web analytics

Caption contest

Written By: - Date published: 5:16 pm, December 10th, 2012 - 36 comments
Categories: caption contest, Judith Collins - Tags: ,

This one almost captions itself!

36 comments on “Caption contest ”

  1. One Tāne Viper 1

    Vacuous incompetent poses unconvincingly for camera.

  2. mike 2

    Leaked photo from secret National caucus Satan summoning.

  3. mike 3

    Man makes effective horror film with just one photograph.

  4. bobo 4

    “Hello Clarice…”

  5. bobo 5

    TVNZ introduces “Tory Kitchen Nightmares” in which MP Judith Collins is not invited (but goes anyway) by the owners to spend a week with a thriving restaurant in an attempt to ruin the business.

  6. Akldnut - ASP 6

    There you go – I’ve saved you the trouble

  7. Conor 7

    Garlic Crusher Collins.

  8. Akldnut - ASP 8

    Newsbreak: A Mad Cow has just broken out of the shed….. last seen wearing an apron….. anyone seeing this mad beast is urged to take great care. (Mugshot supplied)

  9. karol 9

    No denying times is hard, sir!
    Even harder than the worst pies in Nat-land.
    Only lard and nothing more-
    Is that just revolting?
    All greasy and gritty?
    It looks like it’s molting!
    And tastes like…well pity.
    A woman alone…with limited wind
    And the worst pies in Nat-land!
    -[with apologies to Sweeney Todd]

  10. xtasy 10

    Welcome to my barbie, sweety.

    Would you like grilled bull’s testicles or leader’s testicles with chips?

    There’s a beer besides John’s famous Tui board to grab as well.

    Have a good time!

  11. felixviper 11

    Some of the most exciting bio-tech work is in the field of “intelli-fabrics”. This garment, called the “Freudian Slip”, contains bio sensors to “read” the wearer’s thoughts and display them dynamically as a word cloud.

  12. IrishBill 12

    And that was the last anyone ever saw of Steven Joyce.

  13. NoseViper (The Nose knows) 13

    felixviper
    Brilliant.
    or
    I don’t mind dropping my sweetness mask for a short while. It just shows that I can wear whatever abuse that may be thrown at me and still come up smiling. I think all the put-downs the crowd knows are on there, they haven’t enough imagination for Abuse 202..

  14. geoff 14

    Argh that picture is too large and too collinsy

  15. I was told UFO’s and big rigs were coming from outer space, stopping off at beehive looking for some food to eat. I didn’t want to disappoint them

  16. fender/same sentiment less eloquent Viper 16

    This is a good photo of me, the lighting is good as it highlights my forehead implants. However my blouse is being sued for defamation by grannys curtains.

  17. Skinny 17

    Walking proof “you can’t make/bake/fake a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.” literally!

  18. fender/same sentiment less eloquent Viper 18

    After debilitating Key with her taser the Mad Cow prepares “Dear Leader Boil-up” while wearing his favourite “gay shirt”.

    It’s out with the “Smiling Assassin” and in with the “Maddest Butcher”.

  19. Skinny 19

    Cut “umm Mrs Piggy Collins… make room for the frog… Kermit Joyce… he has a new snake oil recipe for the gullible New Zealand public.”

  20. “Judas…..my precious…..”

  21. Huginn all God's Vipers 21

    No caption needed. Just print it out and send it to John Key as a Christmas card.

  22. CnrJoe 22

    has she been butchering…flowers..?

  23. post-colonial viper 23

    Underneath this portable word cloud, I’m an emotional pink and white – a bit like chromatophores on a squid. Crusher Collins ? That was yesterday. Vote for me at the leadership spill and the snap election for an aotearoan republic.

    The serfs would never guess.

    I love confronting journalistic cliches. Quiche, anyone ? Squid pie ?

    Anyway,

    .. what’s a nice girl like me doing in a place like this ?

  24. marsman 24

    ‘bullshit pie anyone?’

  25. David Viperious H 25

    See I can be one of the boy’s, just like John. Yuk how do they drink that Beer stuff.

  26. post-colonial viper 26

    This image was originally captioned as

    “The ACC’s new cowshed safety apron. I’ve told them to get a woman farmers one next.”

    Source: Twitter feed on top left of photo, above.

  27. aerobubble 27

    Moral of the story, don’t walk in on your dead family, as all you will see is my smiling face.

  28. Tracey 28

    … and that’s just my breakfast

  29. post-colonial viper 29

    Independence of the judiciary ? Uneconomic. I have Canadian judges for breakfast. Now, what was that small matter about Erebus ?

  30. fender Viper 30

    While I’m pleased my blouse wont get covered in my dribble, I don’t agree with what is printed on my new apron. NO! close your eyes I’m not letting you read it.

  31. Pakeha-Jaffa 31

    It’s all white meat now

  32. Canuck Vipers for Justice 32

    I’m negotiating pork belly futures prices with my friend Miss Piggy ..

  33. Bowels in or bowels out?

  34. ANDRE 34

    I am here to serve the public… but my friends will be served first….

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • Twenty highlights of 2020
    As we welcome in the new year, our focus is on continuing to keep New Zealanders safe and moving forward with our economic recovery. There’s a lot to get on with, but before we say a final goodbye to 2020, here’s a quick look back at some of the milestones ...
    3 weeks ago

  • Bay Cadets learn skills to protect environment
    Bay Conservation Cadets launched with first intake Supported with $3.5 million grant Part of $1.245b Jobs for Nature programme to accelerate recover from Covid Cadets will learn skills to protect and enhance environment Environment Minister David Parker today welcomed the first intake of cadets at the launch of the Bay ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    8 hours ago
  • Cook Islanders to resume travel to New Zealand
    The Prime Minister of New Zealand Jacinda Ardern and the Prime Minister of the Cook Islands Mark Brown have announced passengers from the Cook Islands can resume quarantine-free travel into New Zealand from 21 January, enabling access to essential services such as health. “Following confirmation of the Cook Islands’ COVID ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Supporting communities and landowners to grow employment opportunities
    Jobs for Nature funding is being made available to conservation groups and landowners to employ staff and contractors in a move aimed at boosting local biodiversity-focused projects, Conservation Minister Kiritapu Allan has announced. It is estimated some 400-plus jobs will be created with employment opportunities in ecology, restoration, trapping, ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Border exception for some returning international tertiary students
    The Government has approved an exception class for 1000 international tertiary students, degree level and above, who began their study in New Zealand but were caught offshore when border restrictions began. The exception will allow students to return to New Zealand in stages from April 2021. “Our top priority continues ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Tiwai deal gives time for managed transition
    Today’s deal between Meridian and Rio Tinto for the Tiwai smelter to remain open another four years provides time for a managed transition for Southland. “The deal provides welcome certainty to the Southland community by protecting jobs and incomes as the region plans for the future. The Government is committed ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • New member for APEC Business Advisory Council
    Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern has appointed Anna Curzon to the APEC Business Advisory Council (ABAC). The leader of each APEC economy appoints three private sector representatives to ABAC. ABAC provides advice to leaders annually on business priorities. “ABAC helps ensure that APEC’s work programme is informed by business community perspectives ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Govt’s careful economic management recognised
    The Government’s prudent fiscal management and strong policy programme in the face of the COVID-19 global pandemic have been acknowledged by the credit rating agency Fitch. Fitch has today affirmed New Zealand’s local currency rating at AA+ with a stable outlook and foreign currency rating at AA with a positive ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Additional actions to keep COVID-19 out of NZ
    The Government is putting in place a suite of additional actions to protect New Zealand from COVID-19, including new emerging variants, COVID-19 Response Minister Chris Hipkins said today. “Given the high rates of infection in many countries and evidence of the global spread of more transmissible variants, it’s clear that ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • 19 projects will clean up and protect waterways
    $36 million of Government funding alongside councils and others for 19 projects Investment will clean up and protect waterways and create local jobs Boots on the ground expected in Q2 of 2021 Funding part of the Jobs for Nature policy package A package of 19 projects will help clean up ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • New Zealand Government acknowledges 175th anniversary of Battle of Ruapekapeka
    The commemoration of the 175th anniversary of the Battle of Ruapekapeka represents an opportunity for all New Zealanders to reflect on the role these conflicts have had in creating our modern nation, says Associate Minister for Arts, Culture and Heritage Kiri Allan. “The Battle at Te Ruapekapeka Pā, which took ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Better care for babies with tongue-tie
    Babies born with tongue-tie will be assessed and treated consistently under new guidelines released by the Ministry of Health, Associate Minister of Health Dr Ayesha Verrall announced today. Around 5% to 10% of babies are born with a tongue-tie, or ankyloglossia, in New Zealand each year. At least half can ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Prisoner disorder event at Waikeria Prison over
    The prisoner disorder event at Waikeria Prison is over, with all remaining prisoners now safely and securely detained, Corrections Minister Kelvin Davis says. The majority of those involved in the event are members of the Mongols and Comancheros. Five of the men are deportees from Australia, with three subject to ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Pre-departure COVID-19 test for travellers from the UK and the US from 15 January
    Travellers from the United Kingdom or the United States bound for New Zealand will be required to get a negative test result for COVID-19 before departing, and work is underway to extend the requirement to other long haul flights to New Zealand, COVID-19 Response Minister Chris Hipkins confirmed today. “The new PCR test requirement, foreshadowed last ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • PM congratulates New Year Honour recipients
    Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern has added her warm congratulations to the New Zealanders recognised for their contributions to their communities and the country in the New Year 2021 Honours List. “The past year has been one that few of us could have imagined. In spite of all the things that ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago
  • David Parker congratulates New Year 2021 Honours recipients
    Attorney-General and Minister for the Environment David Parker has congratulated two retired judges who have had their contributions to the country and their communities recognised in the New Year 2021 Honours list. The Hon Tony Randerson QC has been appointed a Companion of the New Zealand Order of Merit for ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago
  • New Year’s Honours highlights outstanding Pacific leadership through challenging year
    Minister for Pacific Peoples Aupito William Sio says the New Year’s Honours List 2021 highlights again the outstanding contribution made by Pacific people across Aotearoa. “We are acknowledging the work of 13 Pacific leaders in the New Year’s Honours, representing a number of sectors including health, education, community, sports, the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago
  • Supporting seniors to embrace technology
    The Government’s investment in digital literacy training for seniors has led to more than 250 people participating so far, helping them stay connected. “COVID-19 has meant older New Zealanders are showing more interest in learning how to use technology like Zoom and Skype so they can to keep in touch ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago