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Caption Competition

Written By: - Date published: 11:56 am, April 11th, 2016 - 72 comments
Categories: uncategorized - Tags:

Keep it seemly . . .

 

John Key and David Cameron 2

72 comments on “Caption Competition”

  1. ianmac 1

    “My Public believe me.”
    “My Public me whatever I do.”
    “Well Lynton said I can do anything and say anything and they still believe me, even when I outright lie”
    “Me too.”

  2. The Gormless Fool formerly known as Oleolebiscuitbarrell 2

    Do you smell pork?

  3. Macro 3

    And then I told them we would have a “fool” make an “independent” Inquiry ! snigger snigger.

  4. adam 4

    Who cares what two white Tory scum are doing,

    really, who cares?

    • BLiP 4.1

      Well, they are the leaders of their respective nations both exposed as participants in massive international tax avoidance. But, really, with this particular little exercise, turning them into objects of mockery is the main interest.

    • The Gormless Fool formerly known as Oleolebiscuitbarrell 4.2

      So much anger, adam. You should address that or it will eat you.

      • adam 4.2.1

        hahahahahahahahhahahah. Did you read the header The Gormless Fool formerly known as Oleolebiscuitbarrell, have you not seen these before?

        Seriously serious much.

    • b waghorn 4.3

      Just out of interest if it where a photo of Mugabe and Zuma would you call them black scum?

      • adam 4.3.1

        Political Correctness gone mad b waghorn? Or just feeling sensitive today?

        • b waghorn 4.3.1.1

          You didnt offend me i assure you ,it just amuses me how further lefties in nz have this white man hate, when there is plenty of proof that the colour of skin isn’t linked to ones scum level.

  5. saveNZ 5

    My trust is bigger than your trust and more well hidden.

  6. joe90 6

    It’s your turn so you eat the soggy biscuit.

    Oh no you don’t, you were the last to release your tax returns so you eat it!.

  7. Gruntie 7

    JK – I’ve always looked up to you Dave

  8. left for dead 8

    Pigs head you say, I can only a kiwi. Oh an Maltese

    edit: you know, those cute little…..those cameras are ackshelly werking,,, chocolate balls lovely.

  9. Smilin 9

    JK to DC
    Hahaha you got caught Im still in the clear. Better start moving out Dave ,I could take your place for a while .Ive already run a small country to the ground a big ones more of a challenge

  10. fender 10

    Looks like tax dodging trust fund trouble is about to come knocking

  11. Mrs Brillo 11

    “…and then you say ‘Open Sesame’ and you get to share out the loot with your Forty Thieves…”

  12. saveNZ 12

    $17,000, what a paltry amount. Lucky I own a small country and the SIS and have so many friends in the US intelligence to make sure my money is safely hidden.

  13. Phaedrus 13

    I hid my money in Panama, John. Where did you hide yours?

  14. The Real Matthew 14

    “I couldn’t believe my luck when Corbyn was elected leader”

    “Really, you should try going up against this Little bloke. I can’t lose!”

  15. logie97 15

    “The funny thing is Dave, that while your defence is that you cannot be blamed for the sins of your father and your supporters are shouting it, back home the Socialists are having such a problem with the Lange period. You see we can sheet almost everything back to them as it is all their fault. And the public are swallowing it…”

  16. Stuart Munro 16

    I see a black door and I want to paint it red,
    No colors anymore, I want them to turn red.
    I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes.
    You’ve got a trust fund well we’ve all got one of those.
    Haven’t we John.

  17. Anno1701 17

    From the people who bought you “Pony Tail Summer Camp” & “The boys from Bullingdon ”

    Starring “Call me Dave” Cameron and Big John ” Shon” Key in this summers financial scandal/nothing to see here hit ….

    ” Makin Bacon”

  18. Anne 18

    Tweedledum and Tweedledee.

  19. fender 19

    No,no Dave, it wasn’t me trying to remove the Union Jack, it was LLaybar akshuly..,(he then makes that sucking in air sound like he’s toking on a joint)

  20. maui 20

    The door knocking scene from Labyrinth now has new meaning.

    “What do you think Ludo, which do we choose out of these two ugly characters?”

  21. Irascible 21

    J: Trust? Moi? Never…. at least not that I can remember. Anyway if the crap hits the fan I always scuttle off to Planet Key and leave my cronies to mop up my messes.
    D: I tried that and the peasants got up a petition to ban my return… revolting oiks.

  22. Foreign waka 22

    3 knocks and you are in, no strings and tax. You want to go first John?

  23. Gangnam Style 23

    Left Door Knocker: It’s very rude to stare!
    Sarah: Oh! I’m sorry, I was just wondering which door to choose.
    Left Door Knocker: HUH?
    Right Door Knocker: [muffled] It’s no good asking him, he’s deaf as a post!
    Left Door Knocker: Don’t talk with your mouth full!
    Right Door Knocker: [muffled] I’m not talking with my mouth full, I…
    Sarah: Wait, wait, I can’t understand you.
    [she takes the ring out of his mouth]
    Right Door Knocker: Ah! Mm. Oh, oh, it is so good to get that thing out.
    Sarah: What were you saying?
    Right Door Knocker: I said, it’s no good talking to him, he’s deaf as a post.
    Left Door Knocker: Mumble mumble mumble! You’re a wonderful conversational companion!
    Right Door Knocker: You can talk, all you do is moan!
    Left Door Knocker: No good! Can’t hear you!
    Sarah: What’s behind these doors?
    Left Door Knocker: WHAT?
    Right Door Knocker: Search me. We’re just the knockers!
    [laughs]
    Sarah: Oh.
    [she goes to the left door, pushes on it]
    Sarah: How do I get through?
    Left Door Knocker: HUH?
    Right Door Knocker: Knock, and the door will open!
    Sarah: Oh.
    Ludo: [with the ring in his mouth] Hmmph?
    Sarah: [amused] Ludo!
    [she takes the ring from Ludo, holds it out to the Right Door Knocker]
    Right Door Knocker: Hey! I don’t want that thing back in my mouth!
    Sarah: C’mon, I want to knock!
    Right Door Knocker: MM-MM!

  24. Tony Veitch (not the partner-bashing 3rd rate broadcaster) 24

    “The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which.”

    Final words of Animal Farm – George Orwell.

  25. mac1 25

    “Panamanian fun seekers, John? Don’t know what you mean.”

  26. Incognito 26

    Two Heads of State and one brain scan revealing a huge moral cavity.

  27. Dale 27

    Still crushing the opposition in the polls? You bet Dave.

  28. Whateva next? 28

    We even look alike, I can’t believe how clever Crosby Textor are!

  29. Colonial Viper 29

    Is that a piggy in the middle?

  30. ropata 30

    JK: “Haha I just sold off NZ’s power companies & state housing, raised GST, signed the TPPA, and turned NZ into a tax haven for international tax crime!”

    DC: “Thanks for that, Daddy has already set me up with a nice tax free trust. And I’m selling the NHS, cutting disability benefits, and buying lovely Trident missiles with the proceeds!”

    JK: “OK you win this round, but I will be back!”

  31. swordfish 31

    Cameron to Key:
    No, no, you won’t be coming in to my Exclusive Club, you wait out here you oily little tick ! When I was at Eton we used to line up four or five of your sort, make em bend over and use em as a rack for toasting crumpets, you Grotty little working class man !!!

  32. Ad 32

    “You’re right it’s just fantastic, there’s no need to hide our money anymore; we can really show it.”

  33. Chromophore 33

    JK: “Dave, I read that someone called you and I slim eballs – what’s a slim eball?

    DC: “Is that so Mr ‘Soap-on-the-shower-floor-Key? Well close the gap and you’ll find out”

    JK: “aye? Ha, ha, I don’t think so Dave, I’m a soap-on-a-rope kinda guy, sorry.”

    DC: “I didn’t think you’d get it”

  34. mac1 34

    “Actually, John, this photo will express to voters my understanding of Jean-Paul Sartre’s 1944 play “Huis Clos” and how I will apply it into any future investigations into tax evasion.”
    “Was he the bloke who said “Seek and you find? Knock and the door shall be opened to you?” That didn’t apply to tax collectors, did it?”

  35. Shane Walker 35

    OK John, I will Knock 3 times and then we run ok? and try to keep up this time!

  36. Ecosse_Maidy 36

    DC to JK “Who the **** are you?”

  37. Ecosse_Maidy 37

    The Lion, The Two Witches, No wardrobe

  38. Ecosse_Maidy 38

    DC: Man i am in deep got caught out on tax havens

    JK: Don’t fret I get away with it all the time, just set up a flag referendum, they will never know

  39. Ecosse_Maidy 39

    Two New Inexperienced Bouncers, employed at The Lynton Crosby Ball

  40. Ecosse_Maidy 40

    Oh I see you use the same tailor as I do John,
    Yes David,,I always get the deep pockets added to my suits.
    Really….why is that John?
    Well it comes in handy when there’s a pissing competition…

  41. Ecosse_Maidy 41

    I fecking tried open sesame,,,now wheres the fecking key…u what? u lost it?

  42. Ecosse_Maidy 42

    DC: I see your still persisting withe comb over….by the way, i think u may need some head and shoulders.

  43. Ecosse_Maidy 43

    Profile shots of the beloved leaders taken for the new mint of one pound coins….selling for tuppence

  44. Ecosse_Maidy 44

    DC: Sorry JK, you cant buy it, i just sold this door offshore for a handsome non taxable profit,,,,yet mums the world ok?

  45. Ecosse_Maidy 45

    JK: Bloody Hell, you actually provide free food banks in your country?
    ….Isnt that a tad generous?

  46. Ecosse_Maidy 46

    DC: I have had to invite you outside to demand satisfaction……..
    That’s was my wife, how dare you pull her ponytail!

  47. Ecosse_Maidy 47

    Their eyes meet across the front door step………………………………..it was instantaneous.

    Of all the front door steps…… in all the world you found mine.
    .

  48. Ecosse_Maidy 48

    DC: Right when you go inside, don’t mention anything about President Trumps lovely hair…

    JK: No Probs

  49. Ecosse_Maidy 49

    DC: I have no idea, usually one of my servants do it….

    JK: I haven’t a clue either, one of my bodyguards opens the doors for me

  50. Ecosse_Maidy 50

    And its good night from him and its good night from him.

  51. Ecosse_Maidy 51

    dc and jk arrive at Hells gate…Perfect timing!!!
    Two for the price of one.

  52. Ecosse_Maidy 52

    knock knock knocking on uber tax havens door.

  53. Ecosse_Maidy 53

    DC: If you rub this Caymen island snake oil into your scalp you will have a full head of hair by the morning!…..that will be 1000 $ Us please, paid into my not very secret account….

    JK: Done!

  54. Ecosse_Maidy 54

    JK: Last time i visited you had two knockers, i am sure of it..

    DC: Austerity cuts into everything, so we out sourced the other knocker
    JK: You should see the knockers i have back home in Wellington!

  55. Ecosse_Maidy 55

    DC & JK both wait to enter room 101, to face their greatest fear……their tax returns

  56. Ecosse_Maidy 56

    It’s the room where Winston was interrogated………………..mind the rats!

  57. Ecosse_Maidy 57

    JK: Well I dint invite him!
    DC: I dint invite him either!:
    JK: Well we will just have to stay here till he stops talking cak and leaves
    DC: That could be a while, its freezing out here:

    JK: I wonder how the hell that right wing apologist Pete George got his hands on an invite?

  58. Ecosse_Maidy 58

    Rentokill’s, New Lion Rat deterrence, didn’t seem to be working….

    In fact it seem to attract them!

  59. Ecosse_Maidy 59

    No 10 Fancy Dress Party…..Oh you came as a swine too!

    • Chooky 59.1

      lol…you wanna hear a good piggy joke?…it is about the piggy and his goods and services taxes

  60. Chooky 60

    we really must get tougher on tax evasion

  61. Chooky 61

    my left hand does not know what my right hand is doing…compartmentalization is the way to go

    ….and one rule for the rich and another for the poor

    …i see we have an understanding

  62. ABSack 62

    It’s so damn hard to pick a winner from the wit displayed here. Give me a minute…. OKAY I choooooose Colonial Viper again!
    Short, sharp and succinct yet not giving away the fact he would be happy to be piggy in the middle of a Key / Cameron sandwich.

    The rest of you need to up your game. You only evinced moderate chuckles, not great gasping belly laughs. Toodles 🙂

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    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Racing Safety Development Fund open for applications
    Race courses can improve safety with this year’s second round of funding from the Racing Safety Development Fund. Minister for Racing Winston Peters has announced the second funding round of 2019/20 is open with $347,875 available for distribution. “The racing industry is integral to the economic and social fabric of ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Government to fund Aids research
    The Government is committing $300,000 to fund research to update behavioural information to make sure HIV and STI prevention services are targeted appropriately in New Zealand. Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern and Finance Minister Grant Robertson made the announcement at today’s Big Gay Out in Auckland. “There is much talk about ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Work to begin on a possible new public media entity
    The Minister of Broadcasting, Communications and Digital Media has announced work will begin on a business case to assess the viability of forming a new public media entity.   “The Government must ensure New Zealanders have a strong independent public media service for decades to come, which means ensuring public ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Government support for communities impacted by flooding
      Minister of Civil Defence Hon Peeni Henare announced today that the Government will contribute $100,000 to the Southland regional Mayoral Relief Fund, to support communities impacted by the recent flooding in Southland.  Mr Henare says this week’s flooding has caused significant disruption to communities in the lower South Island.  ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • New grants for seismic strengthening of heritage buildings
    Heritage buildings throughout New Zealand will benefit from the $1.1 million in Heritage EQUIP funding grants announced today. “These grants for seismic strengthening projects help private building owners get the advice they need to start building work or to get the work completed,” Grant Robertson says. “Timaru’s Grosvenor Hotel has ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Next level results for game development industry
    A new survey has found New Zealand’s game development sector has grown beyond expectations and is on track to becoming a billion dollar industry in 2025, Economic Development Minister Phil Twyford says. “New Zealand’s interactive media sector grew by 42 per cent in last financial year to $203.4 million, according ...
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    2 weeks ago
  • More than 70 marae online through PGF
    Te Tii, the lower marae at Waitangi, is among more than 70 marae now connected to broadband internet thanks to the Provincial Growth Fund’s marae connectivity scheme, Regional Economic Development Minister Shane Jones said today. In February 2019, the Provincial Growth Fund (PGF) allocated $21 million to connect rural towns ...
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    2 weeks ago
  • PGF supports West Coast connectivity
    The West Coast has had a funding injection of over $1.2 million from the Provincial Growth Fund, Under Secretary for Regional Economic Development Fletcher Tabuteau announced at Waitangi Day commemorations in Hokitika today.  The PGF projects announced are:  $800,000 to Development West Coast for a Grey District Regional Digital Hub ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Agriculture Minister declares adverse event in Southland
    Agriculture Minister Damien O’Connor has declared an adverse event for the Southland and Otago regions, unlocking Government support for farmers and growers. “Widespread flooding has resulted in severe disruption, with many people evacuated from their homes and many farms being affected by flood waters. It’s putting pressure on our farmers, ...
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    2 weeks ago
  • PM announces public funeral service for Mike Moore
    Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern has announced a funeral service for former Labour Prime Minister the Rt Hon Mike Moore, ONZ, AO. A public service will be held on Friday 14 February at 2pm at Dilworth School senior campus, 2 Erin Street, Epsom, Auckland. “The service will be a celebration of ...
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    2 weeks ago