Caption contest

Written By: - Date published: 11:59 am, July 29th, 2018 - 76 comments
Categories: caption contest, john key, Simon Bridges, uncategorized - Tags:

Simon BRidges John Key John Howard

Keep it seemly …

76 comments on “Caption contest”

  1. Clive Macann 1

    Say cheese. Then the meltdown and you are all toast.

  2. Andre Hock 2

    You can see the petroleum on their breath.

  3. marty mars 3

    The Gree Dees – greatest hits – how deep is your depravity, tragedy part 43, staying a slime, im really a joke, and of course the big favorite – lonely dazed, lonely tight when am I gonna get my money…

  4. Incognito 4

    The Elders having a good laugh at Simon.

  5. Incognito 5

    When you don’t get the joke, you are the joke.

  6. Incognito 6

    Simon photobombs selfie.

  7. Incognito 7

    The Goof, the Bad, and the Ugly.

  8. Robert Guyton 8

    A sneak of weasels
    (What is the collective noun for weasels)

  9. Wensleydale 9

    “Thanks to the vile necromantic arts of John Key and his young apprentice Simon Bridges, the National Party Conference was graced by the reanimated corpse of John Howard.”

  10. marty mars 10

    The moment Simon realises he’s taken far too much acid…

  11. Drowsy M. Kram 11

    Blue-green anyone?

    Send in the clowns

  12. Paul Campbell 12

    Fuck your flag Winston

  13. Stuart Munro 13

    We want New Zealanders living in cars and under bridges.

  14. Carolyn_Nth 14

    Hair today, gone tomorrow.

  15. Pete 15

    Simon and da Finkels

  16. marty mars 16

    sack, back and crack

  17. SPC 17

    The goon, the gone and the going aka the hirsute, the bald and the pony tail.

  18. veutoviper 18

    I will probably get condemned here – and there – but this poster on Your NZ (or rather someone in their house) nailed it in one with this (slightly abbreviated) playing on Bridges’ tweet of this photo plus “Me and two Johns”:

    Simon and two Johns = three Dicks

    h/t Duperez –

  19. mary_a 19

    OMG, the resurrection of Larry, Moe and Curly. Sad the lengths Natz will go to make itself seem a viable alternative to government!

  20. KJT 20

    The long term beneficiary, the war criminal and the White collar fraudster.

  21. Tricledrown 21

    The exclusive brethren

    • Robert Guyton 21.1

      That’s really funny, Tricledown!
      What!? Just noticed it’s “drown”, not “down”.

  22. ianmac 22

    Going, Gone, and Gone.

  23. millsy 23

    The Three Stooges reboot has finally beencast.

  24. Adrian Thornton 24

    Blood Sucking Zombies from Hell….Now playing in a country near you…even one little taste of the housing market will turn into one of their mindless minions!

    • Incognito 24.1

      The Prosecutor, the Solicitor, the Banker.

      • David Mac 24.1.1

        walked into a bar…

        • Incognito

          … the Banker horses around gets the attention of the barmaid …

          • David Mac

            …she tucks her pony-tail into her collar as the 2 Johns slide their bottoms across the soft leather of a booth. Simon shakes hands with a ‘Say Cheese’ smile, orders a Shandy for himself and cocktails for the right pair of Johns. Mr Howard ordered a ‘Snowball in Hell’ and Key asked Simon to get him an Inspiration Wasteland on the rocks.’

            • greywarshark

              A gallon of eau de vie, three straws and quick now we have finished the speeches schmoozing the punters.

              • David Mac

                The barmaid thanked Simon for his tip and slid the coin into the video jukebox. A fan of early Clint Eastwood movies and choral music she selected the theme/trailer of an old movie called Kelly’s Heroes.

                • Incognito

                  Key casts a dark glance at his conspiracy fellows, checks for hidden mikes in the pepper & salt shakers, and opens the conversation: “I’ve got some dirt in my top drawer that will change our fortunes. What I’m saying is that with a bit of help from our friends in the MSM we’re on the brink of something exceptional”. Simon lets escape a deep sigh of relief that sounds more like rumbling flatulence, which attracts the attention of some other dodgy characters hidden in the dark shadows of the bar: “Thank you Sir John, I was getting a little concerned about my lack of popularity”. Key, making a throat slitting gesture, hushes Simon “Zip it sweetie, John and I are having a conversation. You need to learn to respect your elders”.

                  • David Mac

                    Simon leaned in and said “I think Grant Robertson fiddles with another man’s thing.”

                    • Incognito

                      It says “[k]eep it seemly …” at the top of the post so here goes:

                      Key, after a long gulp from his Inspiration Wasteland and lowering his voice with a slight slurring of his words: “I have it on good authority that all Ministers of Finance fiddle while Rome burns. Tell me, have you fed your chickens lately? It is a question that every PM and aspiring PM gets asked. You’ll need to be prepared with a wise-cracking answer or you’re gone by lunch time. Don will see to it.” Simon lets rip an even louder sigh of relief that unsettles other punters in the shadows and some rustling noises can be heard. John and John smile at each other, knowingly, and nod; the GCSB is in the bar doing important reconnaissance work on unsuspecting innocent law-abiding citizens minding their own business and trying to have a quiet beer in the bar.

  25. What an “ashpirational” group.

  26. JanM 26

    The Three Little Pigs

  27. David Mac 27

    Howard’s End remake flounders.

  28. Cinny 28

    Cheesy grins and hidden hands….. things that make you go hmmmmmmmm…

  29. AB 29

    Rough as guts, blood and guts, get some guts

  30. UncookedSelachimorpha 30

    No such thing as poverty! SMILE!!

  31. Incognito 31

    The Three Muppeteers: one for us, all for us!

  32. AB 32

    Rough as guts, blood and guts, get some guts

  33. mauī 33

    Introducing “National” the stage show. Bringing to life past elections wins that never existed – 1817, 1917 and 2017.

    What the critics say,

    “Jesus Christ Superstar meets dead Cats”

  34. Craig H 34

    Yeah, nah, yeah…

  35. peterlepaysan 35

    Spot the idiot.

  36. mac1 36

    “No. Simon, that’s not what ‘a meeting in camera’ means!”

  37. NZJester 37

    So a seat warmer, a racist and, a has been walk into a bar.
    They all hit their heads on it and fall over as that bar was their moral bar and it was extremely low.

  38. Doogs 38

    Gog, Magog and the Progeny

  39. peterh 39

    Well two people thought it was a good idea to bring him over

  40. marty mars 41

    meat and two vege

  41. Drongo, Dingo. and Dorkey.

  42. Philj 43

    First I’ll build 10 bridges, then I’ll lower class size then I’ll …

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