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Caption contest

Written By: - Date published: 8:18 am, October 5th, 2012 - 59 comments
Categories: caption contest, Minister for Overseas Holidays - Tags:

I love this picture.

First, because of how tone-deaf Key has obviously become that his first tweet from his ‘important job creating trip to meet movie executives’ that everyone is so cynical about is a picture of him hanging out with a TV star – who, I’m pretty sure, doesn’t make decisions on filming locations in blockbuster movies. (Does anyone seriously think movie executives make multi-million filming decisions based on meeting a PM anyway?)

Second, because of how awkward Key looks, arms limp, suit jacket unbuttoned, looking the wrong way, next to a guy who clearly knows how take a good picture.

And what does it say about your place in the world when you go to the movie stars, not the other way around ? Clearly, you’re not very important in the scale of things.

Anyhoo, caption contest.


59 comments on “Caption contest”

  1. toad 1

    Actually, I didn’t really meet Simon Baker. I just got one of my staff to photoshop me in.

  2. toad 2

    GCSB surveillance has revealed that the real identity of Red John is Kim Dotcom.

  3. karol 3

    “Now that I’ve finally found Red John, how do I get him to admit his crimes?”

    PS: I just clicked on those scoop links to JK’s tweets. What a failure as a PM! He just likes schmoozing with the wealthy, famous and powerful.

    • Draco T Bastard 3.1

      I just clicked on those scoop links to JK’s tweets. What a failure as a PM! He just likes schmoozing with the wealthy, famous and powerful.

      His tweets are all about showing how rich and powerful he is to his followers. They have no other value.

  4. Oh God I didn’t even know who Simon Baker was until I looked up the tweeter link. And the Mentalist? I mean: Lying Scumbag meets the Mentalist. I’m sure they could have used that for a plot line!

    Geez, the things you have to do as a TV actor!

  5. Te Reo Putake 5

    One of these men is a mentalist living in a world of greed, crime and lies. The other is an actor.

  6. fustercluck 6

    “Read my mind”
    “I’m drawing a blank”

  7. ” Look at moi “

  8. ” Sh sh dont talk about what is happening at home in nuzlnd,just look like we are
    great mates, hey, why dont you smile,you
    are an actor,aren’t you? i’m john key and i
    own nuzlnd wif me mates.

  9. billbrowne 9

    Hollow man gives wooden performance

  10. ak 10

    Liar Liar star in Mentalist cameo: forgets lines – again!

  11. Merkin 11

    Day / Interior.

    Generic, conventionally handsome American actor
    I know your name is Mr Key, but get out of my key light, you’re casting a shadow over may perfect American features!

    Bland, ex currency trader, self made, twat PM
    Don’t worry ’bout it. This shadow is nothing compared to the one I’m casting over my own country. Sorry, I don’t mean MY country, of course it’s YOUR country. Please come down and wipe your TPP shoes on us. Remember the old film biz saying about us kiwi’s – “Mexicans with cell phones”. I love show biz, especially you beautiful people. It’s unfortunate that behind the scenes there’s ugly, greedy film “industry” workers and actors who want reasonable conditions. Race to the bottom, creative sweat shop that’s what I preach…….. I how depressing. You don’t have any snuff movie shoots I can act in do you? LOL.

    Generic, conventionally handsome American actor
    I’m sorry, is that actually English you’re speaking? Did you bring a translator with you?

  12. Varkk 12

    I think we would be hard pressed to top the one Mr Dotcom apparently posted on his facebook

  13. Kotahi Tāne Huna 13

    Planking fail.

  14. Clashman 14

    Hey, you did those ANZ ads, so your sort of a banker too then. Can we be mates? Please…oh go on…

  15. felix 15

    Mr Bean’s Overseas Holiday

  16. sadly the audition was a disaster and the new remake of the Odd Couple movie has been shelved. key apologised for not reading the script and for never having heard of ‘auditions’, he quiped that normally he just gets tapped on the shoulder.

  17. Jim Nald 17

    Tune in to watch statesmanship being reduced to entertainment.

  18. Blue 18

    “I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking that trying to be cool by being photographed with a popular actor will endear you to the folks back home who’ve just realised that you’re a charlatan. You’re thinking that, failing that, it will at least be another snap to add to your ‘famous people I’ve been photographed with’ scrapbook from your days as PM. You’re thinking how Hawaii is so close you can almost taste it. You can taste it, John. Just give in and feel the pull of golf courses and sunshine, and revel in your minor celebrity status as a former PM of a tiny country at the bottom of the world. We live on Planet Key.”

  19. fabregas4 20

    The Mentalist and the Mental.

