Caption competition
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- Date published:
4:09 pm, March 23rd, 2015 - 68 comments
Categories: caption contest -
Tags: cows, milking
Via a bemused Lyndon Hood:
68 comments on “Caption competition ”
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- Cook Islanders to resume travel to New ZealandThe Prime Minister of New Zealand Jacinda Ardern and the Prime Minister of the Cook Islands Mark Brown have announced passengers from the Cook Islands can resume quarantine-free travel into New Zealand from 21 January, enabling access to essential services such as health. âFollowing confirmation of the Cook Islandsâ COVID ...2 weeks ago
- Supporting communities and landowners to grow employment opportunitiesJobs for Nature funding is being made available to conservation groups and landowners to employ staff and contractors in a move aimed at boosting local biodiversity-focused projects, Conservation Minister Kiritapu Allan has announced. It is estimated some 400-plus jobs will be created with employment opportunities in ecology, restoration, trapping, ...2 weeks ago
- Border exception for some returning international tertiary studentsThe Government has approved an exception class for 1000 international tertiary students, degree level and above, who began their study in New Zealand but were caught offshore when border restrictions began. The exception will allow students to return to New Zealand in stages from April 2021. âOur top priority continues ...2 weeks ago
- Tiwai deal gives time for managed transitionTodayâs deal between Meridian and Rio Tinto for the Tiwai smelter to remain open another four years provides time for a managed transition for Southland. âThe deal provides welcome certainty to the Southland community by protecting jobs and incomes as the region plans for the future. The Government is committed ...2 weeks ago
- New member for APEC Business Advisory CouncilPrime Minister Jacinda Ardern has appointed Anna Curzon to the APEC Business Advisory Council (ABAC). The leader of each APEC economy appoints three private sector representatives to ABAC. ABAC provides advice to leaders annually on business priorities. âABAC helps ensure that APECâs work programme is informed by business community perspectives ...2 weeks ago
- Govtâs careful economic management recognisedThe Governmentâs prudent fiscal management and strong policy programme in the face of the COVID-19 global pandemic have been acknowledged by the credit rating agency Fitch. Fitch has today affirmed New Zealandâs local currency rating at AA+ with a stable outlook and foreign currency rating at AA with a positive ...2 weeks ago
- Additional actions to keep COVID-19 out of NZThe Government is putting in place a suite of additional actions to protect New Zealand from COVID-19, including new emerging variants, COVID-19 Response Minister Chris Hipkins said today. âGiven the high rates of infection in many countries and evidence of the global spread of more transmissible variants, itâs clear that ...2 weeks ago
- 19 projects will clean up and protect waterways$36 million of Government funding alongside councils and others for 19 projects Investment will clean up and protect waterways and create local jobs Boots on the ground expected in Q2 of 2021 Funding part of the Jobs for Nature policy package A package of 19 projects will help clean up ...3 weeks ago
- New Zealand Government acknowledges 175th anniversary of Battle of RuapekapekaThe commemoration of the 175th anniversary of the Battle of Ruapekapeka represents an opportunity for all New Zealanders to reflect on the role these conflicts have had in creating our modern nation, says Associate Minister for Arts, Culture and Heritage Kiri Allan. âThe Battle at Te Ruapekapeka PÄ, which took ...3 weeks ago
- Auckland Tram: Taxpayers Deserve The Respect Of A Cost-benefit Analysis
âThe Governmentâs failure to even conduct a standard cost-benefit analysis for the most expensive infrastructure project in New Zealandâs history is mind-bogglingly arrogant,â says New Zealand Taxpayersâ Union spokesman Louis Houlbrooke. âA ...12 mins ago - We are the 1% â the wealth of many Australians puts them in an elite club wrecking the planet
ANALYSIS: By Alex Baumann, Western Sydney University and Samuel Alexander, University of Melbourne Among the many hard truths exposed by covid-19 is the huge disparity between the worldâs rich and poor. As economies went into freefall, the worldâs billionaires increased their already huge fortunes by 27.5 percent. And as many ...2 hours ago - MOH Draft Vaping Regulations Could Stub Out Smokefree 2025 SuccessThe Ministry of Health is today drawing backlash from the local New Zealand vaping industry following its release of proposed regulations for the Smokefree Environments and Regulated Products Act. Vaping Trade Association New Zealand (VTANZ) President, ...2 hours ago
- Dietary Requirements: What makes the perfect pub?
Sophie Gilmour and Simon Day are joined by special guest Hugo Baird, co-owner of Grey Lynn’s Honey Bones and Lilian, to talk about opening new pub Hotel Ponsonby.Auckland is a city of many bars but few really good pubs – the kind of places you’d be just as comfortable going ...2 hours ago - Advisory Board Welcomed As Step Toward A By MÄori For MÄori Approach For Care And ProtectionThe appointment of an advisory board for Oranga Tamariki is welcome and should be a step toward a total transformation of the care and protection system to a by MÄori, for MÄori approach, Childrenâs Commissioner Andrew Becroft said today. Minister ...2 hours ago
- Ten tips to fertilise your finances in 2021Taking control of your financial wellbeing can have cascading positive impacts for your life and it can also be fun. With the help of the team at Kiwi Wealth, we’ve compiled some simple tricks for balancing your books in 2021. There’s something about the beginning of a new year, especially after ...3 hours ago
- If border restrictions increase to combat new COVID-19 strains, what rights do returning New Zealand...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Kris Gledhill, Professor of Law, Auckland University of Technology As we know, getting into New Zealand during the COVID-19 pandemic is difficult. There are practicalities, such as high airfare and managed isolation costs. And there are legal requirements, including pre-flight testing, mandatory ...3 hours ago
- Housing: Judith Collins says free up land and bring in more tradespeople
New Zealand faces the risk of a generation being locked out of the housing market unless land is freed up and more houses built, National Party leader Judith Collins says. ...4 hours ago - âThese people are my heroesâ: An industry insider on NZ musicâs #MeToo reckoningOn Sunday, Stuff published a months-long investigation by Alison Mau detailing allegations of harassment and exploitation within the local music industry.The piece, ‘Music industry professionals demand change after speaking out about its dark side’, includes allegations of inappropriate behaviour and abuse of power by male artists, international acts and executives; ...4 hours ago
- Pfizer Boss Pours Cold Water On Ardern Claim Of Possible Aussie DelayâThe Government is all at sea on timelines for Australia and New Zealandâs respective vaccine roll-outs, with the worst news coming from the mouth of Pfizer Australia CEO Anne Harris,â says ACT Leader David Seymour. âYesterday, under increasing ...5 hours ago
- Could the Biden administration pressure Australia to adopt more humane refugee policies?Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Claire Higgins, Senior Research Fellow, Kaldor Centre for International Refugee Law, UNSW As a presidential candidate, Joe Biden promised the US would demonstrate âglobal leadership on refugeesâ. Once elected, he pledged to vastly increase refugee resettlement in the US. If history is ...5 hours ago
- Domestic violence soars after natural disasters. Preventing it needs to be part of the emergency res...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Jennifer Boddy, Associate Professor and Deputy Head of School (Learning and Teaching), Griffith University Domestic and family violence soars in the months and years following natural disasters. It usually involves physical and psychological violence perpetrated by men against women and children, but ...5 hours ago
- We are the 1%: the wealth of many Australians puts them in an elite club wrecking the planetSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Alex Baumann, Casual Academic, School of Social Sciences & Psychology, Western Sydney University Among the many hard truths exposed by COVID-19 is the huge disparity between the worldâs rich and poor. As economies went into freefall, the worldâs billionaires increased their already ...5 hours ago
- Itâs not just about the rise in anti-Semitism: why we need real stories for better Holocaust educa...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Jan Lanicek, Senior Lecturer in Modern European History and Jewish History, UNSW On January 27 communities worldwide commemorate the liberation of Auschwitz â the largest complex of concentration camps and extermination centres during the Holocaust. This is the first year the International ...5 hours ago
- Dressed for success â as workers return to the office, men might finally shed their suits and tiesSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Lorinda Cramer, Postdoctoral Research Associate, Australian Catholic University The summer break is over, marking a return to the office. For some, this ends almost a year of working from home in lockdown. Some analysts are predicting it might also mark an enduring ...5 hours ago
- Live updates, January 27: âReally unlikelyâ Covid-19 spread through Pullman ventilationWelcome to The Spinoff’s live updates for January 27, keeping you up to date with the latest local and international news. Reach me on stewart@thespinoff.co.nzOur members make The Spinoff happen! Every dollar contributed directly funds our editorial team – click here to learn more about how you can support us ...5 hours ago
- With the US now calling Chinaâs treatment of the Uyghurs âgenocideâ, how should NZ respond?Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Alexander Gillespie, Professor of Law, University of Waikato New Zealand has a strong history of protecting and promoting human rights at home and internationally, and prides itself on being an outspoken critic and global leader in this area. So, when the most ...5 hours ago
- The Bulletin: Collins outlines the plan forward for NationalGood morning and welcome to the Bulletin. In today’s edition: Collins outlines the plan forward for National, no spread of Covid spotted yet in Northland, and students return for climate protest.In front of a Rotary Club at the Ellerslie Racecourse in Auckland, National leader Judith Collins yesterday set out her ...5 hours ago
- Long wait for trans-Tasman bubble just got even longer
*This article first appeared on RNZ and is republished with permission. The tourism industry isn't holding its breath for a trans-Tasman travel bubble being in place after Australia temporarily closed its borders to New Zealand. New Zealanders could be waiting even longer for a full trans-Tasman bubble, with the ...5 hours ago - Near-empty hotels hibernate for winter
âââââââThe hurt caused by border closures is proving unsustainable for some of the country's 330 hotels, and they are closing their doors. ...6 hours ago - PÄkehÄ invading the MÄori mind: The strange case of Roderick Finlayson
We continue our week-long examination of New Zealand writer Roderick Finlayson with an essay by Anahera Gildea on cultural appropriation Every night at 7pm sharp, my Irish Catholic father and his eight siblings would have to kneel on the carpet of the living room, facing the freshly polished nudity of ...6 hours ago - Covid concerns continue to weigh on travel stocks
Business & Investing: While travel stocks felt pressure, Chorus and Synlait had good news ...6 hours ago - Plan flexibly, build more or pay the price
A Covid reset will force costly and inflexible cities to take a hard look at their planning systems, or people will vote with their feet. Broken urban planning systems make for misery even in the best of times. If land use and housing regulations prevent metropolitan areas from growing up or out as ...7 hours ago - Govt moves again on Oranga Tamariki
Children's Minister Kelvin Davis will have independent eyes and ears across Oranga Tamariki over the next five months as the Government tries to change the work and practices of the ministry. The Government has created a MÄori-led watchdog to oversee how the children's ministry, Oranga Tamariki, deals with parents and ...7 hours ago - Covid-19: At the back of the vaccine queue
What if it was better for the world â and even for NZ â if we waited at the back of the line for Covid-19 vaccines? ...7 hours ago - A disaster no one is paying attention to
When an Auckland school classroom went up in flames in December last year, exploding asbestos over neighbouring houses, five separate government agencies were involved. Yet stressed residents dealing with the aftermath on their homes say the response felt chaotic and uncoordinated; even local MPs who got involved couldn't get the information they wanted. Hundreds of thousands of ...7 hours ago - The new bank branch: pull up a stool
The pandemic has accelerated the trend of doing our banking online instead of in person. This rapid digital embrace has, in turn, sped up the closure of many smaller bank branches. But, as Mark Jennings writes, there are new branches springing up with a different look and purpose. Aucklandâs Wynyard ...7 hours ago - At 58, waka ama legend still leads the way
Corrina Gage has represented New Zealand in a trio of water sports. But it's her love for waka ama - and the opportunities it gives paddlers from 5 to 85 - that keeps her racing and coaching around the world. Lake KarÄpiro is quiet and still now. But last week, it was all noise ...7 hours ago - Judith Collins wants to help solve the countryâs housing crisis. Do people care?Telling a Rotary Club audience that housing is a serious problem and they should care deeply about it landed flat but took some daring from the National leader, writes Justin Giovannetti.Judith Collins’ level of control over the National Party is still a question best answered by a shrug.Elevated to her ...8 hours ago
- Is there an end in sight for Ćtaraâs gang problem?A gang turf war gripped the South Auckland suburb in late 2020, forcing schools to lock down and armed police to patrol the streets. Community leaders are now warning the cycle of violent retribution could continue in 2021, unless radical interventions are made.The violent altercations that loomed large in Ōtara ...8 hours ago
- Go hard and go early on climate change
This will be a watershed year as we move from climate advocacy to action. We proved we could do it with Covid. ...11 hours ago - Contaminated waste dumping: Ardern weighs options against companies in breachThe prime minister has put companies dumping contaminated waste into sewers on notice, saying she's seeking advice about the available options. ...19 hours ago
- Protesters demand rapid action on climate changeMore than 100 climate strikers gathered at Parliament to hand over a list of demands for rapid action from the government. ...20 hours ago
- My favourite detective: Jules Maigret, the Paris detective with a pipe but no pretenceSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By VĂ©ronique DuchĂ©, A.R. Chisholm Professor of French, University of Melbourne In this series, writers pay tribute to fictional detectives on the page and on screen. When I first heard that Rowan Atkinson was to put on Maigretâs velvet-collared overcoat, I wondered ...21 hours ago
- Watch: Jacinda Ardern speaks in first post-Cabinet briefing of 2021Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern says approval for the Pfizer vaccine could come as early as Wednesday next week. ...21 hours ago
- New Zealand and China upgrade free trade agreementThe New Zealand and Chinese governments have signed an upgrade to the free trade agreement between the two countries. ...21 hours ago
- Kit Marlowe died 400 years ago â but heâs back, and sexy as hellAuckland writer Olivia Hayfield* explains how she resurrected 16th-century playwright Christopher Marlowe to star in her new novel, Sister to Sister. Olivia Hayfield is a pen name. Real name: Sue Copsey. When I’m planning my modern retellings of historical tales, I read widely on the characters and see who leaps out at ...22 hours ago
- Pfizer vaccine could be approved next week
The Pfizer/BioNTech mRNA vaccine could be approved as early as next week, Marc Daalder reports Medsafe will be asked to approve the Pfizer/BioNTech mRNA vaccine against Covid-19 on February 2, the Government has announced. The Medicines Assessment Advisory Committee (MAAC) is an independent panel that provides advice on some medicine approvals in ...22 hours ago - Watch live: Jacinda Ardern speaks in first post-Cabinet briefing of 2021The prime minister is addressing media in a post-Cabinet conference after holding the first Cabinet meeting of the year today. ...22 hours ago
- Bryan Kramer: How many PNG police chiefs have had a degree? NoneCOMMENT: By Bryan Kramer, PNGâs Minister of Police who has defended Commissioner Manningâs appointment today in The National My last article, announcing that I intend to make a submission to the National Executive Council (NEC) to amend the Public Service regulation to no longer require the Commissioner of Police to ...23 hours ago
- The political payoff is plain but is it smart to borrow $219,512 per job (mostly temporary) to spruc...
The Point of Order Trough Monitor was triggered today by the announcement of a $9 million handout for Southlanders â sorry, some Southlanders. The news came from the office of Grant Robertson who, as Minister of Finance, prefers to invest public money rather than give it away â especially when ...23 hours ago - Frame: Behind the scenes of Chlöe Swarbrickâs historic Auckland Central campaignFew people outside of her campaign team gave Chlöe Swarbrick any chance of winning in Auckland Central this year – but the Green Party MP was too busy to listen. Here’s how they turned the electorate green.First published November 12, 2020.Three Ticks Chlöe is part of Frame, a series of short ...23 hours ago
- Discrimination by healthcare providers could affect immunisation rates â studyInteractions between parents and healthcare providers could have a big impact on the wellbeing of our children, according to new research. The way parents and healthcare providers interact has lasting implications for children’s health, new research has found – and that includes immunisation uptake.Released today, the report is based on research ...23 hours ago
- Collins: No time to prioritise climate change
The Opposition starts the political year calling for emergency, temporary legislation to free up house building National leader Judith Collins has set five priorities for her party over the next three years - but excluded climate change, education and Crown-MÄori relations. Giving her first 'state of the nation' speech as party ...23 hours ago - Judith Collins focuses on housing, Covid-19 in National's state of the nation addressNational is calling on the government to introduce urgent temporary legislation to make it easier to build houses. ...24 hours ago
- Letâs see what Andrew Little prescribes to remedy structural weaknesses in NZâs health system
One of the biggest challenges facing the Ardern government is in public health.  New Zealand may have escaped the pressures heaped on other health systems by the Covid-19 pandemic but its health service has had its problems, not least those exposed in the first report from Heather Simpson and her ...1 day ago - NZ covid: 14 close contacts of Northland case test negativeNew Zealandâs Covid-19 Response Minister Chris Hipkins has revealed that 14 close contacts of the Northland community case have returned negative test results. Yesterday he announced two close contacts â her husband and hair dresser â were negative. In his tweet, Hipkins described the news as âencouragingâ. However, New ...1 day ago
- RSF condemns Google for dropping Australian media searches in âtestsâPacific Media Watch newsdesk Reporters Without Borders (RSF) has condemned the arbitrary and opaque experiments that Google is conducting with its search engine in Australia, with the consequence that many national news websites are no longer appearing in the search results seen by some users. The Australian, ABC, Australian Financial ...1 day ago
- Contaminant dumping: Minister says companies must comply with consentsLocal Government Minister Nanaia Mahuta says councils can take stronger action against companies dumping contaminated waste water, even though they have identified loopholes in the law on fines. ...1 day ago
- Will Drag Race Down Under truly represent the NZ drag scene?Drag Race Down Under, part of the popular RuPaul’s Drag Race franchise, is filming in New Zealand. In their own words, local drag talent share what drag means to them and how it might be impacted by the show.RuPaul’s Drag Race is, quite simply, a television phenomenon. Love it or ...1 day ago
- Fee fi fo fum, the weighted blanket industry has comeFor a long time, weighted blankets were considered a specialist device. Now they’re popular with even the most normal sleepers.Growing up, Temple Grandin spent time on her aunt’s cattle ranch in America, watching cow after stressed cow enter a squeeze chute and come out calm as the dead sea. She ...1 day ago
- Newsletter: New Zealand Politics Daily â January 26 2021Editor’s Note: Here below is a list of the main issues currently under discussion in New Zealand and links to media coverage. Today’s content Covid Luke Malpass (Stuff): Northland Covid-19 case threatens to bring summer to screeching halt Audrey Young (Herald): Aussie suspension adds to Cabinet’s Covid agenda (paywalled) Richard Harman: Testing the limts â the Northland Covid-19 ...1 day ago
- Survey â Govtâs âshot Gunâ COVID Tax-relief Measures Mostly Hit The MarkIncreased provisional tax thresholds, immediate low-value asset write offs and allowing the deferral of tax payments and use of money interest (UOMI) write offs were the most popular tax measures introduced by the Government to help businesses survive ...1 day ago
- Police Pursuits Sky-rocket To Record High â So Police Stop ChasingThe latest fleeing driver statistics show the numbers of incidents sky-rocketing out of control through 2020 with Police deciding the only tactic is to give up on chasing altogether, says Sensible Sentencing Trust. âThe inconvenient truth is ...1 day ago
- Dolphins, Discrimination And The Governmentâs âComplicity By SilenceâWith new revelations of the appalling racism behind Israelâs refusal to provide Covid-19 vaccines to 4.5 million Palestinians under its occupation and control, PSNA has renewed our call for the government to speak out alongside the United Nations ...1 day ago
- School Strike 4 Climate NZ's January 26th 100 Days 4 Action RallyThe Youth of NZ will be standing up for climate action once again, on January 26th outside of Parliament for School Strike 4 Climate NZâs 100 Days 4 Action campaign rally. âCOVID-19 may have stopped us in our tracks in the past. However, I tend ...1 day ago
- A new 3D koala genome will aid efforts to defend the threatened speciesSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Parwinder Kaur, Associate Professor | Director, DNA Zoo Australia, University of Western Australia Koalas are unique in the animal kingdom, living on a eucalyptus diet that would kill other creatures and drinking so little their name comes from the Dharug word gula, ...1 day ago
- Burnt ancient nutshells reveal the story of climate change at Kakadu â now drier than ever beforeSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By S. Anna Florin, Research fellow, University of Wollongong Archaeological research provides a long-term perspective on how humans survived various environmental conditions over tens of thousands of years. In a paper published today in Nature Ecology and Evolution, weâve tracked rainfall in northern ...1 day ago
- Auf Wiedersehen, âMuttiâ: How Angela Merkelâs centrist politics shaped Germany and EuropeSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Binoy Kampmark, Senior Lecturer in Global Studies, Social Science & Planning, RMIT University Since 2005, Germanyâs Chancellor Angela Merkel has been one of the most stable and enduring of political forces, both in Europe and on the global stage. During her 16 ...1 day ago
- An unexpected consequence of climate change: heatwaves kill plant pests and save our favourite giant...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Gregory Moore, Doctor of Botany, University of Melbourne Australia is sweltering through another heatwave, and there will be more in the near future as climate change brings hotter, drier weather. In some parts of Australia, the number of days above 40â will ...1 day ago
- My favourite detective: Jules Maigret, the Paris detective with a pipe but no pretenseSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By VĂ©ronique DuchĂ©, A.R. Chisholm Professor of French, University of Melbourne In this series, writers pay tribute to fictional detectives on the page and on screen. When I first heard that Rowan Atkinson was to put on Maigretâs velvet-collared overcoat, I wondered ...1 day ago
- Experts urge rethink on using isolation hotels with sub-par ventilation
*This article first appeared on RNZ and is republished with permission. Experts are calling for hotels with sub-par ventilation systems to no longer be used as managed isolation facilities as health officials investigate how a Northland woman became infected with Covid-19 while staying at the Pullman hotel, Rowan Quinn reports. ...1 day ago - Live updates, January 26: Thousands of Covid-19 test results expected back todayWelcome to The Spinoff’s live updates for January 26, keeping you up to date with the latest local and international news. Reach me on stewart@thespinoff.co.nzOur Members make The Spinoff happen! Every dollar contributed directly funds our editorial team – click here to learn more about how you can support us ...1 day ago
- The Bulletin: What happens next after Northland Covid-19 caseGood morning and welcome to The Bulletin. In today’s edition: Questions to be answered about case in the community, major companies flagrantly breaching wastewater consents, and Tenancy Tribunal decisions harming abuse survivors.As of this morning, we’re still waiting on some crucial information about the situation in Northland, after a person travelled ...1 day ago
- NZ must build collaboration, not more intense competition in the Asia-Pacific
With democracy what now separates the US from its adversaries, Wellington can bet on more continuity than change in Washingtonâs hardline view of China. ...1 day ago - Latest Covid scare weighs on travel stocks
Business & Investing: New Covid scare hits some stock prices, Plus Don't bet on a Bitcoin rebound ...1 day ago - Plan flexibly, scale up construction, or pay the price
A Covid reset will force costly and inflexible cities to take a hard look at their planning systems, or people will vote with their feet. ...1 day ago - Love in Pukehina: The strange case of Roderick Finlayson
We continue our week-long examination of writer Roderick Finlayson. Today: his daughter Kate on his doomed love for Poti Mita, whose family inspired him to write short stories about MÄori life in the 1930s We all knew of Poti Mita and how important Pukehina was to Dad. He wanted ...1 day ago - Agency ambitions spark tourism turf war
An expansion push by Tourism NZ sparked a behind-the-scenes, inter-agency tussle to control the industry's direction. ...1 day ago - Sleepyhead's dream answer to the housing crisis
Sleepyhead is chopping and changing its ambitious plan to build a super-factory and a community of 1100 medium density houses on a block of farmland in the north Waikato. Sydney Turner set his grandsons Craig and Graeme to work on the factory floor, building mattresses. Now Craig and Graeme Turner own ...1 day ago - We must avoid scares in vaccine rollout
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A change of plans for round-the-world single-handed sailor Elana Connor means she's helping Kiwi kids in foster care to go sailing - as she also seeks to 'demystify' the sport for women. Elana Connor wears a silver necklace engraved with the word âFearlessnessâ. As she sails solo around the globe, it reminds her that ...1 day ago - Climate Commission report: get it right or face catastrophe
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Was Covid-19 and lockdown the catalyst for a new future for healthcare or did it just expose systemic inequity? In the latest of a series on the country's future infrastructure needs, Tim Murphy looks at how the long push to shift health's focus from hospitals to the community might have received a nudge ...1 day ago - Keeping calm in a world gone viral
Not only is the New Zealand summer in danger of coming to a grinding halt, but we increase the risk that an almighty wreck might follow shortly afterwards. Here's what we can do, writes Dr Sarb Johal. While the rest of the world is wrestling with virulent new strains of the ...1 day ago
I might not be able to hammer a nail, but I’ve spent 30 years milking a teat for all it’s worth.
Sorry no caption, just a question: is this a real photo? Head doesn’t fit.
Perhaps a fish-eye lens enlarging Key’s head. It looks distorted in other areas: curves on what look like straight edges etc.
apparently it is real but it screams wrong in all sorts of ways – lighting, scale, neck/spine alignment but then again – he never did prove he wasn’t a reptilian đ
God I wish there was video of this. Having seen him flouncing around with a hammer, there’s no way he would be capable of milking a cow without making a right fuckwit of himself.
The footage of Key with Sth Korean PM tonight on 3News looks like the source for that inane smug grin .. shaking hands across the table with their PM … pretty sure it’s the source, and a real fun someone did the rest today !
just an udder mudderf.cker
John Key is looking for Mike Sabin. Has anyone seen Mike?
‘Pull the udder one’
oh dear,
(facepalm…. why did i look at this !)
why?
Milking’s okay, but I’m more one for top-quality bullshit.
I’m normally up to my neck with crap.
No wonder he’s smiling – not even ankle deep, and he gets to second base…
These are Not Orivida cows.
Really , no lies đ
“Her name’s Judith, and boy does she love it when I squeeze her teats.”
“Look at me, look at me! In just six short years, I have tuned Nuslund into a lovely land of milk and bullshit!”
If I get my way this effluent will be going straight into our rivers!
Now lick the s**t off my boots NZ!
” Stand aside Nathan. Photo op”
What an udder disgrace we having been pulling Northlanders tits for over 70 years and now thanks to Peters we are serving up pork to these ungrateful country hicks.
So, the cows have all come home………………..
I’m quite good at this, actually – I’ve been milking the system for years!
I milked the system of money so i wouldnt have to do this for a living
Everytime I visit Paulas i have to do the washing up!
CEO Keys should have worn his glasses as he tries to persuade swing voters in Northland…
Ha! Who said I couldn’t change a lightbulb!
In the auditions for All Creatures Great and Small Deux, Keys fails abysmally on the grounds of never being great creature and not accepting his small penis syndrome….
Generilisimo Keys buries the hatchet with Pete The Ego George with a handshake, no hard feelings…
I knew becoming involved in Dirty Politics would come in handy one day..hurrah!
The cows complained on mass, we have feelings you know,,,,,,
Which of you two human scum let rip?
Its totally disgusting!
What u don’t know, is I cant get ma hand out arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!
National’s ECAN appointees show their commitment to water quality
Farmer: “HmmmâŠâŠ..should I tell him it’s a bull??”
Keys defies critics who said he was up to his neck in shit, look only up to my feet!
Ha!
Feel My Power!
Keys smirks through adversity as he looks for his lost golf club
One week pictured with pigs, this week cows, whats next week?
Well the worst PM…………………….. your own MP’s
I hope this cow does not shit on me like I have shit on New Zealand
Now cow, now!.
Oooh orivida, orrivida! (Dribble and spittle spilling out the side of his mouth!)
Your turn now numbnuts!
Milk brothers! Milked the country ……
Doxycycline is your friend John.
And the winner of the flag referendum is…hold on,,,,,its up here…….
Ok fellas now I have got my Green Credentials,,,,,shove all this green effluent shit into the harbour,,,they will never know…suckers…
Gawd I love this dictatorship, I mean elected postion
At the top secret GCSB spy school,Furher Keys congratulates his top agent for services in the field….
Now I know how the trickle down theory works.
No seriously, I mean it, this time I am taking the pissssss big time!!!
NZ Herald Breaking Front Page News ” Cow Gives Birth To Semi Human!”
I’m not your buddy, guy.
“We are very hands on, Sherlock! Just looking for 36-25-36 or any 10-80 by chance!”
This amount of slippery shit reminds me of a cabinet meeting.
Key is reincarnated as a dairy farmer
Disgraced currency speculator enjoys minimum wage labour
That’s a cow John! No bull!
I’m milking New Zealand for all it’s worth.
ThePullerKey – “(Cocktail party grimace) – I’m the 5th tit……”
Not of rural/dairying roots……have I got that right ?
Love the hair though……pretty yellow bloom……(falsetto) “I’m ivayyyylible…….”
it was a great joint, eh Nathe, wasn’t tit? .
Muldoon pictured appearing uncharacteristically oleaginous.
What’s the prize for the winner?
“Nah mate, I can’t be bothered with that shit – Jason photo-shopped me over Judith – shape of things to come eh đ Yeah, don’t tell the whale for chrissakes…”
A towny twit pulling some terrified tits and smiling smugly about it on Crosby/Textor camera to fool numerous New Zealand numbnuts some more.
John Key pays visit to actual source of own bullshit.
“I was getting low so I thought I pop up and fill up the limo. I owe a lot to these guys. Not that I pay them any more than I legally have to. I operate within the law.”
I’m getting down and dirty with our wealth creators. I’ll stand in the cow poo with the best of them, because I know the old saying ‘Where there’s muck there’s brass’. And because I’m a showman I’ll sing you Tom Lehrer’s Pollution song.
I never thought I’d be fumbling so low with tits like these. (Gives awkward smile.) Still it’s a dirty job and a PM with Crosby Textor managing the show has to do the hard stuff as he’s told.
Awww yeah!
“Just doing a refresher on my number skills ; One, two, three, four, five, six! Wow, six titties!”
And the cow said. Can I crap on crap
Can someone move those piles of shit out of my excrement please.
“In just a few moments I’ll be able to reveal some of the new jobs being created in Northland…”
Cow talk This bloke is getting on my tits big time.