Caption contest

Written By: - Date published: 5:00 pm, November 27th, 2014 - 116 comments
Categories: caption contest, humour - Tags:

Michael Woodhouse pihaKeep it seemly …

 

 

116 comments on “Caption contest ”

  1. cogito 1

    Natzional’s last stand.

  2. Lanthanide 2

    DriftWood.

  3. repateet 3

    King Canute tries to keep the land back.

  4. tc 4

    On the beach redux

  5. Ant 5

    “Hear Ye, lowly molluscs and other sub-tidal entities….”

  6. Tide goes out on National.

  7. Sirenia 8

    National – turning our backs to climate change.

  8. woody pitches for a re-make of ‘the piano’..

    ..to be called ‘the lectern’…

  9. Potato 10

    Civil Defense finds Woodhouses’s speeches more effective than sirens at clearing beaches in an emergency

  10. this is the economic boat..

    ..that key/national promised to float…

  11. our airforce..doing live-ammunition exercises…

  12. ‘woody’ recreates his ancestors arrival in nz..

    ..(i understand they brought nz’s first ever lectern with them..)

  13. woody unveils groundbreaking new national party economic-initiative..

    ..the solar-powered/amphibious-lectern…

    • speaking to reporters woody extolled the export-possibilities of this ‘exciting’ new initiative..

      ..saying it will become de riguer for all politicians/captains-of-industry to have one..

      ..woody says that on a calm day..he pops over to waiheke on his..

      ..or he cruises the beaches of auckland..

      ..and can give speeches to both passing-craft..and beachgoers..

      ..’you can always feel secure’..said woody..’your genitals are always covered/protected..

      ..no more standing there feeling vulnerable/exposed/naked as you preach to the peasants..

      ..you just grab the no-slip grips on the poly-lectern..knowing yr family-jewels are protected on three sides’..

  14. McFlock 15

    And now for something completely different

  15. felix 16

    “I’m the king of the world!!”

  16. Stuart Munro 17

    At last St Woody, inspired by desperation, went down to the sea-shore, where the river runs into the sea, and having placed himself on a bank between the river and the sea, he began to speak to the fishes as if Woger had sent him to preach to them, and said: “Listen to the word of Woger, O ye fishes of the sea and of the river, and you rancid cetaceans, seeing that honest people and hard working people refuse to do so.”

  17. karol 18

    All washed up.

  18. b waghorn 19

    tsunami? no its a left wing conspiracy i tell ya!

  19. One Anonymous Bloke 20

    We shall go on to the end. We shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength on the air, we shall sell our islands, whatever the cost may be. We shall sell them on the beaches, we shall sell them on the landing grounds, we shall sell them in the fields and in the streets, we shall sell them in the hills; we shall surrender everything. For money.

  20. Tracey 21

    To all of my supporters, gathered here today I say

    John Key had a dream…

    And here I am!

  21. Potato 22

    “There’s a woman down the end with a couple of kids and a bucket. Perhaps she wants to listen to me talk about how our new employment laws will help workers enjoy their lives ?”

  22. woody suddenly realises..that for him..

    ..the tide will never come in..

  23. Potato 24

    “Ladies and gentlemen, in this lot we have the foreshore and seabed going for steal. Shall we commence the bidding! “

  24. Te Reo Putake 25

    “Anyone makes a joke about John Key and a whale stranding and I’m off”

    or (for the westie surfers): keyhole obscured by arsehole.

  25. greywarshark 26

    Galoot succeeds. The waves retreat under the crushing weight of his rhetoric!
    “All the inhabitants of the world should know that the power of kings is vain and trivial, and that none is worthy the name of king but He whose command the heaven, earth and sea obey by eternal laws”

  26. finbar 27

    As we await this fleet of China!s ships,we can say we welcome them,we are now approaching a new venture in our lands development,reaching out to a culture like ours, innovative,and not afraid to take risks.We look forward to doing business with this dynamic culture.

    Who has the contract to make the gumboots,whats his name,Sushi,Sushi,no its HOE.

  27. woody pitches for a (low-cost) remake of ‘all the presidents’ men’..

    ..starring him and his mate in the hat…

  28. Potato 29

    Nationals latest campaign to prove that they are in touch with ‘real New Zealanders’.
    Michael Woodhouse says ” I like to go down and spend the day at the beach just like everybody else”.

  29. ianmac 30

    If a National Minister speaks to an empty beach who will hold him to account?

  30. RedLogix 31

    Police Minister launches new version of cardboard cutout cop. Guaranteed for sea-level rises of up to 30cm.

  31. coaster 32

    And now for the next asset sale, new zealands forshore.
    what do hear for an opening bid, who will start off with a bid of 5 billion?

  32. greywarshark 33

    Latest asset sale? New Zealand for sure!

  33. b waghorn 34

    in an effort to keep flights to the provinces I’m proud to call this new runway open, take it away captain

  34. greywarshark 35

    I always practice my speeches on the beach. No hecklers. And I write my promises out on the sand – transparent for all to see. There they are in black and white, or rather light brown, or even in fifty shades of grey heh heh my little joke, and anyone can come and look at them before the tide comes in. But then though they are hidden from the public, they lie in my heart.

  35. YeahSure 36

    National is constructing an ark to survive climate change, starting with the poop deck.

  36. Tel 37

    Cops to target all lecterns this summer.

    Police say there will be a no lectern tolerance level this summer. However, the evaluation couldn’t confirm the statistical significance of a lectern decreases because of the small numbers involved.

  37. philj 38

    Prime N Z beachfront for sale to the highest bidder! Be quick, won’t last long!

  38. philj 39

    Where do I tie up the Donkey!

  39. philj 40

    Thanks for coming mum.

  40. adam 41

    You keep dissing the Key Man, and all you commies will be swimming with the fishes.

  41. john 42

    More rubbish washes up on beach

  42. philj 43

    …. ’cause John told me to…

  43. philj 44

    “Minister releases new sections for affordable housing initiative”

  44. cogito 45

    “F***. I shouldn’t have mentioned ebola.”

  45. oarSum 46

    First hot-air powered hovercraft crosses Tasman

  46. Potato 47

    Michael’s press conference didn’t go as planned once the media recieved a text that one of ‘The Block’ contestants was spotted in Pak’N’Save.

  47. From his twitter account, Woodlouse loves photo ops with sporting celebs and hobnobbing around the world on the taxpayers dime. Never heard of him til now. The Nats also enjoyed endorsements by famous All Blacks ON ELECTION DAY.

  48. BassGuy 49

    Labour aren’t the only ones who can have a Foreshore and Seabed Act.

  49. mac1 50

    “We must build but we must build surely.”

    Party Political Beach-

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uw15MsGlxuc

  50. cogito 51

    “NZ beaches go under the hammer in latest government asset sale”.

  51. Paul Campbell 52

    Of course I can order everyone out of the water and off the beach for a couple of hoiurs, for a photo-op …. don;t you know I am?

    (no)

  52. RedLogix 53

    There was Woody giving an otherwise dull speech to the House – when suddenly the PM’s Infinite Improbability Generator kicked in.

  53. McFlock 54

    As he drifted into the afterlife, Dobby imagined he was giving a speech on the desolate beach that would be his ending…

  54. NZJester 55

    In order for the announcement of this new law to be legally binding it must be made on sovereign New Zealand owned soil. We are told due to a small error on a land sales document that this small section we have placed this stage on is the last piece of it left in New Zealand.

  55. tricledrown 56

    Woodhouse floundering!
    Trying out Nationals new strategy of avoiding whaleoil tsunami!

  56. Sans Cle 57

    Imbeachment

  57. les 58

    First sea trial for Nationals new life raft,does not go well for junior minister.

  58. cogito 59

    “Auckland traffic gridlock? Where? It’s just another dirty left-wing conspiracy”.

  59. the new minister for flotsom and jetsam speaks to his constituency..

  60. nationals’ media-mavens come up with yet another absolutely brilliant idea…

  61. woody has an unusual hobby…

  62. woodys’ scrapbook:..

    ..what i did on my hols…

  63. very poor turnout for the woody fanclub beach-day…

  64. woody shows off his new beach-suit…

  65. when woody gets all existential and angsty…

    ..he likes to take one of his favourite lecterns to the beach..

    ..so they can chill-out together…

  66. man in hat:..

    ‘it’s been three hours minister…i don’t think anyones’ coming’..

  67. minister waits for mr whippy van..

  68. philj 69

    … and what’s more, JK would never bend over for CS.

  69. philj 70

    minister releases policy on global warming, population explosion and sea level rise.

  70. Atiawa 71

    ‘We have four of these, which proves we take seriously our response capability to any deep sea oil spill”.

    • b waghorn 71.1

      That made me laugh you got my vote. 🙂

      • Atiawa 71.1.1

        ” The government has signed a contract with the Hyundai ship building yard in Ulsan, South Korea to have them built. The vessels will be delivered in the first quarter of the new year.
        Two will be docked and utilized from Port Taranaki while the third and fourth will be shared between the East Coast of the North Is and the maritime jurisdictions of the Canterbury and Deep South basin’s.”

  71. philj 72

    Minister issues apology for Climate Change policy.

  72. philj 73

    Government announces new spying laws, ” The local seals have nothing to fear”

  73. philj 74

    Government announces new spying laws, ” The local seals have nothing to fear”, the Minister said.

  74. philj 75

    ” USA Double Agent seeks asylum in Tolega Bay “

  75. philj 76

    “Government Minister announces further DOC restructuring”

  76. philj 77

    ” Sex On The Beach is now illegal under new terrorist law “

  77. philj 78

    “Man arrested for impersonating a Government Minister in a public place”

  78. philj 79

    Newsflash!
    ” Minister declares leadership coup! “

  79. cogito 80

    …And the Floating Lectern Cup is still NZ’s cup. Eat that Jimmy Spithill.

  80. philj 81

    ….. and now I will I dig a hole in the sand and do my ostrich impersonation…..

  81. Ecosse_Maidy 82

    Johns Keys flunky announces and reviews the new increased defense forces

  82. Ecosse_Maidy 83

    New Zealands olympic bobsleigh unveiled

  83. Ecosse_Maidy 84

    Nationals spokesman, announces new site of shallow graves for all the abandoned national policies

  84. Ecosse_Maidy 85

    the intensive search for Paula Bennet fails

  85. Ecosse_Maidy 86

    New Zealands new aircraft carrier had a few subtle flaws

  86. Ecosse_Maidy 87

    National Flunkey, announces Life is a beach yet under National Life is a *********!

  87. Ecosse_Maidy 88

    National Supporter shows off his ill gotten Ikea Lectern Gains in NZ Black Friday Sale

  88. Ecosse_Maidy 89

    Aussie Invasion repulsed!

  89. Ecosse_Maidy 90

    Anyone that finds the buried ego of Pete George,,,,,will be allowed to exit the country……

  90. Ecosse_Maidy 91

    Santas sleigh now privatised and flogged off to highest bidder!

  91. Ecosse_Maidy 92

    Ok, the bidding is currently at $10 dollars for complete drilling rights…….any other offers……going goingggggggggg.

  92. Ecosse_Maidy 93

    I ordered a hovercraft…….send this back to amazon

  93. Ecosse_Maidy 94

    GP spokesman, shows off new membership

  94. Ecosse_Maidy 95

    At Davos In Switzerland, climate change denier, announces G20 to think about 0.9 % cut in co2 emissions

  95. Inky 96

    The prime minister pledged a new police vessel before the end of the year and despite a funding shortfall I am proud to launch this raft today.

  96. A Voter 97

    And just up on the beach is the Crematorium thats why no one is here

  97. Pat O'Dea 98

    Government unveils plans to save manufacturing and rescue the economy – Ladies and Gentlmen, introducing the wooden segway.

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • PM announces changes to portfolios
    Paul Goldsmith will take on responsibility for the Media and Communications portfolio, while Louise Upston will pick up the Disability Issues portfolio, Prime Minister Christopher Luxon announced today. “Our Government is relentlessly focused on getting New Zealand back on track. As issues change in prominence, I plan to adjust Ministerial ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    8 hours ago
  • New catch limits for unique fishery areas
    Recreational catch limits will be reduced in areas of Fiordland and the Chatham Islands to help keep those fisheries healthy and sustainable, Oceans and Fisheries Minister Shane Jones says. The lower recreational daily catch limits for a range of finfish and shellfish species caught in the Fiordland Marine Area and ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    12 hours ago
  • Minister welcomes hydrogen milestone
    Energy Minister Simeon Brown has welcomed an important milestone in New Zealand’s hydrogen future, with the opening of the country’s first network of hydrogen refuelling stations in Wiri. “I want to congratulate the team at Hiringa Energy and its partners K one W one (K1W1), Mitsui & Co New Zealand ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Urgent changes to system through first RMA Amendment Bill
    The coalition Government is delivering on its commitment to improve resource management laws and give greater certainty to consent applicants, with a Bill to amend the Resource Management Act (RMA) expected to be introduced to Parliament next month. RMA Reform Minister Chris Bishop has today outlined the first RMA Amendment ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Overseas decommissioning models considered
    Overseas models for regulating the oil and gas sector, including their decommissioning regimes, are being carefully scrutinised as a potential template for New Zealand’s own sector, Resources Minister Shane Jones says. The Coalition Government is focused on rebuilding investor confidence in New Zealand’s energy sector as it looks to strengthen ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Release of North Island Severe Weather Event Inquiry
    Emergency Management and Recovery Minister Mark Mitchell has today released the Report of the Government Inquiry into the response to the North Island Severe Weather Events. “The report shows that New Zealand’s emergency management system is not fit-for-purpose and there are some significant gaps we need to address,” Mr Mitchell ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Justice Minister to attend Human Rights Council
    Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith is today travelling to Europe where he’ll update the United Nations Human Rights Council on the Government’s work to restore law and order.  “Attending the Universal Periodic Review in Geneva provides us with an opportunity to present New Zealand’s human rights progress, priorities, and challenges, while ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Patterson reopens world’s largest wool scouring facility
    Associate Agriculture Minister, Mark Patterson, formally reopened the world’s largest wool processing facility today in Awatoto, Napier, following a $50 million rebuild and refurbishment project. “The reopening of this facility will significantly lift the economic opportunities available to New Zealand’s wool sector, which already accounts for 20 per cent of ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Speech to the Southland Otago Regional Engineering Collective Summit, 18 April 2024
    Hon Andrew Bayly, Minister for Small Business and Manufacturing  At the Southland Otago Regional Engineering Collective (SOREC) Summit, 18 April, Dunedin    Ngā mihi nui, Ko Andrew Bayly aho, Ko Whanganui aho    Good Afternoon and thank you for inviting me to open your summit today.    I am delighted ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Government to introduce revised Three Strikes law
    The Government is delivering on its commitment to bring back the Three Strikes legislation, Associate Justice Minister Nicole McKee announced today. “Our Government is committed to restoring law and order and enforcing appropriate consequences on criminals. We are making it clear that repeat serious violent or sexual offending is not ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • New diplomatic appointments
    Foreign Minister Winston Peters has today announced four new diplomatic appointments for New Zealand’s overseas missions.   “Our diplomats have a vital role in maintaining and protecting New Zealand’s interests around the world,” Mr Peters says.    “I am pleased to announce the appointment of these senior diplomats from the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Humanitarian support for Ethiopia and Somalia
    New Zealand is contributing NZ$7 million to support communities affected by severe food insecurity and other urgent humanitarian needs in Ethiopia and Somalia, Foreign Minister Rt Hon Winston Peters announced today.   “Over 21 million people are in need of humanitarian assistance across Ethiopia, with a further 6.9 million people ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Arts Minister congratulates Mataaho Collective
    Minister for Arts, Culture and Heritage Paul Goldsmith is congratulating Mataaho Collective for winning the Golden Lion for best participant in the main exhibition at the Venice Biennale. "Congratulations to the Mataaho Collective for winning one of the world's most prestigious art prizes at the Venice Biennale.  “It is good ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Supporting better financial outcomes for Kiwis
    The Government is reforming financial services to improve access to home loans and other lending, and strengthen customer protections, Commerce and Consumer Affairs Minister Andrew Bayly and Housing Minister Chris Bishop announced today. “Our coalition Government is committed to rebuilding the economy and making life simpler by cutting red tape. We are ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Trade relationship with China remains strong
    “China remains a strong commercial opportunity for Kiwi exporters as Chinese businesses and consumers continue to value our high-quality safe produce,” Trade and Agriculture Minister Todd McClay says.   Mr McClay has returned to New Zealand following visits to Beijing, Harbin and Shanghai where he met ministers, governors and mayors and engaged in trade and agricultural events with the New ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • PM’s South East Asia mission does the business
    Prime Minister Christopher Luxon has completed a successful trip to Singapore, Thailand and the Philippines, deepening relationships and capitalising on opportunities. Mr Luxon was accompanied by a business delegation and says the choice of countries represents the priority the New Zealand Government places on South East Asia, and our relationships in ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • $41m to support clean energy in South East Asia
    New Zealand is demonstrating its commitment to reducing global greenhouse emissions, and supporting clean energy transition in South East Asia, through a contribution of NZ$41 million (US$25 million) in climate finance to the Asian Development Bank (ADB)-led Energy Transition Mechanism (ETM). Prime Minister Christopher Luxon and Climate Change Minister Simon Watts announced ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Minister releases Fast-track stakeholder list
    The Government is today releasing a list of organisations who received letters about the Fast-track applications process, says RMA Reform Minister Chris Bishop. “Recently Ministers and agencies have received a series of OIA requests for a list of organisations to whom I wrote with information on applying to have a ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Judicial appointments announced
    Attorney-General Judith Collins today announced the appointment of Wellington Barrister David Jonathan Boldt as a Judge of the High Court, and the Honourable Justice Matthew Palmer as a Judge of the Court of Appeal. Justice Boldt graduated with an LLB from Victoria University of Wellington in 1990, and also holds ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Education Minister heads to major teaching summit in Singapore
    Education Minister Erica Stanford will lead the New Zealand delegation at the 2024 International Summit on the Teaching Profession (ISTP) held in Singapore. The delegation includes representatives from the Post Primary Teachers’ Association (PPTA) Te Wehengarua and the New Zealand Educational Institute (NZEI) Te Riu Roa.  The summit is co-hosted ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Value of stopbank project proven during cyclone
    A stopbank upgrade project in Tairawhiti partly funded by the Government has increased flood resilience for around 7000ha of residential and horticultural land so far, Regional Development Minister Shane Jones says. Mr Jones today attended a dawn service in Gisborne to mark the end of the first stage of the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Anzac commemorations, TĂŒrkiye relationship focus of visit
    Foreign Affairs Minister Winston Peters will represent the Government at Anzac Day commemorations on the Gallipoli Peninsula next week and engage with senior representatives of the Turkish government in Istanbul.    “The Gallipoli campaign is a defining event in our history. It will be a privilege to share the occasion ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Minister to Europe for OECD meeting, Anzac Day
    Science, Innovation and Technology and Defence Minister Judith Collins will next week attend the OECD Science and Technology Ministerial conference in Paris and Anzac Day commemorations in Belgium. “Science, innovation and technology have a major role to play in rebuilding our economy and achieving better health, environmental and social outcomes ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Comprehensive Partnership the goal for NZ and the Philippines
    Prime Minister Christopher Luxon held a bilateral meeting today with the President of the Philippines, Ferdinand Marcos Jr.  The Prime Minister was accompanied by MP Paulo Garcia, the first Filipino to be elected to a legislature outside the Philippines. During today’s meeting, Prime Minister Luxon and President Marcos Jr discussed opportunities to ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Government commits $20m to Westport flood protection
    The Government has announced that $20 million in funding will be made available to Westport to fund much needed flood protection around the town. This measure will significantly improve the resilience of the community, says Local Government Minister Simeon Brown. “The Westport community has already been allocated almost $3 million ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Taupƍ takes pole position
    The Government is proud to support the first ever Repco Supercars Championship event in Taupƍ as up to 70,000 motorsport fans attend the Taupƍ International Motorsport Park this weekend, says Economic Development Minister Melissa Lee. “Anticipation for the ITM Taupƍ Super400 is huge, with tickets and accommodation selling out weeks ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Cost of living support for low-income homeowners
    Local Government Minister Simeon Brown has announced an increase to the Rates Rebate Scheme, putting money back into the pockets of low-income homeowners.  “The coalition Government is committed to bringing down the cost of living for New Zealanders. That includes targeted support for those Kiwis who are doing things tough, such ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Government backing mussel spat project
    The Coalition Government is investing in a project to boost survival rates of New Zealand mussels and grow the industry, Oceans and Fisheries Minister Shane Jones has announced. “This project seeks to increase the resilience of our mussels and significantly boost the sector’s productivity,” Mr Jones says. “The project - ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Government focused on getting people into work
    Benefit figures released today underscore the importance of the Government’s plan to rebuild the economy and have 50,000 fewer people on Jobseeker Support, Social Development and Employment Minister Louise Upston says. “Benefit numbers are still significantly higher than when National was last in government, when there was about 70,000 fewer ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Clean energy key driver to reducing emissions
    The Government’s commitment to doubling New Zealand’s renewable energy capacity is backed by new data showing that clean energy has helped the country reach its lowest annual gross emissions since 1999, Climate Change Minister Simon Watts says. New Zealand’s latest Greenhouse Gas Inventory (1990-2022) published today, shows gross emissions fell ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Earthquake-prone buildings review brought forward
    The Government is bringing the earthquake-prone building review forward, with work to start immediately, and extending the deadline for remediations by four years, Building and Construction Minister Chris Penk says. “Our Government is focused on rebuilding the economy. A key part of our plan is to cut red tape that ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • Thailand and NZ to agree to Strategic Partnership
    Prime Minister Christopher Luxon and his Thai counterpart, Prime Minister Srettha Thavisin, have today agreed that New Zealand and the Kingdom of Thailand will upgrade the bilateral relationship to a Strategic Partnership by 2026. “New Zealand and Thailand have a lot to offer each other. We have a strong mutual desire to build ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Government consults on extending coastal permits for ports
    RMA Reform Minister Chris Bishop and Transport Minister Simeon Brown have today announced the Coalition Government’s intention to extend port coastal permits for a further 20 years, providing port operators with certainty to continue their operations. “The introduction of the Resource Management Act in 1991 required ports to obtain coastal ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Inflation coming down, but more work to do
    Today’s announcement that inflation is down to 4 per cent is encouraging news for Kiwis, but there is more work to be done - underlining the importance of the Government’s plan to get the economy back on track, acting Finance Minister Chris Bishop says. “Inflation is now at 4 per ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • School attendance restored as a priority in health advice
    Refreshed health guidance released today will help parents and schools make informed decisions about whether their child needs to be in school, addressing one of the key issues affecting school attendance, says Associate Education Minister David Seymour. In recent years, consistently across all school terms, short-term illness or medical reasons ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Unnecessary bureaucracy cut in oceans sector
    Oceans and Fisheries Minister Shane Jones is streamlining high-level oceans management while maintaining a focus on supporting the sector’s role in the export-led recovery of the economy. “I am working to realise the untapped potential of our fishing and aquaculture sector. To achieve that we need to be smarter with ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Patterson promoting NZ’s wool sector at International Congress
    Associate Agriculture Minister Mark Patterson is speaking at the International Wool Textile Organisation Congress in Adelaide, promoting New Zealand wool, and outlining the coalition Government’s support for the revitalisation the sector.    "New Zealand’s wool exports reached $400 million in the year to 30 June 2023, and the coalition Government ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Removing red tape to help early learners thrive
    The Government is making legislative changes to make it easier for new early learning services to be established, and for existing services to operate, Associate Education Minister David Seymour says. The changes involve repealing the network approval provisions that apply when someone wants to establish a new early learning service, ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • RMA changes to cut coal mining consent red tape
    Changes to the Resource Management Act will align consenting for coal mining to other forms of mining to reduce barriers that are holding back economic development, Resources Minister Shane Jones says. “The inconsistent treatment of coal mining compared with other extractive activities is burdensome red tape that fails to acknowledge ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • McClay reaffirms strong NZ-China trade relationship
    Trade, Agriculture and Forestry Minister Todd McClay has concluded productive discussions with ministerial counterparts in Beijing today, in support of the New Zealand-China trade and economic relationship. “My meeting with Commerce Minister Wang Wentao reaffirmed the complementary nature of the bilateral trade relationship, with our Free Trade Agreement at its ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago

Page generated in The Standard by Wordpress at 2024-04-24T08:48:02+00:00