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Caption competition

Written By: - Date published: 4:44 pm, July 31st, 2009 - 75 comments
Categories: cycleway, humour - Tags:

Just when we thought he couldn’t top the comic value of the cycleway…


75 comments on “Caption competition ”

  1. snoozer 1

    oh jesus.

    this is what we get for choosing a guy whose only experience is running a currency operation to run our country. They’re little ideas from a person with no real ideas.

    funny, your version of the image is different from the one on Stuff now. The glowing blue outline is gone. Pity, it’s hilarious.

  2. pussyman 2

    “John Key, well on his way to being the best leader this country has had in quite some time”

    • Bright Red 2.1

      ‘Well on his way to being the best PM we’ve had this year’

      • assman 2.1.1

        ‘well on his way to his knighthood’

        Key is an absolute legend! Long live the new era of economic thinking. Time for people to fend for themselves and John and Bill are going to help our cause along.

    • BLiP 2.2

      Girl Guide leader – you should see his troop – there’s Georgie, Chopper, Basher, We’llmissya, Folly-Acid Kate, Panty Wong, and that’s not even counting the Blonde Mafia – honest mate, it’ll give ya the shits – and if they don’t, wait till ya see his grin – looks like he’s just popped in for flu shot but the nurse has given him quick prostate check while he’s there.

  3. BLiP 3

    Yeah – c’mon mate – you’ve gotta see this Goober to believe it. Un-fucking-believeable! Talk about relaxed – and more relaxed and he’s be flat out like lizard drinkin’. Good ole Enzed’s off to hell in a band basket and he’s off on bloody holiday, again, the bastard.

  4. Brett 4

    I don’t understand the problem. The man’s trying to encourage tourists to come here and spend money and you guys knock him?.
    I think you guys need to get over your irrational hate for the man it’s really clouding your thinking

    • Derek 4.1

      Dude, he looks like bloody peewee herman. What ever happened to the dignity of the position? The guy’s a fuckin’ clown.

      • titman 4.1.1

        With a name like Derek its probable that you are some backwater hick and as such look like a clown permanently, as opposed to Mr Key who was caught off guard in an unfortunate pose in this particular instance.

      • Brett 4.1.2

        Ok so he’s not going to be a super star at the gay bar, but does it really matter as long as he’s doing his job who cares.

        • Derek

          He’s not doing his job. He’s acting like a showpony with stupid gimmicky ideas that don’t work at a time when he should be dealing with the recession.

          You know, that thing that’s putting 2000 Kiwis a week out of jobs.

          But, no, you’re right, he’s just doing his best. Let’s not be too hard on him. He’s only the Prime Minister.

          • Brett

            Look a recession is a bit like getting the flu there’s not really much you can do about it apart from let it ride it’s course.

            • NubbleTrubble

              just look overseas.
              many other countries have taken much more proactive and progressive steps to overcome the worst of the recession.
              of course people will lose their jobs as you say but so far the nats efforts have been insignificant twaddle (cycle way case in point) that has saved very few jobs.
              look how australia is dealing with the recession with investment in local goverment and some green new deal style programs.its an easy google news search away…

              an exerpt from bloomberg article:

              “This time around, Australia joins China and India as the only major economies in the world to grow in the first quarter. Retail sales in May increased twice as much as analysts predicted and a month later the services industry expanded for the first time in more than a year.

              “While every other major advanced economy is in recession, Australia so far is not,’ Rudd told party delegates today. “Australia has the fastest growth, the second lowest unemployment and the lowest debt and deficit of any of the major advanced economies.'”

              key, bill and brash are all neoliberal acolytes and its clear in EVERY sing move they have made so far. have a read of the Green New Deal and honestly tell me that AT LEAST half of those ideas (to a righty like you) make sense and would save jobs.

              im sick of our “relaxed” nice boy mr key and his possum in the head light approach to the recession. resurrecting brash to increase “productivity” is a joke when his policies and ideology are what put us behind Aus in the first place.

              why do people have such a fetish with always comparing us to Aus anyway? its not even like it’s a valid comparison in 2009. this isnt the post WW2 1950s right-wing-nostalgic-dream-world-utopia any more when the world needed our exports of agricultural produce etc.

            • Zaphod Beeblebrox

              If they don’t believe they can do anything about, why bother existing. Even the U.S. is starting to show growth in housing starts, whilst NZ wallows in misery. Meanwhile we have have Billy dismal telling us we all deserve to suffer and mumbles Key telling us how comfortable he is about everything whilst living in the 1950s.

              Where’s the plan?

            • Brett

              Having traded a bit of currency in my time I can tell you there’s three posistions that you can take
              1. long
              2. short
              3. on the sidelines

              Some time waiting for the best opportunity tends to reap the most reward.

        • travellerev

          He wouldn’t hack it in one of those joints with screaming females enjoying male gorgeousness either but you’re right none of that matters if he would do his job but he doesn’t.
          Well, maybe he does but it’s not the job us normal (i.e. not the supe rich) folk need him to do.

          • Brett

            If JK turned up at a bar and started throwing around a few reddies 99% of the chicks there would have a wide on in about .2 of a second flat.
            Money trumps looks any day

            • travellerev

              In the same tasteless and sexist line I could say that a lot of gays would bend over real quick if he swung around his big wad but it’s not the same as being thought of a pretty isn’t it?

              Captcha: ENORMOUS. LOL

      • Clarke 4.1.3

        Dude, he looks like bloody peewee herman.

        That’s very harsh on poor Peewee Herman.

    • BLiP 4.2

      what’s irrational about it?

    • LOL. Fuckin hell mate. BLiP is right.
      He’s a goober. LOL. Hate? LOL.

      Captcha: national. LOL.

  5. poptart 5

    Man, the right have come out screaming on this one.

    Can’t have people pointing out their emperor isn’t wearing any clothes.

  6. Ianmac 6

    Aw shucks! You didn’t really see what we, um I was ummmmmm.

  7. felix 7

    What happened to the halo anyway? Did he think it was making him look like a dork?

    p.s. can someone do something about “ass, tit, leg and pussy” man please? It’s a bit rich isn’t it?

  8. greenfly 8

    No! No! It CAN’T be!

  9. Ianmac 10

    Actually seriously, it is not a very suitable photo of John Key for the purpose, is it?

  10. r0b 11

    “Don’t wait to be told…”

  11. Craig Glen Eden 12

    Brett so are you saying Key is not gay or just that he wouldn’t get picked up at a Gay bar. How do you know Brett?

  12. Maynard J 13

    It rubs the lotion on its skin…

  13. felix 14

    So in all seriousness, is that it for the Minister of Tourism for the rest of the year? Is that his work done? Can he have another holiday now?

  14. Zepher 15

    “It’s all yours for 3 easy payments of 20 million dollars! Call now and get Stewart Island for free!”

    • burt 15.1

      Stewart Island will be very valuable real estate if exploration in the great south basin is successful. Pick some where else like the Chatams to give away and start slowly buying stuff down in Stewart island once you have inside information on the exploration. That would be my pick for MO from a money guy.

  15. outofbed 16

    So i just phoned my mum up in the UK

    “Hi Mum”
    Hello OOB what time is it ?

    Its about 7am your time

    This had better be important
    it is mum John key has come up with this brilliant idea

    john who ?

    John Key he is the Prime minister and minister of tourism ,anyway he says I should invite you to NZ. Come and see the grand kids?

    That is a good idea oob you have been in NZ for 24 yrs how come you never thought of it ?

    Sorry Mum never really occurred to me

    I’ll come, when does he send me the tickets ?

    • burt 16.1


      I’ll come, when does he send me the tickets ?

      Why not pay for people to come to NZ with tax payers money? We used tax payers money to keep “NZ” printed on the side of the planes we can give them free tickets on.

      Great thinking, lets really market NZ as the land of free money for people with time on their hands – that’s gonna deliver hundreds of thousands of immigrants in a global recession. You should be in govt.

  16. torydog 17

    Hes a Clown.LOL

  17. lprent 18

    Come back to nz, and get a radioactive halo like mine

  18. lprent 19

    I sniff uranium

  19. lprent 20

    Get ionized, come to New Zealand

  20. lprent 21

    Come to New Zealand, home of the blue zombies

  21. lprent 22

    I’m glowing a healthy blue with contagious cluelessness

  22. burt 23

    Labour always was better at photoshoping than National.

  23. Armchair Critic 24

    John Key to the world – “Wish you were here”
    Armchair Critic to John Key – “I wish you weren’t here”

  24. lprent 25

    NZ home of a blue batchelor

  25. Bill 26

    Ooh arr. Oi be head yokel in these parts now and we be having fun bikey fandangles with those wheelie things just for you, we do.

  26. Daveski 27

    Latest release from the Johnkees featuring:

    Last Train to Clarksville
    I’m A Believer (in Neo Lib Economics)

    And many more!

  27. Anthony Karinski 28

    I’m no fan of Key as PM but I reckon this is rather poor form from Stuff. If they put it in the political satire section it would be ok, but mocking the guy with a cheesy photo on the front page is not right. As every other member of our society he deserves to be treated with dignity and his arguments met with better ones (which most of the time shouldn’t be too hard.) Just imagine the justifiable outrage most labourites would muster if Helen Clark’s toothy grin was put to the same pathetic use over say, the foreshore and sea bed bill.

    • IrishBill 28.1

      I think they’re not actually taking the piss. But it’s getting harder to tell every day, I thought “great rides” was satire when I first read about it.

  28. Wish you were here
    wish you could see this place
    Wish you were here
    Wish i could touch your face
    The weather’s nice
    in paradise
    it’s summer time all year
    There’s some folks we know
    They say hello
    I miss you so
    wish you were here.

  29. Irishbill:

    If the Green party came up with the idea of the cycleway, or a tourist idea like this, you will be clapping and cheering and saying what a great idea it is.

    • felix 30.1


      Most Greens reckon the cycleway is a pretty good idea. I do. What pisses us off is that Key is out there pretending it’s gonna fix the economy and create jobs.

      It won’t.

      That doesn’t mean it’s a bad idea.

      It means Key should be doing his fucking job and fixing the economy, not pissing around with “nice-to-have” projects like the cycleway and posing for gormless photos that aren’t going to attract one single person to NZ.

      He’s the PM for ffs Brett – he’s got more important shit to do and we’d like to see him get off his arse and do it – he can leave the cycleways to a junior minister and leave the goofy ad campaigns to some gimp off the telly.

      He’s starting to look like a lazy no-good sack of shite to me Brett. I reckon he thinks that photo shoot is his year’s work as Minister of Tourism.

      He’ll probably be ready for another holiday too, after all that hard yakka.

      Fucking wimp.

      • Zaphod Beeblebrox 30.1.1

        Why bother coming up with economic and social policy when you can get away with crapping on about car crushing, cycleways, knighthoods, gang patches and picking on single mothers and public servants? Much more likely to get your picture in the paper!

    • Anthony Karinski 30.2

      I think the cycleway is an OK idea. But not for the reasons stated. Key says it is meant to combat unemployment, but has no idea how many jobs it will create nor whether the money could be better spent better elsewhere if the point is to keep people employed.

      Greens are policy and numbers wonks. If their stated objective for the cycle way was to keep people employed during the recession you can be damn sure they would have done their homework – just like the green new deal document.

    • QoT 30.3

      I think, Brett, you may be missing the clear distinction between “the basic concept of a cycleway” and John Key’s “fantastical cycleway, the cost of which I worked out using a magic eightball, which will provide JOBS FOR ALL!!!! and totally dig us out of this recession single-handedly!!!!!”

  30. Come to NewZealand, go on welfare, get over 700 bucks a week, bitch about it to the media, and then have a bunch of socialist who blame Israel for everything, organize a protest for you.

  31. Craig:


    Opps your comment was directed at another poster.

  32. Rex Widerstrom 33

    “Bill said we couldn’t afford seats for the bikes yet, but as you can se it hasn’t stopped me having a great time!”

  33. The Voice of Reason 34

    I can see Shania Twain from my house!

  34. ak 35

    “That’s our beautiful Jobs summit in the distance and oh – there’s the lovely Tari eating bread off the bushes – and we have a World Cup circus coming next week, and will you just look at those clouds, Bill! (what chin job?)”

  35. RedLogix 36

    That’s right folks! It’s all downhill from here.

  36. roger nome 37

    “goofinomics anyone”?

  37. Deciduous 38

    Oh do grow up you people. Theres a global recession on and Labour are still dredging up party faithful as kamikazee media offerings. Puhr-leese.

  38. DZA 39

    Jedi mind trick epic fails number 432

    “You will pick up your phones, you will call your overseas friends and relatives, you will invite them to your homes, you will save your country’s economy”

    John Key-nobi

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    The Government has introduced the Severe Weather Emergency Recovery Legislation Bill to further support the recovery and rebuild from the recent severe weather events in the North Island. “We know from our experiences following the Canterbury and Kaikōura earthquakes that it will take some time before we completely understand the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago

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