  20. shorts 21


    I can’t or don’t understand why JohnKeyPM was tweeting about dinner with Jim Cameron (other than the rather sad look at how cool am am motives – how old is he, 12?)

    “John Key ‏@johnkeypm
    With Director Jim Cameron and Producer Jon Landau, who have hosted dinner for me in LA. pic.twitter.com/DyfvVHTk”

    It’s James as far as I can tell – except on twitter where James tweets as Jim



    I imagine the GCSB briefed him on such matters?

    hope he didn’t start dinner with “Gidday Jim”…. or Hekia Parata might give him a talking to about common courtesy


    its all rather confusing really

    • Lightly 21.1

      it’s to suggest that he is really close friends with Cameron, so knows him by his intimate diminutive – just like Spock called Kirk ‘Jim’

  21. Roy 22

    Kiwi fool meets Aussie cool.

  22. tracey 23

    I thought it was the guy from honey i shrunk the kids… So nearly typed my caption

    Honey, i shrunk the economy, but made friends with celebrities.

    This kind of junket and time wasting by our leader is more than a shame its a slap in the face for all kiwis

  23. Tom Gould 24

    “Having lost his own ability to recall, Key went to an expert to find out what he was thinking.”

  24. Dr Terry 25

    How disengaged the actor looks! Why Key’s vacuous smile – usually that signals another lie coming on!

  25. Tel 26

    Incompetence meets faux investigator… while actor looks on

  26. I can’t wait to tell him about my movie idea ….

    L8r ….
    (*squirmy-leggy-thing*) You probably know this already but ….
    “It all started in a land far far away …….”

  27. Jokerman 28

    Butcher, Baker…

  28. Jokerman 29

    The Kansas City Shuffle/s next to Mr Goodkat
    (The Wrong Man)

  29. Jokerman 30

    I’m in tight with a demon called Deception
    It’s alright he’s a treatin me quite well
    I’m in tight with a demon called Deception
    He’s a right besides me when I fail.

    -Grant Lee Buffalo

    (too easy, John, more creative than a cross word)

    dedicated to Eddie 🙂

  30. Craig Glen Eden 31

    Hi I am Simon Baker an actor who pretends to read peoples minds.

    Hi Im John Key I pretend to be a prime minister and I keep loosing my mind.

  31. Craig Glen Eden 32

    Perhaps someone should introduce Key to the actor off Unforgotten it might help.

  32. Treetop 33

    One of these has the capacity to retain what they read for the next show, the other one does not.
    No wonder Key has had to meet with GCSB 15 times this year because he keeps forgetting why he meets with the GCSB.

  33. tracey 34

    Of all the things i’ve lost i miss my mind the most

  34. willie maley 35

    *smiles* Bollox I hope this guy doesn’t decide to live in NZ and then get caught up in some sort of scandal, nobody will believe it when I deny all knowledge of his existence. *smiles*

    • Must remember to ask about that “Amnesia Syrum In the Water supply” gambit. *smiles*
      Bloody worked for me *smiles*
      What’d they say again not more than once a month? …. or was it once a day?
      Can you read bud, *holds-up-medicinal-bottle* …. what are the warnings again?

  35. her 36

    Who is the mentalist?

  36. And…. the subject of Dotcom was raised “in passing” at the dinner party John Landau and James (Jim for John) Cameron threw for John Key.

    Here is my version of how it went

  37. Armchair Critic 38

    “Pleased to meet you, I’d shake your hand, but Richie McCaw isn’t here.”

  38. Policy Parrot 39

    They’re thinking the same way. We live your world. ANZ.

  39. The Woodpecker 40

    Your thinking.. if you had been sucessfull getting Kim Dotcom extradited you would be standing next to Tom Cruise instead of me.

  40. tc 41

    Yeah I know, awkward eh but the folks back home lap up any shit I get up to, thanks mate you were oarsum in doctor who.

  41. captain hook 42

    the Menatalist: “who is this guy?”

  42. irascible 43

    “Is this a cardboard cutout of a suit I see beside me?”

  43. Wolfslair 44

    “So ah John is this your first psychosis? I didn’t realize you kiwis were so far behind the times.”

  44. rod 45

    Sorry, what’s your name again? my memory is not too good.

  45. Phil 46

    Du yu think this suit fits me properly? Wut about the arms, bit short yu thunk?
    Wut about the tie? Goes with the suit?
    Wut if I keep the smile goin? Wutcha think eh?
    Please be my friend, I’ve got no friends, I forgot thim all……..
    Can I hive a job soon?

  46. fender 47

    I’ll be standing at attention plenty on this trip to Hollywood, hope I don’t lose the memory stick.

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