web analytics

Caption contest

Written By: - Date published: 9:00 am, September 20th, 2018 - 61 comments
Categories: caption contest, humour - Tags:

61 comments on “Caption contest ”

  1. Stuart Munro 1

    Simon preparing for his comeback role on Dancing With The Stars.

  2. Ankerrawshark 2

    #lets keep Simon

  3. Gabby 3

    ‘Orm riwl gangsta, riwlee or em!’

  4. Ankerrawshark 4

    125 years after women given the vote women still standing aside while big dick takes centre stage

  5. Doogs 5

    Two gun Tex and his gorgeous molls.

  6. Muttonbird 6

    Every day is Simon Bridges day.

  7. AB 7

    Communication Skills Training – Day 1: Increase your coherence and persuasive power through sign language

  8. gsays 8

    “Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right…..”

  9. David 9

    Simple Symon says do this………

  10. mac1 10

    “I dreamt I worked in marble halls….”

    As close as you get to the seat of power, Simon!

  11. mac1 11

    Four pillars of the Establishment?

    Certainly not what TE Lawrence had in mind with his autobiography, Simon………

  12. Enough is Enough 12

    47%

  13. Chris T 13

    “All three of us know what GDP is”

  14. Muttonbird 14

    As as aside, those stomach stapling operations add years to your age, don’t they?

    Someone give her a feed for God’s sake.

    • joe90 14.1

      Your vile jibes about HDP’s marriage and sex workers and your comments about this woman’s weight, appearance, and personal choices make it pretty damn clear that you’d fit right in over at the sewer.

      • Anne 14.1.1

        Hey hey joe 90, I don’t think mb was meaning to be sexist. I have been thinking exactly the same for a while now. I actually have felt a little concerned because her weight loss has been too rapid and if it continues there will nothing of her left.

        • Sabine 14.1.1.1

          the weight loss is one thing, but the for me its simply the fact that she has not an ounce of charity or generosity in her body.
          She is pretty, but heartless. Cold, unpleasant, unapproachable, only interested in hard currency.
          And that got nothing to do with weight.

      • Muttonbird 14.1.2

        You were there when Stormy Daniels came up. Someone said she was a classless bitch (not me). I said what did you expect. Sex workers are fine and some might have some integrity, but Stormy Daniels? I think not.

        The whole paying for sex thing is weird anyway, imo.

        And I don’t owe Paula Bennet or Duplicity Allan any consideration whatsoever – they do too much damage to my world.

    • veutoviper 14.2

      And they can also cause serious medical problems, as happened with Parekura Horomia when he had the operation and it had to be reversed.

      I have just posted on the other post re the photos of Bridges and friends (link below). Those photos were taken on Tuesday, and Paula Bennett was nowhere in sight in the House yesterday for Question time or later; nor for the photos, speeches etc relating to Suffrage Day.

      It had crossed my mind that this could be related to her operation. Much as I don’t like her, I would not want that for her.

      How some men celebrated Suffrage Day

  15. Philj 15

    Have i got the sale of the century for you…. NU ZEELUND!

  16. mac1 16

    “This is a wind-up, right?”

    Simon seems to be. Gotta keep the hands in full view when being photographed………..

  17. bwaghorn 17

    This is how much vacant space is between the average nats ears.

  18. Jack 18

    Look, they’re opposable”

  19. Editractor 19

    Life was so much simpler on the road

  20. McFlock 20

    Male priviledge in action: women need to be more mature than men to even get close to party leadership, whereas any entitled little shit with a dick can get far in life as long as he shouts at his opponents and is obsequious to the more powerful.

    option b: “look, mum one and mum two, I am a gangster, pew! pew! pew!”

  21. Desperate to find the elusive leaker, bridges pulls out one of the tricks he learnt as a crown prosecutor – the old musical dance number. Apparently there were 37 confessions before the first number ended. Result.

  22. Hooch 22

    National Suffer Git Day

  23. mosa 23

    What a total waste of space.

  24. opium 24

    Ho Ho Ho

  25. rod 25

    These two are my speech writers. How lucky can one guy be ?

  26. Nick 26

    Paula benefit has a very large knife behind her back, she’s itching to use it, especially when she sees soimin acting like this.

  27. SPC 27

    Simon Bridges mimics Andrew Little, first with the hand moves, then by being replaced by a woman as leader of his party.

  28. Ffloyd 28

    Caption what? There’s nothing there. It’s all blank.

  29. mosa 29

    Yeah Simon it’s all just a joke eh.

  30. Drowsy M. Kram 30

    ‘Straighten up and fly right.’

    Buzzard Bridges better mind the ‘monkeys’ at his back.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Straighten_Up_and_Fly_Right

  31. Incognito 31

    Butter wouldn’t melt but they’re oh-so tuff on crime.

  32. Incognito 32

    Simon is doing his Vincent Vega impersonation from Pulp Fiction. And he nails it like John Key ‘hammered’ that nail during the Northland by-election.

  33. Muttonbird 33

    “Hope you enjoy sleeping in your cars, NZ”

  34. NZJester 34

    Simon testing out the new mini mirrors stuck on his index fingers and thumbs so he can keep an eye out for backstabbers behind him.
    (For some reason they all seem to be carefully angled at Paula.)

  35. SPC 35

    Came acorss this on a US blog

    TRUMP…

    Is a poor man’s idea of a RICH man,

    A DUMB man’s idea of a SMART man,

    And a WEAK man’s idea of a STRONG MAN

  36. Hanswurst 36

    “Look, Paula! When I stick my hand up the dummy this way, it grins and sticks its thumbs in the air!”

  37. Cooper oil 37

    Meth-testing? We made Bank!!

  38. SaveNZ 38

    When my role is finished as placeholder for the Natz, I think I’ll join Max Key in a new rap video or perhaps a fake deaf interpreter for the South African government. Paula’s keen for me to see my full potential as a faux entertainer when I step down…

  39. Miskeleni 39

    When you spent more on limousines than it costs to charter an entire plane to Nauru – and you think you got away with it.

  40. Tricledrown 40

    Me Too

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • Celebrating the Entry Into Force of the Treaty on the Prohibition of Nuclear Weapons
    [Opening comments, welcome and thank you to Auckland University etc] It is a great pleasure to be here this afternoon to celebrate such an historic occasion - the entry into force of the Treaty on the Prohibition of Nuclear Weapons. This is a moment many feared would never come, but ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Supporting disabled people to stay connected
    The Government is providing $3 million in one-off seed funding to help disabled people around New Zealand stay connected and access support in their communities, Minister for Disability Issues, Carmel Sepuloni announced today. The funding will allow disability service providers to develop digital and community-based solutions over the next two ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Voluntary saliva testing offered to quarantine workers from Monday
    Border workers in quarantine facilities will be offered voluntary daily COVID-19 saliva tests in addition to their regular weekly testing, COVID-19 Response Minister Chris Hipkins said today. This additional option will be rolled out at the Jet Park Quarantine facility in Auckland starting on Monday 25 January, and then to ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Next steps in firearms buy-back
    The next steps in the Government’s ambitious firearms reform programme to include a three-month buy-back have been announced by Police Minister Poto Williams today.  “The last buy-back and amnesty was unprecedented for New Zealand and was successful in collecting 60,297 firearms, modifying a further 5,630 firearms, and collecting 299,837 prohibited ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Jobs for Nature projects target iconic ecosystems
    Upscaling work already underway to restore two iconic ecosystems will deliver jobs and a lasting legacy, Conservation Minister Kiri Allan says.  “The Jobs for Nature programme provides $1.25 billion over four years to offer employment opportunities for people whose livelihoods have been impacted by the COVID-19 recession. “Two new projects ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • New Public Housing Plan announced
    The Government has released its Public Housing Plan 2021-2024 which outlines the intention of where 8,000 additional public and transitional housing places announced in Budget 2020, will go. “The Government is committed to continuing its public house build programme at pace and scale. The extra 8,000 homes – 6000 public ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Prime Minister congratulates President Joe Biden on his inauguration
    Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern has congratulated President Joe Biden on his inauguration as the 46th President of the United States of America. “I look forward to building a close relationship with President Biden and working with him on issues that matter to both our countries,” Jacinda Ardern said. “New Zealand ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Jobs for Nature funding will create training and employment opportunities
    A major investment to tackle wilding pines in Mt Richmond will create jobs and help protect the area’s unique ecosystems, Biosecurity Minister Damien O’Connor says. The Mt Richmond Forest Park has unique ecosystems developed on mineral-rich geology, including taonga plant species found nowhere else in the country. “These special plant ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Pre-departure testing extended to all passengers to New Zealand
    To further protect New Zealand from COVID-19, the Government is extending pre-departure testing to all passengers to New Zealand except from Australia, Antarctica and most Pacific Islands, COVID-19 Response Minister Chris Hipkins said today. “The change will come into force for all flights arriving in New Zealand after 11:59pm (NZT) on Monday ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • Bay Cadets learn skills to protect environment
    Bay Conservation Cadets launched with first intake Supported with $3.5 million grant Part of $1.245b Jobs for Nature programme to accelerate recover from Covid Cadets will learn skills to protect and enhance environment Environment Minister David Parker today welcomed the first intake of cadets at the launch of the Bay ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Cook Islanders to resume travel to New Zealand
    The Prime Minister of New Zealand Jacinda Ardern and the Prime Minister of the Cook Islands Mark Brown have announced passengers from the Cook Islands can resume quarantine-free travel into New Zealand from 21 January, enabling access to essential services such as health. “Following confirmation of the Cook Islands’ COVID ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Supporting communities and landowners to grow employment opportunities
    Jobs for Nature funding is being made available to conservation groups and landowners to employ staff and contractors in a move aimed at boosting local biodiversity-focused projects, Conservation Minister Kiritapu Allan has announced. It is estimated some 400-plus jobs will be created with employment opportunities in ecology, restoration, trapping, ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Border exception for some returning international tertiary students
    The Government has approved an exception class for 1000 international tertiary students, degree level and above, who began their study in New Zealand but were caught offshore when border restrictions began. The exception will allow students to return to New Zealand in stages from April 2021. “Our top priority continues ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Tiwai deal gives time for managed transition
    Today’s deal between Meridian and Rio Tinto for the Tiwai smelter to remain open another four years provides time for a managed transition for Southland. “The deal provides welcome certainty to the Southland community by protecting jobs and incomes as the region plans for the future. The Government is committed ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • New member for APEC Business Advisory Council
    Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern has appointed Anna Curzon to the APEC Business Advisory Council (ABAC). The leader of each APEC economy appoints three private sector representatives to ABAC. ABAC provides advice to leaders annually on business priorities. “ABAC helps ensure that APEC’s work programme is informed by business community perspectives ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Govt’s careful economic management recognised
    The Government’s prudent fiscal management and strong policy programme in the face of the COVID-19 global pandemic have been acknowledged by the credit rating agency Fitch. Fitch has today affirmed New Zealand’s local currency rating at AA+ with a stable outlook and foreign currency rating at AA with a positive ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Additional actions to keep COVID-19 out of NZ
    The Government is putting in place a suite of additional actions to protect New Zealand from COVID-19, including new emerging variants, COVID-19 Response Minister Chris Hipkins said today. “Given the high rates of infection in many countries and evidence of the global spread of more transmissible variants, it’s clear that ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • 19 projects will clean up and protect waterways
    $36 million of Government funding alongside councils and others for 19 projects Investment will clean up and protect waterways and create local jobs Boots on the ground expected in Q2 of 2021 Funding part of the Jobs for Nature policy package A package of 19 projects will help clean up ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • New Zealand Government acknowledges 175th anniversary of Battle of Ruapekapeka
    The commemoration of the 175th anniversary of the Battle of Ruapekapeka represents an opportunity for all New Zealanders to reflect on the role these conflicts have had in creating our modern nation, says Associate Minister for Arts, Culture and Heritage Kiri Allan. “The Battle at Te Ruapekapeka Pā, which took ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago