Caption contest
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5:00 pm, November 27th, 2014 - 116 comments
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116 comments on “Caption contest ”
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- New station a platform for AirportLink to take off
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- Flood recovery given further assistanceThe Government is contributing a further $1 million to help the flood battered Buller community, Acting Emergency Management Minister Kris Faafoi announced today. âBuller is a small community which has found itself suddenly facing significant and ongoing welfare costs. While many emergency welfare costs are reimbursed by Government, this money ...3 days ago
- Funding for five projects to reduce food wasteThe Government is funding five projects to help address the growing problem of food waste, Environment Minister David Parker announced today. âNew Zealand households throw away nearly 300,000 tonnes of food every year, half of which could still be eaten. By supporting these initiatives, weâre taking steps to reduce this ...3 days ago
- Temporary Accommodation Service activated for West Coast flooding eventThe Temporary Accommodation Service (TAS) has been activated today - meaning residents on the West Coast of the South Island and in the Marlborough region hit by flooding over the weekend can now access help finding temporary accommodation, announced Associate Minister of Housing (Public Housing) Poto Williams in Westport today. ...4 days ago
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- New Zealand condemns malicious cyber activity by Chinese state-sponsored actorsNew Zealand has established links between Chinese state-sponsored actors known as Advanced Persistent Threat 40 (APT40) and malicious cyber activity in New Zealand. âThe GCSB has worked through a robust technical attribution process in relation to this activity. New Zealand is today joining other countries in strongly condemning this malicious ...5 days ago
- Remarks to Diplomatic CorpsIt is a pleasure to be with you all this evening. Some of you may have been surprised when you received an invitation from the Minister of Disarmament and Arms Control, and I would forgive you if you were. New Zealand is unique in having established a Ministerial portfolio ...6 days ago
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- Backing for Bay of Islands predator free effortThe Government is throwing its support behind an ambitious project to restore native biodiversity and build long-term conservation careers, Conservation Minister Kiri Allan says. Predator Free Bay of Islands aims to eradicate predators from the three main peninsulas in the region, and significantly reduce their impact throughout the wider 80,000-plus ...6 days ago
- Government commits $600,000 to flood recoveryThe Government is contributing $600,000 to help residents affected by the weekendâs violent weather with recovery efforts. Acting Minister for Emergency Management Kris Faafoi and Agriculture Minister Damien OâConnor have been in the Buller district this afternoon to assess flood damage and support the local response effort. They have announced ...7 days ago
- Government assisting local responses to heavy rainfall and high windActing Minister of Emergency Management Kris Faafoi says Central Government is monitoring the severe weather across the country, and is ready to provide further support to those affected if necessary. âMy thoughts are with everyone who has been affected by this latest event, particularly communities on the West Coast and ...1 week ago
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- Health Minister welcomes progress on nursesâ payThe New Zealand Nurses Organisationâs decision to take the Governmentâs improved pay offer to members and to lift strike notices is a positive move towards settling district health board nursesâ pay claims, Health Minister Andrew Little said. âItâs encouraging that the discussions between NZNO and DHBs over the nursesâ employment ...1 week ago
- Boost for Pacific regional businessPacific businesses will get a much-needed financial boost as they recover from the effects of the COVID-19 pandemic thanks to the new Pacific Aotearoa Regional Enterprise Fund, said Minister for Pacific Peoples Aupito William Sio. The new $2 million fund will co-invest in Pacific business projects and initiatives to create ...1 week ago
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- Renewed partnership creates jobs for New Zealand youthThe Government has signed a new memorandum of understanding (MoU) with the Mayors Taskforce for Jobs, strengthening the partnership to get more young people into work. The Mayors Taskforce for Jobs (MTFJ) is a nationwide network of all Mayors in New Zealand, who are committed to making sure all young ...1 week ago
- South Island areas prioritised in tourism fundFive South Island areas are prioritised in the latest round of decisions from a tourism fund that is supporting infrastructure projects from Cape Reinga to Stewart Island and the Chathams. Tourism Minister Stuart Nash has announced details of 57 nationwide projects to receive support from the Tourism Infrastructure Fund (TIF). ...1 week ago
- New code sets clear expectations for learner safety and wellbeing in tertiary educationA new code of practice for the pastoral care of domestic tertiary and international students will be in place from January next year, Education Minister Chris Hipkins announced today The code, which makes clear that creating an environment that supports learning and wellbeing is a shared responsibility between tertiary providers, ...1 week ago
- First TAB New Zealand Board appointments announcedThe members of the first TAB NZ Board come with experience in racing and sport administration, business and governance, the betting industry, broadcasting and gambling harm minimisation. âThis Board will progress from the excellent work done by the interim board, put in place in August 2020,â Grant Robertson said. âThe ...1 week ago
- Northland Maori Pathways initiative introducedThe Government has today launched MÄori Pathways at Northland Region Corrections Facility, a ground-breaking series of initiatives designed in partnership with MÄori to reduce re-offending and improve outcomes for whÄnau. A key part of the HĹkai Rangi strategy, MÄori Pathways looks to achieve long-term change and involves a number of ...1 week ago
- Extended Essential Skills visas being rolled outTwo year Essential Skills visa to provide certainty to at least 18,000 visa holders Streamlined application process to benefit at least 57,000 visa holders The Government is increasing the duration of some Essential Skills visas and streamlining the application process to provide more certainty to employers and visa holders while ...1 week ago
- Pause to Quarantine Free Travel from Victoria to New ZealandQuarantine Free Travel from Victoria to New Zealand will be paused from 1.59am (NZT) Friday, COVID-19 Response Minister Chris Hipkins has announced. The decision follows updated public health advice from New Zealand officials and a growing number of cases and locations of interest. The pause will run for at least ...1 week ago
- Hydrogen arrangement signed with SingaporeThe signing of an Arrangement of Cooperation on low-carbon hydrogen with Singapore heralds the start of greater collaboration between it and New Zealand as both countries transition towards low carbon economies, says Energy and Resources Minister Megan Woods. The cooperation arrangement between New Zealandâs Ministry of Business, Innovation and Employment ...1 week ago
- Hydrogen agreement signed with SingaporeThe signing of a Memorandum of Cooperation on low-carbon hydrogen with Singapore signals the start of greater collaboration between the two countries as they transition towards low carbon economies, says Energy and Resources Minister Dr Megan Woods. The cooperation agreement between New Zealandâs Ministry of Business, Innovation and Employment and ...1 week ago
- Speech to LGNZ ConferenceKia ora koutou katoa and thank-you for the invitation to speak to you all today. I would like to acknowledge Local Government New Zealand President Stuart Crosby, and Chief Executive, Susan Freeman-Greene, Te Maruata Chair, Bonita Bigham, and our host, Mayor John Leggett. I also acknowledge all the elected members ...1 week ago
- Government to provide support for water reforms, jobs and growthThe Government today announced a $2.5 billion package to support local government transition through the reforms to New Zealandâs drinking water, wastewater and stormwater services. The package will also stimulate local economies while creating jobs and unlocking infrastructure for housing. âNew Zealandâs water systems are facing a significant crisis and ...1 week ago
- Government Initiatives Contribute to Fall in Benefit NumbersMinister for Social Development Carmel Sepuloni has welcomed the release of the June quarter Benefit Statistics which show a continuing fall in the number of people receiving a Main Benefit. âThis Governmentâs plan to increase work focused support for Jobseekers is paying off,â Carmel Sepuloni said. âAll up Benefit numbers ...1 week ago
- Tourism support package continues rolloutMental wellbeing support is being rolled out to five South Island communities most affected by the absence of international tourists. Tourism Minister Stuart Nash today announced details of how tourism operators and communities can access the help announced in May as part of the governmentâs $200 million Tourism Communities: Support, ...1 week ago
- NZ-PNG Sign Statement of PartnershipNew Zealandâs Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern and Papua New Guineaâs Prime Minister James Marape signed the first ever New Zealand - Papua New Guinea Statement of Partnership today. âThis new Statement of Partnership reflects the importance we place on the close economic, cultural and people-to-people links our two countries have ...1 week ago
- Further advice being sought on new cases in VictoriaFurther advice is being sought from public health officials following seven new positive cases of COVID-19 in Victoria today, COVID-19 Response Minister Chris Hipkins says. âThere are also a growing number of locations of interest that are of concern, including a sports stadium on Saturday and several pubs,â Chris Hipkins ...2 weeks ago
- Christchurch Learning Community Hubs supporting ethnic familiesAs part of the Governmentâs ongoing commitment to working with the victims and those affected by the March 15 terror attacks, today Associate Minister of Education Hon Jan Tinetti released the report âVoices from the Ĺtautahiâ on the Christchurch Learning Community Hubs. âItâs so important we continue to support the ...2 weeks ago
- Hundreds more hands funded to work for natureSupporting biodiversity protection through community-led projects and on private property will create at least 500 more jobs under the Mahi mĹ te Taiao/Jobs for Nature programme, Minister of Conservation Kiritapu Allan announced today. âThe work we are funding includes everything from pest control and restoration planting to plant propagation, skill ...2 weeks ago
- Saliva testing expansion for frontline border workersAll frontline border workers who are required to be regularly tested for COVID-19 will soon be able to choose regular saliva testing as a full replacement for nasopharyngeal testing, COVID-19 Response Minister Chris Hipkins has announced. Saliva testing will be expanded as an option for all those on a regular ...2 weeks ago
- Government consults on freshwater farm planThe Government is inviting farmers and growers to provide their practical ideas to help develop high-quality and workable freshwater farm plans, in line with its freshwater goals said Agriculture Minister Damien OâConnor and Environment Minister David Parker. The ministers today released the consultation documents for freshwater farm plans and stock exclusion low slope maps. Comment is being sought on a new, more ...2 weeks ago
- Increased support for midwivesNew measures to help bolster the midwifery workforce as they care for the next generation of New Zealanders, have been announced today by Associate Minister of Health Dr Ayesha Verrall. âNew Zealandâs midwives are committed to the wellbeing of women and whÄnau, but theyâre facing significant challenges. The DHB midwifery ...2 weeks ago
- Prime Minister's Speech to NZIIA Annual ConferenceLadies and gentlemen, distinguished guests, ata mÄrie, tÄnÄ koutou katoa. Itâs a great pleasure to attend an event on such an important topic as New Zealandâs future in the Indo-Pacific region. Thank you to the New Zealand Institute of International Affairs for bringing this hui together. I am encouraged to ...2 weeks ago
- Gay law reform: a tactics masterclass
The House: Thirty five years later, Fran Wilde and Trevor Mallard discuss the campaign, strategy and tactics involved in the 1985-86 campaign to legalise gay sex. ...1 hour ago - An ode for … Lorde
New Zealand's semi-detached poet laureate composes an ode for Solar Ella One Lorde to rule them A weird and uncanny mood falls upon the land of the long white nitrate plume. On both sides of the Great Wall of the Polls, premonition hangs, heavy as a ...3 hours ago - Our IVF story
When Jana Te Nahu Owen and her wife began their fertility journey, they never imagined that it was the start of a three-year battle to conceive. Today is World IVF day. It’s also 15 months since our beautiful pēpi was born. I remember it well, like a surreal dream inside ...4 hours ago - How the whiff of cow shit led me to travel the land of Milk and MoneyA six-part documentary series investigating New Zealand’s dairy industry, Milk and Money, launches on TVNZ OnDemand today. Journalist and host of the series Baz Macdonald explains why he made it.About a year ago I was sitting on the coast of Riverton, a tiny seashore village in Southland, and all I ...4 hours ago
- The Sunday Essay: Mariposa, the Mexican feminist street dogWhile north of the border Trump speaks of bad hombres and building walls, Julie Hill befriends a dog named Butterfly. The Sunday Essay is made possible thanks to the support of Creative New ZealandOriginal illustrations by Amane & Me.Once, this town was called the Place of Dogs, and by night, dogs are ...4 hours ago
- Not declaring the Great Barrier Reef as âin dangerâ only postpones the inevitable
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Jon C. Day, PSM, Adjunct Senior Research Fellow, ARC Centre of Excellence for Coral Reef Studies, James Cook University Shutterstock After much anticipation, the World Heritage Committee on Friday decided against listing the Great Barrier Reef as âin dangerâ. The ...8 hours ago - Very genki, slightly kitsch, occasionally compelling: the Olympic opening ceremony put humanity in c...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Leah Mercer, Associate Professor of Theatre Arts, Curtin University The Yomiuri Shimbun via AP Images The rising of the Japanese flag and the singing of the national anthem is the first moment of stillness. Devoid of external commentary, before a ...11 hours ago
- The birth of a movement that divided NZ â and changed us foreverAs New Zealand marks 40 years since the Springbok tour that changed everything, we republish this essay by Trevor Richards, founding chairperson of Hart – Halt All Racist Tours.Originally published in 2019, on the 50th anniversary of the anti-apartheid group’s formation.It has been said that if you can remember the ...17 hours ago
- Not all workers will benefit from new sick leave entitlements â and only some projects are favoure...
Workplace Relations and Safety Minister Michael Wood is braying about new labour legislation âbringing benefits to both businesses and employeesâ and âdelivering on a key manifesto commitment to help Kiwis and workplaces stay healthyâ. Actually, employers are doing the delivering. If they donât deliver, it is fair to suppose, they ...19 hours ago - Radicalism mixed with openness: how Desmond Tutu used his gifts to help end ApartheidSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Andrew McGowan, Dean and President of Berkeley Divinity School, Yale University AAP/EPA/Nic Bothma This piece is part of a new series in collaboration with the ABCâs Saturday Extra program. Each week, the show will have a âwho am Iâ quiz ...22 hours ago
- Podcast: Hate speech debate gets mired in politicsFocus on Politics - "Our communities suffered greatly and politicising it is actually demeaning". Minorities are growing frustrated at the direction hate speech debate has gone, Anneke Smith reports. ...22 hours ago
- Forget Tokyo. For me, the real opening ceremony was in the TVNZ studioHow did TVNZ’s Olympic team warm us up for last night’s big event? Tara Ward tunes in. I am an athlete in my prime, and sleep is for losers. The Tokyo Olympics 2020 launched yesterday, and although the opening ceremony began deep into the New Zealand night, I was ready. I’d ...1 day ago
- Controlled digital lending â is it âpiracyâ?
Copyright lawyer Michael Wolfe argues that the future of our libraries does not hinge on the outcome of an American court case The National Library is sending books removed from its collections to the Internet Archive, a charitable library in the United States, to see them digitised and preserved in ways ...1 day ago - Changing South: World peace easier than fixing damaged house
Kate Dewes fought for peace on the global stage, but trying to get her earthquake-damaged home in Christchurch repaired ânearly finished meâ Kate Dewes is a peace negotiator of global standing. A long-time activist for disarmament, she successfully lobbied for New Zealandâs Nuclear Free Zone, Disarmament, and Arms Control Act, ...1 day ago - Short story: The Day in Bed, by James Courage
A classic short story from 1959 by the great North Canterbury writer James Courage In the middle of the morning, an hour after the doctor's car had left the farm-house, the man lying in bed heard his wife's voice calling to him half-way up the stairs: "Jonathan, will you have ...1 day ago - Freedom For All
New Conservative stands for Human Rights, freedom for all, our freedom, and freedom as stated in the NZ Bill of Rights Act. Our Prime Minister, Jacinda Ardern, is working hard to silence the words we speak through so-called âhate speechâ laws so we ...1 day ago - Ted Lasso is the heartfelt comedy the world needs right nowA new season of the charming US-UK comedy arrived on Apple TV+ last night, and Ted fans could not be more excited. But why does everyone love Ted Lasso so much? Ted Lasso wants us to believe. He also wants us to be as wise as a goldfish, but mostly, ...1 day ago
- Your queer Chinese-New Zealand teenage fantasy: How we wrote Yang/Young/ć¨Yang/Young//杨 is a brand-new Gen-Z coming-of-age story with a Kiwi-Asian twist, part of Auckland Theatre Company’s Here & Now Festival. Co-writer Sherry Zhang reflects on writing her first play. I never thought I’d write a play. In a scene that puts High School Musical’s Troy Bolton to shame, I chose the ...1 day ago
- âDonât tell me how to run the ballâ: Louisa Wall on forging her own path in politicsShe’s more visible than many cabinet ministers, but Louisa Wall languishes on the Labour backbench. Justin Giovannetti catches up with the outspoken MP and asks: why is she not getting the promotions?It’s hard to imagine someone better placed to be at the heart of a progressive centre-left government than an ...1 day ago
- Pfizer doses to be spaced out in NSW crisis, but state fails to get change in vaccination programSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Michelle Grattan, Professorial Fellow, University of Canberra AAP/Mick Tsikas Pfizer doses in NSW will be spaced out to enable more first jabs to be administered quickly, as the Berejiklian government on Friday declared the Sydney COVID crisis a âstate of ...1 day ago
- The Tokyo Lowdown: Day Zero
In your daily guide recapping the fortunes of Kiwi sportswomen at the Tokyo Olympics, our rowers had an up and down Day Zero. Performance of the day Emma Twigg took the first strokes on her row to Olympic redemption. Fourth in London, fourth in Rio, Twigg came out of retirement to ...2 days ago - Samoaâs highest court declares FAST government legal â impasse endsBy Lanuola Tusani Tupufia-Ah Tong in Apia Samoaâs Court of Appeal ruled today that the Faatuatua ile Atua Samoa ua Tasi (FAST) party was the countryâs new government bringing three months of political stalemate to a close. The court, the highest in the country, found that a swearing-in ceremony conducted ...2 days ago
- Reporting Greenpeace to police shows KPK has become authoritarian, says watchdogBy Irfan Kamil in Jakarta Indonesia Corruption Watch (ICW) has condemned the Corruption Eradication Commission (KPK) under the leadership of Firli Bahuri as an âauthoritarian and anti-criticismâ institution over the Greenpeace laser protest. ICW researcher Kurnia Ramadhana said this after the KPK had reported Greenpeace Indonesia to the South Jakarta ...2 days ago
- Nine takeaways from the MÄâohi Nui Lives Matter solidarity rally in NZBy Ena Manuireva and Tony Fala About 35 people joined an Auckland rally last Sunday in solidarity with a MÄâohi Nui Lives Matter demonstration by thousands of Tahitians happening in Papeâete, the capital. In solidarity and in sync with the Papeâete event, the Mai te Paura AtĹmÄŤ i te tiâamaraâa: ...2 days ago
- Fiji medics save newborn babies â mothers among 21 new covid deathsBy Timoci Vula in Suva Two Fijian pregnant women are among the 21 covid-19 deaths reported within a seven-day period from July 14. Their babies, however, were saved via a caesarean operation by the obstetric team. Health Secretary Dr James Fong revealed this in his covid-19 live update last evening ...2 days ago
- âPacific Islanderâ an insulting umbrella term, researcher tells Royal CommissionBy Andrew McRae, RNZ News reporter The umbrella term Pacific Islander or Polynesian has been criticised as degrading and insensitive. Researcher Dr Seini Taufa, who is a New Zealand-born Tongan, said the names were not indigenous terms and were insulting. Dr Taufa is research lead for Moana Research and Senior ...2 days ago
- VIDEO: Michelle Grattan on the PMâs apology and Brisbane 2032Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Michelle Grattan, Professorial Fellow, University of Canberra University of Canberra Professorial Fellow Michelle Grattan and University of Canberra Vice-Chancellor and President Professor Paddy Nixon discuss the week in politics. This week Michelle and Paddy discuss the proposed changes to the vaccine rollout ...2 days ago
- Keen to sign up for space tourism? Here are 6 things to consider (besides the price tag)Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Steven Freeland, Professorial Fellow, Bond University / Emeritus Professor of International Law, Western Sydney University, Western Sydney University Blue Origin/AP Itâs been a momentous month for space-faring billionaires. On July 11, British entrepreneur Sir Richard Bransonâs Unity ârocket-planeâ flew him ...2 days ago
- You may have heard the âmoon wobbleâ will intensify coastal floods. Well, hereâs what that mea...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Mark Gibbs, Principal Engineer: Reef Restoration, Australian Institute of Marine Science Shutterstock Extreme floods this month have been crippling cities worldwide. This week in Chinaâs Henan province, a yearâs worth of rain fell in just three days. Last week, catastrophic ...2 days ago
- Clever cockatoos in southern Sydney have learned to open kerb-side bins â and it has global signif...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By John Martin, Adjunct lecturer, University of Sydney Barbara Klump, Author provided In a small, isolated village in southern Sydney, the local sulphur-crested cockatoos are particularly clever. Once a week, when the neighbours roll their wheelie bins to the kerb, cockies ...2 days ago
- How caring for children can help Aboriginal Elders during lockdownSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Susan Collings, Research Fellow, University of Sydney Quotes in this research are from participants who cannot be named due to research ethics requirements. Pandemic-induced lockdowns have provided stories of both hardship and resilience. This extends to families in the community caring for ...2 days ago
- NZ takes prudent approach in closing bubble
The decision to pause trans-Tasman travel is appropriately risk-averse in light of the devastation that the Delta strain could wreak in New Zealand, writes Marc Daalder Analysis: Imagine if our Level 4 lockdown in April 2020 hadn't worked. Imagine if, despite the stringent measures and people mostly following them, the ...2 days ago - Forget the medals, the real game of the Olympics is soft power â and the opening ceremony is keySource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Caitlin Vincent, Lecturer in Creative Industries, The University of Melbourne The Olympic Games are often hailed as a neutral celebration of athletic achievement. âThe Olympic Games are not about politics,â wrote the International Olympic Committee president, Thomas Bach, in the Guardian last ...2 days ago
- Eradicating smallpox: the global vaccination push that brought the world âarm-to-armâSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Michael Bennett, Professor in School of History and Classics, University of Tasmania Edward Jenner vaccinating his son, held by Mrs Jenner; a maid rolls up her sleeve, a man stands outside holding a cow. Coloured engraving by C. Manigaud after ...2 days ago
- Good one, ASA, for saying this gas ad misleads. Shame on you for failing to call it irresponsibleWhen you’re faced with advertising telling people we can help solve climate change by burning fossil fuels, it shouldn’t be difficult to condemn it in the strongest possible terms, argues lawyer Steven Price.In about 2050, when the climate has gone further to hell in a handbasket, there are going to ...2 days ago
- The Unity Books bestseller chart for the week ending July 23The only published and available best-selling indie book chart in New Zealand is the top 10 sales list recorded every week at Unity Books’ stores in High St, Auckland, and Willis St, Wellington.AUCKLAND1 In Our Own Backyard by Anne Kayes (Bateman, $22)This YA novel ties together Covid-19, Black Lives Matter ...2 days ago
- The Friday Poem: End Papers, by Mitch MarksA poem by Melbourne-based writer and publisher Mitch Marks.End papersWhen I write my novel, which all of you are in I’ll write it in the morning while my wounds are wide Tonguing them to bring the sting to the skin’s surface I’ll string it around my wrists and throat Tight ...2 days ago
- To watch or not to watch? The Tokyo Games raises difficult questions for fansSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Adam Karg, Associate Professor, Swinburne University of Technology Sue Ogrocki/AP/AAP When the 2020 Tokyo Olympic Games officially begin on Friday night, they will do so with the host city under a state of emergency due to COVID-19. For the ...2 days ago
- Enshrine Local Government Into ConstructionMajor changes are in the wind with the Labour government is giving itself unprecedented powers over local government. This is worrying and why KCDC Councillor Bernie Randall and Deputy Chair of the Paraparaumu/Raumati Community Board Guy Burns are calling ...2 days ago
- To watch or not watch? The Tokyo Games raises difficult questions for fansSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Adam Karg, Associate Professor, Swinburne University of Technology Sue Ogrocki/AP/AAP When the 2020 Tokyo Olympic Games officially begin on Friday night, they will do so with the host city under a state of emergency due to COVID-19. For the ...2 days ago
- A tragicâs guide to watching the OlympicsTop tips for getting the most from the Games, from your couch.One of my earliest memories is of watching Cathy Freeman win the 400m final at the 2000 Sydney Olympics. I was six years old and there was a girl in my class who looked exactly like Freeman and was ...2 days ago
- New Rules Introduced To Protect Sea-run Salmon FisheryTo help save New Zealandâs wild Chinook salmon species, a ground-breaking change to freshwater fishing regulations will introduce a season bag for sea-run salmon in the 2021/22 fishing season, in place of a daily catch limit. "The wild sea-run ...2 days ago
- How a Covid-19 policy put the final nail in the coffin of first-home buyersâ dreamsThe Reserve Bank’s monetary policy may have saved our economy from the worst of the Covid-19 pandemic, but at what cost?This story was originally published in Bernard Hickey’s email newsletter The Kākā and is republished with permission.As the saying attributed to an apocryphal commander in the Vietnam War goes, “it became necessary ...2 days ago
- Labour Inspectorate Concludes Inquiry Into GloriavaleThe Labour Inspectorate has found that the members of the Gloriavale Christian community cannot currently be considered employees under New Zealand legislation. This means the Inspectorate has no jurisdiction and will not undertake further investigation ...2 days ago
- Itâs just the thing for reducing our leftovers and slops â a trough which has provided almost $1...The Government has announced funding aimed at reducing food waste, which â according to the United Nations Environment Programme’s 2021 Food Waste Index – is well on the way to becoming a billion-tonne problem around the globe. In this country, we have a Love Food Hate Waste campaign run by Councils ...2 days ago
- Number of rejections for emergency housing tripled in 2020About 3000 requests for emergency housing were rejected by the government last year, nearly triple the number the year before. ...2 days ago
- The online GP service helping Kiwis get healthcare from their homesA collaboration between ProCare and Southern Cross Health Insurance is helping remove barriers to healthcare for those who find it hard to access. For some, attending a GP appointment in person can be a major logistical burden. It can mean time away from work, time navigating traffic or travelling long distances ...2 days ago
- Fossil tooth fractures and microscopic detail of enamel offer new clues about human diet and evoluti...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Ian Towle, Postdoctoral fellow, University of Otago Author provided, Author provided Teeth can tell us a lot about the evolution of prehistoric humans, and our latest study of one of our speciesâ close relatives may finally resolve a long-standing mystery. ...2 days ago
- New Zealand's relationship with China 'maturing' – Foreign MinisterThe New Zealand government says the relationship with its biggest trade partner China is maturing, however, issues and concerns will be called out. ...2 days ago
- Most Hated Group Opposes Hate Speech RulesDirect Action Everywhere New Zealand are part of the animal rights movement that has been gaining traction in New Zealand. As a result, we are hated. In fact research has shown vegans are among the most hated groups on the planet. Nevertheless, we ...2 days ago
- Bryce Edwardsâ Political Roundup: The Seriousness of the rural revoltAnalysis by Bryce Edwards. Political scientist, Dr Bryce Edwards. It’s nearly a week since the “Howl of a Protest” took place throughout the country, and we’re still talking about the rural revolt. What are the farmers’ concerns? Are they legitimate? Has the rural-urban divide has become too deep, and will ...2 days ago
- Keith Rankin Chart Analysis â Covid19: East Europe in the European Union, Excess Deaths in Context2 days ago
- Panuku Admits Social Housing Quota Is IllegalAuckland Council Property Development arm Panuku has conceded that thousands of MÄori and Pacific Island elders, single parents and beneficiaries have been forced on to Government Housing Waiting List by their flawed and unlawful social housing ...2 days ago
- Post-viral cacophony: The cough that wonât quitThe flu’s back, baby, and we’re more on edge about it than ever before. Here’s why you might sound like you’ve got Covid-19, even when you don’t.It started with one guy, three weeks ago, sucking down Lemsip and declaring he had a “post-viral cough”. Now the air is filled with ...2 days ago
- Silence over hate speech laws has allowed misinformation in, minorities sayMinority groups say the government has confused the debate around its proposed hate speech laws and allowed discord to spread. ...2 days ago
- Safer Sick Leave StartsWorking people are celebrating paid sick leave increasing from 5 to 10 days effective from Saturday 24 July 2021. CTU President Richard Wagstaff is encouraging working people to ensure they are getting their entitlement. "Working people successfully ...2 days ago
- More Sick Leave A Win For Working PeoplePSA members welcome the increase in sick leave entitlement to 10 days, that comes into effect tomorrow. PSA national secretary, Kerry Davies says, "The doubling of statutory sick leave entitlement from five days to 10 will make a huge difference ...2 days ago
- The science of underwater swimming: how staying submerged gives Olympians the winning edgeSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Anthony Blazevich, Professor of Biomechanics, Edith Cowan University Shutterstock To win swimming gold in Tokyo, swimmers not only have to generate incredible power with their arms and legs to propel themselves through the water; they also have to overcome the ...2 days ago
- As the Tokyo Games begin, the stakes could not be higher for Japan â and the Olympics themselvesSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Jack Anderson, Professor of Sports Law, Melbourne Law School, The University of Melbourne Martin Meissner/AP History shows there nothing in sport quite like an Olympics. Equally, there is nothing in Olympic history quite like what is happening now in Tokyo ...2 days ago
- Most expensive, greatest gender parity, most sports: Tokyo Olympics by the numbersSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Wes Mountain, Multimedia Editor The Tokyo Olympics officially open on July 23 â one year later than originally planned and in an Olympic stadium that will be empty of spectators thanks to the COVID-19 pandemic. While Tokyo is not the first Olympics ...2 days ago
- The Olympic movement claims political neutrality. In reality, that ideal is often selectively applie...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Daryl Adair, Associate Professor of Sport Management, University of Technology Sydney More than 200 nations are represented at the Tokyo 2021 Olympics. As ever, the International Olympic Committee (IOC) asserts the games are a means of unifying humanity through elite sport. At ...2 days ago
- Is Delta defeating us? Hereâs why the variant makes contact tracing so much harderSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By C Raina MacIntyre, Professor of Global Biosecurity, NHMRC Principal Research Fellow, Head, Biosecurity Program, Kirby Institute, UNSW Joel Carrett/AAP The Greater Sydney lockdown began on June 26 and almost a month later, New South Wales is recording around 100 new ...2 days ago
- Clever cockatoos in southern Sydney have learned to open curb-side bins â and it has global signif...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By John Martin, Adjunct lecturer, University of Sydney Barbara Klump, Author provided In a small, isolated village in southern Sydney, the local sulphur-crested cockatoos are particularly clever. Once a week, when the neighbours roll their wheelie bins to the curb, cockies ...2 days ago
- Unis are killing the critical study of religion, and it will only make campuses more religiousSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Christopher Hartney, Lecturer of Religion, University of Sydney Adam Calaitzis/Shutterstock Global developments in tertiary education suggest the critical scientific study of religion is endangered. One of the departments slated for extinguishment amid the pandemic-related upheavals was my own at the ...2 days ago
- The Brisbane Olympics are a leap into an unknowable futureSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By David Rowe, Emeritus Professor of Cultural Research, Institute for Culture and Society, Western Sydney University Toru Hanai/AP Thereâll be two types of Australian high jump in Tokyo this month. The first, most likely scripted, was Queensland Premier Annastacia Palaszczukâs front ...2 days ago
- Weâre losing the vaccination race because of bungling, not bad luckSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Richard Holden, Professor of Economics, UNSW Eric Surprenant/Shutterstock As one big international competition begins, another one is nearing its end. At least we hope so. I am, of course, talking about the Tokyo Olympic Games and the international roll-out ...2 days ago
- âWhat country have you walked?â Why all Australians should walk an Indigenous heritage trailSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Stephen Muecke, Professor of Writing, Flinders University Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander readers are advised this article contains images and names of deceased people. The Goolarabooloo community in Broome has been running the Lurujarri Heritage Trail for over 30 years. In July ...2 days ago
- Chris Hipkins needs a reality check on kids with special learning needsThe education minister’s claim that all learners are supported in state schools is so clearly untrue that it makes me despair, argues Jai Breitnauer.In late 2017, I interviewed incoming education minister Chris Hipkins about NZ’s human rights abuses against SEN (special educational needs) children in schools for an article in ...2 days ago
- Live updates, July 23: New 0800 number lets you book your group three vaccine nowWelcome to The Spinoff’s live updates for July 23, bringing you the latest news updated throughout the day. Get in touch at stewart@thespinoff.co.nz8.00am: New 0800 number launched to speed up group three vaccine bookingsA new 0800 number has just launched, allowing people in “group three” who have not received the ...2 days ago
- The Bulletin: Christchurch stadium design downsized amid cost blowoutGood morning and welcome to The Bulletin. In today’s edition: Christchurch stadium design downsized amid cost blowout, FMA gives damning insurance industry assessment, and mental health pilot programme fails to get near targets.A new design will be needed for the proposed stadium in Christchurch, after cost-overruns caused the original design ...2 days ago
- Marae standoff: A sense of hope
Family Court processes are again in the spotlight after a baby was ordered by the court to be removed from his mother and whÄnau and placed with a relative. Karakia took place at a marae before the mother and whÄnau of a nine-month-old baby left for a Hastings court room to attend a ...2 days ago - Newsroom daily quiz, Friday 23 July
Got a good quiz question? Send Newsroom your questions. ...2 days ago - Newsroom daily crossword, Friday 23 July
...2 days ago - MediaRoom: Tide goes out on RNZ
MediaRoom: The latest radio industry ratings would have caused grimaces at RNZ - which has watched its National programme slip to fourth most listened-to station in the land after sitting at number one just a year ago. RNZ is down again in the radio ...2 days ago - Exclusive poll: two-thirds think NZ on right track for âopening upâ after CovidPlus: views on the elimination strategy and the economy, from a new representative survey by Stickybeak for The Spinoff.Recent weeks have seen increased debate around New Zealand’s track to “opening up” after Covid-19. Scott Morrison of Australia laid out a “transition pathway”. Boris Johnson declared “freedom day” in England. A ...2 days ago
Natzional’s last stand.
DriftWood.
Actually: adriftwood
King Canute tries to keep the land back.
On the beach redux
“Hear Ye, lowly molluscs and other sub-tidal entities….”
Tide goes out on National.
who is it..?
National – turning our backs to climate change.
woody pitches for a re-make of ‘the piano’..
..to be called ‘the lectern’…
Civil Defense finds Woodhouses’s speeches more effective than sirens at clearing beaches in an emergency
Potato lol -1000
this is the economic boat..
..that key/national promised to float…
our airforce..doing live-ammunition exercises…
‘woody’ recreates his ancestors arrival in nz..
..(i understand they brought nz’s first ever lectern with them..)
woody unveils groundbreaking new national party economic-initiative..
..the solar-powered/amphibious-lectern…
speaking to reporters woody extolled the export-possibilities of this ‘exciting’ new initiative..
..saying it will become de riguer for all politicians/captains-of-industry to have one..
..woody says that on a calm day..he pops over to waiheke on his..
..or he cruises the beaches of auckland..
..and can give speeches to both passing-craft..and beachgoers..
..’you can always feel secure’..said woody..’your genitals are always covered/protected..
..no more standing there feeling vulnerable/exposed/naked as you preach to the peasants..
..you just grab the no-slip grips on the poly-lectern..knowing yr family-jewels are protected on three sides’..
And now for something completely different
lol
“No.1: The Larch.”
Still lolling đ
lol also
Yep absolute LOL …
“I’m the king of the world!!”
At last St Woody, inspired by desperation, went down to the sea-shore, where the river runs into the sea, and having placed himself on a bank between the river and the sea, he began to speak to the fishes as if Woger had sent him to preach to them, and said: “Listen to the word of Woger, O ye fishes of the sea and of the river, and you rancid cetaceans, seeing that honest people and hard working people refuse to do so.”
All washed up.
tsunami? no its a left wing conspiracy i tell ya!
We shall go on to the end. We shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength on the air, we shall sell our islands, whatever the cost may be. We shall sell them on the beaches, we shall sell them on the landing grounds, we shall sell them in the fields and in the streets, we shall sell them in the hills; we shall surrender everything. For money.
To all of my supporters, gathered here today I say
John Key had a dream…
And here I am!
“There’s a woman down the end with a couple of kids and a bucket. Perhaps she wants to listen to me talk about how our new employment laws will help workers enjoy their lives ?”
That ladywith a bucket – any toheroa you find is Crown property!
woody suddenly realises..that for him..
..the tide will never come in..
“Ladies and gentlemen, in this lot we have the foreshore and seabed going for steal. Shall we commence the bidding! “
“Anyone makes a joke about John Key and a whale stranding and I’m off”
or (for the westie surfers): keyhole obscured by arsehole.
Lol
Galoot succeeds. The waves retreat under the crushing weight of his rhetoric!
âAll the inhabitants of the world should know that the power of kings is vain and trivial, and that none is worthy the name of king but He whose command the heaven, earth and sea obey by eternal lawsâ
As we await this fleet of China!s ships,we can say we welcome them,we are now approaching a new venture in our lands development,reaching out to a culture like ours, innovative,and not afraid to take risks.We look forward to doing business with this dynamic culture.
Who has the contract to make the gumboots,whats his name,Sushi,Sushi,no its HOE.
woody pitches for a (low-cost) remake of ‘all the presidents’ men’..
..starring him and his mate in the hat…
Nationals latest campaign to prove that they are in touch with ‘real New Zealanders’.
Michael Woodhouse says ” I like to go down and spend the day at the beach just like everybody else”.
If a National Minister speaks to an empty beach who will hold him to account?
Police Minister launches new version of cardboard cutout cop. Guaranteed for sea-level rises of up to 30cm.
And now for the next asset sale, new zealands forshore.
what do hear for an opening bid, who will start off with a bid of 5 billion?
Latest asset sale? New Zealand for sure!
in an effort to keep flights to the provinces I’m proud to call this new runway open, take it away captain
I always practice my speeches on the beach. No hecklers. And I write my promises out on the sand – transparent for all to see. There they are in black and white, or rather light brown, or even in fifty shades of grey heh heh my little joke, and anyone can come and look at them before the tide comes in. But then though they are hidden from the public, they lie in my heart.
National is constructing an ark to survive climate change, starting with the poop deck.
@Yeah
+1
Cops to target all lecterns this summer.
Police say there will be a no lectern tolerance level this summer. However, the evaluation couldn’t confirm the statistical significance of a lectern decreases because of the small numbers involved.
Prime N Z beachfront for sale to the highest bidder! Be quick, won’t last long!
Where do I tie up the Donkey!
Thanks for coming mum.
You keep dissing the Key Man, and all you commies will be swimming with the fishes.
More rubbish washes up on beach
…. ’cause John told me to…
“Minister releases new sections for affordable housing initiative”
Hehe
“F***. I shouldn’t have mentioned ebola.”
First hot-air powered hovercraft crosses Tasman
lolz much.
Michael’s press conference didn’t go as planned once the media recieved a text that one of ‘The Block’ contestants was spotted in Pak’N’Save.
From his twitter account, Woodlouse loves photo ops with sporting celebs and hobnobbing around the world on the taxpayers dime. Never heard of him til now. The Nats also enjoyed endorsements by famous All Blacks ON ELECTION DAY.
Labour aren’t the only ones who can have a Foreshore and Seabed Act.
“We must build but we must build surely.”
Party Political Beach-
“NZ beaches go under the hammer in latest government asset sale”.
Of course I can order everyone out of the water and off the beach for a couple of hoiurs, for a photo-op …. don;t you know I am?
(no)
There was Woody giving an otherwise dull speech to the House – when suddenly the PM’s Infinite Improbability Generator kicked in.
Redlogix
+1
As he drifted into the afterlife, Dobby imagined he was giving a speech on the desolate beach that would be his ending…
In order for the announcement of this new law to be legally binding it must be made on sovereign New Zealand owned soil. We are told due to a small error on a land sales document that this small section we have placed this stage on is the last piece of it left in New Zealand.
Ouch!
Woodhouse floundering!
Trying out Nationals new strategy of avoiding whaleoil tsunami!
Imbeachment
Clever clogs
First sea trial for Nationals new life raft,does not go well for junior minister.
“Auckland traffic gridlock? Where? It’s just another dirty left-wing conspiracy”.
the new minister for flotsom and jetsam speaks to his constituency..
nationals’ media-mavens come up with yet another absolutely brilliant idea…
woody has an unusual hobby…
woodys’ scrapbook:..
..what i did on my hols…
very poor turnout for the woody fanclub beach-day…
woody shows off his new beach-suit…
when woody gets all existential and angsty…
..he likes to take one of his favourite lecterns to the beach..
..so they can chill-out together…
man in hat:..
‘it’s been three hours minister…i don’t think anyones’ coming’..
minister waits for mr whippy van..
… and what’s more, JK would never bend over for CS.
minister releases policy on global warming, population explosion and sea level rise.
‘We have four of these, which proves we take seriously our response capability to any deep sea oil spill”.
That made me laugh you got my vote. đ
” The government has signed a contract with the Hyundai ship building yard in Ulsan, South Korea to have them built. The vessels will be delivered in the first quarter of the new year.
Two will be docked and utilized from Port Taranaki while the third and fourth will be shared between the East Coast of the North Is and the maritime jurisdictions of the Canterbury and Deep South basin’s.”
Minister issues apology for Climate Change policy.
Government announces new spying laws, ” The local seals have nothing to fear”
Government announces new spying laws, ” The local seals have nothing to fear”, the Minister said.
Only Navy Seals, the Minister further advised.
Phil j a series of bonny motes!
” USA Double Agent seeks asylum in Tolega Bay “
“Government Minister announces further DOC restructuring”
” Sex On The Beach is now illegal under new terrorist law “
“Man arrested for impersonating a Government Minister in a public place”
Newsflash!
” Minister declares leadership coup! “
…And the Floating Lectern Cup is still NZ’s cup. Eat that Jimmy Spithill.
….. and now I will I dig a hole in the sand and do my ostrich impersonation…..
Johns Keys flunky announces and reviews the new increased defense forces
New Zealands olympic bobsleigh unveiled
Nationals spokesman, announces new site of shallow graves for all the abandoned national policies
the intensive search for Paula Bennet fails
New Zealands new aircraft carrier had a few subtle flaws
National Flunkey, announces Life is a beach yet under National Life is a *********!
National Supporter shows off his ill gotten Ikea Lectern Gains in NZ Black Friday Sale
Aussie Invasion repulsed!
Anyone that finds the buried ego of Pete George,,,,,will be allowed to exit the country……
Santas sleigh now privatised and flogged off to highest bidder!
Ok, the bidding is currently at $10 dollars for complete drilling rights…….any other offers……going goingggggggggg.
I ordered a hovercraft…….send this back to amazon
GP spokesman, shows off new membership
At Davos In Switzerland, climate change denier, announces G20 to think about 0.9 % cut in co2 emissions
The prime minister pledged a new police vessel before the end of the year and despite a funding shortfall I am proud to launch this raft today.
And just up on the beach is the Crematorium thats why no one is here
Government unveils plans to save manufacturing and rescue the economy – Ladies and Gentlmen, introducing the wooden segway.