Caption competition

Written By: - Date published: 4:09 pm, March 23rd, 2015 - 68 comments
Categories: caption contest - Tags: ,

Via a bemused Lyndon Hood:

key-milking-cow

68 comments on “Caption competition”

  1. McFlock 1

    I might not be able to hammer a nail, but I’ve spent 30 years milking a teat for all it’s worth.

  2. felix 2

    Sorry no caption, just a question: is this a real photo? Head doesn’t fit.

    • One Anonymous Bloke 2.1

      Perhaps a fish-eye lens enlarging Key’s head. It looks distorted in other areas: curves on what look like straight edges etc.

    • freedom 2.2

      John Key milking a cow
      apparently it is real but it screams wrong in all sorts of ways – lighting, scale, neck/spine alignment but then again – he never did prove he wasn’t a reptilian 😉

      • felix 2.2.1

        God I wish there was video of this. Having seen him flouncing around with a hammer, there’s no way he would be capable of milking a cow without making a right fuckwit of himself.

    • rawshark-yeshe 2.3

      The footage of Key with Sth Korean PM tonight on 3News looks like the source for that inane smug grin .. shaking hands across the table with their PM … pretty sure it’s the source, and a real fun someone did the rest today !

  3. rawshark-yeshe 3

    just an udder mudderf.cker

  4. One Anonymous Bloke 4

    John Key is looking for Mike Sabin. Has anyone seen Mike?

  5. ‘Pull the udder one’

  6. sabine 6

    oh dear,

    (facepalm…. why did i look at this !)

    why?

  7. Ovid 7

    Milking’s okay, but I’m more one for top-quality bullshit.

  8. Atiawa 8

    I’m normally up to my neck with crap.

  9. risildowgtn 9

    These are Not Orivida cows.

    Really , no lies 😛

  10. cogito 10

    “Her name’s Judith, and boy does she love it when I squeeze her teats.”

  11. Clemgeopin 11

    “Look at me, look at me! In just six short years, I have tuned Nuslund into a lovely land of milk and bullshit!”

  12. saveNZ 12

    If I get my way this effluent will be going straight into our rivers!

  13. saveNZ 13

    Now lick the s**t off my boots NZ!

  14. Atiawa 14

    ” Stand aside Nathan. Photo op”

  15. Skinny 15

    What an udder disgrace we having been pulling Northlanders tits for over 70 years and now thanks to Peters we are serving up pork to these ungrateful country hicks.

  16. mac1 16

    So, the cows have all come home………………..

  17. JanM 17

    I’m quite good at this, actually – I’ve been milking the system for years!

  18. SMILIN 18

    I milked the system of money so i wouldnt have to do this for a living

  19. Ecosse_Maidy 19

    Everytime I visit Paulas i have to do the washing up!

  20. Ecosse_Maidy 20

    CEO Keys should have worn his glasses as he tries to persuade swing voters in Northland…

  21. Ecosse_Maidy 21

    Ha! Who said I couldn’t change a lightbulb!

  22. Ecosse_Maidy 22

    In the auditions for All Creatures Great and Small Deux, Keys fails abysmally on the grounds of never being great creature and not accepting his small penis syndrome….

  23. Ecosse_Maidy 23

    Generilisimo Keys buries the hatchet with Pete The Ego George with a handshake, no hard feelings…

  24. Ecosse_Maidy 24

    I knew becoming involved in Dirty Politics would come in handy one day..hurrah!

  25. Ecosse_Maidy 25

    The cows complained on mass, we have feelings you know,,,,,,
    Which of you two human scum let rip?
    Its totally disgusting!

  26. Ecosse_Maidy 26

    What u don’t know, is I cant get ma hand out arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!

  27. AB 27

    National’s ECAN appointees show their commitment to water quality

  28. Quicksilver 28

    Farmer: “Hmmm……..should I tell him it’s a bull??”

  29. Ecosse_Maidy 29

    Keys defies critics who said he was up to his neck in shit, look only up to my feet!
    Ha!
    Feel My Power!

  30. Ecosse_Maidy 30

    Keys smirks through adversity as he looks for his lost golf club

  31. Ecosse_Maidy 31

    One week pictured with pigs, this week cows, whats next week?

    Well the worst PM…………………….. your own MP’s

  32. halfcrown 32

    I hope this cow does not shit on me like I have shit on New Zealand

  33. joe90 33

    Now cow, now!.

  34. Takere 34

    Oooh orivida, orrivida! (Dribble and spittle spilling out the side of his mouth!)
    Your turn now numbnuts!

    Milk brothers! Milked the country ……

  35. joe90 35

    Doxycycline is your friend John.

  36. Ecosse_Maidy 36

    And the winner of the flag referendum is…hold on,,,,,its up here…….

  37. Ecosse_Maidy 37

    Ok fellas now I have got my Green Credentials,,,,,shove all this green effluent shit into the harbour,,,they will never know…suckers…

    Gawd I love this dictatorship, I mean elected postion

  38. Ecosse_Maidy 38

    At the top secret GCSB spy school,Furher Keys congratulates his top agent for services in the field….

  39. halfcrown 39

    Now I know how the trickle down theory works.

  40. Ecosse_Maidy 40

    No seriously, I mean it, this time I am taking the pissssss big time!!!

  41. Ecosse_Maidy 41

    NZ Herald Breaking Front Page News ” Cow Gives Birth To Semi Human!”

  42. I’m not your buddy, guy.

  43. Clemgeopin 43

    “We are very hands on, Sherlock! Just looking for 36-25-36 or any 10-80 by chance!”

  44. b waghorn 44

    This amount of slippery shit reminds me of a cabinet meeting.

  45. vto 45

    Key is reincarnated as a dairy farmer

  46. AB 46

    Disgraced currency speculator enjoys minimum wage labour

  47. ianmac 47

    That’s a cow John! No bull!

  48. seeker 48

    I’m milking New Zealand for all it’s worth.

  49. North 49

    ThePullerKey – “(Cocktail party grimace) – I’m the 5th tit……”

    Not of rural/dairying roots……have I got that right ?

    Love the hair though……pretty yellow bloom……(falsetto) “I’m ivayyyylible…….”

  50. philj 50

    it was a great joint, eh Nathe, wasn’t tit? .

  51. the pigman 51

    Muldoon pictured appearing uncharacteristically oleaginous.

  52. Kevin 52

    What’s the prize for the winner?

  53. Stuart Munro 53

    “Nah mate, I can’t be bothered with that shit – Jason photo-shopped me over Judith – shape of things to come eh 😉 Yeah, don’t tell the whale for chrissakes…”

  54. Clemgeopin 54

    A towny twit pulling some terrified tits and smiling smugly about it on Crosby/Textor camera to fool numerous New Zealand numbnuts some more.

  55. emergency mike 55

    John Key pays visit to actual source of own bullshit.

    “I was getting low so I thought I pop up and fill up the limo. I owe a lot to these guys. Not that I pay them any more than I legally have to. I operate within the law.”

  56. greywarshark 56

    I’m getting down and dirty with our wealth creators. I’ll stand in the cow poo with the best of them, because I know the old saying ‘Where there’s muck there’s brass’. And because I’m a showman I’ll sing you Tom Lehrer’s Pollution song.

  57. greywarshark 57

    I never thought I’d be fumbling so low with tits like these. (Gives awkward smile.) Still it’s a dirty job and a PM with Crosby Textor managing the show has to do the hard stuff as he’s told.

  58. Puckish Rogue 58

    Awww yeah!

  59. Clemgeopin 59

    “Just doing a refresher on my number skills ; One, two, three, four, five, six! Wow, six titties!”

  60. peterh 60

    And the cow said. Can I crap on crap

  61. David H 61

    Can someone move those piles of shit out of my excrement please.

  62. Thinkerr 62

    “In just a few moments I’ll be able to reveal some of the new jobs being created in Northland…”

  63. rod 63

    Cow talk This bloke is getting on my tits big time.

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