web analytics

Caption contest

Written By: - Date published: 5:20 pm, October 4th, 2018 - 48 comments
Categories: caption contest, humour - Tags:

48 comments on “Caption contest ”

  1. rod 1

    Oh, it’s the Pieman. Probably his next job. Simple enough.

  2. UncookedSelachimorpha 2

    i sure hope this little muffin isn’t gay

    cos i don’t really like gay little muffins

  3. Its the mad Dr Fenklestein getting his reading from a fortune cookie…and that isn’t a smile hes wearing ,… its the all pervading sense of nausea and impending doom from the ‘fortune’ hes been delivered that’s forming a grimace on his face…

  4. McFlock 4

    “My presence here is a good news story that has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH THE LEAK INQUIRY, LEAK! LEAK! LEAK! and I sure hope you guys focus on my visit to this wonderful business AND NOT THE LEAKS COMING FROM MY CAUCUS LIKE A DEPTH-CHARGING SCENE IN DAS BOOT! YES THERE’S BEEN A LEAK ABOUT THE LEAK INQUIRY BUT THIS IS SMALL NEWS, STOP TALKING ABOUT THE LEAKS, YOU BASTARDS!!! These goods are precisely baked WHEREAS ALL THE LEAKS ARE HALF-BAKED and they all look really yummy. Have I distracted you from the LEAKS? Travel expenses for this visit came out of my parliamentary services budget AND WILL PROBABLY BE LEAKED”

  5. Ankerrawshark 5

    Simple Simon meet a pie man, but unfortunately that didn’t save him….

  6. Adrian 6

    ” Oh for fucks sake Simon, I said TIN FOIL, get a tin foil hat .”

  7. Editractor 7

    Do you know the leakin’ man? The leakin’ man, the leakin’ man.
    Do you know the leakin’ man who works in parliament?

    Yes, I know the leakin’ man. The leakin’ man, the leakin’ man.
    Oh, yes, I know the leakin’ man, who works in parliament.

    Then two of us know the leakin’ man, the leakin’ man.

  8. Chris T 8

    “I maybe a bit of a downer as a party leader and look silly in this hat, but at least I know what a GDP is”

  9. Muttonbird 9

    I’m going to feed this cookie to my dog, Judith.

    • Meanwhile , as Simon generously places the muffin into the dog bowl, he carelessly forgets that it was Judith who was his mentor,… and the adage ‘ don’t bite the hand that feeds you’….

  10. mac1 10

    “And I’ll be happy to see those nice young men
    In their clean white coats
    And they’re coming to take me away ha-haaa……………”

  11. AB 11

    If you don’t like my obsolete ideology, I’ve got muffins

  12. AB 12

    Young man wastes his life by joining a Tory death cult

    • … And yet while being attracted to the sense of camaraderie and elitist company , found that the colour of the Black Sun was not particularly to his liking , nor was spending long nights at 3am performing strange rituals in drafty castles in Bavaria… and the gnawing sense that back home,… he was being perused for his travel expenses…

  13. Hooch 13

    Bridges widens his search for the leaker even further to find out who ate all the pies

  14. ianmac 14

    There is a nasty Leaker round the corner and I am dressed up to protect myself from her.

    • ….’ However, as Soimon was soon to find out,… that his choice of cotton based clothing instead of wet weather gear was no defense against the onslaught of leaked material that was soon to assault him ”…

  15. bwaghorn 15

    Gee I wonder if having a bun in the oven could get me elected.

  16. joe90 16

    Yes, we ate pies. My friends and I, the boys and girls. Yes, we ate pies. I liked pies. Still like pies. We ate pies,

  17. John 17

    This is embarassing

  18. mauī 18

    Simon’s DNA successfully synthesised into a single sourdough cookie.

  19. mauī 19

    New headgear for National party supporters. The amount of times they have to wash themselves to relieve guilt means permanent shower caps!

  20. mauī 20

    Homer Simpson’s first day at the nuclear cookie factory.

  21. mauī 21

    National unveils thousands of new voters who all think and look exactly the same.

    • …’ And yet , in true industrial cunning ,…while doing that , – also introduces a new line of production and labels it the ‘Blue Dragon’ muffin to capture the foreign markets ‘….

  22. NZJester 22

    Contamination of food items by fecal matter believed to be from the feces of a male bull at NZ factory still a mystery.
    Meanwhile, this picture was leaked from National that was taken in the factory premises on the same day as the fecal matter contamination occurred.

  23. georgecom 23

    Simon Bridges launches the new line of National Party Muffins
    a delicious BLUE berry muffin

    watch out for the upcoming launch of its range of soups, including Leak Soup

  24. georgecom 24

    Bridges says
    Question: “What does this high bran muffin and me have in common?”
    Answer: “We both irritate the shit out of you”

  25. Ankerrawshark 25

    Man forms special bond with pie

    ….

    If I thought jami lees problems were embarrassing, how embarrassing am I

    ………

    Simon shouts the National caucus lunch but no one turns up…..

    Gee I have to admit I feel a bit mean writing this

  26. Stuart Munro 26

    If you give a Gnat a meat pie
    He will want tomato sauce on it
    And that and gravy leaks
    will mean he needs to take a bath.

    If you lend him your rubber duck
    he’ll get homesick
    and if he finds your tap shoes
    while he’s going through your cupboards
    he’ll want to dance like with the stars

    cos that’s how Gnat careers progress
    through tragedy to farce.

    (apologies to Laura Numeroff )

  27. peterh 27

    Getting muffins for mike hoskings, he done a,couple of bad items on me this week, and now he has gone and done two good ones on labour we have to get him back
    like John a cup of tea right place in the works woners

  28. Incognito 28

    Simon’s solution for dissenting MPs and voters from the left after he had an epiphany watching Soylent Green on his mobile.

  29. That guy has the condom on the wrong head.

  30. mary_a 30

    Simon going through the process of being assessed at his application interview for his suitability of a new job.

    He was asked to state what the item is he is holding in his hand. He failed!

  31. ankerawshark 31

    “I am a ninety trial baking pies as I know in my other job I am toast”

  32. SPC 32

    The caucus told me not to think out loud or put my foot in it.

    And then said if I wore these I could eat the last cookie.

  33. Philj 33

    Simon demonstrates new mini contraceptive device, and looks forward to his cookie reward.

  34. Chris 34

    “What have I become?”

  35. Stuart Munro 35

    Take for instance, Gareth Morgan and ‘is pie shop
    Business never better, using only pussycats and toast
    And a pussy’s good for maybe six or seven at the most.

    Poppin’ pussies into pies! Wouldn’t do in my shop!
    Just the thought of it’s enough to make you sick!
    And I’m telling you them pussycats is quick.
    No denying times is hard.

  36. Nick 36

    “My Kingdom for a muffin….and a leaker”

  37. mosa 37

    Yes i will grin …only because it worked for our lord and saviour John.

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • Put our most vulnerable first
    Don’t forget whānau and communities most at risk, says the Green Party, as the Government lays out its three-phase plan for Omicron. ...
    2 days ago
  • Boosting our immunity against Omicron
    With Omicron in the community, it’s vital we all do our bit to help to slow the spread, keep each other safe and protect our health system. One of the most important ways we can reduce the risk of Omicron is to get a booster dose as soon as we’re ...
    2 days ago
  • Equitable response to Omicron vital
    The Green Party supports the Government’s decision to move Aotearoa New Zealand to traffic light level Red at 11.59pm tonight, but says its success will depend on the support that is made available to the most vulnerable. ...
    5 days ago
  • How we’re preparing for Omicron
    As countries around the world experience Omicron outbreaks, we’re taking steps now to ensure we’re as prepared as possible and our communities are protected. ...
    1 week ago
  • What’s Labour achieved so far?
    Quite a bit! This Government was elected to take on the toughest issues facing Aotearoa – and that’s what we’re doing. Since the start of the pandemic, protecting lives and livelihoods has been a priority, but we’ve also made progress on long-term challenges, to deliver a future the next generation ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Tackling the big issues in 2022
    This year, keeping Kiwis safe from COVID will remain a key priority of the Government – but we’re also pushing ahead on some of New Zealand’s biggest long-term challenges. In 2022, we’re working to get more Kiwis into homes, reduce emissions, lift children out of poverty, and ensure people get ...
    2 weeks ago

  • Penguin rehab and native forest restoration get helping hand
    A long-running penguin rehab facility which has been hard hit by the tourism downturn, and work to restore native forest habitats in the Catlins are being supported through Jobs for Nature funding, Conservation Minister Kiri Allan says. Otago’s Penguin Place and The Hokonui Rūnanga Catlins Biodiversity Project will receive combined ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    21 hours ago
  • Resilient economy reflected in Crown accounts
    The Government’s financial accounts continue to reflect a resilient economy that has performed better than expected and puts the country in a strong position to respond to Omicron, Grant Robertson said. The Crown Accounts for the five months to the end of November were more favourable than forecast in the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    21 hours ago
  • Government announces three phase public health response to Omicron
    Reducing isolation period for cases and close contacts at Phase Two and Three to 10 and seven days Definition of close contact required to isolate changes to household or household like contacts at Phase Three Increased use of rapid antigen tests with test to return policy put in place for ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • New Ambassador to Thailand announced
    Foreign Affairs Minister Nanaia Mahuta today announced the appointment of Jonathan Kings as New Zealand’s next Ambassador to Thailand. “Aotearoa New Zealand has a long-standing relationship with Thailand, celebrating the 65th anniversary of diplomatic representation between our countries in 2021. We also share much in common at regional and multilateral levels ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Government’s Family Package continues to deliver for New Zealanders
    The Families Package helped around 330,000 families in its first year - more than half of all families with children in NZ These families received an estimated $55 per week more from Families Package payments in 2018/19 than in 2017/18, on average Families Package increases to the maximum possible Accommodation ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • New Zealand retains top spot in global anti-corruption rankings
    Justice Minister Kris Faafoi has welcomed news of New Zealand’s ongoing position as top in the world anti-corruption rankings. The 2021 Corruption Perceptions Index released by global anti-corruption organisation, Transparency International, ranks New Zealand first equal with Denmark and Finland, with a score of 88 out of 100. “This is an ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Testing improvements see New Zealand well prepared for Omicron
    New Zealand’s PCR testing capacity can be increased by nearly 20,000 tests per day to deal with a surge in cases as part of our wider COVID-19 testing strategy, Associate Minister of Health Dr Ayesha Verrall said. “We have continued to adapt our public health response to safeguard the health ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • 5,000 portable air cleaners for schools on their way
    As schools are preparing to return, Education Minister Chris Hipkins has announced 5,000 air cleaners have been ordered for New Zealand schools. “As we know, along with vaccination, testing, good hygiene and physical distancing, good ventilation is important in minimising the risk of airborne transmission of the virus that causes ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • New Zealand to move to Red from 11.59pm today
    All of New Zealand will move to the Red setting of the Covid Protection Framework (CPF) at 11:59pm today as Omicron is potentially now transmitting in the community, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern says. “Nine COVID-19 cases reported yesterday in the Nelson/Marlborough region are now confirmed as Omicron, and a further ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Mandatory boosters for key workforces progressing well
    More than 5,785 (82%) border workers eligible for a booster vaccination at 6 months have received it so far, COVID-19 Response Minister Chris Hipkins says. “That’s a really strong uptake considering we announced the requirement the week before Christmas, but we need to continue this momentum,” Chris Hipkins said. “We ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • NZ to move to Red
    Nine COVID-19 cases reported yesterday in the Nelson/Marlborough region have now been confirmed as the Omicron variant, and a further case from the same household was confirmed late yesterday. These cases are in a single family that flew to Auckland on 13 January to attend a wedding and other events ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • New Zealand to provide further help for Tonga
    Aotearoa New Zealand is giving an additional $2 million in humanitarian funding for Tonga as the country recovers from a volcanic eruption and tsunami last weekend, Foreign Affairs Minister Nanaia Mahuta and Defence Minister Peeni Henare said today. This brings Aotearoa New Zealand’s contribution to $3 million. “This support will ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • Quarterly benefit numbers show highest number of exits into work
    The Government’s strong focus on supporting more people into work is reflected in benefit figures released today which show a year-on-year fall of around 21,300 people receiving a main benefit in the December 2021 quarter, Minister for Social Development and Employment Carmel Sepuloni said. “Our response to COVID has helped ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Northland to move to Orange, NZ prepared for Omicron 
    Northland to move to Orange Rest of New Zealand stays at Orange in preparedness for Omicron All of New Zealand to move into Red in the event of Omicron community outbreak – no use of lockdowns Govt planning well advanced – new case management, close contact definition and testing rules ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • RNZAF C-130 Hercules flight departs for Tonga as Navy vessels draw nearer to Tongatapu
    A Royal New Zealand Air Force C-130 Hercules has departed Base Auckland Whenuapai for Tonga carrying aid supplies, as the New Zealand aid effort ramps up, Foreign Affairs Minister Nanaia Mahuta and Defence Minister Peeni Henare said today. “The aircraft is carrying humanitarian aid and disaster relief supplies, including water ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • New Zealand prepared to send support to Tonga
    New Zealand is ready to assist Tonga in its recovery from Saturday night’s undersea eruption and tsunami, Foreign Affairs Minister Nanaia Mahuta and Defence Minister Peeni Henare said today. “Following the successful surveillance and reconnaissance flight of a New Zealand P-3K2 Orion on Monday, imagery and details have been sent ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Aotearoa New Zealand stands ready to assist people of Tonga
    The thoughts of New Zealanders are with the people of Tonga following yesterday’s undersea volcanic eruption and subsequent tsunami waves, Foreign Affairs Minister Nanaia Mahuta says. “Damage assessments are under way and New Zealand has formally offered to provide assistance to Tonga,” said Nanaia Mahuta. New Zealand has made an ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Record high of new homes consented continues
    In the year ended November 2021, 48,522 new homes were consented, up 26 per cent from the November 2020 year. In November 2021, 4,688 new dwellings were consented. Auckland’s new homes consented numbers rose 25 per cent in the last year. Annual figures for the last nine months show more ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Report trumpets scope for ice cream exports
    Latest research into our premium ice cream industry suggests exporters could find new buyers in valuable overseas markets as consumers increasingly look for tip top quality in food. Economic Development Minister Stuart Nash has released a new report for the Food and Beverage Information Project. The project is run by ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Honouring the legacy of legendary kaumātua Muriwai Ihakara
    Associate Minister for Arts, Culture, and Heritage Kiri Allan expressed her great sadness and deepest condolences at the passing of esteemed kaumātua, Muriwai Ihakara. “Muriwai’s passing is not only a loss for the wider creative sector but for all of Aotearoa New Zealand. The country has lost a much beloved ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Have your say on proposed changes to make drinking water safer
    Associate Minister for the Environment Kiri Allan is urging all New Zealanders to give feedback on proposed changes aimed at making drinking water safer. “The current regulations are not fit for purpose and don’t offer enough protection, particularly for those whose water comes from smaller supplies,” Kiri Allan said. “This ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago
  • Planting the seeds for rewarding careers
    A boost in funding for a number of Jobs for Nature initiatives across Canterbury will provide sustainable employment opportunities for more than 70 people, Conservation Minister Kiri Allan says. “The six projects are diverse, ranging from establishing coastline trapping in Kaikōura, to setting up a native plant nursery, restoration planting ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago