Caption competition
Written By:
- Date published:
4:09 pm, March 23rd, 2015 - 68 comments
Categories: caption contest -
Tags: cows, milking
Via a bemused Lyndon Hood:
68 comments on “Caption competition ”
- Comments are now closed
- Comments are now closed
Recent Comments
- Rest of New Zealand won’t move to Level 1 until threat of Christmas in the Park has passed
Christmas in the Park is a seasonal affliction, but can be particularly tricky to wipe out due to its unpredictable timing, usually occurring at a completely different time to Christmas. While Auckland prepares to move to Alert Level 3 on Wednesday, New Zealanders in the fun part of the country ...10 hours ago - Expropriate the house hoarders
North & South has an in-depth piece on the origins of the housing crisis, and like so much else wrong with Aotearoa, the blame can be laid firmly at the feet of the NeoLiberal regimes of the 80's and 90's, who sold state houses, slashed benefits while imposing market rents, ...15 hours ago - A Coalition Of The Waning.
The Sunset Of Anglo-Saxon Imperialism: To join this “Coalition of the Waning”: this AUKUS pact composed of the three military aggressors of the Iraq War; would not only be folly – it would be criminal folly.THE FORMATION OF AUKUS, the new military pact linking Australia, the United Kingdom and the ...19 hours ago - “No Debate!” Means No Democracy.To The Lamp-Post With Them! Revolutionaries, along with the counter-revolutionaries they inevitably call into existence, are not disposed to engage in rational political discussion with their opponents. Their objective is not to change minds, but to crush bodies. Tragically, those who rule out the possibility of debate, almost always end ...20 hours ago
- NZ Politics Daily: 20 September 2021
Today’s NZPD testimonial from Hamish Rutherford, Journalist, New Zealand Herald “I find the NZ Daily Politics an important part of my morning, allowing me to scan and access a wide variety of the material published in New Zealand over the previous 24 hours. It often draws my attention to work I would ...21 hours ago - Covax misses its 2021 delivery target – what’s gone wrong in the fight against vaccine nationali...
Rory Horner, University of Manchester The latest supply forecast for Covax – the programme for sharing COVID-19 vaccines around the world – suggests that accelerating vaccination in low-income countries looks unlikely. Covax estimates it will have distributed 1.425 billion vaccine doses by the end of 2021, significantly less than ...21 hours ago - Geoffrey Miller: New Zealand could be the big winner of Aukus falloutInternational analyst Geoffrey Miller considers the implications for New Zealand of the new Aukus partnership China’s level of anger at the new Aukus defence pact between Australia, the UK and the US was only to be expected. France’s was not. And Paris’s dramatic recall of its ambassadors to Canberra and ...1 day ago
- 2021 SkS Weekly Climate Change & Global Warming News Roundup #38
Listing of articles linked to on the Skeptical Science Facebook Page during the past week: Sun, September 12, 2021 through Sat, September 18, 2021 The following articles sparked above average interest during the week: Do high levels of CO2 in the past contradict the warming effect of CO2?, What would it ...1 day ago - One thousand dead New Zealanders per year?
. . . . . References RNZ: Covid-19 debate – When should New Zealand open up its borders? Worldometer: Coronavirus Cases – United States RNZ: US hospitals ration care amid shortages and Covid-19 surge Reuters: Some U.S. hospitals forced to ration care amid staffing shortages, COVID-19 surge NPR: A COVID ...2 days ago - 1pm health update for Saturday, September 18 2021The following is a summary of today’s 1pm health update from the Ministry of Health Today there are 20 new cases of Covid-19 to report in the community, and 6 new cases of the Ebola virus. Please do not concern yourself with the Ebola; this will probably be fine. Of ...3 days ago
- Reading the Covid Tea-Leaves: 18th September
This past month’s blogging has really turned into an extended rant on the subject of the Coronavirus (primarily because I still haven’t got my hands on The Nature of Middle-earth, and there’s little update on the Amazon series). Auckland is still on Level 4, of course, and the rest ...3 days ago - Experts warn exclusion from AUSUK pact could see New Zealand miss out on future catastrophic warsPICTURED: US President Joe Biden deep in thought as he searches his brain for any memory of the person on screen. New Zealand’s exclusion from a tripartite security pact between the United States, Australia and the UK may not come as a surprise to many kiwis, but experts warn that ...3 days ago
- Big Challenges for the Government
A short review of the policy issues that Labour is facing and the ministers undertaking them. There is a sense that there are two major issues facing any government. One is policy management and the other is political management – not just of policies. As a result New Zealand’s political ...4 days ago - Seymour and Collins
The Herald continues to hitch its wagon to David Seymour’s coat-tails. They don’t seem to realise that Seymour is almost entirely an (inadvertent) creation of Judith Collins. If it weren’t for the fact that Collins is performing so badly as National leader, Seymour would not be noticed. For those interested ...4 days ago - Keep New Zealand Nuclear-Free – Stay Out of AUKUS!4 days ago
- Making the Most of MasksDr Nitasha Rimar, Dr Lucy Telfar Barnard, Dr Amanda Kvalsvig, Lesley Gray, Prof Michael Baker Masks and vaccination have a central role in minimising the health and economic impact of COVID-19, regardless of the long-term strategy we use against the pandemic. These interventions depend on both good performance and high ...4 days ago
- NZ Politics Daily: 17 September 2021Today’s NZPD testimonial from Simon Bridges, Parliamentarian “NZ Politics Daily is an essential news service for me, enabling me to cut through the constant noise and quickly see what’s going on. Dr Bryce Edwards and NZ politics Daily are a big public good, keeping kiwis, even politicians, better informed.” Anyone can ...4 days ago
- The 'team of five million' isn't all of us. Are we doing enough for the others?
The “team of five million” has become a well-worn but still powerful call to arms in the past 18 months as Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern and Director-General of Health Ashley Bloomfield have tried to rally a sense of national unity in the fight to save lives in this Covid-19 pandemic. ...4 days ago - Covid outreach disaster as online poll sees vaccination bus named ‘the murder wagon’Ashley Bloomfield says he doesn’t want those hesitant about getting the vaccine to “be distracted” by the fact they come out of the murder wagon. The Government is dealing with a Covid outreach debacle today, after the decision to put the naming of New Zealand’s vaccination bus service to a ...5 days ago
- Skeptical Science New Research for Week #37, 2021Go with real guilt, or imaginatively hide? This week's New Research includes a couple of interesting papers exploring the confused, noisy marketplace of ideas, volitions and impulses we call "the human mind," in connection with thinking about climate change and our responsibility for causing harm and remedy. We're all (surely?) ...5 days ago
- Gesta Gertrudis: Volume IV
Time for another Gertrude update. Alas, due to personal issues involving the DM, this will be the last update from this campaign for some time. Until then, Gertrude shall be put on ice. Since Dunedin is no longer in lockdown, both these sessions were in-person. Session Seven/Sixty-Three Technically, ...5 days ago - Samoa’s opposition should be sworn inOn Monday, in response to a refusal by HRPP MPs to accept the proper process for being sworn in, Samoa's speaker banned them from parliament. Because they'd also called for a mob, he took the unprecedented step of banning the public too. These decisions were reasonable at the time. MPs ...5 days ago
- Racist from top to bottomBack in 2019, the government tweaked drug laws to encourage the use of police discretion. So did it work? well, charges are down, but the burden of prosecution is falling even more disproportionately on Māori: A 2019 change to drug laws has led to far fewer people being charged ...5 days ago
- Pattern recognitionGovernment defers introducing tougher winter grazing rules - again, RNZ, 26 August 2021: The government has pushed intensive winter grazing rules back by another six months. Intensive winter grazing is when livestock are feed fodder crops - when done poorly it can create a muddy mess leading to animal ...5 days ago
- Climate Change: An excuse, not a justificationYesterday the government announced plans to delay its key Emissions Reduction Plan - currently due by law by 31 December - until next year. Its "justification"? Shaw said consultations on the plan would begin in early October. "It is only right to make sure everyone has the chance to ...5 days ago
- Lessons learned from a remote blood pressure lowering trial in AotearoaHelen Eyles, Jacqui Grey, Elaine Umali, Cliona Ni Mhurchu Technologies such as smartphone apps, Wi-Fi-enabled data collection devices, and web-based data management systems offer the opportunity to deliver and assess the impact of clinical trials remotely, something which researchers are becoming increasingly drawn to. However, there are drawbacks, and even ...5 days ago
- NZ Politics Daily: 16 September 2021Today’s NZPD testimonial from Chris Trotter, Political commentator: “NZ Politics Daily has become an invaluable resource for all those who practice, study and/or write about politics in New Zealand. So much so that I can’t remember how I ever did without it.” Anyone can sign up to NZPD for free at: https://democracyproject.nz/nz-politics-daily/ Today’s ...5 days ago
- Josh Van Veen: The Ghost of lockdowns PastJudith Collins may have led the New Zealand National Party to a catastrophic defeat in 2020. But the election result was not of her making. The real turning point for National came twelve weeks before Collins’ elevation to the leadership. In those days the Opposition could still boast of having ...5 days ago
- The Indiscrete Charmlessness Of Upper-Class Rule-Breakers.Rules Are For Little People: Those who claim that all human-beings are equal have obviously never encountered a man on horseback when they are travelling on foot!THE UPPER-CLASS ABSCONDERS from Auckland’s Level 4 Lockdown have done the rest of New Zealand a favour. They have exposed, in the most dramatic ...5 days ago
- Intensifying Covid-19 Control Measures: 5 Measures for Faster Elimination and 5 Measures to Prevent ...Prof Nick Wilson, Dr Julie Bennett, Dr Leah Grout, Dr Jin Russell, Dr Jennifer Summers, Prof Michael Baker Despite some good progress, the persisting Covid-19 outbreak in Auckland still poses risks to health, social wellbeing and the economy. There is a need for accelerated efforts to ensure more rapid ...5 days ago
- The definition of my sex is not hate speech
NZME (publishers of the NZ Herald newspaper, among others) has joined the de-platforming of Speak Up For Women after a few online gender identity activists complained on Twitter about an advertisement in a rival paper the Otago Daily Times. SUFW were to run advertisements in NZME papers too as part of ...5 days ago - Climate Change: Some “emergency”Jacinda Ardern: 'Climate change is my generation's nuclear-free moment', Newshub, 20 August 2017: In her campaign launch speech in Auckland on Sunday, Ms Ardern called climate change "my generation's nuclear free moment". [...] "There will always be those who say it's too difficult. There will be those who say ...6 days ago
- Thinking is Power: How to do your own researchThis is a re-post from the Thinking is Power website maintained by Melanie Trecek-King where she regularly writes about many aspects of critical thinking in an effort to provide accessible and engaging critical thinking information to the general public. Note: This article is the second of a two-part series on “doing your own ...6 days ago
- Climate explained: how much of the world’s energy comes from fossil fuels and could we replace it ...How are fossil fuels formed, why do they release carbon dioxide and how much of the world’s energy do they provide? And what are the renewable energy sources that could replace fossil fuels? Fossil fuels were formed over millions of years from the remains of plants and animals trapped ...6 days ago
- Climate Change: We need more than excuses on methaneMethane is a powerful greenhouse gas. While its lifetime in the atmosphere is limited - its half-life is 9.1 years, so any given amount is almost entirely gone after a hundred years - it is far better at trapping heat. Averaged over a century it has a global warming potential ...6 days ago
- NZ Politics Daily: 15 September 2021Today’s NZPD testimonial from Colin James, political commentator, author “Bryce Edwards’ five-days-a-week digest of links to articles on policy and politics is a valuable resource, both on the day for those who need to know or are just plain interested and as an archive for those who need or want to track ...6 days ago
- Graham Adams: The double-edged sword of the $55m government journalism fund cuts deepTVNZ’s apparent lack of interest in Dr Siouxsie Wiles’ unmasked trip to the beach has raised questions about the media’s impartiality. Graham Adams assesses the fallout. On Sunday morning, National’s Dr Shane Reti asked on Facebook for people’s “thoughts” about TVNZ’s decision not to broadcast the video of Dr ...6 days ago
- One mine at a time…Some good news for the climate today: another coal mine is closing: The Ohai coal mine is closing in two weeks and rehabilitation of the site is expected to begin next month. Ohai and New Vale coal general manager Antony Stodart said “business at the Ohai based coal mine ...7 days ago
- Plotting the Auckland Delta Outbreak
A graph of Auckland Delta cases since lockdown began: As one can see, we’ve been good at getting the adult cases under control – the recent daily spikes being disproportionately children. That suggests infections within families, rather than across families. So far, so good anyway, and sufficient to ...7 days ago - We managed to toilet train cows (and they learned faster than a toddler). It could help combat clima...Douglas Elliffe, University of Auckland and Lindsay Matthews, University of Auckland Can we toilet train cattle? Would we want to? The answer to both of these questions is yes — and doing so could help us address issues of water contamination and climate change. Cattle urine is high in ...7 days ago
- Submission on Births, Deaths, Marriages and Relationships Registration Bill. . . . . Other Blogs Boots Theory: End conversion therapy in Aotearoa Boots Theory: Support accurate birth certificates for trans and non-binary people Previous related blogposts First they came… Apartheid in Aotearoa New Zealand – yes, it does exist Fairfax media and Kiwiblog revise incorrect story denigrating trans-people Anti-trans ...7 days ago
- Talking Up David SeymourThere is no sign in recent issues of the Herald that it has abandoned in any way its underlying strategy and goal of undermining the government in the hope that it can be replaced at the next election by a National government. So why has the Herald continued to blow ...7 days ago
- How big companies are targeting middle income countries to boost ultra-processed food salesEdwin Kwong, The University of Melbourne; Joanna Williams, Swinburne University of Technology; Phillip Baker, Deakin University; Rob Moodie, The University of Melbourne, and Thiago M Santos, Federal University of Pelotas Ultra-processed foods might not be a familiar term to many people. But it is an emerging, and increasingly dominant ...7 days ago
- Ngā āhuatanga ka akona mai ki a tātou e te ao Māori, mō te ao pakihi o āpōpōBen Walker, Te Herenga Waka — Victoria University of Wellington; Erin Roxburgh-Makea, Te Herenga Waka — Victoria University of Wellington; Jesse Pirini, Te Herenga Waka — Victoria University of Wellington, and Stephen Cummings, Te Herenga Waka — Victoria University of Wellington Mai i te ētita: Nā Piripi Walker i whakamāori ...7 days ago
- NZ Politics Daily: 14 September 2021Today’s NZPD testimonial from Claudette Hauiti, Producer/Host at Radio Waatea: “Me tuku mihi ki a koe me tou mahi i te ao pāpaho o Aotearoa. Thank you for your invaluable contribution to critical information sharing. I appreciate the range and depth of articles distributed and especially support your inclusion of Māori ...7 days ago
- The Microbiologist, the Caretaker Leader, and some Nasty Germs. . (* Fiji’s death troll is likely to be under-reported.) . . . References ODT: Collins calls Dr Siouxsie Wiles ‘a big, fat hypocrite’ Stuff media: Covid-19 – Dr Siouxsie Wiles warns of ‘disinformation’ after claims she was caught breaking lockdown rules ODT: Dr Wiles hits back at ...7 days ago
- Free Speech, done Newshub-style. . . . . References Newshub Politics: Twitter – Who can reply? People @NewshubPolitics mentioned can reply – 13.9.21 . . . . = fs = ...7 days ago
- Not Understood: Chris Trotter Replies To Susan St John.Wishful Thinker: While the people from the “leafy suburbs’” salaries, house-prices, social-status and children’s futures depend upon them not understanding either the economic disadvantages of unequal wealth distribution, or the sheer dehumanising agony of grinding poverty, then they will go on not understanding it. Do you not understand, Susan, even ...1 week ago
- Legal Beagle: Everything was Done; or some answers to some of the questions people have been asking
On 3 September, New Zealand Police shot and killed Ahamed Samsudeen, shortly after he commenced a knife attack in an Auckland supermarket. Considering him to be highly dangerous, he was under close surveillance. His death meant, that in the days following, the Government and the Courts were able to release ...1 week ago - Furedi on corporate backing for Cancel Culture
Professor Frank Furedi, British academic, author, and commentator, discusses the speed with which the corporate world has internalised the customs/practices/language of the university- and what can be done about it. ...1 week ago - The hottest summer most Americans have ever lived throughThis is a re-post from Yale Climate Connections by Bob Henson An 85-year-old record for summer heat set during the Dust Bowl has met its match. In 2021, the contiguous U.S. had its warmest meteorological summer (June-August) on record, according to NOAA’s National Centers for Environmental Information (NCEI). Records going back ...1 week ago
- Childish bullshit continues in SamoaSamoa's parliament will sit tomorrow, for the first time since it was sworn in in May. But that first sitting only included FAST party MPs. As for the HRPP, they will not be allowed to attend tomorrow. The context here is that the HRPP - or at least the tyrant ...1 week ago
- Another one bites the dustAnother offshore energy permit was surrendered on Friday: permit 60094, owned by Todd Energy: The permit covered an area of Māui dolphin habitat, so its surrender is good news on that front too. According to NZPAM's map, there are now only six offshore exploration permits remaining: one owned by ...1 week ago
- Passport To Covid Safety.The Badge Of Good Citizenship: Why are foreign governments insisting that people wishing to enter their country must present proof of vaccination and non-infection? Because they are committed to keeping their people safe. Why will our own government soon be requiring us to present a vaccination passport before entering a ...1 week ago
- Support accurate birth certificate for trans and non-binary people
Content note: suicide, transphobia I’d wanted to get this done a lot earlier, but we bought a house in the middle of lockdown and that has a tendency to throw every other plan out the window. It’s definitely not perfect and I apologise for anything I’ve missed or messed up ...1 week ago - NZ Politics Daily: 13 September 2021NOTE TO SUBSCRIBERS: Today, we’re continuing with the NZ Politics Daily subscriber drive – please see the testimonial below from Andrew Geddis. Unfortunately, just as the subscriber drive kicked off on Friday, our website went down for the first time. So, if anyone tried to subscribe they would have found ...1 week ago
- 2021 SkS Weekly Climate Change & Global Warming News Roundup #37Listing of articles linked to on the Skeptical Science Facebook Page during the past week: Sun, September 5, 2021 through Sat, September 11, 2021 The following articles sparked above average interest during the week: Climate change deniers are as slippery as those who justified the slave trade, People don’t know what ...1 week ago
- Liam Hehir: The authenticity of Simon BridgesSimon Bridges may not have exuded authenticity when he was Leader of the Opposition, but his new book, National Identity, is exactly that according to reviewer Liam Hehir. He says “It is not a book about conservatism, but it is an honourably conservative book.” I had no expectation of ...1 week ago
- Coronacapitalism: Reverse the Resetby Kobad Ghandy Kobad Ghandy a well known communist in India examines the world economy and the lockdowns of the past 18 months. How deep the economic difficulties facing capitalism run and how sharp any depression may be is a contested area. Redline has mostly argued that the recessions have ...1 week ago
- Reposted articles from Thinking is PowerIn early August 2021 we started to repost selected articles from the Thinking is Power website maintained by Melanie Trecek-King where she regularly writes about many aspects of critical thinking in an effort to provide accessible and engaging critical thinking information to the general public. This page lists the reposted articles in ...1 week ago
- A Beautiful Cage: But Bernard… You Say It Like It’s a Bad Thing
Commentator Bernard Hickey has a pretty astute piece on New Zealand’s predicament in a Coronavirus world: https://thekaka.substack.com/p/dawn-chorus-time-to-stop-kidding The core of Hickey’s argument is that New Zealand can’t re-open its borders, because our health system would be shortly overwhelmed by the virus. Ergo, the borders must remain closed for ...1 week ago - Renting in New Zealand, a sick jokeby Don Franks Everything seemed right with the world yesterday. Sun shining and in Wellington level 2 we can emerge from our bubble and visit friends. While enjoying that freedom, I noticed two doors down from where we were, quite a lot of activity. An estate agent was carefully marshalling ...1 week ago
- Bile and HostilityMike Hosking is a professional journalist and, as such, he presumably wants to be read – and not only read, but taken seriously and believed. It is surprising, therefore, that he seems not to have grasped a basic principle – that someone whose every utterance is obviously coloured by an ...1 week ago
- Implications for mitigating methane emissions in agricultureThis is a re-post from And Then There's Physics Since I was discussing methane in yesterday’s post, I thought I would highlight a paper on [u]nderstanding the implications for mitigating methane emissions in agriculture (H/T Miles King). The reason I found it interesting, is that it uses GWP* (which I try to explain here), rather ...1 week ago
- Should I take Ivermectin?
This guide will help you with that big decision ...1 week ago - Liberal-Conservatives and Social Democrats: The Future of MāoriMichael Cullen set out his political philosophy in his autobiography. So has Chris Finlayson. His is having significant impact on Māori development. Chris Finlayson was Minister for Treaty Negotiations (and Attorney General) between 2008 and 2017. (Alas, he was Minister of Arts, Culture and Heritage for only six of those ...2 weeks ago
- Too many cows in the NetherlandsThe Netherlands has a water quality problem. Too many cows, producing too much shit and piss, which flows into the rivers and poisons them. But they also have a solution: forcing farmers to destock or sell up: Dutch politicians are considering plans to force hundreds of farmers to sell ...2 weeks ago
- Packaging generates a lot of waste – now Maine and Oregon want manufacturers to foot the bill for ...Jessica Heiges, University of California, Berkeley and Kate O’Neill, University of California, Berkeley Most consumers don’t pay much attention to the packaging that their purchases come in, unless it’s hard to open or the item is really over-wrapped. But packaging accounts for about 28% of U.S. municipal solid waste. ...2 weeks ago
- Hard News: Pearl, prescriptions and patient expertsAs I've noted here before, for various reasons, the clinical evidence for cannabis as a teatment for pain and other conditions is not yet compelling. This doesn't mean it won't be, but as the International Association for the Study of Pain put it in a recent position statement, "promising" advances ...2 weeks ago
- Strange And Disturbing Times 2.0Strange And Disturbing: If we are not living through revolutionary times, then what sort of times are we living through? Is there another great historical era that bears comparison with our present period of intellectual and moral ferment? While finding an exact historic parallel is, obviously, an impossibility – no two periods ...2 weeks ago
- The world is desperate for new antibiotics, and New Zealand’s unique fungi are a source of promisi...Siouxsie Wiles, University of Auckland While we’re all rightly focused on the COVID-19 pandemic at the moment, the SARS-CoV-2 virus isn’t the only microbial threat we face. Back in 2014, the World Health Organization (WHO) warned that within a decade, antibiotic-resistant bacteria could make routine surgery, organ transplantation and ...2 weeks ago
- Resolving a genetic mash-up: reconstructing an accurate evolutionary history of kākārikiPrioritising species conservation and over-stretched government funding is built upon an accurate understanding of evolutionary relationships and taxonomy. But what if that evolutionary history is wrong? More importantly, what are the consequences for endangered biodiversity as conservation funding and resources are re-assigned? Numerous examples have come to light in recent ...2 weeks ago
- Improving ventilation in schools: a key protection against Covid-19 outbreaks and an enduring legacy...Dr Amanda Kvalsvig, Dr Julie Bennett, Dr Jin Russell, Dr Jennifer Summers, Dr Leah Grout, Prof Michael Baker, and Prof Nick Wilson* As much of the country moves down Alert Levels, children are returning to in-person learning with little or no protection against the potential spread of Covid-19 infection in ...2 weeks ago
- Making The Terrorism Suppression Act Fit-For-Purpose.Infamous Day: Tomorrow, 11 September 2021, is the twentieth anniversary of the New York and Washington terrorist attacks. Think of the preliminary steps required to make 9/11 happen. Had they been detected, the tragedy could have been prevented. We need legislation equal to that task. HE WAS PROBABLY the smartest student ...2 weeks ago
- Languishing, burnout and stigma are all among the possible psychological impacts as Delta lingers in...Dougal Sutherland, Te Herenga Waka — Victoria University of Wellington As New Zealand remains under different levels of restriction, the psychological toll of the Delta outbreak may start to show, even as lockdown eases for everyone outside Auckland. We know that stress and isolation associated with a lockdown can ...2 weeks ago
- Open letter calling for ACC to cover all birth injuries and trauma reaches 10,000 signatures
In less than 12 hours, more than 10,000 people have signed on the Green Party’s open letter asking for ACC to cover all birth injuries and trauma. ...5 days ago - Greens call for all birth injuries to be covered by ACC, launch open letterThe Green Party is launching an open letter to the Minister for ACC asking for all birth injuries and trauma to be covered, and the letter has strong support from the sector. ...5 days ago
- Our mihi to the ways te reo Māori can unite and inspire through COVID
