Caption contest
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7:24 am, October 14th, 2011 - 51 comments
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51 comments on “Caption contest ”
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More children are going hungry and statistics showing children in material hardship continue to get worse. ...1 week ago
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The Government yesterday released its annual child poverty statistics, and by its own admission, more tamariki across Aotearoa are now living in material hardship. ...1 week ago
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New Zealanders have waited longer to get an appointment with a specialist and to get elective surgery under the National Government. ...1 week ago
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- Ka mate te Pire, ka ora Te Tiriti o Waitangi – Treaty Principles Bill dead, Te Tiriti o Waitangi m...
The Green Party is proud to have voted down the Coalition Government’s Treaty Principles Bill, an archaic piece of legislation that sought to attack the nation’s founding agreement. ...1 week ago
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- Release: Reserve Bank acts while Govt shrugs
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- Release: Property Law Amendment Bill pulled from ballot
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The Labour Leader today acknowledged and celebrated David Parker’s 23-year contribution to the Labour Party and to Parliament. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: David Parker to step down from Parliament
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- Release: Flaws in Govt’s climate strategy will cost us money
The Government’s plan to achieve our climate goals falls short, and will cost New Zealanders money and jobs. ...2 weeks ago
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- Release: Worst February for building consents in over a decade
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- Release: Kiwis worse off this April thanks to Govt choices
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- Photography gains ground in art market
In an art world context, photography has evolved significantly over the years pushing boundaries in both technique and concept. No longer the poor cousin of painting, but still much more affordable thanks to photographs being sold in numbered editions, an art photograph doesn’t merely capture a moment—artists use the medium ...3 hours ago - The global challenge making your backyard come alive
Last year, 20,000 observations of Christchurch species were made during the annual City Nature Challenge, a way for anyone to get involved in biodiversity. It’s back again this month. Even in suburbia, even on grey autumn weekends, there is biodiversity. You just need the time to look for it: to ...4 hours ago - Palestinian solidarity vigil at Easter in NZ as Israeli bombing rages in Gaza
Asia Pacific Report Peaceful protesters in Aotearoa New Zealand’s largest city Auckland held an Easter prayer vigil honouring Palestinian political prisoners and the sacrifice of thousands of innocent lives as relentless Israeli bombing of displaced Gazans in tents killed at least 92 people in two days. Organisers of the rally ...7 hours ago - Labour’s Chris Hipkins stands by initial Covid response, but admits mistakes were made
Labour's Chris Hipkins shares on a podcast his thoughts on the government's Covid response and his journey as a politician. ...11 hours ago - Did Australia back the wrong war in the 1960s? Now Putin’s Russia is knocking on the door
ANALYSIS: By Ben Bohane This week Cambodia marks the 50th anniversary of the fall of Phnom Penh to the murderous Khmer Rouge, and Vietnam celebrates the fall of Saigon to North Vietnamese forces in April 1975. They are being commemorated very differently; after all, there’s nothing to celebrate in Cambodia. ...11 hours ago
- Trump executive orders roll back ocean fisheries protections in Pacific
By Gujari Singh in Washington The Trump administration has issued a new executive order opening up vast swathes of protected ocean to commercial exploitation, including areas within the Pacific Islands Heritage Marine National Monument. It allows commercial fishing in areas long considered off-limits due to their ecological significance — despite ...12 hours ago
- ER Report: A Roundup of Significant Articles on EveningReport.nz for April 19, 2025
ER Report: Here is a summary of significant articles published on EveningReport.nz on April 19, 2025. Google loses online ad monopoly case. But it’s just one of many antitrust battles against big techSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Rob Nicholls, Senior Research Associate in Media and Communications, University ...18 hours ago
- Battlefield Remains Unearthed By Wildfires In Gallipoli Covered Over By Kiwi Team
New Zealand commemoration lead John McLeod said a small team, including members of the NZDF and the NZ Embassy, assisted in the covering up of remains that were exposed. ...19 hours ago - Four-Year Term Referendum Must Include Local Government
This Bill is a great opportunity to improve our system of government across all levels. Let’s make sure we get it right and give the public a say on a simple and enduring solution. ...19 hours ago
- Google loses online ad monopoly case. But it’s just one of many antitrust battles against big tech
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Rob Nicholls, Senior Research Associate in Media and Communications, University of Sydney Tech giant Google has just suffered another legal blow in the United States, losing a landmark antitrust case. This follows on from the company’s loss in a similar case last ...22 hours ago
- Prime Minister Christopher Luxon to talk trade and defence with UK prime minister Keir Starmer
Christopher Luxon will meet with King Charles and British Prime Minister Sir Keir Starmer. ...1 day ago
- The Secret Diary of .. Paddy and Amanda
Paddy GowerAmanda Luxon. I mean what can you say. Easter is a good time to publish my latest reckons at Stuff because without exaggeration or making too much of things, Amanda Luxon walks among us like Jesus but probably with better shoes.Jesus healed. How good is that? It’s really good, ...1 day ago
- Short story: The new man, by Owen Marshall
How can an afternoon be long when it starts at one o’clock and finishes at half past three? Beauden thought about that as he stood at the back of the classroom and looked through the large window to the upper grounds where his colleague Monty Spiers was taking a phys ed ...1 day ago
- Why is everyone suddenly obsessed with The Artist’s Way?
Alex Casey delves into the enduring success of The Artist’s Way, a self-help book beloved by everyone from retirees to famous rappers. On the video call, my mum is gesticulating so wildly while recounting all her recent creative endeavours that she knocks her cup of tea over a work-in-progress jigsaw ...1 day ago
- Is this the great New Zealand dessert?
Feijoa scholar Kate Evans reviews the dish everybody raves about at Metro’s 2024 restaurant of the year, Forest. People have been telling me I need to try the deep-fried feijoa dessert at Forest for about three years now. I’m embarrassed it took me this long, but it takes a lot ...1 day ago
- ‘That’s not really who I am’: Colin Fassnidge on playing the MKR villain
Chef, author and reality television judge Colin Fassnidge takes us through his life in television. Colin Fassnidge is a huge television fan. He watches every blockbuster TV series the moment it drops and scores every single show on his Instagram account. It’s a habit that recently caught the attention of ...1 day ago
- The legal loophole that allows certain streets to trade on Easter
Why are shops on Parnell Road allowed to open on Easter Sunday? It’s all thanks to an obsolete rule from the 1970s that’s been ‘frozen in time’. Originally published in 2023. Under our current trading laws, most stores are required to stay closed on Good Friday and Easter Sunday (along ...1 day ago
- Recipe: Ima’s hot cross buns
Yael Shochat, chef-owner of Auckland restaurant Ima Cuisine, shares the recipe for her hot cross buns – regularly voted among the best in the city. Originally published in 2019. HOT CROSS BUNS Makes 12 You may use equal weights of pre-ground spices, but you’ll get a much better flavour if ...1 day ago
- End finally in sight for swimmer’s 38-year challenge
Gràinne Moss knows she can’t tackle the final leg of one of the world’s toughest swimming challenges alone.In her quest to complete the Oceans Seven marathon challenge, 38 years after she began, she’s enlisted the help of two remarkable women – one barely out of her teens, and the other ...1 day ago
- What was HMNZS Manawanui doing before it sank? Calls for greater transparency
By Susana Leiataua, RNZ National presenter There are calls for greater transparency about what the HMNZS Manawanui was doing before it sank in Samoa last October — including whether the New Zealand warship was performing specific security for King Charles and Queen Camilla. The Manawanui grounded on the reef off ...1 day ago
- Labor’s poll surge continues in YouGov, but it’s barely ahead in Freshwater
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Adrian Beaumont, Election Analyst (Psephologist) at The Conversation; and Honorary Associate, School of Mathematics and Statistics, The University of Melbourne Labor increased its lead again in a YouGov poll, but Freshwater put the party ahead by just 50.3–49.7. This article also covers ...2 days ago
- ER Report: A Roundup of Significant Articles on EveningReport.nz for April 18, 2025
ER Report: Here is a summary of significant articles published on EveningReport.nz on April 18, 2025. Labor’s poll surge continues in YouGov, but they’re barely ahead in FreshwaterSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Adrian Beaumont, Election Analyst (Psephologist) at The Conversation; and Honorary Associate, School of Mathematics and ...2 days ago
- The Unity Books bestseller chart for the week ending April 18
The only published and available best-selling indie book chart in New Zealand is the top 10 sales list recorded every week at Unity Books’ stores in High St, Auckland, and Willis St, Wellington. AUCKLAND 1 Sunrise on the Reaping by Suzanne Collins (Scholastic, $30) Haymitch’s Hunger Games. 2 Careless People: A ...2 days ago
- Labor’s poll surge continues in YouGov, but they’re barely ahead in Freshwater
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Adrian Beaumont, Election Analyst (Psephologist) at The Conversation; and Honorary Associate, School of Mathematics and Statistics, The University of Melbourne Labor increased their lead again in a YouGov poll, but Freshwater put them ahead by just 50.3–49.7. This article also covers the ...2 days ago
- The Friday Poem: ‘How to Make a Terrorist’ by Tusiata Avia
A new poem by Tusiata Avia. How to make a terrorist First make a whistling sound which is the sound of a bomb just before it lands on a house. Then make an exploding sound which is the sound of the bomb which kills a father, decapitates a mother, roasts ...2 days ago
- Compulsory consent education proposed for schools
More than three quarters of recent school leavers said they didn't learn enough about consent. ...2 days ago
- Energy and shipping decisions needed before meatworks – Chatham Islands mayor
Monique Croon says energy and shipping decisions are needed before a meatworks supported by the government can proceed. ...2 days ago
- Watch live: the 2025 NZ Scrabble Masters
The top-rated Scrabble players in the country go head-to-head this Easter weekend. Watch games live from 9.30am on the stream below. How does it all work? The Masters is different to most Scrabble tournaments in that it’s invitational, open only to the top-rated players in the country. The ...2 days ago
- Film adaptations of Jane Austen novels ranked from worst to best
Books editor Claire Mabey appraises all the Austen-adapted films from 1990 onwards to separate the delightful from the duds. For the purists, read our ranking of Jane Austen’s novels here. It is a truth universally acknowledged that not everything is created equal. Since 1990 there have been 12 attempts to ...2 days ago
- Table Service: Margot is the very definition of hospitality
To arrive through the heavy red door of Margot in Newtown is to be invited to the best dinner party in town, hosted by the best friends you haven’t yet made. Table Service is a column about food and hospitality in Wellington, written by Nick Iles. Hospitality is a term ...2 days ago
- Newsroom daily quiz, Friday 18 April
Loading…(function(i,s,o,g,r,a,m){var ql=document.querySelectorAll('A[data-quiz],DIV[data-quiz]'); if(ql){if(ql.length){for(var k=0;k<ql.length;k++){ql[k].id='quiz-embed-'+k;ql[k].href="javascript:var i=document.getElementById('quiz-embed-"+k+"');try{qz.startQuiz(i)}catch(e){i.start=1;i.style.cursor='wait';i.style.opacity='0.5'};void(0);"}}};i['QP']=r;i[r]=i[r]||function(){(i[r].q=i[r].q||[]).push(arguments)},i[r].l=1*new Date();a=s.createElement(o),m=s.getElementsByTagName(o)[0];a.async=1;a.src=g;m.parentNode.insertBefore(a,m)})(window,document,'script','https://take.quiz-maker.com/3012/CDN/quiz-embed-v1.js','qp');Got a good quiz question? Send Newsroom your questions.The post Newsroom daily quiz, Friday 18 April appeared first on Newsroom. ...2 days ago
- Daily crossword, Friday 18 April
The post Daily crossword, Friday 18 April appeared first on Newsroom. ...2 days ago
- Bestselling books at Easter
NONFICTION1 No Words for This by Ali Mau (HarperCollins, $39.99)A free copy of the author’s new memoir was up for grabs in last week’s giveaway contest. Readers were asked to share their feelings about Mau, a former broadcaster and one of the most powerful figures in the New Zealand #metoo ...2 days ago
- Rather than ‘de-extincting’ species, let’s save the species we have
Analysis: The announcement last week that Colossal Biosciences in the USA had “de-extincted” the dire wolf, which was last seen 13,000 years ago, was reported worldwide.The three wolf pups generated equal parts fascination and widespread scientific criticism. But is this actually de-extinction, and what are the implications for the potential ...2 days ago
- The best TV shows to binge this Easter
We recommend the best – and longest – television series to watch this holiday weekend. As the Easter holiday weekend descends and the weather turns a little grim, many of us will turn to the trusty old television for comfort and entertainment. If you’re lucky, you’ll have some time over ...2 days ago
- Why Kinshasa keeps flooding – and why it’s not just about the rain
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Gode Bola, Lecturer in Hydrology, University of Kinshasa The April 2025 flooding disaster in Kinshasa, the capital of the Democratic Republic of Congo, wasn’t just about intense rainfall. It was a symptom of recent land use change which has occurred rapidly in ...2 days ago
- Grattan on Friday: Peter Dutton’s tax indexation ‘aspiration’ has merit – so why didn’t we...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Michelle Grattan, Professorial Fellow, University of Canberra Peter Dutton, now seriously on the back foot, has made an extraordinarily big “aspirational” commitment at the back end of this campaign. He says he wants to see a move to indexing personal income ...2 days ago
- Keith Rankin Essay – Barbecued Hamburgers and Churchill’s Bestie
Essay by Keith Rankin. Operation Gomorrah may have been the most cynical event of World War Two (WW2). Not only did the name fully convey the intent of the war crimes about to be committed, it, also represented the single biggest 24-hour murder toll for the European war that I ...3 days ago
- Public toilets could be the jewels in our cities’ crowns – if only governments would listen
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Christian Tietz, Senior Lecturer in Industrial Design, UNSW Sydney A New South Wales Senate inquiry into public toilets is underway, looking into the provision, design and maintenance of public toilets across the state. Whenever I mention this inquiry, however, everyone nervously ...3 days ago
- Bad news – why Australia is losing a generation of journalists
Shrinking budgets and job insecurity means there are fewer opportunities for young journalists, and that’s bad news, especially in regional Australia, reports 360info ANALYSIS: By Jee Young Lee of the University of Canberra Australia risks losing a generation of young journalists, particularly in the regions where they face the closure ...3 days ago
Not the face, Not the face
These are not the ‘droids you’re looking for.
Some clowns have tiny bikes, I have a tiny microphone.
Look.
Talk to the hand.
(Cos I don’t give a shit.
Ackshully.)
Monorail! Monorail!
Whos that?
Thank fuck, its just you Garner
.”I was just checking my Blind Trust”
Follow me everyone
I found this Black hole.
“I am not a crook.”
Hey dont shoot the messenger.
Crosby Textor’s who you want.
Ackshully, as I can’t speak English prply, will try Sign Language. Worked for Bob Parker!
PS – no disrespect of NZSL or its users meant: though it was great to see NZ’s third language being used/recognised publicly in the Christchurch disaster press conferences etc.
that’s a nice brand of educative elitism you’re wearing. Do you mind telling me where you bought it?
Probably in a state school in the days before national standards.
Key on Papamoa beach
Five days too late.
Look into my eyes. You are in my power. You love me. You love me. No matter what I say or do. You love me. You love me.
pull my finger, any finger…
Anyone got a magic wand? Anyone? Put it right here…
I mean, money isn’t everything. Think of clouds and daisies, and the lovely smiles on little babies’ faces.
And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles, Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, see if I don’t!”
“Anyone got a working magic wand?”
See folks? Nothing in this hand….nothing up the sleeve….nothing between the ear – BEHIND! – behind the ears! (oh god, help me mum – I MEAN GUYON! …help me Steve, make it end…)
“…and …POOF… The money is gone!”
“…and POOF, I jet off to my mansion in Hawaii and whoever’s left deals with this mess. So that’s the brighter future plan, any questions?”
Put that shoe down!
———————
No it’s not a lie if a lot of people believe it
———————
The Prime Minister demonstrates how the credit downgrade was just a trick of the light
———————
After facing opposition, PM tries to fade into the background
———————
PM realises his hallo has fallen and it’s not showing him in a good light
———————
PM explains to Shane Warne the move he put on Liz Hurley
———————
Key, wanting to get back at Annette King for the scumbag remark, practices the “woman and stairs” move his friend Tony Veitch taught him
———————
Now watch as I make the rest of the economy vanish…
“I have a vision – a grand vision – of my face. On billboards. Everywhere.”
“I did not have sexual relations with that woman”
Abracadabra 170,000 jobs. Abracadabra 170,000 jobs. Abracadabra 170,000 jobs. Abracadabra 170,000 jobs. Abracadabra 170,000 jobs. Abracadabra 170,000 jobs. Abracadabra 170,000 jobs. Abracadabra 170,000 jobs. Abracadabra 170,000 jobs. Abracadabra 170,000 jobs. Abracadabra 170,000 jobs. Abracadabra 170,000 jobs. Abracadabra 170,000 jobs. Abracadabra 170,000 jobs. Abracadabra 170,000 jobs.
so you hold the little oil-caked bird like this and then using this cotton wool bud you begin to gently wipe the feathers…
What are you doing with that crucifix…
“Nothing can stop.. THE CLAW!!!”
*Akshully more like this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6V2ylVXLgcQ
This PM will self destruct before November 26th
Ying Skywalkah, unly now, it the und, do ya realise tha drew poweh of tha Dick Side… Gut ruddy for my sparkly lightning fungutups… any sukund now…
The only thing straight with this man is his tie!
…and when they finally got home and got out of the car…there was a bloody hook hanging from the door handle…ripped from the arm of the psycho stockbroker…
Yeah look I know Im wearing Winstons pinstripe jacket but like Ive said… I wont work with NZ First…Ive just borrowed it cos after visiting Tauranga all my clothes are ruined.
Possum caught in the headlights.
He suddenly remembered he was the PM and it was all a bit much for him.
– As you can tell from the lighting I’m determined to return NZ into the Dark Ages.
– Yes I know its dark but I’ve had a fallout with the mates I sold the power companies to and they cut supply despite the fact its unaffordable anyway.
– Its not Dark Yet…but its getting there. (B. Dylan)
– Despite “enjoying a large lead in the polls” I’m practising in case I lose for a new role as head of Destiny Church.
The Brighter Future looks a bit dark from where I’m standing Johnny Boy.
Why yes, I am a short-fingered vulgarian.
“Sure it looks like I’m trying to do one of those scary torch faces, but is the lighting catching my All Black’s Silver Fern?”
Trust me trust me trust me trust me……………..i am honest John
(repeat above ad infinitum)
Disturbingly lifelike Hollowman skin suit found hanging inside an abandoned Christchurch warehouse.
“Look into my eyes, look into my eyes, not around my eyes, look into my eyes…you now think that you’re better off under National. You think that you have a job. You will tell everyone it’s thanks to me.”
*snap* You’re back in the room.
– Police release photo of man wanted for State Owned Asset robbery.
– PM proves to David Copperfield you can make State Owned Assets disappear.
-” Dont worry about the lights going out NZ… I’ve got container loads of candles coming on the Rena”
No no it’s not a solar eclipse… its just Paula or Gerry moving behind me.
now the peasants have voted me back in for another 3 years there’ll be no more backchat from you f**rs in the media
“Observe me, my dears, how I have ruined the economy and our credit rating with just one clammy hand.”
“Steady on, Bronagh, there’s no need for a crossbow – I didn’t really mean you were a hobbit. I did it to further my career and our trips to Hawai’i.”
Yes, electricity will be more expensive, but see, dark really isn’t that bad…