Caption competition

Written By: - Date published: 4:27 pm, March 26th, 2015 - 79 comments
Categories: caption contest, uncategorized - Tags:

Courtesy of Claire Trevett:

key-kumara

79 comments on “Caption competition ”

  1. feijoa 1

    Mr Potato head

  2. mickysavage 2

    I think his candidate is going to suck the kumara (stolen off twitter) …

  3. logie97 3

    “Meet my relation, the Kumara.”

  4. repateet 4

    All the way back from Korea to suck a kumara!

  5. Ad 5

    “Ah, Spawn of Satan, you have done well my child.”

  6. Jesus Wept 6

    Rooted vegetable meets sweet potato.

  7. It might look like a kumara, smell like a kumara, and taste like a kumara but I tell you it is NOT a kumara, it is an anti-American lie perpetrated by the loony left.

    • Anne 7.1

      Everyone thinks it’s a kumara but it’s not. It’s got a small screen and I can type in somebody’s name and watch what they’re doing. I used to watch Dotcom. The NSA gave it to me.

  8. Clemgeopin 8

    Osburn’s Kumara smells so good!

  9. McFlock 9

    Soon-to-be lame duck hams it up with a kumara.

    Meanwhile, the nats’ last best hope for political relevance attempts a photo-op, but misses by a mere 100 degrees.

    Minimum wage worker forced to give up tea break while candidate yammers on…

  10. r0b 10

    If you stare into the kumara, the kumara will stare back into you.

  11. Clemgeopin 11

    Key kisses kumara symbolising National’s butt kissing culture.

  12. Ad 12

    Finally, a National voter in Northland!

  13. joe90 13

    Nats suck the kumera in Northland.

  14. Ad 14

    Well Mr Osborne, you are about to become what is known in the north as lunch.

  15. Draco T Bastard 15

    Away with the fairies

  16. rawshark-yeshe 16

    wonder if I will be able to get these in Hawaii ??

    • Murray Rawshark 16.1

      Yes he will. Kumara is an important part of the Hawaiian diet. FJK wouldn’t be kissing it if he thought it was indigenous.

  17. fender 17

    Stoned PM mistakes kumera for an ice-cream.

    Winston drives PM to substance abuse.

    Team Key suck the kumera in Northland.

    Key pulls out his butt plug in an attempt to prove it don’t stink.

  18. Formerlyonthefb 18

    I wonder if they’ll notice me sucking this kumera like my american lover? I miss you OBAMA and our man on fudgewit love!

  19. One Anonymous Bloke 19

    PM denies eating unborn voters.

  20. ianmac 20

    Well my fans have deserted me but this kumera is cuddly.

  21. Skinny 21

    Calling Mike Sabin please get off the stage… you suck the kumera in Northland. Yeah fuck you too Winston and your Bill.

  22. key:.’look ossy..!.’it looks a lot like stephen joyce..!’..

  23. b waghorn 23

    We probably had more chance of winning if you were our candidate little kumara.

  24. osborne checks out his electoral-coffin:

    ‘will it be big enough..?’

  25. key – off his tits – thinks it’s a microphone..

  26. key does a very bad version of ‘stand by me’..

  27. key picks out a sex-toy to take back to his hotel…

  28. Nckfan 28

    Maybe we should have nominated you as our candidate.

  29. redfred 29

    Suck this NZ Ive been fucking you proper

  30. Stuart Munro 30

    Why couldn’t ‘Obspawn be more like you?

    If the voters found him tasty
    if he wasn’t quite so pasty
    if he improved with roasting he’d be choice!
    and he wouldn’t strain the wrist of poor old Joyce…

  31. Macro 31

    Well that’s one photo op that has completely backfired! lol
    I wonder if Key will go to kiss kumeras ever again?

    Key mistakes kumera for baby.

  32. kumera bong proves popular with dope

  33. Thinkerr 33

    Thanks, folks.

    I’ve had a couple of requests, but I’m not going to leave right now, I’m going to stay and do one more song…

    “Regrets, I’ve had a few…”

  34. Stuart Munro 34

    We don’t have anything like these back on Sirius…

  35. Clemgeopin 35

    “Ha, ha! No, I can’t tell you more about my lovely kumara because we have managed to get a super duper suppression order. It shall remain a secret!”

  36. Tel 36

    One of these lies in sods and the other lies for sods.

  37. Jiminy Cricket 37

    Woman with pink hair shows Mr Osborn where he’ll start work on Monday.

    • McFlock 37.1

      holy shit, that’s right – I think it’s been reported that he quit his council job.

      Most people I know who became candidates and it would have been a conflict took a leave of absence for a few months, they weren’t so assured of victory that they quit. Ok, a couple were no-chancers, but some had a realistic shot. And Osbourne might have been so convinced of his entitlement that he actually quit.

  38. Clemgeopin 38

    I have always longed for a kumara like this.

  39. Jiminy Cricket 39

    Reptilian shapeshifter accidentally lets tongue slip out

  40. Jiminy Cricket 40

    Kumara derangement syndrome

  41. Clemgeopin 41

    How many kumaras does it take to win Northland?

  42. Paul Campbell 42

    It wont turn MY hair red, I dye it black

  43. Paul Campbell 43

    Which end do you talk into?

  44. gsays 44

    “i know its a tuber, where do you blow?”

  45. Hayden 45

    Mark? Mark? Speak to me Mark!

  46. philj 46

    ” I close my eyes and dream of mmm …. me, and Money!”

  47. philj 47

    PM prefers kumara fantasy to meeting human beings

  48. Clemgeopin 48

    You seem smarter than THAT fellow!

  49. Sable 49

    I love anything that comes from America.

  50. Steve Cain 50

    It’s the mystic kumara-head groove thing

  51. Clemgeopin 51

    “Pussy for sale! Pussy for sale! Pussy for sale!!”

    “Where, where where?”

    “Nah, just kidding! Kumara awkshully!”

  52. BLiP 52

    John Key ponders whether a kumara might not have been a better candidate.

    ( What is it with John Key and sniffing veggies —> https://youtu.be/vTE7EEixKvE )

  53. Chrys Berryman 53

    “ahhhhh the humble kumara,a gift from those nice brown people we peacefully colonised all those years ago”

  54. sirpat 54

    JEZUS!!!……no wonder it hurt when I walked

  55. Clemgeopin 55

    I’ll smell your kumara, you smell mine!

  56. Treetop 56

    Key’s face will probably be redder than the kumara on Sunday.

    Osborne will be in the bin with the kumaras.

  57. georgecom 57

    John Key meets Nationals next candidate for the Northland seat

  58. Felate Sheo 58

    Looks like he’s experienced in the act he is about to perform on the kumera.
    {Guess he got good at it during soliciting the TPPA.}

  59. Ecosse_Maidy 59

    CEO Keys personally welcomed each and every member to his handpicked cabinet

  60. Ecosse_Maidy 60

    As a gesture of fair play, the Australian Cricket authorities allowed Keys to check through all the Cricket Balls that had been allocated to the Black Caps…..Keys could see nothing wrong and passed them all fit to use.

  61. Ecosse_Maidy 61

    John Key croons into the microphone …………..it’s all over now baby blue!!!!!!

  62. Ecosse_Maidy 62

    Yes!!!!! thought Genrillisomo Key,,,,,this one would be perfect to add to Paula’s collection of toys, he was pretty sure she dint have this model….

  63. Ecosse_Maidy 63

    Women at back…Don’t worry about it,,,,,we both grab him and stick him in this container till after the election and you should stand a better chance with the electorate.

  64. Ecosse_Maidy 64

    Clown In Chief , announces that with these new improved building materials we shall build Christchurch back to its former glory.

    You wait and see!

  65. Ecosse_Maidy 65

    Be honest with me… Does this Hi Viz jacket make my bottom look big?

    You can be totally candid with me!??

  66. fender 66

    Ol look, I’ve just pulled this outa my arse, it’s called a….Fisiani…

  67. greywarshark 67

    Is this a carrot? I don’t know about real vegetables, just the ones that we grow to become fodder for our great National machine.

  68. greywarshark 68

    This is a kumara? It looks more like a carrot and I’ve hated them since Mum made me eat them as a kid. She said they would help me see better or make me more intelligent or something. I’ve avoided them for years. Yuk.

  69. greywarshark 69

    This reminds me of something but I mustn’t smile. It’s meant to be a solemn moment while I look all interested in home-grown produce. But I wish I was dishing out kumara in Hawaii. Mmmm.

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • PM announces changes to portfolios
    Paul Goldsmith will take on responsibility for the Media and Communications portfolio, while Louise Upston will pick up the Disability Issues portfolio, Prime Minister Christopher Luxon announced today. “Our Government is relentlessly focused on getting New Zealand back on track. As issues change in prominence, I plan to adjust Ministerial ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    16 hours ago
  • New catch limits for unique fishery areas
    Recreational catch limits will be reduced in areas of Fiordland and the Chatham Islands to help keep those fisheries healthy and sustainable, Oceans and Fisheries Minister Shane Jones says. The lower recreational daily catch limits for a range of finfish and shellfish species caught in the Fiordland Marine Area and ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    19 hours ago
  • Minister welcomes hydrogen milestone
    Energy Minister Simeon Brown has welcomed an important milestone in New Zealand’s hydrogen future, with the opening of the country’s first network of hydrogen refuelling stations in Wiri. “I want to congratulate the team at Hiringa Energy and its partners K one W one (K1W1), Mitsui & Co New Zealand ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Urgent changes to system through first RMA Amendment Bill
    The coalition Government is delivering on its commitment to improve resource management laws and give greater certainty to consent applicants, with a Bill to amend the Resource Management Act (RMA) expected to be introduced to Parliament next month. RMA Reform Minister Chris Bishop has today outlined the first RMA Amendment ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Overseas decommissioning models considered
    Overseas models for regulating the oil and gas sector, including their decommissioning regimes, are being carefully scrutinised as a potential template for New Zealand’s own sector, Resources Minister Shane Jones says. The Coalition Government is focused on rebuilding investor confidence in New Zealand’s energy sector as it looks to strengthen ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Release of North Island Severe Weather Event Inquiry
    Emergency Management and Recovery Minister Mark Mitchell has today released the Report of the Government Inquiry into the response to the North Island Severe Weather Events. “The report shows that New Zealand’s emergency management system is not fit-for-purpose and there are some significant gaps we need to address,” Mr Mitchell ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Justice Minister to attend Human Rights Council
    Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith is today travelling to Europe where he’ll update the United Nations Human Rights Council on the Government’s work to restore law and order.  “Attending the Universal Periodic Review in Geneva provides us with an opportunity to present New Zealand’s human rights progress, priorities, and challenges, while ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Patterson reopens world’s largest wool scouring facility
    Associate Agriculture Minister, Mark Patterson, formally reopened the world’s largest wool processing facility today in Awatoto, Napier, following a $50 million rebuild and refurbishment project. “The reopening of this facility will significantly lift the economic opportunities available to New Zealand’s wool sector, which already accounts for 20 per cent of ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Speech to the Southland Otago Regional Engineering Collective Summit, 18 April 2024
    Hon Andrew Bayly, Minister for Small Business and Manufacturing  At the Southland Otago Regional Engineering Collective (SOREC) Summit, 18 April, Dunedin    Ngā mihi nui, Ko Andrew Bayly aho, Ko Whanganui aho    Good Afternoon and thank you for inviting me to open your summit today.    I am delighted ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Government to introduce revised Three Strikes law
    The Government is delivering on its commitment to bring back the Three Strikes legislation, Associate Justice Minister Nicole McKee announced today. “Our Government is committed to restoring law and order and enforcing appropriate consequences on criminals. We are making it clear that repeat serious violent or sexual offending is not ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • New diplomatic appointments
    Foreign Minister Winston Peters has today announced four new diplomatic appointments for New Zealand’s overseas missions.   “Our diplomats have a vital role in maintaining and protecting New Zealand’s interests around the world,” Mr Peters says.    “I am pleased to announce the appointment of these senior diplomats from the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Humanitarian support for Ethiopia and Somalia
    New Zealand is contributing NZ$7 million to support communities affected by severe food insecurity and other urgent humanitarian needs in Ethiopia and Somalia, Foreign Minister Rt Hon Winston Peters announced today.   “Over 21 million people are in need of humanitarian assistance across Ethiopia, with a further 6.9 million people ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Arts Minister congratulates Mataaho Collective
    Minister for Arts, Culture and Heritage Paul Goldsmith is congratulating Mataaho Collective for winning the Golden Lion for best participant in the main exhibition at the Venice Biennale. "Congratulations to the Mataaho Collective for winning one of the world's most prestigious art prizes at the Venice Biennale.  “It is good ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Supporting better financial outcomes for Kiwis
    The Government is reforming financial services to improve access to home loans and other lending, and strengthen customer protections, Commerce and Consumer Affairs Minister Andrew Bayly and Housing Minister Chris Bishop announced today. “Our coalition Government is committed to rebuilding the economy and making life simpler by cutting red tape. We are ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Trade relationship with China remains strong
    “China remains a strong commercial opportunity for Kiwi exporters as Chinese businesses and consumers continue to value our high-quality safe produce,” Trade and Agriculture Minister Todd McClay says.   Mr McClay has returned to New Zealand following visits to Beijing, Harbin and Shanghai where he met ministers, governors and mayors and engaged in trade and agricultural events with the New ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • PM’s South East Asia mission does the business
    Prime Minister Christopher Luxon has completed a successful trip to Singapore, Thailand and the Philippines, deepening relationships and capitalising on opportunities. Mr Luxon was accompanied by a business delegation and says the choice of countries represents the priority the New Zealand Government places on South East Asia, and our relationships in ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • $41m to support clean energy in South East Asia
    New Zealand is demonstrating its commitment to reducing global greenhouse emissions, and supporting clean energy transition in South East Asia, through a contribution of NZ$41 million (US$25 million) in climate finance to the Asian Development Bank (ADB)-led Energy Transition Mechanism (ETM). Prime Minister Christopher Luxon and Climate Change Minister Simon Watts announced ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Minister releases Fast-track stakeholder list
    The Government is today releasing a list of organisations who received letters about the Fast-track applications process, says RMA Reform Minister Chris Bishop. “Recently Ministers and agencies have received a series of OIA requests for a list of organisations to whom I wrote with information on applying to have a ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Judicial appointments announced
    Attorney-General Judith Collins today announced the appointment of Wellington Barrister David Jonathan Boldt as a Judge of the High Court, and the Honourable Justice Matthew Palmer as a Judge of the Court of Appeal. Justice Boldt graduated with an LLB from Victoria University of Wellington in 1990, and also holds ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Education Minister heads to major teaching summit in Singapore
    Education Minister Erica Stanford will lead the New Zealand delegation at the 2024 International Summit on the Teaching Profession (ISTP) held in Singapore. The delegation includes representatives from the Post Primary Teachers’ Association (PPTA) Te Wehengarua and the New Zealand Educational Institute (NZEI) Te Riu Roa.  The summit is co-hosted ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Value of stopbank project proven during cyclone
    A stopbank upgrade project in Tairawhiti partly funded by the Government has increased flood resilience for around 7000ha of residential and horticultural land so far, Regional Development Minister Shane Jones says. Mr Jones today attended a dawn service in Gisborne to mark the end of the first stage of the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Anzac commemorations, Türkiye relationship focus of visit
    Foreign Affairs Minister Winston Peters will represent the Government at Anzac Day commemorations on the Gallipoli Peninsula next week and engage with senior representatives of the Turkish government in Istanbul.    “The Gallipoli campaign is a defining event in our history. It will be a privilege to share the occasion ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Minister to Europe for OECD meeting, Anzac Day
    Science, Innovation and Technology and Defence Minister Judith Collins will next week attend the OECD Science and Technology Ministerial conference in Paris and Anzac Day commemorations in Belgium. “Science, innovation and technology have a major role to play in rebuilding our economy and achieving better health, environmental and social outcomes ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Comprehensive Partnership the goal for NZ and the Philippines
    Prime Minister Christopher Luxon held a bilateral meeting today with the President of the Philippines, Ferdinand Marcos Jr.  The Prime Minister was accompanied by MP Paulo Garcia, the first Filipino to be elected to a legislature outside the Philippines. During today’s meeting, Prime Minister Luxon and President Marcos Jr discussed opportunities to ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Government commits $20m to Westport flood protection
    The Government has announced that $20 million in funding will be made available to Westport to fund much needed flood protection around the town. This measure will significantly improve the resilience of the community, says Local Government Minister Simeon Brown. “The Westport community has already been allocated almost $3 million ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Taupō takes pole position
    The Government is proud to support the first ever Repco Supercars Championship event in Taupō as up to 70,000 motorsport fans attend the Taupō International Motorsport Park this weekend, says Economic Development Minister Melissa Lee. “Anticipation for the ITM Taupō Super400 is huge, with tickets and accommodation selling out weeks ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • Cost of living support for low-income homeowners
    Local Government Minister Simeon Brown has announced an increase to the Rates Rebate Scheme, putting money back into the pockets of low-income homeowners.  “The coalition Government is committed to bringing down the cost of living for New Zealanders. That includes targeted support for those Kiwis who are doing things tough, such ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • Government backing mussel spat project
    The Coalition Government is investing in a project to boost survival rates of New Zealand mussels and grow the industry, Oceans and Fisheries Minister Shane Jones has announced. “This project seeks to increase the resilience of our mussels and significantly boost the sector’s productivity,” Mr Jones says. “The project - ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • Government focused on getting people into work
    Benefit figures released today underscore the importance of the Government’s plan to rebuild the economy and have 50,000 fewer people on Jobseeker Support, Social Development and Employment Minister Louise Upston says. “Benefit numbers are still significantly higher than when National was last in government, when there was about 70,000 fewer ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • Clean energy key driver to reducing emissions
    The Government’s commitment to doubling New Zealand’s renewable energy capacity is backed by new data showing that clean energy has helped the country reach its lowest annual gross emissions since 1999, Climate Change Minister Simon Watts says. New Zealand’s latest Greenhouse Gas Inventory (1990-2022) published today, shows gross emissions fell ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • Earthquake-prone buildings review brought forward
    The Government is bringing the earthquake-prone building review forward, with work to start immediately, and extending the deadline for remediations by four years, Building and Construction Minister Chris Penk says. “Our Government is focused on rebuilding the economy. A key part of our plan is to cut red tape that ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • Thailand and NZ to agree to Strategic Partnership
    Prime Minister Christopher Luxon and his Thai counterpart, Prime Minister Srettha Thavisin, have today agreed that New Zealand and the Kingdom of Thailand will upgrade the bilateral relationship to a Strategic Partnership by 2026. “New Zealand and Thailand have a lot to offer each other. We have a strong mutual desire to build ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Government consults on extending coastal permits for ports
    RMA Reform Minister Chris Bishop and Transport Minister Simeon Brown have today announced the Coalition Government’s intention to extend port coastal permits for a further 20 years, providing port operators with certainty to continue their operations. “The introduction of the Resource Management Act in 1991 required ports to obtain coastal ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Inflation coming down, but more work to do
    Today’s announcement that inflation is down to 4 per cent is encouraging news for Kiwis, but there is more work to be done - underlining the importance of the Government’s plan to get the economy back on track, acting Finance Minister Chris Bishop says. “Inflation is now at 4 per ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • School attendance restored as a priority in health advice
    Refreshed health guidance released today will help parents and schools make informed decisions about whether their child needs to be in school, addressing one of the key issues affecting school attendance, says Associate Education Minister David Seymour. In recent years, consistently across all school terms, short-term illness or medical reasons ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Unnecessary bureaucracy cut in oceans sector
    Oceans and Fisheries Minister Shane Jones is streamlining high-level oceans management while maintaining a focus on supporting the sector’s role in the export-led recovery of the economy. “I am working to realise the untapped potential of our fishing and aquaculture sector. To achieve that we need to be smarter with ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Patterson promoting NZ’s wool sector at International Congress
    Associate Agriculture Minister Mark Patterson is speaking at the International Wool Textile Organisation Congress in Adelaide, promoting New Zealand wool, and outlining the coalition Government’s support for the revitalisation the sector.    "New Zealand’s wool exports reached $400 million in the year to 30 June 2023, and the coalition Government ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Removing red tape to help early learners thrive
    The Government is making legislative changes to make it easier for new early learning services to be established, and for existing services to operate, Associate Education Minister David Seymour says. The changes involve repealing the network approval provisions that apply when someone wants to establish a new early learning service, ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • RMA changes to cut coal mining consent red tape
    Changes to the Resource Management Act will align consenting for coal mining to other forms of mining to reduce barriers that are holding back economic development, Resources Minister Shane Jones says. “The inconsistent treatment of coal mining compared with other extractive activities is burdensome red tape that fails to acknowledge ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • McClay reaffirms strong NZ-China trade relationship
    Trade, Agriculture and Forestry Minister Todd McClay has concluded productive discussions with ministerial counterparts in Beijing today, in support of the New Zealand-China trade and economic relationship. “My meeting with Commerce Minister Wang Wentao reaffirmed the complementary nature of the bilateral trade relationship, with our Free Trade Agreement at its ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago

Page generated in The Standard by Wordpress at 2024-04-24T16:22:56+00:00