Caption contest
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5:00 pm, November 27th, 2014 - 116 comments
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116 comments on “Caption contest ”
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- Report into Aotearoa New Zealandâs export controls system releasedForeign Affairs Minister Nanaia Mahuta today welcomed the findings of an independent review into Aotearoa New Zealandâs export controls system, which regulates the export of goods to foreign militaries, police forces or paramilitaries. Produced by David Smol, a former Chief Executive of the Ministry of Business, Innovation and Employment, the ...4 days ago
- New District Court Judge appointedAttorney-General David Parker has announced the appointment of Brett Crowley of Wellington as a District Court Judge. He is currently the Wellington Public Defender and started his career as a staff solicitor working in a range of litigation including criminal defence work. He went to the bar in 1999 specialising ...4 days ago
- Mental health stocktake shows strong progressThe first report of the Governmentâs Implementation Unit has found strong progress has been made since the Mental Health and Addictions Package was announced in 2019. âThe report notes most initiatives funded in the Budget 2019 package are on track to deliver what is expected by 2023/24,â Grant Robertson said. ...4 days ago
- Working together to grow the West CoastA project that has been crucial in allowing businesses to continue during the tourism downturn is among a number of initiatives to receive a boost from the Governmentâs Jobs For Nature programme, Conservation Minister Kiri Allan says. Sustaining South Westland is an extension of an initiative set up last year ...4 days ago
- Next steps to improve safety in wake of Whakaari White Island tragedyThe Government is moving to improve safety in light of the Whakaari White Island tragedy and has released proposals to reinforce safety standards in registered adventure activities. The package of proposals includes: Strengthening requirements for how operators, landowners and the regulator manage natural hazard risks Improving how risks are monitored, ...4 days ago
- New Zealand donates more COVID-19 vaccines to COVAX and the PacificForeign Affairs Minister Hon Nanaia Mahuta and Associate Health Minister Aupito William Sio announced today that New Zealand is donating additional Pfizer vaccines to the Pacific and AstraZeneca vaccines to the COVAX Facility, to support equitable access to COVID-19 vaccines. âNew Zealand is donating 708,000 doses of the AstraZeneca COVID-19 vaccine ...4 days ago
- Speech to the Property Council of New ZealandKia ora koutou katoa  Is it a pleasure to be able to speak with you today, and to be able to answer some questions you may have. I would like to acknowledge the organisers of this event, the Property Council. The theme of this yearâs conference is City Shapers. Together ...5 days ago
- Additional MIQ for ChristchurchAn additional hotel will be added to our network of managed isolation and quarantine facilities, COVID-19 Response Minister Chris Hipkins said today. âI have approved and Cabinet is in the final stages of signing off The Quality Hotel Elms in Christchurch as a new managed isolation facility,â Chris Hipkins said. ...5 days ago
- NZ COVID-19 response earns another major digital investmentMinister for the Digital Economy and Communications Dr David Clark welcomes Amazonâs Web Servicesâ (AWS) decision to establish a Cloud Region on New Zealand shores, further boosting New Zealandâs growing digital sector, and providing a vote of confidence in the direction of New Zealandâs economic recovery. âAmazon is the second ...5 days ago
- New Zealand invests in cutting edge cancer R&DScaling up the manufacture of CAR T-cell cancer therapy for clinical trials Advancing New Zealandâs biomedical manufacturing capability Supporting future international scientific collaborations Transforming cancer care with targeted, affordable solutions Research, Science and Innovation Minister Hon Dr Megan Woods has announced that the fight against COVID-19 will not stop the ...5 days ago
- Expert group appointed to lead New Zealandâs future health systemAn outstanding group of people with extensive and wide-ranging governance and health experience have been appointed to lead the MÄori Health Authority and Health New Zealand, Health Minister Andrew Little says. âThis Government is building a truly national health system to provide consistent, high-quality health services right across the country. This ...5 days ago
- Funding to help clean up contaminated sitesThe Government is supporting the clean-up of contaminated sites in Northland, Dunedin and Southland to reduce risk to peopleâs health and protect the environment. Environment Minister David Parker said the funding announced today, through the Contaminated Sites Remediation Fund, will help us turn previously hazardous sites into safe, usable public ...5 days ago
- Predator Free apprenticeships open up new job opportunitiesThe expansion of a predator free apprenticeship programme is an opportunity for more people to kick-start a conservation career, Conservation Minister Kiri Allan says. âThe Predator Free Apprenticeship Programme is focused on increasing the number of skilled predator control operators in New Zealand through a two-year training programme. âThe Trust ...6 days ago
- Further NCEA support confirmed for Auckland studentsThe number of Learning Recognition Credits for senior secondary school students will be increased for Auckland students, Education Minister Chris Hipkins confirmed today. This recognises the extended time these students will spend in Alert Levels 3 and 4. âIt means students in Auckland will have a fair opportunity to attain ...6 days ago
- Long-term pathway next step to better mental wellbeing for New ZealandersThe Government is taking a new approach to support people who experience mental distress, Health Minister Andrew Little says. âKia Manawanui Aotearoa â Long-term pathway to mental wellbeing (Kia Manawanui) is the first 10-year plan of its kind that targets the cause of mental distress and also sets out how ...6 days ago
- Keeping our Police safe to keep our communities safeThe Government is committed to keeping our frontline police officers safe, so they in turn can keep New Zealanders safe â with one of the largest investments in frontline safety announced by Police Minister Poto Williams at the Police College today. Â The $45 million investment includes $15.496 million in ...6 days ago
- Clean Vehicles Bill passes first checkpointThe Land Transport (Clean Vehicles) Amendment Bill will help New Zealand drive down transport emissions by cleaning up the light vehicle fleet, Transport Minister Michael Wood says. The Bill passed its first reading today and will establish the legislative framework for key parts of the Governmentâs Clean Car Package, including ...6 days ago
- Funding boost supports ongoing MÄori COVID-19 responseThe Government is responding to the need by whÄnau MÄori and MÄori Health providers to support their ongoing work responding to COVID-19 and to continue increasing rates of MÄori vaccination, Associate Minister for Health (MÄori Health), Peeni Henare and Minister for MÄori Development Willie Jackson announced today. Â This increased ...7 days ago
- Significant increase to COVID-19 penaltiesPenalties for breaches of COVID-19 orders are set to significantly increase from early November 2021 to better reflect the seriousness of any behaviour that threatens New Zealandâs response to the virus, COVID-19 Response Minister Chris Hipkins said today. âThroughout this Delta outbreak weâve seen the overwhelming majority of people doing ...7 days ago
- Counter-Terrorism Legislation Bill returns to ParliamentThe Counter-Terrorism Legislation Bill has returned to Parliament for its second reading in an important step towards giving enforcement agencies greater power to protect New Zealanders from terrorist activity. âThe Bill addresses longstanding gaps in our counter terrorism legislation that seek to protect New Zealanders and make us safer,â Justice ...7 days ago
- Joint Statement: New Zealand and Australian Trade MinistersHon Damien O'Connor MP, New Zealand Minister for Trade and Export Growth, and Hon Dan Tehan MP, Australian Minister for Trade, Tourism and Investment, met virtually on Monday 20 September to advance trans-Tasman cooperation under the Australia-New Zealand Closer Economic Relations Trade Agreement (CER). CER is one of the most ...1 week ago
- Prime Ministerâs Post Cabinet Press Conference/COVID-19 Update opening statement***Please check against delivery*** Â E te tÄŤ, e te tÄ, nau mai rÄ [To all, I bid you welcome] Â As you will have seen earlier, today there are 22 new community cases to report; three of which are in Whakatiwai in the Hauraki area, and the remainder in ...1 week ago
- Major milestones for MÄori COVID-19 vaccine rollout as new campaign launchesWhÄnau Ora and Associate Health (MÄori Health) Minister Peeni Henare acknowledges two major milestones in the rollout of the COVID-19 vaccination programme for MÄori. âI am very pleased to announce more than 50 percent of eligible MÄori have received their first dose and 25 per cent are now fully vaccinated,â ...1 week ago
- Government funding to fight infectious diseases$36 million for research into Covid-19 and other infectious diseases The investment will improve our readiness for future pandemics Research will focus on prevention, control, and management of infectious diseases The Governmentâs investing in a new Infectious Diseases Research Platform to boost Aotearoa New Zealandâs Covid-19 response and preparedness for ...1 week ago
- Quarantine-free travel with Australia to remain suspended for a further 8 weeksSuspension to be reviewed again mid to late November Decision brought forward to enable access from Australia to first tranche of around 3000 rooms in MIQ Air New Zealand working at pace to put on more flights from Australia from October   The suspension of quarantine-free travel (QFT) with Australia has ...2 weeks ago
- Extra support for Ethnic Communities to share vaccination informationExtra support is being made available to Ethnic Communities to help them share COVID-19 vaccination information within their communities, Minister for Diversity, Inclusion and Ethnic Communities Priyanca Radhakrishnan said. âWe know we need to get every eligible person in New Zealand vaccinated. A fund being launched today will allow for ...2 weeks ago
- School holidays remain unchanged for Auckland regionSchool holidays in Auckland will continue to be held at the same time as the rest of the country, starting from Saturday, 2 October, Education Minister Chris Hipkins said today. âIâve carefully considered advice on the implications of shifting the dates and concluded that on balance, maintaining the status quo ...2 weeks ago
- Government continues crackdown on gangs and organised crimeOperation Tauwhiro extended until March 2022 Since it was launched in February, Operation Tauwhiro has resulted in: Â 987 firearms seized $4.99 million in cash seized 865 people charged with a firearms-related offence Gangs and organised crime groups will continue to be relentlessly targeted with the extension of Policeâs successful ...2 weeks ago
- Self-isolation trial to start next month
Up to 150 business people will try home isolation after an overseas trip, as government looks at ways to reopen, Justin Giovannetti writes in The Bulletin.A first step to reopening the country’s border. A self-isolation pilot, allowing 150 travellers to leave the country on a short business trip and return with ...28 mins ago - Lockdowns Must Stop
New Conservative states the Labour governmentâs Covid 19 response strategy of ongoing lockdowns must stop. New Zealanders are tired of these continued restrictions on movement and freedom. Businesses are suffering with people digging into their ...40 mins ago - Business to Govt on vaccinations: 'We are flying blind'
The Government is ignoring pleas from SMEs for clarity around the Covid jab. ...1 hour ago - Bakerâs warning on Delta: âIâd love to be wrongâ
The University of Otago epidemiologist isnât entirely reassured by Jacinda Ardern and Ashley Bloomfield. David Williams reports In the whack-a-mole attempt to stamp out the Delta variant there are different views on how the country is faring. The official line, from the Beehive theatrette podium, goes something like this: The ...2 hours ago - Newsroom daily crossword, Tuesday 28 September2 hours ago
- Newsroom daily quiz, Tuesday 28 September2 hours ago
- Find out how much house prices rose in your suburb last year with this fun* toolThe latest property data from CoreLogic NZ shows a now familiar rise in house prices across the motu. (*extremely bleak)Even closed borders, nationwide lockdowns and a global pandemic can’t stop New Zealand house prices from rising. CoreLogic’s latest data update shows an increase in median house prices in every one ...3 hours ago
- I am writing an allegorical novel about alpaca breeders and democracyCritics of public funding for the arts during the Covid crisis have alighted in recent weeks on a grant for a novel about alpaca breeders. We invited its author, Duncan Sarkies, to give us an insight into his work.Here it is, are you ready? An allegorical novel about the collapse ...3 hours ago
- Stop the clocks: The politics of nostalgia in the Groundswell farmer protests
In part one of a two-part series on farm politics in NZ, Professor Hugh Campbell explores the declining influence and privilege of farmers across the country. ...3 hours ago - Secret court risks as espionage trial looms
A hearing ahead of the espionage trial of a New Zealand soldier and far-right extremist grappled with upholding open justice and balancing acute national security concerns, Marc Daalder reports Analysis: Chief Judge Kevin Riordan says secret courts aren't compatible with New Zealand's justice system, but now finds himself presiding over one ...3 hours ago - Employers caught in conflicting rights over vaccination
Employers trying to keep their workplaces safe are caught between four different conflicting laws and rights over compulsory vaccination - and they want some government guidance As vaccination rates in Aotearoa creep up, conversation is starting to turn to how employers will manage their unvaccinated employees. Whatever one might ...3 hours ago - Traumatised, and nowhere to get help: An epidemic in our justice system
*Content warning: This story discusses violence and sexual abuse* More than half the inmates in New Zealandâs three womenâs prisons are suffering from post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), often due to physical and sexual abuse. It is well-known that untreated PTSD is linked to criminal offending, so why is ...3 hours ago - Key's threat greater than Seymour or Collins
Comment: ACTâs David Seymour is winning poll after poll in recent months but rearranging the deck chairs on the Opposition ship isnât going to sink the Government, writes political editor Jo Moir. Monday nightâs 1News Colmar Brunton poll has National and Labour both down while ACTâs star continues to rise. ...3 hours ago - The sportswriter, by Warwick Roger
In between the two All Blacks-Springboks tests, we reproduce a classic rugby story by Warwick Roger Iâd written to Noel Holmes months earlier to ask if I could see him, and in reply Iâd had a phone call. His voice was faint and scratchy as he told me that although ...3 hours ago - A brain technique to tame depression
A technique shown to have significant results in people with depression is currently only available through private psychiatrists in New Zealand. This Mental Health Awareness Week, Kate Godfrey puts forward a case for making it widely-available. A brain stimulation technique used widely overseas to treat depression could make a big difference in ...3 hours ago - Girls want to play on their terms
New research shows many young Kiwi women and girls want more flexibility, fun and freedom of uniforms around playing sport, as drop-out rates aren't helped by a pandemic. More young women in New Zealand want to play sport or be active â but under their own terms. Our 12 to 17-year-old girls are ...3 hours ago - China's trade bid exposes fiscal hole in US strategy
The Asian superpower may not enter trans-Pacific bloc, but it's shown up American deficiencies ...3 hours ago - Pfizer rebuts John Key's vaccine payment claim
Claims of cash for early access are "baseless and incorrect", the drug giant says. ...3 hours ago - With MMP the politicians have to decide what Germany has decided
Voters in the German federal election on Sunday had the opportunity to sweep away the detritus of 16 years of compromises from retiring Chancellor Angela Merkel.  The Green party led in the opinion polls by a good margin earlier in the year. Only a few days ago, the Guardian ...9 hours ago - The Good Fight: exhilarating entertainment and a grim warning of what the US could become
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Dennis Altman, Professorial Fellow in Human Security, La Trobe University Christine Baranski and Audra McDonald in The Good Fight. Scott Free Productions, King Size Productions, CBS All Access Our writers nominate the TV series keeping them entertained during a time of COVID. ...13 hours ago - Judith Collins sinks below David Seymour as preferred PM
ACT leader David Seymour has overtaken National's Judith Collins as preferred prime minister in the latest 1News Colmar Brunton Poll, with both major parties taking a hit. ...13 hours ago - Germans have voted to replace Angela Merkel â here are 7 ways to understand the results so farSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Matt Fitzpatrick, Professor in International History, Flinders University Martin Meissner/AP/AAP On Sunday, Germans went to the polls to decide who will succeed retiring Angela Merkel as chancellor. Read more: From ‘Mädchen’ to ‘Mutti’: as Angela ...13 hours ago
- Linda Evangelista says fat freezing made her a recluse. Cryolipolysis can do the opposite to whatâ...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Michael Freeman, Dermatologist, Associate Professor, Bond University Linda Evangelista walks down the catwalk wearing Dior Haute Couture Fall/Winter 2008. Photo by Toni Anne Barson Archive/WireImage At the height of her fame in the 1990s, supermodel Linda Evangelista was often quoted as saying ...14 hours ago
- Government announces more details on home isolation pilot schemePrime Minister Jacinda Ardern has announced a pilot that will allow those travelling overseas for business to forgo MIQ and isolate at home will be open for expressions of interest on Thursday. ...15 hours ago
- Undersea thriller Vigil is the next must-watch for Line of Duty fansAll your questions about TVNZ’s gripping new submarine-set drama, answered by Tara Ward. This story contains a spoiler for an early scene in episode 1 of VigilI’m so over crime dramas set in an office. I really wish they’d set one under the sea.Grab your snorkel and flippers, because this ...15 hours ago
- Not all menâs violence prevention programs are effective: why womenâs voices need to be includedSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Chay Brown, Postdoctoral fellow, Australian National University Dylan Gillis/Unsplash In the opening panel of the National Summit on Womenâs Safety 2021, Professor Marcia Langton called for a separate national plan to address violence against Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander women. ...15 hours ago
- Self-Isolation Trial PositiveBusinesses locked in New Zealand or marooned overseas and locked out of MIQ, will leap at the opportunity to be part of a self-isolation travel trial, and welcome an indication of shorter isolation periods and the easing of quarantine-free travel ...15 hours ago
- New drives to counter China come with a major risk: throwing fuel on the Indo-Pacific arms raceSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Tony Walker, Vice-chancellor’s fellow, La Trobe University Evan Vucci/AP An accelerating arms race in the Indo-Pacific is all but guaranteed now that China finds itself a target of new security arrangements â AUKUS and the Quad â aimed at containing ...15 hours ago
- https://www.scoop.co.nz/stories/PO2109/S00172/.htm...16 hours ago
- Watch live: PM Jacinda Ardern provides post-Cabinet briefingPrime Minister Jacinda Ardern is due to address a media conference at about 4pm after Cabinet met this afternoon. ...16 hours ago
- Extraordinary Council Meeting To Discuss Government's Proposed Three Waters Reform...16 hours ago
- A recipe and giveaway to mark a belated Korean thanksgiving A recipe from the head chef at Waiheke Island restaurant The Shed and a delicious giveaway to celebrate the move to level three in Tāmaki Makaurau.This year, Chuseok (추석) or Korean thanksgiving fell on September 21. One of the biggest and most important holidays in Korea, it’s a time for ...16 hours ago
- DHBs Call For Stronger Action On Alcohol Will Improve Health And EquityAlcohol Healthwatch strongly supports the collective call made by all 20 District Health Boards (DHBs) for New Zealandâs liquor laws to be reviewed. This is the first time the collective heads of the DHBs have joined forces on a singular position ...16 hours ago
- Oliver Hartwich: Germany faces coalition conundrum
Germanyâs election results will require some creative coalition-building, writes Oliver Hartwich Germany has voted. The result is not an earthquake, but a landslide. A change of power is looming after 16 years of Christian Democrat-led federal governments. MMP electoral systems can take longer for a new coalition government to emerge. ...16 hours ago - Two thirds of New Zealanders favour border âsafety firstâ, says Herald pollPacific Media Watch newsdesk A new poll shows nearly two out of three New Zealanders want the border to remain closed until at least 90 percent of the country is vaccinated. The poll, in partnership with the countryâs leading daily newspaper The New Zealand Herald, which is also running a ...16 hours ago
- The Fiji Times: The role of the media â holding power to accountEDITORIAL: By the Fiji Times editor-in-chief Fred Wesley Fijiâs Assistant Minister for iTaukei Affairs Selai Adimaitoga said quite a lot on Friday in her end of week statement on the Media Industry Development Act 2010 in Parliament. She blamed reckless reporting by journalists as âone of the causes of violence ...16 hours ago
- Lawyer Koman calls for inquiry into tragic death of health worker in PapuaAsia Pacific Report newsdesk Papua human rights activist and lawyer Veronica Koman has called for an independent inquiry into the attack on health workers in the Kiwirok district, Star Highlands, Papua, saying there are two versions of how the tragedy happened. A healthcare worker, 22-year-old Gabriella Maelani, was killed during ...16 hours ago
- Doctors rally on phone to help Pasifika families in isolationRNZ Pacific A group of doctors have hit the phones to support Pasifika families who have tested positive for covid-19 and been transferred into managed isolation. The chairperson of the Royal New Zealand College of GPsâ Pasifika chapter, Monica Liva, said about half the people infected with the virus in ...16 hours ago
- NZ reports 16 new community covid cases after drop to single figuresRNZ News New Zealand has 16 community cases of covid-19 today, according to the Ministry of Health. In a statement, the ministry said 13 of todayâs 16 cases had been epidemiologically linked to previous cases. There have been 10 unlinked cases in the past fortnight. There was also one historical ...16 hours ago
- Hipkins gets huffy about âhermitâ remark while the PM communicates with the UN General Assembly ...
The Minister in charge of the country’s Covid-19 response, Chris Hipkins, was wrong to say former PM John Keyâs description of New Zealand as a âsmug hermit kingdomâ is an insult to New Zealanders. ... 17 hours ago - Aucklandâs Americaâs Cup dream isnât dead yetWhen the wealthy businessman who’s attempting to fund a cup defence in Auckland – against Team NZ’s wishes – was copied into a controversial email last week, all hell broke loose. Writing for BusinessDesk, Pattrick Smellie lays out the background to the scrap, and what Grant Dalton could do ...18 hours ago
- With the AUKUS alliance confronting China, New Zealand should ramp up its anti-nuclear diplomacySource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Alexander Gillespie, Professor of Law, University of Waikato New Zealand might not be part of the recently revealed security agreement between the US, Britain and Australia (AUKUS), but it certainly canât avoid the diplomatic and strategic fallout. Under the pact, Australia stands ...18 hours ago
- Politicians Conveniently Ignore Last Sundayâs World Rivers DayThe New Zealand government and political parties have been taken to task by a New Zealand outdoor recreation advocacy for seemingly ignoring the significance of Sunday (26 September) as World Rivers Day. The Council of Outdoor Recreation Associations ...18 hours ago
- NZ needs to produce its own vaccines
With vaccines the only long-term option to keep New Zealanders safe, building local infrastructure that can produce vaccines capable of backing up international efforts is crucial for our resilience, argues Dr Davide Comoletti As New Zealand emerges from another Covid-19 lockdown and the Northern Hemisphere braces for winter, scientists around the world are ...18 hours ago - Yesterdayâs World Riversâ Day Is NZâs Rivers Shame DayWorld Rivers Day designated for Sunday 26 September, should be renamed âRiversâ Shame Day' according to the New Zealand Federation of Freshwater Anglers. Federation secretary David Haynes of Nelson, said in New Zealand, politicians, regional councils, ...19 hours ago
- The case for Air NZ focusing more on its freight operations
New Zealand’s vulnerability in terms of air and shipping services has been among the ominous consequences of the Covid-19 pandemic. Air NZ has parked its fleet of eight Boeing 777-200 and seven Boeing 777-300 and reckons they will never fly them again. All its international services are based on its ...20 hours ago - Lack Of Access To MIQ Endangers Vets And AnimalsThe New Zealand Veterinary Association (NZVA) is calling on the Government to take action when it comes to prioritising access to MIQ spaces. After sustained but unsuccessful lobbying to achieve a commitment from the Minister for COVID-19 Response to allocate ...20 hours ago
- Where to find heaps of online te reo MÄori resourcesBecause every week is Te Wiki o Te Reo, here are some tools to keep you company on your te reo learning journey.Ka taea te whakatika te reo hapa, tē taea te whakatika te reo ngū. You can fix language that is broken but you can’t fix language that is ...20 hours ago
- Newsletter: New Zealand Politics Daily â September 27 2021Editorâs Note: Here below is a list of the main issues currently under discussion in New Zealand and links to media coverage. You can sign up to NZ Politics Daily as well as New Zealand Political Roundup columns for free here. Today’s content Govt Covid response, modelling advice Shamubeel Eaqub ...20 hours ago
- How can we help more MÄori and Pasifika businesses succeed in contracting?Last December, the government procurement rules were updated, requiring that a minimum of at least 5% of government procurement contracts (by volume) should be awarded to Māori businesses from 2021. This should be celebrated, writes Height founder Warner Cowin.When Māori and Pasifika people self-determine their economic destiny and participate meaningfully ...20 hours ago
- Gross Domestic Product: June 2021 Quarter â CorrectedWe wish to inform you that we have identified and corrected an error in Gross domestic product: June 2021 quarter . There is no impact on headline quarterly GDP (production measure of GDP), which remains at an increase of 2.8 percent for the June 2021 quarter. ...21 hours ago
- Police PropagandaRecent statements attributed to the Commissioner of Police, Andrew Coster, have repeated previous allegations from police that gangs acquire their firearms from licensed firearms owners. That is a significant distortion of the truth and by implication ...21 hours ago
- Mayor Suggests UK-style Arts-sector Insurance SchemeItâs time New Zealand thought about an arts and events sector insurance scheme, not unlike that in the United Kingdom, says Wellington Mayor Andy Foster. Mayor Foster suggests the insurance scheme in an opinion piece titled âWOW... who carries the ...22 hours ago
- 'Take away some of their rights' – Sir John Key on incentivising vaccinationsSir John Key says more young New Zealanders are likely to get vaccinated if their rights to go to nightclubs and take flights are withdrawn. ...22 hours ago
- 'Take away some of their rights' – Sir John Key on incetivising vaccinationsSir John Key says more young New Zealanders are likely to get vaccinated if their rights to go to nightclubs and take flights are withdrawn. ...22 hours ago
- Closed Facebook groups offer respite for stressed-out women. But running them involves yet more unse...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Catherine Archer, Senior Lecturer in Strategic Communication; social media researcher, Murdoch University Would you share your most intimate thoughts with strangers? For many women, during the pandemic and associated lockdowns, closed Facebook groups have been a place to do just that. These ...22 hours ago
- âIt is a big relief for meâ: how the welfare provided by madrassas holds a key to fighting the T...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Zahid Mumtaz, PHD candidate and casual sessional academic, Australian National University Muhammed Muheisen/AP/AAP The swift reemergence of the Taliban in Afghanistan after a failed 20-year war means we need to look beyond military solutions to extremism. One area policymakers should ...22 hours ago
- What is dust? And where does it all come from?Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Mark Patrick Taylor, Chief Environmental Scientist, EPA Victoria; Honorary Professor Macquarie University, Macquarie University Shutterstock Everything in our homes gathers dust. But what exactly is it? Where does it come from, and why does it keep coming back? Is it ...22 hours ago
- Social media, activism, trucker caps: the fascinating story behind long COVIDSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Deborah Lupton, SHARP Professor, leader of the Vitalities Lab, Centre for Social Research in Health and Social Policy Centre, UNSW Sydney, and leader of the UNSW Node of the ARC Centre of Excellence for Automated Decision-Making and Society, UNSW Shutterstock ...22 hours ago
- âI want to make sure if something happens to one of my kids, they can come to meâ: fathers want ...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Katy Thomas, PhD Candidate, University of Tasmania Shutterstock In the media, parents can be portrayed as fearful and conservative when it comes to relationships and sexuality education. Parental concern about the appropriateness of such programs at school is often cited ...22 hours ago
- From Bruce Lee to Shang-Chi: a short history of the kung fu film in cinemaSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Joyleen Christensen, Senior lecturer, University of Newcastle With action sequences that are being hailed as some of the best in the history of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings is shaping up to overtake Black Widow ...22 hours ago
- Jacinda Ardern says fear not part of Covid-19 vaccine rollout strategyPrime Minister Jacinda Ardern denies using fear as a motivator for people to get vaccinated. ...23 hours ago
- Live updates, September 27: Jacinda Ardern v John Key â PM denies ruling âhermit kingdomâ by f...Welcome to The Spinoff’s live updates for September 27, by Stewart Sowman-Lund. Send me thoughts and feelings to stewart@thespinoff.co.nz. Help us keep you informed on Covid-19 – click here to learn how you can join The Spinoff Members. 8.00am: Ardern denies ruling ‘hermit kingdom’ by fear Prime minister Jacinda Ardern does not believe ...24 hours ago
- Why itâs time to change our archaic and unnecessary surrogacy laws In Aotearoa, parents who conceive via a surrogate must formally adopt a baby who was always intended to be theirs. Now, a member’s bill looks set to change a time-consuming, expensive and exhausting process. It’s about time, writes Hannah Gibson.At its essence, surrogacy is about people working together with others, ...24 hours ago
- Toni Street cracks open her past to share a life marked by griefLost and Found is a profound and brave addition to the celebrity memoir canon, writes Sam Brooks.Simply put: Toni Street, who has had a national audience of one kind or another for 15 years, has gone through a lot. It shouldn’t be a surprise. She’s written a memoir, and people ...24 hours ago
- Buy now, pay forever?Calls for buy-now, pay-later providers to be regulated as millions of dollars in late fees are paid annually by New Zealand consumers. Madeleine Chapman writes for The Bulletin.Buy now, pay forever?Consumer NZ is calling for buy-now, pay-later services to be regulated under the Credit Contracts and Consumer Finance Act after ...1 day ago
- Markets wary as Evergrande fate hangs in balance
Business & Investing: NZX's flat month continues as international markets fluctuate under the threat of collapse of the giant Chinese property company ...1 day ago - Newsroom daily quiz, Monday 27 September1 day ago
- Newsroom daily crossword, Monday 27 September1 day ago
- Facebookâs slow-motion reckoning is about much more than one companyA major newspaper investigation into misinformation and other harms on its platforms shows how enormous the Facebook problem has become, writes Hal Crawford.“The era of social media companies presenting themselves as passive conduits for user speech is coming to an end. The question is what will replace it.” Gilad Edelman, ...1 day ago
- Who *canât* get the Covid-19 vaccine?As vaccination rates continue to climb, the advice is clear that almost everyone 12 or over can safely roll up their arm for the Pfizer. But who can’t? Mirjam Guesgen sorts the rumour from the fact.Quick note to start: we’re not doctors. Consult your GP or Healthline for any specific ...1 day ago
- Anne Salmond: The case for nature-based forests
The use of 'permanent' plantations of pine trees solely to build up carbon offsets is solving one harm with another, writes Dame Anne Salmond. There is an alternative. As Argentinian ecologist Sandra Diaz said during the 2021 Nobel Prize Winners Summit: "We have incontestable evidence that the living fabric of ...1 day ago - Integrity checks causing wage subsidy payment delays, MSD says
NZ businesses have claimed close to $17b from the wage subsidy so far. But increased integrity checks are causing significant delays in processing tens of thousands of subsidy applications. ...1 day ago - Councils face tough calls on water reforms in pivotal week
More than 30 councils will this week hold meetings that are expected to pour cold water on the Government's reform plans ...1 day ago - Chickens in NZ writing – an investigation
Ten stories about chickens 1. NADIA LIM AND HER CHICKEN Nadia Lim, chef of the nation, wrote her first children's book last year. Marvellous Marvin (illustrated by Fifi Colston, published by Scholastic) is based on a chick that hatched in a muslin-lined cake tin balanced on a pile of books under ...1 day ago
Natzional’s last stand.
