive will. Mark my words!!….

    …and Oh, listen up! I’ll say it again with a straight face, ‘Winston has zero, nada, zilch chance of winning!’…The proof of the pudding will be in the troty and the three way handshake. It is all as clear to me as muddy mud!…

    …Come over here pronto quick, Joyce, Osborne, Bridges, Maggie, Paula, Paula’s staffer, Chris, Nikki, Alfred, Amy, Sabin, Cosby, Textor, Penguin and English….get off your undeserving luxury limousines and come and help carry my bags and balls up the hill and down the valley, you bloody useless double dipping pretentious underclass!

    Now just shut up and watch my shot!”

    weeeeeeeeewhoops!

    • greywarshark 14.1

      @Clemgeopin
      (I put up some information on Crosby Textor in Brit and it appears that it’s a case over there of Cameron carrying Crosby’s golf clubs. It’s not Bing Crosby, it’s King Crosby.)

      Caption –
      Blue skies shining on me is how it looks in this photo. But the pressure’s affecting my swing! I think after Northland I’ll do a Putin and shove off for a week to my homeland and heartland overseas.

  15. Tel 15

    New 5 eyes club designed to find the bunker every time.

  16. jeff 16

    “Fourrrrrrrrrrr! Take that you ISIS bastads”

  17. saveNZ 17

    This background is for sale.

  18. fender 18

    Formidable wanker has lousy grip.

    See, I’ve got guts.

  19. b waghorn 19

    “FIGJAM” thinks key

  20. b waghorn 20

    I wonder how long I’ll have to wait to play someone who actually tries to beat me.

  21. fender 21

    This is my 5-eye belt buckle.

    The report had too many pages for me to be stuffed reading it, so was the chapter on club grip.

  22. fender 22

    Bugger, should have used my 5 iron eyeon.

  23. felix 23

    “It’s just a jump to the left…”

  24. Clemgeopin 24

    “The hammer failed. We all know that. Let me try again with my secret weapon, this five iron club. Pass me the nail, Ozy! No, not the polish, you dork!”

  25. Whateva next? 25

    At last some time for the things that really matter….

  26. toad 26

    “I ain’t got no horse, I ain’t got no horizon…”

  27. Incognito 27

    A photo from above with my selfie-stick.

  28. Ecoss_Maidy 28

    Keys takes one last swing at the electorate in Northland….but as usual not quite up to par.

  29. adam 29

    A wholly owned subsidiary of BMW.

  30. Sable 30

    Oops another missed hold. OOoooh Barack you play golf soooo well. Would you like your shoes polished or another TPPA like agreement signed? Maybe we could sell you the rest of New Zealand?

  31. greywarshark 31

    Crikey there’s some wit in this lot.

  32. this is what happens when there are no toilets on my planet

  33. rod 33

    Bugger, I forget what I scored on the last two holes. I’ll just put a birdie for both. The handicapper will never know. that’s the best thing about playing on your own.

  34. AB 34

    Hawaiian hacker hocks off country

  35. Ecoss_Maidy 35

    “Left Wing” Club breaks ranks and risks all with an impromptu attack on CEO Keys which he has difficulty fending off

  36. Ecoss_Maidy 36

    “Good girl Paula,,, fetch my balls fetch I say!”

  37. Ecoss_Maidy 37

    PM loosing his grip…..

  38. Ecoss_Maidy 38

    Fruit Fly attack, angers Generilisamo Keys, so much so he produces his own light sabre to fight back!

    Take That Evil Fruit Fly!

  39. Ecoss_Maidy 39

    Ok,,,,,who’s got a condom for my pole???? Winston? George? Which of you are the biggest dick?

  40. Ecoss_Maidy 40

    Does this pose make my arse look big?
    Well some say in Northaland you are an arse PM..

  41. Ecoss_Maidy 41

    BMW Execs in Munich are horrified, that their logo hanst been photo edited out and all they can see is a Class A Arse in Full Swing

  42. Ecoss_Maidy 42

    Pm wears the new white!

  43. Ecoss_Maidy 43

    NO PM! Its Blue & White Not Gold & Yellow..U Moron!

  44. Ecosse_Maidy 44

    PM, has absolutely no idea how to use the latest, deluxe, arse scratcher…

  45. The Real Matthew 45

    PM swats away the opposition for another election victory

  46. Steve Cain 46

    Two!

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