Kia ora e te whānau, and happy Te Wiki o Te Reo Māori! Yes, it’s Māori Language Week. And even though we’ll be celebrating a little differently this year as we work to stamp out mate korona, there are still plenty of opportunities to embrace this taonga and advance our ...7 days ago - Alert Level 2: Everything you need to knowStamping out COVID-19 isn’t easy, but together, we are stronger than the virus. We’ve made good progress, but the job still isn’t done. We need to stay vigilant to stop the spread. Here’s where you can find the essential information you need to stay safe at Alert Level 2. ...2 weeks ago
- Greens call for immediate student support, launches petitionGreen Party Tertiary Education Spokesperson Chlöe Swarbrick has launched a petition calling for immediate, meaningful support for students, saying the Government’s announced boost to the student hardship funds doesn’t go far enough. ...2 weeks ago
- Greens say Govt investment in public transport, walking, cycling is not enoughThe Green Party welcomes the $6 billion being invested in public transport, walking and cycling through the National Land Transport Programme, as announced by the Minister of Transport today, however says it is nowhere near enough. ...2 weeks ago
- Greens’ Te Mātāwaka Caucus responds to ACT leader’s racial sabotageThe Green Party’s Te Mātāwaka is calling out ACT leader David Seymour for apparently targeting Māori vaccination providers for political gain. Mr Seymour publicly shared vaccine booking information which was intended for Māori communities. ...2 weeks ago
- Auckland Central MP welcomes relocated COVID-19 vaccination centre with increased capacityAuckland Central MP Chlöe Swarbrick welcomes the relocation of the City Centre’s dedicated COVID-19 Vaccination Centre from Elliot Street to a larger space on Graham Street, just up from Victoria Park, which will provide close to double the capacity. ...2 weeks ago
- Auckland Central MP welcomes City Rail Link hardship schemeAuckland Central MP Chlöe Swarbrick is welcoming the hardship scheme for small businesses impacted by the development of the City Rail Link, announced by the Mayor of Auckland and Minister of Transport today. ...3 weeks ago
- Greens urge more support for vulnerable families in lockdownThe Green Party calls on the Government to urgently provide relief for people and families doing it tough, as a new report from the Salvation Army shows the need for emergency food parcels and welfare support escalating. ...3 weeks ago
- Joint Statement: New Zealand and Australian Trade Ministers
Hon Damien O'Connor MP, New Zealand Minister for Trade and Export Growth, and Hon Dan Tehan MP, Australian Minister for Trade, Tourism and Investment, met virtually on Monday 20 September to advance trans-Tasman cooperation under the Australia-New Zealand Closer Economic Relations Trade Agreement (CER). CER is one of the most ...13 hours ago - Prime Minister’s Post Cabinet Press Conference/COVID-19 Update opening statement***Please check against delivery*** E te tī, e te tā, nau mai rā [To all, I bid you welcome] As you will have seen earlier, today there are 22 new community cases to report; three of which are in Whakatiwai in the Hauraki area, and the remainder in ...15 hours ago
- Major milestones for Māori COVID-19 vaccine rollout as new campaign launchesWhānau Ora and Associate Health (Māori Health) Minister Peeni Henare acknowledges two major milestones in the rollout of the COVID-19 vaccination programme for Māori. “I am very pleased to announce more than 50 percent of eligible Māori have received their first dose and 25 per cent are now fully vaccinated,” ...2 days ago
- Government funding to fight infectious diseases$36 million for research into Covid-19 and other infectious diseases The investment will improve our readiness for future pandemics Research will focus on prevention, control, and management of infectious diseases The Government’s investing in a new Infectious Diseases Research Platform to boost Aotearoa New Zealand’s Covid-19 response and preparedness for ...2 days ago
- Quarantine-free travel with Australia to remain suspended for a further 8 weeksSuspension to be reviewed again mid to late November Decision brought forward to enable access from Australia to first tranche of around 3000 rooms in MIQ Air New Zealand working at pace to put on more flights from Australia from October The suspension of quarantine-free travel (QFT) with Australia has ...4 days ago
- Extra support for Ethnic Communities to share vaccination informationExtra support is being made available to Ethnic Communities to help them share COVID-19 vaccination information within their communities, Minister for Diversity, Inclusion and Ethnic Communities Priyanca Radhakrishnan said. “We know we need to get every eligible person in New Zealand vaccinated. A fund being launched today will allow for ...4 days ago
- School holidays remain unchanged for Auckland regionSchool holidays in Auckland will continue to be held at the same time as the rest of the country, starting from Saturday, 2 October, Education Minister Chris Hipkins said today. “I’ve carefully considered advice on the implications of shifting the dates and concluded that on balance, maintaining the status quo ...4 days ago
- Government continues crackdown on gangs and organised crimeOperation Tauwhiro extended until March 2022 Since it was launched in February, Operation Tauwhiro has resulted in: 987 firearms seized $4.99 million in cash seized 865 people charged with a firearms-related offence Gangs and organised crime groups will continue to be relentlessly targeted with the extension of Police’s successful ...4 days ago
- Speech to Body Positive 'HIV Treatments Update Seminar 2021'E ngā mana E ngā reo E ngā iwi Tēnā koutou katoa Ka huri ki ngā mana whenua o te rohe nei. Tēnā koutou. He mihi hoki ki a tatou kua tau mai nei I raro I te kaupapa o te rā. Nō reira tēnā koutou katoa Acknowledgements It’s a ...4 days ago
- Power bill changes bring fairness to chargesA key recommendation of an independent panel to make electricity charges fairer across all households will be put in place, the Energy and Resources Minister Megan Woods has announced. “Phasing out the regulations on ‘low-use’ electricity plans will create a fairer playing field for all New Zealanders and encourage a ...4 days ago
- NZ economy’s strong momentum will support rebound from Delta outbreak; COVID fund replenishedThe economy showed strong momentum in the period leading up to the recent Delta COVID-19 outbreak, which bodes well for a solid economic rebound, Grant Robertson said. GDP rose 2.8 percent in the June quarter, following on from a 1.4 percent increase in the previous March quarter. This was a ...5 days ago
- Projects create benefits into the futureMaking a well-known lake swimmable and helping to halt the decline of the endangered hoiho/yellow-eyed penguins are among a suite of new projects being supported by the Government’s Jobs for Nature programme across the southern South Island, Conservation Minister Kiri Allan says. “It’s no secret that many of our most ...5 days ago
- Opening statement for Whāriki Indigenous Small Business RoundtableKei ngā tōpito e wha o te āo e rere ana te mihi maioha ki a koutou nō tawhiti, nō tata mai e tāpiri ana ki tēnei taumata kōrero mo te ao hokohoko arā mā ngā pākihi mo ngā iwi taketake Tēnā koutou, tēnā koutou katoa – Pai Mārire. ...5 days ago
- New members appointed to KāpuiaThe Government is adding four additional members to Kāpuia, the Ministerial Advisory Group on the Government’s Response to the Royal Commission of Inquiry into the terrorist attack on Christchurch mosques. “I’m looking forward to having Pamela MacNeill, Huia Bramley, Melani Anae and Katherine Dedo join Kāpuia and contribute to this group’s ...6 days ago
- Timeline confirmed for Emissions Reductions PlanCabinet has agreed to begin consulting on the Emissions Reduction Plan in early October and require that the final plan be released by the end of May next year in line with the 2022 Budget, the Minister of Climate Change, James Shaw confirmed today. “Cabinet’s decision allows organisations and communities ...6 days ago
- Pay parity pathway for early learning teachers confirmedPay parity conditions and higher funding rates for education and care services will come into force on 1 January, 2022, Minister of Education Chris Hipkins confirmed today. The Government signalled this work in Budget 2021. “From 1 January, 2022, centres opting into the scheme will receive government funding and be ...6 days ago
- Speech to the New Zealand Nurses Organisation Conference 2021Kia Ora tatau katoa. Ka tuku mihi ki nga nēhi, He pou Hauora o Aotearoa, E ora ai tatou. Whakatau mai I runga i te kaupapa o te ra Te NZNO conference. Tena koutou tena koutou Tena tatou katoa Good morning, and thank you inviting me ...6 days ago
- Government investment in farmer-led catchment groups sweeps past 150 mark171 catchment groups have now been invested in by the Government 31 catchment groups in the Lower North Island are receiving new support More than 5,000 farmers are focussed on restoring freshwater within a generation through involvement in catchment groups Government investment in on-the-ground efforts by farmers to improve land ...7 days ago
- Fight to protect kauri on trackThe Government is pitching in to help vital work to protect nationally significant kauri forests in Auckland, Minister of Conservation Kiri Allan says. “Ensuring the survival of these iconic trees for future generations means doing everything we can to prevent the potential spread of kauri dieback disease,” Kiri Allan said. ...7 days ago
- Joint statement of Mr Bernard Monk; Hon Andrew Little, Minister Responsible for Pike River Re-entry,...[Note: The Parties have agreed on terms to fully and finally settle the proceeding and will jointly issue the below statement.] At the heart of this litigation are the lives of the 29 men tragically lost at the Pike River mine on 19 November 2010 and to whom we pay ...7 days ago
- More financial support for businessesToday’s decision to keep Auckland in a higher COVID Alert Level triggers a third round of the Wage Subsidy Scheme which will open for applications at 9am this Friday. “The revenue test period for this payment will be the 14th to the 27th of September. A reminder that this is ...1 week ago
- Aotearoa New Zealand provides further humanitarian support for AfghanistanAotearoa New Zealand is providing a further $3 million in humanitarian assistance in Afghanistan, Foreign Minister Nanaia Mahuta announced today. “There is significant humanitarian need in Afghanistan, with the crisis disproportionately affecting women and girls,” said Nanaia Mahuta. The UN has estimated that 80% of the quarter of a million ...1 week ago
- Innovative te reo prediction tool announced in Te Wiki o Te Reo MāoriA new Māori language prediction tool will play a key role in tracking our te reo Māori revitalisation efforts, Minister for Māori Development Willie Jackson announced today. He Ara Poutama mō te reo Māori (He Ara Poutama) can forecast the number of conversational and fluent speakers of te reo Māori ...1 week ago
- Further Government support for people to access food and essential itemsThe Government is responding to need for support in Auckland and has committed a further $10 million to help people access ongoing food and other essential items, Minister for Social Development Carmel Sepuloni announced today. This latest tranche is targeted at the Auckland region, helping providers and organisations to distribute ...1 week ago
- Half a million Pfizer vaccines from DenmarkThe Government has secured an extra half a million doses of Pfizer COVID-19 vaccines from Denmark that will start arriving in New Zealand within days, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern announced today. “This is the second and larger agreement the Government has entered into to purchase additional vaccines to meet the ...1 week ago
- Inland Revenue providing essential COVID support for businessesInland Revenue is seeing increased demand for Resurgence Support Payments and other assistance schemes that it administers, but is processing applications quickly, Revenue Minister David Parker said today. David Parker said the Resurgence Support Payment, the Small Business Cashflow (loan) Scheme and the Wage Subsidy are available at the same ...1 week ago
- New Zealand marks 20th anniversary of 9/11 attacksNew Zealand is expressing unity with all victims, families and loved ones affected by the September 11 2001 terrorist attacks, and all terrorist attacks around the world since, including in New Zealand. “Saturday marks twenty years since the 9/11 terrorist attacks in the United States, which killed nearly 3,000 people ...2 weeks ago
- Speech to SPREP Environment MinistersTalofa Honourable Ulu of Tokelau Faipule Kelihiano Kalolo Tēnā koutou katoa and warm Pacific greetings from Aotearoa to your excellencies, ladies and gentlemen. The new science released by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change on 8 August paints an alarming picture of the projected impacts of climate change on the ...2 weeks ago
- Additional Resurgence Support Payments to support businessBusinesses affected by higher Alert Levels will be able to apply for further Resurgence Support Payments (RSP). “The Government’s RSP was initially intended as a one-off payment to help businesses with their fixed costs, such as rent. Ministers have agreed to provide additional payments to recognise the effects of an ...2 weeks ago
- More Dawn Raids scholarships announcedDetails of the ‘Manaaki New Zealand Short Term Training Scholarships’, a goodwill gesture that follows the Government’s apology for the Dawn Raids of the 1970s, were released today by Pacific Peoples Minister Aupito William Sio. “These scholarships that are targeted to the Pacific will support the kaupapa of the Dawn Raids’ ...2 weeks ago
- One-way quarantine-free travel for RSE workers starting in OctoberOne-way quarantine-free travel for Recognised Seasonal Employer (RSE) workers from Samoa, Tonga and Vanuatu starts in October New requirement for RSE workers to have received their first vaccination pre-departure, undertake Day 0 and Day 5 tests, and complete a self-isolation period of seven days, pending a negative Day 5 ...2 weeks ago
- Govt boosts Pacific suicide prevention supportApplications have opened for the Pacific Suicide Prevention Community Fund as the Government acts to boost support amid the COVID delta outbreak. “We know strong and connected families and communities are the most important protective factor against suicide and this $900,000 fund will help to support this work,” Health Minister ...2 weeks ago
- Govt parks the expiry of licenses, WoFs and regosAs a result of the Delta outbreak, driver licences, Warrants of Fitness (WoFs), Certificates of Fitness (CoFs), vehicle licences (‘regos’) and licence endorsements that expired on or after 21 July 2021 will be valid until 30 November 2021, Transport Minister Michael Wood has announced today. “While this extension won’t officially ...2 weeks ago
- COVID-19 community fund to provide support for vulnerable women and girlsMinister for Women Jan Tinetti today announced a $2 million community fund that will provide support for women and girls adversely affected by COVID-19. “We know that women, particularly those who are already vulnerable, are disproportionally affected by the kind of economic disruption caused by COVID-19,” Jan Tinetti said. ...2 weeks ago
- Next phase of support for Fiji’s COVID-19 response announcedA further NZ$12 million of support for Fiji’s COVID-19 response has been announced by Foreign Minister Hon Nanaia Mahuta today. The package builds on previous tranches of assistance Aotearoa New Zealand has provided to Fiji, totalling over NZ$50 million. “Fiji remains in a very challenging position in their response to ...2 weeks ago
- Robotic asparagus harvester aimed at addressing industry challengesThe Government is backing a $5 million project to develop a commercial-scale autonomous robotic asparagus harvester, Agriculture Minister Damien O’Connor announced today. The Sustainable Food and Fibre Futures fund (SFF Futures) is contributing $2.6 million to the project. Project partner Robotics Plus Limited (RPL) will build on a prototype asparagus ...2 weeks ago
- Additional Pfizer vaccines to arrive tomorrowMore than a quarter of a million additional doses of the Pfizer vaccine are on their way from Spain to New Zealand, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern announced today. The additional doses will arrive in Auckland on Friday morning to help meet the current surge in demand for vaccination. “It’s been ...2 weeks ago
- Young people to have their voices heard in Youth Parliament 2022The dates and details for Youth Parliament 2022 have been announced today by Minister for Youth Priyanca Radhakrishnan, and the Speaker of the House of Representatives. Youth Parliament is an opportunity for 141 young people from across Aotearoa New Zealand to experience the political process and learn how government works. ...2 weeks ago
- Boosting support for tertiary students affected by COVID-19Students facing a hard time as a result of COVID-19 restrictions will continue to be supported,” Education Minister Chris Hipkins confirmed today. The Government is putting a further $20 million into the Hardship Fund for Learners, which will help around 15,000 students to stay connected to their studies and learning. ...2 weeks ago
- COVID-19: Immediate relief available for Māori and iwi organisationsThe Government has reprioritised up to $5 million to provide immediate relief to vulnerable whānau Māori and communities during the current COVID-19 outbreak Minister for Māori Development Willie Jackson announced today. The COVID-19 2021 Whānau Recovery Fund will support community-driven, local responses to gaps in access and provision of critical ...2 weeks ago
- ‘A calculated risk’ as restrictions eased
Auckland’s move to level three has left some experts worried that delta could spring back to life as hundreds of thousands of people are called back to work, Justin Giovannetti writes in The Bulletin.We’ve never been here before. One of the most infectious variants of Covid-19 is still appearing unexpectedly in ...4 mins ago - Anti-terror law back before Parliament today, but faces opposition
Legislation introducing a new offence for planning a terrorist attack comes back to Parliament today, after being expedited as a result of the LynnMall attack. ...51 mins ago - How Australia is laughing all the way to the bank
Commitments to more investment in research like this year's infectious diseases funding are critical to sustainably recovering from this month's very sharp economic contraction. ...54 mins ago - Illusions Of History: How Misunderstanding The Past Jeopardises Our Future
