web analytics

Caption contest

Written By: - Date published: 2:10 pm, January 24th, 2014 - 64 comments
Categories: caption contest, election 2014 - Tags:

Key’s office yesterday released another of their Dear-Leader graphics, this one featuring an “inspirational” quote on education.  Here’s a blank version for you to add your own.

key-school-blank

 

It will be hard to beat this contribution (via Twitter) from Mike Kilpatrick:

key-school

64 comments on “Caption contest ”

  1. Hayden 1

    To borrow from Marty McFly:

    [You’d] better get used to these bars, kids.

    • Hayden 1.1

      Or to go the other way:

      You’re going to want something like this outside your subdivision by the time I’m finished.

  2. Enough is Enough 2

    Welcome to your worst nightmare

    Three more Year of Me

  3. Chooky 3

    “No thanks!….You are too old and ugly!”

  4. One Anonymous Knucklehead 4

    “Vote for me, we’re always looking for people in uniform who can hold a gate open.”

  5. Mainlander 5

    A politician that actually relates to people of all ages, a rare thing indeed

  6. geoff 6

    “Why are you smiling, there’s no bright future for you”

  7. Papa Tuanuku 7

    Bye dad, don’t forget to take your meds.

  8. Shrubbery 8

    Remember for when you grow up – always lock the gate behind you.

  9. Te Reo Putake 9

    Keep him talking, Kylie, security’s on the way.

  10. key:..

    ‘are you with me..?..or agin me..?’..

    phillip ure..

  11. key:..

    ..’have you seen blips’ list of my mincie-pies..?

    ..i’m so naughty..!..

    ..eh..?’

    phillip ure..

  12. key:

    ..’i never got to be a teenager..

    ..’cos i was raised in a state house..

    ..didn’tyaknow..?’

    phillip ure..

  13. key:

    “and then i said..then i said..to obama..’oh yeah..!..hahaha..!..

    ..we txt each other..!..

    ..didn’tyaknow..?..”

    phillip ure..

  14. key:..

    “..can you smell the oil and coal on my breath..?

    ..gotta mint..?..”

    phillip ure..

  15. key:..

    ‘no..!..it’s not true i’m a shape-shifting lizard..

    ..that’s just a green party rumour..!’

    ..phillip ure..

  16. key:..

    “..that way lies communism..!..”

    phillip ure..

  17. McFlock 17

    Our Glorious Leader maintains blokesy demeanour while escorting school fundraisers off his property – his entourage were responding to a “credible” security threat in the swimming pool of his Hawaiian residence.

  18. Skinny 18

    Male student: Hey Mr Key we are studying economics, the MSM are calling our economy a Rock Star economy.

    Key: Actually it’s true, you’ll do well at Crosby/Textor talking like that son.

    Female student: But Mr Key Standard & Poors have just down graded our rating… Ha ha that must make it a ‘Pop’ Star economy?

    Key: Young lady I better introduce you to Paula Bennett she will tell you of her early life..you sound like your heading that way.

  19. irascible 19

    “OK kids, we’ve finished the photo shoot. Make sure you return those uniforms to the Costume Hire shop” (THINKS ). Let’s all hope no one twigs that we had to do this photo using my gate as a school entrance during the school holidays.”

  20. risildowgtn 20

    Would you like a lolly

  21. aerobubble 21

    How did you get to be PM?

    Well I made the poor know they were poorer, the rich think they were richer and the middle look the other way.

  22. fender 22

    Oh I’m just eyeing up the property, can’t help but think it’s a waste of land use and could be better utilised by a mansion or two.

  23. Chooky 23

    I will give you a lolly if you don’t vote for Dotcom

  24. kousei 24

    Who knows what kind of world your children will inherit, long as we are right eh?

  25. ianmac 25

    “Don’t you kids know who I am?”

  26. key:..

    ‘are you on facebook..?

    ..i’m on facebook..’..

    phillip ure

  27. key:..

    “..what’s instagram..?..’

    phillip ure..

  28. Chooky 28

    “You know kids ….Dotcom hasn’t been on the front page of Women’s Weekly yet in his swimming togs….I have…”

  29. Lanthanide 29

    Hey, you kids ever done that ‘planking’ thing? My son Max Key is.

  30. Jenny 30

    Unknown guest seen hanging round at school gates.

    Police would like to talk to anyone who can identify him

  31. Jackal 31

    Now pish off! You’re too young to vote.

  32. greywarbler 32

    Just put your little finger through the bars so I can see if you’re ready for eating, said the Wicked Old Wizard.

  33. greywarbler 33

    Hi I’m John Key.
    You’re Primo Minister.
    Always evolving, protean and plastic.
    A fun guy.
    A funguy
    A fungi

  34. key:..

    ..”..i never got to be a teenager..

    ..’cos..ackshully…i was studying ayn rand..

    ..have you read ‘atlas shrugged’..?..”

    phillip ure..

  35. key:..

    “..do you think poor people are yucky..?

    ..i think poor people are yucky..”

    ..phillip ure..

  36. girl:..

    ..”..who are you..?..”

    phillip ure..

  37. key:..

    “..what do you mean you don’t know who david letterman is..?..”

    phillip ure..

  38. boy to girl:

    “..quick..!..run..!..”

    phillip ure..

  39. key to girl:..

    “..no i’m not wearing a wig..?..”

    .phillip ure..

  40. David H 40

    EEEeeewwwww Who was that old perv ? tried to give me a Business card, he called it a selfie.

  41. “You’re leaving, so soon. Oh, for a brighter future, me too.”

  42. Whateva next? 42

    Welcome to planet Key, there’s room for just a couple more…

  43. Policy Parrot 43

    “So when are you two off on your OE? – mine starts in November”.

  44. Jenny 44

    “Please don’t hurt me Mr.”

  45. Jenny 45

    Finally, a job I can do.

  46. floyd 46

    You two are my idea of an egalitarian society. All the rich are equal and all the rest…. weeelll…..who cares.

  47. ropata 47

    JK: “Sorry kids, there are no toilets on Planet Key”

    Students: “That’s OK Sir, we just crapped in your BMW”

    JK: “Oh yeah? Well I have already crapped on your future, now f*ck off”

    Students: “No worries, we are f*cking off to Australia pretty soon”

  48. Martha 48

    “You make us laugh, is it true you’re Winston’s puppet?”

  49. happynz 49

    Several minutes after the photo shoot…

    Student A: About that bloke’s toupee…whaddya reckon?

    Student B: OMG it’s, like, sooooooo I dunno…erm…different…ha ha ha.

  50. Yossarian 50

    Student A: ” I dont care if this is a photo Op, take your left hand off my arse”
    Student B: ” You heared her You Perv or I head Butt You!”
    Keys: “This never happens in photo Ops with My Mate Barack”

  51. Craig Y 51

    Key: Ah, fine upstanding industrious young people! So, tell me, you’ve just turned eighteen, who are you going to vote for this year?

    Female student: Not sociopathic right-wingers, thank you. And please tell Colin Craig that his tinfoil hat isn’t at all fashionable.

    Male student: Please, Prime Minister, don’t privatise my grandmother!

  52. democracy 52

    It will cost you five bucks each to come thru this gate plus gst- John

    Kids awe shit u mate

  53. ecossemaid 53

    Ok Which of you sods super glued my hand to this gate?

  54. ecossemaid 54

    Awww Dad do we have to go see Auntie Paula again?
    Dad I have heard she drinks her own urine ..she’s not human!
    Now Now children she’s not that bad
    The Tree: ” Oh Children I am here……It’s Your Auntie Paula, don’t you recognize me?”

  55. tricledrown 55

    Girls welcome to the brighter future of gated communities!

  56. tricledrown 56

    Girls welcome to the brighter future of gated communities!

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • Government delivers ACC change to support 28,000 parents
    The Maternal Birth Injury and Other Matters Bill passes Third Reading – the first amendment to ACC legislation of its kind From 1 October 2022, new ACC cover to benefit approximately 28,000 birthing parents Additional maternal birth injuries added alongside new review provision to ensure cover remains comprehensive Greater clarity ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 hour ago
  • Further cuts for East Coast tarakihi limits to rebuild numbers faster
    Commercial catch limits for East Coast tarakihi will be reduced further to help the stock rebuild faster. “Tarakihi is a popular fish, and this has led to declining levels over time. Many adjustments have been made and the stock is recovering. I have decided on further commercial catch reductions of ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 hours ago
  • New Ambassador to Colombia announced
    Foreign Minister Nanaia Mahuta today announced the appointment of diplomat Nicci Stilwell as the next Ambassador to Colombia. “Aotearoa New Zealand’s relationship with Colombia is fast growing with strong links across education, climate change and indigenous co-operation,” Nanaia Mahuta said.  “Trade is a key part of our relationship with Colombia, ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 hours ago
  • 3000 more RSE workers to ease workforce pressures
    The Government continues to respond to global workforce shortages by announcing the largest increase in over a decade to the Recognised Seasonal Employer Scheme (RSE), providing 3000 additional places, Immigration Minister Michael Wood and Agriculture Minister Damien O’Connor have announced. The new RSE cap will allow access to 19,000 workers ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 hours ago
  • Sanctions on more of the Russian political elite
    Further sanctions are being imposed on members of President Putin’s inner circle and other representatives of the Russian political elite, as part of the Governments ongoing response to the war in Ukraine, says Foreign Minister Nanaia Mahuta. “Ukraine has been clear that the most important action we can take to ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 hours ago
  • New Principal Youth Court Judge appointed
    Judge Ida Malosi, District Court Judge of Wellington, has been appointed as the new Principal Youth Court Judge, Attorney-General David Parker announced today. Born and raised in Southland, Judge Malosi graduated from Victoria University of Wellington and spent her legal career in South Auckland.  She was a founding partner of ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 hours ago
  • Visitor arrivals highest since pandemic began
    Overseas visitor arrivals exceeded 100,000 in July, for the first time since the borders closed in March 2020 Strong ski season lifts arrivals to Queenstown to at least 90% of the same period in 2019 Australia holiday recovery has continued to trend upwards New Zealand’s tourism recovery is on its ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 hours ago
  • Language provides hope for Tuvalu
    Climate change continues to present a major risk for the island nation of Tuvalu, which means sustaining te gana Tuvalu, both on home soil and in New Zealand Aotearoa, has never been more important, Minister for Pacific Peoples Aupito William Sio said. The Tuvalu Auckland Community Trust and wider Tuvalu ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Minister Sio to attend Asian Development Bank meeting in Manila
    Associate Foreign Affairs Minister Aupito William Sio travels to the Philippines this weekend to represent Aotearoa New Zealand at the 55th Annual Meeting of the Asian Development Bank (ADB) Board of Governors in Manila. “The ADB Annual Meeting provides an opportunity to engage with other ADB member countries, including those ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • United Nations General Assembly National Statement
    E ngā Mana, e ngā Reo, Rau Rangatira mā kua huihui mai nei i tēnei Whare Nui o te Ao Ngā mihi maioha ki a koutou katoa, mai i tōku Whenua o Aotearoa Tuia ki runga, Tuia ki raro, ka Rongo to pō ka rongo te ao Nō reira, tēnā ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • New strategy unifies all-of-Government approach to help Pacific languages thrive
    A united approach across all-of-Government underpins the new Pacific Language Strategy, announced by the Minister for Pacific Peoples Aupito William Sio at Parliament today. “The cornerstone of our Pacific cultures, identities and place in Aotearoa, New Zealand are our Pacific languages. They are at the heart of our wellbeing,” Aupito ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Upgrades for sporting facilities ahead of FIFA Women’s World Cup
    Communities across the country will benefit from newly upgraded sporting facilities as a result of New Zealand co-hosting the FIFA Women’s World Cup 2023. The Government is investing around $19 million to support upgrades at 30 of the 32 potential sporting facilities earmarked for the tournament, including pitch, lighting and ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Partnership supports climate action in Latin America and Caribbean
    Aotearoa New Zealand is extending the reach of its support for climate action to a new agriculture initiative with partners in Latin America and the Caribbean. Foreign Affairs Minister Nanaia Mahuta and Agriculture Minister Damien O’Connor announced a NZ$10 million contribution to build resilience, enhance food security and address the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Landmark agreement for Māori fisheries celebrates 30th year
    The 30th anniversary of the Fisheries Deed of Settlement is a time to celebrate a truly historic partnership that has helped transform communities, says Parliamentary Under-Secretary to the Minister for Oceans and Fisheries Rino Tirikatene. “The agreement between the Crown and Māori righted past wrongs, delivered on the Crown’s treaty ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Government backs initiatives to cut environmental impact of plastic waste
    The Government has today announced funding for projects that will cut plastic waste and reduce its impact on the environment. “Today I am announcing the first four investments to be made from the $50 million Plastics Innovation Fund, which was set last year and implemented a 2020 election promise,” Environment ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Call for expressions of interest in appointment to the High Court Bench
    Attorney-General David Parker today called for nominations and expressions of interest in appointment to the High Court Bench.  This is a process conducted at least every three years and ensures the Attorney-General has up to date information from which to make High Court appointments.  “It is important that when appointments ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Depositor compensation scheme protects Kiwis’ money
    New Zealanders will have up to $100,000 of their deposits in any eligible institution guaranteed in the event that institution fails, under legislation introduced in Parliament today. The Deposit Takers Bill is the third piece of legislation in a comprehensive review of the Reserve Bank of New Zealand Act and ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • New fund to help more Pacific aiga into their own homes
    The Government has launched a new housing fund that will help more Pacific aiga achieve the dream of home ownership. “The Pacific Building Affordable Homes Fund will help organisations, private developers, Māori/iwi, and NGOs build affordable housing for Pacific families and establish better pathways to home ownership within Pacific communities. ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • More than 100,000 new Kiwis as halfway point reached
    Over 100,000 new Kiwis can now call New Zealand ‘home’ after the 2021 Resident Visa reached the halfway point of approvals, Minister of Immigration Michael Wood announced today. “This is another important milestone, highlighting the positive impact our responsive and streamlined immigration system is having by providing comfort to migrant ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Maniapoto Claims Settlement Bill passes third reading – He mea pāhi te Maniapoto Claims Settl...
    Nā te Minita mō ngā Take Tiriti o Waitangi, nā Andrew Little,  te iwi o Maniapoto i rāhiri i tēnei rā ki te mātakitaki i te pānuitanga tuatoru o te Maniapoto Claims Settlement Bill - te pikinga whakamutunga o tā rātou whakataunga Tiriti o Waitangi o mua. "Me mihi ka ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • 50,000 more kids to benefit from equity-based programmes next year
    Another 47,000 students will be able to access additional support through the school donations scheme, and a further 3,000 kids will be able to get free and healthy school lunches as a result of the Equity Index.  That’s on top of nearly 90% of schools that will also see a ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Healthy Active Learning now in 40 percent of schools across New Zealand
    A total of 800 schools and kura nationwide are now benefitting from a physical activity and nutrition initiative aimed at improving the wellbeing of children and young people. Healthy Active Learning was funded for the first time in the inaugural Wellbeing Budget and was launched in 2020. It gets regional ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Speech at 10th meeting of the Friends of the Comprehensive Nuclear-Test Ban Treaty
    Kia Ora. It is a pleasure to join you here today at this 10th meeting of the Friends of the Comprehensive Nuclear-Test Ban Treaty. This gathering provides an important opportunity to reiterate our unwavering commitment to achieving a world without nuclear weapons, for which the entry into force of this ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Speech for Earthshot Prize Innovation Summit 2022
    Kia ora koutou katoa Thank you for the invitation to join you. It’s a real pleasure to be here, and to be in such fine company.  I want to begin today by acknowledging His Royal Highness The Prince of Wales and Sir David Attenborough in creating what is becoming akin ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • New accreditation builds capacity for Emergency Management Volunteers
    Emergency Management Minister Kieran McAnulty has recognised the first team to complete a newly launched National Accreditation Process for New Zealand Response Team (NZ-RT) volunteers. “NZ-RT volunteers play a crucial role in our emergency response system, supporting response and recovery efforts on the ground. This new accreditation makes sure our ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Govt strengthens trans-Tasman emergency management cooperation
    Aotearoa New Zealand continues to strengthen global emergency management capability with a new agreement between New Zealand and Australia, says Minister for Emergency Management Kieran McAnulty. “The Government is committed to improving our global and national emergency management system, and the Memorandum of Cooperation signed is another positive step towards ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Christchurch Call Initiative on Algorithmic Outcomes
    Today New Zealand, the USA, Twitter, and Microsoft, announced investment in a technology innovation initiative under the banner of the Christchurch Call.  This initiative will support the creation of new technology to understand the impacts of algorithms on people’s online experiences.  Artificial Intelligence (AI) algorithms play a growing role in ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • JOINT PR: Trans-Tasman Cooperation on disaster management
    Hon Kieran McAnulty, New Zealand Minister for Emergency Management Senator The Hon Murray Watt, Federal Minister for Emergency Management Strengthening Trans-Tasman cooperation on disaster management issues was a key area of focus when Australia and New Zealand’s disaster management ministers met this week on the sidelines of the Asia-Pacific Ministerial Conference on ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • More transparency, less red-tape for modernised charities sector
    The Charities Amendment Bill has been introduced today which will modernise the charities sector by increasing transparency, improving access to justice services and reducing the red-tape that smaller charities face, Minister for the Community and Voluntary Sector Priyanca Radhakrishnan said. “These changes will make a meaningful difference to over 28,000 ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Pacific visas reopened to help boost workforce
    Work continues on delivering on a responsive and streamlined immigration system to help relieve workforce shortages, with the reopening of longstanding visa categories, Immigration Minister Michael Wood has announced.  From 3 October 2022, registrations for the Samoan Quota will reopen, and from 5 October registrations for the Pacific Access Category ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Queen Elizabeth II Memorial Day Bill passes into law
    The Bill establishing Queen Elizabeth II Memorial Day has passed its third reading. “As Queen of Aotearoa New Zealand, Her Majesty was loved for her grace, calmness, dedication, and public service. Her affection for New Zealand and its people was clear, and it was a fondness that was shared,” Michael ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • New investor migrant visa opens
    The new Active Investor Plus visa category created to attract high-value investors, has officially opened marking a key milestone in the Government’s Immigration Rebalance strategy, Economic Development Minister Stuart Nash and Immigration Minister Michael Wood have announced. “The new Active Investor Plus visa replaces the previous investor visa categories, which ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • New wharekura continues commitment to Māori education
    A new Year 1-13 designated character wharekura will be established in Feilding, Associate Minister of Education Kelvin Davis announced today. To be known as Te Kura o Kauwhata, the wharekura will cater for the expected growth in Feilding for years to come. “The Government has a goal of strengthening Māori ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • National minute of silence for Queen Elizabeth II
    A national minute of silence will be observed at the start of New Zealand’s State Memorial Service for Queen Elizabeth II, at 2pm on Monday 26 September. The one-hour service will be held at the Wellington Cathedral of St Paul, during a one-off public holiday to mark the Queen’s death. ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Speech to the Climate Change and Business Conference
    Tēnā koutou i tēnei ata. Good morning. Recently I had cause to say to my friends in the media that I consider that my job is only half done. So I’m going to take the opportunity of this year’s Climate and Business Conference to offer you a mid-point review. A ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Government enhances protection for our most-productive land  
    Enhanced protection for Aotearoa New Zealand’s most productive land   Councils required to identify, map, and manage highly productive land  Helping ensure Kiwis’ access to leafy greens and other healthy foods Subdivision for housing on highly-productive land could still be possible in limited circumstances  The Government has today released a National ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Kieran McAnulty to attend Asia-Pacific Ministerial Conference on Disaster Risk Reduction
    Minister for Emergency Management Kieran McAnulty will travel to Brisbane this week to represent Aotearoa New Zealand at the 2022 Asia-Pacific Ministerial Conference on Disaster Risk Reduction. “This conference is one of the most important meetings in the Asia-Pacific region to progress disaster risk reduction efforts and increase cooperation between ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Trade and Agriculture Minister to travel to India and Indonesia
    Minister of Trade and Export Growth and Minister of Agriculture Damien O’Connor will travel tomorrow to India and Indonesia for trade and agricultural meetings to further accelerate the Government’s growing trade agenda.  “Exploring ways we can connect globally and build on our trading relationships is a priority for the Government, ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Poroporoaki: Cletus Maanu Paul (ONZM)
    E te rangatira Maanu, takoto mai ra, i tō marae i Wairaka, te marae o te wahine nāna I inoi kia Whakatānea ia kia tae ae ia ki te hopu i te waka Mātaatua kia kore ai i riro i te moana. Ko koe anō tēnā he pukumahi koe mō ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Pacific Wellbeing Strategy sets clear path to improve outcomes for Pacific Aotearoa
    Strengthening partnerships with Pacific communities is at the heart of the Government’s new Pacific Wellbeing Strategy, Minister for Pacific Peoples Aupito William Sio announced today. “Working alongside communities to ensure more of our aiga and families have access to the staples of life like, housing, education, training and job opportunities ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago