At last St Woody, inspired by desperation, went down to the sea-shore, where the river runs into the sea, and having placed himself on a bank between the river and the sea, he began to speak to the fishes as if Woger had sent him to preach to them, and said: “Listen to the word of Woger, O ye fishes of the sea and of the river, and you rancid cetaceans, seeing that honest people and hard working people refuse to do so.”
We shall go on to the end. We shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength on the air, we shall sell our islands, whatever the cost may be. We shall sell them on the beaches, we shall sell them on the landing grounds, we shall sell them in the fields and in the streets, we shall sell them in the hills; we shall surrender everything. For money.
“There’s a woman down the end with a couple of kids and a bucket. Perhaps she wants to listen to me talk about how our new employment laws will help workers enjoy their lives ?”
Galoot succeeds. The waves retreat under the crushing weight of his rhetoric! âAll the inhabitants of the world should know that the power of kings is vain and trivial, and that none is worthy the name of king but He whose command the heaven, earth and sea obey by eternal lawsâ
As we await this fleet of China!s ships,we can say we welcome them,we are now approaching a new venture in our lands development,reaching out to a culture like ours, innovative,and not afraid to take risks.We look forward to doing business with this dynamic culture.
Who has the contract to make the gumboots,whats his name,Sushi,Sushi,no its HOE.
Nationals latest campaign to prove that they are in touch with ‘real New Zealanders’.
Michael Woodhouse says ” I like to go down and spend the day at the beach just like everybody else”.
I always practice my speeches on the beach. No hecklers. And I write my promises out on the sand – transparent for all to see. There they are in black and white, or rather light brown, or even in fifty shades of grey heh heh my little joke, and anyone can come and look at them before the tide comes in. But then though they are hidden from the public, they lie in my heart.
Police say there will be a no lectern tolerance level this summer. However, the evaluation couldn’t confirm the statistical significance of a lectern decreases because of the small numbers involved.
From his twitter account, Woodlouse loves photo ops with sporting celebs and hobnobbing around the world on the taxpayers dime. Never heard of him til now. The Nats also enjoyed endorsements by famous All Blacks ON ELECTION DAY.
In order for the announcement of this new law to be legally binding it must be made on sovereign New Zealand owned soil. We are told due to a small error on a land sales document that this small section we have placed this stage on is the last piece of it left in New Zealand.
” The government has signed a contract with the Hyundai ship building yard in Ulsan, South Korea to have them built. The vessels will be delivered in the first quarter of the new year.
Two will be docked and utilized from Port Taranaki while the third and fourth will be shared between the East Coast of the North Is and the maritime jurisdictions of the Canterbury and Deep South basin’s.”
A listing of 28 news and opinion articles we found interesting and shared on social media during the past week: Sun, June 8, 2025 thru Sat, June 14, 2025. Stories we promoted this week, by category: Climate Science and Research (8 articles)Stefan Rahmstorf - Atlantic ocean circulation: a ...
As we all know, New Zealand Superannuation (NZ Super) faces a looming fiscal challenge, with costs projected to soar from $19 billion in 2025 (5% of GDP) to $45.3 billion by 2037 (~7% GDP) and 8% by 2060, driven by an ageing population (20% over 65 by 2036). As debates ...
Cartoonist: Musa GusmusOpinion:The assassination of Democrat lawmakers in America is regrettably predictable. Democratic House Speaker Emerita Melissa Hortman, 55, and her husband, Mark, 58, were both shot and killed at their home in Brooklyn Park in what Gov. Tim Walz called a “politically motivated assassination.”Another couple were also attacked: DFL ...
There’s a post still coming about farming and our future that spans oceans and centuries, but I’m sending something else today because time is of the essence. So: first some memories, and then some words from Sir Geoffrey Palmer about Seymour’s goddam bill.Before I share with you something written by ...
Skeptical Science is partnering with Gigafact to produce fact briefs — bite-sized fact checks of trending claims. You can submit claims you think need checking via the tipline. Was 1934 the hottest year in the global record? 1934 was a particularly hot year in the contiguous United States, but not globally ...
I have played less chess in recent times, largely out of frustration at my internet connection cutting out in the middle of Blitz games. But I have not given up my hope of ...
The NBR rich list has been published for 2025. The combined wealth of the 130 listed is $102.1 billion. In 2015 the 180 individuals and families listed had a combined wealth of $55 billion. According to the Reserve bank inflation calculator the percentage of change over the last decade was 32.9%. Given that ...
Yes, that subject again/still. Today, three main points: the comments by the Minister, including claims that she didn’t know why Orr had resigned the latest set of Quigley comments given to Newsroom’s Jonathan Milne, and (largely for the record) restating events around MPC appointments that are minimised by Milne ...
No hatred, no violenceNo starvation and no greedAnd no kings, no kingsNo kingsNo lies and no bulletsNo bombs and no needFor kings, no kingsNo kingsSong: Jesse Welles.Morena, all, as I begin writing, the missiles are flying, and it doesn’t matter which side is right or wrong to the people they ...
News that the US Department of Defence has launched an AUKUS review has Canberraâs defence circles in overdrive, with familiar critics already proclaiming the pact is ‘sinking’. Yet this outbreak of anxiety poses a bigger danger than ...
Hi,I have left the United States. But it’s much less dramatic than it sounds.This is a trip I’d been planning for months, and it has taken me out of the US. I’m in Manchester, here to see my best friend Rosabel who’s working on a project here in the land ...
Israelâs strikes against Iran will form the backdrop to New Zealand Prime Minister Christopher Luxonâs upcoming trip to China. Speaking in the immediate aftermath of the strikes at a scheduled press conference on Friday, Luxon characterised the strikes by Israel as âpotentially catastrophic for the Middle Eastâ, observing âthe last ...
The Governmentâs plans to remove the wellbeing provisions in the Public Finance Act represents a reversal of the way society is travelling. I welcomed the Ardern-Robertsonâs Government decision to focus on wellbeing in its budgets. It went on to amend the Public Finance Act to require the government to state ...
Australia must stop talking about being a middle power that punches above its weight. Talking about it is far less interesting to the rest of the world than Australia actually doing it. The occasion for ...
The Trump administration has ordered a review of AUKUS to be led by Undersecretary of Defense Policy Elbridge Colby. The review has some attendant risks, but also a potential upside for the three-way partnership. The ...
I do not mean to be pedantic about this sort of thing, but since it lies within my area of supposed “expertise,” here goes: Unlike what is being reported in the corporate media and by some defense officials, the Israeli strike on Iran was not “pre-emptive.” “Pre-emptive” means “a sudden ...
1. What would you let David Seymour or the people he put on a board decide for you?a. Whether to order the chicken or the flounderb. Whether to watch Dept Q or Sirens on Netflixc. Whether to read Ayn Rand or smack my head with a frypand. Nothing, not one ...
New story acceptance. My 2,000-word New Zealand folk-horror piece, The Patupaiarehe Concerto, has been accepted by Eternal Haunted Summer for their upcoming Summer Solstice issue, which has an overarching theme of music (https://eternalhauntedsummer.com/). ...
Excerpt: Open Letter to the Prime Minister of Aotearoa New Zealand, the Rt Hon Christopher LuxonRe: The Regulatory Standards Bill..This legislation would:Impose financial penalties on environmental action, making it a new and unprecedented expectation that the Crown would compensate corporations when laws to protect nature or the climate affect the ...
The post-coup Ukrainian government was the first to declare an anti-terrorist war – although their forces were the ones carrying ut terrorist acts against civilians in Eastern Ukraine. Russian politicians are starting to discuss the necessity of escalating the Russia-Ukraine war from a limited military operation into ...
Australia faces a growing dilemma: in attempting to ease genuine climate challenges, it is creating national security vulnerabilities by embedding Chinese smart technologies in critical infrastructure. This includes solar inverters and batteries. Electric vehicles, too, ...
The StrategistBy Tilla Hoja, James Corera and John Coyne
This morning as the Quigley/Orr/Board saga rumbles on I wanted to touch on three items: the latest comments from Board chair Neil Quigley (and the Minister’s comments on and to him) a reminder of where this all started, with the Board unanimously approving a budget last year far in ...
Australiaâs long-term interests in space are best served by independent capability, diversified international partnerships and a civil-led strategy that reflects national priorities. As global competition intensifies, Australia must avoid tying its trajectory to the political ...
The podcast above of the weekly ‘Hoon’ webinar for paying subscribers on Thursday night features co-hosts and talking with regular guests and about the week’s news in geopolitics and climate. This week’s Hoon featured special guest New Zealand freelance journalist Andrew Gunn speaking from Kyiv.The Hoon’s ...
Itâs a rare day when the New Zealand courts deliver a sharp reminder to the right-wing that actions have consequences, even for those whoâve built a career on peddling disinformation. Chantelle Baker, the self-styled âcitizen journalistâ and darling of New Zealandâs anti-vax, anti-government fringe, has been ordered to pay a whopping ...
..The latest two out of three polls for National are - to put it mildly - troubling.Fresh on the heels of Minister Nicola ‘NoBoats' Willis' austerity budget and the scrapping of thirtythree pay equity agreements to fund tax cuts for the already-rich, the public's appetite for this rightwing coalition government ...
Shane Jones is an outdated fossil of a minister. Born in 1959, his model of how our economy and society should look is stuck sometime in the late 70's: a dirty, fossil-fuel powered, racist, sexist, homophobic shitstain of a country which most of us never experienced, and most of those ...
Australiaâs defence manufacturers are essentially a cottage industry, with the average supplier employing only 13 people and achieving net annual sales of about $2.2 million. These averages, drawn from the annual review of the industry ...
Dr Robert Howell UN Secretary General: We are sleepwalking to climate catastrophe. In facing this wake up call, Dr Howell will describe the lessons to be learned from Wesfamers; the work of the External Reporting Board; the National Climate Change Risk Assessment for New Zealanders; and the Dasgupta Review.Dr Robert Howell ...
Beneath Taiwanâs high-profile fight for global recognition lies a parallel contest in capitals scattered across the Caribbean and the Pacific. This is Beijingâs relentless campaign to isolate Taiwan diplomaticallyâcountry by countryâuntil Taipei is left with ...
There is no depression in New ZealandThere are no sheep on our farmsThere is no depression in New ZealandWe can all keep perfectly calmPerfectly calm…Songwriters: Donald Bain Mcglashan / Richard Paul Von Sturmer.The National Party and farmers go together like Vogels and Vegemite - a classic Kiwi combo, based on ...
My Food Bag Co-Founders’ Tend Health approved to become a Government Primary Health Organisation (PHO)Opinion and analysis:In April, I wrote about My Food Bag Co-Founders James and Cecilia Robinson telehealth organisation, Tend, and its positive chances of securing government contracts.An industry contact wrote this in response to me at the ...
A hardy perennial in Ottawa politics is whether Canada should create a foreign intelligence service equivalent to the United Statesâ Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) or Britainâs Secret Intelligence Service (SIS, aka MI6). If it does, ...
Council of Trade Unions Secretary Melissa Ansell-Bridges has taken New Zealand’s pay equity fight to the International Labour Organisation conference in Geneva. Opposition parties say the government should be going much further, much faster in sanctioning Israel. Government ministers did not get advice on what the changes to pay equity ...
The recent sanctions placed on just two Israeli ministers, Itamar Ben-Gvir and Bezalel Smotrich, by New Zealand, alongside Australia, Canada, Norway, and the United Kingdom, mark a timid but critical step toward halting Israelâs relentless genocide.However, targeting these two for their vile incitement of violence against Palestinians is the bare ...
In my post yesterday, I documented a whole series of ways in which Neil Quigley, Reserve Bank board chair (appointed by the Minister of Finance) appeared to have actively misled the public (and overseen the misleading of Reserve Bank staff) on the day Adrian Orr’s resignation was announced. Some of ...
Australia needs to coordinate national digital infrastructure investment and resilience or risk falling behind in security and missing economic opportunities. For the past decade, Australia has focused outward on projects such as funding regional telecommunications ...
Hi,I don’t think any Webworm readers will be surprised to know that I’m drawn to stories of narcissistic men getting away with terrible things for decades. Tickled was about a New Yorker pulling the strings from behind a computer. Mister Organ saw an over zealous parking attendant who liked to ...
The abrupt resignation of Reserve Bank Governor Adrian Orr is a blaring siren that New Zealandâs economic foundations are being relentlessly jackhammered by Nicola Willisâ unyielding austerity obsession. Orr was effectively ousted after a fierce funding dispute with the Finance Minister, who appears determined to gut budgets left, right, and centre ...
My blog-post the other day alludes to the divergence between what J.R.R. Tolkien was, and what people think Tolkien was. And, while I was at it, to the similar divergence concerning George R.R. ...
After decades of watching the US prop up dictatorships in Central America, South America and the Middle East, thereâs a certain irony in seeing authoritarian rule play out on the streets of Los Angeles. No doubt, Donald Trumpâs deployment of the National Guard – and the US Marines! – to ...
This video includes personal musings and conclusions of the creator climate scientist Dr. Adam Levy. It is presented to our readers as an informed perspective. Please see video description for references (if any). To stop global warming, carbon emissions need to be cut to net zero as quickly as possible. And ...
The United States is moving to integrate its land-based PAC-3 surface-to-air missile onto warships. This effort presents an opportunity to enhance key Australian Defence Force capabilities and support sovereign R&D and industryâbut quick work is ...
Surprises I will always greet with astonished delight:ChocolatesFlowersChocolate FishSeveral hundred lawyers suing the government for being absolutely useless about the climate crisis Two groups representing over 300 environment lawyers are suing the New Zealand government over its "dangerously inadequate" emissions reduction plan. They say the coalitio… Read more ...
Months after various OIAs had been lodged on the question of Adrian Orr’s sudden departure on 5 March, we finally got a partial dump of documents this morning. (Sufficiently mishandled that at 10:04 this morning they’d send an email to OIA requesters saying they’d email out the response at 10:45 ...
As South Koreaâs new administration takes office, the country has the opportunity to recalibrate its alignments in the Indo-Pacific, especially around closer defence and technology cooperation with Australia. The strategic rationale for this becomes stronger ...
Last night, after nearly two years of genocide in Gaza, the New Zealand government finally began to do the right thing, and sanctioned two Israeli cabinet ministers for promoting genocide. Which is a good first step, but its not enough. Firstly, the sanctions are just a travel ban, saying "you ...
There's an interesting article on The Spinoff, worried that with so many parties ruling out working with each other, MMP is collapsing back into left-right, "winner take all" politics. It points to a shift back to the pre-MMP elected dictatorship model of government by decree, "outsized" influence of small parties, ...
The recent drone attacks on Russian strategic bombers were welcomed by many Western politicians but condemned by some US politicians. Why the controversy? After all, it is widely accepted that the Ukrainian military has a right to attempt to disable or destroy those Russian long-range bombers that are ...
So when you hear themMake claims of progressTake a good lookAnd see who isn't thereWe need a seat nowAt the tableSo please invite usOr don't pretend to care.Songwriter: Gaelynn Lea.Today’s newsletter is on Disability Support Services (DSS). It follows last week’s announcement by the Minister for Disability Issues, Louise Upston, ...
The law on pay equity was changed without any prior warning during the election campaign, without any select committee process. It has shocked New Zealand women and gutted fundamental rights Come and hear from pay equity experts including women whose claims have been cancelled and what the plan is from ...
For paid subscribersIt’s 2023, and National have won the most votes in the New Zealand election. Their long cultivated coalition with ACT is assured, and to the chagrin of Christopher Luxon and David Seymour, their respective party leaders, they will have to invite NZ First along for the ride.Government party ...
Australia and the European Union need to collaborate to promote the adoption of inclusive, safe and sustainable AI in the South Pacific. While the United States and China compete for global AI leadership, the EU ...
In New Zealandâs murky right-wing scene, a cast of propagandists peddles fear and division. From anti-vax crusaders to culture war stirrers, these figures exploit distrust, offering noise over solutions. Hereâs another rundown of some key and bit players, exposing their tactics and selective outrage in New Zealand's polarised political landscape.Alia ...
It used to be so simple. An intelligence officer could fly to a country, change passports and, with a false identity, emerge as a completely different person. But those days are long since over. Biometrics ...
Hi,Late yesterday afternoon — after leaving the Metropolitan Detention Centre with puffy eyes and a scratchy throat — I’d wandered to Little Tokyo to get a cold drink. It tasted awesome.Tonight at around 9pm I went back there to find a very different scene. Little Tokyo was closed and the ...
Australia must be prepared for limited nuclear war in the Indo-Pacific, be it over Taiwan, the Korean Peninsula, or beyond. It should understand what such a conflict would mean for regional and global security, and ...
One of the basic foundations of democratic civil-military relations is that the active duty military is organised and trained to fight and defeat foreign enemies in combat–that is, by using organised lethal force until the enemy is defeated. Domestic security is a matter of national/federal, state and local law enforcement. ...
Frame OneInto LA go Trump's forces, and into LA go his lies.Modern politics is a framing war.It’s a system that keeps rewarding the wrong people.It’s a system that keeps rewarding the lie that tells people what they want to hear.It’s a system that Donald Trump instinctively understands.Never mind that the ...
History haunts Solomon Islands. More than two decades after the end of the Tensions of 1998 to 2003, the fractures that prompted ethnic conflict between Guadalcanal and Malaita communities remain deep in politics, society and ...
For paid subscribersSharing this proposal on a light work day -Winston Peters “reamed the pension” and then tried to sue once it was found out - costing taxpayers at least $1m in legal fees Read more ...
The New Zealand Council of Trade Unions Te Kauae Kaimahi welcomes the legal action taken against the Minister of Climate Change by a coalition of legal experts as an important step in ensuring that Aotearoa meets its climate action obligations. âWe strongly support legal action to ensure that the Government ...
The National-led government is once again trying to increase immigration with their Parent Boost Visa, a five-year, multi-entry scheme for parents of migrants who already live in New Zealand. This move, dressed up as a boost for âfamily unityâ and âeconomic growth,â has sparked fury among right-wing groups, exposing the ...
For the past 20 years, agriculture has been the glaring gap in our climate change policy. Responsible for 50% of our emissions, it was initially excluded from the ETS, and then - under Green Pressure - was to be slowly bought in at a 90% subsidy. But National repealed all ...
Like Prime Minister Christopher Luxon, who claimed âshockâ over his press secretaryâs litany of misconduct, Finance Minister Nicola Willis proclaiming dismay today rings hollow. Michael Forbes, accused of illegally recording women, including sex workers, without consent, was allowed to resign rather than face dismissal.Nicola Willisâ claim that the âsituation is ...
December 2024 Wednesday 18 DecemberDecember 18, 2024The Government has announced a 1.5% increase in the minimum wage from 1 April 2025, well below forecast inflation of 2.5%. Unions have reacted strongly and denounced it as a real terms cut.… Read More »Wednesday 18 DecemberFriday 13 DecemberDecember 13, 2024More public service ...
290 library workers across Christchurch will get a pay rise to reflect the âtrue valueâ of their work, despite the abrupt cancellation of their pay equity claim, due to a strong commitment to pay equity from Christchurch City Council. Care workers at the countryâs largest provider of MÄori-based support for ...
Australiaâs National Intelligence Community could substantially enhance Australiaâs  climate security response. It could do so by applying its surveillance resources to the task. The 2024 Independent Intelligence Review lists transnational challengesâwhich includes climate changeâas one ...
I got chills, they're multiplyingAnd I'm losing control'Cause the power you're supplyingIt's electrifyingSongwriter: John Farrar.This morning Breakfast’s Chris Chang (CC) interviewed Chippy, and boy was he an enthusiast of your National-led government, if we can call them that.“‘Everyone Must Go’, remember that controversial tourism slogan the government spent $500,000 on ...
Australia’s ports may be busy, but we have no way of ensuring that ships will keep coming to them in wartime. In an age of contested supply chains, strategic competition and rising instability, this absence ...
This is a re-post from Yale Climate Connections The Trump administration has taken an ostrich-like approach to climate change. The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency is required to publish a report about the country’s sources of climate-changing pollution each year by April 15. This year, that didn’t happen. But the completed report ...
Te PÄti MÄori Co-leader and MP for Waiariki, Rawiri Waititi, has slammed the Rotorua Lakes Councilâs treatment of homeless whÄnau as âinhumane and disgraceful,â following the forced police removal of people sleeping outside the Salvation Army on Amohia Street yesterday. âOur most vulnerable whÄnau were woken by police, trespassed like ...
The Green Party says the Governmentâs newly announced Biodiversity Credit scheme is a tiny positive that doesnât undo the biodiversity harm caused by the Luxon Government. ...
A new report, âOutcomes for tamariki and rangatahi MÄori and their whÄnau in the oranga tamariki system 2023/24,â has confirmed that Oranga Tamariki is severely failing our most vulnerable MÄori youth. ...
Last week, world-leading climate scientists called out the Governmentâs approach to agricultural emissions. This week, climate lawyers have sued the Government because its Emissions Reductions Plans do not add up. ...
Te PÄti MÄori condemns the Israeli navyâs armed interception of the Madleen, a civilian aid vessel carrying food, medical supplies, and international activists to Gaza, including Greta Thunberg. Communications of the Madleen have been cut, and there is no knowing if the crew are safe and unharmed. This is the ...
The Green Party is calling for the safe passage of the Madleen, a civilian aid vessel on course to Gaza, following the Freedom Flotilla being seized by the Israeli Military and urging the New Zealand Government to sanction Israel for its illegal occupation of Palestine. ...
Thanks to a successful community-led campaign backed by Labour, Lower North Island locals are today celebrating the toll-free opening of Te Ahu a Turanga â ManawatĆ« Tararua Highway. ...
The Green Party is calling out the Governmentâs parent boost changes that benefit a wealthier minority while doing nothing to help reunite thousands of migrant families. ...
The Green Party condemns the unprecedented decision to suspend Te PÄti MÄori co-leaders Debbie Ngarewa-Packer and Rawiri Waititi for 21 days, and MP for Hauraki-Waikato Hana-RÄwhiti Maipi-Clarke for 7 days. ...
The Government is quietly leaving some of our poorest families hundreds of dollars worse off, ignoring warnings that changes to the accommodation supplement and public housing subsidies will disproportionately target disabled, older, MÄori, Pasifika, and young people. ...
Today, Te PÄti MÄori co-leader Rawiri Waititi slammed the Finance and Expenditure Select Committeeâs refusal to extend the public submission period for the Regulatory Standards Bill, calling it a deliberate act to silence whÄnau, hapĆ«, iwi, and community voices. Waititi had urged the Committee to extend the submission period by ...
Workforce shortages that mental health Minister Matt Doocey tried to hide are now resulting in increasing pressure on our emergency departments as people needing help have nowhere else to go. ...
Te PÄti MÄori join health professionals, medical bodies, and community organisations across Aotearoa in calling on Te Whatu Ora to immediately release the updated Guidelines for Gender Affirming Healthcare. The guidelines were developed by medical professionals with expertise in this form of care and approved by Te Whatu Oraâs National ...
Todayâs sweeping changes to environmental protections paint a damning picture of a government hellbent on profit at all costs, openly allowing more environmentally harmful activities under the guise of progress. ...
The Governmentâs latest move to unwind the âpay parityâ regime carefully negotiated between government and the sector is a kick in the teeth for already undervalued and underpaid kaiako. ...
The Green Party echoes the call from health professionals, medical bodies, and community organisations for Te Whatu Ora to urgently release the guidelines for gender affirming care. ...
Good Morning. It is a pleasure to be in Jakarta again today. Indonesia is an absolute priority for the New Zealand government, which is why we have now visited here four times since re-taking office as New Zealand Foreign Minister in late 2023. Indonesia is one of New Zealandâs oldest friends ...
Foreign Minister Winston Petersâ visit to Indonesia today has secured tangible progress in New Zealandâs relationship with Southeast Asiaâs most populous nation. âIndonesia is an indispensable partner for New Zealand,â Mr Peters says. âDemonstrating our commitment to the relationship, this is our fourth visit to Indonesia in the past 18 ...
His Excellency Sugiono, Minister for Foreign Affairs of the Republic of Indonesia, and Rt Hon Winston Peters, Minister of Foreign Affairs of New Zealand, convened the 12th meeting of the Joint Ministerial Commission (JMC) on 13th June 2025 in Jakarta, Indonesia. The Ministers welcomed meeting in person, underscoring the importance ...
At least four new rapidly deployable relocatable inpatient units will be rolled out across the country to ensure hospitals can continue delivering care to patients while major infrastructure projects are underway, Health Minister Simeon Brown says. âThese new inpatient units â part of the Governmentâs $1 billion Budget 2025 investment ...
The Government is tackling talent shortages in manufacturing and boosting New Zealandâs economic recovery by fast-tracking residency for skilled tradespeople. âWe know how important skilled workers are to the resilience of the manufacturing sector. When we donât have enough people to fill these roles, productivity slows, business growth stalls and the ...
Attorney-General Judith Collins today announced the appointment of Liz Gellert as an Associate Judge of the High Court. Associate Judge Gellert graduated from the University of Auckland in 2003 with a Bachelor of Laws (Honours) and a Bachelor of Arts. She was a law clerk with David Williams KC before ...
The Government is delivering 32 more safe, warm and dry classrooms and a major school redevelopment for Kiwi kids living in the Central North Island. âAs communities continue to grow, we remain committed to future-proofing our education system so parents have certainty about where to send their child to school. ...
The Government is expanding the permitted voltage range for electricity networks, so Kiwis with solar panels can send more power back to the grid. Changes are being made to clarify that a building consent is not needed to install rooftop solar panels on existing buildings. Councils will be required to ...
A successful programme to help MÄori health providers lift childhood immunisation rates will be renewed, Health Minister Simeon Brown says. "The Immunising our Tamariki programme, originally launched in 2023 by Hon Dr Shane Reti, invested $50 million in MÄori health providers to deliver targeted, community-based immunisation outreach. It aims to ...
Forestry, Trade and Investment Minister Todd McClay, today announced at the Fieldays Forestry Hub, both inbound and outbound forestry trade missions with India this year, aimed at strengthening trade links, deepening industry ties, and unlocking greater value for both countriesâ forestry and wood processing sectors. âIndia is one of the ...
A Judicial Conduct Panel will inquire into and report on the alleged conduct of acting District Court Judge Ema Aitken, Acting Attorney-General Paul Goldsmith says. âJudge Aitkenâs alleged conduct at the Northern Club on 22 November 2024 was the subject of a preliminary examination by the Judicial Conduct Commissioner. âThe ...
PrimeâŻMinister Christopher Luxon will travel to China and Europe next week. He will be joined in Shanghai and Beijing with a delegation of senior New Zealand business leaders. âChina is New Zealandâs largest trading partner and a vital part of our economic story,â Mr Luxon says. The visit will focus on ...
Forestry Minister Todd McClay today congratulated the winners of the inaugural Growing Native Forests Champions Awards for driving real progress in native forest establishment and land use innovation. âThis is what good land management looks like â native forests that support both the environment and the rural economy,â Mr McClay ...
New Zealand has extended its commitment the Operation Gallant Phoenix multinational intelligence mission in Jordan, the Government announced today. The deployment of up to 10 New Zealand Defence Force and Police personnel has been extended for two years until June 2027. âThis operation is essential to our commitment to a ...
Health Minister Simeon Brown has today announced funding for the first stage of a major project to upgrade and expand interventional radiology services at Auckland City Hospital. âThis project will significantly improve access to radiology services for patients across Auckland and beyond,â Mr Brown says. âA $41.2 million investment will ...
The return of wool carpets to state homes has been welcomed by Economic Growth Minister Nicola Willis and Associate Agriculture Minister Mark Patterson. State housing agency KÄinga Ora announced today that from next month, a new supplier agreement will deliver woollen carpets for the fit-out of new state homes. âThe ...
The Government is supporting the expansion of a voluntary credits nature market through the running of pilot projects across New Zealand. Establishing a market that is durable, measurable and transparent will help farmers, landowners, iwi, and conservation groups unlock new income streams for looking after nature on their land, Associate ...
Farmers, growers, foresters, fishers and primary processors are driving New Zealandâs economic recovery with export revenue on track to surpass $60 billion for the first time, Agriculture and Forestry Minister Todd McClay announced today at Fieldays. âThe latest Situation and Outlook for Primary Industries (SOPI) report forecasts export earnings of ...
A key milestone in the push for a more connected digital economy has been reached, with over one million businesses now registered with a New Zealand Business Number (NZBN), Small Business and Manufacturing Minister Chris Penk says. âThe NZBN is a simple idea with a big impact. It gives each ...
New Zealandâs aquaculture sector has experienced double-digit growth in export revenue over the past year, sending a clear signal that more is to come from the enormously promising sector, Oceans and Fisheries Minister Shane Jones says. The forecast export results were released today as part of the latest Situation and ...
More than 9,500 additional procedures have now been delivered as part of the Governmentâs elective boost, Health Minister Simeon Brown says. âThis is what putting patients first looks like. We are focused on increasing delivery of elective treatments â across both public and private hospitals â to reduce wait times ...
Foreign Minister Winston Peters has concluded a constructive visit to Italy, marking 75 years of diplomatic relations. Mr Peters and Italyâs Foreign Minister Antonio Tajani met in Rome overnight and confirmed the strength of the bilateral relationship that New Zealand and Italy share. âNew Zealand and Italy are long-standing ...
A new agreement between the Government and key livestock industry groups marks a major milestone in New Zealandâs readiness for a potential foot and mouth disease (FMD) outbreak, Biosecurity Minister Andrew Hoggard announced today. âThe Foot and Mouth Disease Operational Agreement confirms how Government and industry will jointly prepare for, ...
Public consultation begins today aimed at improving the legal aid scheme for those who cannot afford advice and representation, Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith says. âWe have a duty to ensure all New Zealanders have access to justice by means of a fair and open process. âTo do so, we need ...
Energy Minister Simon Watts has announced the Governmentâs new Solar on Farms initiative, which will support farmers in taking the next step towards installing solar and battery systems, helping them reduce energy costs, increase on-farm resilience, and allow farmers to gain greater control over their power use, leading to increased ...
New Zealand is raising its game on the global stage with a new Grass-Fed certification scheme to help our red meat and dairy producers go head-to-head with competitors in premium international markets, Prime Minister Christopher Luxon and Agriculture Minister Todd McClay announced today at Fieldays. âInternational consumers are increasingly willing ...
The Government is backing a $17 million partnership with farmers to boost productivity, profitability, and sustainability by identifying the most resilient, high-performing pastures for New Zealand conditions, Agriculture Minister Todd McClay announced today at Fieldays. Minister McClay confirmed the Government will invest $8.269 million in the Resilient Pastures project through ...
Health Minister Simeon Brown has welcomed the clearance of a significant radiology backlog at Taranaki Base Hospital, calling it a practical outcome that puts patients first. âIn March, more than 6,000 x-ray reports were sitting unprocessed at Taranaki Base Hospital. That was causing unacceptable delays for patients needing diagnosis and ...
City-shaping changes are coming to New Zealandâs largest city, ensuring that Auckland can fully harness the economic growth benefits of the new City Rail Link, RMA Reform Minister Chris Bishop and Auckland Minister Simeon Brown say. The Resource Management (Consenting and Other System Changes) Amendment Bill (the Bill) has been ...
The Government is stepping up support for rural New Zealand with a $4 million Rural Wellbeing Fund to expand investment in community-based initiatives, Agriculture and Forestry Minister Todd McClay announced today at Fieldays. âThe establishment of this fund is a result of advocacy by Federated Farmers Chair, Wayne Langford, who ...
Applications have opened for a $30 million fund for projects that will enhance the resilience of New Zealandâs coastal shipping connections and help boost economic growth, Associate Transport Minister James Meager has announced. The Coastal Shipping Resilience Fund was established through the Government Policy Statement on land transport. Funding will ...
Foreign Minister Winston Peters has taken part in two major international events in Nice, France this week, focused on Pacific resilience, prosperity and security. The sixth Pacific-France Summit, hosted by French President Emmanuel Macron, took place in Nice overnight. âThe Summit brought together Pacific countries for discussions with France on ...
New Zealand has joined Australia, Canada, the UK and Norway in placing travel bans on two extremist Israeli politicians, Foreign Minister Winston Peters says. The bans will prevent Israelâs Finance Minister Bezalel Smotrich and National Security Minister Itamar Ben-Gvir from travelling to New Zealand. âOur action today is not against ...
6th Pacific-France Summit Intervention by New Zealand Minister of Foreign Affairs, Rt Hon Winston Peters Nice, France, Tuesday 10 June 2025 Thank you, President Macron, for convening this meeting today, the sixth Pacific-France Summit. We were privileged to have also been at the second Pacific-France Summit, during the Presidency of ...
TÄnÄ koutou katoa. Thank you for the warm welcome. It is my pleasure to welcome you all to MEETINGS 2025. First, I would like to acknowledge Mayor Wayne Brown attending MEETINGS 2025 today and a special acknowledgment to NgÄti Whatua Orakei for their pĆwhiri and welcome. I would also like ...
The Government is increasing funding for attracting overseas visitors and investing in tourism infrastructure as part of its new Tourism Growth Roadmap, Tourism and Hospitality Minister Louise Upston says. âWeâre investing $35 million to deliver the first stage of the Roadmap, which sets out the Governmentâs plan to double the ...
Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith is welcoming changes to toughen up the proposed anti-stalking law, including being triggered after two specified acts within 24 months. âThis change better recognises patterns in stalking behaviour and time that can pass between incidents. For example, stalking that occurs around anniversaries would not be covered ...
I am delighted to be here in Singapore once again, to speak to you in my capacity as New Zealandâs Minister for Resources and Associate Minister for Energy. If you havenât heard of me before today, Iâm proud to declare myself the champion of New Zealandâs petroleum and minerals sector. ...
Thank you all for the invitation to speak with you this morning. I have been looking forward to this opportunity. May is a busy month for the Government, and it is always a relief to have the Budget delivered. Today, I would like to speak about what I see as ...
The government is boosting support for rural resilience and wellbeing announced by Mental Health Minister Matt Doocey and Rural Communities Minister Mark Patterson. âWeâre backing Rural Support Trusts by committing $3 million over the next four years, to help improve rural communitiesâ access to primary mental health services and specialist ...
COMMENTARY:By Antony Loewenstein War is good for business and geopolitical posturing. Before Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu arrived in Washington in early February for his first visit to the US following President Donald Trumpâs inauguration, he issued a bold statement on the strategic position of Israel. âThe decisions we ...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Ian Parmeter, Research Scholar, Middle East Studies, Australian National University Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has said Israelâs attack on Iranâs nuclear facilities could last for at least two weeks. His timing seems precise for a reason. The Israel Defence Forces and ...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Joaquin Vespignani, Associate Professor of Economics and Finance, University of Tasmania The weekend attacks on Iranâs oil facilities â widely seen as part of escalating hostilities between Israel and Iran â represent a dangerous moment for global energy security. While the physical ...
By Anish Chand in Suva The son of a Fiji assistant minister is under investigation for allegedly driving a government vehicle without authority and causing an accident that killed two men. The accident took place along Bau Road, Nausori, last night. The vehicle involved in the accident was the official ...
The great Aotearoa writer Maurice Gee has died. Books editor Claire Mabey pays tribute. Maurice Gee has died at the age of 93. In a statement sent to media, Geeâs children Nigel, Emily and Abigail Gee confirmed that their father died peacefully in his longtime home in Nelson, the inspiration ...
âThis is a direct attack on the ability of local communities to safeguard their coastal environments,â said EDS Chief Operating Officer Shay Schlaepfer. ...
Asia Pacific Report The Islamic Council of New Zealand (ICONZ) has protested over Israelâs âunprovoked military strikesâ against Iran, killing at least 80 people â 20 of them children, and called on the NZ government to publicly condemn Israeliâs actions. An open letter to Prime Minister Christopher Luxon, read out ...
For electorate MPs, weekends are generally spent in the community meeting constituents. Louis Collins popped into a morning tea Q&A hosted by Matt Doocey. ...
Joker is King Jester Seymour and King Lux stroll on the railway platform. âYouâll look after the place when Iâm away,?â Asks King Lux anxiously. âOf course,â replies the stable, reliable and sensible Jester. King Lux chuffs away on his train to Erewhon. Jester Seymour walks up to Lord Winston, ...
ByRamzy Baroud and Romana Rubeo Unlike the Palestinian message, the Israeli message is not global, but very much a localised cry for help â get us out of Gaza. This is not your typical video. The event itself might be similar to numerous other events in Gaza â a ...
Asia Pacific Report Labour MP for Te Atatu Phil Twyford criticsed the New Zealand government today for failing to take stronger action against Israel over its genocide and starvation strategy in Gaza, saying that at the very least the ambassador should be expelled. Speaking at a rally in Henderson organised ...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Ali Mamouri, Research Fellow, Middle East Studies, Deakin University The scale of Israelâs strikes on multiple, sensitive Iranian military and nuclear sites on Friday was unprecedented. It was the biggest attack on Iran since the IranâIraq War in the 1980s. As ...
ER Report: Here is a summary of significant articles published on EveningReport.nz on June 14, 2025. Fijian in Abu Dhabi worried about Pacific communities in Middle EastBy Susana Suisuiki, Presenter/producer of RNZ Pacific Waves Fijiâs Embassy in Abu Dhabi says it is closely monitoring the situation in Iran and Israel ...
Health Minister Simeon Brown says he wants the health system "focused on delivering faster care, shorter wait times, higher immunisation rates, and real results". ...
By Susana Suisuiki, Presenter/producer of RNZ Pacific Waves Fijiâs Embassy in Abu Dhabi says it is closely monitoring the situation in Iran and Israel as tensions remain high. Israel carried out a dozen strikes against Iranian military and nuclear sites on Friday, claiming it acted out of âself-defenceâ, saying Iran ...
On a mid summer day in the snow tussock grasslands of the rugged Lammermoor Range in Otago more than 40 years ago, butterfly scientist Brian Patrick made the most memorable discovery of his career. Six new species of native moths. Despite more than 5,000 butterfly hunting expeditions the entomologist immediately ...
Mike Hosking I’ve struggled with the Jacinda Ardern book. It seems to have pages in it, quite a few pages, and that’s a sure sign, isn’t it, of a narcissistic disorder. And these pages have words. You guessed it âa lot of words. I said to my wife, “Kate,” I ...
Opinion: The Regulatory Standards Bill (RSB) is a dangerous piece of legislation, inspired by libertarian ideas that seek to free the flow of capital from democratic constraints. In a number of respects, it expresses a contempt for collective rights and responsibilities, public goals and values, and liberal democracy. First, ...
Opinion: New Zealandâs productivity problem has long been recognised. For decades, reports from the Treasury, the Productivity Commission, the OECD and others have told a consistent story: our economy grows by adding more people and more hours, not by producing more value per hour worked. But the International Monetary Fundâs ...
Madeleine Chapman reflects on the week that was. I was going to write a short, silly thing about how everyone should get back into wearing singlets as undergarments in the winter. But then I read an article published by our national broadcaster that made me feel like Iâd travelled back ...
His name sits above the title of most of his plays. It might even sit above the phrase âNew Zealand theatreâ. Sam Brooks speaks to Sir Roger Hall about paving the way for an entire artform.The countryâs most successful playwright cuts an unassuming figure. He is unostentatiously dressed, peers ...
The beloved childrenâs TV presenter takes us through her life in television. Ask a certain generation of New Zealanders about their childhood, and theyâll reply with two words: Suzy Cato. Since the early 1990s, Cato has been a warm and colourful presence on our television screens, when she began hosting ...
Nadine Hura, author of a new book about the whakapapa of climate change, unpacks how she found her way inside the language that best articulates the âwhyâ of the climate crisis.I went looking for a language to slow the sun. I thought it was my fault I didnât understand ...
For the final week of the Kia Mau festival, we review holding fun-erals for dead nannies and a speed-cycle history of Asian-New Zealand theatre. (We were going to see more shows, but the flu took us out.)Read reviews from week one here.Tƫī GirlsTƫi Girls starts as you ...
Sheâs sold him a book two Saturdays in a row, and on the third Saturday she notices how he waits until sheâs free. “Just this, thanks.” Itâs her staff pick for the week. “Good choice,” she says. She pops it in a bag as he taps his card to pay. ...
COMMENTARY: By Eugene DoyleI have visited Iran twice. Once in June 1980 to witness an unprecedented event: the worldâs first Islamic Revolution. It was the very start of my writing career.The second time was in 2018 and part of my interest was to get a sense of how ...
ANALYSIS:By Jonathan Cook in Middle East Eye If you imagined Western politicians and media were finally showing signs of waking up to Israelâs genocide in Gaza, think again. Even the decision this week by several Western states, led by the UK, to ban the entry of Bezalel Smotrich and ...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Hassan Vally, Associate Professor, Epidemiology, Deakin University simonkr/Getty Images On Thursday afternoon local time, an Air India passenger plane bound for London crashed shortly after takeoff from the northwestern Indian city of Ahmedabad. There were reportedly 242 people onboard, including two ...
Analysis and Notes by Selwyn Manning: Prep for Radio New Zealand – Israel Strikes Against Iran – June 13, 2025. Listen to the audio from 3:00 minutes in. Selwyn Manning, editor of EveningReport.nz. Over the last 24 hours, the atomic control agency IAEA (International Atomic Energy Agency) formed a ...
Analysis and Notes by Selwyn Manning: Prep for Radio New Zealand – Israel Strikes Against Iran – June 13, 2025. Selwyn Manning, editor of EveningReport.nz. Over the last 24 hours, the atomic control agency IAEA (International Atomic Energy Agency) formed a view at its UN Geneva meeting, that there was ...
Natzional’s last stand.
DriftWood.
Actually: adriftwood
King Canute tries to keep the land back.
On the beach redux
“Hear Ye, lowly molluscs and other sub-tidal entities….”
Tide goes out on National.
who is it..?
National – turning our backs to climate change.
woody pitches for a re-make of ‘the piano’..
..to be called ‘the lectern’…
Civil Defense finds Woodhouses’s speeches more effective than sirens at clearing beaches in an emergency
Potato lol -1000
this is the economic boat..
..that key/national promised to float…
our airforce..doing live-ammunition exercises…
‘woody’ recreates his ancestors arrival in nz..
..(i understand they brought nz’s first ever lectern with them..)
woody unveils groundbreaking new national party economic-initiative..
..the solar-powered/amphibious-lectern…
speaking to reporters woody extolled the export-possibilities of this ‘exciting’ new initiative..
..saying it will become de riguer for all politicians/captains-of-industry to have one..
..woody says that on a calm day..he pops over to waiheke on his..
..or he cruises the beaches of auckland..
..and can give speeches to both passing-craft..and beachgoers..
..’you can always feel secure’..said woody..’your genitals are always covered/protected..
..no more standing there feeling vulnerable/exposed/naked as you preach to the peasants..
..you just grab the no-slip grips on the poly-lectern..knowing yr family-jewels are protected on three sides’..
And now for something completely different
lol
“No.1: The Larch.”
Still lolling đ
lol also
Yep absolute LOL …
“I’m the king of the world!!”
At last St Woody, inspired by desperation, went down to the sea-shore, where the river runs into the sea, and having placed himself on a bank between the river and the sea, he began to speak to the fishes as if Woger had sent him to preach to them, and said: “Listen to the word of Woger, O ye fishes of the sea and of the river, and you rancid cetaceans, seeing that honest people and hard working people refuse to do so.”
All washed up.
tsunami? no its a left wing conspiracy i tell ya!
We shall go on to the end. We shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength on the air, we shall sell our islands, whatever the cost may be. We shall sell them on the beaches, we shall sell them on the landing grounds, we shall sell them in the fields and in the streets, we shall sell them in the hills; we shall surrender everything. For money.
To all of my supporters, gathered here today I say
John Key had a dream…
And here I am!
“There’s a woman down the end with a couple of kids and a bucket. Perhaps she wants to listen to me talk about how our new employment laws will help workers enjoy their lives ?”
That ladywith a bucket – any toheroa you find is Crown property!
woody suddenly realises..that for him..
..the tide will never come in..
“Ladies and gentlemen, in this lot we have the foreshore and seabed going for steal. Shall we commence the bidding! “
“Anyone makes a joke about John Key and a whale stranding and I’m off”
or (for the westie surfers): keyhole obscured by arsehole.
Lol
Galoot succeeds. The waves retreat under the crushing weight of his rhetoric!
âAll the inhabitants of the world should know that the power of kings is vain and trivial, and that none is worthy the name of king but He whose command the heaven, earth and sea obey by eternal lawsâ
As we await this fleet of China!s ships,we can say we welcome them,we are now approaching a new venture in our lands development,reaching out to a culture like ours, innovative,and not afraid to take risks.We look forward to doing business with this dynamic culture.
Who has the contract to make the gumboots,whats his name,Sushi,Sushi,no its HOE.
woody pitches for a (low-cost) remake of ‘all the presidents’ men’..
..starring him and his mate in the hat…
Nationals latest campaign to prove that they are in touch with ‘real New Zealanders’.
Michael Woodhouse says ” I like to go down and spend the day at the beach just like everybody else”.
If a National Minister speaks to an empty beach who will hold him to account?
Police Minister launches new version of cardboard cutout cop. Guaranteed for sea-level rises of up to 30cm.
And now for the next asset sale, new zealands forshore.
what do hear for an opening bid, who will start off with a bid of 5 billion?
Latest asset sale? New Zealand for sure!
in an effort to keep flights to the provinces I’m proud to call this new runway open, take it away captain
I always practice my speeches on the beach. No hecklers. And I write my promises out on the sand – transparent for all to see. There they are in black and white, or rather light brown, or even in fifty shades of grey heh heh my little joke, and anyone can come and look at them before the tide comes in. But then though they are hidden from the public, they lie in my heart.
National is constructing an ark to survive climate change, starting with the poop deck.
@Yeah
+1
Cops to target all lecterns this summer.
Police say there will be a no lectern tolerance level this summer. However, the evaluation couldn’t confirm the statistical significance of a lectern decreases because of the small numbers involved.
Prime N Z beachfront for sale to the highest bidder! Be quick, won’t last long!
Where do I tie up the Donkey!
Thanks for coming mum.
You keep dissing the Key Man, and all you commies will be swimming with the fishes.
More rubbish washes up on beach
…. ’cause John told me to…
“Minister releases new sections for affordable housing initiative”
Hehe
“F***. I shouldn’t have mentioned ebola.”
First hot-air powered hovercraft crosses Tasman
lolz much.
Michael’s press conference didn’t go as planned once the media recieved a text that one of ‘The Block’ contestants was spotted in Pak’N’Save.
From his twitter account, Woodlouse loves photo ops with sporting celebs and hobnobbing around the world on the taxpayers dime. Never heard of him til now. The Nats also enjoyed endorsements by famous All Blacks ON ELECTION DAY.
Labour aren’t the only ones who can have a Foreshore and Seabed Act.
“We must build but we must build surely.”
Party Political Beach-
“NZ beaches go under the hammer in latest government asset sale”.
Of course I can order everyone out of the water and off the beach for a couple of hoiurs, for a photo-op …. don;t you know I am?
(no)
There was Woody giving an otherwise dull speech to the House – when suddenly the PM’s Infinite Improbability Generator kicked in.
Redlogix
+1
As he drifted into the afterlife, Dobby imagined he was giving a speech on the desolate beach that would be his ending…
In order for the announcement of this new law to be legally binding it must be made on sovereign New Zealand owned soil. We are told due to a small error on a land sales document that this small section we have placed this stage on is the last piece of it left in New Zealand.
Ouch!
Woodhouse floundering!
Trying out Nationals new strategy of avoiding whaleoil tsunami!
Imbeachment
Clever clogs
First sea trial for Nationals new life raft,does not go well for junior minister.
“Auckland traffic gridlock? Where? It’s just another dirty left-wing conspiracy”.
the new minister for flotsom and jetsam speaks to his constituency..
nationals’ media-mavens come up with yet another absolutely brilliant idea…
woody has an unusual hobby…
woodys’ scrapbook:..
..what i did on my hols…
very poor turnout for the woody fanclub beach-day…
woody shows off his new beach-suit…
when woody gets all existential and angsty…
..he likes to take one of his favourite lecterns to the beach..
..so they can chill-out together…
man in hat:..
‘it’s been three hours minister…i don’t think anyones’ coming’..
minister waits for mr whippy van..
… and what’s more, JK would never bend over for CS.
minister releases policy on global warming, population explosion and sea level rise.
‘We have four of these, which proves we take seriously our response capability to any deep sea oil spill”.
That made me laugh you got my vote. đ
” The government has signed a contract with the Hyundai ship building yard in Ulsan, South Korea to have them built. The vessels will be delivered in the first quarter of the new year.
Two will be docked and utilized from Port Taranaki while the third and fourth will be shared between the East Coast of the North Is and the maritime jurisdictions of the Canterbury and Deep South basin’s.”
Minister issues apology for Climate Change policy.
Government announces new spying laws, ” The local seals have nothing to fear”
Government announces new spying laws, ” The local seals have nothing to fear”, the Minister said.
Only Navy Seals, the Minister further advised.
Phil j a series of bonny motes!
” USA Double Agent seeks asylum in Tolega Bay “
“Government Minister announces further DOC restructuring”
” Sex On The Beach is now illegal under new terrorist law “
“Man arrested for impersonating a Government Minister in a public place”
Newsflash!
” Minister declares leadership coup! “
…And the Floating Lectern Cup is still NZ’s cup. Eat that Jimmy Spithill.
….. and now I will I dig a hole in the sand and do my ostrich impersonation…..
Johns Keys flunky announces and reviews the new increased defense forces
New Zealands olympic bobsleigh unveiled
Nationals spokesman, announces new site of shallow graves for all the abandoned national policies
the intensive search for Paula Bennet fails
New Zealands new aircraft carrier had a few subtle flaws
National Flunkey, announces Life is a beach yet under National Life is a *********!
National Supporter shows off his ill gotten Ikea Lectern Gains in NZ Black Friday Sale
Aussie Invasion repulsed!
Anyone that finds the buried ego of Pete George,,,,,will be allowed to exit the country……
Santas sleigh now privatised and flogged off to highest bidder!
Ok, the bidding is currently at $10 dollars for complete drilling rights…….any other offers……going goingggggggggg.
I ordered a hovercraft…….send this back to amazon
GP spokesman, shows off new membership
At Davos In Switzerland, climate change denier, announces G20 to think about 0.9 % cut in co2 emissions
The prime minister pledged a new police vessel before the end of the year and despite a funding shortfall I am proud to launch this raft today.
And just up on the beach is the Crematorium thats why no one is here
Government unveils plans to save manufacturing and rescue the economy – Ladies and Gentlmen, introducing the wooden segway.