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Minister for Overseas Holidays

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Caption contest

Written By: - Date published: 1:25 pm, July 19th, 2011 - 38 comments

If you’re pissed off about how much you’re paying to fly your to LA PM to eat pavs, you’re just envious.

A try hard in America

Written By: - Date published: 10:30 am, July 19th, 2011 - 43 comments

Key’s off on holiday again. 5 days of taxpayer-funded travel and the only real meeting will be half an hour with Obama. But first, he’s in LA solely to have dinner with Warners. Value for our money eh? Key’s more excited about standing in the Oval Office so he can pretend to be powerful than achieving anything solid from his time in the US.

Caption contest: Off on holiday again

Written By: - Date published: 9:16 am, July 18th, 2011 - 41 comments

An excellent question

Written By: - Date published: 2:08 pm, May 7th, 2011 - 28 comments

“We see you on TV a lot. What else do you do?” – schoolkid to John Key at yet another photo-op.

In other news, Key was lying when he said he doesn’t have any choice over his DPS entourage. Helen Clark dismissed her DPS cover for at least 73 days when on private holidays. Key spent $30K of our money taking the DPS to Hawaii.

A nursery rhyme

Written By: - Date published: 8:56 am, May 1st, 2011 - 14 comments

Pussy Key, pussy Key, where have you been?
I’ve been down to London to visit the Queen.
Pussy Key, pussy Key, what did you there?
Sweet fuck all, but thanks for paying for my holiday

Key to spit dummy if voters reject him

Written By: - Date published: 10:51 am, January 3rd, 2011 - 162 comments

We’ve always said that John Key was only in politics for his personal reward. He just wants to have ‘PM of NZ’ on his CV. He just wants to go around smiling and waving at people who know who he is because of the office he holds. Now, he’s admitted as much by telling the Herald he’ll quit politics if we don’t re-elect him.

Key, Brownlee & McCully have questions to answer

Written By: - Date published: 10:10 am, December 22nd, 2010 - 45 comments

It seems we don’t have a government at the moment. John Key is incommunicado in Hawaii. The Acting PM, Bill English, and Key’s press people refuse to speak for him. Someone needs to front up because serious questions are emerging about the honesty of statements Gerry Brownlee and Murray McCully made in Parliament and to the New Zealand people.

Hollow man on the world stage

Written By: - Date published: 10:00 pm, November 16th, 2010 - 24 comments

Judged by his own terms, what has John Key actually achieved on trade? He talked big about Japan’s trade barriers – no-one paid him any attention. Russian FTA talks were announced – it’ll be worth just $27 million. Key’s meeting with ‘good mate’ Obama – actually sitting “pretty much next to” him during a play. And still no White House invite.

Buttering up Russia

Written By: - Date published: 11:00 am, November 15th, 2010 - 30 comments

What’s so great about free trade negotiations with Russia? We export only $180 million a year to them, most of it butter. That’s 2% of our exports to the US and Japan and Key’s made no progress on their trade barriers. Rising  oil costs will soon make our butter uncompetitive vs Russian dairy farmers. Key got his photo op – but not with Obama.

Focused on what matters

Written By: - Date published: 11:51 am, November 13th, 2010 - 32 comments

John Key has been on holiday in Japan for the last few days ahead of APEC while the real international leaders are in Korea for the G20. Key is keen to have a ‘pull-aside’ with Obama but, now, disaster: the US has limited the number of Kiwi media that can cover the smiling and waving. Key has leaped into action.

Where is everybody?

Written By: - Date published: 2:22 pm, November 12th, 2010 - 13 comments

John Key got to Japan for his Apec meeting a couple of days ago, and he’s been telling the Japanese they need to drop their tariffs, and the US he’d like to have a chat with Obama on the sidelines of a meeting, any meeting, please…  But nobody else is there.  They’re all still at the G20, across the ditch in Korea. What’s John Key doing?

Nasty Nats Steal Holidays

Written By: - Date published: 5:05 pm, November 7th, 2010 - 38 comments

This NAct government is so anti-worker that they have managed to re-arrange the calendar so that we get 5 fewer holidays in this government’s term than the last Labour one.  And that’s before they sell off our 4th week.

Disaster tourism

Written By: - Date published: 11:45 am, October 8th, 2010 - 28 comments

The Christchurch earthquake required the suspension of democracy nationwide for 18 months. But Key had time to take a week in Hawaii. And the Social Development Minister is able to go off on a ‘study’ holiday in the US. And Gerry Brownlee, who needed all those powers to rush through laws, has spare time to intervene in The Hobbit dispute.

Quick question

Written By: - Date published: 11:45 am, October 1st, 2010 - 41 comments

Why does our Minister of Tourism always take his holidays overseas?

Tax cuts for the rich no use if you’ve lost your job

Written By: - Date published: 6:45 am, September 30th, 2010 - 66 comments

Despite Bill English’s firm statement that “unemployment has peaked”, jobs are still being lost in large numbers. 1500 council workers in Auckland. 150 mushroom workers in Morrinsville. 500 workers whose quake hit employers are closing down in Christchurch. From John Key’s Hawaiian beach chair these worries must seem very far away.

Tell Liz you can’t make it, John

Written By: - Date published: 10:00 am, September 7th, 2010 - 28 comments

I didn’t want to be the first to say it. Since John Armstrong now has, I will ask the question too: why the hell is the John Key planning to go for a holiday weekend with the Queen and a chat with his carbon-copy David Cameron when our second-largest city is a disaster zone? It seems he doesn’t appreciate the responsibilities of his job and just wants to be Minister for Overseas Holidays.

Kiwi jester to play for Queen

Written By: - Date published: 9:15 pm, August 30th, 2010 - 15 comments

Self-styled ‘Jokemeister-in-chief’ John Key has been selected from a host of eager clowns, buffoons, and slapstick artists (known as the National Party) to perform for Queen Elizabeth the Second for a weekend next month. Asked if he has any nerves ahead of the big show, Key whipped out his old catchphrase saying “nah, I’m pretty relaxed”.

Nothing better to be doing

Written By: - Date published: 9:08 am, July 8th, 2010 - 20 comments

Is $175 an hour to hire a clown a good deal? Because you and I might think we are paying $350,000 a year plus expenses for a Prime Minister but it seems not. Yesterday, he spnt his time opening a pizza place. Next week: Key attends opening of letter.

John Key to Report on All Whites Game?

Written By: - Date published: 2:05 pm, June 9th, 2010 - 18 comments

So John Key is going to get to fly over and see the All Whites at the World Cup. Maybe he could do a match report for Radio New Zealand whilst he’s there. The World’s biggest sporting event by far, the Football World Cup, features New Zealand for the first time in 28 years. Can Radio New Zealand afford to send someone to cover this major story for our country? No.

NZ hero still prisoner of the Japanese State

Written By: - Date published: 8:35 am, April 18th, 2010 - 100 comments

Pete Bethune is one of New Zealand’s heroes. He’s been a successful entrepreneur and gone on to use his wealth to fight the big guys on the grounds of principle. As skipper of the New Zealand flagged hi-tech boat Earthrace, his circumnavigation attempts showcased kiwi ingenuity to the world and demonstrated the value of bio-fuels to […]

Key’s vomit-inducing Herald interview

Written By: - Date published: 9:56 am, April 17th, 2010 - 42 comments

If you want to read something vomit-inducing this morning, there’s no need to go any further than Audrey Young’s interview with Key about his overseas trip. Key talks about touching Barack Obama, sharing secrets with Stephen Harper, discussing Berlusconi’s boat, and how Angela Merkel knew Helen Clark quite well. If only Audrey Young were taking the piss, it wouldn’t be so yellow and chunky.

Glorified holiday for Bennett

Written By: - Date published: 10:23 am, March 9th, 2010 - 45 comments

There are 276,000 jobless Kiwis. The seasonally-adjusted trend on dole numbers is still on the rise. Many other people fall through the gaps and are unable to get public assistance in their time of need.
What better time for the Minister for Social Development to bugger off for five weeks?

Key too busy doing nothing

Written By: - Date published: 10:27 am, February 17th, 2010 - 5 comments

Tongue in cheek, George notes: When asked in Parliament why he hadn’t paid closer attention to his share portfolio, Key replied: “small technical issue, I’ve been busy running the country”. That statement must come close to misleading Parliament.

Do nothing and loving it

Written By: - Date published: 11:26 am, February 4th, 2010 - 11 comments

Saw this in the new culture/humour page in the Dom: Glad to see the “do-nothing PM” as Rodney Hide called John Key doing plenty of late. Take the past fortnight for example; there’s been the barbecue and beer with Prince William, photo ops with punters at the Wellington races, and a ribbon-cutting ceremony and practice […]

Covering for ‘Vacation John’

Written By: - Date published: 3:00 pm, January 15th, 2010 - 69 comments

Both David Farrar and Cameron Slater have posts up attacking a comment by roger nome in one of our comment threads, and it shows they are worried about Key’s image as a do nothing ‘Minister for Overseas Holidays’. On the surface level, it’s kind of cute that Farrar and Slater are obviously reading through our […]

Govt: All workers to get same holidays as PM

Written By: - Date published: 6:03 am, January 12th, 2010 - 85 comments

Workers to get same holidays as PM Monday, 11/01/2010, 11:30pm Press release: New Zealand Government The Government will raise the minimum annual leave entitlement for all workers from four weeks a year to seven, Prime Minister John Key said today. “This will bring the holiday entitlements of all Kiwis into line with the vacations I […]

John Key, Minister for Overseas Holidays

Written By: - Date published: 5:41 am, January 11th, 2010 - 85 comments

Happy new year! If you’re lucky enough to be on a bit of a break overseas say ‘Hi’ to Prime Minister John Key for me, since it’s out of the country where he’s likely to be. It’s no surprise Rodney Hide thinks John Key doesn’t do anything.  Key has been out of the country for almost […]

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