At last St Woody, inspired by desperation, went down to the sea-shore, where the river runs into the sea, and having placed himself on a bank between the river and the sea, he began to speak to the fishes as if Woger had sent him to preach to them, and said: “Listen to the word of Woger, O ye fishes of the sea and of the river, and you rancid cetaceans, seeing that honest people and hard working people refuse to do so.”
We shall go on to the end. We shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength on the air, we shall sell our islands, whatever the cost may be. We shall sell them on the beaches, we shall sell them on the landing grounds, we shall sell them in the fields and in the streets, we shall sell them in the hills; we shall surrender everything. For money.
“There’s a woman down the end with a couple of kids and a bucket. Perhaps she wants to listen to me talk about how our new employment laws will help workers enjoy their lives ?”
Galoot succeeds. The waves retreat under the crushing weight of his rhetoric! âAll the inhabitants of the world should know that the power of kings is vain and trivial, and that none is worthy the name of king but He whose command the heaven, earth and sea obey by eternal lawsâ
As we await this fleet of China!s ships,we can say we welcome them,we are now approaching a new venture in our lands development,reaching out to a culture like ours, innovative,and not afraid to take risks.We look forward to doing business with this dynamic culture.
Who has the contract to make the gumboots,whats his name,Sushi,Sushi,no its HOE.
Nationals latest campaign to prove that they are in touch with ‘real New Zealanders’.
Michael Woodhouse says ” I like to go down and spend the day at the beach just like everybody else”.
I always practice my speeches on the beach. No hecklers. And I write my promises out on the sand – transparent for all to see. There they are in black and white, or rather light brown, or even in fifty shades of grey heh heh my little joke, and anyone can come and look at them before the tide comes in. But then though they are hidden from the public, they lie in my heart.
Police say there will be a no lectern tolerance level this summer. However, the evaluation couldn’t confirm the statistical significance of a lectern decreases because of the small numbers involved.
From his twitter account, Woodlouse loves photo ops with sporting celebs and hobnobbing around the world on the taxpayers dime. Never heard of him til now. The Nats also enjoyed endorsements by famous All Blacks ON ELECTION DAY.
In order for the announcement of this new law to be legally binding it must be made on sovereign New Zealand owned soil. We are told due to a small error on a land sales document that this small section we have placed this stage on is the last piece of it left in New Zealand.
” The government has signed a contract with the Hyundai ship building yard in Ulsan, South Korea to have them built. The vessels will be delivered in the first quarter of the new year.
Two will be docked and utilized from Port Taranaki while the third and fourth will be shared between the East Coast of the North Is and the maritime jurisdictions of the Canterbury and Deep South basin’s.”
A few weeks ago an invitation dropped into my email inbox to attend a joint Treasury/Motu seminar on recent, rather major, changes that had apparently been made to the discount rates used by The Treasury to evaluate proposals from government agencies. It was all news to me, but when ...
All your life is Time magazineI read it tooWhat does it mean?PressureI'm sure you'll have some cosmic rationaleBut here you are with your faithAnd your Peter Pan adviceYou have no scars on your faceAnd you cannot handle pressureSongwriter: Billy Joel.Christopher Luxon is under pressure from all sides. The reviews are ...
After seeing yet-more-months of political debate and policy decisions to ‘go for growth’ by pulling the same old cheap migration and cheap tourism levers without nearly-enough infrastructure, or any attempt to address the same old lack of globally conventional tax incentives for investment, I thought it would be worth issuing ...
The plans for the buildings that will replace the downtown carpark have been publicly notified giving us the first detailed glance at what is proposed for one of the biggest and best development sites in the city centre. The council agreed to sell the site to Precinct Properties for $122 ...
With the Reserve Bank expected today to return the Official Cash Rate to where it was in mid-2022 comes a measure of how much of a psychological impact the rate has. Federated Farmers has published its latest six-monthly farm confidence survey, which shows that profit expectations have fallen and risen ...
Kiwis Disallowed From Waiting Lists Based on Arbitrary MeasuresWellington hospital are now rejecting patients from specialist waiting lists due to BMI (body mass index).This article from Rachel Thomas for The Post says it all (emphasis mine):A group of Porirua GPs are sounding alarm bells after patients with body mass indexes ...
The Prime Minister says he's really comfortable with us not knowing the reoffending rate for his boot camp programme.They asked him for it at yesterday’s press conference, and he said, nah, not telling, have to respect people's privacy.Okay I'll bite. Let's say they release this information to us:The rate of ...
Warning 1: There is a Nazi theme at the end of this article related to the disabled community. Warning 2: This article could be boring!One day, last year, I excitedly opened up a Substack post that was about how to fight back, and the answer at the end was disappointing ...
This may be rhetorical but here goes: did any of you invest in the $Libra memecoin endorsed and backed by Argentine president and darling of the global Right Javier Milei (who admitted to being paid a fee for his promotion of the token)? You know, the one that soared above ...
Last week various of the great and good of New Zealand economics and public policy trooped off to Hamilton (of all places) for the annual Waikato Economics Forum, one of the successful marketing drives of university’s Vice-Chancellor. My interest was in the speeches delivered by the Minister of Finance and ...
The Prime Minister says the Government would be open to sending peacekeepers to Ukraine if a ceasefire was reached. The government has announced a $30 million spend on tourism infrastructure and biodiversity projects, including $11m spent to improve popular visitor sites and further $19m towards biodiversity efforts. A New Zealand-born ...
This is a re-post from The Climate Brink by Andrew Dessler “But what about when the sun doesn't shine?!” Ah yes, the energy debate’s equivalent of “The Earth is flat!” Every time someone mentions solar or wind power, some self-proclaimed energy expert emerges from the woodwork to drop this supposedly devastating truth bomb: ...
This post by Nicolas Reid was originally published on Linked in. It is republished here with permission.In this article I look into data on how well the rail network serve New Zealanders, and how many people might be able to travel by train⊠if we ran more than a ...
Hi,Before we get into Hayden Donnell’s new column about how yes, Donald Trump is definitely the Antichrist, I wanted to touch on something feral that happened in New Zealand last week.Members of Destiny Church pushed and punched their way into an Auckland library, apparently angry it was part of Pride ...
Despite delays, logjams and overcrowding in our emergency departments, funding constraints are limiting the numbers of nurses and doctors being trained. Photo: Lynn Grieveson / The KākāLong stories short, the top six things in Aotearoa’s political economy around housing, climate and poverty on Tuesday, February 18 are:A NZ Herald investigation ...
Now that the US has ripped up the Atlantic alliance, Europe is more vulnerable now than at any time since the mid-1930s. Apparently, Europe and Ukraine itself will not have a seat at the table in the talks between US President Donald Trump and Russian leader Vladimir Putin that will ...
Olivia and Noah and Hana are going to the library!It is fun to go to the library. It has books and songs and mat time and people who smile at you and say, Hello Olivia, what have you been doing this morning?The library is more fun than the mall. At ...
New World Orders: The challenge facing Christopher Luxon and Chris Hipkins is how to keep their small and vulnerable nation safe and stable in a world whose economic and political climate the forty-seventh American president is changing so profoundly.IT IS, SURELY, the ultimate Millennial revenge fantasy. Calling senior Baby-Boomer and Gen-X ...
âThis might surprise you, Laurie, but I reckon Trumpâs putting on a bloody impressive performance.ââGOODNESS ME, HANNAH, just look at all those Valentineâs Day cards!ââOccupational hazard, Laurie, the more beer I serve, the more my customers declare their undying love!ââCrikey! I had no idea business was so good.â Laurie squinted ...
In 2005, Labour repealed the long-standing principle of birthright citizenship in Aotearoa. Why? As with everything else Labour does, it all came down to austerity: "foreign mothers" were supposedly "coming to this country to give birth", and this was "put[ting] pressure on hospitals". Then-Immigration Minister George Hawkins explicitly gave this ...
And I just hope that you can forgive usBut everything must goAnd if you need an explanation, nationThen everything must goSongwriters: James Dean Bradfield / Sean Anthony Moore / Nicholas Allen Jones.Today, I’d like to talk about a couple of things that happened over the weekend:Brian Tamaki’s Library Invasion and ...
New reporting highlights how Brooke van Velden refuses to meet with the CTU but is happy to meet with fringe Australian-based unions. Van Velden is pursuing reckless changes to undermine the personal grievance system against the advice of her own officials. Engineering New Zealand are saying that hundreds of engineers ...
The NZCTU strongly supports the Employment Relations (Employee Remuneration Disclosure) Amendment Bill. This Bill represents a positive step towards addressing serious issues around unlawful disparities in pay by protecting workersâ rights to discuss their pay and conditions. This Bill also provides welcome support for helping tackle the prevalent gender and ...
Years of hard work finally paid off last week as the country’s biggest and most important transport project, the City Rail Link reached a major milestone with the first test train making its way slowly though the tunnels for the first time. This is a fantastic achievement and it is ...
Engineers are pleading for the Government to free up funds to restart stalled projects. File Photo: Lynn Grieveson / The KākāLong stories short, the top six things in Aotearoa’s political economy around housing, climate and poverty on Monday, February 17 are:Engineering New Zealand CEO Richard Templer said yesterday hundreds of ...
It’s one of New Zealand’s great sustaining myths: the spirit of ANZAC, our mates across the ditch, the spirit of Earl’s Court, Antipodeans united against the world. It is also a myth; it is not reality. That much was clear from a series of speakers, including a former Australian Prime ...
Many people have been unsatisfied for years that things have not improved for them, some as individuals, many more however because their families are clearly putting in more work, for less money – and certainly far less purchase on society. This general discontent has grown exponentially since the GFC. ...
A listing of 34 news and opinion articles we found interesting and shared on social media during the past week: Sun, February 9, 2025 thru Sat, February 15, 2025. This week's roundup is again published soleley by category. We are still interested in feedback to hone the categorization, so if ...
The Salvation Army’s State of the Nation report shows worsening food poverty and housing shortages mean more than 400,000 people now need welfare support, the highest level since the 1990s. Photo: Lynn Grieveson / The KākāLong stories short, the top six things in our political economy around housing, climate and ...
You're just too too obscure for meOh you don't really get through to meAnd there's no need for you to talk that wayIs there any less pessimistic things to say?Songwriters: Graeme DownesToday, I thought we’d take a look at some of the most cringe-inducing moments from last week, but don’t ...
Please note: I’ve delayed my “What can we do?” article for this video.The video above shows Destiny Church members assaulting staff and librarians as they pushed through to a room of terrified parents and young children.It was posted to social media last night.But if you read Sinead Boucher’s Stuff, you ...
Skeptical Science is partnering with Gigafact to produce fact briefs — bite-sized fact checks of trending claims. You can submit claims you think need checking via the tipline. Is sea level rise exaggerated? Sea levels are rising at an accelerating rate, not stagnating or decreasing. Warming global temperatures cause land ice ...
Here is a scenario, but first a historical parallel. Hitler and the Nazis could well have accomplished everything that they wanted to do within German borders, including exterminating Jews, so long as they confined their ambitious to Germany itself. After all, the world pretty much sat and watched as the ...
I’ve spent the last couple of days in Hamilton covering Waikato University’s annual NZ Economics Forum, where (arguably) three of the most influential people in our political economy right now laid out their thinking in major speeches about the size and role of Government, their views on for spending, tax ...
Simeon Brown’s Ideology BentSimeon Brown once told Kiwis he tries to represent his deep sense of faith by interacting “with integrity”.“It’s important that there’s Christians in Parliament…and from my perspective, it’s great to be a Christian in Parliament and to bring that perspective to [laws, conversations and policies].”And with ...
Severe geological and financial earthquakes are inevitable. We just donât know how soon and how they will play out. Are we putting the right effort into preparing for them?Every decade or so the international economy has a major financial crisis. We cannot predict exactly when or exactly how it will ...
Questions1. How did Old Mate Grabaseat describe his soon-to-be-Deputy-PM’s letter to police advocating for Philip Polkinghorne?a.Ill-advisedb.A perfect letterc.A letter that will live in infamyd.He had me at hello2. What did Seymour say in response?a.What’s ill-advised is commenting when you don’t know all the facts and ...
NZCTU Te Kauae Kaimahi President Richard Wagstaff has called on OJI Fibre Solutions to work with the government, unions, and the community before closing the Kinleith Paper Mill. âOJI has today announced 230 job losses in what will be a devastating blow for the community. OJI needs to work with ...
NZCTU Te Kauae Kaimahi President Richard Wagstaff is sounding the alarm about the latest attack on workers from Minister of Workplace Relations and Safety Brooke van Velden, who is ignoring her own officials to pursue reckless changes that would completely undermine the personal grievance system. âBrooke van Veldenâs changes will ...
Hi,When I started writing Webworm in 2020, I wrote a lot about the conspiracy theories that were suddenly invading our Twitter timelines and Facebook feeds. Four years ago a reader, John, left this feedback under one of my essays:It’s a never ending labyrinth of lunacy which, as you have pointed ...
And if you said this life ain't good enoughI would give my world to lift you upI could change my life to better suit your moodBecause you're so smoothAnd it's just like the ocean under the moonOh, it's the same as the emotion that I get from youYou got the ...
Aotearoa remains the minorityâs birthright, New Zealand the majorityâs possession. WAITANGI DAY commentary see-saws manically between the warmly positive and the coldly negative. Many New Zealanders consider this a good thing. They point to the unexamined patriotism of July Fourth and Bastille Day celebrations, and applaud the fact that the ...
The podcast above of the weekly ‘Hoon’ webinar for paying subscribers on Thursday night features co-hosts & talking about the week’s news with regular and special guests, including: and on the week in geopolitics, including the latest from Donald Trump’s administration over Gaza and Ukraine; on the ...
Up until now, the prevailing coalition view of public servants was that there were simply too many of them. But yesterday the new Public Service Commissioner, handpicked by the Luxon Government, said it was not so much numbers but what they did and the value they produced that mattered. Sir ...
In a moment we explore the question: What is Andrew Bayly wanting to tell ACC, and will it involve enjoying a small wine tasting and then telling someone to fuck off? But first, for context, a broader one: What do we look for in a government?Imagine for a moment, you ...
As expected, Donald Trump just threw Ukraine under the bus, demanding that it accept Russia's illegal theft of land, while ruling out any future membership of NATO. Its a colossal betrayal, which effectively legitimises Russia's invasion, while laying the groundwork for the next one. But Trump is apparently fine with ...
A ballot for a single member's bill was held today, and the following bill was drawn: Employment Relations (Collective Agreements in Triangular Relationships) Amendment Bill (Adrian Rurawhe) The bill would extend union rights to employees in triangular relationships, where they are (nominally) employed by one party, but ...
This is a guest post by George Weeks, reviewing a book called ‘How to Fly a Horse’ by Kevin AshtonBook review: Â âHow to Fly a Horseâ by Kevin Ashton (2015) â and what it means for Auckland. The title of this article might unnerve any Greater Auckland ...
This story was originally published by Capital & Main and is part of Covering Climate Now, a global journalism collaboration strengthening coverage of the climate story. Within just a week, the sheer devastation of the Los Angeles wildfires has pushed to the fore fundamental questions about the impact of the climate crisis that have been ...
In this world, it's just usYou know it's not the same as it wasSongwriters: Harry Edward Styles / Thomas Edward Percy Hull / Tyler Sam JohnsonYesterday, I received a lovely message from Caty, a reader of Nick’s Kōrero, that got me thinking. So I thought I’d share it with you, ...
In past times a person was considered “unserious” or “not a serious” person if they failed to grasp, behave and speak according to the solemnity of the context in which they were located. For example a serious person does not audibly pass gas at Church, or yell “gun” at a ...
Long stories short, the top six things in Aotearoa’s political economy around housing, climate and poverty on Thursday, February 13 are:The coalition Government’s early 2024 ‘fiscal emergency’ freeze on funding, planning and building houses, schools, local roads and hospitals helped extend and deepen the economic and jobs recession through calendar ...
For obvious reasons, people feel uneasy when the right to be a citizen is sold off to wealthy foreigners. Even selling the right to residency seems a bit dubious, when so many migrants who are not millionaires get turned away or are made to jump through innumerable hoops â simply ...
A new season of White Lotus is nearly upon us: more murder mystery, more sumptuous surroundings, more rich people behaving badly.Once more we get to identify with the experience of the pampered tourist or perhaps the poorly paid help; there's something in White Lotus for all New Zealanders.And unlike the ...
In 2016, Aotearoa shockingly plunged to fourth place in the Transparency International Corruption Perceptions Index. Nine years later, and we're back there again: New Zealand has seen a further slip in its global ranking in the latest Corruption Perceptions Index (CPI). [...] In the latest CPI New Zealand's score ...
1. You’ve started ranking your politicians on how much they respect the rule of law2. You’ve stopped paying attention to those news publications3. You’ve developed a sudden interest in a particular period of history4. More and more people are sounding like your racist, conspiracist uncle.5. Someone just pulled a Nazi ...
Transforming New Zealand: Brian EastonBrian Easton will discuss the above topic at 2/57 Willis Street, Wellington at 5:30pm on Tuesday 26 February at 2/57 Willis Street, WellingtonThe sub-title to the above is "Why is the Left failing?" Brian Easton's analysis is based on his view that while the ...
Salvation Armyâs State of the Nation 2025 report highlights falling living standards, the highest unemployment rates since the 1990s and half of all Pacific children going without food. There are reports of hundreds if not thousands of people are applying for the same jobs in the wake of last year’s ...
Mountain Tui is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.Correction: On the article The Condundrum of David Seymour, Luke Malpass conducted joint reviews with Bryce Wilkinson, the architect of the Regulatory Standards Bill - not Bryce Edwards. The article ...
Tomorrow the council’s Transport, Resilience and Infrastructure Committee meet and agenda has a few interesting papers. Council’s Letter of Expectation to Auckland Transport Every year the council provide a Letter of Expectation to Auckland Transport which is part of the process for informing AT of the council’s priorities and ...
All around in my home townThey're trying to track me down, yeahThey say they want to bring me in guiltyFor the killing of a deputyFor the life of a deputySongwriter: Robert Nesta Marley.Support Nick’s Kōrero today with a 20% discount on a paid subscription to receive all my newsletters directly ...
Hi,I think all of us have probably experienced the power of music — that strange, transformative thing that gets under our skin and helps us experience this whole life thing with some kind of sanity.Listening and experiencing music has always been such a huge part of my life, and has ...
Business frustration over the stalled economy is growing, and only 34% of voters are confidentNicola Willis can deliver. Photo: Lynn Grieveson / The KākāLong stories short, the top six things in Aotearoa’s political economy around housing, climate and poverty on Wednesday, February 12 are:Business frustration is growing about a ...
I have now lived long enough to see a cabinet minister go both barrels on their Prime Minister and not get sacked.It used to be that the PM would have a drawer full of resignations signed by ministers on the day of their appointment, ready for such an occasion. But ...
This session will feature Simon McCallum, Senior Lecturer in Engineering and Computer Science (VUW) and recent Labour Party candidate in the Southland Electorate talking about some of the issues around AI and how this should inform Labour Party policy. Simon is an excellent speaker with a comprehensive command of AI ...
The proposed Waimate garbage incinerator is dead: The company behind a highly-controversial proposal to build a waste-to-energy plant in the Waimate District no longer has the land. [...] However, SIRRL director Paul Taylor said the sales and purchase agreement to purchase land from Murphy Farms, near Glenavy, lapsed at ...
âThe ACT Party canât be bothered putting an MP on one of the Justice subcommittees hearing submissions on their own Treaty Principles Bill,â Labour Justice Spokesperson Duncan Webb said. ...
The Governmentâs newly announced funding for biodiversity and tourism of $30-million over three years is a small fraction of what is required for conservation in this country. ...
The Government's sudden cancellation of the tertiary education funding increase is a reckless move that risks widespread job losses and service reductions across New Zealand's universities. ...
Nationalâs cuts to disability support funding and freezing of new residential placements has resulted in significant mental health decline for intellectually disabled people. ...
The hundreds of jobs lost needlessly as a result of the Kinleith Mill paper production closure will have a devastating impact on the Tokoroa community - something that could have easily been avoided. ...
Today Te PÄti MÄori MP for Te Tai Tokerau, Mariameno Kapa-Kingi, released her members bill that will see the return of tamariki and mokopuna MÄori from state care back to te iwi MÄori. This bill will establish an independent authority that asserts and protects the rights promised in He Whakaputanga ...
The Whangarei District Council being forced to fluoridate their local water supply is facing a despotic Soviet-era disgrace. This is not a matter of being pro-fluoride or anti-fluoride. It is a matter of what New Zealanders see and value as democracy in our country. Individual democratically elected Councillors are not ...
Nicola Willisâ latest supermarket announcement is painfully weak with no new ideas, no real plan, and no relief for Kiwis struggling with rising grocery costs. ...
Half of Pacific children sometimes going without food is just one of many heartbreaking lowlights in the Salvation Armyâs annual State of the Nation report. ...
The Salvation Armyâs State of the Nation report is a bleak indictment on the failure of Government to take steps to end poverty, with those on benefits, including their children, hit hardest. ...
New Zealand First has today introduced a Memberâs Bill which would restore decision-making power to local communities regarding the fluoridation of drinking water. The âFluoridation (Referendum) Legislation Billâ seeks to repeal the Health (Fluoridation of Drinking Water) Amendment Act 2021 that granted centralised authority to the Direct General of Health ...
New Zealand First has introduced a Memberâs Bill aimed at preventing banks from refusing their services to businesses because of the current âEnvironmental, Social, and Governance (ESG) Frameworkâ. âThis Bill ensures fairness and prevents ESG standards from perpetuating woke ideology in the banking sector being driven by unelected, globalist, climate ...
Erica Stanford has reached peak shortsightedness if todayâs announcement is anything to go by, picking apart immigration settings piece by piece to the detriment of the New Zealand economy. ...
Our originating document, the Treaty of Waitangi, was signed on February 6, 1840. An agreement between MÄori and the British Crown. Initially inked by NgÄ Puhi in Waitangi, further signatures were added as it travelled south. The intention was to establish a colony with the cession of sovereignty to the Crown, ...
Te Whatu Ora Chief Executive Margie Apa leaving her job four months early is another symptom of this governmentâs failure to deliver healthcare for New Zealanders. ...
The Green Party is calling for the Prime Minister to show leadership and be unequivocal about Aotearoa New Zealandâs opposition to a proposal by the US President to remove Palestinians from Gaza. ...
The latest unemployment figures reveal that job losses are hitting MÄori and Pacific people especially hard, with MÄori unemployment reaching a staggering 9.7% for the December 2024 quarter and Pasifika unemployment reaching 10.5%. ...
Waitangi 2025: Waitangi Day must be community and not politically driven - Shane Jones Our originating document, the Treaty of Waitangi, was signed on February 6, 1840. An agreement between MÄori and the British Crown. Initially inked by NgÄ Puhi in Waitangi, further signatures were added as it travelled south. ...
Despite being confronted every day with people in genuine need being stopped from accessing emergency housing â National still wonât commit to building more public houses. ...
The Green Party says the Government is giving up on growing the countryâs public housing stock, despite overwhelming evidence that we need more affordable houses to solve the housing crisis. ...
Before any thoughts of the New Year and what lies ahead could even be contemplated, New Zealand reeled with the tragedy of Senior Sergeant Lyn Fleming losing her life. For over 38 years she had faithfully served as a front-line Police officer. Working alongside her was Senior Sergeant Adam Ramsay ...
Green Party co-leader Marama Davidson will return to politics at Waitangi on Monday the 3rd of February where she will hold a stand up with fellow co-leader Chlöe Swarbrick. ...
Te PÄti MÄori is appalled by the government's blatant mishandling of the school lunch programme. David Seymourâs âcost-savingâ measures have left tamariki across Aotearoa with unidentifiable meals, causing distress and outrage among parents and communities alike. âWhatâs the difference between providing inedible food, and providing no food at all?â Said ...
The Government is doubling down on outdated and volatile fossil fuels, showing how shortsighted and destructive their policies are for working New Zealanders. ...
Green Party MP Steve Abel this morning joined Coromandel locals in Waihi to condemn new mining plans announced by Shane Jones in the pit of the townâs Australian-owned Gold mine. ...
The Green Party is calling on the Government to strengthen its just-announced 2030-2035 Nationally Determined Contribution (NDC) under the Paris Agreement and address its woeful lack of commitment to climate security. ...
The Governmentâs commitment to get New Zealandâs roads back on track is delivering strong results, with around 98 per cent of potholes on state highways repaired within 24 hours of identification every month since targets were introduced, Transport Minister Chris Bishop says. âIncreasing productivity to help rebuild our economy is ...
The former Cadbury factory will be the site of the Inpatient Building for the new Dunedin Hospital and Health Minister Simeon Brown says actions have been taken to get the cost overruns under control. âToday I am giving the people of Dunedin certainty that we will build the new Dunedin ...
From today, Plunket in WhÄngarei will be offering childhood immunisations â the first of up to 27 sites nationwide, Health Minister Simeon Brown says. The investment of $1 million into the pilot, announced in October 2024, was made possible due to the Governmentâs record $16.68 billion investment in health. It ...
New Zealandâs strong commitment to the rights of disabled people has continued with the response to an important United Nations report, Disability Issues Minister Louise Upston has announced. Of the 63 concluding observations of the United Nations Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities (UNCRPD), 47 will be progressed ...
Resources Minister Shane Jones has launched New Zealandâs national Minerals Strategy and Critical Minerals List, documents that lay a strategic and enduring path for the mineral sector, with the aim of doubling exports to $3 billion by 2035. Mr Jones released the documents, which present the Coalition Governmentâs transformative vision ...
Firstly I want to thank OceanaGold for hosting our event today. Your operation at Waihi is impressive. I want to acknowledge local MP Scott Simpson, local government dignitaries, community stakeholders and all of you who have gathered here today. Itâs a privilege to welcome you to the launch of the ...
Racing Minister, Winston Peters has announced the Government is preparing public consultation on GST policy proposals which would make the New Zealand racing industry more competitive. âThe racing industry makes an important economic contribution. New Zealand thoroughbreds are in demand overseas as racehorses and for breeding. The domestic thoroughbred industry ...
Business confidence remains very high and shows the economy is on track to improve, Economic Growth Minister Nicola Willis says. âThe latest ANZ Business Outlook survey, released yesterday, shows business confidence and expected own activity are âstill both very highâ.â The survey reports business confidence fell eight points to +54 ...
Enabling works have begun this week on an expanded radiology unit at Hawkeâs Bay Fallen Soldiersâ Memorial Hospital which will double CT scanning capacity in Hawkeâs Bay to ensure more locals can benefit from access to timely, quality healthcare, Health Minister Simeon Brown says. This investment of $29.3m in the ...
The Government has today announced New Zealandâs second international climate target under the Paris Agreement, Climate Change Minister Simon Watts says. New Zealand will reduce emissions by 51 to 55 per cent compared to 2005 levels, by 2035. âWe have worked hard to set a target that is both ambitious ...
Nine years of negotiations between the Crown and iwi of Taranaki have concluded following Te Pire Whakatupua mĆ Te KÄhui Tupua/the Taranaki Maunga Collective Redress Bill passing its third reading in Parliament today, Treaty Negotiations Minister Paul Goldsmith says. âThis Bill addresses the historical grievances endured by the eight iwi ...
"This is a crisis of the Governmentâs own making and the unit is another sign of desperation," said PSA acting national secretary Fleur Fitzsimons. ...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Francesca Perugia, Senior Lecturer, School of Design and the Built Environment, Curtin University Australiaâs housing crisis has created a push for fast-tracked construction. Federal, state and territory governments have set a target of 1.2 million new homes over five years. Increasing housing ...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Ash Watson, Scientia Fellow and Senior Lecturer, UNSW Sydney Shutterstock When weâre uncomfortable we say the âvibe is offâ. When weâre having a good time weâre âvibingâ. To assess the mood we do a âvibe checkâ. And when the atmosphere in ...
Whatâs up with the man from Epsom? The leader of the Act Party has been in plenty of headlines in the last two weeks, ranging from a controversial letter to police on behalf of constituent Philip Polkinghorne (written before David Seymour was a minister) to an attempt to drive ...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Elise Stephenson, Deputy Director, Global Institute for Women’s Leadership, Australian National University Newly published research has found clear evidence that openly lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, intersex, and queer+ (LGBTIQ+) Australian politicians were disproportionately targeted with personal abuse on social media at the ...
Gilmore Girls, Schittâs Creek, even The Vampire Diaries â theyâre all set in tight-knit neighbourhoods where everyone knows everyone. So what is it like to actually know your neighbours? My favourite television shows are set in tight-knit neighbourhoods where everyone knows everyone. Characters attend town meetings where they debate local ...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Yanyan Hong, PhD Candidate in Communication and Media Studies, University of Adelaide IMDB On the surface, Ne Zha 2: The Seaâs Fury (2025), the sequel to the 2019 Chinese blockbuster Nezha: Birth of the Demon Child, is a high-octane, action-packed and ...
Wellington travellers say their buses are so hot theyâre often forced to get off early and walk. Shanti Mathias explores the impact of non-functioning air conditioning on public transport. When Bella, a young professional living in Wellington, thinks about taking the bus, her first thought is âUghâ. The bus might ...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Annette Kroen, Research Fellow Planning and Transport, RMIT University The cleanup is underway in northern Queensland following the latest flooding catastrophe to hit the state. More than 7,000 insurance claims have already been lodged, most of them for inundated homes and other ...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Subha Parida, Lecturer in Property, University of South Australia Carl Oberg/Shutterstock Houses and fire do not mix. The firestorm which hit Los Angeles in January destroyed nearly 2,000 buildings and forced 130,000 people to evacuate. The 2019â20 Australian megafires destroyed ...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By David Bowman, Professor of Pyrogeography and Fire Science, University of Tasmania Tasmania has been burning for more than two weeks, with no end in sight. Almost 100,000 hectares of bushland in the northwest has burned to date. This includes the Tarkine rainforest ...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Martin Loosemore, Professor of Construction Management, University of Technology Sydney This week, the Productivity Commission released its much-awaited report into productivity growth in Australiaâs housing construction sector. It wasnât a glowing appraisal. The commission found physical productivity â the total number ...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Pascale Lubbe, Postdoctoral Research Fellow in Molecular Ecology, University of Otago Royal spoonbills are among several new species that have crossed the Tasman and naturalised in New Zealand. JJ Harrison/Wikimedia Commons, CC BY-SA When people arrived on the shores of Aotearoa ...
Stats NZâs head is stepping down over the agencyâs failure to safeguard census data, and more officials may soon be in the firing line, writes Catherine McGregor in todayâs extract from The Bulletin. To receive The Bulletin in full each weekday, sign up here. An âabsolutely unacceptableâ failure Stats NZ chief ...
Health NZ is under greater government scrutiny, with the new health minister setting up a unit he says will "drive greater accountability and performance". ...
Manurewa Marae acknowledges should have done better at handling completed census forms, following an inquiry into steps government agencies took to protect data. ...
Police failed to protect people from protesters at a high-profile rally and made unlawful arrests at another, the Independent Police Conduct Authority says. ...
Comment: Crypto exchange-traded funds (ETFs) are making it easier for people to invest in cryptocurrencies such as Bitcoin and Ethereum without having to handle digital wallets or private keys. These allow investors to buy and sell cryptocurrency through their regular brokerage accounts.This has opened the door for billions of dollars ...
Two long-awaited reports into alleged personal data misuse, centred on census collection and Covid-19 vaccination efforts at Manurewa Marae, were released yesterday. Hereâs what you need to know.âVery sobering readingâ was how public service commissioner Sir Brian Roche described his organisationâs long-awaited report into the alleged misuse of census ...
Backbench MPs reached new levels of patsy questions in an extraordinarily dull question time on Tuesday. Echo Chamber is The Spinoffâs dispatch from the press gallery, recapping sessions in the House. Columns are written by politics reporter Lyric Waiwiri-Smith and Wellington editor Joel MacManus. âMPs ask questions to explore key issues ...
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The New Zealand Government says the Cook Islands must share more information about the deals it has signed with China, following the release of an âaction planâ in the face of protests in the Pacific nationâs capital.The Cook Islands government has also revealed plans to spend $3 million on a ...
Comment: The recent attack by Destiny Church front groups on a Drag science show at Te AtatĆ« library crossed a line. This wasnât the first time that Brian Tamaki, the multimillionaire self-appointed âapostleâ, has ordered acts of aggression against the queer community. Last year, Drag Story Time events were targeted, ...
Martina Salmon is well versed in the fast-paced action on a netball court, but even she was caught by surprise with the speed at which her career changed tack last year.Staying in the fast lane is only part of her drive this season.Fresh off a nine-day camp in Sydney with ...
Last night I may as well have been in Taihape. Or, closer to home, for me at least, somewhere in the Wairarapa. Or TĆ«rangi, even â which is near where we used to spend the summer when I was a child. For there was that same gorgeous small town feeling ...
Having Auckland’s food scraps dumped onto your rural backyard sounds scandalous, but in the North Island town of Reporoa there’s no fuss about the thousands of tonnes carted here every week.From the same site as one truck drops the waste, another truck picks up fertiliser to spread on local sheep ...
Natzional’s last stand.
DriftWood.
Actually: adriftwood
King Canute tries to keep the land back.
On the beach redux
“Hear Ye, lowly molluscs and other sub-tidal entities….”
Tide goes out on National.
who is it..?
National – turning our backs to climate change.
woody pitches for a re-make of ‘the piano’..
..to be called ‘the lectern’…
Civil Defense finds Woodhouses’s speeches more effective than sirens at clearing beaches in an emergency
Potato lol -1000
this is the economic boat..
..that key/national promised to float…
our airforce..doing live-ammunition exercises…
‘woody’ recreates his ancestors arrival in nz..
..(i understand they brought nz’s first ever lectern with them..)
woody unveils groundbreaking new national party economic-initiative..
..the solar-powered/amphibious-lectern…
speaking to reporters woody extolled the export-possibilities of this ‘exciting’ new initiative..
..saying it will become de riguer for all politicians/captains-of-industry to have one..
..woody says that on a calm day..he pops over to waiheke on his..
..or he cruises the beaches of auckland..
..and can give speeches to both passing-craft..and beachgoers..
..’you can always feel secure’..said woody..’your genitals are always covered/protected..
..no more standing there feeling vulnerable/exposed/naked as you preach to the peasants..
..you just grab the no-slip grips on the poly-lectern..knowing yr family-jewels are protected on three sides’..
And now for something completely different
lol
“No.1: The Larch.”
Still lolling đ
lol also
Yep absolute LOL …
“I’m the king of the world!!”
At last St Woody, inspired by desperation, went down to the sea-shore, where the river runs into the sea, and having placed himself on a bank between the river and the sea, he began to speak to the fishes as if Woger had sent him to preach to them, and said: “Listen to the word of Woger, O ye fishes of the sea and of the river, and you rancid cetaceans, seeing that honest people and hard working people refuse to do so.”
All washed up.
tsunami? no its a left wing conspiracy i tell ya!
We shall go on to the end. We shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength on the air, we shall sell our islands, whatever the cost may be. We shall sell them on the beaches, we shall sell them on the landing grounds, we shall sell them in the fields and in the streets, we shall sell them in the hills; we shall surrender everything. For money.
To all of my supporters, gathered here today I say
John Key had a dream…
And here I am!
“There’s a woman down the end with a couple of kids and a bucket. Perhaps she wants to listen to me talk about how our new employment laws will help workers enjoy their lives ?”
That ladywith a bucket – any toheroa you find is Crown property!
woody suddenly realises..that for him..
..the tide will never come in..
“Ladies and gentlemen, in this lot we have the foreshore and seabed going for steal. Shall we commence the bidding! “
“Anyone makes a joke about John Key and a whale stranding and I’m off”
or (for the westie surfers): keyhole obscured by arsehole.
Lol
Galoot succeeds. The waves retreat under the crushing weight of his rhetoric!
âAll the inhabitants of the world should know that the power of kings is vain and trivial, and that none is worthy the name of king but He whose command the heaven, earth and sea obey by eternal lawsâ
As we await this fleet of China!s ships,we can say we welcome them,we are now approaching a new venture in our lands development,reaching out to a culture like ours, innovative,and not afraid to take risks.We look forward to doing business with this dynamic culture.
Who has the contract to make the gumboots,whats his name,Sushi,Sushi,no its HOE.
woody pitches for a (low-cost) remake of ‘all the presidents’ men’..
..starring him and his mate in the hat…
Nationals latest campaign to prove that they are in touch with ‘real New Zealanders’.
Michael Woodhouse says ” I like to go down and spend the day at the beach just like everybody else”.
If a National Minister speaks to an empty beach who will hold him to account?
Police Minister launches new version of cardboard cutout cop. Guaranteed for sea-level rises of up to 30cm.
And now for the next asset sale, new zealands forshore.
what do hear for an opening bid, who will start off with a bid of 5 billion?
Latest asset sale? New Zealand for sure!
in an effort to keep flights to the provinces I’m proud to call this new runway open, take it away captain
I always practice my speeches on the beach. No hecklers. And I write my promises out on the sand – transparent for all to see. There they are in black and white, or rather light brown, or even in fifty shades of grey heh heh my little joke, and anyone can come and look at them before the tide comes in. But then though they are hidden from the public, they lie in my heart.
National is constructing an ark to survive climate change, starting with the poop deck.
@Yeah
+1
Cops to target all lecterns this summer.
Police say there will be a no lectern tolerance level this summer. However, the evaluation couldn’t confirm the statistical significance of a lectern decreases because of the small numbers involved.
Prime N Z beachfront for sale to the highest bidder! Be quick, won’t last long!
Where do I tie up the Donkey!
Thanks for coming mum.
You keep dissing the Key Man, and all you commies will be swimming with the fishes.
More rubbish washes up on beach
…. ’cause John told me to…
“Minister releases new sections for affordable housing initiative”
Hehe
“F***. I shouldn’t have mentioned ebola.”
First hot-air powered hovercraft crosses Tasman
lolz much.
Michael’s press conference didn’t go as planned once the media recieved a text that one of ‘The Block’ contestants was spotted in Pak’N’Save.
From his twitter account, Woodlouse loves photo ops with sporting celebs and hobnobbing around the world on the taxpayers dime. Never heard of him til now. The Nats also enjoyed endorsements by famous All Blacks ON ELECTION DAY.
Labour aren’t the only ones who can have a Foreshore and Seabed Act.
“We must build but we must build surely.”
Party Political Beach-
“NZ beaches go under the hammer in latest government asset sale”.
Of course I can order everyone out of the water and off the beach for a couple of hoiurs, for a photo-op …. don;t you know I am?
(no)
There was Woody giving an otherwise dull speech to the House – when suddenly the PM’s Infinite Improbability Generator kicked in.
Redlogix
+1
As he drifted into the afterlife, Dobby imagined he was giving a speech on the desolate beach that would be his ending…
In order for the announcement of this new law to be legally binding it must be made on sovereign New Zealand owned soil. We are told due to a small error on a land sales document that this small section we have placed this stage on is the last piece of it left in New Zealand.
Ouch!
Woodhouse floundering!
Trying out Nationals new strategy of avoiding whaleoil tsunami!
Imbeachment
Clever clogs
First sea trial for Nationals new life raft,does not go well for junior minister.
“Auckland traffic gridlock? Where? It’s just another dirty left-wing conspiracy”.
the new minister for flotsom and jetsam speaks to his constituency..
nationals’ media-mavens come up with yet another absolutely brilliant idea…
woody has an unusual hobby…
woodys’ scrapbook:..
..what i did on my hols…
very poor turnout for the woody fanclub beach-day…
woody shows off his new beach-suit…
when woody gets all existential and angsty…
..he likes to take one of his favourite lecterns to the beach..
..so they can chill-out together…
man in hat:..
‘it’s been three hours minister…i don’t think anyones’ coming’..
minister waits for mr whippy van..
… and what’s more, JK would never bend over for CS.
minister releases policy on global warming, population explosion and sea level rise.
‘We have four of these, which proves we take seriously our response capability to any deep sea oil spill”.
That made me laugh you got my vote. đ
” The government has signed a contract with the Hyundai ship building yard in Ulsan, South Korea to have them built. The vessels will be delivered in the first quarter of the new year.
Two will be docked and utilized from Port Taranaki while the third and fourth will be shared between the East Coast of the North Is and the maritime jurisdictions of the Canterbury and Deep South basin’s.”
Minister issues apology for Climate Change policy.
Government announces new spying laws, ” The local seals have nothing to fear”
Government announces new spying laws, ” The local seals have nothing to fear”, the Minister said.
Only Navy Seals, the Minister further advised.
Phil j a series of bonny motes!
” USA Double Agent seeks asylum in Tolega Bay “
“Government Minister announces further DOC restructuring”
” Sex On The Beach is now illegal under new terrorist law “
“Man arrested for impersonating a Government Minister in a public place”
Newsflash!
” Minister declares leadership coup! “
…And the Floating Lectern Cup is still NZ’s cup. Eat that Jimmy Spithill.
….. and now I will I dig a hole in the sand and do my ostrich impersonation…..
Johns Keys flunky announces and reviews the new increased defense forces
New Zealands olympic bobsleigh unveiled
Nationals spokesman, announces new site of shallow graves for all the abandoned national policies
the intensive search for Paula Bennet fails
New Zealands new aircraft carrier had a few subtle flaws
National Flunkey, announces Life is a beach yet under National Life is a *********!
National Supporter shows off his ill gotten Ikea Lectern Gains in NZ Black Friday Sale
Aussie Invasion repulsed!
Anyone that finds the buried ego of Pete George,,,,,will be allowed to exit the country……
Santas sleigh now privatised and flogged off to highest bidder!
Ok, the bidding is currently at $10 dollars for complete drilling rights…….any other offers……going goingggggggggg.
I ordered a hovercraft…….send this back to amazon
GP spokesman, shows off new membership
At Davos In Switzerland, climate change denier, announces G20 to think about 0.9 % cut in co2 emissions
The prime minister pledged a new police vessel before the end of the year and despite a funding shortfall I am proud to launch this raft today.
And just up on the beach is the Crematorium thats why no one is here
Government unveils plans to save manufacturing and rescue the economy – Ladies and Gentlmen, introducing the wooden segway.