The 2.8 percent jump in GDP in the June quarter 2021 does not mean that the government’s economic strategy is sound. In fact, it is dangerous wishful thinking based on a false reading of history, according to a new research report from The New Zealand ...1 hour ago - Call To Address Pay Equity For Community Social Workers Gathers Urgency On Social Workers’ DayOrganisations representing community social services and social workers have joined forces to launch a collective call for pay equity and fair funding this Social Workers’ Day, September 22. Employers, union representatives and social worker advocates say ...2 hours ago
- Newsroom daily quiz, Tuesday 21 September2 hours ago
- Newsroom daily crossword, Tuesday 21 September2 hours ago
- Auckland is heading into alert level three. How do the rules change?As of 11.59pm tonight, Tuesday September 21, greater Auckland moves from level four to level three. What are the rules?The Spinoff is committed to clear, timely and independent coverage of the Covid crisis – help us keep that work free for all to read by joining Spinoff Members now.Which parts ...2 hours ago
- Why improving air quality is key to preventing Covid outbreaks in schoolsNew Zealand classrooms are often crowded, damp, mouldy and poorly ventilated – prime conditions for Covid to spread. And with new strains affecting children more than ever, making our schools safer should be an urgent priority, writes public health researcher Julie Bennett. Children in most parts of the country have returned ...2 hours ago
- Montague faces hurdles before MMA world title bid
Travelling the globe on her own, unsure of when she'll return home, Kiwi MMA fighter Michelle Montague won't be deterred on her way to a world title bid in Kazakhstan Michelle Montague isn't letting a series of obstacles derail her plans to become a mixed martial arts world champion for a second time. ...2 hours ago - How 'traffic light' system for reopening borders will work
The Government will take 10 factors into account when determining how risky each country is once the borders reopen. ...2 hours ago - Oliver Hartwich: A torpedo to European security
France is furious, Europe is weakened and the concept of alliances is in doubt after the big move by the United States and Britain to use Australia in their cold war with China ...2 hours ago - Neil Gaiman recommends
A round-up of good things for Māori writing and Māori writers First the good news: there is no bad news in this story about recent developments in Māori writing. This story is purely and only about things happening to Māori writers and Māori writing which are pretty damned good. THE ...2 hours ago - Wellbeing budgets not a PR exercise
A recent critique of the Government’s wellbeing budgets misses the larger context that they are part of a growing international movement. It also fails to acknowledge the complexity of the issues being addressed, argues Justin Connolly. Dennis Wesselbaum recently called for better public policy to support greater wellbeing in New ...2 hours ago - Human connection trumps internet connection, for young and old
There's a new Covid-created opportunity to narrow the digital divide – and business and government leaders know they need to work with grassroots community workers to grasp that opportunity | Partnership content Aunty Hei lives by herself near Māngere, where the people and experiences of South Auckland slosh together in ...2 hours ago - A 'next level' plan for Covid in 2022
When it comes to New Zealand’s Covid-19 response, we should be able to think big and consider far-fetched and expensive options in order to avoid more lockdowns, argue Professor Philip Hill, Tony McFall and Professor Kurt Krause If there is one thing that's clear to everyone in New Zealand as we move forward into ...2 hours ago - Keeping a secret, secret
Our name suppression laws seem easy to circumvent - and applying to have your name kept out of the media often seems to fuel a quest to publish. What are the rules really aimed at? When a rich and connected Auckland couple broke Covid rules to holiday in Wanaka, the ...2 hours ago - Courier delays expected as Auckland businesses open up to fulfil backlog orders
NZ Post asks for patience as Auckland drops alert levels to allow deliveries of non-essential items. ...2 hours ago - Three lockdown lessons for the environment
A study on the habits of Victoria University of Wellington students and staff during lockdown revealed three notable lifestyle changes. Andrew Wilks looks at how locking down improves sustainability. Comment: Pandemic lockdowns are tough—anxiety levels are raised, social contact is limited, and work life is turned upside down. For most of ...2 hours ago - Modern slavery: Time for NZ legislation
Several proposed Members' Bills have failed in the NZ Parliament and this country has fallen behind other nations in forcing businesses to prevent forced labour being used in their products. Modern slavery: we may look on the very idea with horror, but most New Zealanders regularly buy goods produced overseas ...2 hours ago - Level 3 'till Christmas': Government's great gamble
The Government will entrust contact tracers with the mission of stamping out the Delta outbreak, but the consequences of failure are disastrous, Marc Daalder reports Analysis: Less than an hour after Jacinda Ardern announced Auckland would move to Level 3 from Tuesday night, epidemiologists and disease modellers formed a party ...2 hours ago - Who gives a tweet about MIQ misery
The government’s choice of a randomised electronic queue for the distribution of 3,000 MIQ rooms yesterday had one surprising benefit. It showed just how many New Zealanders were desperate enough to stand in e-line – more than 26,000 according to Stuff. It also reminds us that while ministers and ...10 hours ago - New Zealand government takes a calculated risk to relax Auckland’s lockdown while new cases contin...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Michael Plank, Professor in Applied Mathematics, University of Canterbury Fiona Goodall/Getty Images The decision to move Auckland to alert level 3 from midnight on Tuesday is a calculated risk by the government. New daily cases in Auckland have stayed stubbornly ...12 hours ago - COVID will likely shift from pandemic to endemic — but what does that mean?Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Lara Herrero, Research Leader in Virology and Infectious Disease, Griffith University Most people are wondering when and how the COVID pandemic will end and there are still no easy answers. The word “endemic” is regularly mentioned, especially among public health leaders and ...13 hours ago
- Why you shouldn’t make a habit of doing a ‘just in case’ wee — and don’t tell your kids to...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Jennifer King, Honorary Clinical Lecturer, University of Sydney Shutterstock We’ve all done done a quick “just in case” wee before heading out or because we’re passing the bathroom. If you’re a parent, you might have also told the kids to ...13 hours ago
- Why is southeast Asia so concerned about AUKUS and Australia’s plans for nuclear submarines?Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By James Chin, Professor of Asian Studies, University of Tasmania The announcement of a new strategic alliance between Australia, the US and UK (AUKUS) has caught many by surprise. Besides France, which reacted with fury over Australia’s scrapping of a major submarine deal ...14 hours ago
- Relief for Auckland – more rules for Mangatangi
Aucklanders can breathe a sigh of relief stepping down to Alert Level 3, but for a small community in Waikato it's back to Alert Level 4, for now Cabinet has decided to move Auckland out of lockdown at 11.59pm on Tuesday after it received advice that there is "no significant ...15 hours ago - Coalition gains a point in Newspoll, but Morrison slides back into net negative ratingsSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Adrian Beaumont, Honorary Associate, School of Mathematics and Statistics, The University of Melbourne AAP/Joel Carrett This week’s Newspoll, conducted September 15-18 from a sample a little over 1,500, gave Labor a 53-47 lead, a one-point gain for the Coalition since ...16 hours ago
- Australia’s COVID plan was designed before we knew how Delta would hit us. We need more flexibilit...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By John Quiggin, Professor, School of Economics, The University of Queensland Lukas Coch/AAP The great economist John Maynard Keynes, when accused of inconsistency on some policy, is credited with saying: “When the facts change, I change my mind. What do you ...17 hours ago
- ‘No other people popular like Franco Cozzo in Melbourne’: a new film explores his colorful, hard...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By David Nichols, Senior Lecturer – Urban Planning, The University of Melbourne Sharmill Films Review: Palazzo di Cozzo, directed by Madeleine Martiniello Every Melburnian over 40, and many under, knows (or thinks they know) who Franco Cozzo is. He rose to ...18 hours ago
- Whiteness in the time of COVID: Australia’s health services still leaving vulnerable communities b...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Kelly Menzel, Assistant Professor – First Nations Health, Bond University Due to the ongoing effects of colonisation, First Nations peoples often experience socio-economic disadvantage and health inequality. The pandemic has no doubt worsened these conditions for some. In addition, the health ...18 hours ago
- The way out of Alert Level Four Covid confinement (it seems) is to get arrested and be freed on rema...
The Beehive website has been focused on Covid-related news in recent days – each of the last four press statements from ministers is related to Covid-19 issues and, for good measure, we can include a statement which arrived in our email in-tray yesterday from Peeni Henare which has not yet ...18 hours ago - End funding to the Kahukura programThe New Zealand Taxpayers’ Union is calling for the Government to end funding to the Kahukura meth rehab program after a devastating analysis of the program from Judge Russell Collins. Executive Director the Union Jordan Williams says, “The ...18 hours ago
- Closing the digital divide requires ‘constant attention’, say education expertsEach day of lockdown is exacerbating the digital divide for many, but experts say the answers will be found in the communities worst affected.The divide between the digital haves and have-nots continues to be one of the major fallouts from this pandemic, according to education minister Chris Hipkins. Despite more ...19 hours ago
- The desperate crowd in the MIQ lobby
With the unveiling of the MIQ virtual lobby booking system this morning, Kiwis trying to get home are starting to wonder if they ever actually will A few weeks ago, the announcement of a virtual lobby and queue system coming to the MIQ booking system got hopes up worldwide ...19 hours ago - “Purpose-built MIQ facilities are urgently needed”The Opportunities Party (TOP) says the Government must not waste any more time and provide facilities that are fit-for purpose for the long-term management of this persistent virus. “25,000 Kiwis are trapped overseas and unable to return because ...19 hours ago
- The Spinoff Covid tracker: 15 live graphs that tell the story of delta in AotearoaEverything you need to know about how the Covid-19 pandemic is tracking in New Zealand, through regularly updated data visualisations.The Spinoff Covid tracker brings together all the relevant Covid data – cases, tests, vaccination and mobility – in one place.The aim of this page is to show the numbers in ...19 hours ago
- Australian students say they understand global issues, but few are learning another language compare...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Sarah Richardson, Research Director, Surveys and International Assessments, Australian Council for Educational Research students More Australian 15 year olds feel they are familiar with global issues such as climate change, migration, causes of poverty and equality between men and women than ...19 hours ago
- TOP says purpose-built MIQ Facilities are urgently needed“25,000 Kiwis are trapped overseas and unable to return because we have severely limited MIQ spaces. 25,000 Kiwis unable to see terminally ill loved ones, unable to celebrate milestones with friends and families, and unable to return to live in ...20 hours ago
- Newsletter: New Zealand Politics Daily – September 20 2021Editor’s Note: Here below is a list of the main issues currently under discussion in New Zealand and links to media coverage. You can sign up to NZ Politics Daily as well as New Zealand Political Roundup columns for free here. Today’s content AUKUS, foreign affairs, trade Audrey Young (Herald): Preparing ...20 hours ago
- All the locations of interest on an interactive NZ map, sorted by exposure time and date of listingView all places of interest on the maps below, and sort by both the dates of potential exposure and the days when added. Plus: a searchable table with all locations. Built by the Spinoff’s head of data, Harkanwal Singh.The Spinoff’s coverage of the Covid story depends on support from Members. ...20 hours ago
- Whanganui racetracks sees half a dozen greyhounds injuredAt a racing meet last Wednesday, six dogs were injured at the Whanganui greyhound racing track. Two of the dogs suffered broken legs, with a third suspected. Two of the dogs are undergoing x-rays to confirm. ...21 hours ago
- How the pandemic propelled these home cooks to social media stardomLooking to spice up their weeknights, cooped-up New Zealanders have been seeking culinary inspiration on their phones, and these three clever cooks have capitalised. Greeting her 29,000 followers with a peppy “It’s Friday!” Polly Markus, of Miss Polly’s Kitchen, gestures enthusiastically at the camera while explaining her latest creation.Describing the meal, ...21 hours ago
- Health reforms: Wider role for pharmacistsTo mark World Pharmacists Day on 25 September, the Pharmaceutical Society of New Zealand is calling for the Government to ensure a wider range of healthcare services are available at your local pharmacy. According to Professor Rhiannon Braund, president ...21 hours ago
- Waikato cases throw wrench into Govt's works
Analysis: Three new cases in the Waikato and the spectre of more than a week of community transmission have derailed the Government's likely decision to move Auckland to Level 3, Marc Daalder reports With the Cabinet poised to move Auckland down to Level 3 after the country's longest ever Level ...21 hours ago - The battle of Highland Park: Supermarkets stand-off despite public promise
Supermarkets in stand-off despite public promise to Commerce Commission ...21 hours ago - The battle of Highland Park: Supermarkets in stand-off despite public promiseBetween two Countdown supermarkets is an open air shopping mall that has been left desolate by the country's warring supermarket chains – and regardless of shiny promises to the Commerce Commission, nothing is changing yet Barber Marja Bol cut a lot of locals' hair over the seven years she worked ...21 hours ago
- NZ Left Out of the AUKUS Military InitiativeThe recently announced military alliance between the United States, the United Kingdom, and the government of Australia is related to strategic and vital sales of naval weapons capability and not a unique new defence strategy. ...22 hours ago
- The hunt for New Zealand’s best meal kit delivery serviceJihee Junn crunches the numbers on a recent study comparing the biggest players in the meal kit game. As a single, childless individual who doesn’t really mind filling up on five bowls of oatmeal a day, I can’t say I’ve ever been one to fully embrace the meal kit movement. But ...22 hours ago
- Undersea internet cables connect Pacific islands to the world. But geopolitical tension is tugging a...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Amanda H A Watson, Research Fellow, Department of Pacific Affairs, Australian National University Cable coming ashore from a ship. Coral Sea Cable System If you’ve ever emailed a resort in Fiji or Vanuatu about that long-awaited holiday, it’s likely your email travelled ...23 hours ago
- Why unions support vaccination — but not employer mandatesSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Joo-Cheong Tham, Professor, Melbourne Law School, The University of Melbourne The American union movement has split over President Joe Biden’s proposal for companies with more than 100 employees to vaccinate their workforces against COVID-19. With increasing numbers of employers mandating COVID-19 ...23 hours ago
- People dropped whisky into their noses to treat Spanish flu. Here’s what else they took that would...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Philippa Martyr, Lecturer, Pharmacology, Women’s Health, School of Biomedical Sciences, The University of Western Australia Shutterstock We’re researching COVID-19 in a fast-paced world with new data becoming available all the time. We track which interventions work well and which ones ...23 hours ago
- Yes, Australia is buying a fleet of nuclear submarines. But nuclear-powered electricity must not com...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Ian Lowe, Emeritus Professor, School of Science, Griffith University Shutterstock The federal government on Thursday announced a landmark defence pact with the United States and United Kingdom that involves this nation acquiring nuclear-powered submarines. The question of nuclear submarines in ...23 hours ago
- Delayed graduations, no formals — the class of 2021 has had a hell of a year. They need mental hea...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Caroline Hunt, Professor of Clinical Psychology, University of Sydney Shutterstock In August this year, the Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA) published research charting the impact of the pandemic on the mental health of young people. In the first ...23 hours ago
- The fraying tempers and fracturing resolve of Victoria’s endless lockdownThe state of Victoria has now spent almost two months in lockdown, its seventh since the pandemic began. It’s little surprise that the mood has turned so dark in recent days, writes Joe Nunweek, a New Zealander based in MelbourneI got home to Aotearoa from Narrm for a few weeks’ ...23 hours ago
- Level change at risk from three cases in Waikato
Three new Covid cases just outside the Auckland boundaries prompt a call for Auckland's Level 4 lockdown to be extended and to include the Waikato A testing centre is being set up at a marae in the Waikato settlement of Kaiaua today after three community cases of Covid-19 were confirmed in ...23 hours ago - The path to 90% vaccinationIt’s possible we won’t be able to get there, but the country has a target and the promise of doing away with level four lockdowns in the future, Justin Giovannetti writes in The Bulletin.The country’s vaccine programme now has a semi-official target of 90%. The director-general of health says we should ...23 hours ago
- Live updates, September 20: Alert level decision to be announced as Covid confirmed in WaikatoWelcome to The Spinoff’s live updates for September 20, by Stewart Sowman-Lund. Say hello at stewart@thespinoff.co.nz.Today’s agenda 1pm: The latest delta Covid case numbers will be revealed by the Ministry of Health in a press release. We’ll be looking for two crucial things: the number of unlinked cases and whether the ...24 hours ago
- NZX posts big gain, awaits rare IPO
Business & Investing: Index changes boost the NZX, Stride announces only the third IPO of the year, plus all eyes on this week's Fonterra full year result ...1 day ago - Newsroom daily crossword, Monday 20 September1 day ago
- Newsroom daily quiz, Monday 20 September1 day ago
- Meng Foon: In times of crisis we need to look deeply in the mirror The easier it is for us to dehumanise others and see them as anonymous or two-dimensional caricatures, the easier it is for us to turn them into targets of our own unexamined frustrations, writes race relations commissioner Meng Foon.Most of us here in Aotearoa New Zealand, I think, care about ...1 day ago
- If we want to reach 90% vaccination, we need to change up our strategyStuart Nash has staked a case of wine on 90% of New Zealanders being vaccinated by the end of the year. Communications specialist Samson Samasoni explains why the minister won’t be winning this bet any time soon. In July 1988, Andy Mochan was shaken awake by explosions and alarms on an ...1 day ago
- Climate opportunities lost
How New Zealand blew its chance to arrest climate change New Zealand’s now seen three decades of rising emissions. But 30 years ago, we were almost carbon neutral for carbon dioxide. We had a chance to turn it all around, but political mistakes, missed opportunities, and creeping climate scepticism, meant ...1 day ago - Hope for the best, prepare for the burst: Akld readies for alert level drop
Amid uncertainty over widening Delta outbreak, some workers are hesitant about dropping Covid alert levels ...1 day ago - The quiet figure behind New Zealand's APEC success
Vangelis Vitalis on the privilege and responsibility of hosting the major forum. ...1 day ago - The police detective who writes novels
A South Auckland detective on his writing career I spend my days as a Police detective in south Auckland; I don’t feel the need to write about it too. My books are a variety of action thrillers, spy thrillers, post-apocalyptic thrillers…you get the picture. I write a bit of crime, ...1 day ago - Luuka's extreme plan for a fifth Olympics
There's unfinished business for four-time Olympian whitewater paddler Luuka Jones, who wants to learn from her mistakes in Tokyo, aim for Paris 2024, and try out an exhilarating new boat for size. It took Luuka Jones a while to stop kicking herself – her own words - after falling short in her ...1 day ago - On the money: Kate Sheppard and the making of a NZ feminist iconANALYSIS: By Katie Pickles, University of Canterbury In 1992 four New Zealand icons (and the queen) appeared on new banknotes. Part of creating national identity, these notable citizens were chosen to represent the pinnacles of achievement. Āpirana Ngata, Edmund Hillary, Ernest Rutherford and Kate Sheppard — all in circulation so ...1 day ago
- NZ delta’s tail is ‘long and tough’, says PM Jacinda ArdernRNZ News As Auckland waits to hear if it will move down an alert level this week, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern has assured New Zealand the level four lockdown is having an impact, even with a small rise in case numbers in the past two days. Ardern and Director of ...1 day ago
- AUKUS pact strikes at heart of Pacific nuclear-free regionalismBy Johnny Blades, RNZ Pacific reporter Australia’s new security pact with the US and the UK has touched a nerve at the core of Pacific regionalism. The AUKUS alliance, announced by leaders of the three countries last week, finds them seeking strategic advantage in the Indo-Pacific region with a focus ...1 day ago
- New Caledonia extends lockdown – covid death toll now 24RNZ Pacific The New Caledonian government has extended the current lockdown as well as the curfew, until October as the covid-19 pandemic worsens. On Thursday, seven deaths from covid-19 were recorded, the heaviest daily toll since the discovery of the first indigenous cases of the disease on September 6. It ...1 day ago
- Papua’s KNPB accuses Jakarta of using military post attack to criminalise themAsia Pacific Report newsdesk The West Papua National Committee (KNPB) claims that an attack on a military post in Maybrat regency earlier this month is being used as a pretext to “force the KNPB into a corner” and to criminalise them, reports Suara Papua. The September 2 attack on Kisor ...1 day ago
- Covid-19 red alert over PNG ‘super spreader’ independence eventsBy Lulu Mark in Port Moresby Ten people have died from Papua New Guinea’s covid-19 pandemic and 203 new cases were reported in five days from September 9 as National Pandemic Response Deputy Controller Dr Daoni Esorom made a red alert call on Independence Day “super spreader” events. “Papua New ...1 day ago
- Fiji government sacking of chief statistician branded ‘shameful’By Christine Rovoi, RNZ Pacific journalist Questions have been raised about why the head of Fiji’s Bureau of Statistics was fired by the Bainimarama government this week. Kemueli Naiqama recently published this year’s household income and expenditure survey that showed three quarters of Fiji’s poorest people are indigenous Fijians, or ...1 day ago
I might not be able to hammer a nail, but I’ve spent 30 years milking a teat for all it’s worth.
Sorry no caption, just a question: is this a real photo? Head doesn’t fit.
Perhaps a fish-eye lens enlarging Key’s head. It looks distorted in other areas: curves on what look like straight edges etc.
apparently it is real but it screams wrong in all sorts of ways – lighting, scale, neck/spine alignment but then again – he never did prove he wasn’t a reptilian 😉
God I wish there was video of this. Having seen him flouncing around with a hammer, there’s no way he would be capable of milking a cow without making a right fuckwit of himself.
The footage of Key with Sth Korean PM tonight on 3News looks like the source for that inane smug grin .. shaking hands across the table with their PM … pretty sure it’s the source, and a real fun someone did the rest today !
just an udder mudderf.cker
John Key is looking for Mike Sabin. Has anyone seen Mike?
‘Pull the udder one’
oh dear,
(facepalm…. why did i look at this !)
why?
Milking’s okay, but I’m more one for top-quality bullshit.
I’m normally up to my neck with crap.
No wonder he’s smiling – not even ankle deep, and he gets to second base…
These are Not Orivida cows.
Really , no lies 😛
“Her name’s Judith, and boy does she love it when I squeeze her teats.”
“Look at me, look at me! In just six short years, I have tuned Nuslund into a lovely land of milk and bullshit!”
If I get my way this effluent will be going straight into our rivers!
Now lick the s**t off my boots NZ!
” Stand aside Nathan. Photo op”
What an udder disgrace we having been pulling Northlanders tits for over 70 years and now thanks to Peters we are serving up pork to these ungrateful country hicks.
So, the cows have all come home………………..
I’m quite good at this, actually – I’ve been milking the system for years!
I milked the system of money so i wouldnt have to do this for a living
Everytime I visit Paulas i have to do the washing up!
CEO Keys should have worn his glasses as he tries to persuade swing voters in Northland…
Ha! Who said I couldn’t change a lightbulb!
In the auditions for All Creatures Great and Small Deux, Keys fails abysmally on the grounds of never being great creature and not accepting his small penis syndrome….
Generilisimo Keys buries the hatchet with Pete The Ego George with a handshake, no hard feelings…
I knew becoming involved in Dirty Politics would come in handy one day..hurrah!
The cows complained on mass, we have feelings you know,,,,,,
Which of you two human scum let rip?
Its totally disgusting!
What u don’t know, is I cant get ma hand out arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!
National’s ECAN appointees show their commitment to water quality
Farmer: “Hmmm……..should I tell him it’s a bull??”
Keys defies critics who said he was up to his neck in shit, look only up to my feet!
Ha!
Feel My Power!
Keys smirks through adversity as he looks for his lost golf club
One week pictured with pigs, this week cows, whats next week?
Well the worst PM…………………….. your own MP’s
I hope this cow does not shit on me like I have shit on New Zealand
Now cow, now!.
Oooh orivida, orrivida! (Dribble and spittle spilling out the side of his mouth!)
Your turn now numbnuts!
Milk brothers! Milked the country ……
Doxycycline is your friend John.
And the winner of the flag referendum is…hold on,,,,,its up here…….
Ok fellas now I have got my Green Credentials,,,,,shove all this green effluent shit into the harbour,,,they will never know…suckers…
Gawd I love this dictatorship, I mean elected postion
At the top secret GCSB spy school,Furher Keys congratulates his top agent for services in the field….
Now I know how the trickle down theory works.
No seriously, I mean it, this time I am taking the pissssss big time!!!
NZ Herald Breaking Front Page News ” Cow Gives Birth To Semi Human!”
I’m not your buddy, guy.
“We are very hands on, Sherlock! Just looking for 36-25-36 or any 10-80 by chance!”
This amount of slippery shit reminds me of a cabinet meeting.
Key is reincarnated as a dairy farmer
Disgraced currency speculator enjoys minimum wage labour
That’s a cow John! No bull!
I’m milking New Zealand for all it’s worth.
ThePullerKey – “(Cocktail party grimace) – I’m the 5th tit……”
Not of rural/dairying roots……have I got that right ?
Love the hair though……pretty yellow bloom……(falsetto) “I’m ivayyyylible…….”
it was a great joint, eh Nathe, wasn’t tit? .
Muldoon pictured appearing uncharacteristically oleaginous.
What’s the prize for the winner?
“Nah mate, I can’t be bothered with that shit – Jason photo-shopped me over Judith – shape of things to come eh 😉 Yeah, don’t tell the whale for chrissakes…”
A towny twit pulling some terrified tits and smiling smugly about it on Crosby/Textor camera to fool numerous New Zealand numbnuts some more.
John Key pays visit to actual source of own bullshit.
“I was getting low so I thought I pop up and fill up the limo. I owe a lot to these guys. Not that I pay them any more than I legally have to. I operate within the law.”
I’m getting down and dirty with our wealth creators. I’ll stand in the cow poo with the best of them, because I know the old saying ‘Where there’s muck there’s brass’. And because I’m a showman I’ll sing you Tom Lehrer’s Pollution song.
I never thought I’d be fumbling so low with tits like these. (Gives awkward smile.) Still it’s a dirty job and a PM with Crosby Textor managing the show has to do the hard stuff as he’s told.
Awww yeah!
“Just doing a refresher on my number skills ; One, two, three, four, five, six! Wow, six titties!”
And the cow said. Can I crap on crap
Can someone move those piles of shit out of my excrement please.
“In just a few moments I’ll be able to reveal some of the new jobs being created in Northland…”
Cow talk This bloke is getting on my tits big time.