Caption contest
Written By:
- Date published:
5:20 pm, October 4th, 2018 - 48 comments
Categories: caption contest, humour -
Tags:
48 comments on “Caption contest ”
- Comments are now closed
- Comments are now closed
CommentsOpinions
Recent Comments
FeedsPartyGovtMedia
- The Pacific needs to upgrade regional intelligence cooperation
Strengthening regional partnerships can help Pacific intelligence capabilities overcome rising challenges. The Pacific should establish a centralised intelligence hub alongside or through the expansion of the existing Pacific Fusion Centre to deliver greater intelligence capabilities ...4 hours ago - There goes the neighbourhood, there goes my loafer
So, a funny thing happened last Friday. I had just dropped a couple of tabs and I was lining up side four of Tales from Topographic Oceans when out of nowhere I had this incredible vision.It got me so damn excited I wrote the whole thing down and put it ...5 hours ago - From customer to catalyst: anchoring Australia’s northern marine industry through government procu...
To turn northern Australia’s marine potential into performance, the Australian government must stop acting as a passive regulator and start acting as an active customer. Procurement is power, and in thin, undercapitalised markets such as ...5 hours ago
- Chipping away at National’s gang-patch ban
National's racist gang-patch was clearly intended to humiliate gangs and allow them to be punished for being seen in public, and police have taken on that mission with enthusiasm, attacking funerals and kicking in doors to seize banned clothing (meanwhile, they've also abandoned domestic violence and mental health callouts, in ...6 hours ago - The Coalition of Chaos: Democracy Be Damned
The New Zealand coalition government, a Frankenstein’s monster of National, ACT, and NZ First, has once again shown its utter contempt for our democracy. This time it's the Ministry for Regulation, who didn’t even bother to read thousands of submissions on the Regulatory Standards Bill, a piece of legislation so ...6 hours ago - Assault From All Sides
The majority of the 23,000 submissions for the Regulatory Standards Bill consultation weren’t even read.According to Marc Daalder1 David Seymour said ‘there just weren’t that many’ worthwhile ideas in the submissions.But how does he know when his new $76 million Ministry, with some of the highest paid public servants in ...7 hours ago - National’s Blogger David Farrar Smears Senior Doctors
8 hours ago
- Climate Change: Now what?
When National came to power in 2023, one of its first acts was to repeal all useful climate change policy. When they finally released their amended emissions reduction plan, it relied on a single project using a fantasy technology for the bulk of its reductions. And now, that project has ...8 hours ago
- Fiscal starting points
Not that long ago, New Zealand’s fiscal balances looked pretty good by advanced country standards. Sure, the fiscal pressures from longer life expectancies were beginning to build – as they were in most of the advanced world – but in absolute and relative terms New Zealand still looked in pretty ...10 hours ago - Jack Tame vs. Chlöe Swarbrick: Q+A’s Double Standards
Jack Tame’s Q+A interviews are often a litmus test for political discourse in Aotearoa, but his recent frost-fest with Green Party co-leader Chlöe Swarbrick exposed a troubling bias that contrasts sharply with his kid-gloves treatment of other politicians, such as ACT’s Brooke van Velden in prior appearances. The disparity in ...10 hours ago
- Ensuring Australia’s defence through complex interdependence
Australia’s defence thinking is based on outdated grand strategies. Adopting a complex interdependence grand strategy could create robust connections with many countries, enhancing national resilience to strategic, economic, technological and societal shocks. Specifically, Defence would ...10 hours ago
- Govt announces fixing mess it probably created…
..Yesterday (18 May), Ministers Simeon Brown and Matt Doocey released statements announcing $164 million over four years to “expand” urgent and after-hours healthcare services throughout Aotearoa New Zealand.Minister Brown said:“This means 98 per cent of New Zealanders will be able to receive in-person urgent care within one hour’s drive of ...11 hours ago - Prabowo chooses ambiguity in South China Sea policy
Indonesian President Prabowo Subianto’s South China Sea policy has many contradictions and inconsistencies, particularly regarding China’s nine-dash line. In separate joint statements Indonesia has shown an inconsistent stance on China’s maritime claims. Indonesia’s parliament is ...13 hours ago
- Turning the Page
Your love is my turning pageWhere only the sweetest words remainEvery kiss is a cursive lineEvery touch is a redefining phraseSongwriter: Ryan O'NealMorena folks, today I’d like to share a little about the Writers Festival we’ve just had in Tamaki Makaurau and where my mind went as I listened to ...13 hours ago - Gentailers threaten 25% power price hikes
The six key news items from Aotearoa’s political economy around housing, climate and poverty on Monday, May 19 are: The lobby group for the big electricity gentailers has warned the Electricity Authority that consumer power prices could rise 25% if the market is reformed to force Meridian, Contact, Genesis & ...15 hours ago - Taking back political sanity in Aotearoa can be done, but don’t underestimate the work ahead
An article in The Conversation this week, titled “A ‘Trump slump’ has lifted the left in Canada and now Australia – what are the lessons for NZ?“ poses some interesting challenges for our Left as a whole right now, and it’s worth considering at least some of the questions it raises ...24 hours ago - 2025 SkS Weekly Climate Change & Global Warming News Roundup #20
A listing of 29 news and opinion articles we found interesting and shared on social media during the past week: Sun, May 11, 2025 thru Sat, May 17, 2025. Plugging the Weather & Climate Livestream planned to start on May 28 During the past week and thanks to Andrew Dessler's ClimateBrink ...1 day ago - Nikki ‘Noboats’ Willis has 200+ Guests turn up at her Electorate Office
..As most of the mainstream media was meeting behind school sheds, sniggering as Act Minister Brooke Van Velden uttered the word ‘cunt’ in Parliament, adults around the country were continuing the struggle for pay equity in industries that have been traditionally under-valued, under-paid, and undertaken by women.For many families, this ...1 day ago - Privileges Committee delivers racist decision
Many MPs stand and support the hakaThere is no other credible interpretation of what has influenced the Privileges Committee decision regarding the penalties for performing a haka in the house other than pure racism. The broader context for this cannot be ignored and supports a view that Te Pāti Māori have ...1 day ago - Judith Collins – Arsehole Of The Week
In a move that reeks of authoritarianism, Judith Collins, as chair of Parliament’s Privileges Committee, has overseen the unprecedented suspension of three Te Pāti Māori MPs...Rawiri Waititi, Debbie Ngarewa-Packer, and Hana-Rāwhiti Maipi-Clarke...for performing a haka in protest against the divisive Treaty Principles Bill. This 21-day suspension for the co-leaders and ...1 day ago
- Coalition’s Climate Chaos: Selling Out To Big Polluters
Climate Change Minister Simon WattsYou may have noticed that climate change has largely dropped off the radar, even though many people are still dealing with the long laborious task of recovering after unprecedented storms decimated many parts of New Zealand. So what is the National-led government doing about this existential ...1 day ago
- Hope and Dreams
Big wheels roll through fieldsWhere sunlight streamsOh meet me in a land of hope and dreamsMeet me in a land of hope and dreamsSong: Bruce Springsteen. Read more ...2 days ago - As big as our problems are, the possibilities are bigger
Let me be blunt, says Nicola Willis to a room of people in suits, it's not the easiest time to be putting together a Budget.Let me be blunt: that's the only line in the speech with even the hint of a pulse.The rest is utterly bland and predictable. It's the ...2 days ago - Has this country’s media lost its collective mind?
..To re-cap:Tuesday 6 May - Workplace Minister, and member of the Act Party which won only 8.64% of the vote, Brooke van Velden, announced that she had unilaterally scrapped thirty-three equal pay agreements.Minister Van Velden explained:"Claims have been able to progress without strong evidence of undervaluation and there have been ...2 days ago - Fact brief – Did Viking settlers enjoy a warm beach climate in Greenland?
Skeptical Science is partnering with Gigafact to produce fact briefs — bite-sized fact checks of trending claims. You can submit claims you think need checking via the tipline. Did Viking settlers enjoy a warm beach climate in Greenland? While Greenland’s southern coast supported some vegetation in the Medieval warm period (950-1250 ...2 days ago
- A return to Nature.
Thomas Hobbes wrote his seminal work Leviathan in 1651. In it he describes the world system as it was then as being in “a state of nature,” something that some have interpreted as anarchy. However, anarchy has order and purpose. It is not chaos. In fact, if we think of ...2 days ago - Bernard’s Saturday Soliloquy for the week to May 17
Labour’s Finance Spokesperson Barbara Edmonds (left) committed to the same Government net debt cap of 50% of GDP and the same aspiration of returning the budget to surplus by 2028/29 as National, which would severe limit the ability of any future Labour-led government to fix the unmeasured infrastructure, housing, health, ...2 days ago - National Has Increased The Child Suicide Rate
The latest UNICEF Innocenti Report Card 19, Fragile Gains - Child Wellbeing at Risk in an Unpredictable World, should be a wake up call for the New Zealand government. Ranking us 32nd out of 36 OECD and EU countries for child wellbeing, it lays bare a shameful truth: our kids ...3 days ago
- Energy security needs pipelines, not promises
Few issues are as urgent and as poorly understood as Australia’s energy policy. While we build up renewable energy to replace an ageing and increasingly uneconomic coal fleet, we are more dependent on gas to ...3 days ago
- Catholic Theology on the Economy
While many of the world’s Christian religions seem preoccupied with personal issues that Jesus, their founder, barely touched upon, they must engage with economic issues too. Robert Prevost, chose the name Leo on becoming the 267th Bishop of Rome – the Pope – in homage to Leo XIII (in office ...3 days ago - Making fact briefs available as videos on Youtube
Skeptical Science is partnering with Gigafact to produce fact briefs — bite-sized fact checks of trending harmfully misleading claims, produced primarily for use by thinly-resourced newswrooms but also directly available to the general public. We announced this (renewed) collaboration in April 2024 in a blog post and have published more than 30 ...3 days ago
- Maybe Little should actually win the election first?
So, Andrew Little thinks the Wellington City Council should cancel its plans for the Golden Mile, because there's an election in five months: Andrew Little told Nine to Noon he'd be disappointed to see the council march ahead with the plan, given local body elections are to be held ...3 days ago
- Showcasing the economic benefits of AUKUS—today
To convince the public of AUKUS’s value, government and industry messaging should focus on how the program can provide benefits in the near term—not in 20 years. AUKUS is a megaproject that will define the ...3 days ago
- Friday 16 May
The Council of Trade Unions met with Brooke van Velden and demanded that she reversed the recent pay equity changes. Remaining staff members at polytech UCOL may be expected to pick up some of the work of colleagues made redundant if a proposed restructure goes ahead. Health NZ on Thursday ...3 days ago - The Haka. The Cheering. Then The Bite.
IMPORTANT: Even if next week’s debate lessens the severe penalty onTe Pāti Māori, the punishment has been timed to ice their leaders out of Budget 2025, and the introduction of the anti Treaty of Waitangi Regulatory Standards Bill.When Te Pāti Māori stood up to perform a historic haka in the ...3 days ago
- How to help the US Navy as it helps us: build a joint submarine facility
There’s a way for Australia to strengthen its case for the US presidential certification it will need for acquiring Virginia-class submarines. It should do so by accelerating construction of a planned shipyard in Western Australia ...3 days ago
- Why Hasn’t Nicole McKee Registered Her Firearms?
In a stunning display of hypocrisy, Associate Justice Minister Nicole McKee, who also oversees firearms policy, has admitted she hasn’t registered her own firearms on New Zealand’s Firearms Registry, despite the legal requirement for all licensed firearms owners to do so.This isn’t just a minor oversight; it’s a slap in ...3 days ago
- The Hoon around the week to May 16
The podcast above of the weekly ‘Hoon’ webinar for paying subscribers on Thursday night features co-hosts & talking about the week’s news with regular and special guests, including: on news about climate change. about the latest news from Trump and others on Gaza, Kashmir, Ukraine and much more. ...3 days ago
- Your Place
What do you do when you're in your placeWhat's going through your whirling mindI wish I could see inside of your placeIt looks like a better place than mineNumbers divineYou have to findSongwriters: Henry Binns / Sam Hardaker.Today’s newsletter is about the injustice and racism of the suspensions faced by ...3 days ago - Bernard’s Pick ‘n’ Mix & Daily Chorus for Friday, May 16
Briefly in the news from Aotearoa’s political economy around housing, climate and poverty on Friday, May 16:Auditor General John Ryan issued a scathing report yesterday into Oranga Tamariki’s abrupt and surprising cancellation and clawback last year of $60 million of funding for social services organisations, describing the agency’s (virtually nil) ...4 days ago - How A Creative Sector Dies
Art is inevitable, eternal, inexhaustible, unsuppressable. It comes from a place deep within ourselves; it comes from the spaces deep between ourselves, and it connects us like a tether. Even when it’s silly or funny or rude or violent or immature or enigmatic or conventional or bad. (Name a filmmaking ...4 days ago - Pacific island countries need support to address information manipulation
Pacific island countries are being drawn into broader foreign information manipulation and interference efforts by countries such as Russia and China, which want to shape the global narrative in their favour. These operations often aim ...4 days ago
- Skeptical Science New Research for Week #20 2025
Open access notables Institutionalizing politicized science, Moynihan & Herd, Science [editorial]: The opening months of the Trump administration represent a historic disruption to America’s scientific agencies. Staff have been fired or reassigned in the name of efficiency, resulting in chaos. Grants have been canceled mid-project for featuring the wrong words. “Pauses” ...4 days ago
- Shipbuilding to Citizenship: solving the US skills shortage with immigration
Skill-based immigration can help the United States fill its severe shortage of shipbuilding workers, for both naval and civilian construction. Bolstering the labour pool would help the US and its allies match the Chinese maritime ...4 days ago
- Craig Renney – Locked out – Budget 2025 – and the choices of the Coalition Governm...
Craig Renney will share his insights into Budget 2025, showing exactly what is going on with the government accounts, and what it might mean for the Election next year. Who are the winners and losers from the choices made by the Minister of Finance? How might different choices lead to ...4 days ago - Brownlee stands up for democracy
Yesterday, parliament's white privilege committee recommended that three Te Pāti Māori MPs be suspended for up to three weeks for opposing the racist Treaty Principles Bill with a haka. The penalty is outrageous and antidemocratic - and surprisingly, even National's Speaker agrees. At the beginning of question time today, he ...4 days ago
- How very dare you
4 days ago - Sri Lanka stalls Starlink over security and sovereignty concerns
Starlink is great for developing countries, offering connectivity without costly infrastructure. But it’s a challenge for their national security, since authorities can’t monitor the traffic it carries. This policy conflict arose in Sri Lanka in ...4 days ago
- Economic Bulletin April/May 2025
Welcome to the April/May 2025 Economic Bulletin. The Minister of Finance has made it clear Budget 2025 will bring further cuts to public investment. She has chopped the operating allowance almost in half, said most government departments will not receive any additional funding, and signalled that numerous government programmes are ...4 days ago
- The video sums things up.
Let me make this short and sweet (taken from my other social media): Seeing some of the world’s richest men shaking the blood-stained hand of Saudi Crown Prince Muhammed bin-Salman while being warmly introduced by US president Donald Trump pretty much sums up the era we live in. It was ...4 days ago
- 191 NZers now emigrating each day, including 15 babies & toddlers
The exodus of New Zealanders goes on at a rate of one A320-plane load a day, including 15 babies and toddlers on each plane, every day of the year. Photo: SuppliedBriefly in the news from Aotearoa’s political economy around housing, climate and poverty on Thursday, May 15:Statistics NZ reported yesterday ...4 days ago - The writing of Joseph S Nye Jr: highlights from The Strategist
Joseph S Nye Jr, who co-founded neoliberalism and identified the concept of soft power, died at the age of 88 on 6 May. Here are links to a selection from the 100 columns by Nye ...4 days ago
- Bernard’s Picks ‘n’ Mixes for Thursday, May 15
Briefly in the news from Aotearoa’s political economy around housing, climate and poverty on Thursday, May 15:Staffing shortages mean 60 patients in Palmerston North deemed high risk of getting bowel cancer have not been tested because of staffing shortages last year, Isaac Davison reports this morning for NZ Herald-$. See ...4 days ago - Australia must stop overlooking misogynistic youth extremism
Australia’s young people are being radicalised to violence more frequently, more quickly, and for increasingly complicated reasons—including the spread of misogynistic ideology. It’s time we better understand the relationship between misogyny and violent extremism, and ...5 days ago
- Brownlee’s Bias: Māori MPs Punished, van Velden Spared
In a Parliament that’s supposed to uphold fairness, the recent punishments meted out to Te Pāti Māori MPs for their haka protest compared to Workplace Relations Minister Brooke van Velden for her use of the C-word expose a glaring double standard. Speaker Gerry Brownlee and the Privileges Committee have once ...5 days ago
- A Four-Letter Word
To me, coming from you,Friend is a four-letter word.End is the only part of the wordThat I heard.Call me morbid or absurd.But to me, coming from you,Friend is a four-letter word.Writer: John McCrea.The dilemma.The c-word! Brooke said it, loud and clear. You know the one. We all do, even if ...5 days ago - Trading in Tomorrow for Today
See him wasted on the sidewalk in his jacket and his jeansWearin' yesterday's misfortunes like a smileOnce he had a future full of money, love, and dreamsWhich he spent like they was goin' outta styleKris Kristofferson, The Pilgrim, Chapter 33Luxon’s austerity reforms have objectively increased the country’s national debt, put ...5 days ago - How climate change is raising your electricity bill
This is a re-post from the Climate Brink by Andrew Dessler In August 2023, during an especially brutal Texas heat wave, I opened my electricity bill and was stunned by the total. As someone who studies climate change, I couldn’t help but connect the dots: global warming had made the heat wave ...5 days ago
- The Telepathy Tapes is a Trojan Horse
Hi,This week The Telepathy Tapes won “Best Indie Podcast” at the Webby Awards.“For the voiceless, thank you!” said documentary maker and creator Dickens on Instagram, surrounded by some children in Telepathy Tapes t-shirts.Ky Dickens with her hands around some children in Telepathy Tapes t-shirts.The podcast continues to grow in audience ...5 days ago - Gordon Campbell On The Mock Horror Over Political Profanity
Heavens to Betsy. Let me get this right. In her own opinion column, a female journalist (the fearsome Angela Vance) used a bad word to refer to female politicians who had just extinguished the ability of about 150,000 women to get fair pay for the work they do. The nation ...5 days ago - Outrageous and antidemocratic
That is the only way to describe the Privileges Committee's recommendation to suspend the leadership of Te Pāti Māori for 21 sitting days for their haka protest against the racist Treaty Principles Bill (the haka's leader, Hana-Rawhiti Maipi-Clarke, gets only 7 days). Outrageous because this is the harshest penalty ever ...5 days ago
- Government Blames Labour For Andrea Vance’s Article
The National-led government, flailing like a fish out of water, is now pointing fingers at Labour for Andrea Vance’s critical column in The Post. Finance Minister Nicola Willis, in a display that can only be described as unhinged, has tried to pin the blame for Vance’s blistering critique on the ...5 days ago
- AUKUS and deterrence: what, exactly, are we trying to deter?
AUKUS is one of the most ambitious allied defence undertakings in decades. But for all the high-end platforms and advanced capabilities it promises, a fundamental question remains underexplored: what, exactly, is AUKUS seeking to deter? ...5 days ago
- Editors’ pick: Australia’s security architecture must evolve, not regress
Alongside Monday’s cabinet reshuffle, Prime Minister Anthony Albanese returned responsibility for the Australian Federal Police and Australian Security Intelligence Organisation to the Home Affairs portfolio. ASPI executive director Justin Bassi outlined reasons for such a ...5 days ago
- When A Pay Cut Isn’t
5 days ago - Ministers of Finance
No, nothing so serious as fiscal policy. I saw this morning this chart in a tweet from a Canadian economics professor (prompted by the new ministerial appointments in Canada). I was digging around in the list of former New Zealand Ministers of Finance anyway, and thought it might be ...5 days ago
- Into the gloopy quicksand
Item OneHere's something my erstwhile fellow blogger Emma Hart wrote today that I've remade into a riddle:There's a bunch of jobs in this country that require tertiary qualifications and pay only just over minimum wage. What do they all have in common?Ten points and a chocolate fish to everyone who ...5 days ago - Chinese pressure is a part of Solomon Islands’ politics. Other Pacific countries should take note
The Chinese embassy in Solomon Islands has reportedly pressured newly appointed Minister of Rural Development Daniel Waneoroa to quit an international group that challenges China’s authoritarian regime. This incident highlights Beijing’s increased tendency to pressure ...5 days ago
- An alternative vision for Aotearoa
Its the budget next week, where National will inflict another round of cuts on kiwis in order to keep funding handouts to landlords and rich people. And while Labour is doing nothing (sorry, "keeping its powder dry"), the Greens are acting as the main opposition, releasing an alternative budget to ...5 days ago
- To Play the Queen of Hearts: Accepted (again!)
No, I haven’t disappeared from the internet, and I still intend to get around to finishing off that Narnia analysis. It’s just I’ve been doing what I am actually supposed to be doing. Specifically, writing original fiction – let’s just say May 2025 has been fairly productive thus far. Oh, ...5 days ago - No, Australian trade isn’t diversifying away from China
Australia’s free-trade agreements with nations other than China have delivered diversification in neither exports nor imports over the past decade, leaving Australia more tightly bound by trade to China than any other advanced nation. While ...5 days ago
- Outsourcing Operations
Well, we know where we're goin'But we don't know where we've beenAnd we know what we're knowin'But we can't say what we've seenAnd we're not little childrenAnd we know what we wantAnd the future is certainGive us time to work it outSongwriters: David Byrne / Tina Weymouth / Jerry Harrison ...5 days ago - Localising northern supply chains will strengthen national resilience
Coming off the back of a successful NT Defence Week, one thing is clearer than ever: the Northern Territory is not just remote outpost—it is an asset central to our national security, economic resilience and ...5 days ago
- Bernard’s Picks ‘n’ Mixes for Wednesday, May 14
Briefly in the news from Aotearoa’s political economy around housing, climate and poverty on Wednesday, May 14:The Government is diverting its NZ Superannuation Fund (NZSF) contribution for 2025/26 of $39 $61 million to the NZSF-managed venture capital fund Elevate. Nicola Willis says NZSF will start sending money back to the ...6 days ago - The Lai Ching-te government shifts gears
Complex developments in Taiwan’s domestic legislative politics may affect the regional security outlook over the next 12 months. Since his election in 2024, Taiwan president Lai Ching-te has upheld the disciplined foreign policy of his ...6 days ago
- Prime Minister must scrap the Regulatory Standards Bill
The Green Party is urging the Prime Minister to get rid of the Regulatory Standards Bill after the Waitangi Tribunal found that the Bill breaches the Crown’s Tiriti o Waitangi obligations. ...6 hours ago - Release: Women in funded sector unlikely to get pay equity
The Government is unlikely to fund pay equity for hospice and Plunket nurses, care and support workers and other workforces made up of mostly women. ...8 hours ago - Chris Hipkins Speech Auckland regional conference
Tēnā koutou katoa. It’s fantastic to be here with you all—grassroots campaigners, organisers, union members, councillors, MPs, and Labour whānau. ...2 days ago
- Release: Minister’s rash orders fail frontline providers
The Auditor-General has found serious failings in the Government’s review of frontline providers such as counselling and prevention services. ...3 days ago
- Release: Prices keep rising while National cuts women’s pay
Prices for essentials, like milk, butter and electricity continue to get more expensive under National, at the same time as the Government takes money from women’s pockets to save their budget. ...3 days ago
- Te Pāti Māori Condemns Fast-Track Approval of Seabed Mining
Te Pāti Māori is gravely concerned by the Government’s approval of the Trans-Tasman Resources (Taranaki VTM) seabed mining project under its fast-track regime. This marks the first time a commercial shallow seabed mining operation has been approved anywhere in the world- pushed through with no transparency, no public input, and ...3 days ago
- Social Security Amendment Bill pushes poverty on people
The Government’s just-passed Social Security Amendment Bill is set to create more benefit sanctions that will push families deeper into poverty. ...4 days ago
- Report exposes damage of rushed cuts to Oranga Tamariki
Today’s report into last year’s Oranga Tamariki contract procurement process confirms the Government’s brutal cuts were rushed, poorly managed, and made with no concern for the impact on tamariki. ...4 days ago
- 210,000 Māori Silenced: Committee Delivers Harshest Punishment in Parliament History
Today the Privileges Committee handed down a severe punishment. Te Pāti Māori Co-leaders Rawiri Waititi and Debbie Ngarewa-Packer have been suspended for 21 days, and MP for Hauraki-Waikato Hana-Rawhiti Maipi-Clarke has been suspended for 7 days. ...4 days ago
- Release: Govt finally admits 180,000 in line for a pay cut
The Government finally admitted late last night that roughly 180,000 people will be affected by its decision to halt pay equity claims. ...5 days ago
- Release: Admin nearly a quarter of entire FamilyBoost spend
Nearly a quarter of the money spent on the Government’s flagship FamilyBoost policy has gone to administration, not to families to help with childcare. ...5 days ago
- Green Budget for a country worth fighting for
The Green Budget shows how much better our lives could be under a Green Government, instead of one dominated by corporate greed. ...5 days ago
- Green Budget: Early Childhood Education for Everyone
The Green Party has unveiled its new plan to make Early Childhood Education (ECE) free. ...5 days ago
- Green Budget delivers for Māori
The Green Party is delivering for Māori with its Green Budget. ...5 days ago
- Green Budget: Free GPs for all
The Green Party has launched its plan for Free GPs as part of its Green Budget. ...5 days ago
- Chris Hipkins: Pre-Budget speech
Tēnā koutou katoa. Good morning. I read recently that one of the keys to success in life is to do the hard stuff first thing in the morning. ...6 days ago
- Release; Budget should not be paid for by working women
The Government must do three things in Budget 2025 if it is genuinely going to turn things around for New Zealanders. ...6 days ago
- Release: Peeni Henare takes over foreign affairs
Labour’s Peeni Henare will pick up the foreign affairs portfolio, following David Parker’s departure from Parliament. ...1 week ago
- Release: Govt better at crushing women’s rights than cars
Rehashing old laws around boy racers is not going to make our communities safer, or distract New Zealanders from the appalling decision to cut women’s pay. ...1 week ago
- No Justice for State Abuse Survivors- Kapa-Kingi
Te Pāti Māori MP for Te Tai Tokerau calls out the government’s decision to keep funding state abuse, turning their backs on justice and real change for abuse in care survivors. “The government has committed to throwing $744 million down the drain, reinforcing a violent regime of disrespect against the ...1 week ago
- Govt’s War on Te Tiriti Continues as Review of Treaty Act Announced
Te Pāti Māori is absolutely disgusted by the Government’s announcement to review the Waitangi Tribunal- a deliberate and dangerous escalation in its ongoing campaign to undermine Te Tiriti o Waitangi and silence tangata whenua. “The Government’s onslaught against Te Tiriti continues with this latest move to review the Treaty of ...1 week ago
- Tribunal review an attack on Te Tiriti o Waitangi
The Government’s plans to limit the powers and scope of the Waitangi Tribunal is a disgrace. ...1 week ago
- Tribunal review an attack on Te Tiriti o Waitangi
The Government’s plans to limit the powers and scope of the Waitangi Tribunal is a disgrace. ...1 week ago
- Release: Labour asks why Govt is silent on Gaza
Labour is asking the Government why it is silent on Israel’s deliberate use of starvation as a weapon of war in Gaza, saying New Zealand should be speaking out. ...1 week ago
- Release: Govt ignores the voices of survivors
Survivors of abuse in state care have a right to feel disappointed and sidelined by the Government. ...1 week ago
- Redress announcement leaves little justice for survivors
The Green Party is appalled by the Government’s decision to severely underfund financial compensation for survivors of abuse in state care. ...1 week ago
- Release: Bill launched to stop tobacco industry lobbying
Labour is launching a members’ bill to stop the Government from putting tobacco industry interests ahead of public health. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Labour fights for firefighters
The Labour Party backs volunteer firefighters who are currently not covered by ACC for workplace disease and mental injury and is drafting policy to put this right when the party wins the election in 2026. ...2 weeks ago
- Wildlife law change a deep betrayal of public trust
The Green Party is appalled by the Government’s use of urgency to rewrite the Wildlife Act–without consultation, without an impact statement, and in direct response to a court ruling in favour of protecting wildlife. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: National cuts women’s pay
National has forced through a law change that will take money out of women’s pockets. ...2 weeks ago
- ‘Govt’s Pay Bill Entrenches Discrimination Against Women’ – Kemp
Te Pāti Māori stands in staunch and emotional opposition to the Government’s so-called Equal Pay Amendment Bill, calling it a calculated attack on working women and a cruel betrayal of the generations who have fought for pay equity in Aotearoa. “This bill doesn’t just undermine equal pay — it completely ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Fewer jobs and opportunities for Māori, again
In the last 12 months life has only got worse for Māori under Christopher Luxon’s Government. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: More than one in 10 Pacific people unemployed under National
There are more Pacific people unemployed as the rate increases to a staggering 10.8% under National. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Unemployment remains high under National
Job losses remain stubbornly high under National, as their attack on jobs, wages, and women rages on. ...2 weeks ago
- Govt for the rich is failing the unemployed
The latest job market statistics show that unemployed people are being failed by a Government more focused on punishing the poor than creating jobs. ...2 weeks ago
- RSE Draft Erases Rainbow and Takatāpui Youth
Te Pāti Māori is demanding urgent changes to the draft Relationships and Sexuality Education (RSE) framework, calling it a dangerous step backwards for Takatāpui, trans, and rainbow rangatahi. “This draft erases Takatāpui voices, ignores whānau diversity, and delays consent education. It’s not just inadequate, it’s unbelievably unsafe” said Te Pāti ...2 weeks ago
- RSE Draft Erases Rainbow and Takatāpui Youth
Te Pāti Māori is demanding urgent changes to the draft Relationships and Sexuality Education (RSE) framework, calling it a dangerous step backwards for Takatāpui, trans, and rainbow rangatahi. “This draft erases Takatāpui voices, ignores whānau diversity, and delays consent education. It’s not just inadequate, it’s unbelievably unsafe” said Te Pāti ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Labour welcomes inquiry into school lunches
Labour welcomes the Auditor-General’s inquiry into the Government’s school lunches programme. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Women will keep being paid less under National
This Government is taking the women’s movement backwards, ensuring women will continue to be paid less into the future. ...2 weeks ago
- Govt takes workplace equity efforts backwards
The Green Party has called out the Government’s latest attack on workers with the announcement that it is halting all pay equity claims. ...2 weeks ago
- Stepping up in a changing global environment
Good evening. Thank you to the New Zealand Institute of International Affairs for organising this event, and for your efforts to foster New Zealand’s understanding of international affairs. I am grateful for the opportunity to speak here today. As keen observers and practitioners of international relations, you will all ...2 weeks ago - New High Commissioner to Kiribati announced
Foreign Minister Winston Peters has announced Pati Gagau as New Zealand’s next High Commissioner to Kiribati. “Our diplomats play a critical role in advancing New Zealand’s interests overseas,” Mr Peters says. “Nowhere is this truer than in the Pacific, where we strive to work with our Pacific partners to forge a more ...2 weeks ago
- Changes to improve pay equity process
The Government is amending the Equal Pay Act [the Act] to make the process of raising and resolving pay equity claims more robust, workable and sustainable, Workplace Relations and Safety Minister Brooke van Velden announced today. Pay equity is achieved when women and men are paid the same for work ...2 weeks ago
- Proposals to strengthen biodiversity released
Toitū te taiao – Our environment endures The Government is consulting on proposals to better protect our precious biodiversity and its economic benefits for future generations, Conservation Minister Tama Potaka says. “Today, the Department of Conservation – Te Papa Atawhai is releasing two discussion documents for public consultation, and I ...2 weeks ago
- Trade negotiations with India commence
Following significant engagement over the last month, the first in-person round of negotiations towards a comprehensive India New Zealand Free Trade Agreement (FTA) will take place in India this week. This follows the highly successful visit to India last year by Deputy Prime Minister, Winston Peters and the formal launch ...2 weeks ago
- NZ-EU trade deal delivers export growth
The early entry into force of the New Zealand–European Union Trade Agreement (FTA) is paying off, with Kiwi goods exports to the EU surging by 28 per cent during the first year. “In the last 12 months our goods exports to the EU surged from $3.8 billion to over $4.8 ...2 weeks ago
- Celebrating New Zealand Sign Language
Now is the time for Kiwis to give New Zealand Sign Language a go as we take a week to celebrate the language, Disability Issues Minister Louise Upston says. This week is New Zealand Sign Language (NZSL) week. The theme is that “anyone can sign anywhere”. “NZSL is an official ...2 weeks ago
- Boosting high-tech exports with advanced technology
New investment in advanced technology research will boost high-tech exports, strengthen connections between research and industry and generate high value jobs, Science, Innovation and Technology Minister Dr Shane Reti announced today. “Advanced technology research leads to life-changing innovation,” says Dr Reti. “The breakthroughs that can be achieved through areas like ...2 weeks ago
- Post-Cabinet Press Conference: Monday 5 May 2025
POST-CABINET PRESS CONFERENCE: Monday, 5 May 2025 EPIQ TRANSCRIPT PM: Well, look, good afternoon, everyone. It’s great to be joined this afternoon by our awesome Trade Minister, Todd McClay, who’s doing some incredible work. As you know, it’s a big sitting block with the Budget at the end of ...2 weeks ago
- Parent Portal launched to empower parents
Every parent wants to see their child thrive at school — to feel confident, supported, and capable. Today, the Government is taking a major step toward making that aspiration a reality with the launch of a new Parent Portal: an online resource designed to enable families to play their part ...2 weeks ago
- New helicopters a commitment to global security
The Defence Force’s ageing maritime helicopters will be replaced to increase the defensive and offensive capability and surveillance range of New Zealand’s frigates, Defence Minister Judith Collins announced today. “The replacement of the Seasprite helicopters will also extend the Navy’s ability to support non-combat tasks such as humanitarian assistance and ...2 weeks ago
- Prime Minister congratulates Albanese and Wong
Prime Minister Christopher Luxon has congratulated Anthony Albanese on winning the Australian Federal Election, and Lawrence Wong on winning the Singaporean election. “I have been in touch with both Mr Albanese and Mr Wong to offer my congratulations on retaining office,” Mr Luxon says. “When we spoke, Mr Albanese and ...2 weeks ago
- Hunting and Fishing Minister joins game bird season opening hunt
Hunting and Fishing Minister James Meager has joined the thousands of New Zealanders taking part in the annual game bird hunting season opening. He spent the morning at Te Nohoaka o Tukiauau / Sinclair Wetlands, a 315-hectare portion of the Lakes Waihola-Waipori wetland south of Dunedin, hosted by Fish & ...2 weeks ago
- Attendance dashboard shows early insights into term 2
Associate Education Minister David Seymour says that new up-to-date attendance data is helping provide fresh insights into student attendance. For example, data for the first week of term 2 shows the effect of wild weather and which regions were standouts. The average attendance across week 1 is 87.1 per cent. ...2 weeks ago
- New air ambulance helicopter for Auckland and Northland
A new air ambulance helicopter commissioned today will significantly enhance emergency medical response capabilities across Auckland and Northland, Associate Health Minister Hon Casey Costello and ACC Minister Scott Simpson announced today. “This state-of-the-art helicopter represents a major advancement in aeromedical service delivery, and we are pleased to see it become ...2 weeks ago
- Oranga Tamariki showing clear progress on key performance targets
Public reporting on key performance indicators for Oranga Tamariki show the Ministry is making strong progress on its most important goals. In its second public reporting on key performance indicators, Oranga Tamariki has made progress across all four key priority areas emphasised by Minister for Children, Karen Chhour. “In 2024, ...2 weeks ago
- New Member appointed to Waitangi Tribunal
Māori Development Minister Tama Potaka today confirmed the appointment of Gerrard Albert of Whanganui, Ngā Paerangi, to the Waitangi Tribunal for a three-year term to fill a vacancy. Mr. Albert is the former Chair of Ngā Tāngata Tiaki o Whanganui, the post-settlement governance body for Te Awa Tupua. He has ...2 weeks ago
- Raising achievement & closing the equity gap at school
The Government is continuing to raise achievement and close the equity gap in schools across the country, so all Kiwi kids have the knowledge, skills and competencies they need to reach their full potential, Education Minister Erica Stanford says. The Governments’ ambitious changes reflect the responsibility we have to these ...2 weeks ago
- Developing a new Action Plan for unpaid carers
The Government is taking action to better support unpaid and informal carers, Associate Minister for Social Development and Employment Penny Simmonds says. Every morning across New Zealand, unpaid carers are helping loved ones get ready for the day — preparing meals, arranging medication, assisting with transport, and offering vital support, ...2 weeks ago
- Deputy PM concludes constructive visit to New Caledonia
Deputy Prime Minister and Foreign Minister Winston Peters has concluded a constructive and positive visit to New Caledonia - New Zealand’s closest geographical neighbour. Mr Peters met the French Minister for Overseas Territories, Manuel Valls, and the President of the Government of New Caledonia, Alcide Ponga. “We came to listen and ...2 weeks ago
- Third procedure room to expand endoscopy capacity in Hawke’s Bay
Endoscopy services at Hawke’s Bay Fallen Soldiers’ Memorial Hospital are set to expand, with the addition of a third procedure room, Health Minister Simeon Brown announced today. “Improving New Zealand’s health infrastructure is a top priority for the Government, to ensure all Kiwis can access timely, high-quality healthcare,” Mr Brown says. ...2 weeks ago
- Government remains on track to ban full Farm-to-Forest conversions
Agriculture and Forestry Minister Todd McClay has confirmed that restrictions on full farm-to-forest conversions on LUC 1-6 farmland will be in place this year, and reaffirmed that they will take effect from 4 December 2024 - the date of the original announcement. Enabling legislation will be introduced to Parliament during ...2 weeks ago
- Youth Parliament 2025 participants announced
The 123 Youth Members of Parliament and 20 Youth Press Gallery members officially announced for 2025 represent the best of New Zealand, Youth Minister James Meager says. “Our Youth MPs come from a wide range of backgrounds, and each have their own unique story, bringing diverse points of view to ...3 weeks ago
- Saudi Ministerial visit sends strong signal for NZ Trade and Investment growth
Trade, Investment and Agriculture Minister Todd McClay has wrapped up a successful programme hosting Saudi Arabia’s Minister of Environment, Water and Agriculture, His Excellency Eng Abdulrahman A. AlFadley, in Auckland this week for the 9th New Zealand–Saudi Arabia Joint Ministerial Commission. “This visit builds on growing momentum in our trade ...3 weeks ago
- New data highlights progress in childhood immunisation rates
New data released today shows steady improvements in childhood immunisation rates across the country, highlighting the Government’s commitment to ensuring every child gets the best start in life, Health Minister Simeon Brown says. “Improving childhood immunisation rates is a priority for our Government. The latest quarterly figures show immunisation coverage ...3 weeks ago
- Better banking competition one step closer for Kiwis
The Government is moving swiftly to ensure Kiwis will be able to benefit from open banking by Christmas this year, says Commerce and Consumer Affairs Minister Scott Simpson. “Recently our Government passed the Customer and Product Data Act – one of the items in our Quarter 1 Action Plan to ...3 weeks ago
- Rural Health Roadshow coming to Wairoa
Associate Health Minister with responsibility for Rural Health and Minister for Mental Health Matt Doocey is pleased to be in Wairoa today as part of the Rural Health Roadshow across the country. “I was pleased to begin the roadshow in Levin recently where I had the opportunity to hear from ...3 weeks ago
- Advancing Antarctic research on climate change impacts
The Government is investing in Antarctic research to better understand changes on the icy continent and how they could affect New Zealand, Science, Innovation and Technology Minister Dr Shane Reti announced today. “What happens in Antarctica matters to us here in New Zealand,” Dr Reti says. “For example, as Antarctic ...3 weeks ago
- New tools to help women navigate online harm
A new toolkit to support women and their employers address online harm has been launched by Minister for Women, Nicola Grigg, at the Local Government New Zealand conference today. “The prevalence of online harm has become a serious issue, disproportionately impacting women who are in the public eye. The growing ...3 weeks ago
- Climate scientists are trusted globally, just not as much as other scientists – here’s why
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Omid Ghasemi, Research Associate in Behavioural Science at the Institute for Climate Risk & Response, UNSW Sydney I. Noyan Yilmaz, Shutterstock Societies increasingly rely on scientists to guide decisions in times of uncertainty, from pandemic outbreaks to the rise of artificial ...1 hour ago - Joe Biden has advanced prostate cancer with a Gleason score of 9. What does this mean?
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Sarah Diepstraten, Senior Research Officer, Blood Cells and Blood Cancer Division, WEHI (Walter and Eliza Hall Institute of Medical Research) Former US President Joe Biden has been diagnosed with an aggressive form of prostate cancer that has already spread to his bones. ...2 hours ago
- Open letter from John Cusack: ‘The children of Gaza need your outrage – end the siege’
Pacific Media Watch American film star celebrity John Cusack, who describes himself on his x-page bio as an “apocalyptic shit-disturber”, has posted an open letter to the world denouncing the Israeli “mass murder” in Gaza and calling for “your outrage”. While warning the public to “don’t stop talking about Palestine/Gaza”, ...2 hours ago
- NZ wildlife and construction projects at centre of urgent Wildlife Act changes
The Act has been branded the 'Kiwi Killing Bill' by Greenpeace, but the conservation minister says it still protects wildlife while also supporting the economy. ...2 hours ago - PM on haka punishment: ‘If they want to muck around, so be it’
Prime Minister Christopher Luxon has flatly rejected the possibility of watering down the proposed punishment for three Te Pāti Māori MPs. ...2 hours ago
- Russia is labelling Oscar Jenkins a ‘mercenary’, not a prisoner of war. What’s the difference ...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Shannon Bosch, Associate Professor (Law), Edith Cowan University Oscar Jenkins, a 33-year-old former teacher from Melbourne, was one of many foreigners who responded to Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky’s call in 2022 for volunteers to join Ukraine’s armed forces to help repel Russia’s ...2 hours ago
- The re-emergence of polio in Papua New Guinea shows global eradication remains elusive
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Michael Toole, Associate Principal Research Fellow, Burnet Institute Last week the World Health Organisation (WHO) declared a polio outbreak in Papua New Guinea (PNG). The highly infectious virus was found in two healthy, polio-vaccinated children who were screened following detection of ...3 hours ago
- Politics, protest and some seriously inappropriate songs: who gets censored at Eurovision, and who d...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Catherine Strong, Associate Professor, Music Industry, RMIT University As always, Eurovision 2025 was full of glitter, costume reveals, divas, spectacle and, of course, controversy. From ongoing calls to ban Israel from participating, to one song that had to be edited since it ...3 hours ago
- Regulatory Standards Bill to be introduced to House
The Bill would introduce law-making principles that legislation would need to be measured against. ...3 hours ago
- Competing Otago Port proposals ‘frustrating’, says Associate Regional Development Minist...
A proposed inland port at Mosgiel last week received $8m in government funding and left Clutha's mayor frustrated. ...4 hours ago
- An online travel company just collapsed. Here’s how to avoid being left stranded by an online deal
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Madalyn Scerri, Senior Lecturer in Tourism and Hospitality, Torrens University Australia Viacheslav Lopatin/Shutterstock Traveldream.com.au sold discounted holidays – curated hiking tours, boutique cruises and cultural getaways through a slick website and polished social media ads. But news emerged last week that ...5 hours ago
- The Governor General is deep in the DNA of Parliament
Former Governor General Sir Anand Satyanand talks about the role's relationship with Parliament and the Executive, and its use as a guard-rail for democracy. ...5 hours ago
- Why it’s time to delay tackling in junior sports until the age of 12
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Joel Garrett, Lecturer in Exercise Science and Physiology, Griffith University Paolo Bona/Shutterstock Many children across Australia have begun to play their favourite contact sports like rugby league, rugby union and Australian rules football. Many will be just starting out during ...5 hours ago
- Ambition is not a dirty word: female politicians and the ‘Lady Macbeth bias’
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Professor Rebekah Russell-Bennett, Associate Dean Research, Faculty of Business, Government and Law, University of Canberra When the new parliament convenes after the recent election, it will feature a rarity in Australian politics. Women will lead two significant political parties at the same ...5 hours ago
- Luxon and Willis hold post-Cabinet media conference ahead of Budget
The government is proposing tax changes it says will bring in more foreign investment. ...5 hours ago
- Labour asks Auditor General to consider cost burden in school lunches probe
Labour has requested an inquiry by the Auditor General into the school lunch programme to go even further. ...5 hours ago
- Everything we learned from the Jacinda Ardern movie trailer
There will be tears, there will be imposter syndrome, there will be a Clarke Gayford cinematographer credit. In January, reviews began pouring out of the festival circuit for Prime Minister, the feature length documentary following Jacinda Ardern over a period of seven years. Co-directed by New Zealand-based Michelle Walshe and ...6 hours ago - ER Report: A Roundup of Significant Articles on EveningReport.nz for May 19, 2025
ER Report: Here is a summary of significant articles published on EveningReport.nz on May 19, 2025. What does it mean to ‘accept’ or ‘reject’ all cookies, and which should I choose?Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Ahmed Ibrahim, Senior Lecturer, Computing and Security, Edith Cowan University Shutterstock/The Conversation ...6 hours ago
- What does it mean to ‘accept’ or ‘reject’ all cookies, and which should I choose?
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Ahmed Ibrahim, Senior Lecturer, Computing and Security, Edith Cowan University Shutterstock/The Conversation It’s nearly impossible to use the internet without being asked about cookies. A typical pop-up will offer to either “accept all” or “reject all”. Sometimes, there may be a ...7 hours ago
- What causes ADHD? What we know, don’t know and suspect
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Alison Poulton, Senior Lecturer, Brain Mind Centre Nepean, University of Sydney Sergey Novikov/Shutterstock Neurodevelopmental disorders are a diverse group of conditions that affect the brain from early development. They include attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), autism and learning disabilities, such as dyslexia. ...7 hours ago
- Banks To Kiwis: Heads We Win, Tails You Lose
Figures for the 2024 fiscal year show that bank profits have reached an all-time high. At the same time, despite lower interest rates, more and more customers of the big four Australian banks (BNZ, ANZ, ASB and Westpac) are overdue in their mortgage ...7 hours ago - Banks To Kiwis: Heads We Win, Tails You Lose
Figures for the 2024 fiscal year show that bank profits have reached an all-time high. At the same time, despite lower interest rates, more and more customers of the big four Australian banks (BNZ, ANZ, ASB and Westpac) are overdue in their mortgage ...7 hours ago
- Pacific children as young as 6 adopted, made to work as house slaves
By Gill Bonnett, RNZ immigration reporter This story discusses graphic details of slavery, sexual abuse and violence Pacific children as young as six are being adopted overseas and being made to work as house slaves, suffering threats, beatings and rape. Kris Teikamata — a social worker at a community agency ...7 hours ago
- Australia launches ‘landmark’ UN police peacekeeping course for Pacific region
Australia has launched the world’s first UN Police Peacekeeping Training course tailored specifically for the Pacific region. The five-week programme, hosted by the Australian Federal Police (AFP), is underway at the state-of-the-art Pacific Policing Development and Coordination Hub in Pinkenba, Brisbane. AFP said “a landmark step” was developed in partnership ...8 hours ago
- Former NZ Associate Minister Of Foreign Affairs Calls On NZ Government To Uphold International Law
“The Hon Winston Peters should place New Zealand on the side of the vast majority of countries supporting international law and condemn the United States for its illegal persecution of a developing country.” ...8 hours ago
- Haus of Yolo successfully struts its stuff in new suburban space
The new circus show from The Dust Palace isn’t just a fun night out, it’s an introduction to an exciting new space in Tāmaki Makaurau, writes Sam Brooks. As a resident of the very centre of Auckland’s central business district, I often forget that there are spaces beyond the view ...9 hours ago
- Budget 2025: What’s been announced so far
Struggling to keep up with all the "pre-Budget" news? We've got you covered. ...9 hours ago
- What’s in a name: Does it matter whether it’s chicken kyiv or kiev?
Poultry brands in New Zealand are changing their spelling from chicken kiev to chicken kyiv. Ukrainians say the update of two little letters matters a lot. There’s a scene in the 1973 neo-noir film The Long Goodbye, based on the Raymond Chandler novel of the same name, where a man ...10 hours ago
- ‘We have to have rules’: Christopher Luxon won’t say if Te Pāti Māori’s pu...
Meanwhile, legal experts are worried about the precedent the decision could set. ...12 hours ago
- Budget Week Blow – Govt Axes Experts Backing Innovative Kiwi Start-Ups
This Friday, 15 highly skilled business innovation advisers at Callaghan Innovation will be shown the door. These are industry experts hired from the private sector who’ve been helping young companies navigate the commercial world and prepare them ...12 hours ago
- Oranga Tamariki security contract unfair – New Zealand Security Association
Oranga Tamariki is facing complaints from local businesses it is not playing fair over a new security contract for youth justice facilities and care and protection homes. ...12 hours ago
- What kind of economy produces the highest adolescent suicide rate? Ours
New Zealand places alarmingly low for child and youth mental health among other wealthy countries, according to a new Unicef report. This reflects political choices – and this week’s budget is a chance to prioritise what really matters. The latest Unicef Innocenti Report Card 19: Fragile Gains – Child Wellbeing ...12 hours ago
- Budget 2025: New funding for after-hours care ‘not going to go very far’ – GP and ...
General practice doctors are grateful the government is providing new funding but says its "reasonably light". ...12 hours ago
- Budget 2025: How does government spending actually work?
There will be a lot of talk about government spending this week, but how does it actually work? Where does the money come from, and where does it go? ...12 hours ago
- AI is moving fast. Climate policy provides valuable lessons for how to keep it in check
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Milica Stilinovic, PhD Candidate, School of Media and Communications; Managing Editor, Policy & Internet journal, University of Sydney cybermagician/Shutterstock Artificial intelligence (AI) might not have been created to enable new forms of sexual violence such as deepfake pornography. But that has ...13 hours ago
- 1 in 5 Gazans face starvation. Can the law force Israel to act?
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Donald Rothwell, Professor of International Law, Australian National University As Israel continues to pound Gaza with airstrikes, killing scores of people a day, the two-month ceasefire that brought a halt to the violence earlier this year feels like a distant memory. ...13 hours ago
- More people are trying medicinal cannabis for chronic pain. But does it work?
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Suzanne Nielsen, Professor and Deputy Director, Monash Addiction Research Centre, Monash University PeopleImages.com – Yuri A/Shutterstock More Australians than ever are being prescribed medicinal cannabis. Medicinal cannabis refers to legally prescribed cannabis products. These are either the plant itself, or ...13 hours ago
- Why is southern Australia in drought – and when will it end?
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Chiara Holgate, Senior Research Fellow, ARC Centre of Excellence for Weather of the 21st Century, Australian National University Artic_photo/Shutterstock Swathes of South Australia, Victoria, Tasmania and Western Australia are in the grip of drought as they experience some of the lowest ...13 hours ago
- Wine is still Australia’s most popular alcoholic drink – but many producers face an uncertain fu...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Paul Chad, Honorary Fellow, Faculty of Business and Law, School of Business, University of Wollongong kwest/Shutterstock Australia has become world-famous for its wine, but the industry faces an uncertain future. Too many grapes grown amid falling consumer demand, an oversupply of ...13 hours ago
- Something borrowed, something blue? Why the reign of the traditional wedding dress may be over
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Jye Marshall, Lecturer, Fashion Design, School of Design and Architecture, Swinburne University of Technology Wedding Rebellion Workshop, London Ellie Cooper/unsplash The family and friends are all gathered, wedding bells are ringing, and the bride walks down the aisle in her beautiful ...13 hours ago
Oh, it’s the Pieman. Probably his next job. Simple enough.
i sure hope this little muffin isn’t gay
cos i don’t really like gay little muffins
Its the mad Dr Fenklestein getting his reading from a fortune cookie…and that isn’t a smile hes wearing ,… its the all pervading sense of nausea and impending doom from the ‘fortune’ hes been delivered that’s forming a grimace on his face…
“My presence here is a good news story that has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH THE LEAK INQUIRY, LEAK! LEAK! LEAK! and I sure hope you guys focus on my visit to this wonderful business AND NOT THE LEAKS COMING FROM MY CAUCUS LIKE A DEPTH-CHARGING SCENE IN DAS BOOT! YES THERE’S BEEN A LEAK ABOUT THE LEAK INQUIRY BUT THIS IS SMALL NEWS, STOP TALKING ABOUT THE LEAKS, YOU BASTARDS!!! These goods are precisely baked WHEREAS ALL THE LEAKS ARE HALF-BAKED and they all look really yummy. Have I distracted you from the LEAKS? Travel expenses for this visit came out of my parliamentary services budget AND WILL PROBABLY BE LEAKED”
“They did say this incontinence outfit would catch all leaks…”
Simple Simon meet a pie man, but unfortunately that didn’t save him….
” Oh for fucks sake Simon, I said TIN FOIL, get a tin foil hat .”
Do you know the leakin’ man? The leakin’ man, the leakin’ man.
Do you know the leakin’ man who works in parliament?
Yes, I know the leakin’ man. The leakin’ man, the leakin’ man.
Oh, yes, I know the leakin’ man, who works in parliament.
Then two of us know the leakin’ man, the leakin’ man.
…
“I maybe a bit of a downer as a party leader and look silly in this hat, but at least I know what a GDP is”
Yes and when questioned, Soimon replied, ‘ Why of course I know what it is.. it stands for ‘ Gross Departmental Purge ‘…
Great response Wild
I’m going to feed this cookie to my dog, Judith.
Meanwhile , as Simon generously places the muffin into the dog bowl, he carelessly forgets that it was Judith who was his mentor,… and the adage ‘ don’t bite the hand that feeds you’….
“And I’ll be happy to see those nice young men
In their clean white coats
And they’re coming to take me away ha-haaa……………”
If you don’t like my obsolete ideology, I’ve got muffins
” Which I’ll sell to you at market prices and screw all those kids living in poverty and going to school without lunches ”.
Young man wastes his life by joining a Tory death cult
… And yet while being attracted to the sense of camaraderie and elitist company , found that the colour of the Black Sun was not particularly to his liking , nor was spending long nights at 3am performing strange rituals in drafty castles in Bavaria… and the gnawing sense that back home,… he was being perused for his travel expenses…
Bridges widens his search for the leaker even further to find out who ate all the pies
There is a nasty Leaker round the corner and I am dressed up to protect myself from her.
….’ However, as Soimon was soon to find out,… that his choice of cotton based clothing instead of wet weather gear was no defense against the onslaught of leaked material that was soon to assault him ”…
Gee I wonder if having a bun in the oven could get me elected.
Yes, we ate pies. My friends and I, the boys and girls. Yes, we ate pies. I liked pies. Still like pies. We ate pies,
This is embarassing
Simon’s DNA successfully synthesised into a single sourdough cookie.
New headgear for National party supporters. The amount of times they have to wash themselves to relieve guilt means permanent shower caps!
…’ and many nightcaps ” do you know who I am ? ” ….
Homer Simpson’s first day at the nuclear cookie factory.
National unveils thousands of new voters who all think and look exactly the same.
…’ And yet , in true industrial cunning ,…while doing that , – also introduces a new line of production and labels it the ‘Blue Dragon’ muffin to capture the foreign markets ‘….
Contamination of food items by fecal matter believed to be from the feces of a male bull at NZ factory still a mystery.
Meanwhile, this picture was leaked from National that was taken in the factory premises on the same day as the fecal matter contamination occurred.
Simon Bridges launches the new line of National Party Muffins
a delicious BLUE berry muffin
watch out for the upcoming launch of its range of soups, including Leak Soup
🙂
Leak soup aint half bad- and certainly cleans out the system quite nicely…
Bridges says
Question: “What does this high bran muffin and me have in common?”
Answer: “We both irritate the shit out of you”
Man forms special bond with pie
….
If I thought jami lees problems were embarrassing, how embarrassing am I
………
Simon shouts the National caucus lunch but no one turns up…..
Gee I have to admit I feel a bit mean writing this
Pies and muffins…. hmmm…
Mick the Master Farter – YouTube
If you give a Gnat a meat pie
He will want tomato sauce on it
And that and gravy leaks
will mean he needs to take a bath.
If you lend him your rubber duck
he’ll get homesick
and if he finds your tap shoes
while he’s going through your cupboards
he’ll want to dance like with the stars
cos that’s how Gnat careers progress
through tragedy to farce.
(apologies to Laura Numeroff )
Getting muffins for mike hoskings, he done a,couple of bad items on me this week, and now he has gone and done two good ones on labour we have to get him back
like John a cup of tea right place in the works woners
Simon’s solution for dissenting MPs and voters from the left after he had an epiphany watching Soylent Green on his mobile.
That guy has the condom on the wrong head.
Simon going through the process of being assessed at his application interview for his suitability of a new job.
He was asked to state what the item is he is holding in his hand. He failed!
“I am a ninety trial baking pies as I know in my other job I am toast”
The caucus told me not to think out loud or put my foot in it.
And then said if I wore these I could eat the last cookie.
Simon demonstrates new mini contraceptive device, and looks forward to his cookie reward.
“What have I become?”
Take for instance, Gareth Morgan and ‘is pie shop
Business never better, using only pussycats and toast
And a pussy’s good for maybe six or seven at the most.
Poppin’ pussies into pies! Wouldn’t do in my shop!
Just the thought of it’s enough to make you sick!
And I’m telling you them pussycats is quick.
No denying times is hard.
“My Kingdom for a muffin….and a leaker”
Yes i will grin …only because it worked for our lord and saviour John.