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Caption contest

Written By: - Date published: 12:59 pm, December 15th, 2019 - 43 comments
Categories: caption contest, humour, The Standard - Tags:

Keep it seemly.

43 comments on “Caption contest ”

  1. CapnInsano 1

    Two prats in a pod.

  2. Sabine 2

    pot kettle something?

  3. Fireblade 3

    Simon Bridges plays pocket billiards during his meeting with Boris Johnson.

  4. mac1 4

    Two men standing alone together.

  5. observer 5

    "I won because the leader of the opposition was so unpopular."

    "Thanks."

  6. Incognito 6

    Another beltaway issue by two politicians who are thankfully out of touch.

  7. Incognito 7

    Is that your hand in my pocket?

    Are you scratching my back?

  8. Incognito 8

    If I had eyes in the back of my head I could read my mind.

  9. James 9

    Two men laughing how the left “just don’t get it”.

  10. mac1 10

    "You can smile about a Tory victory, but I have no clue what to do…… And, you ask why do I stand with my hands behind my back, well in the next five years that's where the main opposition attacks from."

  11. Incognito 11

    Sunlight is the best disinfectant and two bugs escaped into the shadows.

  12. mac1 12

    "That McCahon painting…. is it 1 A.M. or I AM?"

    "Don't know. Muldoon had the same problem."

  13. Stuart Munro. 13

    "So, about that safe seat – still a million euros?"

    "Pounds you antipodean pondscum, pounds".

    "Damn it, I've only got yuan."

  14. mickysavage 14

    Luke I am your father …

  15. greywarshark 15

    Perky New Zealander pushing upwards on the make. World-weary, cynical UK toff considering Mike Hosking's head and deciding it's a hairdon't.

  16. rod 16

    Dickhead and Head Dick

  17. bwaghorn 17

    Have faith Simon I've proven you can be a lying buffoon and still get elected.

  18. Anker 18

    Even Boris thinks Simons a tosser

  19. Jackel 19

    Two men called Lend and Hope. Otherwise known as, artificially created demand since at least the 1980s and the global economy is still on life support and starting to convulse again.

    The tories started it all, let them finish it.

  20. SPC 20

    When they were young one learnt to keep his pocket money safe and the other went to a school with a fagging tradition.

  21. paddler 21

    winner and soon to be winner

  22. joe90 22

    Toffish twit offers moral support as newby Bullington boy prepares for first soggy biscuit challenge.

  23. mac1 23

    Dress fails for the fastidious man about town #1

    Wearing a tie at an incorrect length. Ideally, the tip of your tie should end in the middle of your belt buckle or waistband.

    Dress fails #2

    Conventional wisdom states that you always button your suit jacket. When in doubt, you should always fasten your suit jacket, except when seated.

    Dress fails #3.

    Suit coat pocket flaps are never worn part in, part out.

    • greywarshark 23.1

      Dress fails #4. – Don't put your hands in trouser or jacket pockets, it makes them sag and out-of-line.

      Note: about #2 – An exception to the rule – for politicians. Don't button your expensive suit jacket and the proles think of you as matey, easy-going and one of them; you don't appear to be the toffy-nosed middle-class twit you are who would sell his or her grandmother's house under them for personal profit.

      • mac1 23.1.1

        But wear a tie, or else they'll think you are a hard-working CEO, and not a politician. If you want to look casual, then a pair of jeans with brown shoes and shirt worn outside covering the waist-line is de rigeur.

  24. Incognito 24

    When you have the Fourth Estate on your side, you can win an election with your hands tied behind your back.

    Hah! I’ve got the Press in my pocket and I tweet like Don.

  25. mosa 25

    Money money money must be funny in a rich man's world.

  26. soddenleaf 26

    Bridges. Where's Trump?

    Johnston. Painting Republicism as Corruption.

  27. Floaty turds that won't go away no matter how many times you flush

  28. Jag 28

    Display dummies exhibit latest stuffed shirt range.

  29. georgecom 29

    Bridges in the NZH today quoted saying kiwis will be voting for the same things UK voters did. What

    to leave Europe?

    to re-elect the government?

    to oust unpopular opposition leaders?

    to reject opposition parties?

  30. David Mac 30

    sibo

  31. peterlepaysan 31

    Tie colour is interesting. You can tell a lot about a person by the company they keep.

  32. mary_a 32

    New evidence of the dirty (Tory) pox plague infecting the world …

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