web analytics

Caption Contest

Written By: - Date published: 1:52 pm, October 8th, 2010 - 49 comments
Categories: caption contest - Tags: , ,

The audience tell us over and over again that one of the things they love about Paul Henry is that he’s prepared to say the things we quietly think but are scared to say out loud.

TVNZ, 4 Oct 2010

49 comments on “Caption Contest ”

  1. Nate 1

    *drool* BOOBIES! Can I touch… don’t be silly, you know I will!

    • jbanks 1.1

      I have been censured, my pay docked and I have been spoken to. I have apologised and been put on the naughty step. It’s been taken care of.

      You can stop whining now Lefties.

      • bbfloyd 1.1.1

        wow.. that was remarkably stupid JB. and entirely in keeping with your personality. did you learn this idiocy at home? or was it beaten into you out by the bike sheds?

        • jbanks

          Personal insults [check]
          No evidence to counter my point [check]

          I’m right again.

          [lprent: is [checked] like pwned? You know how I dislike that… It is a fast way to attract my attention. ]

          • The Voice of Reason

            Right again? It’s been taken care of? Not even close, wanksie. The agreed unpaid holiday was for the GG incident. It’s the other stuff that’s going to do him in. Geddit, now?

            • jbanks

              You don’t speak on behalf of TVNZ. TVNZ have publicly said they’re not punishing him further.
              Silly moderators puppet.

              • The Voice of Reason

                Not quite woken up yet, jb? The deal may have been done on the GG incident, but they have not yet begun the disciplinary process on the rest of his displays of bigotry. The GG one may well be now sorted, but the main complaint he will have to face will be dealt with soon enough. That will be ‘bringing TVNZ into disrepute’ and given the international furore, he’s not going top have much of a defence.

                If you can find anything from TVNZ that specifically says that they are not going to punish him further, I’d love to see it. But that won’t happen, because you’ve either made it up, or you are referring to their comments about the GG insults. Have a coffee and think about it more carefully, there’s a good chap.

          • jbanks

            A tick (known as a check mark or check in American English) is a mark used to indicate the concept “yes”, for example “yes; this has been verified” or, “yes; that is the correct answer”

            Unnecessarily explaining basic English [check]

      • headlessrd 1.1.2

        Also, JBanks, keep in mind two whole weeks from paul Henry’s salary. Oh the poor guy. How will he be able to feed himself? Maybe with the rest of his $200,000 salary paid to him by a publicly owned broadcaster which pays to him to spew his outrageous bigoted drivel.

  2. burt 2

    I’m a Labour supporter these days – I voted 10 times.

  3. Where’s Andi Brotherston when you need her?

  4. Nate 4

    Eww get your dikshit away from me!

  5. Richard 5

    “I hate myself and I want to die”

  6. THE MOUCH 6

    See you all on the 18th.

  7. Nick K 7

    I’d love to throttle that Daljit Singh.

  8. The Voice of Reason 8

    … and I tell you, some of them have got them this long!

    (An oldie but a goodie: http://www.private-eye.co.uk/covers.php?showme=182 )

  9. ianmac 9

    Yuck. How could anyone bear to touch one of them!

  10. uroskin 10

    Cack-handed attempt at a joke fell flat for knob-headed gypo.

  11. Roflcopter 11

    “Hey look! If I screw my face up like this I look like a chinaman!”

  12. To borrow from Jefferson Airplane (and given that he looks like he’s trying to squeeze out his one thought for the day):

    Well I thunk and I thunk
    Couldn’t think of anything better
    I tried and I tried
    Tryin’ ain’t doin’ me no good

    Thinkin’ ain’t doin’ me no good
    Thinkin’ ain’t doin’ me no good people
    Thinkin’ ain’t doin’ me no good, no good

  13. mcflock 13

    ahahahahaha I’m soo funny this line is soo amazing I mean ahahahaha this is why I’m paid soo much money and the people love me ahahahahaha – wait for it – haha – POTTY!!!

  14. Rharn 14

    Look. Smooth as a baby’s bottom. Thanks Gillette.

  15. Adrian 15

    ” I’d love to have a brain this big, but I haven’t got one at all! But I did get to be a National Party candidate cos that’s one of the requirements”.

  16. tc 16

    Marriage, affair with the rich eligible babe and now my payrise all gone thanks to you Mr Mirror lucky uncle paul still has his stellar career and thungs are going so well that nice Mr Ellis gave me some time off so there..na na na na naaaaa..

  17. toad 17

    No, Paul, you just don’t get it. It’s not Dick Shit, it’s Deep Shit, and you’re wallowing in it.

  18. toad 18

    And she had an [sprout: noun deleted] this big. How appropriate, because she’s an Indian.

  19. Craig Glen Eden 19

    Who cares if you have been a Lawyer a Judge, a Governor General should look like me white, I am superior Im a tory I m born to rule like you John, now give me that money.

  20. BLiP 20

    ” . . . the public loves you . . . you don’t have any friends, no one likes you . . . I’m not listening . . . you’re an idiot and a clown . . . no . . . * r a c i s t * . . . no, no, go away, leave us . . . go away? where would you be without me? I made us famous and the tricksy hobbits are trying to take it away . . .

  21. Logie97 21

    Henry attempting to do his Tommy Cooper routine. (My apologies to the late great TC…)

    … and I lost my job, just like that!

  22. Puddleglum 22

    ‘Look, they still don’t get it! I’ve been doing my short-haired Ken Dodd impersonation for over ten years and they still think I’m a competent frontman for the news. I might have to whip out my tickle stick soon!’

  23. Tel 23

    …yet another TVNZ hospital pass well executed.

  24. ak 24

    …..and as the talent and intelligence of populist, hatemongery-sustained despots declined, so too did “fiddling while Rome burned” give way to “Smile and Wave”: here a now-forgotten lackey attempts a final, desperate appeal to the media-driven racism of early 21st century NZ.

    Reproduced with kind permission from “The Key-Ring: our Magnificent Seven”. 2019: Joyce & Bassett, Enterpress. (Out of print)

  25. Colonial Viper 25

    Hope daddy’s made you so proud!!!

  26. Craig Glen Eden 26

    Pipa Pipa John key has pixies in the bottom of his garden they have big ears like mine fingers like mine and they are so funny looking.

  27. the sprout 27

    “Like a monkey with glasses” Paul Ego, 7 Days

  28. prism 28

    Steven Joyce bio.
    After completing a zoology degree at Massey University, Steven started his first radio station, Energy FM, in his home town of New Plymouth, at age 21

    Paul Henry is working on his zoology degree doing a PhD on himself as protean human being, and will slide into his slot on a radio station going forward.

  29. Treetop 29

    “An audience and I go wild”

  30. Oh please save me from the scary John Minto and his overside megaphone.

Links to post

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • Tokelau Language Week reminds us to stay united and strong
    Staying strong in the face of challenges and being true to our heritage and languages are key to preserving our cultural identity and wellbeing, is the focus of the 2020 Tokelau Language Week. Minister for Pacific Peoples, Aupito William Sio, says this year’s theme, ‘Apoapo tau foe, i nā tāfea ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • NZ announces a third P-3 deployment in support of UN sanctions
    The Government has deployed a Royal New Zealand Air Force P-3K2 Orion (P-3) maritime patrol aircraft to support the implementation of United Nations Security Council (UNSC) resolutions imposing sanctions against North Korea, announced Minister of Foreign Affairs Winston Peters and Minister of Defence Ron Mark. “New Zealand has long supported ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Pacific trade and development agreement a reality
    Pacific regional trade and development agreement PACER Plus will enter into force in 60 days now that the required eight countries have ratified it. Trade and Export Growth Minister David Parker welcomed the announcement that the Cook Islands is the eighth nation to ratify this landmark agreement. “The agreement represents ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Securing a pipeline of teachers
    The Government is changing its approach to teacher recruitment as COVID-19 travel restrictions continue, by boosting a range of initiatives to get more Kiwis into teaching. “When we came into Government, we were faced with a teacher supply crisis,” Education Minister Chris Hipkins said. “Over the past three years, we ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Border exceptions for a small number of international students with visas
    The Government has established a new category that will allow 250 international PhD and postgraduate students to enter New Zealand and continue their studies, in the latest set of border exceptions. “The health, safety and wellbeing of people in New Zealand remains the Government’s top priority. Tight border restrictions remain ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • First COVID-19 vaccine purchase agreement signed
    The Government has signed an agreement to purchase 1.5 million COVID-19 vaccines – enough for 750,000 people – from Pfizer and BioNTech, subject to the vaccine successfully completing all clinical trials and passing regulatory approvals in New Zealand, say Research, Science and Innovation Minister Megan Woods and Health Minister Chris Hipkins. ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • International statement – End-to-end encryption and public safety
    We, the undersigned, support strong encryption, which plays a crucial role in protecting personal data, privacy, intellectual property, trade secrets and cyber security.  It also serves a vital purpose in repressive states to protect journalists, human rights defenders and other vulnerable people, as stated in the 2017 resolution of the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Ministry of Defence Biodefence Assessment released
    The Ministry of Defence has today released a Defence Assessment examining Defence’s role across the spectrum of biological hazards and threats facing New Zealand. Biodefence: Preparing for a New Era of Biological Hazards and Threats looks at how the NZDF supports other agencies’ biodefence activities, and considers the context of ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • New Approaches to Economic Challenges: Confronting Planetary Emergencies: OECD 9 October 2020
    New Approaches to Economic Challenges: Confronting Planetary Emergencies: OECD 9 October 2020 Hon David Parker’s response following Thomas Piketty and Esther Duflo. Good morning, good afternoon, and good evening, wherever in the world you might be. I first acknowledge the excellent thought provoking speeches of Thomas Piketty and Esther ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Kaipara Moana restoration takes next step
    A Memorandum of Understanding has been signed today at Waihāua Marae between the Crown, local iwi and councils to protect, restore and enhance the mauri of Kaipara Moana in Northland. Environment Minister David Parker signed the document on behalf of the Crown along with representatives from Ngā Maunga Whakahī, Ngāti ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • New Zealand and Uruguay unite on reducing livestock production emissions
    Agriculture Minister Damien O’Connor and Uruguayan Minister of Livestock, Agriculture and Fisheries Carlos María Uriarte have welcomed the launch of a three-year project that will underpin sustainable livestock production in Uruguay, Argentina, and Costa Rica.  The project called ‘Innovation for pasture management’ is led by Uruguay’s National Institute of Agricultural ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • 3100 jobs created through marae upgrades
    Hundreds of marae throughout the country will be upgraded through investments from the Provincial Growth Fund’s refocused post COVID-19 funding to create jobs and put money into the pockets of local tradespeople and businesses, Regional Economic Development Minister Shane Jones and Māori Development Minister Nanaia Mahuta have announced. “A total ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Health volunteers recognised in annual awards
    Health Minister Chris Hipkins has announced 9 teams and 14 individuals are the recipients of this year’s Minister of Health Volunteer Awards.  “The health volunteer awards celebrate and recognise the thousands of dedicated health sector volunteers who give many hours of their time to help other New Zealanders,” Mr Hipkins ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Community COVID-19 Fund supports Pacific recovery
    The Minister for Pacific Peoples, Aupito William Sio says a total of 264 groups and individuals have successfully applied for the Pacific Aotearoa Community COVID-19 Recovery Fund, that will support Pacific communities drive their own COVID-19 recovery strategies, initiatives, and actions. “I am keen to see this Fund support Pacific ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Community benefits from Māori apprenticeships
    Up to 50 Māori apprentices in Wellington will receive paid training to build houses for their local communities, thanks to a $2.75 million investment from the Māori Trades and Training Fund, announced Employment Minister Willie Jackson today. “This funding will enable Ngāti Toa Rangatira Incorporated to provide its Ngā Kaimahi ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Training fund supports Māori jobseekers
    Rapidly growing sectors will benefit from a $990,000 Māori Trades and Training Fund investment which will see Wellington jobseekers supported into work, announced Employment Minister Willie Jackson today. “This funding will enable Sapphire Consultants Ltd. to help up to 45 Māori jobseekers into paid training initiatives over two years through ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Ruakura Inland Port development vital infrastructure for Waikato
    The Government is investing $40 million to develop an inland port at Ruakura which will become a freight super-hub and a future business, research and residential development for the Waikato, Urban Development and Transport Minister Phil Twyford, and Māori Development Minister Nanaia Mahuta announced today. The funding has been has ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Appointments made to Defence Expert Review Group
    Defence Minister Ron Mark announced today the establishment of an Expert Review Group to review a number of aspects of the New Zealand Defence Force’s (NZDF) structure, information management and record-keeping processes.  The Expert Review Group’s work arises out of the first recommendation from the Report of the Government’s Inquiry ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • No active community cases of COVID-19
    There are no active community cases of COVID-19 remaining in the country after the last people from the recent outbreak have recovered from the virus, Health Minister Chris Hipkins said today. “This is a big milestone. New Zealanders have once again through their collective actions squashed the virus. The systems ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Clean energy upgrade for more public buildings
    More public buildings will be supported by the Government to upgrade to run on clean energy, the Minister for Climate Change James Shaw announced today. Minister Shaw announced that Lincoln and Auckland universities will receive support through the Clean-Powered Public Service Fund to replace fossil fuel boilers. Southern, Taranaki, and ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago
  • Schools back donations scheme for the second year
    More schools have opted in to the donations scheme for 2021, compared to 2020 when the scheme was introduced. “The families of more than 447,000 students will be better off next year, with 94% of eligible schools and kura opting into the scheme,” Education Minister Chris Hipkins said. “This is ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago