web analytics

Caption contest

Written By: - Date published: 2:10 pm, January 24th, 2014 - 64 comments
Categories: caption contest, election 2014 - Tags:

Key’s office yesterday released another of their Dear-Leader graphics, this one featuring an “inspirational” quote on education.  Here’s a blank version for you to add your own.

key-school-blank

 

It will be hard to beat this contribution (via Twitter) from Mike Kilpatrick:

key-school

64 comments on “Caption contest”

  1. Hayden 1

    To borrow from Marty McFly:

    [You’d] better get used to these bars, kids.

    • Hayden 1.1

      Or to go the other way:

      You’re going to want something like this outside your subdivision by the time I’m finished.

  2. Enough is Enough 2

    Welcome to your worst nightmare

    Three more Year of Me

  3. Chooky 3

    “No thanks!….You are too old and ugly!”

  4. One Anonymous Knucklehead 4

    “Vote for me, we’re always looking for people in uniform who can hold a gate open.”

  5. Mainlander 5

    A politician that actually relates to people of all ages, a rare thing indeed

  6. geoff 6

    “Why are you smiling, there’s no bright future for you”

  7. Papa Tuanuku 7

    Bye dad, don’t forget to take your meds.

  8. Shrubbery 8

    Remember for when you grow up – always lock the gate behind you.

  9. Te Reo Putake 9

    Keep him talking, Kylie, security’s on the way.

  10. key:..

    ‘are you with me..?..or agin me..?’..

    phillip ure..

  11. key:..

    ..’have you seen blips’ list of my mincie-pies..?

    ..i’m so naughty..!..

    ..eh..?’

    phillip ure..

  12. key:

    ..’i never got to be a teenager..

    ..’cos i was raised in a state house..

    ..didn’tyaknow..?’

    phillip ure..

  13. key:

    “and then i said..then i said..to obama..’oh yeah..!..hahaha..!..

    ..we txt each other..!..

    ..didn’tyaknow..?..”

    phillip ure..

  14. key:..

    “..can you smell the oil and coal on my breath..?

    ..gotta mint..?..”

    phillip ure..

  15. key:..

    ‘no..!..it’s not true i’m a shape-shifting lizard..

    ..that’s just a green party rumour..!’

    ..phillip ure..

  16. key:..

    “..that way lies communism..!..”

    phillip ure..

  17. McFlock 17

    Our Glorious Leader maintains blokesy demeanour while escorting school fundraisers off his property – his entourage were responding to a “credible” security threat in the swimming pool of his Hawaiian residence.

  18. Skinny 18

    Male student: Hey Mr Key we are studying economics, the MSM are calling our economy a Rock Star economy.

    Key: Actually it’s true, you’ll do well at Crosby/Textor talking like that son.

    Female student: But Mr Key Standard & Poors have just down graded our rating… Ha ha that must make it a ‘Pop’ Star economy?

    Key: Young lady I better introduce you to Paula Bennett she will tell you of her early life..you sound like your heading that way.

  19. irascible 19

    “OK kids, we’ve finished the photo shoot. Make sure you return those uniforms to the Costume Hire shop” (THINKS ). Let’s all hope no one twigs that we had to do this photo using my gate as a school entrance during the school holidays.”

  20. risildowgtn 20

    Would you like a lolly

  21. aerobubble 21

    How did you get to be PM?

    Well I made the poor know they were poorer, the rich think they were richer and the middle look the other way.

  22. fender 22

    Oh I’m just eyeing up the property, can’t help but think it’s a waste of land use and could be better utilised by a mansion or two.

  23. Chooky 23

    I will give you a lolly if you don’t vote for Dotcom

  24. kousei 24

    Who knows what kind of world your children will inherit, long as we are right eh?

  25. ianmac 25

    “Don’t you kids know who I am?”

  26. key:..

    ‘are you on facebook..?

    ..i’m on facebook..’..

    phillip ure

  27. key:..

    “..what’s instagram..?..’

    phillip ure..

  28. Chooky 28

    “You know kids ….Dotcom hasn’t been on the front page of Women’s Weekly yet in his swimming togs….I have…”

  29. Lanthanide 29

    Hey, you kids ever done that ‘planking’ thing? My son Max Key is.

  30. Jenny 30

    Unknown guest seen hanging round at school gates.

    Police would like to talk to anyone who can identify him

  31. Jackal 31

    Now pish off! You’re too young to vote.

  32. greywarbler 32

    Just put your little finger through the bars so I can see if you’re ready for eating, said the Wicked Old Wizard.

  33. greywarbler 33

    Hi I’m John Key.
    You’re Primo Minister.
    Always evolving, protean and plastic.
    A fun guy.
    A funguy
    A fungi

  34. key:..

    ..”..i never got to be a teenager..

    ..’cos..ackshully…i was studying ayn rand..

    ..have you read ‘atlas shrugged’..?..”

    phillip ure..

  35. key:..

    “..do you think poor people are yucky..?

    ..i think poor people are yucky..”

    ..phillip ure..

  36. girl:..

    ..”..who are you..?..”

    phillip ure..

  37. key:..

    “..what do you mean you don’t know who david letterman is..?..”

    phillip ure..

  38. boy to girl:

    “..quick..!..run..!..”

    phillip ure..

  39. key to girl:..

    “..no i’m not wearing a wig..?..”

    .phillip ure..

  40. David H 40

    EEEeeewwwww Who was that old perv ? tried to give me a Business card, he called it a selfie.

  41. Will@Welly 41

    “You’re leaving, so soon. Oh, for a brighter future, me too.”

  42. Whateva next? 42

    Welcome to planet Key, there’s room for just a couple more…

  43. Policy Parrot 43

    “So when are you two off on your OE? – mine starts in November”.

  44. Jenny 44

    “Please don’t hurt me Mr.”

  45. Jenny 45

    Finally, a job I can do.

  46. floyd 46

    You two are my idea of an egalitarian society. All the rich are equal and all the rest…. weeelll…..who cares.

  47. ropata 47

    JK: “Sorry kids, there are no toilets on Planet Key”

    Students: “That’s OK Sir, we just crapped in your BMW”

    JK: “Oh yeah? Well I have already crapped on your future, now f*ck off”

    Students: “No worries, we are f*cking off to Australia pretty soon”

  48. Martha 48

    “You make us laugh, is it true you’re Winston’s puppet?”

  49. happynz 49

    Several minutes after the photo shoot…

    Student A: About that bloke’s toupee…whaddya reckon?

    Student B: OMG it’s, like, sooooooo I dunno…erm…different…ha ha ha.

  50. Yossarian 50

    Student A: ” I dont care if this is a photo Op, take your left hand off my arse”
    Student B: ” You heared her You Perv or I head Butt You!”
    Keys: “This never happens in photo Ops with My Mate Barack”

  51. Craig Y 51

    Key: Ah, fine upstanding industrious young people! So, tell me, you’ve just turned eighteen, who are you going to vote for this year?

    Female student: Not sociopathic right-wingers, thank you. And please tell Colin Craig that his tinfoil hat isn’t at all fashionable.

    Male student: Please, Prime Minister, don’t privatise my grandmother!

  52. democracy 52

    It will cost you five bucks each to come thru this gate plus gst- John

    Kids awe shit u mate

  53. ecossemaid 53

    Ok Which of you sods super glued my hand to this gate?

  54. ecossemaid 54

    Awww Dad do we have to go see Auntie Paula again?
    Dad I have heard she drinks her own urine ..she’s not human!
    Now Now children she’s not that bad
    The Tree: ” Oh Children I am here……It’s Your Auntie Paula, don’t you recognize me?”

  55. tricledrown 55

    Girls welcome to the brighter future of gated communities!

  56. tricledrown 56

    Girls welcome to the brighter future of gated communities!

