web analytics

Caption contest

Written By: - Date published: 11:14 am, September 4th, 2011 - 68 comments
Categories: caption contest - Tags:

68 comments on “Caption contest ”

  1. logie97 1

    “When you get our card we will be able to stop you spending your benefit on junk food, so enjoy it while you can!”

    • D-D-D-Damn! 1.1

      Thought Bubble coming out of elderly lady’s head: “Awww, for Fucksake !, who’s this prick ? Looks like he thinks he’s some sort of Comedian.”

      Sorry, that wasn’t meant to be funny. I’ve been led to understand that’s precisely what she was thinking.

  2. Would you like lies with that?

  3. lprent 3

    Smiling because he knows the quality of saliva provided.

  4. fabregas4 4

    “Hahahahaha, Macca’s, I was at Antoine’s last evening, and you paid for that too!”.

  5. ianmac 5

    John does something more useful than his previous 6 months put together.

  6. ianmac 6

    John gets a laugh from the little old lady’s big treat of the week.

  7. ianmac 7

    Little old lady heard to mutter, “Bastards!”

  8. kriswgtn 8

    Would you like fries with your home care cuts madam??

  9. Bill 9

    Ah-ha! Now we’ve got your details from your eftpos transaction we’ll be sending Paula round for a wee chat. Didn’t see that coming, did ya? Eating ‘maccas’ at 2.30 p.m. on a Tuesday? Bloody dole scrounger! And don’t give me that ‘I’m retired’ line. I didn’t get to be where I am today by giving a toss about retirement.

  10. joe90 10

    See, I told you, you didn’t really need that home help.

  11. you’ll be right, that’s enough for your table

    yeah – on yer bike, go on – piss off

  12. Treetop 12

    Any oppertunity to be photographed will not be turned down.

  13. Hilary 13

    You mean people really do this shit job for $13 an hour!

  14. How you like my low wage economy now bitch!

  15. felix 15

    “Thank fuck I’m not subject to youth rates, I still gets my $400k a year for this!”

  16. just saying 16

    Are you a mum madam? Can we interest you in a power company with that? (people can’t do without power ….if you know what I mean). Or how about a state monopoly accident insurer?

    Not enough money madam?

    Well, go out and get a job you lazy cow!

  17. John Key discovers a job commensurate with his abilities.

  18. GorjusGeorge 18

    “Hey, wanna take a bet on whether the old girl makes it to the table without spilling her coffee?”

  19. beats eating catfood for a change eh ?…just, HAHAHA

  20. Enjoy your healthy Maccer’s treat… would you like a “voluntary” operation with that?

  21. National introduces a new policy to reduce the numbers receiving superannuation – compulsory McD’s three times a day for everyone over 65 (excepted for Friday when it is KFC)

    • mik e 21.1

      Ian Its working for Gerry and Paula. they have their own little obesity epidemic.I’m lovin it

  22. Irascible 22

    Key checks out a life style choice for those on fixed and decreasing incomes. Waits for photo to be taken, smiles, waves and scuttles off to double dipton at Antoines for” reality fix”.

  23. fabregas4 23

    “If only you had made better choices, you could afford better food” Aside “silly old cow probably remembers egalitarian NZ”

  24. Kevin Welsh 24

    Probably the most honest work he has ever done in his life.

  25. ropata 25

    Take that tray over to Big Gerry on table 9, that’s only the first part of his 17 course breakfast

  26. tc 26

    Hurry up before bennetts order or it’ll be the salad choice only.

  27. Jenny 27

    Oliver Twist survives Dickensian London, in an effort to escape his miserable past, immigrates to New Zealand, disguises his identity, and lives to 150, yet, still get laughs at by the Beadle and his assistant when he asks for more.

  28. Paul Campbell 28

    “What were those shiny round pieces of metal she gave you?”

  29. Craig Glen Eden 29

    Customer: some things missing wheres my brighter future.

    John: oh come on dont be like that it was just an add
    you didnt honestly think I would deliver did ya?

    Maccas employee: next thing you will want a big Mac that looks like the ones in our adds.

  30. Jenny 30

    John Key attempts to……… [deleted]

  31. antithesis 31

    Helen Clark finds new job at MacDonalds upon exiting UN

  32. fabregas4 32

    “Yes, this is what you worked for all your life, your honest, decent toil, your contributions to your country, your honesty and industry have led you to this. Whats the long face for?, you will be happy to know that I’m doing fine in the polls”.

  33. Jenny 33

    Slick product placement.

    Brand John Key gets a cameo in a Mac Donalds advertisement.

  34. Pete 34

    Former Labour voter opts for something with more substance. 

  35. Adders 35

    Now that you’ve paid for that burger, how would you like to buy it again? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, loser.

  36. Jenny 36

    While on a transit stop at Honolulu airport in the US territory of Hawaii, New Zealander Lois Kent, is astounded at uncovering John Key’s real identity.

  37. fabregas4 37

    “Well ackshelly, nobody has noticed the difference after my job swap with Ronald”.

  38. Jenny 38

    John Key demonstrates how he was able to, by dint of hard work and honesty make $50 million dollars.

    • mik e 38.1

      Bank of America goes bankrupt key has to work in minimum wage job!
      New Ziland goes bankrupt after 3 years of National Govt .Key works in burger joint cos govt can’t pay Pms wages.

  39. Vicky32 39

    “Really, I may look just  like a cardboard cut out, but see how happy the woman beside me looks! She knows I can do a real job!”

  40. Don’t blame me for your liquefaction lady!

  41. Willie Maley 41

    LOLZ Iza McDonalds 4 star general now.

  42. HC 42

    Hallo dear, this is a Prime Ministerial holdup! Yes, believe it or not, this is a HOLDUP! Hand over the cash and a couple of Big Macs right away, and nothing harmful will happen. You think, you have seen me before? NO, that is impossible. I only look like him, but I have a sense of humour too, that is why I do this with a big, wide smile. All is well, my dear, all is in GOOOD Hands!

  43. Drakula 43

    The big question here is; Did he give her the correct change?

  44. Tazirev 44

    Another NACT voter short changed

  45. Whatever happens, after the 26th I’m gonna get all Edward Hyde on your arse!

  46. DJ 46

    Sorry nan’, this has to last you for the week.

  47. mikesh 47

    Milk shake? You must be kidding. You won’t be able to afford one of those.

  48. Philoff 48

    “Sorry Mam, we only have the tax cut fries and the privatisation burger.”

  49. Tom Gould 49

    Just calling it a ‘happy meal’ won’t make it so, the elderly woman thought as she collected her order from the over-dressed pimp and his crackhead bitch on the counter …

  50. Postie 50

    Fuck Up Bitch your be on this side after Nov 25th

    • mik e 50.1

      No the old person was on the serving side showing off national super savings policy because if you don’t save you’ll end up working till your ninety!

  51. We only accept your soul as payment here lady!

  52. Mac1 52

    “Tchah! We got rid of the hyenas in ’35, saw them off in ’57 and in ’72, and again in ’84 and ’99- and by God we’ll do it again in three months time…… Oi, where’s my purse?”

  53. ropata 53

    PM and corporate crony (mockingly): 5 dollar combo all you can afford you old tart, serves you right for working hard all your life and putting all your savings into blue chip. Pays better to be an investment banker not a sucker aye hahahaha

  54. kirk 54

    ‘Lady Customer Thinking’ I wonder if he washed his hands, as well as he has with our country?

  55. Jason 55

    Corporate sponsorship of NZ Govt. results in new look offices for ministers.
    “I came here seeking help” remarked one desperate pensioner as she turned away from reception area of the new Prime Ministers office,, “but the nice lady could only offer a clown in a suit and some cleverly packaged crap”.

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • NZ announces a third P-3 deployment in support of UN sanctions
    The Government has deployed a Royal New Zealand Air Force P-3K2 Orion (P-3) maritime patrol aircraft to support the implementation of United Nations Security Council (UNSC) resolutions imposing sanctions against North Korea, announced Minister of Foreign Affairs Winston Peters and Minister of Defence Ron Mark. “New Zealand has long supported ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Pacific trade and development agreement a reality
    Pacific regional trade and development agreement PACER Plus will enter into force in 60 days now that the required eight countries have ratified it. Trade and Export Growth Minister David Parker welcomed the announcement that the Cook Islands is the eighth nation to ratify this landmark agreement. “The agreement represents ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • Securing a pipeline of teachers
    The Government is changing its approach to teacher recruitment as COVID-19 travel restrictions continue, by boosting a range of initiatives to get more Kiwis into teaching. “When we came into Government, we were faced with a teacher supply crisis,” Education Minister Chris Hipkins said. “Over the past three years, we ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Border exceptions for a small number of international students with visas
    The Government has established a new category that will allow 250 international PhD and postgraduate students to enter New Zealand and continue their studies, in the latest set of border exceptions. “The health, safety and wellbeing of people in New Zealand remains the Government’s top priority. Tight border restrictions remain ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • First COVID-19 vaccine purchase agreement signed
    The Government has signed an agreement to purchase 1.5 million COVID-19 vaccines – enough for 750,000 people – from Pfizer and BioNTech, subject to the vaccine successfully completing all clinical trials and passing regulatory approvals in New Zealand, say Research, Science and Innovation Minister Megan Woods and Health Minister Chris Hipkins. ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • International statement – End-to-end encryption and public safety
    We, the undersigned, support strong encryption, which plays a crucial role in protecting personal data, privacy, intellectual property, trade secrets and cyber security.  It also serves a vital purpose in repressive states to protect journalists, human rights defenders and other vulnerable people, as stated in the 2017 resolution of the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Ministry of Defence Biodefence Assessment released
    The Ministry of Defence has today released a Defence Assessment examining Defence’s role across the spectrum of biological hazards and threats facing New Zealand. Biodefence: Preparing for a New Era of Biological Hazards and Threats looks at how the NZDF supports other agencies’ biodefence activities, and considers the context of ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • New Approaches to Economic Challenges: Confronting Planetary Emergencies: OECD 9 October 2020
    New Approaches to Economic Challenges: Confronting Planetary Emergencies: OECD 9 October 2020 Hon David Parker’s response following Thomas Piketty and Esther Duflo. Good morning, good afternoon, and good evening, wherever in the world you might be. I first acknowledge the excellent thought provoking speeches of Thomas Piketty and Esther ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Kaipara Moana restoration takes next step
    A Memorandum of Understanding has been signed today at Waihāua Marae between the Crown, local iwi and councils to protect, restore and enhance the mauri of Kaipara Moana in Northland. Environment Minister David Parker signed the document on behalf of the Crown along with representatives from Ngā Maunga Whakahī, Ngāti ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • New Zealand and Uruguay unite on reducing livestock production emissions
    Agriculture Minister Damien O’Connor and Uruguayan Minister of Livestock, Agriculture and Fisheries Carlos María Uriarte have welcomed the launch of a three-year project that will underpin sustainable livestock production in Uruguay, Argentina, and Costa Rica.  The project called ‘Innovation for pasture management’ is led by Uruguay’s National Institute of Agricultural ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • 3100 jobs created through marae upgrades
    Hundreds of marae throughout the country will be upgraded through investments from the Provincial Growth Fund’s refocused post COVID-19 funding to create jobs and put money into the pockets of local tradespeople and businesses, Regional Economic Development Minister Shane Jones and Māori Development Minister Nanaia Mahuta have announced. “A total ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Health volunteers recognised in annual awards
    Health Minister Chris Hipkins has announced 9 teams and 14 individuals are the recipients of this year’s Minister of Health Volunteer Awards.  “The health volunteer awards celebrate and recognise the thousands of dedicated health sector volunteers who give many hours of their time to help other New Zealanders,” Mr Hipkins ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Community COVID-19 Fund supports Pacific recovery
    The Minister for Pacific Peoples, Aupito William Sio says a total of 264 groups and individuals have successfully applied for the Pacific Aotearoa Community COVID-19 Recovery Fund, that will support Pacific communities drive their own COVID-19 recovery strategies, initiatives, and actions. “I am keen to see this Fund support Pacific ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Community benefits from Māori apprenticeships
    Up to 50 Māori apprentices in Wellington will receive paid training to build houses for their local communities, thanks to a $2.75 million investment from the Māori Trades and Training Fund, announced Employment Minister Willie Jackson today. “This funding will enable Ngāti Toa Rangatira Incorporated to provide its Ngā Kaimahi ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Training fund supports Māori jobseekers
    Rapidly growing sectors will benefit from a $990,000 Māori Trades and Training Fund investment which will see Wellington jobseekers supported into work, announced Employment Minister Willie Jackson today. “This funding will enable Sapphire Consultants Ltd. to help up to 45 Māori jobseekers into paid training initiatives over two years through ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Ruakura Inland Port development vital infrastructure for Waikato
    The Government is investing $40 million to develop an inland port at Ruakura which will become a freight super-hub and a future business, research and residential development for the Waikato, Urban Development and Transport Minister Phil Twyford, and Māori Development Minister Nanaia Mahuta announced today. The funding has been has ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Appointments made to Defence Expert Review Group
    Defence Minister Ron Mark announced today the establishment of an Expert Review Group to review a number of aspects of the New Zealand Defence Force’s (NZDF) structure, information management and record-keeping processes.  The Expert Review Group’s work arises out of the first recommendation from the Report of the Government’s Inquiry ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • No active community cases of COVID-19
    There are no active community cases of COVID-19 remaining in the country after the last people from the recent outbreak have recovered from the virus, Health Minister Chris Hipkins said today. “This is a big milestone. New Zealanders have once again through their collective actions squashed the virus. The systems ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Clean energy upgrade for more public buildings
    More public buildings will be supported by the Government to upgrade to run on clean energy, the Minister for Climate Change James Shaw announced today. Minister Shaw announced that Lincoln and Auckland universities will receive support through the Clean-Powered Public Service Fund to replace fossil fuel boilers. Southern, Taranaki, and ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Schools back donations scheme for the second year
    More schools have opted in to the donations scheme for 2021, compared to 2020 when the scheme was introduced. “The families of more than 447,000 students will be better off next year, with 94% of eligible schools and kura opting into the scheme,” Education Minister Chris Hipkins said. “This is ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Ruapehu cycle trails gets PGF boost
    The spectacular Mountains to Sea cycle trail in Ruapehu District will receive $4.6 million in funding from the Provincial Growth Fund for two additional trails, Regional Economic Development Minister Shane Jones announced today. “This is an exciting development for the local community, and one that will provide significant economic opportunities ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago
  • Update to air border order strengthens crew requirements
    Additional measures coming into effect on Monday will boost our defence against COVID-19 entering New Zealand through the air border, Health Minister Chris Hipkins said today. “As part of our precautionary approach and strategy of constant review, we’re tightening the requirements around international aircrew,” Chris Hipkins said. The COVID-19 Public ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago
  • A true picture of Māori business activity
    A better picture of the contribution Māori businesses make to the economy will be possible with changes to the way information is collected about companies and trading enterprises. Māori Development Minister Nanaia Mahuta and Small Business Minister Stuart Nash have announced a new option for Māori enterprises who are part ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago
  • PGF funding for Taranaki projects
    The South Taranaki museum, a New Plymouth distillery and a Pasifika building firm will benefit from a Government investment totalling more than $1 million, Regional Economic Development Minister Shane Jones says. The $1.05m in grants and loans from the Provincial Growth Fund (PGF) will help the recipients expand and create ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago
  • Fijian Language Week 2020 inspires courage and strength during COVID-19 pandemic
    The Minister for Pacific Peoples, Aupito William Sio says the theme for the 2020 Fijian Language Week reflects the strong belief by Fijians that their language and culture inspires courage and strength that is strongly needed in times of emergencies, or through a significant challenge like the global COVID-19 pandemic ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago