Caption Contest

Written By: - Date published: 12:49 pm, November 23rd, 2012 - 82 comments
Categories: accountability, caption contest, david shearer, leadership - Tags:

82 comments on “Caption Contest”

  1. MikeD 1

    Ah.. um… ahh… well… the … ahh…

  2. bobo 2

    “You looking at me? I said are you looking at me ! “

  3. Treetop 3

    It has been such a l o n g week. TGIF.

  4. “Damn,did i get it all wrong 91″
    ‘Yes,Max, you did”

  5. Jimmie 5

    Is it me or does Shearer have an uncanny resemblance to Rodney Hide? (With a little extra hair of course and a few more wrinkles)

  6. McFlock 6

    “Call me ‘too nice’ now, motherfucker! I dare you – no, I double dare you!”

  7. One Tāne Huna 7

    I was talking to a constituent of mine the other day, and he tells me that David Cunliffe has been painting his roof. He said it wan’t fair and I agreed.

  8. McFlock 8

    “I don’t know what the fuck that is, but it sure looks like something I just scraped off my front bench”

  9. PlanetOrphan 9

    Where’s my magnifying glass ?, I’ve got a “White Ant” to burn 😈
    Gower get over here M8!

  10. Matthew 10

    “Give me wodka, i want to appear socialist”

  11. oscar 11

    I learned this look from the best warlord of Mogadishu… bitch!

  12. McFlock 12

    “I have had enough of these motherfucking snakes in this motherfucking caucus!”

  13. BlueSilver 13

    Why do I keep hearing John Key’s distant laugh ringing in my ears?

  14. Craig Glen Eden 14

    Read my lips, I play the meanest guitar and I write the song cos Im the leader I will always be the leader and I expect you all to pledge your allegiance for as long as you shall live.

  15. weka 15

    I hope those bastards at the Standard don’t find out I’ve got some darkened curtains and a computer screen of my own.

  16. Chalupa Batman 16

    “So David what is best in life?”

    “Crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women”

  17. BM 17

    I’m going to tear you a new arsehole Cunliffe.

  18. Te Reo Putake 18

    David Shearer reads a blog for the first time.

    Jeez, Trevor, who let Lynn Prentice into my conference?

    I can understand Cunliffe’s cheezy grin, but why is Robertson so cheerful?

    Whaddya mean we have no mango skins? How the heck are we going to end poverty then?

    Oi, you, get down off that roof, one of us could get hurt.

    If I try to look like Tony Soprano, do you think Cunliffe will back off?

  19. KhandallaMan 19

    Sh*t, why did I embellish my CV that much?  They believed all the war zone hero crap! Robertson is the only one who knows….I think. Mmmmmmm..should I trust him?

  20. Sunny 20

    The Mr Magoo of speaking ponders his next sound bite.

  21. Mikesh 21

    Hmmm … … … Can’t send the blighter to the Siberian salt mines. I wonder if Stewart Island would be far enough.

  22. Tom Gould 22

    Why is Cunliffe constantly posing, waving into the middle distance, again, like he knows someone in the crowd? Something Brian Edwards suggested he do, I guess?

  23. crashcart 23

    “If I look reeeeaaaaaaaly serious maybe people will take me seriously”

  24. Ant 24

    prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrtttt ……………. pfrrrrt … pfrrt

  25. Rogue Trooper 25

    Committee man keeps his enemies close

  26. fender 26

    Everybody (even Key) is calling me a “nice guy”. I might sound a little simple but I’m not, and I can read between the lines and realise nice guys finish last. I’ll show them I’m as batshit crazy as an Act Party candidate and do some irrational crazy shit wearing this demonic face that even Anthony Dixon couldn’t have done better.

    You WILL dance to my tune or else I’ll smash this guitar over your head.

  27. alex 27

    I think I should grow a beard.

    • Rhinocrates 27.1

      Time for a geek joke. Star Trek: The Next Generation was regarded as pants by Trekkies until Jonathan Frakes (playing 2nd in command Riker), grew a beard. Now “growing a beard” is their shorthand for finally getting your shit together – the opposite of “jumping the shark”.

  28. Mogadishu was never like this.

  29. Populuxe1 29

    Bring me Cunliffe’s heart in this box

  30. Who’s the best man in the front bench now

  31. Luc Hansen 31

    Do you feel lucky, punk?

  32. Tangled up in blue 32

    “Three more months boys, three more months.”

  33. Colonial Viper 33

    ROAR! See, I am the strong man of Labour!

  34. Populuxe1 34

    Mirror, Mirror, on the wall,
    Who is the anointed leader of the Labour Party after all? 

  35. Foreign Waka 35

    Focus, focus, focus, hold still……

  36. Roflcopter 36

    “That’s weird… it feels like there’s something stuck in my back”

  37. calltoaccount 37

    See my forehead? Guess where it’s going…

  38. Clashman 38

    Hi I’m John….no David my er name is er Dave um David.

  39. fustercluck 39

    Looking to the Left. With obvious distaste and suspicion.

  40. PlanetOrphan 40

    Caption contest on “The Standard” ? ya say …. yeah sure M8, any publicity etc (*wink*)
    OK how’s this look? …..
    Do you see a “Leader”?

  41. Rhinocrates 41

    Cunlife… smirking all the time…bastard. I’ll get him. Got to make a show of my authority. Robertson… smirking a lot too… don’t like him. Bastard. I’ll deal to him too. What’s Hipkins doing on telly? Hogging the limelight, that’s what. Bastard. I’ll get him next. Make a show of it. King? Been around, knows too much. Get her. Goff… clearly thinking of a comeback. Bastard. I’ll get him too. Mallard, now him… been there all the time, undermining everyone… I’ll get him. Bastard. Now about Shearer? Who’s that guy? Can’t pin him down. Doesn’t seem to believe in anything. clearly incompetent too – and paranoid. I’ll get him too. Bastard.

  42. Tim G. 42

    Jeez, I sure hope Hooten’s having another BBQ this summer, I could use some more advice.

  43. ‘Make my day Cunliffe,go on, vote for the 40/40/20 split,i dare you’

  44. Dr Terry 44

    I am in great fear – have I gagged everybody?

  45. Mary 45

    Okay, you’ve got me. It started out as a simple prank that got out of control – I really am Wayne Rooney posing as a Labour MP. It’s not my fault you fell for it and made me leader.

  46. geo 46

    “read my lips”

  47. mike e 47

    That fing little weasal gower

  48. Blue 48

    Take me to your leader.

  49. mac1 49

    “Am C D F
    Am C E7 E7
    Am C D F
    Am E7 Am”

  50. jaymam 50

    Do I look like a smiling assassin?

  51. RedBaron 51

    Loser

  52. Vicky32 52

    I see the babies are playing blogosphere again! 🙂
     
    (Not QoT’s this, is it? Or she’ll jump on me with her size 15 Doc Martins, and flatten me but good.) 😀

    • QoT 52.1

      Vicky, you’ll go far in life if you learn how to fucking read.

      Right up there? Under the big bold letters at the top of the post? It says “By: THE SPROUT”.

      This is how you and all the other Standard readers can tell who has made a particular post.

      I’m sorry I’m talking to you like you’re stupid, but the alternative explanation is that once again you just couldn’t help but make a pathetic dig at me for no actual reason, in a thread I’m not even involved in, because you have a truly infantile vendetta against me. So I figured “stupid” was the best conclusion to come to.

      • Vicky32 52.1.1

        but the alternative explanation is that once again you just couldn’t help but make a pathetic dig at me for no actual reason, in a thread I’m not even involved in, because you have a truly infantile vendetta against me.

        Sorry, I couldn’t resist! 🙂
        To misquote Alexei Sayle, “I prick pretension, but QoT is a pretentious prick”..

        • fender 52.1.1.1

          Seek help from a medical professional, you have an unhealthy obsession.

          • Vicky32 52.1.1.1.1

            Seek help from a medical professional, you have an unhealthy obsession.

            If you mean me. then get a sense of humour! Do you know what the crazy woman said and did the other day? That deserves me poking at her sense of self-importance a bit, hey?

  53. jaymam 53

    Oh all politicians look alike after they’ve been a leader for a while:
    http://i50.tinypic.com/2ev9kia.jpg

  54. xtasy 54

    THIS is NOT a LEADER, he is a “roof-painter’s enemy”!

  55. Ant 55

    ROOF SHOUT

  56. fender 56

    I can burn your portfolio just by staring real hard like this, but please don’t make me do it too often, ‘cos as you can see it makes my skin go all blotchy.

  57. Jim Nald 57

    ” If I am the answer for leading the Labour Party going into the general elections of 2014, what is the question ? “

  58. Saarbo 58

    Well um , I guess I seem to look OK, and ahh, my back story is strong but…… I don’t have any substance and wont really be any good for your long term well being…..”HONEY PUFFS!”

  59. newsense 59

    oho- Spidey sense- the Standard is running a caption contest on me this time! Success! Only 723 to catch Johnny boy…

  60. Ben 60

    Mogadishu, I lost a platoon of men there. They were ambushed and before I could say f…f…f…f…f…f…fire it was all over.

  61. CG 61

    Look!…I am left leaning!

  62. Binders full of women 62

    At least I’m not called a “top of the bus Herne Bay wigger” Nat Radio Sunday am.

  63. Ben 63

    I’ve sorted out Cunliffe, Mangogan style.

  64. Chooky 64

    Hmmmm…..I thought I heard Matthew Hooton say I was Leader of the National Party….Is Matthew going mad?….. or was I just hearing things ?

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • Housing report earns Nats the red card
    National’s failure to acknowledge and fix the housing crisis will be their legacy. Labour will tackle the housing crisis head-on, says Labour Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford. ...
    3 days ago
  • Sluggish growth reflects nine years of drift from National
    Today’s GDP figures reflect an economy that the National Government has allowed to drift along on the basis of growing population rather than improving productivity and adding value, says Labour’s Finance spokesperson Grant Robertson. “It is important to recognise that ...
    3 days ago
  • National’s campaign of deception an affront to democracy
    Voters this week have a clear choice between Labour’s optimism and honesty, or rewarding National’s campaign of relentless lies, says Labour’s Finance spokesperson Grant Robertson. “Day after day National has been deliberately spreading lies about Labour, our intentions and what ...
    4 days ago
  • National’s economy scorecard: D for drift
    New Zealand’s economy is failing the very people it is supposed to uplift, characterised by stalled productivity, exports going backwards and a Government content to let it drift, says Leader of the Opposition Jacinda Ardern. “Voters have a clear choice ...
    4 days ago
  • Another day – another health crisis
    News today that the emergency department at Waikato has turned 180 patients away is another crisis for the Government and its besieged health system, says Labour’s Health spokesperson David Clark. “It’s astonishing that the Government has had to rely on ...
    4 days ago
  • Labour will get tough on loan sharks
      Labour will take a tough stance on loan sharks and make sure that the Commerce Commission is properly resourced to protect Kiwi consumers, says Labour’s Consumer Affairs spokesperson Michael Wood.   “People on low incomes must be protected from ...
    4 days ago
  • GP letter more evidence of failure in mental health
      A letter of complaint by medical practitioners to the Ministry of Health and Capital and Coast District Health Board underlines how badly patients are being let down by mental health services in Wellington, says Labour Leader Jacinda Ardern.  “The ...
    5 days ago
  • GP letter more evidence of failure in mental health
      A letter of complaint by medical practitioners to the Ministry of Health and Capital and Coast District Health Board underlines how badly patients are being let down by mental health services in Wellington, says Labour Leader Jacinda Ardern.  “The ...
    5 days ago
  • Tax cuts when kids go hungry shows National’s lack of moral compass
    National’s campaign of tax cuts that give $400 million to the top 10 per cent of earners, at a time when 120 Kiwi kids every year are being hospitalised for malnutrition, shows they have lost their moral compass, says Labour’s ...
    5 days ago
  • Freight being shifted off planes as fuel crisis worsens
    Export freight is being shifted off flights because of the Government’s failure to manage the risk of disruption to jet fuel supplies, says Labour’s Economic Development spokesperson Stuart Nash. “It has been revealed to Labour that non-perishable export freight is ...
    5 days ago
  • Apologise now Jonathan
    Health Minister Jonathan Coleman must apologise for his part in a $2.3 billion shortfall that has contributed to delays in cancer diagnosis and treatment, says Labour’s Health spokesperson David Clark. “All the Minister could say in an interview this morning ...
    5 days ago
  • National’s health report card shows need for new plan
    From increased GP fees, to kids getting sick from cold homes, to denial of important surgeries, National’s underfunding of health has hurt Kiwi families, says Leader of the Opposition Jacinda Ardern.   “It’s time to invest in the health of ...
    5 days ago
  • Eye clinic wait downright dangerous
    The fact that 9,500 Kiwis are waiting one and a half times longer than they should to get follow-up eye appointments is unacceptable and dangerous, says Labour’s Health Spokesperson David Clark. “These people are entitled to the reassurance that if ...
    5 days ago
  • National has serious questions to answer over Auckland fuel crisis
    Thousands of air travellers looking for answers to Auckland Airport’s fuel crisis should be demanding the National Government come clean over its failure to secure fuel supply for the airport, says Labour Leader Jacinda Ardern.  “There are serious questions the ...
    6 days ago
  • Come clean on trade before the election
    In the two days before the election, New Zealand MFAT negotiators will attend a negotiations meeting in Japan on the successor to the failed Trans-Pacific Partnership Agreement (TPPA), now called the TPP-11. The negotiations are shrouded in secrecy but we ...
    GreensBy Barry Coates
    1 week ago
  • National unravels on transport
    The release of extraordinary information showing that the East-West link could be the most expensive road in the world, at $327 million per kilometre, shows that National is fiscally reckless and out of ideas on transport, says Labour’s Transport spokesperson ...
    1 week ago
  • Saudi cover-up a perversion of democracy
    The Government has been exposed as dishonest after it was revealed that  they were wrong to claim they paid out $11 million dollars to a Saudi businessmen after legal advice, says Labour’s Foreign Affairs spokesperson David Parker.  “OIAs revealed on ...
    1 week ago
  • Labour supporting Te Reo Māori in schools
    Labour will support a future where New Zealanders from every background will have the ability to use Te Reo Māori in everyday conversations, says Labour’s Deputy Leader and Māori Development spokesperson Kelvin Davis. “Labour will commit to a target that ...
    1 week ago
  • Is National planning a secret fuel tax?
    Sources suggest National is considering a secret fuel tax to fund its controversial Roads of National Significance (RONS) programme, says Labour’s Transport spokesperson Michael Wood. “While the Government keeps up its stream of lies about Labour’s tax policy, sources indicate ...
    1 week ago
  • Labour’s plan for West Coast prosperity
    Labour’s regional development plan for the West Coast will build on its strengths in engineering and tourism, while delivering a much-needed upgrade to the Buller Hospital, says Labour Leader Jacinda Ardern.  “Labour’s vision is for a thriving regional New Zealand, ...
    1 week ago
  • Labour committed to fair and progressive tax system
    Labour is committed to a tax system where everyone pays their fair share and where we start to address the imbalances that have fuelled the housing crisis, says Labour’s Finance spokesperson Grant Robertson and Labour’s Revenue spokesperson Michael Wood. "Today ...
    1 week ago
  • A challenge to Bill English
    ...
    1 week ago
  • Flavell’s fake news an insult to Māori voters
    A desperate Te Ururoa Flavell has resorted to fake news about Labour’s position on his unpopular Ture Whenua reforms, says Labour’s Ikaroa-Rawhiti MP Meka Whaitiri. ...
    2 weeks ago
  • National’s tax cuts reckless and irresponsible
    It is time for Bill English and Steven Joyce to stop the scaremongering and lies, and front up to New Zealanders about the impact of their tax cuts, Labour’s Finance spokesperson Grant Robertson says. “Bill English has no credibility on ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Calculator shows Labour’s Families Package delivers
    Labour has launched a new online calculator that show how much extra families with kids will get from Labour’s Families Package, says Leader of the Opposition Jacinda Ardern. “Families can go to www.labour.org.nz/calculator and see how much better off they ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Strengthening New Zealand’s identity through Labour’s media and film policy
    Labour has today launched its media and film policy aimed at strengthening New Zealand’s identity and providing sustainability for the industry, says Leader of the Opposition Jacinda Ardern. ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Labour to invest in parents and babies
    Labour will fund an additional 100 Plunket and Tamariki Ora nurses to increase the help available for vulnerable parents and babies, says Leader of the Opposition Jacinda Ardern. “It’s so important that our children get the best start in life. ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Labour to build affordable homes and state houses in Hawke’s Bay
    Labour will build a mix of 240 affordable KiwiBuild starter homes for first home buyers and state homes for families in need in Napier and Hastings, says Leader of the Opposition Jacinda Ardern. “In 2016, the populations of Napier and ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Labour pledges more for Whānau Ora
    Labour will strengthen the oversight of Whānau Ora and provide an extra $20 million over four years to improve outcomes for whānau and families, says Labour’s Deputy Leader Kelvin Davis.    “We’ve created a new position of Whānau Ora Reviewer ...
    2 weeks ago
  • National’s housing band aid
    Throwing subsidies at an under-supplied housing market is one last desperate bid by National to be seen to do something about the housing crisis, says Labour’s Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford.  “First home buyers have been the collateral damage of National’s ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Housing, families, education and environment top priorities in Labour’s first 100 days
    Labour will take urgent action in its first 100 days in office to expand support for families and students, make rental homes warm and dry, find solutions to the mental health crisis and accelerate efforts to clean up our waterways, ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Labour pledges to unlock funding for Te Hiku sports hub project
    The Labour Government will inject nearly $3 million into the Te Hiku Sports Hub project, to help realise a much-needed health and recreational facility for the Far North, says Labour Deputy Leader and MP for Te Tai Tokerau Kelvin Davis. ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Labour’s plan to get job seekers into better work
    Labour will provide real support for people looking for work by increasing the amount of money someone can earn before their benefit begins to reduce, reinstating training incentives, and putting a renewed focus on upskilling and training, says Labour’s Social ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Labour sets strong target and plan for climate action
    Labour will set a target of net zero carbon emissions by 2050 and take the necessary steps to achieve it, says Leader of the Opposition Jacinda Ardern.  “Climate change is my generation’s nuclear-free moment. We have to take our place ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Are education cuts missing in National’s Fiscal Plan?
    National needs to explain why its plans for cuts to school transport have not been announced in its fiscal plan, says Labour’s Education spokesperson Chris Hipkins.   “Buried in the Pre-election Budget update is a $5m a year cut to ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Joyce must come clean on Health and Education funding
    Steven Joyce needs to front up to New Zealanders and tell them whether he will fund health and education to meet increasing cost pressures, or risk seeing services cut and costs increase for parents, says Labour’s Finance spokesperson Grant Robertson.  ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Housing crisis is National’s legacy
    Reports of tenants languishing in boarding houses for years because they cannot get a state house is yet more evidence National’s legacy is the housing crisis, says Labour’s Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford.  “We used to pride ourselves in this country ...
    3 weeks ago
  • Labour calls for release of report into civil defence flaws
    The National Government must stick by its word given to other political parties and release a technical report before the election addressing critical flaws in New Zealand’s civil defence capability, Labour Civil Defence spokesperson Clare Curran said today.  “Cross party ...
    3 weeks ago
  • Credibility shot as Government runs out of steam
    New Zealanders are witnessing the desperation of a government clinging to survival, evidenced by policy on-the-hoof, dodgy maths and dirty politics, says Labour MP Phil Twyford. “New Zealand had been hoping we’d seen the end of dirty politics, but what ...
    3 weeks ago
  • Steven Joyce must apologise to New Zealand
    Steven Joyce needs to front up to New Zealanders and apologise for his patently false and cynical attack on Labour’s Fiscal Plan, says Labour’s Finance spokesperson Grant Robertson. “Every respected economic commentator has come out and said that Labour’s Fiscal ...
    3 weeks ago
  • Bill English didn’t answer because the Oreti is badly polluted
    Last night Bill English was asked by Paddy Gower in the Leader’s Debate: “Which river did he swim in as a kid, and is it now polluted?” Bill English named the Oreti River, but did not answer whether it is ...
    3 weeks ago
  • Nats put out dodgy numbers – again
    National’s promise to increase the number of elective surgeries to 200,000 is bizarre, given Jonathan Coleman has claimed 200,000 electives are already being performed, says Labour’s Health spokesperson David Clark. ...
    3 weeks ago
  • Prime Minister’s Award to encourage young people into trades training
    Labour will introduce a $2,000 award for the best pupil in vocational courses in each public secondary school, says Leader of the Opposition Jacinda Ardern. “We know there’s huge demand for trades workers, particularly in the building sector, where construction ...
    3 weeks ago
  • Not another Nick Smith wild goose chase
    Only the election on September 23 can save the country and the RMA from Nick Smith, say Labour’s Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford and Environment spokesperson David Parker. ...
    3 weeks ago
  • Government supresses Climate Change report
    The Government has deliberately sat on a critical Climate Change report for 5 months which they must now release, election or no election, says Labour’s Climate Change spokesperson Megan Woods.  “I want the report released immediately, so that New Zealanders ...
    3 weeks ago
  • Joyce gets it wrong on Labour’s Fiscal Plan
    Labour’s Fiscal Plan is robust, the numbers are correct and we stand by them despite the desperate and disingenuous digging from an out-the-door Finance Minister, says Labour’s Finance spokesperson Grant Robertson. “Steven Joyce has embarrassed himself. This is a desperate, ...
    3 weeks ago