Caption Contest

Written By: - Date published: 1:52 pm, October 8th, 2010 - 48 comments
Categories: caption contest - Tags: , ,

The audience tell us over and over again that one of the things they love about Paul Henry is that he’s prepared to say the things we quietly think but are scared to say out loud.

TVNZ, 4 Oct 2010

48 comments on “Caption Contest”

  1. Nate 1

    *drool* BOOBIES! Can I touch… don’t be silly, you know I will!

    • jbanks 1.1

      I have been censured, my pay docked and I have been spoken to. I have apologised and been put on the naughty step. It’s been taken care of.

      You can stop whining now Lefties.

      • bbfloyd 1.1.1

        wow.. that was remarkably stupid JB. and entirely in keeping with your personality. did you learn this idiocy at home? or was it beaten into you out by the bike sheds?

        • jbanks 1.1.1.1

          Personal insults [check]
          No evidence to counter my point [check]

          I’m right again.

          [lprent: is [checked] like pwned? You know how I dislike that… It is a fast way to attract my attention. ]

          • The Voice of Reason 1.1.1.1.1

            Right again? It’s been taken care of? Not even close, wanksie. The agreed unpaid holiday was for the GG incident. It’s the other stuff that’s going to do him in. Geddit, now?

            • jbanks 1.1.1.1.1.1

              You don’t speak on behalf of TVNZ. TVNZ have publicly said they’re not punishing him further.
              Silly moderators puppet.

              • The Voice of Reason

                Not quite woken up yet, jb? The deal may have been done on the GG incident, but they have not yet begun the disciplinary process on the rest of his displays of bigotry. The GG one may well be now sorted, but the main complaint he will have to face will be dealt with soon enough. That will be ‘bringing TVNZ into disrepute’ and given the international furore, he’s not going top have much of a defence.

                If you can find anything from TVNZ that specifically says that they are not going to punish him further, I’d love to see it. But that won’t happen, because you’ve either made it up, or you are referring to their comments about the GG insults. Have a coffee and think about it more carefully, there’s a good chap.

          • jbanks 1.1.1.1.2

            A tick (known as a check mark or check in American English) is a mark used to indicate the concept “yes”, for example “yes; this has been verified” or, “yes; that is the correct answer”

            Unnecessarily explaining basic English [check]

      • headlessrd 1.1.2

        Also, JBanks, keep in mind two whole weeks from paul Henry’s salary. Oh the poor guy. How will he be able to feed himself? Maybe with the rest of his $200,000 salary paid to him by a publicly owned broadcaster which pays to him to spew his outrageous bigoted drivel.

  2. burt 2

    I’m a Labour supporter these days – I voted 10 times.

  3. Where’s Andi Brotherston when you need her?

  4. Nate 4

    Eww get your dikshit away from me!

  5. Richard 5

    “I hate myself and I want to die”

  6. THE MOUCH 6

    See you all on the 18th.

  7. Nick K 7

    I’d love to throttle that Daljit Singh.

  8. The Voice of Reason 8

    … and I tell you, some of them have got them this long!

    (An oldie but a goodie: http://www.private-eye.co.uk/covers.php?showme=182 )

  9. ianmac 9

    Yuck. How could anyone bear to touch one of them!

  10. uroskin 10

    Cack-handed attempt at a joke fell flat for knob-headed gypo.

  11. Roflcopter 11

    “Hey look! If I screw my face up like this I look like a chinaman!”

  12. To borrow from Jefferson Airplane (and given that he looks like he’s trying to squeeze out his one thought for the day):

    Well I thunk and I thunk
    Couldn’t think of anything better
    I tried and I tried
    Tryin’ ain’t doin’ me no good

    Thinkin’ ain’t doin’ me no good
    Thinkin’ ain’t doin’ me no good people
    Thinkin’ ain’t doin’ me no good, no good

  13. mcflock 13

    ahahahahaha I’m soo funny this line is soo amazing I mean ahahahaha this is why I’m paid soo much money and the people love me ahahahahaha – wait for it – haha – POTTY!!!

  14. Rharn 14

    Look. Smooth as a baby’s bottom. Thanks Gillette.

  15. Adrian 15

    ” I’d love to have a brain this big, but I haven’t got one at all! But I did get to be a National Party candidate cos that’s one of the requirements”.

  16. tc 16

    Marriage, affair with the rich eligible babe and now my payrise all gone thanks to you Mr Mirror lucky uncle paul still has his stellar career and thungs are going so well that nice Mr Ellis gave me some time off so there..na na na na naaaaa..

  17. toad 17

    No, Paul, you just don’t get it. It’s not Dick Shit, it’s Deep Shit, and you’re wallowing in it.

  18. toad 18

    And she had an [sprout: noun deleted] this big. How appropriate, because she’s an Indian.

  19. Craig Glen Eden 19

    Who cares if you have been a Lawyer a Judge, a Governor General should look like me white, I am superior Im a tory I m born to rule like you John, now give me that money.

  20. BLiP 20

    ” . . . the public loves you . . . you don’t have any friends, no one likes you . . . I’m not listening . . . you’re an idiot and a clown . . . no . . . * r a c i s t * . . . no, no, go away, leave us . . . go away? where would you be without me? I made us famous and the tricksy hobbits are trying to take it away . . .

  21. Logie97 21

    Henry attempting to do his Tommy Cooper routine. (My apologies to the late great TC…)

    … and I lost my job, just like that!

  22. Puddleglum 22

    ‘Look, they still don’t get it! I’ve been doing my short-haired Ken Dodd impersonation for over ten years and they still think I’m a competent frontman for the news. I might have to whip out my tickle stick soon!’

  23. Tel 23

    …yet another TVNZ hospital pass well executed.

  24. ak 24

    …..and as the talent and intelligence of populist, hatemongery-sustained despots declined, so too did “fiddling while Rome burned” give way to “Smile and Wave”: here a now-forgotten lackey attempts a final, desperate appeal to the media-driven racism of early 21st century NZ.

    Reproduced with kind permission from “The Key-Ring: our Magnificent Seven”. 2019: Joyce & Bassett, Enterpress. (Out of print)

  25. Colonial Viper 25

    Hope daddy’s made you so proud!!!

  26. Craig Glen Eden 26

    Pipa Pipa John key has pixies in the bottom of his garden they have big ears like mine fingers like mine and they are so funny looking.

  27. the sprout 27

    “Like a monkey with glasses” Paul Ego, 7 Days

  28. prism 28

    Steven Joyce bio.
    After completing a zoology degree at Massey University, Steven started his first radio station, Energy FM, in his home town of New Plymouth, at age 21

    Paul Henry is working on his zoology degree doing a PhD on himself as protean human being, and will slide into his slot on a radio station going forward.

  29. Treetop 29

    “An audience and I go wild”

  30. Oh please save me from the scary John Minto and his overside megaphone.

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