DriftWood.
Actually: adriftwood
King Canute tries to keep the land back.
On the beach redux
“Hear Ye, lowly molluscs and other sub-tidal entities….”
Tide goes out on National.
who is it..?
National – turning our backs to climate change.
woody pitches for a re-make of ‘the piano’..
..to be called ‘the lectern’…
Civil Defense finds Woodhouses’s speeches more effective than sirens at clearing beaches in an emergency
Potato lol -1000
this is the economic boat..
..that key/national promised to float…
our airforce..doing live-ammunition exercises…
‘woody’ recreates his ancestors arrival in nz..
..(i understand they brought nz’s first ever lectern with them..)
woody unveils groundbreaking new national party economic-initiative..
..the solar-powered/amphibious-lectern…
speaking to reporters woody extolled the export-possibilities of this ‘exciting’ new initiative..
..saying it will become de riguer for all politicians/captains-of-industry to have one..
..woody says that on a calm day..he pops over to waiheke on his..
..or he cruises the beaches of auckland..
..and can give speeches to both passing-craft..and beachgoers..
..’you can always feel secure’..said woody..’your genitals are always covered/protected..
..no more standing there feeling vulnerable/exposed/naked as you preach to the peasants..
..you just grab the no-slip grips on the poly-lectern..knowing yr family-jewels are protected on three sides’..
And now for something completely different
lol
“No.1: The Larch.”
Still lolling đ
lol also
Yep absolute LOL …
“I’m the king of the world!!”
At last St Woody, inspired by desperation, went down to the sea-shore, where the river runs into the sea, and having placed himself on a bank between the river and the sea, he began to speak to the fishes as if Woger had sent him to preach to them, and said: “Listen to the word of Woger, O ye fishes of the sea and of the river, and you rancid cetaceans, seeing that honest people and hard working people refuse to do so.”
All washed up.
tsunami? no its a left wing conspiracy i tell ya!
We shall go on to the end. We shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength on the air, we shall sell our islands, whatever the cost may be. We shall sell them on the beaches, we shall sell them on the landing grounds, we shall sell them in the fields and in the streets, we shall sell them in the hills; we shall surrender everything. For money.
To all of my supporters, gathered here today I say
John Key had a dream…
And here I am!
“There’s a woman down the end with a couple of kids and a bucket. Perhaps she wants to listen to me talk about how our new employment laws will help workers enjoy their lives ?”
That ladywith a bucket – any toheroa you find is Crown property!
woody suddenly realises..that for him..
..the tide will never come in..
“Ladies and gentlemen, in this lot we have the foreshore and seabed going for steal. Shall we commence the bidding! “
“Anyone makes a joke about John Key and a whale stranding and I’m off”
or (for the westie surfers): keyhole obscured by arsehole.
Lol
Galoot succeeds. The waves retreat under the crushing weight of his rhetoric!
âAll the inhabitants of the world should know that the power of kings is vain and trivial, and that none is worthy the name of king but He whose command the heaven, earth and sea obey by eternal lawsâ
As we await this fleet of China!s ships,we can say we welcome them,we are now approaching a new venture in our lands development,reaching out to a culture like ours, innovative,and not afraid to take risks.We look forward to doing business with this dynamic culture.
Who has the contract to make the gumboots,whats his name,Sushi,Sushi,no its HOE.
woody pitches for a (low-cost) remake of ‘all the presidents’ men’..
..starring him and his mate in the hat…
Nationals latest campaign to prove that they are in touch with ‘real New Zealanders’.
Michael Woodhouse says ” I like to go down and spend the day at the beach just like everybody else”.
If a National Minister speaks to an empty beach who will hold him to account?
Police Minister launches new version of cardboard cutout cop. Guaranteed for sea-level rises of up to 30cm.
And now for the next asset sale, new zealands forshore.
what do hear for an opening bid, who will start off with a bid of 5 billion?
Latest asset sale? New Zealand for sure!
in an effort to keep flights to the provinces I’m proud to call this new runway open, take it away captain
I always practice my speeches on the beach. No hecklers. And I write my promises out on the sand – transparent for all to see. There they are in black and white, or rather light brown, or even in fifty shades of grey heh heh my little joke, and anyone can come and look at them before the tide comes in. But then though they are hidden from the public, they lie in my heart.
National is constructing an ark to survive climate change, starting with the poop deck.
@Yeah
+1
Cops to target all lecterns this summer.
Police say there will be a no lectern tolerance level this summer. However, the evaluation couldn’t confirm the statistical significance of a lectern decreases because of the small numbers involved.
Prime N Z beachfront for sale to the highest bidder! Be quick, won’t last long!
Where do I tie up the Donkey!
Thanks for coming mum.
You keep dissing the Key Man, and all you commies will be swimming with the fishes.
More rubbish washes up on beach
…. ’cause John told me to…
“Minister releases new sections for affordable housing initiative”
Hehe
“F***. I shouldn’t have mentioned ebola.”
First hot-air powered hovercraft crosses Tasman
lolz much.
Michael’s press conference didn’t go as planned once the media recieved a text that one of ‘The Block’ contestants was spotted in Pak’N’Save.
From his twitter account, Woodlouse loves photo ops with sporting celebs and hobnobbing around the world on the taxpayers dime. Never heard of him til now. The Nats also enjoyed endorsements by famous All Blacks ON ELECTION DAY.
Labour aren’t the only ones who can have a Foreshore and Seabed Act.
“We must build but we must build surely.”
Party Political Beach-
“NZ beaches go under the hammer in latest government asset sale”.
Of course I can order everyone out of the water and off the beach for a couple of hoiurs, for a photo-op …. don;t you know I am?
(no)
There was Woody giving an otherwise dull speech to the House – when suddenly the PM’s Infinite Improbability Generator kicked in.
Redlogix
+1
As he drifted into the afterlife, Dobby imagined he was giving a speech on the desolate beach that would be his ending…
In order for the announcement of this new law to be legally binding it must be made on sovereign New Zealand owned soil. We are told due to a small error on a land sales document that this small section we have placed this stage on is the last piece of it left in New Zealand.
Ouch!
Woodhouse floundering!
Trying out Nationals new strategy of avoiding whaleoil tsunami!
Imbeachment
Clever clogs
First sea trial for Nationals new life raft,does not go well for junior minister.
“Auckland traffic gridlock? Where? It’s just another dirty left-wing conspiracy”.
the new minister for flotsom and jetsam speaks to his constituency..
nationals’ media-mavens come up with yet another absolutely brilliant idea…
woody has an unusual hobby…
woodys’ scrapbook:..
..what i did on my hols…
very poor turnout for the woody fanclub beach-day…
woody shows off his new beach-suit…
when woody gets all existential and angsty…
..he likes to take one of his favourite lecterns to the beach..
..so they can chill-out together…
man in hat:..
‘it’s been three hours minister…i don’t think anyones’ coming’..
minister waits for mr whippy van..
… and what’s more, JK would never bend over for CS.
minister releases policy on global warming, population explosion and sea level rise.
‘We have four of these, which proves we take seriously our response capability to any deep sea oil spill”.
That made me laugh you got my vote. đ
” The government has signed a contract with the Hyundai ship building yard in Ulsan, South Korea to have them built. The vessels will be delivered in the first quarter of the new year.
Two will be docked and utilized from Port Taranaki while the third and fourth will be shared between the East Coast of the North Is and the maritime jurisdictions of the Canterbury and Deep South basin’s.”
Minister issues apology for Climate Change policy.
Government announces new spying laws, ” The local seals have nothing to fear”
Government announces new spying laws, ” The local seals have nothing to fear”, the Minister said.
Only Navy Seals, the Minister further advised.
Phil j a series of bonny motes!
” USA Double Agent seeks asylum in Tolega Bay “
“Government Minister announces further DOC restructuring”
” Sex On The Beach is now illegal under new terrorist law “
“Man arrested for impersonating a Government Minister in a public place”
Newsflash!
” Minister declares leadership coup! “
…And the Floating Lectern Cup is still NZ’s cup. Eat that Jimmy Spithill.
….. and now I will I dig a hole in the sand and do my ostrich impersonation…..
Johns Keys flunky announces and reviews the new increased defense forces
New Zealands olympic bobsleigh unveiled
Nationals spokesman, announces new site of shallow graves for all the abandoned national policies
the intensive search for Paula Bennet fails
New Zealands new aircraft carrier had a few subtle flaws
National Flunkey, announces Life is a beach yet under National Life is a *********!
National Supporter shows off his ill gotten Ikea Lectern Gains in NZ Black Friday Sale
Aussie Invasion repulsed!
Anyone that finds the buried ego of Pete George,,,,,will be allowed to exit the country……
Santas sleigh now privatised and flogged off to highest bidder!
Ok, the bidding is currently at $10 dollars for complete drilling rights…….any other offers……going goingggggggggg.
I ordered a hovercraft…….send this back to amazon
GP spokesman, shows off new membership
At Davos In Switzerland, climate change denier, announces G20 to think about 0.9 % cut in co2 emissions
The prime minister pledged a new police vessel before the end of the year and despite a funding shortfall I am proud to launch this raft today.
And just up on the beach is the Crematorium thats why no one is here
Government unveils plans to save manufacturing and rescue the economy – Ladies and Gentlmen, introducing the wooden segway.