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • Justice Minister represents New Zealand at Berlin nuclear disarmament summit
    Justice Minister Andrew Little will travel to Berlin tomorrow to represent New Zealand at a high-level summit on nuclear disarmament. This year, the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty (NPT) celebrates 50 years since it entered into force. “New Zealand’s proud record and leadership on nuclear disarmament is unwavering, so it’s important we are present ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    20 hours ago
  • Prime Minister to visit Fiji and Australia
    Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern will visit two of New Zealand’s most important Pacific partners, Fiji and Australia, next week. The visit to Fiji will be the first by a New Zealand Prime Minister in four years and comes during the 50th anniversary of Fijian independence and diplomatic relations between our ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Next steps in Criminal Cases Review Commission announced
    Justice Minister Andrew Little and New Zealand First MP Darroch Ball, have today announced the appointment of the Chief Commissioner of the Criminal Cases Review Commission (CCRC), the location, and the membership of the Establishment Advisory Group. Colin Carruthers QC has been appointed Chief Commissioner of the CCRC for an ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Horticultural Ahuwhenua Trophy finalists announced
    Māori Development Minister Hon Nanaia Mahuta and Agriculture Minister Hon Damien O’Connor co-announced the first horticultural finalists for the Ahuwhenua Trophy celebrating excellence in the Māori agricultural sector.  The three finalists are Ngai Tukairangi Trust from Mt Maunganui, Otama Marere Trust from Tauranga, and Hineora Orchard Te Kaha 15B Ahuwhenua ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • New support for students with dyslexia
    A new kete of resources to strengthen support for students with dyslexia will provide extra tools for the new Learning Support Coordinators (LSCs) as they start in schools, Associate Education Minister Tracey Martin announced today. The Minister launched the kete in Wellington this morning, at the first of three induction ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Rental reforms progress to select committee stage
    The Government continues to make progress on a fairer and more secure rental market for renters and landlords with the First Reading of the Residential Tenancies Amendment Bill and its referral to the Social Services and Community Select Committee.  “Now is the opportunity for landlords, tenants and others who want ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Papua New Guinea Prime Minister to visit New Zealand
    Papua New Guinea’s Prime Minister Hon James Marape will visit New Zealand from 21-25 February, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern announced today. “New Zealand and Papua New Guinea have a warm and friendly relationship. I look forward to welcoming Prime Minister Marape here and strengthening the relationship between our two countries,” ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Free school lunches served up to thousands
    Thousands of children have begun receiving a free lunch on every day of the school week, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern said. The Government’s free and healthy school lunch programme is under way for 7,000 students at 31 schools in Hawke’s Bay / Tairāwhiti and Bay of Plenty / Waiariki, extending ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Social Wellbeing Agency replaces Social Investment Agency with new approach
    The Minister for Social Development Carmel Sepuloni today announced a new approach that continues to broaden the Government’s social sector focus from a narrow, investment approach to one centred on people and wellbeing. Minister Sepuloni said redefining the previous approach to social investment by combining science, data and lived experience ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Government to strengthen protections for whistleblowers
    The Government is strengthening the Protected Disclosures Act to provide better protection for whistle blowers, Minister of State Services Chris Hipkins said today. “The Protected Disclosures Act is meant to encourage people to speak up about serious wrongdoing in the workplace and protect them from losing their jobs or being ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • PM speech at Parliamentary Chinese New Year celebration 2020
    Nǐn hǎo (Hello in Mandarin). Xīn Nián Kuài Lè (Happy New Year in Mandarin) Néi Hóu (Hello in Cantonese). Sun Nin Fai Lok (Happy New Year in Cantonese) Tēnā koutou, tēnā koutou, tēnā koutou katoa. Thank you for your invitation to attend this celebration today. I would like to acknowledge ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • IPANZ Annual Address
    Kia ora. Ngā mihi nui ki a koutou katoa. Nau mai haere mai ki te Whare Pāremata. E ngā mana whenua ki tēnei rohe Taranaki Whānui, Te Upoko o Te Ika, Ngāti Toa Rangatira, Ngāti Raukawa – kei te mihi, kei te mihi, kei te mihi. E ngā mana, e ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • 2020 IPANZ Annual Address
    Kia ora. Ngā mihi nui ki a koutou katoa. Nau mai haere mai ki te Whare Pāremata. E ngā mana whenua ki tēnei rohe Taranaki Whānui, Te Upoko o Te Ika, Ngāti Toa Rangatira, Ngāti Raukawa – kei te mihi, kei te mihi, kei te mihi. E ngā mana, e ngā ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Tougher penalties for gun crime a step closer
    Tougher penalties for gun crime are a step closer with the passage of firearms reform legislation through another stage in Parliament. The Arms Legislation Bill has tonight passed its Second Reading. “The changes have one objective - to prevent firearms falling into the wrong hands,” said Police Minister Stuart Nash. ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Arms Legislation Bill: Second Reading
    Introduction Mr Speaker We all know why we are here today. It has been a long journey. The journey did not actually begin on 15 March 2019. It began on 30 June 1997. Almost 23 years ago, Justice Sir Thomas Thorp told us what was wrong with our firearms legislation. ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • New era for vocational education
    The Government’s work to put trades and vocational education back on the agenda took another major step forward today with the passing of the Education (Vocational Education and Training Reform) Amendment Bill, Education Minister Chris Hipkins said. “This is a watershed day for trades and vocational education. These law changes formalise ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Bill to Amend the Greater Christchurch Regeneration Act
    Speeding up the return of Christchurch regeneration activities to local leadership is behind the Greater Christchurch Regeneration Amendment Bill introduced to Parliament today by Minister Megan Woods. “As we approach nine years since the February 2011 earthquake in Canterbury, and with the transition to local leadership well underway, the time ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Milford Track to partly reopen after storm damage
    Hundreds of New Zealanders and international visitors will be able to get back out into nature with the Milford Track partially reopening next week, after extensive assessments and repairs, the Minister of Conservation Eugenie Sage announced today. The popular Great Walk has been closed since 3 February after an extreme ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Government drives low-emissions transport momentum
    Up to 110 new EV chargers nationwide in cities and regions 50 electric vehicles for ride-sharing The Government is helping deliver more infrastructure and options for low emissions transport through new projects, Energy and Resources Minister Dr Megan Woods says. Tauranga, Nelson, Levin, New Plymouth and Oamaru are just some ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Kiwis better off under Coalition Government
    New Zealanders are increasingly better off under this Government as wages rise and families have more disposable income, Finance Minister Grant Robertson says. Stats NZ reported today that average household disposable incomes after housing costs rose 4.9% in 2019. This was the highest rise in four years and came as ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Another step towards restoring rights for screen production workers
    All New Zealanders need to have their voices heard at work to ensure we have an inclusive and productive economy. Today we introduce a Bill to do this for workers in the New Zealand screen industry, Workplace Relations and Safety Minister Iain Lees-Galloway says. “The Screen Industry Workers Bill will ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Enhanced Taskforce Green for Southland and South Otago
    The Government has announced further help for the Southland and Otago regions to speed up recovery efforts from the floods.  “I’ve approved Enhanced Taskforce Green (ETFG), making $500,000 available to help with the clean-up in Fiordland, Southland, and the Clutha district in Otago,” Minister for Social Development Carmel Sepuloni said.  ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Employers and Industry take the lead to connect students to vocational education
    Following the announcement that more than 340 schools will be funded to run events promoting vocational education, the Government has announced it will fund a further 257 events to be run by employers and industry. “These industry-run events will allow more than 30,000 students to connect with more than 2,000 ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Rental reforms a step closer with the introduction of the Residential Tenancies Amendment Bill
    Today the Government is making progress on a fairer and more secure rental market for renters and landlords with the introduction of the Residential Tenancies Amendment Bill in Parliament.  “This Bill includes a series of reforms to improve the wellbeing of the 609,700 households that live in rented homes, and ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Biosecurity Minister announces world first eradication of pea weevil
    A Government programme to wipe out pea weevil has achieved a world first, with Biosecurity Minister Damien O’Connor today announcing the successful eradication of the noxious pest from Wairarapa. This means the nearly four-year ban on pea plants and pea straw was lifted today. Commercial and home gardeners can again grow ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Temporary Accommodation Service activated for Southland flooding
    Southland residents hit by flooding caused by heavy rainfall can now access help finding temporary accommodation with the Government activating the Temporary Accommodation Service, Minister of Civil Defence Peeni Henare announced today. “The Temporary Accommodation Service (TAS) has been activated by the Ministry of Business, Innovation and Employment to help ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Bridges: Over-hyped and under-delivered
    “Is that it?” That’s Finance Minister Grant Robertson’s response to Simon Bridges’ much-hyped economic speech today. “Simon Bridges just gave the most over-hyped and under-delivered speech that I can remember during my time in politics,” Grant Robertson said. “It’s not surprising. Simon Bridges literally said on the radio this morning ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Police to trial eye in the sky in Christchurch
    A trial deployment of the Police Eagle helicopter in Christchurch will test whether the aircraft would make a significant difference to crime prevention and community safety. “The Bell 429 helicopter will be based in Christchurch for five weeks, from 17 February to 20 March,” said Police Minister Stuart Nash. “The ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Momentum of trade talks continues with visits to promote Pacific and Middle East links
    The Government has kept up the pace of its work to promote New Zealand’s trade interests and diversify our export markets, with visits to Fiji and the United Arab Emirates (UAE) by Trade and Export Growth Minister David Parker. Building momentum to bring the PACER Plus trade and development agreement ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Coalition Govt’s investment in Customs nets record drugs haul: 3 tonnes stopped at borders in 2019
    The Coalition Government’s investment in a strong border and disrupting transnational organised crime produced record results for stopping drugs in 2019, says Minister of Customs Jenny Salesa. The illegal drugs were seized at the New Zealand border by Customs, and overseas by Customs’ international border partners before the drugs could ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Separated scenic cycleway starts
    Transport Minister Phil Twyford today kicked off construction of a separated cycleway alongside Tamaki Drive. A two-way separated cycleway will be built along the northern side of Tamaki Drive, between the Quay Street Cycleway extension and Ngapipi Road. There will be a separate walking path alongside. Phil Twyford said giving ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Earthquake-Prone Building loan scheme: eligibility criteria announced
    Owner-occupiers of unit and apartments living in earthquake-prone buildings will have certainty about the financial support they’ll be eligible for with the release of criteria for an upcoming assistance scheme, Minister for Building and Construction Jenny Salesa says. The Residential Earthquake-Prone Building Financial Assistance Scheme will help unit owners facing ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Travel restrictions to remain in place as coronavirus precaution
    Temporary restrictions on travel from China will remain in place as a precautionary measure to protect against the spread of the COVID-19 coronavirus. The restrictions which prevent foreign nationals travelling from, or transiting through, mainland China from entering New Zealand have been extended for a further 8 days. This position ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Over $1 million to help Tairāwhiti youth into employment
    Employment Minister Willie Jackson announced today that Tairāwhiti rangatahi will benefit from an investment made by the Government’s He Poutama Rangatahi (HPR) scheme. The funding will go to the Tautua Village, Kauneke programme and the Matapuna Supported Employment Programme which will fund 120 rangatahi over two years. “Both programmes work ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • School attendance has to improve
    All parents and caregivers need to ensure that their children go to school unless they are sick, Associate Education Minister Tracey Martin said today. “The school attendance results for 2019 show, across the board, a drop in the number of students going to school regularly,” the Minister says. “Apart from ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Crown and Moriori sign a Deed of Settlement
    A Deed of Settlement agreeing redress for historical Treaty claims has been signed by the Crown and Moriori at Kōpinga Marae on Rēkohu (Chatham Islands) today, Minister for Treaty of Waitangi Negotiations Andrew Little has announced. Moriori have a tradition of peace that extends back over 600 years. This settlement ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Waikato Expressway driving towards completion
    Transport Minister Phil Twyford today with Māori King Tuheitia Pōtatau Te Wherowhero VII officially opened the country’s newest road, the $384 million Huntly section of the Waikato Expressway. The 15km four-lane highway with side and central safety barriers takes State Highway 1 east of Huntly town, across lowlands and streams ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • 3400 New Zealanders treated in first year of new hepatitis C treatment
    The rapid uptake of life-saving new hepatitis C medicine Maviret since it was funded by PHARMAC a year ago means the elimination of the deadly disease from this country is a realistic goal, Health Minister David Clark says. Hepatitis C is a blood-borne virus which attacks the liver, proving fatal ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Kaupapa Māori approach for homelessness
      Kaupapa Māori will underpin the Government’s new plan to deal with homelessness announced by the Prime Minister in Auckland this morning. “Māori are massively overrepresented among people experiencing homelessness, so, to achieve different outcomes for Māori, we have to do things very differently,” says the Minister of Māori Development ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Government steps up action to prevent homelessness
    1000 new transitional housing places delivered by end of year to reduce demand for emergency motel accommodation. Introduce 25% of income payment, after 7 days, for those in emergency motel accommodation to bring in line with other forms of accommodation support. Over $70m extra to programmes that prevents those at ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago