web analytics

Caption contest

Written By: - Date published: 5:20 pm, October 4th, 2018 - 48 comments
Categories: caption contest, humour - Tags:

48 comments on “Caption contest ”

  1. rod 1

    Oh, it’s the Pieman. Probably his next job. Simple enough.

  2. UncookedSelachimorpha 2

    i sure hope this little muffin isn’t gay

    cos i don’t really like gay little muffins

  3. Its the mad Dr Fenklestein getting his reading from a fortune cookie…and that isn’t a smile hes wearing ,… its the all pervading sense of nausea and impending doom from the ‘fortune’ hes been delivered that’s forming a grimace on his face…

  4. McFlock 4

    “My presence here is a good news story that has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH THE LEAK INQUIRY, LEAK! LEAK! LEAK! and I sure hope you guys focus on my visit to this wonderful business AND NOT THE LEAKS COMING FROM MY CAUCUS LIKE A DEPTH-CHARGING SCENE IN DAS BOOT! YES THERE’S BEEN A LEAK ABOUT THE LEAK INQUIRY BUT THIS IS SMALL NEWS, STOP TALKING ABOUT THE LEAKS, YOU BASTARDS!!! These goods are precisely baked WHEREAS ALL THE LEAKS ARE HALF-BAKED and they all look really yummy. Have I distracted you from the LEAKS? Travel expenses for this visit came out of my parliamentary services budget AND WILL PROBABLY BE LEAKED”

  5. Ankerrawshark 5

    Simple Simon meet a pie man, but unfortunately that didn’t save him….

  6. Adrian 6

    ” Oh for fucks sake Simon, I said TIN FOIL, get a tin foil hat .”

  7. Editractor 7

    Do you know the leakin’ man? The leakin’ man, the leakin’ man.
    Do you know the leakin’ man who works in parliament?

    Yes, I know the leakin’ man. The leakin’ man, the leakin’ man.
    Oh, yes, I know the leakin’ man, who works in parliament.

    Then two of us know the leakin’ man, the leakin’ man.

  8. Chris T 8

    “I maybe a bit of a downer as a party leader and look silly in this hat, but at least I know what a GDP is”

  9. Muttonbird 9

    I’m going to feed this cookie to my dog, Judith.

    • Meanwhile , as Simon generously places the muffin into the dog bowl, he carelessly forgets that it was Judith who was his mentor,… and the adage ‘ don’t bite the hand that feeds you’….

  10. mac1 10

    “And I’ll be happy to see those nice young men
    In their clean white coats
    And they’re coming to take me away ha-haaa……………”

  11. AB 11

    If you don’t like my obsolete ideology, I’ve got muffins

  12. AB 12

    Young man wastes his life by joining a Tory death cult

    • … And yet while being attracted to the sense of camaraderie and elitist company , found that the colour of the Black Sun was not particularly to his liking , nor was spending long nights at 3am performing strange rituals in drafty castles in Bavaria… and the gnawing sense that back home,… he was being perused for his travel expenses…

  13. Hooch 13

    Bridges widens his search for the leaker even further to find out who ate all the pies

  14. ianmac 14

    There is a nasty Leaker round the corner and I am dressed up to protect myself from her.

    • ….’ However, as Soimon was soon to find out,… that his choice of cotton based clothing instead of wet weather gear was no defense against the onslaught of leaked material that was soon to assault him ”…

  15. bwaghorn 15

    Gee I wonder if having a bun in the oven could get me elected.

  16. joe90 16

    Yes, we ate pies. My friends and I, the boys and girls. Yes, we ate pies. I liked pies. Still like pies. We ate pies,

  17. John 17

    This is embarassing

  18. mauī 18

    Simon’s DNA successfully synthesised into a single sourdough cookie.

  19. mauī 19

    New headgear for National party supporters. The amount of times they have to wash themselves to relieve guilt means permanent shower caps!

  20. mauī 20

    Homer Simpson’s first day at the nuclear cookie factory.

  21. mauī 21

    National unveils thousands of new voters who all think and look exactly the same.

    • …’ And yet , in true industrial cunning ,…while doing that , – also introduces a new line of production and labels it the ‘Blue Dragon’ muffin to capture the foreign markets ‘….

  22. NZJester 22

    Contamination of food items by fecal matter believed to be from the feces of a male bull at NZ factory still a mystery.
    Meanwhile, this picture was leaked from National that was taken in the factory premises on the same day as the fecal matter contamination occurred.

  23. georgecom 23

    Simon Bridges launches the new line of National Party Muffins
    a delicious BLUE berry muffin

    watch out for the upcoming launch of its range of soups, including Leak Soup

  24. georgecom 24

    Bridges says
    Question: “What does this high bran muffin and me have in common?”
    Answer: “We both irritate the shit out of you”

  25. Ankerrawshark 25

    Man forms special bond with pie

    ….

    If I thought jami lees problems were embarrassing, how embarrassing am I

    ………

    Simon shouts the National caucus lunch but no one turns up…..

    Gee I have to admit I feel a bit mean writing this

  26. Stuart Munro 26

    If you give a Gnat a meat pie
    He will want tomato sauce on it
    And that and gravy leaks
    will mean he needs to take a bath.

    If you lend him your rubber duck
    he’ll get homesick
    and if he finds your tap shoes
    while he’s going through your cupboards
    he’ll want to dance like with the stars

    cos that’s how Gnat careers progress
    through tragedy to farce.

    (apologies to Laura Numeroff )

  27. peterh 27

    Getting muffins for mike hoskings, he done a,couple of bad items on me this week, and now he has gone and done two good ones on labour we have to get him back
    like John a cup of tea right place in the works woners

  28. Incognito 28

    Simon’s solution for dissenting MPs and voters from the left after he had an epiphany watching Soylent Green on his mobile.

  29. That guy has the condom on the wrong head.

  30. mary_a 30

    Simon going through the process of being assessed at his application interview for his suitability of a new job.

    He was asked to state what the item is he is holding in his hand. He failed!

  31. ankerawshark 31

    “I am a ninety trial baking pies as I know in my other job I am toast”

  32. SPC 32

    The caucus told me not to think out loud or put my foot in it.

    And then said if I wore these I could eat the last cookie.

  33. Philj 33

    Simon demonstrates new mini contraceptive device, and looks forward to his cookie reward.

  34. Chris 34

    “What have I become?”

  35. Stuart Munro 35

    Take for instance, Gareth Morgan and ‘is pie shop
    Business never better, using only pussycats and toast
    And a pussy’s good for maybe six or seven at the most.

    Poppin’ pussies into pies! Wouldn’t do in my shop!
    Just the thought of it’s enough to make you sick!
    And I’m telling you them pussycats is quick.
    No denying times is hard.

  36. Nick 36

    “My Kingdom for a muffin….and a leaker”

  37. mosa 37

    Yes i will grin …only because it worked for our lord and saviour John.

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • Advancing our relationship in India
    Foreign Minister Nanaia Mahuta departs for India tomorrow as she continues to reconnect Aotearoa New Zealand to the world.  The visit will begin in New Delhi where the Foreign Minister will meet with the Vice President Hon Jagdeep Dhankar and her Indian Government counterparts, External Affairs Minister S. Jaishankar and ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Government Northland housing investment to spark transformational change
    Over $10 million infrastructure funding to unlock housing in Whangārei The purchase of a 3.279 hectare site in Kerikeri to enable 56 new homes Northland becomes eligible for $100 million scheme for affordable rentals Multiple Northland communities will benefit from multiple Government housing investments, delivering thousands of new homes for ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Battle of Ohaeawai remembered
    A memorial event at a key battle site in the New Zealand land wars is an important event to mark the progress in relations between Māori and the Crown as we head towards Waitangi Day, Minister for Te Arawhiti Kelvin Davis said. The Battle of Ohaeawai in June 1845 saw ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • More Police deployed to the frontline
    More Police officers are being deployed to the frontline with the graduation of 54 new constables from the Royal New Zealand Police College today. The graduation ceremony for Recruit Wing 362 at Te Rauparaha Arena in Porirua was the first official event for Stuart Nash since his reappointment as Police ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Further support for upper North Island regions hit by significant weather
    The Government is unlocking an additional $700,000 in support for regions that have been badly hit by the recent flooding and storm damage in the upper North Island. “We’re supporting the response and recovery of Auckland, Waikato, Coromandel, Northland, and Bay of Plenty regions, through activating Enhanced Taskforce Green to ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • The Princess Royal to visit New Zealand
    Prime Minister Chris Hipkins has welcomed the announcement that Her Royal Highness The Princess Royal, Princess Anne, will visit New Zealand this month. “Princess Anne is travelling to Aotearoa at the request of the NZ Army’s Royal New Zealand Corps of Signals, of which she is Colonel in Chief, to ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Government and horticulture sector target $12b in exports by 2035
    A new Government and industry strategy launched today has its sights on growing the value of New Zealand’s horticultural production to $12 billion by 2035, Agriculture Minister Damien O’Connor said. “Our food and fibre exports are vital to New Zealand’s economic security. We’re focussed on long-term strategies that build on ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Cost of living support extended for families and businesses
    25 cents per litre petrol excise duty cut extended to 30 June 2023 – reducing an average 60 litre tank of petrol by $17.25 Road User Charge discount will be re-introduced and continue through until 30 June Half price public transport fares extended to the end of June 2023 saving ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • More Kiwis in work as rising wages match inflation
    The strong economy has attracted more people into the workforce, with a record number of New Zealanders in paid work and wages rising to help with cost of living pressures. “The Government’s economic plan is delivering on more better-paid jobs, growing wages and creating more opportunities for more New Zealanders,” ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Government boosts fund for Auckland flooding
    The Government is providing a further $1 million to the Mayoral Relief Fund to help communities in Auckland following flooding, Minister for Emergency Management Kieran McAnulty announced today. “Cabinet today agreed that, given the severity of the event, a further $1 million contribution be made. Cabinet wishes to be proactive ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • New Cabinet focused on bread and butter issues
    The new Cabinet will be focused on core bread and butter issues like the cost of living, education, health, housing and keeping communities and businesses safe, Prime Minister Chris Hipkins has announced. “We need a greater focus on what’s in front of New Zealanders right now. The new Cabinet line ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Prime Minister to meet with PM Albanese
    Prime Minister Chris Hipkins will travel to Canberra next week for an in person meeting with Australian Prime Minister, Anthony Albanese. “The trans-Tasman relationship is New Zealand’s closest and most important, and it was crucial to me that my first overseas trip as Prime Minister was to Australia,” Chris Hipkins ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • Government makes first payment to Auckland Flooding fund
    The Government is providing establishment funding of $100,000 to the Mayoral Relief Fund to help communities in Auckland following flooding, Minister for Emergency Management Kieran McAnulty announced. “We moved quickly to make available this funding to support Aucklanders while the full extent of the damage is being assessed,” Kieran McAnulty ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Government steps up to assist Auckland during flooding
    As the Mayor of Auckland has announced a state of emergency, the Government, through NEMA, is able to step up support for those affected by flooding in Auckland. “I’d urge people to follow the advice of authorities and check Auckland Emergency Management for the latest information. As always, the Government ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Poroporoaki: Titewhai Te Huia Hinewhare Harawira
    Ka papā te whatitiri, Hikohiko ana te uira, wāhi rua mai ana rā runga mai o Huruiki maunga Kua hinga te māreikura o te Nota, a Titewhai Harawira Nā reira, e te kahurangi, takoto, e moe Ka mōwai koa a Whakapara, kua uhia te Tai Tokerau e te kapua pōuri ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Enhanced Task Force Green Approved following Cyclone Hale
    Carmel Sepuloni, Minister for Social Development and Employment, has activated Enhanced Taskforce Green (ETFG) in response to flooding and damaged caused by Cyclone Hale in the Tairāwhiti region. Up to $500,000 will be made available to employ job seekers to support the clean-up. We are still investigating whether other parts ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • General Election to be held on 14 October 2023
    The 2023 General Election will be held on Saturday 14 October 2023, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern announced today. “Announcing the election date early in the year provides New Zealanders with certainty and has become the practice of this Government and the previous one, and I believe is best practice,” Jacinda ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago
  • Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern announces resignation
    Jacinda Ardern has announced she will step down as Prime Minister and Leader of the Labour Party. Her resignation will take effect on the appointment of a new Prime Minister. A caucus vote to elect a new Party Leader will occur in 3 days’ time on Sunday the 22nd of ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago