web analytics

Caption contest

Written By: - Date published: 7:24 am, October 14th, 2011 - 51 comments
Categories: brand key - Tags:

51 comments on “Caption contest ”

  1. Scotty 1

    Not the face, Not the face

  2. AndrewK 2

    These are not the ‘droids you’re looking for.

  3. HardlyAnonymous 3

    Some clowns have tiny bikes, I have a tiny microphone.

  4. just saying 4

    Look.
    Talk to the hand.

    (Cos I don’t give a shit.
    Ackshully.)

  5. The Voice of Reason 5

    Monorail! Monorail!

  6. Scotty 6

    Whos that?

    Thank fuck, its just you Garner

    .”I was just checking my Blind Trust”

  7. Scotty 7

    Follow me everyone
    I found this Black hole.

  8. One Anonymous Bloke 8

    “I am not a crook.”

  9. Scotty 9

    Hey dont shoot the messenger.

    Crosby Textor’s who you want.

  10. Deuto 10

    Ackshully, as I can’t speak English prply, will try Sign Language. Worked for Bob Parker!

    PS – no disrespect of NZSL or its users meant: though it was great to see NZ’s third language being used/recognised publicly in the Christchurch disaster press conferences etc.

  11. Scotty 11

    Key on Papamoa beach
    Five days too late.

  12. ianmac 12

    Look into my eyes. You are in my power. You love me. You love me. No matter what I say or do. You love me. You love me.

  13. pull my finger, any finger…

  14. Steve 14

    Anyone got a magic wand? Anyone? Put it right here…

  15. joe90 15

    I mean, money isn’t everything. Think of clouds and daisies, and the lovely smiles on little babies’ faces.

  16. And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles, Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, see if I don’t!”

  17. Richard Down South 17

    “Anyone got a working magic wand?”

  18. ak 18

    See folks? Nothing in this hand….nothing up the sleeve….nothing between the ear – BEHIND! – behind the ears! (oh god, help me mum – I MEAN GUYON! …help me Steve, make it end…)

  19. Fair and Balanced? 19

    “…and …POOF… The money is gone!”

    • Steve 19.1

      “…and POOF, I jet off to my mansion in Hawaii and whoever’s left deals with this mess. So that’s the brighter future plan, any questions?”

  20. Put that shoe down!
    ———————
    No it’s not a lie if a lot of people believe it
    ———————
    The Prime Minister demonstrates how the credit downgrade was just a trick of the light
    ———————
    After facing opposition, PM tries to fade into the background
    ———————
    PM realises his hallo has fallen and it’s not showing him in a good light
    ———————
    PM explains to Shane Warne the move he put on Liz Hurley
    ———————
    Key, wanting to get back at Annette King for the scumbag remark, practices the “woman and stairs” move his friend Tony Veitch taught him
    ———————

  21. r0b 21

    Now watch as I make the rest of the economy vanish… 
     

  22. sally 22

    “I have a vision – a grand vision – of my face. On billboards. Everywhere.”

  23. Cin77 23

    “I did not have sexual relations with that woman”

  24. Deadly_NZ 24

    Abracadabra 170,000 jobs. Abracadabra 170,000 jobs. Abracadabra 170,000 jobs. Abracadabra 170,000 jobs. Abracadabra 170,000 jobs. Abracadabra 170,000 jobs. Abracadabra 170,000 jobs. Abracadabra 170,000 jobs. Abracadabra 170,000 jobs. Abracadabra 170,000 jobs. Abracadabra 170,000 jobs. Abracadabra 170,000 jobs. Abracadabra 170,000 jobs. Abracadabra 170,000 jobs. Abracadabra 170,000 jobs.

  25. so you hold the little oil-caked bird like this and then using this cotton wool bud you begin to gently wipe the feathers…

  26. Andy-Roo 26

    What are you doing with that crucifix…

  27. felix 27

    “Nothing can stop.. THE CLAW!!!”

  28. Ianupnorth 28

    This PM will self destruct before November 26th

  29. McFlock 29

    Ying Skywalkah, unly now, it the und, do ya realise tha drew poweh of tha Dick Side… Gut ruddy for my sparkly lightning fungutups… any sukund now…

  30. Mac1 30

    The only thing straight with this man is his tie!

  31. flatscreenface 31

    …and when they finally got home and got out of the car…there was a bloody hook hanging from the door handle…ripped from the arm of the psycho stockbroker…

  32. fender 32

    Yeah look I know Im wearing Winstons pinstripe jacket but like Ive said… I wont work with NZ First…Ive just borrowed it cos after visiting Tauranga all my clothes are ruined.

  33. Treetop 33

    Possum caught in the headlights.

    He suddenly remembered he was the PM and it was all a bit much for him.

  34. fender 34

    – As you can tell from the lighting I’m determined to return NZ into the Dark Ages.
    – Yes I know its dark but I’ve had a fallout with the mates I sold the power companies to and they cut supply despite the fact its unaffordable anyway.
    – Its not Dark Yet…but its getting there. (B. Dylan)
    – Despite “enjoying a large lead in the polls” I’m practising in case I lose for a new role as head of Destiny Church.

  35. rod 35

    The Brighter Future looks a bit dark from where I’m standing Johnny Boy.

  36. happynz 36

    Why yes, I am a short-fingered vulgarian.

  37. “Sure it looks like I’m trying to do one of those scary torch faces, but is the lighting catching my All Black’s Silver Fern?”

  38. peterlepaysan 38

    Trust me trust me trust me trust me……………..i am honest John
    (repeat above ad infinitum)

  39. Jenny 39

    Disturbingly lifelike Hollowman skin suit found hanging inside an abandoned Christchurch warehouse.

  40. Maynard J 40

    “Look into my eyes, look into my eyes, not around my eyes, look into my eyes…you now think that you’re better off under National. You think that you have a job. You will tell everyone it’s thanks to me.”

  41. fender 41

    – Police release photo of man wanted for State Owned Asset robbery.
    – PM proves to David Copperfield you can make State Owned Assets disappear.
    -” Dont worry about the lights going out NZ… I’ve got container loads of candles coming on the Rena”

  42. fender 42

    No no it’s not a solar eclipse… its just Paula or Gerry moving behind me.

  43. locus 43

    now the peasants have voted me back in for another 3 years there’ll be no more backchat from you f**rs in the media

  44. M 44

    “Observe me, my dears, how I have ruined the economy and our credit rating with just one clammy hand.”

  45. M 45

    “Steady on, Bronagh, there’s no need for a crossbow – I didn’t really mean you were a hobbit. I did it to further my career and our trips to Hawai’i.”

  46. Rosalind 46

    Yes, electricity will be more expensive, but see, dark really isn’t that bad…

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • Standard kerbside recycling part of new era for waste system
    The Government today announced far-reaching changes to the way we make, use, recycle and dispose of waste, ushering in a new era for New Zealand’s waste system. The changes will ensure that where waste is recycled, for instance by households at the kerbside, it is less likely to be contaminated ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 hour ago
  • New laws will crack down on gang profits and criminal assets
    New legislation passed by the Government today will make it harder for gangs and their leaders to benefit financially from crime that causes considerable harm in our communities, Minister of Justice Kiri Allan says. Since the Criminal Proceeds (Recovery) Act 2009 came into effect police have been highly successful in ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    15 hours ago
  • Stuart Nash dismissed from Cabinet
    This evening I have advised the Governor-General to dismiss Stuart Nash from all his ministerial portfolios. Late this afternoon I was made aware by a news outlet of an email Stuart Nash sent in March 2020 to two contacts regarding a commercial rent relief package that Cabinet had considered. In ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    15 hours ago
  • Tax incentive to boost housing passes third reading
    Legislation to enable more build-to-rent developments has passed its third reading in Parliament, so this type of rental will be able to claim interest deductibility in perpetuity where it meets the requirements. Housing Minister Dr Megan Woods, says the changes will help unlock the potential of the build-to-rent sector and ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    17 hours ago
  • Law levels playing field for low-emissions commuting
    A law passed by Parliament today exempts employers from paying fringe benefit tax on certain low emission commuting options they provide or subsidise for their staff.  “Many employers already subsidise the commuting costs of their staff, for instance by providing car parks,” Environment Minister David Parker said.  “This move supports ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    17 hours ago
  • 40 years of Closer Economic Relations with Australia
    Today marks the 40th anniversary of Closer Economic Relations (CER), our gold standard free trade agreement between New Zealand and Australia. “CER was a world-leading agreement in 1983, is still world-renowned today and is emblematic of both our countries’ commitment to free trade. The WTO has called it the world’s ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    21 hours ago
  • Amendments to mass arrivals legislation
    The Government is making procedural changes to the Immigration Act to ensure that 2013 amendments operate as Parliament intended.   The Government is also introducing a new community management approach for asylum seekers. “While it’s unlikely we’ll experience a mass arrival due to our remote positioning, there is no doubt New ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    22 hours ago
  • Progress on public service pay adjustment
    The Government welcomes progress on public sector pay adjustment (PSPA) agreements, and the release of the updated public service pay guidance by the Public Service Commission today, Minister for the Public Service Andrew Little says. “More than a dozen collective agreements are now settled in the public service, Crown Agents, ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    23 hours ago
  • Further legislation introduced to support cyclone recovery
    The Government has introduced the Severe Weather Emergency Recovery Legislation Bill to further support the recovery and rebuild from the recent severe weather events in the North Island. “We know from our experiences following the Canterbury and Kaikōura earthquakes that it will take some time before we completely understand the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Duty relief for cyclone-affected businesses
    Further assistance is now available to businesses impacted by Cyclone Gabrielle, with Customs able to offer payment plans and to remit late-payments, Customs Minister Meka Whaitiri has announced. “This is part of the Government’s ongoing commitment to assist economic recovery in the regions,” Meka Whaitiri said. “Cabinet has approved the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Thousands of sole parents to be better off after child support changes
    More than 41,000 sole parent families will be better off with a median gain of $20 a week Law change estimated to help lift up to 14,000 children out of poverty Child support payments will be passed on directly to people receiving a sole parent rate of main benefit, making ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Green investment fund delivers on climate action
    A major investment by Government-owned New Zealand Green Investment Finance towards electrifying the public bus fleet is being welcomed by Climate Change Minister James Shaw. “Today’s announcement that NZGIF has signed a $50 million financing deal with Kinetic, the biggest bus operator in Australasia, to further decarbonise public transport is ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Tax credit boosts cash flow for Kiwi innovators
    A world-leading payments system is expected to provide a significant cash flow boost for Kiwi innovators, Minister of Research, Science, and Innovation Ayesha Verrall says. Announcing that applications for ‘in-year’ payments of the Research and Development Tax Incentive (RDTI) were open, Ayesha Verrall said it represented a win for businesses ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Te Awa shared path completed
    Minister of Transport Michael Wood joined crowds of keen cyclists and walkers this morning to celebrate the completion of the Te Awa shared path in Hamilton. “The Government is upgrading New Zealand’s transport system to make it safer, greener, and more efficient for now and future generations to come,” Michael ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Crown apology to Ngāti Kahungunu ki Wairarapa Tāmaki nui-a-Rua
    Treaty of Waitangi Negotiations Minister Andrew Little has delivered the Crown apology to Ngāti Kahungunu ki Wairarapa Tāmaki nui-a-Rua for its historic breaches of Te Tiriti of Waitangi today. The ceremony was held at Queen Elizabeth Park in Masterton, hosted by Ngāti Kahungunu ki Wairarapa Tāmaki nui-a-Rua, with several hundred ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Minister of Foreign Affairs meets with Chinese counterpart
    Minister of Foreign Affairs Nanaia Mahuta has concluded her visit to China, the first by a New Zealand Foreign Minister since 2018. The Minister met her counterpart, newly appointed State Councilor and Minister of Foreign Affairs, Qin Gang, who also hosted a working dinner. This was the first engagement between the two ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Government delivering world-class satellite positioning services
    World-class satellite positioning services that will support much safer search and rescue, boost precision farming, and help safety on construction sites through greater accuracy are a significant step closer today, says Land Information Minister Damien O’Connor. Damien O’Connor marked the start of construction on New Zealand’s first uplink centre for ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • District Court Judges appointed
    Attorney-General David Parker has announced the appointment of Christopher John Dellabarca of Wellington, Dr Katie Jane Elkin of Wellington, Caroline Mary Hickman of Napier, Ngaroma Tahana of Rotorua, Tania Rose Williams Blyth of Hamilton and Nicola Jan Wills of Wellington as District Court Judges.  Chris Dellabarca Mr Dellabarca commenced his ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Notes of an address to the Environmental Defence Society Conference, Auckland
    Tēnā koutou katoa. Can I begin by thanking Gary Taylor, Raewyn Peart and others in the EDS team for their herculean work in support of the environment. I’d also like to acknowledge Hon Simon Upton, Parliamentary Commissioner for the Environment, my parliamentary colleagues, and the many activists here who strive ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • New project set to supercharge ocean economy in Nelson Tasman
    A new Government-backed project will help ocean-related businesses in the Nelson Tasman region to accelerate their growth and boost jobs. “The Nelson Tasman region is home to more than 400 blue economy businesses, accounting for more than 30 percent of New Zealand’s economic activity in fishing, aquaculture, and seafood processing,” ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • National’s education policy: where’s the funding?
    After three years of COVID-19 disruptions schools are finally settling down and National want to throw that all in the air with major disruption to learning and underinvestment.  “National’s education policy lacks the very thing teachers, parents and students need after a tough couple of years, certainty and stability,” Education ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Free programme to help older entrepreneurs and inventors
    People aged over 50 with innovative business ideas will now be able to receive support to advance their ideas to the next stage of development, Minister for Seniors Ginny Andersen said today. “Seniors have some great entrepreneurial ideas, and this programme will give them the support to take that next ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Government target increased to keep powering up the Māori economy
    A cross government target for relevant government procurement contracts for goods and services to be awarded to Māori businesses annually will increase to 8%, after the initial 5% target was exceeded. The progressive procurement policy was introduced in 2020 to increase supplier diversity, starting with Māori businesses, for the estimated ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Continued progress on reducing poverty in challenging times
    77,000 fewer children living in low income households on the after-housing-costs primary measure since Labour took office Eight of the nine child poverty measures have seen a statistically significant reduction since 2018. All nine have reduced 28,700 fewer children experiencing material hardship since 2018 Measures taken by the Government during ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Speech at Fiji Investment and Trade Business Forum
    Deputy Prime Minister Kamikamica; distinguished guests, ladies and gentlemen. Tēnā koutou katoa, ni sa bula vinaka saka, namaste. Deputy Prime Minister, a very warm welcome to Aotearoa. I trust you have been enjoying your time here and thank you for joining us here today. To all delegates who have travelled to be ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Government investments boost and diversify local economies in lower South Island
    $2.9 million convertible loan for Scapegrace Distillery to meet growing national and international demand $4.5m underwrite to support Silverlight Studios’ project to establish a film studio in Wanaka Gore’s James Cumming Community Centre and Library to be official opened tomorrow with support of $3m from the COVID-19 Response and Recovery ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Pasifka Futures Whānau Ora Conference
    [CHECK AGAINST DELIVERY]  E ngā mana, e ngā reo, e ngā tangata katoa, o moana-nui-a-kiwa, E ngā mate, haere, haere, haere atū ra, manuia lau Malaga. Thank you for the kind introduction and opportunity to join you this morning. It is always good to be here in Aukilani, where I ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Alzheimers New Zealand conference – Opening Address
    E nga mana, e nga reo, e nga iwi, tēnā koutou katoa. Talofa lava and thank you Catherine, for the warm welcome. I’m sorry that I can’t be there in person today but it’s great for the opportunity to contribute virtually.  I’d like to start by acknowledging: Alzheimers New Zealand, ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Government future-proofs EV charging
    Transport Minister Michael Wood has today launched the first national EV (electric vehicle) charging strategy, Charging Our Future, which includes plans to provide EV charging stations in almost every town in New Zealand. “Our vision is for Aotearoa New Zealand to have world-class EV charging infrastructure that is accessible, affordable, ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • World-leading family harm prevention campaign supports young NZers
    Associate Minister for Social Development and Employment Priyanca Radhakrishnan has today launched the Love Better campaign in a world-leading approach to family harm prevention. Love Better will initially support young people through their experience of break-ups, developing positive and life-long attitudes to dealing with hurt. “Over 1,200 young kiwis told ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • First Chief Clinical Advisor welcomed into Coroners Court
    Hon Rino Tirikatene, Minister for Courts, welcomes the Ministry of Justice’s appointment of Dr Garry Clearwater as New Zealand’s first Chief Clinical Advisor working with the Coroners Court. “This appointment is significant for the Coroners Court and New Zealand’s wider coronial system.” Minister Tirikatene said. Through Budget 2022, the Government ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • Next steps for affected properties post Cyclone and floods
    The Government via the Cyclone Taskforce is working with local government and insurance companies to build a picture of high-risk areas following Cyclone Gabrielle and January floods. “The Taskforce, led by Sir Brian Roche, has been working with insurance companies to undertake an assessment of high-risk areas so we can ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • New appointment to Māori Land Court bench
    E te huia kaimanawa, ko Ngāpuhi e whakahari ana i tau aupikinga ki te tihi o te maunga. Ko te Ao Māori hoki e whakanui ana i a koe te whakaihu waka o te reo Māori i roto i te Ao Ture. (To the prized treasure, it is Ngāpuhi who ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • Government focus on jobs sees record number of New Zealanders move from Benefits into work
    113,400 exits into work in the year to June 2022 Young people are moving off Benefit faster than after the Global Financial Crisis Two reports released today by the Ministry of Social Development show the Government’s investment in the COVID-19 response helped drive record numbers of people off Benefits and ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Vertical farming partnership has upward momentum
    The Government’s priority to keep New Zealand at the cutting edge of food production and lift our sustainability credentials continues by backing the next steps of a hi-tech vertical farming venture that uses up to 95 per cent less water, is climate resilient, and pesticide-free. Agriculture Minister Damien O’Connor visited ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Conference of Pacific Education Ministers – Keynote Address
    E nga mana, e nga iwi, e nga reo, e nga hau e wha, tena koutou, tena koutou, tena koutou kātoa. Warm Pacific greetings to all. It is an honour to host the inaugural Conference of Pacific Education Ministers here in Tāmaki Makaurau. Aotearoa is delighted to be hosting you ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • New $13m renal unit supports Taranaki patients
    The new renal unit at Taranaki Base Hospital has been officially opened by the Minister of Health Dr Ayesha Verrall this afternoon. Te Huhi Raupō received around $13 million in government funding as part of Project Maunga Stage 2, the redevelopment of the Taranaki Base Hospital campus. “It’s an honour ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Second Poseidon aircraft on home soil
    Defence Minister Andrew Little has marked the arrival of the country’s second P-8A Poseidon aircraft alongside personnel at the Royal New Zealand Air Force’s Base at Ohakea today. “With two of the four P-8A Poseidons now on home soil this marks another significant milestone in the Government’s historic investment in ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Further humanitarian aid for Türkiye and Syria
    Aotearoa New Zealand will provide further humanitarian support to those seriously affected by last month’s deadly earthquakes in Türkiye and Syria, says Foreign Minister Nanaia Mahuta. “The 6 February earthquakes have had devastating consequences, with almost 18 million people affected. More than 53,000 people have died and tens of thousands more ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Community voice to help shape immigration policy
    Migrant communities across New Zealand are represented in the new Migrant Community Reference Group that will help shape immigration policy going forward, Immigration Minister Michael Wood announced today.  “Since becoming Minister, a reoccurring message I have heard from migrants is the feeling their voice has often been missing around policy ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago

Page generated in The Standard by Wordpress at 2023-03-28T21:15:52+00:00